And what is your excuse to not have a girlfriend?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
And what is your excuse to not have a girlfriend?
I have 2 legs
>>673900701
>gf
>pic of a married guy
>>673900701
i have legs
>>673900701
i do have a wife and a child
My legs hurt so i cant go on a date
>>673900701
Full time med student....Also have a full time job :(
Cause i dont care
My dick is small
>>673900701
My bank account.
>>673900701
I've always hated having a gf and never want one again. Until I get another then I'll end up wondering why I did again
>>673900701
Bet you that guy is loaded. Bet you its family money too.
errybody knows bitches can't do shit other than SUCK DICK
>>673900701
>kissless virgin
>live with parents
>NEET
>no money
>no job
>no college
Litterly the thing that girls do not want there for no gf
no social skills, depression, anxiety and social anxiety
and im a pedo, but i still like girls my own age.
>>673900701
I'm an antisocial cunt
I can be with whatever girl I want because I have two totally fuctional legs so I don't need a woman who "supports" me
bitch wouldn't let me play Fallout4 so I dumped her and now I'm jacking it to Piper
>>673902355
How old are you/are you attractive/location?
>>673902442
how could you change it?
No money
No Job
No opportunities
Ugly
Fat
Over 10 years since I had a gf.
3 years since I had sex, that was with a prostitute.
If I could have anything, it would be the job and opportunities, to be honest.
>>673900701
They always get jealous of my wife.
>>673900701
I have face tattoos so the only girls that wanna actually have a relationship with me are trashy or objectify me. But it's cool cause I wanna fuck and die young
>>673900701
fuck off 9fag
>>673902589
21 going on 22/ I consider myself unattractive and throughout my school life i learned girls do not find me attractive so no on the attractiveness/ merica
Because these hoes don't understand that I like multiple hoes. Now if they would all agree to be my gf, then sure. Til then, fuck that, I like fucking these bitches, can't stick with just one. I like Butterfingers but sometimes I want the others candy bars too.
>>673903881
Don't make too much of a big deal about it in your head. I've found out that I prefer to not be in any sort of relationship and to be honest even avoid hook ups because I just like going home to be alone. Girls find me attractive but to be honest you aren't missing out tooo much even if people act otherwise. Same age btw
I am attractive, fit, wealthy and educated. But I am a virgin. Why, you ask? Because I have a shrunken conjoined twin growing out of my barse. He is really rude and combative and if I ever get anywhere with a girl, he abuses and insults her until she leaves.
>>673904155
Yeah but butterfingers are gross
All girls I meet are either fugly or taken, there's no operational field for me.
>>673904155
I'm going to have to agree with him
>>673904510
On the butterfingers thing
If your "bitches" are anything like butterfingers you're doing it wrong
Now, a bueno bar kind of girl is something we can all agree on
>>673904843
I don't know wtf that is. I like twix
Because I don't want to support your mom. I'll leave that to your dad while I do the fuckin. #swag
>>673902442
Exactly this. You can be rich, fit, handsome, witty, so on and so forth but if you are antisocial then your chances for getting a bitch are close to none. Been there, done that.
>>673904636
If i want to put my pork dagger into a girls hamwallet (ones with boyfriends already)
I shit talk to boyfriend like a beta would until she realizes she should dump him.
You know, make fake fb accs and pretend to be some slut and message her saying you banged ger bf etc
Stuff like that
They come around eventually
>>673905016
>Twix
Shitty wafer stick with salty caramel covered in dollarstore tier chocolate
Gtfo
Currently on a "break" from a 7 year relationship. So, pretty much single as of recent. Not sure how to feel right now.
>>673905351
Salty? I don't like salty chocolate
I'm an ugly disabled neckbeard. Unless that becomes sexy I'm fucked.
>>673905372
Cry bout it muchacho
I'd rather fuck yours
>>673901780
same here
Also /b/
>>673905485
what about salty ass?
>>673905766
I don't know what that means
>>673901330
but no girlfriend on the side? beta faggot
>>673901891
I know right. I spend most of my teenage years craving a relationship and absolutely hated it when I had one.
