Just got off work and gf broke up with me during lunch
Taking requests
"I miss her."
>>674131146
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1PQrz96wyWl
Good luck trying to trigger
>>674131500
how long were you two together and what caused it?
>>674131639
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1sN0cCm0D7p
Was that a question?
"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo."
I put watermelons up my asshole for stimulation whilst rubbing olive oil all over my hot body.
Is my mic too low? Shit.
Gimme more. I fixed it
>>674131892
hahah that was just a question, man. also nice voice. really soothing for a male speaking voice.
>>674132160
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0dOqYF3K33e
>>674132255
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1XMat4Nvdtt
>>674132460
Well...
It all started when I joined the US Air Force.
The distance killed my romantic life
>>674130203
that sucks bro, but coming from a 24 year old I'll tell you that girls come and go, you really don't start getting into serious territory unless you've been together for 5+ years, It's pretty much family tradition for us to not get married till you're at least in your 30s and you've got your shit very much together before you even think of having a family. I also believe it's why my family is so tight and well off since we have that motto. Anyway, enjoy your new opportunity to find someone and I wish you the best op.
>>674130203
Are you the anime watching voicefag from a couple days ago?
>>674133343
http://vocaroo.com/i/s024R30Zz27j
Thanks. I needed that
...AND IN THIS CORNER, MANFRED DINGLEHEIMER: WORLD'S STRONGEST GNOME! HE WILL BE DEFENDING THE ICEWIND DALE CHAMPIONSHIP BELT IN A NO-HOLDS-BARRED HANDICAP MATCH AGAINST THE GRUESOME DUO THEMSELVES: THE FROSTFANG KOBOLDS, RIPPER AND SLASHER!! THIS IS THE FIGHT OF A LIFETIME PEOPLE, PLACE YOUR BETS AND GET READY FOR CARNAGE BECAUSE IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT FIGHTS AT "THE LAZY DRAGON"!
>>674133609
http://vocaroo.com/i/s07ZrtprQSl0
>>674134068
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0OylNQKADw1
I live in the base dorms
>>674134645
Thanks, that was awesome, you rock dude! I sure hope you get your stride back and keep moving forward.
>>674135191
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1o9ENeylW9i
Doing this thread is bringing me up
I am also taking requests I can speak in a professional radio voice.
In west Philadelphia born and raised. On the playground is where I spent most of my days.
>>674135726
Attention shoppers, attention employees
Attention shoppers, attention employees
An asshole has walked into the building.
I repeat. Asshole in the building.
That is all
>>674135791
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1YeuBME8pKv
>>674134068
vocaroo.com/i/s15TAJaAE90O
>>674136022
Vocaroo.com/i/s0FUX7jCTRZK
>>674136519
Comedy gold
>>674136022
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1T6zZew6F8r
come on ppl give me some material. I will literally read anything.
THE EXTRAORDINARY TRUESTORY OF JOHN A MOVIE OF SUCH HUMANITY AND GRACE THAT AT EVERY MOMENT YOU FEEL YOU'RE SEEING SOMETHING ESSENTIAL ONLY IN CINEMAS JANUARY 30
>>674136994
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0oOBqmwukKV
>>674136994
http://vocaroo.com/i/s09WZdILft1z
Anything??
"Coming in for the fourth quarter is Nicholas 'The Cage' Cage, defending his team's title for his retiring game. Now, you see Bob, The Cage has a lot to lose and a lot to gain with this match of Criss-Cross, but Rod 'Rod Miller' Miller has JUST entered his provisionals and is more than willing to crush The Cage's dreams in order to steal his title"
>>674137530
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s11oDps0oVwu
>>674136994
Loud slapping noises of my balls slapping deep into your asshole
That is a Canadian voice.
>>674137530
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1yFGm4BPl8U
>>674137844
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0a2fFXcqlHl
>>674137914
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ceObpTaZ7G
>>674138138
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1L8qmmSgXQe
>>674138285
I'm saving just about all the shit you put up.
Shit's cash
>>674138662
give me something golden.
Poo ga zon, I like muchachitos with very pokas clothes on them
>>674130203
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head, I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world, mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world, mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world
now that she is gone, I shall gladly and furiously masturbate all day. I might even learn to suck my own dick. Hell yeah.
>>674138781
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1BCm1tF4AwA
I literally get paid to say this at work
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0esITXkGjBD
>>674138438
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ctYmulcYUU
I have a nice voice, but it doesn't help me because I am a lonely loser. That is why I am reading aloud sentences from strangers, because I have nothing better to do in this mess I call a life.
I am OP. I am a faggot. Expect me.
Make a vocaroo of you commanding me to lick and sniff your sweaty cock.
>>674139052
http://vocaroo.com/i/s00bqqDBJs1x
I lick anuses for a living.
>>674139417
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1k8Vm8dJX50
>>674133010
HAH chair force faggot
>>674130203
This post is depressing.
