Fucked up shit you've done and sorta feel bad about.
I'll start.
>Be me, 14 year old on Steam, Counter Strike Source, GMod, etc.
>Meet this kid from Germany in a game, he takes a massive liking to me
>German kid messages me literally daily, about everything. He'd ask me to help him with English homework, relationship advice, etc.
>I'm coping until he mentions he wants to come to USA and visit me..
>Thats the last straw for me, so one day I say "Hey I'm Anon's best friend and he just passed away from a long battle with Leukemia"
>German bro is literally devastated, he tells me he's crying.
>He offers me his second steam account (he thinks he's talking to my friend) to keep in contact
>End up blocking him on steam.
source on pic?
who's that faggot
>>673731290
Riff Raff nigguh
ICEBERG SIMPSON
>>673730042
What was that Nazis steam name? I might want to use him like that too
you were probably his only friend tho
>>673730042
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyw9J6NuFSM
>>673730042
>runescape 2005/6
>multiple accounts
>tell friends we can share account
>name account pudgenugget
>he ends up leveling pudgenugget up to like level 90
>gets him rune and a bunch of cash
>move all items over to my mule
>"oh no! Pudgenugget was hacked!"
>change account password
>pretend to accuse him of being the hacker
>never let him on pudgenugget again.
>>673731649
>you were probably his only friend tho
I know bro, I feel shitty. Actually took German for 5 years after that, not sure if related or not.
>>673731290
Da Neon Icon
>>673731485
SO U HAD TO BE THE MAN
>>673731902
oh and friends name was kyle
changed password to kykyyouletmedown and then told him about it.
let him amass new wealth and get rune
then did the same thing again then never let him on it again.
>>673731945
Whats his steam
>>673731950
Jodie Highrolla
>used to try to get friend to be sexual with me
>got drunk one time
>brought up the fact that I always tried to be sexual with him
>blocked him on facebook
>still cringe about it sometimes.
>messaged girl about sex
>told myself never again because in serious relationship
>couple months later message her
>you shold come over I'll pay for cab
>she says I thought you were broke
>so I say I just got a visa card
>she agrees but I never answer her
>she messages me a week later but I don't answer her
>she ends up telling her friends we had sex and my girlfriend hears about it.
>she shows girlfriend messages about visa card
>still cringe at the thought of the visa card messages because it's so pathetic
>be e-whoring and griefing minecraft at the time
>be-friended kid 8th grade or something
>ltl fgt skypes me daily
>let him test my shitty coded client
>really just a skid
>kid thinks im pro hacker
>tell him about ewhoring and sending viruses
>cpl weeks go by
>ask him if i can test a virus on him to see if it works
>takes awhile but he finally gives in
>got all his act passwords and his paypal
>look at his email, hes buying steroids at 13
>his paypal act has about 700$ because his dads bank is linked to it
>never touched his money
>still wonder what hes doing today
>>673732763
>Having a gf
>having a chick wanting to fuck you
Where did I go wrong in life. Like I know I am solid 8/10 short white straight male yet I cant get a gf wtf is that?
>had a best friend and we became fuck buddies
>stop talking
>start a relationship
>start talking to best friend again
>drive 8 hours to pick her up one night
>we have sex all night
>we decide she's my mistress
>hang out a couple more times
>now she went moralfag and brings up the fact that I'm unfaithful
> be me
> 14
> smoking weed with some random kids that I just met
> second or third time smoking
> highasfuck.jpg
>we go to one of the kids houses
> huge party but only the kids family
>little kids outside playin with chalk or some shit
>we go to the corner and smoke more
> even more high
> so high I hear cop sirens in my head
> runlikefuck.jpg
> run past litte kids playing outside
> when my leg swings back I "accidentally" kick the fuck out of some kids face
> kid strts screaming and crying like a little fag
> I start laughing my ass off
> no one saw
> went home and went to sleep
>>673733124
In grade 11 I became very attractive and outgoing. I met a lot of girls and planted some seeds of love. Then I met my current gf. We started dating when I was in the 12th grade. It's been 4 years now. Other girls from highschool still remember how I was and I've gotten laid a few times on the side because of it.
