Greentext stories anyone ?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Greentext stories anyone ?
Dead thread
>>673905498
Moar
Bumping for interest
bump for the lulz yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (its summertime yay!)
>be me
>be middleschool
>meet grill
>clingy as fuck
>dumb as shit
>butterface
>wants me to be her bf so bad
>nowant.gif
>fast forward to now
>she is in the military
>i'm sitting here on a japanese image board still a virgin
>wonder if I should have hit it
>>673907002
yeah you should have
>>673907801
I probably should have at least made her a gf in retrospect so I wouldn't be so autistic turbovirginy as I am now. Such is life
>be me
>be virgin
>browse /b/
>>673908443
you and 99% of everybody else here. sage for moar stories
>>673908671
>smoke weed
>fap to porn threads
>play games
>fap to porn threads
>be me
>be last night
>see a thread about stories about peole getting away with anything unspecific.
>start typing my greentext story
>i try to explain how my high school schedule works since i am a leaf fag and we do shit wierd up here
>keep trying to decide how to fucking explain it
>ihavenocluewhatiamdoinghere.jpg
>get kinda pissed slammed my mouse
>accidentally hit the back button like an autismo
>fuckyounigger.gif
>throw mouse at my laptop screen
>,noteven that hard
>shatter screen
>screen is now perma 4chan
>wtfdididofuck.jgp
>mfw i can't use my laptop
>mfw i lost all my memes
>mfw i destroyed the only window to my outside world because i'm scared shitless to leave my house
i should end myself. currently on pops laptop.
Hand-picked. Choose whichever.
>>673908985
I don't smoke weed lmao like other tards
>>673909239
Autism pls
>>673909239
prostate_exams_haha please
>>673908143
my gf in high school mwas an ugly asian. atleast i got 14 year old poon when i was 14. broke up with her. banged one other chick 4 years ago. last time i had sex.
i feel i have too much privilege for 4chan
>be me, had a party last night (ecstasy, speed etc)
>dancing with a girl everything goes well
>just in the finish line after a few hours, her boyfriend cames over (didnt even know she has one)
>almost get rekt but my friends helped me out
>next day feeling extremly horny
>decide to go for a hooker
>searching pics looks good, arrives at the place
>fcking hell of an ugly gypsy woman with his pimp
>fat old ugly smells like dog shit but there is the pimp I cant say you dont look like on the pics
>I could only decrase the bussiness for a short blowjob
>hell of the worst fucking bj ever couldnt even reach a normal erect it was a mentally pain
> now hoping not getting aids or anything fuck my life I am almost crying it was like a rape
>>673909419
>>673909354
Most are old and well-known tho.
>>673909478
damn
>>673909470
pussy. it is easy to refuse a pimp. tell him his hoe is ugly and get the fuck outta there. done it before.
helps if you bring a gun
>>673909239
could you like upload these to mega or something?
>>673909786
it is not detroit dude, here i can go to jail even for a longer knife than 10 cm
>>673905498
>be me
>be 19
>take bunch of dogs painkillers
>wake up still numb
>vow to stop doing pills
>go to friends dorm to watc movie with her and her friends
>say "I'm going to behave tonight"
>8/10 hot blonde friend call her Amanda and 3/10 ogre (already my friends) are there
>other 8/10 blonde is there, let's call her "steph"
>steph drunk and wants D
>immediately get drunk to fuck her "ethically"
>she wants 3way with ogre and possibly 4way with other 8/10
Fuckyes.com
>go outside make out with 8/10s
>8/10s make out with each other
>go to eat ogre to be polite
Ohno.jpg
Tastes like an armpit and spoiled lunch meat
>Get my face out I their faster than a special operations medevac team
>stick dick in ogre and finger steph while she makes out with Amanda
>8/10 Amanda leaves because
"To many vaginas for one condom"
>Left with 8/10 steph and 3/10 ogre
8/10 steph sits on my face and fuck ogre
Fuck steph doggy style and try to get her to eat ogre
Call ogre armpit behind her back from now on
>>673909953
nah.
Muh archive
drive google com (SLASH) folderview (QUESTION MARK) id (EQUALS) 0B (UNDERSCORE) yEDN2T6KIGd2I0THlNNzhraFk (AND SYMBOL) usp (EQUALS) sharing
>Be me
>be 14
>visitng my dads ranch
>breeds german shepards
>alpha female always rubbing her twat on me and always following me
>barely starting to fill out due to puberty
>deluded mind thinks dog actually likes me
>like 15 people in this house makes ot hard to fap
>one day almost everyone.gors to birthday party
>"Lets not bring Anom cause hes weird"
>only old ass step-grandma in the house
>go outside
>dog starts doing the same thing
>tree shrouded part of the property like a thick ass forest
>rubs her ass.against my dick
>fuckinwhynot.gif
>pull my pants down elastic wastband pushing up my balls
>grab her around the waste
>put thumb slightly in her.pussy
>dog starts to struggle playfully a little bit
>totally submits and turns head and looks at me
>toohortoohornynofucksgiven
>slide barely.more than my head inside
>shes whimpering so much
>tight and warmer than anything ive ever experienced again
>a little bit of blood starts to come out of her
>shes breathing fast
>i got as close to balls deep as I can
>cum
>instant regreT
>dont tell anyone
>always loved playing with me anytime I came over
>suddenly couldnt be around any other aiblings or cousins amd over territorial over me
>actually put a gravemarker when she died
>>673905498
>>673910234
shitty story.