>>674139417
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0gcuEzL446u
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0pq8USl4PAG
>>674139884
>>674139486
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1OnUUtewzw2
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0IuiIelttSa
Sluts, sluts, I fuck sluts.
Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts.
No "if"s, "and"s and/or but's. I fuck sluts.
I fuck sluts. Nice girls are nice but no good for nut-sucking,
You'll need a serene night to green-light a butt fucking,
But that'll be easy with sleazy old slut fucking.
Boo to the nice girls. Praise be to slut fucking!
I have a list. A list? Yes, a list of all the sluts I've missed.
I've never fucked or sucked these sluts and thus my nuts are fucking pissed.
So when I fuck the lucky slut my nut removes her from the list.
Another dumb cum-bucket struck from my nut-sucking,
Suck it slut, slut fucking bucket list.
[Talking break]
Sluts can be white, black, brown, pink, or almond.
They can be skinny with big tits or be skinny with small ones.
Sluts can be perky, preppy or posh with their brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash.
[Talking break]
But other sluts are pretty and funny and smart.
These sluts can lift all your thoughts from your dick to your heart.
They can talk about science, music, or art.
They can put you together or they can pull you apart.
But don't trust these sluts, don't, don't you dare.
They'll force you to trust them and love them and care.
And then they'll be gone and then you'll be aware
Of that hole in your heart that that dumb slut left there
>>674139509
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Id0qAYAZD3
>>674139660
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0OY3MnQg1yd
I try to forget the severe depression by reading aloud sentences from people on the internet. But god, it doesn't help. It really does not.
>>674139734
http://vocaroo.com/i/s15b37FBSZHP
*dont record this*
give me some more funny sports commentary to say. I prefer to read that.
>>674139786
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1y5ncYVx4xD
>>674130203
OP is honestly perfect. Have a nice rest of week OP
Protip to cheer you up !
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1aYP3fVrIlO
Drugs and butts
>>674140219
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0A4bsbjWrdm
>>674130203
Version von Frank Green[Bearbeiten | Quelltext bearbeiten]
Ten little Niggers going out to dine,
One choked his little self and then there were nine.
Nine little Niggers staying up too late,
One overslept himself and then there were eight.
One little, two little, three little, four little, five little Niggers,
Six little, seven little, eight little, nine little, ten little Niggers.
Eight little Niggers going into Devon.
One said he’d stay here and then there were seven.
Seven little Niggers chopping up sticks,
One chopped himself in half and then there were six.
Six little Niggers playing round a hive,
One bumble-bee stung one and then there were five.
Five little Niggers going in for law,
One got in Chancery and then there were four.
Four little Niggers going out to sea,
A red herring swallowed one and then there were three.
Three little Niggers visiting the Zoo,
A big bear hugged one and then there were two.
Two little Niggers playing in the sun,
One got shrivelled up and then there was one.
One little Nigger living all alone,
He got married and then there were none.
being insane keeps me sane.
>>674141138
fuck the air force, start voice acting dude
>>674140374
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0aPMlx8nwFU
>>674140675
You sound like you could maybe, MAYBE do NPR if you toned it down a bit.
Actually sounds like a bot.
Don't be too bummed about your gf breaking up with you. You'll be over her sooner than you think.
>>674140676
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1HuIBQd9ax2
>>674141161
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1h7t8FswsgF
>>674141011
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1lJgplhfJ27
Being circumcised is OK, being uncut is OK as well. I am at peace with myself and the universe. Being fat and thin is also OK. I find everything just fine. Except the feeling when you are about to sneeze but you cannot. And Donald Trump. He's an asshole.
>>674141561
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1h7t8FswsgF
nice one good job
>>674141561
YOU ARE THE BEST !
>>674141161
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0rpxJeuGkIZ
Are you hacking my computer you little faggot?
Feet, don't fail me now,
Take me to the finish line.
Oh, my heart, it breaks,
Every step that I take.
But I'm hoping at the gates,
They'll tell me that you're mine.
Walking through the city streets,
Is it by mistake or design?
I feel so alone on the Friday night,
Can you make it feel like home,
If I tell you you're mine?
It's like I told you honey.
Don't make me sad,
Don't make me cry.
Sometimes love is not enough
And the road gets tough,
I don't know why.
Keep making me laugh,
Let's go get high.
The road is long,
We carry on,
Try to have fun
In the meantime.
Come and take a walk on the wild side,
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain.
You like your girls insane.
So choose your last words,
This is the last time
'Cause you and I,
We were born to die.
>>674141161
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1b55WvMjOmn
T'as gagné Joeffrey, maintenant je vais vraiment te niquer ta mère !
Oh yeah, Mr Krabs
AHHHHHHHHHH!
>>674142387
good work !