Girls are stupid. Unless you fuck all the time the sex isnt enough to make up for it
>>673905351
Yeah get him
>>673900701
Im black but not a gangsta nigga so even the fat whales dont want me
>>673905558
hahaha
>>673901749
that's a shitty excuse didn't stop me from fucking my GF 5 times on the first date.
I take things nice and slow and currently talking to my very first and very last girlfriend again. She's so fucking beautiful and we are really hitting things off. We're going on another date soon and I'm so fucking excited.
>>673900701
Because Im married.
Would love to have a bitch on the side
>>673905903
sucks when your own chicks only dig the gangsta idiots and the white chicks hate you because youre not white.
Maybe play on the big dick myth for a few quickies
I do have one tho
had one and a boyfriend at the same time, didn't need two financial leeches on me so i kept the one who wasnt a fucking bitch and just mean, the guys just a bro that likes to jerk off and suck cock while listening ti heavy metal and playing games, plus he respects me and i wont get in as nearly much trouble for beating a guy to near death
>>673901927
Story:
Engaged soldier. And his fiance
He goes off to Afghanistan or iraw i dunno
He gets shot and is paralyzed.
They got married and he got suprised with this.
They have a kid as of last year if I rememvee the article right
>>673906075
Oh boy. A fucking romantic
>>673905880
EVEN IF you fuck all the time it's not worth it. We did weird ass shit and i still prefer being alone
>>673900701
Because i'm hideously ugly, morbidly obese, short, bad skin, bad hair and i'm apparently just unpleasant to be around.
>>673906075
Hah gay
>>673906312
I hate girls who make their ponytails so straight it looks like they have hairloss.
Actually, they WILL have hairloss after doing that for a few years. Source: look at all the pleb chicks in the subway
>>673904435
Thanks family guy. Fucking faggot.
socially disabled even though im ~7/10
also virgin
>>673906351
>>673906075
I might be gay but pussy romance anons a fucking faggot
>>673906440
Your matt damon level is higher than mine then.
Even though sex isn't nearly as great as people make it out to be (it's great for like 10 times and then averages to "just about as good as other fun stuff") it makes up for *some* bitching.
>>673900701
I don't want
>>673907116
Whats a matt Damon level
>>673900701
Most women are degenerate scum.
>>673907116
I used to tell my friends i couldnt hangiut and my gf I couldn't have sex cause I was at work but I was actually in the shed listening to hank 3 and getting stoned.
>>673906770
I've never watched Family Guy. Don't assume everyone likes it just because it's your favourite program, you mouth-breather.
Cheating isn't my thing, so I just fuck around no point in being in a relationship
test
I've tried, failed and given up.
>>673908126
Mic check 1 2 1 2 check check
>>673900701
I already have a boyfriend and I prefer monogamy.
[spoiler]she broke up with me 2 months ago and i feel like i will never meet someone like her and i will be alone for the rest of my life [/spoiler]
>>673907528
it was a martian reference. Being alone
I fucked your mother in the butt
While we were eating Pizza Hut.
because im 26 and still live with my mom
>>673908679
What
>>673908472
Cry bout it mijo
>>673908991
trust me,i already am
>>673909156
relajan las mujeres bro son homosexuales
>>673909156
She probably had dirty chonies 2
>>673900701
>implying I need one
>>673909156
dont be a faggot go try a dick
>>673909633
>implying implied implemented implementation impossible
>>673909817
Underwear you nigger
Excuse?? As if I need one. What about you fuck tard, what's your excuse for having one???
I look like a magician
had one (1.1 years) broke up with me yesterday... via text.
I'm ugly.
Have a social anxiety when it comes to talking to girls.
I'm not smart or intelligent.
I have no worthwhile hobbies.
I'm an antisocial ass, also my face is shaved better than the sexiest smooth pussies, so bitched are jealous as fuuck
Had a fat drunk chick a couple days back when I was off work, man that sex sucked, usually I impaled my not-thin ex, but this had so much blubber that sweaty pussy made me invent a religion just so I could pray to be gay
>>673910316
kek'd
>>673900701
/I'm gay
>>673910064
ah women, who needs em, try a dick
>>673900701
No thanks.
This like most of these feel good story's does not have a happy ending.
That is Joey Johnson and Michelle from 2014.