>>673910546
I just realized, this guy screencapped his own post? Thats kinda faggy.
>>673910546
Armpits vagina still haunts me to this day
>>673910393
damn dude
>>673910393
>>"Lets not bring Anon cause hes weird"
sounds like they made the right decision you fucking freak
>>673910546
best story ever
fucking autistic mlp
>>673911342
Not into bestiality
You came to the wrong neighborhood motherfucker
>>673911116
Yeah, maybe you should work on your storytelling.
>>673911546
>bestiality
>/b/
>wrong neighborhood
Then what is.
>pic semi-related
>be me
>finally going to interview for well paid job
>everything was superb well, unexpectedly
>itishabbening.jpeg
>she asks what i do in my free times
>erm... browsing 4chan
>what is 4chan??? takes a note and says she is going to check it
mfw
>>673910954
Yeah a bit, but think of the coincidence that was ocurring
>>673911861
literally why
>>673911861
>new job
>they say that IT actively monitors internet usage
>they will never be the same.
Already posted this before but I'll do it again
>be me
>be 3
>at friends birthday party
>examining unwrapped present
>little shit next to me yells in my face "don't touch the presents"
>ignore him
>examine other present
>again "don't touch the presents they're not yours"
>after third or fourth time I turn to him
>wrap hands around his throat and strangle him
>mom pulls me off of him
>laugh my ass off when told this story recently
>>673909239
Dead shark
>>673909182
people who live in mom's basement shouldn't throw mouses
>>673913071
Great choice.
>>673911891
The feels are real
Anyone have one about an anon that meets this girl named Baby? Girl takes a liking to this anon and possibly kills someone.
>>673909182
>throwing a fit because explaining things is hard
How autist can you get, damn.
>>673909425
are you me?
>>673909425
well, except the asian part
>>673912956
K-E-K
>>673913369
>
>>673913249
my sides have left this dimension
>>673913560
Oh fuck, this is pure gold.
>>673905498
Back in the day.
>>673910393
Fakeee
>>673913863
Anon you fuckin champ, thank you.
>>673909182
>needs screen to extract files
Turbonigger.
>>673912956
kek
>>673909555
amazing story with trips on top, checked
>>673912956
I was not prepared for this, my brain just segfaulted.
>>673906630
Fucking Kek
>>673914031
you're welcome
This shit had me commit suicide
>>673905498
>Friend posts on Facebook that he's going on road trip
>I post Caitlyn Jenner from southpark "buckle up buckaroo" clip as a comment.
>Go to work.
>Come home.
>go to bed.
>Wake up next morning to see a flood of angry comments.
>Tell everyone to stop being so sensitive, it's just a joke.
>Go to work.
>Come home with even more angry comments, and messages in my inbox.
>MFW I realize he ran someone over the night he posted that shit.
>MFW I didn't see that post of his pregnant wife in hospital with neck injuries.
>MFW his wife died in ER a few hours later.
Jesus Christ. This happened about 2 weeks ago.
I explained myself to everyone, including him, and there's no hard feelings.
But definitely still feel like an ass hole.
>>673912708
riiiiiiight
>>673911891
It's already a shitty rainy day out. Why give me this
>>673915131
>>673912956
Oh my god I haven't laughed like that in a while
>>673911551
Ye Gods that's glorious
Not really greentext but still some kek worth
>>673909239
wincest fail pls
>>673911891
That was fucking brutal dude
>>673915838
>>673909239
cubicle cow vs ricardo
that one is pure gold
>>673909239
grampa please
>>673905498
not a story but has some useful advice in it
>>673916454
It sure damn is.
>>673916705
You know, saying "there will be a school shooting tomorrow in [large area of USA]", you'de be right like 3 times out of 5.
>be 9 yr old me
>christmas week
>presents are already under the tree
>too impatient for christmas to be there
>tear wrapper of gift with my name
>thing i wanted
>i just open the whole thing and take it out while everyone is sleeping
>i do it every night and the night before christmas i break it
>ohshit.jpeg
>i just glue it on with elmer's glue
>put it back in it's place
>christmas morning
>i open my present
>the broken part falls off
>fuck
>my parents think my little brother did it
>see my parents give my little brother the fucking ass whooping of the century
>mfw
>>673911215
Holy....shit
Thats some fucking depressing stuff
I actually have something to share.
I always though this was a myth, only portrayed in hentai games and the like, but I think I just gave my gf an orgasm while she slept last night.