Is this the real life, is this just fantasy
Caught in a landside, no escape from reality
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows
Doesn't really matter to me, to me
Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooh, didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, cos it doesn't really matter
Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooh I don't wanna die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all
>>674142009
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0GtnH6s6xBd
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY and Z
now I know my ABC, next time will you read shit 4chan comes up with with me?
Cunty ass titty shitty poop fucker
sing this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9AT3jjAP0Y
>>674142340
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0RqjlPDnVNp
Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness.
Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand--
Kalahira, wash the sins from this one,
and set him on the distant shore of the infinite spirit.
Kalahira, this one's heart is pure,
but beset by wickedness and contention.
Guide this one to where the traveler never tires,
the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve.
Guide this one, Kalahira,
and she will be a companion to you as she was to me.
sorry, I'm a Mass Effect whore
>>674142642
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0tYv5kNc9Bg
hah i had fun with this one.
>>674142449
http://vocaroo.com/i/s024hCgFN1I9
Nigger?
>>674142009
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0saXUqHCsBC
You will not upload, post, discuss, request, or link to anything that violates local or United States law.
You will immediately cease and not continue to access the site if you are under the age of 18.
You will not post any of the following outside of /b/: Trolls, flames, racism, off-topic replies, uncalled for catchphrases, macro image replies, indecipherable text (example: "lol u tk him 2da bar|?"), anthropomorphic ("furry") or grotesque ("guro") images, post number GETs ("dubs"), or loli/shota pornography.
You will not post or request personal information ("dox") or calls to invasion ("raids"). Inciting or participating in cross-board (intra-4chan) raids is also not permitted.
All boards that default to the Yotsuba B or Burichan (blue) themes are to be considered "work safe." Violators may be temporarily banned and their posts removed. Note: Spoilered pornography or other "not safe for work" content is NOT allowed on the work safe boards.
The quality of posts is extremely important to this community. Contributors are encouraged to provide high-quality images and informative comments.
Submitting false or misclassified reports, or otherwise abusing the reporting system may result in a ban. Replying to a thread stating that you've reported or "saged" it, or another post, is also not allowed.
Complaining about 4chan (its policies, moderation, etc) on the imageboards may result in post deletion and a ban.
Evading your ban will result in a permanent one. Instead, wait and appeal it!
No spamming or flooding of any kind. No intentionally evading spam or post filters.
Advertising (all forms) is not welcome—this includes any type of referral linking, "offers", soliciting, begging, stream threads, etc.
Impersonating a 4chan administrator, moderator, or janitor is strictly forbidden.
Do not use avatars or attach signatures to your posts.
>>674142642
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0bTVDoazUeN
>>674143290
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0tYv5kNc9Bg
worst cover of the Bohemian Rhapsody. Ever.
>>674141161
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1r5MqoqANpa
>>674142887
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0YfyGYcSoXm
>>674136519
made me laugh
>>674142943
http://vocaroo.com/i/s13TmmZnQPDM
>>674143387
http://vocaroo.com/i/s04WOr4ntTPX
I'm a dirty filthy fucking nigger
>>674144009
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0YfyGYcSoXm
topkek
>>674143353
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s024hCgFN1I9
https://youtu.be/xwy4a9Stqzw?t=4m33s
>>674143220
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0rkPQfOkN7K
Sorry, haven't played it even though I play games all the fucking time
>>674142009
Oh, look. Craigslist circa 2008 humor.
Grove Street. Home. At least it was, before I fucked everything up.
>>674143290
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0tYv5kNc9Bg
0:00-00:57 kek fucking southern accent. 57-1:106 ok. 1:08 you broke tone. 1:23ish you brought it back.
Do you have any professional voice/singing training? I'm pretty drunk so everything seems great though.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1m1zdzC4Ihz
I am an extremely overrated wannabe voice actor. But still better than you faggots.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1EuNtt3E9G4
>>674144782
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0719uVjCwEZ
I am a lesbian with a deep voice.
>>674144889
zero pro training.
>>674145107
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0719uVjCwEZ
instant goosebumps, thank you. Best game ever.
>>674144961
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1EuNtt3E9G4
Jesubs, that southern accent ruins it. Where are you from op?
>>674144944
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1vQUnqZ1JNM
>>674144677
I highly recommend them, the 2nd is made much better with Overlord and Shadowbroker DLC. The 3rd is fucking amazing with Omega, Leviathan, and Citadel
>>674145115
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1LoPyePTp2K
lmfao
Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much I make a year? I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going into work? A business big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly up. Disappears! It ceases to exist without me. No, you clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!
>>674145235
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1EuNtt3E9G4
does my accent really show? I am from Eastern KY.
>>674145357
I plan to get it on Steam once I get a computer that can run it better than my current.
Air Force pays me enough for a PS4/portable tv, but not for a nice computer to go along with it
>>674144944
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1GUoqQjezEf
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms.
I'd post a competitive deep radio voice if I knew I wouldn't be ridiculed for my Northern Midwestern accent.