For instance before dating my girlfriend I had 2 sexual partners.
Now including my girlfriend I've had 7.
So, I guess it's about being a manwhore and just putting your seeds in various baskets and not really giving a fuck if a plant grows or not.
there's my advice and it's kinda cringe.
>>673732794
Wtf you didnt even take the money? Why do you feel bad pussy
>be playing on a pub on tf2
>random guy with arabic name comes in
>he plays medic
>just sticks to me all the time because i have an unusual
>adds me after a while
>Barely able to understand english,but ok.
>every game we play,he pockets me
>he knows how 2 medic.
>get really pissed off at him one day because he's constantly messaging me
>tell him to go blow up himself because he's an annoying fuck
>he left me a message on my profile saying he's sorry
>Last online: 17 days ago
I miss my medic.
>>673732253
ahh why? I don't want youse guys to terrorize the poor kid
>>673733604
Lol 7 people is not even a lot pussy I fucked 7 girls by the time I was 17
>>673733737
oh fuck :(
>>673733961
says the virgin betafag without any life.
>>673734116
kek'd/10
>>673734148
Haha do you really think 7 is a lot
>first year of college
>girlfriend and met go to home town fair
>we get in a fight
>I leave and find girl that always had a crush on me
>she keeps saying how into me she was, but she has a boyfriend
>I stare at her
>people who are friends with my girlfriend are around so no react
>hey can we talk somewhere privately
>theres a shadey side of a barn
>we go over to it and I ask her to continue
>she starts talking
>she gets two words out and I press into her and start making out with her
>I pull back and she smiles
>we keep making out
>letsgetoutofhere.jpeg
>we take a cab, I make her pay
>let'sgotomcdonalds.jpeg
>I plan on making her pay
>get there look inside and my gf and all of her friends are there
>FUCK
>start running away
>get a block away and hear
>HEY
>look back and its them
>run behind a building
>gf follows me upset
>it's over you and your new whore can go die
>she leaves
>go and sit down next to girl
>awkward silence.
>don't even look at her
>want to go to my place?
>"yes."
>call a cab and go to my house.
>fuck for 7 hours straight, cucking her boyfriend.
>take a train home the next day
>go to res room
>sleep with girl down the hall for the next week
>mfw I got back together with my gf the day after the fair and she still thinks that she is my only screw
>gaiafag back in high school, 2004/5
>gaiafag kid i didn't like from school was visiting family over Christmas break
>gave me his password to get him Christmas shit while he's gone
>send all his shit to random people and get him banned
>he makes a new account and uses the same password
>retard.jpg
>I do it again
>>673734288
Are we talking 7-year-olds here, or 7 pussies?
>>673734388
7 pussies you litte fagtard
>>673734566
bro, seven is fine with me, since I've been dating my gf since I was 17 and before that I only had two kills, I'd say I did pretty well for myself. Lost my virginity at 14.
Not trying to be edgy, but I can't even say what I've done. I wish I could tell someone, but I know it would ruin my life. I will have to wait until death.
>>673734566
Like, cats? Anon's dick is small enough to fuck a cat, I assume.
>>673734705
most of my stories are cheating stories. Got caught so many times that I can't do it anymore. Ended up packing on pounds now as if to just prevent it. I'm a mess.
>>673734705
>I can't even say what I've done.
You're on fucking /b/, faggot
>mfw all cheating greentexts in this thread are me.
>so pathetic
>>673734705
Just say it pussy get it off ur chest
>>673734843
>Got caught so many times that I can't do it anymore.
Is that the only reason you don't cheat? That's fucking sick, Anon.
This was me
Not even kidding
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RSR_LBxhlA
>>673734986
>cheating
It really is, you piece of horse shit
>>673734877
>>673734998
I'm on a college wifi, I can't risk being expelled and possibly sent to prison for the rest of my life.
FeelsBadMan
>>673734288
No i don't, but I think 2 is a lot for half of the fags posting on 4chan.
>>673734680
I guess but around where I live thats not a lot
>>673735247
tether to your phone's network
>>673735029
aha yes it is. I actually went to a bar once and got the waitresses number, she lived two hours away. When I got back home I messaged her pretending Iived in her town. She asked when we could meet up and I chose the weekend my girlfriend was going away. drove up there and fucked her all weekend at her flat then drove home. I arrived home half an hour before my girlfriend. Had just enough time to shower.