>laying with gf on couch
>gf is dead asleep and wearing a skirt
>we've done some minor touching before, but we haven't been going out long so it's been been only a couple times and kept it brief
>her skirt is kindof lifted up under covers from moving around, making out etc over the course of the night
>my fingers find their way between her legs and feel her warm underwear about where he entrance should be
>very damp, extra warm there, but I wouldn't say soaking wet
>taste fingers out of curiosity, sort of a sweet taste which is a relief
>a hint of honey is the best way I can describe it
>a few minutes pass
>fingers find their way to her mound
>begin rubbing softly over panties, not trying to wake her up, but don't really care if she does
>shift lower and find the trail through panties as my fingers find their way over the crest of her mound
>start rubbing up and down lengthwise, softly and slowly
>all of a sudden, I start hearing a pulsing noise down there as if someone was puckering and unpuckering their lips
>goes on for 5 seconds or so, around one time a second
>keep rubbing for a few more seconds
>begins again for a few more seconds again
>keep rubbing, doesn't happen again
>stop and shut my eyes
>trying to fall asleep
>a minute later she wakes up with what almost sounds like a scared gasp
>about made me jump up off the couch
The last time I gave her a little over the panties rubbing, I saw her panties on the bathroom floor the next day(by accident, I wasn't creeping, but just were sitting right to see it) and it looked like someone had squirted a whole bunch of sticky vaselline on the crotch area, so she must get pretty wet, and easily. The one time I put my finger under her panties them briefly I could feel a string or two of goop as I pulled my finger away slowly.
>>673916796
Bullshit ones I've counted so far:
6, 9, 10, 12, 16, ESPECIALLY 18
I stopped reading.
>>673917677
why is 6 bullshit?
>>673910044
You're fucking retarded. What are they going to do? Turn you in for bringing a knife when you're about to fuck a prostitute?
>Be me
>14 years old
>Getting drunk with 30 year old milf
>Toofuckedup.GIF
>Allows me to stay another night
>I end up getting it in finally
>Nomorevirginity.exe
>10:00 to 6:00 without breaks
>Lets me stay another night
>Fast Forward to now
>24 now and still haven't done any better
>>673918057
You win.
>>673908985
hahahahah this is my life when im not at work
>>673914253
what the fuck did i just read
>>673914253
amazen lol
>>673909239
I would share more but I'm on mobile and internet is shit
>I have 370 now
>>673918717
so pathetic
>>673918906
what the fuck anon
>>673916244
kek'd
Thanks anon
>>673910264
kys
>>673911891
fuck
>>673915223
Dawwww
HORSE IS A FGGT
NIGAA SUCK A DICK
>>673920216
>
te fut in cur
fagggooot
>>673920284
>be me
>diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer yesterday
>go home
>go on /b/
>no one knows yet
>>673920435
IT MEAN YOU SUCK A BIG BLACK SHEMALE COCK
>>673920718
trips fucker
>>673920540
Tits are GTFO. Then have new tits installed.
Good luck anon.
>>673920279
This story made me gay.
fuck
fck black sucker nigger
>>673921000
keked
haker
>>673921129
nimfa faggooott
te fut in cur
>>673909239
Let bird poop on her please
>>673921254
ALREADY POSTED NIGGUH
>>673916244
>>673916244
>>673921600
>>673916640
>>673912408
All of my keks
>>673913902
>>673914253
Basically all furries
>>673914253
Bravo.
>>673913863
FINALLY IM DONE.. Good story
>>673907002
>japanese image board
>>673915073
Fridgebro!
>>673924399
>yfw mootikins is now working on Google+ for Google.
>>673913902
>Loop zoop
Holy fucking shit I'm dying
>>673920279
So how are you?
>>673924766
That was a pretty proper reaction tho the spoiled brat. However, how did she end up as such a bitch? Maybe the mother?
>>673912956
Lost fucking hard.
>>673909555
That guy was given a wide open layup and not only missed, but managed to tear his ACL in the process
>>673920915
Top zoz.
>>673914536
Arriba España, hostia.
>be 3y/o me
>at family member's wedding
>the whole party is walking to a barn a couple miles from the church
>being 3 i get to ride on a tractor trailer
>need to pee-pee
>my parents are walking = not on the trailer
>too afraid to go pee-pee by myself, so this woman who have no relations to me what so ever joins me
>she was young and had little experience dealing with kids
>helps me pull down my trousers
>...
>I scream "you gotta hold it!"
>She apparently holds my wiener while I do my thing
>17 years pass by
>I hear the story for the first time. Apparently her and my entire family have been talking about the story behind my back since then
>>673927135
God damnit anon, why do I have to cry again after reading about the worlds greatest grandpa v~v
>>673911551
I want this to happen to me so bad. That would be so awesome.
We need more people like Zeus and Poseiden in this world
>>673912956
holy fuck
>>673928122
Related.
>>673914253
God fucking damn