>>674145115
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1GUoqQjezEf
I sexually identify as a male lesbian horse rancher
part 1/2:
Today gentlemen, I am honored to coach you, more honored to take you onto the field of battle. There is another honor to be bestowed upon you, that is the answer that comes with that question
WHO AM I ? I'M A CHAMPION !
That's right and i need you to remember that all throughout this game, i will conquer what has not been conquered
defeat will not be in my creed. I will belive what others have doubted. I will always andevor the prestige honor, and respect of my team. I have trained my mind and my body will follow
WHO AM I ? I'M A CHAMPION !
I will acknowledge the fact that my opponents do not expect me to win, but i will never surrender. Weakness will not be in my heart. I will look to my comrades, to those who have brought me into this world and thoses ho have trained me and i will draw strenght from them
WHO AM I ? I'M A CHAMPION !
I will gladly go out into the field of battle, and i will move, groove and do everything thaht I can do, and I will reach my field of battle by ane means at my disposal. And when I get there, I will arrive violently. I will rip the heart from my enemy and leave it bleeding on the ground, beacause he cannot stop me.
WHO AM I ? I'M A CHAMPION !
part 2/2:
To my side I have comrades, comrades that have been with me throught thick and thin, throught sacrifice, throught blood, through sweat, through tears. Nver will I let them fall. Never will I let them down and I will never leave an enemy behind, beacause our opponent does not know my heart.
WHO AM I ? I'M A CHAMPION !
No one will deny me, no one will defy me, and no one will tell me who and what I am and can be. Belivef wil change my world, it has moved continents and countries, and put man on the moon, and il will carry me through this battle.
WHO AM I ? I'M A CHAMPION !
Defeat, retreat those are not in my words, I don't understant those definitions, I don't understant when things go wrong, I don't understand mistakes, but I do understand this: I understand victory, and I undertsand never surrendering. NO matter how bad things go, my heart and my mind will carry my body when my linbs are too weak
WHO AM I ? I'M A CHAMPION !
Today will be that day, not tomorrow, not next week, but right now, right here, in your house, and in your home
WHO AM I ? I'M A CHAMPION !
History will remember me, and I will not have to worry about him being kind. I will define myself. I will write my own praises. And non one will tell me what I can and cannot be. I will never go home, not without giving everythiong I have got
COZ WHO AM I ? I'M A CHAMPION !
WHO AM I ? I'M A CHAMPION !!!
WHO AM I ? I'M A CHAMPION !!!!!
>>674145586
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1w9Z4NBxH7j
>Skylar
Is that from Heroes? I stopped watching that after the asian started dying from his powers
>>674145588
Weirdly, yes. But I'm not used to it. Don't be too put off by it. It's a part of who you are.
>>674146350
Breaking Bad. But nicely done.
>>674145742
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0DLPPCNwZwm
Paused because F-16 was flying and I could hear it
I like this thread. Thank you to the voice actors. You may read this as well. But you don't have to. It is up to you. Have a good day gentlemen.
>>674145992
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0vw9etOMcax
Some grammar through me off. Read with me and you'll get it
Nice bread
>>674146056
>>674147595
http://vocaroo.com/i/s17gYN6Jj2Dk
They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice... that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person.
In this thread OP wasn't a fag
>>674148268
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1iRsU5NjPNp
I really had to piss during this one
>>674148420
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0RtJP1NsiLj
Oh you
Over the years, the French press has undergone several design modifications. The first coffee press, which may have been made in France, was the modern coffee press in its rudimentary form: a metal or cheesecloth screen fitted to a rod that users would press into a pot of boiling water. The coffee press was patented by Milanese designer Attilio Calimani in 1929. It underwent several design modifications through Faliero Bondanini, who patented his own version in 1958 and began manufacturing it in a French clarinet factory called Martin SA, where its popularity grew. The device was further popularized across Europe by a British company by the name of Household Articles Ltd., and most notably, the Danish tableware and kitchenware company, Bodum.
The modern French press consists of a narrow cylindrical beaker, usually made of glass or clear plastic, equipped with a metal or plastic lid and plunger that fits tightly in the cylinder and has a fine wire or nylon mesh filter.
BIG BOY BANTER
BIG BOY BANTER
BIG BOY BANTER
BIG BOY BANTER
BIG BOY BANTER
BIG BOY BANTER
She puts the lotion on the skin or else she gets the hose again.
There are 10 million million million million million million million million million particles in the universe that we can observe. Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd.
>>674148948
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0qDE4zSwBvS
Paused because I wanted to say "Bodum tss"
This place is a mess. What am I even doing here. Wasting my day, if not my life, reading pointless made up crap from the internet. Wanting to be liked, held, loved. So alone.
