Greentext stories anyone ?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Greentext stories anyone ?
Dead thread
>>673905498
Moar
Bumping for interest
bump for the lulz yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (its summertime yay!)
>be me
>be middleschool
>meet grill
>clingy as fuck
>dumb as shit
>butterface
>wants me to be her bf so bad
>nowant.gif
>fast forward to now
>she is in the military
>i'm sitting here on a japanese image board still a virgin
>wonder if I should have hit it
>>673907002
yeah you should have
>>673907801
I probably should have at least made her a gf in retrospect so I wouldn't be so autistic turbovirginy as I am now. Such is life
>be me
>be virgin
>browse /b/
>>673908443
you and 99% of everybody else here. sage for moar stories
>>673908671
>smoke weed
>fap to porn threads
>play games
>fap to porn threads
>be me
>be last night
>see a thread about stories about peole getting away with anything unspecific.
>start typing my greentext story
>i try to explain how my high school schedule works since i am a leaf fag and we do shit wierd up here
>keep trying to decide how to fucking explain it
>ihavenocluewhatiamdoinghere.jpg
>get kinda pissed slammed my mouse
>accidentally hit the back button like an autismo
>fuckyounigger.gif
>throw mouse at my laptop screen
>,noteven that hard
>shatter screen
>screen is now perma 4chan
>wtfdididofuck.jgp
>mfw i can't use my laptop
>mfw i lost all my memes
>mfw i destroyed the only window to my outside world because i'm scared shitless to leave my house
i should end myself. currently on pops laptop.
Hand-picked. Choose whichever.
>>673908985
I don't smoke weed lmao like other tards
>>673909239
Autism pls
>>673909239
prostate_exams_haha please
>>673908143
my gf in high school mwas an ugly asian. atleast i got 14 year old poon when i was 14. broke up with her. banged one other chick 4 years ago. last time i had sex.
i feel i have too much privilege for 4chan
>be me, had a party last night (ecstasy, speed etc)
>dancing with a girl everything goes well
>just in the finish line after a few hours, her boyfriend cames over (didnt even know she has one)
>almost get rekt but my friends helped me out
>next day feeling extremly horny
>decide to go for a hooker
>searching pics looks good, arrives at the place
>fcking hell of an ugly gypsy woman with his pimp
>fat old ugly smells like dog shit but there is the pimp I cant say you dont look like on the pics
>I could only decrase the bussiness for a short blowjob
>hell of the worst fucking bj ever couldnt even reach a normal erect it was a mentally pain
> now hoping not getting aids or anything fuck my life I am almost crying it was like a rape
Most are old and well-known tho.
>>673909478
damn
>>673909470
pussy. it is easy to refuse a pimp. tell him his hoe is ugly and get the fuck outta there. done it before.
helps if you bring a gun
>>673909239
could you like upload these to mega or something?
>>673909786
it is not detroit dude, here i can go to jail even for a longer knife than 10 cm
>>673905498
>be me
>be 19
>take bunch of dogs painkillers
>wake up still numb
>vow to stop doing pills
>go to friends dorm to watc movie with her and her friends
>say "I'm going to behave tonight"
>8/10 hot blonde friend call her Amanda and 3/10 ogre (already my friends) are there
>other 8/10 blonde is there, let's call her "steph"
>steph drunk and wants D
>immediately get drunk to fuck her "ethically"
>she wants 3way with ogre and possibly 4way with other 8/10
Fuckyes.com
>go outside make out with 8/10s
>8/10s make out with each other
>go to eat ogre to be polite
Ohno.jpg
Tastes like an armpit and spoiled lunch meat
>Get my face out I their faster than a special operations medevac team
>stick dick in ogre and finger steph while she makes out with Amanda
>8/10 Amanda leaves because
"To many vaginas for one condom"
>Left with 8/10 steph and 3/10 ogre
8/10 steph sits on my face and fuck ogre
Fuck steph doggy style and try to get her to eat ogre
Call ogre armpit behind her back from now on
Muh archive
drive google com (SLASH) folderview (QUESTION MARK) id (EQUALS) 0B (UNDERSCORE) yEDN2T6KIGd2I0THlNNzhraFk (AND SYMBOL) usp (EQUALS) sharing
>Be me
>be 14
>visitng my dads ranch
>breeds german shepards
>alpha female always rubbing her twat on me and always following me
>barely starting to fill out due to puberty
>deluded mind thinks dog actually likes me
>like 15 people in this house makes ot hard to fap
>one day almost everyone.gors to birthday party
>"Lets not bring Anom cause hes weird"
>only old ass step-grandma in the house
>go outside
>dog starts doing the same thing
>tree shrouded part of the property like a thick ass forest
>rubs her ass.against my dick
>fuckinwhynot.gif
>pull my pants down elastic wastband pushing up my balls
>grab her around the waste
>put thumb slightly in her.pussy
>dog starts to struggle playfully a little bit
>totally submits and turns head and looks at me
>toohortoohornynofucksgiven
>slide barely.more than my head inside
>shes whimpering so much
>tight and warmer than anything ive ever experienced again
>a little bit of blood starts to come out of her
>shes breathing fast
>i got as close to balls deep as I can
>cum
>instant regreT
>dont tell anyone
>always loved playing with me anytime I came over
>suddenly couldnt be around any other aiblings or cousins amd over territorial over me
>actually put a gravemarker when she died
>>673910234
shitty story.