Joey had PTSD and road bikes to relieve stress.
Just before the wedding crashed and got himself paralyzed.
Already divorced, Michelle went back to riding the cock carousel, and Joey ate a bullet in January.
>>673904364
Just don't fool yourself into thinking that you actually "like" a shitty situation just because it becomes all you know or expect.
I went through nearly 5 years of isolation; I had to work a job (in my early 20s) but it was a quiet job where I didn't have many interactions, and as soon as my work was done I'd go home and be alone, day in day out, week after week, year after year, never went out on weekends just stayed home playing video games and watching netflix/movies and to be honest I never consciously felt depressed or lonely, I was the same as you in that I would tell myself (and anyone that asked about my situation) that I was perfectly content and just liked my situation the way it was; but eventually I realized I had just sort of faded into that situation and my brain fooled itself into accepting how dire things really were. Once I started making an effort, which was extremely difficult for the first month or two, I re-entered the world and felt so much regret for the years I essentially lost. Now I'm finally functional again, in a relationship with a great girl, actually go out on weekends with friends, and generally try to be more productive, more adventuring on the weekends, more outdoor hobbies, more traveling, just trying to soak it all in and feel like I'm really living.
>>673900701
Internship - 40 hrs/wk
Job - 25 hrs/wk
College classes - 5 hrs/wk
Waaay too busy/broke for a relationship right now.
We broke up yesterday
>>673901615
Faggot. Prolly been in pre med for 5 years. Let me guess your name is Brenton Craggs form MSU.
I do
>>673910842
Too long didn't read
Gues she's into Bondage
>>673911184
Yes it's me ol craggy who are you
>>673910842
Wow you must be in love true love woo faggot. You were probably way cooler b4
Too uncomfortable with intimacy. I dont really even like when people touch me. Im trying to get over it with an escort but im scared lol. Some girl asked me out like 2 months ago but didnt really get anywhere because of it.
If you usually shit post on /b/, browse 4chan in general and have a half empty cup view on things, then you will never have a girlfriend.
>>673910795
might as well, i should be use to it considering how hard i got fucked over.
im a philosopher
>>673911677
Shaw Mccowan. We used to work at wings over East Lansing and took turns farting on the chicken wings. One time you stubbed your toe and you had to call in sick because you were in so much pain.
I want to be the gf
>>673900701
My wife seems opposed to the idea.
Vote here!!
http://strawpoll.me/7082807
>>673900701
Borderline Personality Disorder. I am really, really afraid of being ejected and getting hurt emotionally. The fact that I studied mech. engineering didn't help either. Real sausage fest. Well at least I got my degree.
Aside from that: 6'5" and blonde.
>>673912078
SUPER GAY
>>673900701
Obesity
>>673900701
im poor, fat and ugly
>>673900701
I have one faggot, her name is right hand.
>>673900701
'Cause I can't read social cues and I'm terrible at making small talk with anyone I haven't already known for years.
I don't want a "girlfriend". I want a "girlbestfriend".
Got dumped yesterday :p
>>673910842
You described my life spot on. Same type of job interests. I'm three years in this type of non-productive life.
At least before I spoke to some work friends over videogames but now I spend my time without games only with weed because I get to paronoid to speak to any people I have to deal with in real life.
P.S been thinking of selling all my computer and such just to force myself into the real world again. D.S
>>673906075
>talking to
>already planned their entire life together
>faggot
>>673912455
U-u-u-u two
>>673913316
you're not alone, friend. same shit happened yesterday as well, hopefully yours wasnt over text
>>673911994
thats the spirit, guys arent fucking bastards like women can be, i think ive given up on women for a while at least, men dont burst into tears crying when you say bye six times instead of the normal seven
>>673912805
wow what a faggot
>>673913463
aint nothing wrong with being gay just dont be a faggot mr. twink boy
>>673912399
KIK?
>>673905644
he shoulda lost that fight . fuckin mcgregor takin a shitty shot at the end instead of putting his hands up. seemed fixed when i watched it.
>>673906075
Feel the Beta
>>673913505
It was! Thank you man
>>673900701
I want money
Fat, lazy, and I typically have a dour demeanor along with a standoffish and shy personality.
But I have my hands...