>>674149009
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1qBSPRU1Fh2
>>674149142
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1kCI5WJb7A7
>>674149338
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0hHXCZvW4KG
I cannot decide which TV series was crappier, Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad. What, you call me edgy, because that shit is popular? That is not a measurement of artistic quality you know.
>>674149567
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1pADy9bSPjQ
I actually cleaned up my dorm today. Inspections are no joke
I wrote this about my lecturer.... could you please read it :)
your honesty is beautiful your experiences of life so rich and authentic, you were born a sapling in a wasteland, with time and steady growth to become the mighty Oak of the forest, your roots go deep into this earth and spread knowledge to all which they touch, transforming society from the ground up, Evil is blotted out by your leaves and life is given sanctuary under your canopy, a plethora of life surrounds you, drawn by the sense of something greater… life giving sap and protective branches give all that is needed.
Within the limbs of Roy Spina we all can seek salvation.
Also Elliot is gay.
>>674150259
kek, my RA didn't even show up for inspections last week
>>674150151
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1eMMoT9bSlv
I agree, but I still liked both. Haven't finished the first season of Breaking Bad though. I know Bald Man dies in the end though
Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like on
A-Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me.
Fill my heart with song and let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
Let 4chan suggest shit to read they said. It will be fun they said.
Straight outta Compton, crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube
From the gang called Niggaz With Attitudes
When I'm called off, I got a sawed off
Squeeze the trigger, and bodies are hauled off
You too, boy, if ya fuck with me
The police are gonna hafta come and get me
Off yo' ass, that's how I'm goin' out
For the punk motherfuckers that's showin' out
Niggaz start to mumble, they wanna rumble
Mix 'em and cook 'em in a pot like gumbo
Goin' off on a motherfucker like that
With a gat that's pointed at yo' ass
So give it up smooth
Ain't no tellin' when I'm down for a jack move
Here's a murder rap to keep yo' dancin
with a crime record like Charles Manson
AK-47 is the tool
Don't make me act the motherfuckin' fool
Me you can go toe to toe, no maybe
I'm knockin niggaz out tha box, daily
Yo weekly, monthly and yearly
Until them dumb motherfuckers see clearly
That I'm down with the capital C-P-T
Boy you can't fuck with me
So when I'm in your neighborhood, you better duck
Cuz Ice Cube is crazy as fuck
As I leave, believe I'm stompin
But when I come back, boy, I'm comin' straight outta Compton
Please rap it just like the song
>>674150467
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0snHa7xbu9f
>>674150500
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0PRPjQqZrQ3
When I say serious, I mean they do it every half year or so.
Just, if you're a fucking idiot who has a messy room when they tell you ahead of time to clean up, time for seeing the Group Commander in Blues
>>674151280
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0snHa7xbu9f
your "s"'s are effeminist/fat
>>674151280
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0snHa7xbu9f
(Don't read this one out) Just wanted to say thank you, that has made my day, lots of love man you were too good for that girl :)
>>674151776
Didn't mean that to be rude. Honest critique.
>>674151196
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1XQAXWVHa92
Just this kind. I can't.
Maybe with a beat and some shit that hides the shitty part of my voice
>>674151776
>>674152230
Didn't take it as rude. Shit, this is /b/. I expect you to be rude and take it as normal conversion with rude tones.
I'll try to ease up on Ss
Battle brothers, space marines! Today, the enemy is at our door. We know our duty, and we will do it. We fight for our honor as Blood Ravens, as Space Marines, and we will fight in the name of the Emperor.
If we die this day, we die in glory; we die heroes' deaths. But we shall not die, no, it is the enemy who shall taste death and defeat.
As you know, most of our battle brothers are stationed in space, prepared to deep strike. Our perimeter has been prepared in the event that our enemy should be so bold and so foolish. We have placed numerous beacons, allowing for multiple, simultaneous, and devastating defensive deep strikes. The Codex Astartes names this maneuver "Steel Rain."
We will descend upon the foe, we will overwhelm them; we will leave none alive. Meanwhile, our ground forces will ensure the full defense of our headquarters. We are the Space Marines. We are the Emperor's fury!
Mursia is a genus of crabs in the family Calappidae, containing the following species:[1]
Mursia africana Galil, 1993
Mursia armata De Haan, 1837
Mursia aspera Alcock, 1899
Mursia aurorae Galil & Ng, 2009
Mursia australiensis Campbell, 1971
Mursia baconaua Galil & Takeda, 2004
Mursia balguerii Desbonne in Desbonne & Schramm, 1867
Mursia bicristimana Alcock & Anderson, 1895
Mursia buwaya Galil & Takeda, 2004
Mursia coseli Crosnier, 1997
Mursia cristiata H. Milne-Edwards, 1837
Mursia cristimanus De Haan, 1837
Mursia curtispina Miers, 1886
Mursia danigoi Galil, 1993
Mursia diwata Galil & Takeda, 2004
Mursia flamma Galil, 1993
Mursia hawaiiensis Rathbun, 1894
Mursia longispina Crosnier, 1997
Mursia mameleu Galil & Takeda, 2004
Mursia mcdowelli Manning & Chace, 1990
Mursia microspina Davie & Short, 1989
Mursia minuta Spiridonov & Apel, 2007
Mursia musorstomia Galil, 1993
Mursia orientalia Galil & Takeda, 2005
Mursia poupini Galil, 2001
Mursia spinimanus Rathbun, 1906
Mursia steinhardti Galil & Ng, 2009
Mursia trispinosa Parisi, 1914
Mursia xianshengi Lai & Galil, 2006
Mursia zarenkovi Galil & Spiridonov, 1998
My sides are destroyed from this post. You are autistic, anon.