>>673910546
I just realized, this guy screencapped his own post? Thats kinda faggy.
>>673910546
Armpits vagina still haunts me to this day
>>673910393
damn dude
>>673910393
>>"Lets not bring Anon cause hes weird"
sounds like they made the right decision you fucking freak
>>673910546
best story ever
fucking autistic mlp
>>673911342
Not into bestiality
You came to the wrong neighborhood motherfucker
>>673911116
Yeah, maybe you should work on your storytelling.
>>673911546
>bestiality
>/b/
>wrong neighborhood
Then what is.
>pic semi-related
>be me
>finally going to interview for well paid job
>everything was superb well, unexpectedly
>itishabbening.jpeg
>she asks what i do in my free times
>erm... browsing 4chan
>what is 4chan??? takes a note and says she is going to check it
mfw
>>673910954
Yeah a bit, but think of the coincidence that was ocurring
>>673911861
literally why
>>673911861
>new job
>they say that IT actively monitors internet usage
>they will never be the same.
Already posted this before but I'll do it again
>be me
>be 3
>at friends birthday party
>examining unwrapped present
>little shit next to me yells in my face "don't touch the presents"
>ignore him
>examine other present
>again "don't touch the presents they're not yours"
>after third or fourth time I turn to him
>wrap hands around his throat and strangle him
>mom pulls me off of him
>laugh my ass off when told this story recently
>>673909239
Dead shark
>>673909182
people who live in mom's basement shouldn't throw mouses
>>673913071
Great choice.
>>673911891
The feels are real
Anyone have one about an anon that meets this girl named Baby? Girl takes a liking to this anon and possibly kills someone.
>>673909182
>throwing a fit because explaining things is hard
How autist can you get, damn.
>>673909425
are you me?
>>673909425
well, except the asian part
>>673913249
my sides have left this dimension
>>673913560
Oh fuck, this is pure gold.
>>673905498
Back in the day.
>>673910393
Fakeee
>>673913863
Anon you fuckin champ, thank you.
>>673909182
>needs screen to extract files
Turbonigger.
>>673912956
kek
>>673909555
amazing story with trips on top, checked
>>673912956
I was not prepared for this, my brain just segfaulted.
>>673906630
Fucking Kek
>>673914031
you're welcome
This shit had me commit suicide
>Friend posts on Facebook that he's going on road trip
>I post Caitlyn Jenner from southpark "buckle up buckaroo" clip as a comment.
>Go to work.
>Come home.
>go to bed.
>Wake up next morning to see a flood of angry comments.
>Tell everyone to stop being so sensitive, it's just a joke.
>Go to work.
>Come home with even more angry comments, and messages in my inbox.
>MFW I realize he ran someone over the night he posted that shit.
>MFW I didn't see that post of his pregnant wife in hospital with neck injuries.
>MFW his wife died in ER a few hours later.
Jesus Christ. This happened about 2 weeks ago.
I explained myself to everyone, including him, and there's no hard feelings.
But definitely still feel like an ass hole.
>>673912708
riiiiiiight
>>673911891
It's already a shitty rainy day out. Why give me this
>>673912956
Oh my god I haven't laughed like that in a while
>>673911551
Ye Gods that's glorious
Not really greentext but still some kek worth
>>673909239
wincest fail pls
>>673911891
That was fucking brutal dude
>>673909239
cubicle cow vs ricardo
that one is pure gold
>>673909239
grampa please
>>673905498
not a story but has some useful advice in it
>>673916454
It sure damn is.
>>673916705
You know, saying "there will be a school shooting tomorrow in [large area of USA]", you'de be right like 3 times out of 5.
>be 9 yr old me
>christmas week
>presents are already under the tree
>too impatient for christmas to be there
>tear wrapper of gift with my name
>thing i wanted
>i just open the whole thing and take it out while everyone is sleeping
>i do it every night and the night before christmas i break it
>ohshit.jpeg
>i just glue it on with elmer's glue
>put it back in it's place
>christmas morning
>i open my present
>the broken part falls off
>fuck
>my parents think my little brother did it
>see my parents give my little brother the fucking ass whooping of the century
>mfw
>>673911215
Holy....shit
Thats some fucking depressing stuff
I actually have something to share.
I always though this was a myth, only portrayed in hentai games and the like, but I think I just gave my gf an orgasm while she slept last night.