>cries because it's not the same
>>673913979
He?
>>673913630
yeah, i think im just going to focus on myself for a while. and if someone gets thrown in my path while doing so, then okay it doesnt hurt to try again. on the bright side i'll have a loaded wallet once more.
and im not sure, maybe it hasn't hit me yet. the only way i'd probably feel truly heartbroken is if i see her move on, which is why i dont want anything to do with her. unfortunately my mind wanders.
>>673914242
>>673913505
likr ive been saying this whole thread l, try dick, its not as unpleasant as youd think, just dont be a faggot about it
>>673914242
goddamn. im sorry to hear that dude.
the funny thing about mine, is that she swore she'd never do that to me, and even protested when it happened to people we know saying "thats so messed up, i could never do that."
kek
>>673912399
Go to Laos, Vietnam or Thailand.
They love tall blonde white guys. Trust me.
Since you are educated you could get yourself a fine ass Japanese broad as well.
>>673913910
Stop opressing me
>>673914420
Yes, I'm male.
How do you cope with borderline?
I'm bpd diagnosed too.
>>673914426
>>673914426
its worse to hope they wont move on, hope destroys you when you find out the truth, i should know it happened to me, qnd sur i was in a polygamous relationship but this was different, she was hiding it from me abd broke up with me over a text when i was out of statw, she said shit that made me feel less of a person and thats bullshit when i helped her in everyway i could, women can ruin your life if you arent careful
>>673915028
>How do you cope with borderline?
What helped me most was medication. Evened out the moods swings and aggression. I'm also past 30 now. It often gets better then.
>>673900701
Had it for two years, she also was my first girlfriend, but then things started getting uncomfortable.
nevertheless I still go full autistic mode when trying to seriously approach someone
>>673904155
You fucking nigger.
>>673914911
boy stop acting like a faggot and go suck dick like a proud gay man
I go out with a new chick about once a week.
I haven't met someone I actually enjoyed enough to see a second time in a while, and I'm not desperate enough to settle for someone I'm not truly interested in mentally and physically.
So that's why I'm single.
>>673915558
But I am not gay
>>673915558 then fuck vaginas like a proud straight man you are free to do what you want just dont be a faggot about it
>>673900701
Don't really want one. Even if I wanted one badly, I'd have to wait until I get a job and maybe my own place. Relationships are overated. I just want to focus on getting money
>>673900701
No excuse, I have a gf and a wife.
>>673915444
They've tried dipiperon, seroquel, zyprexa, zoloft, lithium, effexor, vyvanse etc.
What medication do you have to take?
>>673915372
bro, that sucks so bad. but i completely agree. and, this is my first serious relationship, im 18 and so i know it isnt my last relationship. but i've learned a few things from this, one important thing: never make a girl the center of your universe. especially in my case since our relationship wouldn't have made the cut anyways due to me moving off to college and her staying back.
>>673915853
>>673915639
meant to post this to that
>>673916057
that kind of break ups understandable but did you two talk about it or did she just drop it on you and walked off
>>673915853
But I am not a man
>>673902355
>kissless virgin
no
>live with parents
yes
>NEET
yes
>no money
yes
>no job
yes
>no college
yes
I'm 5/6 of those things and I have a gf
[spoiler] till she leaves me [/spoiler]
>>673916397
then do what you want jeez, suck a dick like a proud straight woman or go scissor or be asexual or fuck trannies im not your boss everyones free to love everything just dont be a faggot you crazy bitch i hope life turns out perfectly and you die of old age with your partner(s) you twat
>>673916330
well, it kind of happened over the weekend. it went like this
- i say some shit like "you're mine forever"
- she dodges it and says "yes, you're mine. for now anyways"
after that i didnt talk to her much, next day comes and she breaks it off with me over kik talking about how shes emotionally stressed and such. and doesnt think she can handle anymore, i just said "i understand"
>>673916055
>What medication do you have to take?
Nearly all anti-depressents available.
What helped me most was Clomipramin, Bupropion and Venlafxin.
>They've tried dipiperon, seroquel, zyprexa, zoloft, lithium, effexor, vyvanse etc.
Neuroleptics didn't help at all with me.