I'll have you know moot is my fucking dad you nigger, and where do I train to be such a fucking savage? Well at the salty spitoon of course.
Try me buddy, I'll plow your ass harder than sam peppers when he went all sand nigger that one time.
Fuck you, welcome to the rice fields.
(BTW OP YOUR COOL I NEED THIS TO SEND TO AUTISTIC FRIENDS) thx bb
Wheelchair rugby at the 2008 Summer Paralympics – Rosters
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Main article: Wheelchair rugby at the 2008 Summer Paralympics
Eight teams participated in wheelchair rugby at the 2008 Summer Paralympics in Beijing, China. Teams could have up to 12 players, but no more than 11 of the team members could be male. In wheelchair rugby, each player is given a sport class based on their upper body function. The classification is a 7-level score ranging from 0.5 to 3.5, with lower scores corresponding to more severe disability. The sum score of all a team's players on the field could not exceed 8.
>>674153445
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0LmETADSCcY
The thread in which OP is not a faggot. It is here. It is now. Deal with it.
>>674153662
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0DgeG3Shl7M
>>674154169
http://vocaroo.com/i/s11voCBsdfCj
>>674153791
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0g7umexJ2aH
That was fun
WITNESS ME!
Let me see your bung hole.
you skipped mine anon D: I wasn't calling you autistic, I wanted to send it to my friend and other ninja tortoises
oh rip nvm thx anon
GL with your life buddy. Keep pushing through
>>674133343
I know the female members of your family are tight though your mom has a pussy like a wizard sleeve.
AHA TRIPS
>>674155396
http://vocaroo.com/i/s09qcGr2Pip8
"Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith so powerful and so wise, he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create life. He had such a knowledge of the dark side, he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying."
>>674155625
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1z7MQAUWMOu
Ooh
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
>>674156030
meant for >>674155543
>>674155543
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1jqavisRZU5
>>674155786
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0VdWr28jkOs
op how many tries did it take you for my salty spitoon request
I'm fucking dead and you sounded like you just finished dying laughing holy fuck
Feel better, gl mate
>>674152524
Haha yo, that actually wasn't bad though. Got a laugh and a smile out of me, so that's all that matters. Thanks /b/ro
>>674155871
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1JC0y0tO8GQ
Hello, my name is spingebill and I am a sex offender.
>>674156005
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1An0KvWEkPW
What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now.
>>674156107
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0cUMkS6y5tG
>>674156742
officially my favorite OP in a long time
Your mother jerks off pigs. She gets down on her knees and crawls through the pigpiss mud slop and snuggles up to the pig, her fingers tracing along it's belly until she finds it's cock. She begins tugging and stroking as her twat moistens, her breasts swelling and her nipples begin to stick out like erasers on a fresh #2 pencil. She grunts with satisfaction as the pig begins eagerly thrusting into her hand, her grip now tightening to maintain control of the pig's greasy corkscrew cock. She lowers her head to watch the cock work in her hand, groans with satisfaction and begins working her clit with her other muddy hand, her hips gyrating with the rhythm of the pig's thrusting.
"Oh fucking jesus god yes.." she gasps. She changes positions, still maintaining control of the feverishly thrusting cock as the pig's squealing intensifies. With a massive grunt and a high pitched squeal, the pig's balls explode, beginning a massive shower of hot, sour pig jizz. She cups one hand under the fountain of steaming genetic material gathering it in her hand as the thrusting comes to an end. The pig shudders and begins to walk to the trough of slop in the corner of it's pen, but your mother tackles it to the ground. She lifts it's tail and smears the handful of pig load into the pig's own fetid butthole, turning flakes of crusty pig shit into a pigshit-pigjizz mud slop on the pigs ass. She slams her face full force into the pig's butthole and it's wreath of shitsemen pudding, her tongue machine gun flicking the rim and then burying itself to the hilt inside the pig's hot colon. Your mother works her tongue around the inside of the pigs ass, and then as a few incoherent syllables escaped her now brown lips, spurts of female ejaculate spurt from her pulsating cunt. Exhausted, she collapses in the mud, rolls over onto her back, and lights a cigarette. She takes one long drag, looks again to the sky, and speaks your name one last time before she drifts off to sleep.