>laying with gf on couch
>gf is dead asleep and wearing a skirt
>we've done some minor touching before, but we haven't been going out long so it's been been only a couple times and kept it brief
>her skirt is kindof lifted up under covers from moving around, making out etc over the course of the night
>my fingers find their way between her legs and feel her warm underwear about where he entrance should be
>very damp, extra warm there, but I wouldn't say soaking wet
>taste fingers out of curiosity, sort of a sweet taste which is a relief
>a hint of honey is the best way I can describe it
>a few minutes pass
>fingers find their way to her mound
>begin rubbing softly over panties, not trying to wake her up, but don't really care if she does
>shift lower and find the trail through panties as my fingers find their way over the crest of her mound
>start rubbing up and down lengthwise, softly and slowly
>all of a sudden, I start hearing a pulsing noise down there as if someone was puckering and unpuckering their lips
>goes on for 5 seconds or so, around one time a second
>keep rubbing for a few more seconds
>begins again for a few more seconds again
>keep rubbing, doesn't happen again
>stop and shut my eyes
>trying to fall asleep
>a minute later she wakes up with what almost sounds like a scared gasp
>about made me jump up off the couch
The last time I gave her a little over the panties rubbing, I saw her panties on the bathroom floor the next day(by accident, I wasn't creeping, but just were sitting right to see it) and it looked like someone had squirted a whole bunch of sticky vaselline on the crotch area, so she must get pretty wet, and easily. The one time I put my finger under her panties them briefly I could feel a string or two of goop as I pulled my finger away slowly.
>>673916796
Bullshit ones I've counted so far:
6, 9, 10, 12, 16, ESPECIALLY 18
I stopped reading.
>>673917677
why is 6 bullshit?
>>673910044
You're fucking retarded. What are they going to do? Turn you in for bringing a knife when you're about to fuck a prostitute?
>Be me
>14 years old
>Getting drunk with 30 year old milf
>Toofuckedup.GIF
>Allows me to stay another night
>I end up getting it in finally
>Nomorevirginity.exe
>10:00 to 6:00 without breaks
>Lets me stay another night
>Fast Forward to now
>24 now and still haven't done any better
>>673918057
You win.
>>673908985
hahahahah this is my life when im not at work
>>673914253
what the fuck did i just read
>>673914253
amazen lol
>>673909239
I would share more but I'm on mobile and internet is shit
>I have 370 now
>>673918717
so pathetic
>>673918906
what the fuck anon
>>673916244
kek'd
Thanks anon
>>673910264
kys
>>673911891
fuck
>>673915223
Dawwww
HORSE IS A FGGT
NIGAA SUCK A DICK
>>673920216
>
te fut in cur
fagggooot
>be me
>diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer yesterday
>go home
>go on /b/
>no one knows yet
>>673920435
IT MEAN YOU SUCK A BIG BLACK SHEMALE COCK
>>673920718
trips fucker
>>673920540
Tits are GTFO. Then have new tits installed.
Good luck anon.
>>673920279
This story made me gay.
fuck
fck black sucker nigger
>>673921000
keked
haker
>>673921129
nimfa faggooott
te fut in cur
>>673909239
Let bird poop on her please
>>673921254
ALREADY POSTED NIGGUH
>>673916244
>>673916244
>>673921600
>>673912408
All of my keks
>>673914253
Basically all furries
>>673914253
Bravo.
>>673913863
FINALLY IM DONE.. Good story
>>673907002
>japanese image board
>>673915073
Fridgebro!
>>673924399
>yfw mootikins is now working on Google+ for Google.
>>673913902
>Loop zoop
Holy fucking shit I'm dying
>>673920279
So how are you?
>>673924766
That was a pretty proper reaction tho the spoiled brat. However, how did she end up as such a bitch? Maybe the mother?
>>673912956
Lost fucking hard.
>>673909555
That guy was given a wide open layup and not only missed, but managed to tear his ACL in the process
>>673920915
Top zoz.
>>673914536
Arriba España, hostia.
>be 3y/o me
>at family member's wedding
>the whole party is walking to a barn a couple miles from the church
>being 3 i get to ride on a tractor trailer
>need to pee-pee
>my parents are walking = not on the trailer
>too afraid to go pee-pee by myself, so this woman who have no relations to me what so ever joins me
>she was young and had little experience dealing with kids
>helps me pull down my trousers
>...
>I scream "you gotta hold it!"
>She apparently holds my wiener while I do my thing
>17 years pass by
>I hear the story for the first time. Apparently her and my entire family have been talking about the story behind my back since then
>>673927135
God damnit anon, why do I have to cry again after reading about the worlds greatest grandpa v~v
>>673911551
I want this to happen to me so bad. That would be so awesome.
We need more people like Zeus and Poseiden in this world
>>673912956
holy fuck
>>673928122
Related.
>>673914253
God fucking damn