>>673916738
Kek
>>673907858
Ha. Are you me?
I always choose hoes at parties :/
>>673916738
You're the most inspiring, free thinking dickhead ever. I appreciate you, you fucking asshole.
>>673916886
fuck me man, and I thought I had it bad
hang in there bro
>>673916738
I am not Woman either
We made out n I sucked her tits. She then didnt text me for five days even tho we had plans on Friday. Tfw I got another number the next day tho.
>Pic related
>>673916886
Thank you anon. Hope you get well!
>>673916878
thats fucking rough man, i understand your pain i hope you, and the rest of you nonfaggot straight/gay/asexual/whatevers, find someone who can appreciate you but taking time off to be with yourself can help alot too, spend a while woth yourself and think of the kinda people you wamt to want you, maybe youve a friend youve never considered or a coworker, hell hit up some women at a bar, go to a carnival and ride the terrifying rides put together by three finger mike and jimmy no eyes, just dont be a faggot about it
tfw broke up
>>673900701
i have a boyfriend.
>>673917240
listen here you little shit. GO. BE. FREE. NOW FUCK OFF I GOT DICKS TO SUCK
>>673900701
jobless, no beard, ugly, no money, no future, 27 years old, living with the parents, really dont care at all.
>>673917603
haha, yeah man i feel ya. I aint all that worried. you've made me feel better, im just looking forward to graduating this semester so i can finally move onto college and check out whats to offer.
I'm a misogynist
No interest in meeting new people, no greater drive of "I NEED TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!" - or boyfriend.
>>673917073
i love people like you who see past the insults and understand im just a fucking asshole who wants wabts everyone to be them
>>673917906
Rip dude ur fucked
>>673917906
hello beardless me from the future.
I dont feel like a human being. I feel like some kind of alien space probe just here to observe. Im afraid of having to look at myself and my life as just a fucked up person.
Ive done things.
>>673917906
but you still got a functional lower half of your body right? so only your pathetic self stands in your way
>>673900701
I'm a literal faggot.
im fat and i dont go outside often.
>>673917958
thats all i wanna do just make people happy, college is good, i didnt go but its a good thing just try and figure out what you want to do in life, dont let anyone hold you back, and have a backup plan
>>673917958
well, i got 2 years of core classes before making a solid plan on knowing what i want to do. backup plan: become a male stripper, i hear they make good money. or the next el chapo
>18
>kisless virgin
>no money
I'm not hot either, around 1.78cm, 60kg and i look really skinny, also i'm disgusted by all those slutty bitches that get wasted every weekend, not saying i wouldn't fuck them but you know what i have no respect for them so i wouldn't date
Cause i'm 15 and on /b/
also absolutely no fucking reaon to have a girlfriend right now
>>673918308
You always have rosie palms and her five sisters. Maybe switch it up with the mild next-door get kinky with her and her quintuplets
>>673918601
Underage b& lol
>>673918613
Milf*
>>673918569
man my best friend wsd a male stripper paying his way through nursing school, he said it wsd the most degrading thing he ever did and he took a tong of nutshots from the drunk pieve of dhit hags in the audience
>>673918598
nether sex nor dating was an option so your imagination on these things are wasted
>>673900701
he has to be lifted around with that harness because his cock is too big to walk around. That's why she loves him
women only care about money and big cocks. you could be a coma patient with a big dick that stays hard all the time and some whore would marry you.
I have nothing to offer a woman, so they don't bother with me
>>673918126
dont be a faggot theres always worse people out there stop acting like sn eith grader and if you are one just weather this shit out youll be fine and look bavk ok yourself like"mam i was a faggot bavk then"
>>673919121
Seems like you never met a woman that's a person.
>>673918252
WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT BEING A FAGGOT, stop beibg a faggot and go suck cocks like a proud gay man
>>673900701
Don't need that stress in my life. Quite happy being by myself.
>>673918008
If I met you irl, we'd be friends
>>673918598
was just the same at this age and I loaded schoolgirls every week, plus I'm hairy like a soviet officer so that's no excuse, you propably just got head up your own backside so deep you make out with yourself from the inside
>>673918820
oh man, that doesn't sound too enticing. luckily i've got a long ways before ever considering anything so...tough
>>673919738
well there have been quite few girls in highschool that wanted to be with me and shit but literally all of them were dumb as fuck, religious or some other shit so i rejected them all.