>>674156507
It took a good half dozen. I like to do these shits with feeling, as if I'm talking in a conversation
>>674157003
Stay strong for /b/ OP
>>674156730
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0keaQFDW6fE
A stave bearing is a simple journal bearing where a shaft rotates in a bearing housing. Rather than the usual arrangement where the fixed part of the bearing surrounds most of the circumference of the shaft in one or two pieces, a stave bearing uses a large number of axial staves to support the shaft. A large housing is made with grooves running along the shaft, these grooves being filled with strips of suitable material, originally wood.
>>674157228
Best.
OP.
Ever.
GL bud.
Sou um ladrão de cu, amo dar o cuuuuzinhoooo
>>674132460
pretty nice voice m8.
>>674156925
http://vocaroo.com/i/s09loxBaAENX
I fucking can't
>>674157897
Holy shit best one yet
Male canids have a bulbus glandis at the base of their penises.[1][2][3][4] The penis sometimes emerges from the penile sheath during sexual arousal.[5][6] During coitus the bulbus glandis swells up and results in a 'tie' (the male and female dogs being tied together). Muscles in the vagina of the female assist the retention by contracting.[citation needed]
At the time of penetration, the canine penis is not erect, and can only penetrate the female because it includes a narrow bone called the "baculum", a feature of most placental mammals. When the male achieves penetration, he will usually hold the female tighter and thrust deeply. It is during this time that the male's penis expands and it is important that the bulbus gland is far enough inside for the female to be able to trap it. Unlike human sexual intercourse, where the male penis commonly becomes erect before entering the female, canine copulation involves the male first penetrating the female, after which swelling of the penis to erection occurs, which usually happens rapidly.[7]
Male canines are one of the few animals that have a locking bulbus glandis or "bulb", a spherical area of erectile tissue at the base of the penis. During copulation, and only after the male's penis is fully inside the female's vagina, the bulbus glandis becomes engorged with blood.[8] When the female's vagina subsequently contracts, the penis becomes locked inside the female.[9] This is known as "tying" or "knotting". While characteristic of mating in most canids, the copulatory tie has been reported to be absent[10] or very brief (less than one minute)[11] in the African wild dog, possibly due to the abundance of large predators in its environment.[12]
this bread is very good
>>674157897
How about this version?
What the darn-diddily-doodily did you just say about me, you little witcharooney? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Springfield Bible College, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret mission trips in Capital City, and I have over 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained in the Old Testament and I’m the top converter in the entire church mission group. You are nothing to me but just another heathen. I will cast your sins out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Heaven, mark my diddily-iddilly words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemy to me over the Internet? Think again, friendarino. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of evangelists across Springfield and your IP is being traced by God right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggorino. The storm that wipes out the diddily little thing you call your life of sin. You’re going to Church, kiddily-widdily. Jesus can be anywhere, anytime, and he can turn you to the Gospel in over infinity ways, and that’s just with his bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching to nonbelievers, but I have access to the entire dang- diddily Bible collection of the Springfield Bible College and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins away off the face of the continent, you diddily-doo satan-worshipper. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you from the Heavens, maybe you would have held your darn-diddily-fundgearoo tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re clean of all your sins, you widdillo-skiddily neighborino. I will sing hymns of praise all over you and you will drown in the love of Christ. You’re farn-foodily- flank-fiddily reborn, kiddo-diddily
The name "Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu" translates roughly as "The summit where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, the slider, climber of mountains, the land-swallower who travelled about, played his nose flute to his loved one". Some forms of the name are longer still: "Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaurehaeaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu" has 92 letters. An even longer version, Taumata-whakatangihanga-koauau-o-Tamatea-haumai-tawhiti-ure-haea-turi-pukaka-piki-maunga-horo-nuku-pokai-whenua-ki-tana-tahu, has 105 letters and means "The hill of the nose-flute playing by Tamatea – who was blown hither from afar, had a slit penis, grazed his knees climbing mountains, fell on the earth, and encircled the land – to his beloved".
Say my name!
[in another voice] You're ... Heisenberg.
You're god damn right!
>>674157146
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0EK052wIaCW
So many fucking takes. I fuck up a few times, but shit that was funny
2 girls 1 cup is what I get off to. What a shitty movie anyway, but I like it.
>>674157440
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Q5f02XB3lL
>>674157525
http://vocaroo.com/i/s08h5wcw9WMU
>>674157527
http://vocaroo.com/i/s18CAC5sOkVN
Bumping epic thread
Tengo un puerco en mis calzones
"Leck mich im Arsch" (literally "Lick me in the arse") is a canon in B-flat major composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, K. 231 (K. 382c), with lyrics in German. It was one of a set of at least six canons probably written in Vienna in 1782. Sung by six voices as a three-part round, it is thought to be a party piece for his friends.