>9gag
Girls I like (and those are really rare) don't like me and I don't like girls that do like me.
Also, I am for too long single and have lost the desire to change that.
>>673902401
Underage and b&
>>673919989
man you fucked up
sides you gotta look past your dick too, they're not all dumb, just naive. theres a difference. also religious chicks are best, all that indoctrination tames their inner beast and then when it unchains they walk you through heaven, hell and fucking purgatory. don't be a bitch. best chick I ever had was a hot catholic one class under me, her dad raped her and she was disgusted by sex and it all, but then when we sat at the pub alone she opened up and we talked for five hours and then went all horny honey badgers on each other on the way back to the dorm
don't fuck up your own chances and don't be a bitch
>>673920622
im 25 you dick
I'm ugly and broke
I don't need some girl constantly asking for sex while I'm studying, I'm rereading my copy of The God Delusion and I'm far too busy to have one.
>>673920695
that's the point, i don't really have need to fuck some random chicks, i would really want to find a real girlfriend but the girls i want don't want me.
99% of them only go for perfect bodies and money and that 1% has a boyfriend or i didn't met them.
>>673919655
im a very likable fucking asshole to people who can taje the occasional joke and or swing to the face cuz sometimes fighting among friends is fun, i remember on graduation day, my best friend ever fractured my orbital socket and burst the blood vessels in my face cuz we were playing he got jinxed and got pissed cuz i kept punching him in the same spot so he went for my arm but i tried to duck out of the way and caught me in the face, we laughed for the whole graduation and i went on stage bleeding while laughing at the principals expression
>>673921013
wasnt talking random bro, she was a friend, nice person behind all those physical qualities
and that bodies and money means fuck all, yeah they like shiny stuff, but if youre not an asshole they'll notice.
buying a silver necklace for half my fucking paycheck just got me a shitty blowjob, plus I'm still just skin, bone and hair, have been since fifth grade and it works if you're somewhere between the narcis-dickhead and tell-me-your-feelings type I guess
bro, it's not all as bad as it looks, from what I read from you you need to look at yourself in a different way, you see yourself ugly but you're propably just being a self absorbed isolated asshole
>>673901627
/thread
>>673900701
Because im gay
I don't talk to girls!!
>>673922450
you are either 12 or a faggot im hopinh its twelve cuz thats essier to overcome thsn being a faggot
>>673922450
Your more of a faggot than me
>>673901615
>>673900701
I work long days, and my hangover isn't worth one night of drinking.
I dunno.
I been rejected before not the end of the world. Bought a sex doll I'm good
>>673917451
>We made out n I sucked her tits
Why couldn't you just stop there?
>>673923339
dont give up faggot just dont think you are a golden god try lowering your standards to readonBle terms
>>673900701
Because I'm ugly.
> Pic related.
Cause girlfriend has evolved into wife!
Learned new abilities:
Badger
Birthday Blowjob
>>673924051
you arent bad looking m80
someone post cock pics
>>673924051
I'd let you do things to my butthole if i was gay
>>673924051
could be worse, you look like a nice guy
>>673924310
But not so good to counter balance my social anxiety.
>>673924947
That's the point, I'm harrassed by gay people but could not date women.
>>673924051
You look like a dude that's always chill, a chill covering a hatred built through decades, and one day? One day you gonna snap, and that day you gonna rip some poor homeless dude's head of.
And stomp it.
Maybe throw at cats or some kids.
>>673905880
Totally agree. I pick up a girl, anything 5 and up. Fuck her until she wants a relationship and then move on. Modern cunts aren't worth the stress and heartache.
>>673925294
have you tried cock?
>>673924051
You look too old to be browsing b/
I dont have a sob story like that guy.
>>673914095
Don't make shit up man, McGregor lost fair and square. He took a solid punch to the button earlier on that threw him right off his fucking rocker for the rest of the fight. It doesn't mean he can't come back and win. I think he will eventually.
>>673925631
Yes. Not my thing.
>>673925529
I've a nice pussy.
>>673926735
10/10 pussy.