>>674158642
I'm done with this one. I did at least ten takes
Then the last decided to disconnect when I finally did it
>>674158754
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Lofj1quI10
Today, OP was not a faggot. Keep you chin up, and keep smiling. Things will get better <3
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1QUjmdZlw1U
>>674158827
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1W7Pbamjgdl
>>674159274
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1fk1o3M2PeC
A lot of shit, but...
>>674159421
http://vocaroo.com/i/s09Rpz0DawtM
>>674159569
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Rly5mnOvmJ
>>674160266
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0IdHFeJjuPo
>>674160584
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Hz8fxABZA8
Awwww shiiiiiiiieeet nigga
>>674160696
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0hp4aB01FlB
>>674161454
http://vocaroo.com/i/s19JQcPTVMrj
I've been at this for hours and have been smiling ever since
>>674163058
http://vocaroo.com/i/s01B4S6nzQG8
>>674163684
Glad to hear. Thanks for the laughs. Have a goodnight anon :)
>>674163829
You just gave me a new notification ringtone
ou no break
Hey
Bad boys, bad boys
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they come for you?
Why did you have to act so mean?
Don't you know you're human being?
Born from a mother with the love from a father
Reflections come and reflections go
I know sometimes you want to let go
Hehehe
I know sometimes you want to let go
Bad boys, bad boys
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they come for you?
You chuck it on that one, ya chuck it on this one
You chuck it on ya mother and ya chuck it on ya father
You chuck it on ya brother and ya chuck it on ya sister
And you chuck it on that one and ya chuck it on me!
Bad boys, bad boys
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they come for you?
>>674164179
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Lr6n2YaZ7D
How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me
How you can grant the woman access to your villa
Trespasser and a witness while you cling to your pillow
You better watch your back before she turn into a killer
Best for you and the situation not to call the beaner
To be a true player you have to know how to play
If she say a night, convince her say a day
Never admit to a word when she say
And if she claims and you tell her baby no way
Im bored, ask me anything
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0aMvYC1QOhT
>>674165310
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0WrJw40XTmg
Belief, like fear or love, is a force to be understood as we understand the Theory of Relativity and Principles of Uncertainty: phenomenon that determine the course of our lives. Yesterday, my life was headed in one direction. Today, it is headed in another. Yesterday I believed that I would never have done what I did today. These forces that often remake time and space, that can shape and alter who we imagine ourselves to be, begin long before we are born and continue after we perish. Our lives and our choices, like quantum trajectories, are understood moment to moment. At each point of intersection, each encounter suggests a new potential direction.
>>674166330
sorry I made this hard to read
>>674166094
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1YOQxBbbljz
>>674166094
Am I gay?
>>674166330
>>674166403
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0D4jArZtJqr
>>674166596
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0UP9qHtaOLZ
>>674166467
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0gl5Mvq5Qfn
What's a negro papi?
>>674166596
Small questions dont get small answers
>>674166980
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1LrFvJ56xLM
>Haskell Moore:
There is a natural order to this world, and those who try to upend it do not fare well.
This movement will never survive; if you join them, you and your entire family will be shunned.
At best, you will exist a pariah to be spat at and beaten-at worst, to be lynched or crucified.
And for what? For what? No matter what you do it will never amount to anything more than a single drop in a limitless ocean.
>Adam Ewing:
What is an ocean but a multitude of drops?
>>674167327
http://vocaroo.com/i/s00xZiHK6UYp
>>674167327
>>674167327
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0fVd05zqCKt
>>674167767
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1yfbmhw8yN4
>>674168058
Can I kill a nigger?
>>674167531
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1gqMs2NQg8a
>>674168415
This thread might die soon
http://vocaroo.com/i/s18yffhkGdno
>>674168964
Would killing a furry be okay then?
>>674169551
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1sEeglpwT3b
>>674170298
Thank you. <3
one last movie quote:
Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.
ps: thanks for recording all our shit OP, hope things go alright after the break up
>>674170705
>>674170705
re recorded. Slow upload rate
http://vocaroo.com/i/s12C1zdYViyt
>>674171335
I-I love you.
>>674171782
http://vocaroo.com/i/s16FsGCzClvn
i enjoy listening to myself. I wish had my computer so i can provide beget sound quality
>>674171180
http://vocaroo.com/i/s193MwGgMHZi
I love you all
>>674166980
>streaming anime
>>674174491
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ixUqA1kH3e
>>674174762
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ghTF6NqhPn
My butt hole feels good.
>>674174977
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1n2jXlX7amn
>>674175598
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0z1FQqnSlDQ
>>674175458
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0DHZNY0y526
>>674177334
Hey guys it's me Brad Armstrong, I'm not saying I'm a pedophile but I'd fuck Buddy
say that homie
I rub my asshole and then I squirt.
>>674177850
http://vocaroo.com/i/s13JanR58VEG
>>674177940
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0WIX3d5RxXU