I miss it. I miss fucking girls all night. The chase. The kill.
>>673735247
Its anonymous retard
>>673735333
I don't have a smart phone, too paranoid. I have a 5$ walmart Tracphone
>>673735107
I know. You don't have to tell me. I know it's pathetic.
>Banging random fatties on POF
>Meet 18 year old virgin 6/10 butterface chub
>Pop dat cherry, she in love
>Keep her on the D once a week while banging other girls
>Lose my job, feel like being NEET for awhile and just vidya allday erryday
>Make her my GF and move in with her after I lose my place because I can't pay rent
>Spend 6 months doing nothing but vidya
>Still occasionally banging sluts
>She cooks, cleans, and work a decent job 50 hours a week
>Start forcing her to do more and more kinky stuff, bdsm, domination and degrade her more and more
>She isn't into any of it but I tell her I will leave her unless she does it
>One day she is using my phone and a text pops up with a nude from one of my booty calls
>Get in a fight about me cheating, threaten to leave her or make it an open relationship
>She eventually agrees, now I can openly bang fatties
>Tell her she is having a threesome with me or its over
>End up getting two regular threesome partners
>Let the new girls use her like I do
>Eventually one of them just comes over to fuck me almost every day and I stop having sex with her all together
>Got a job and moved out while she was at work
>Still messages me three years later to get back together
>be me, 16 y/o, 5'11", 172 lbs
>hate body
>decide to starve
>lose ~50 lbs in one school year
>feel like shit all the time
>haven't masturbated in 2 months
>cum is yellow
>get sick, pass out in parents' room
>get taken to the hospital
>gain 20 lbs in the following 4 months
>at a healthy weight, 140 lbs
>weigh yourself this morning
>fucking 132 lbs
>>673735543
>>673735347
>>673735294
>>673735107
>>673735029
>>673734346
>>673733215
>>673732763
Last story I guess
>dating current gf
>college roomate tells me theres no way I could get a girl at our college
>okay I'll bet you
>deal is first to kiss her wins
>neither of us have ever talked to her
>in cafeteria
>see her at pizzapizza
>get in lineup behind her
>order the same thing as her
>sit near her
>look at her and make eye contact
>squint a little
>"hey aren't you in my chemistry class?"
>"haha no I don't think so"
>"oh.. you look so familiar."
>"you do too."
>get up and sit next to her
>"my names anon btw"
>"anonette"
>"hey me and my friends are throwing a party tonight if you'd like to join us"
>"sure I'll bring some friends"
>what followed was basically both of us trying to get her to like us
>I played the laid back approach and mostly talked to her friends
>nearing the end of the night she came up to me
>I said "there's something I've been meanign to do all night"
>she said what?
>I grabbed her and started making out with her
>she was so into it
>I basically threw her asside and pointed at my friend
>PAY UP MOTHERFUCKER!
>>673733124
solid 8/10? show pic u fag
>>673736243
kek'd
>>673735104
That's fucking awesome.
>>673735666
I did this too.
Went from 220 pounds to 160 pounds in 4 months or something. Still not perfect but I was definitely considered attractive at that point.
Alright I'll go
>16
>fucking around with bros in English
>right about to break out some gum
>"dude can I have some"
>every
>fucking
>time
>give bro one, and like the dumbass he is, drops it on the floor
>solid 5 Mississippi floor gum
>popular chick OBSSESED with horses in front of us asks for a piece a few minutes later
>thought it'd be funny at first, and give her the +5 floor gum
>bro: "lol that fell on the floor Sarah"
>"..what?"
>I giggle out "yeah man it like slid pretty far too"
>she gets extremely pissed, and starts bitching like "THIS HAD BETTER NOT HSVE BEEN ON THE FLOOR ILL SERIOUSLY PUNCH YOU"
>panic
>honest side of me is like "fuck what do I do"
>"fine it wasn't on the floor Sarah"
>pipe out a "yeah"
>pissy at me for the rest of class till I give her a few fries (she fucking love McDonald's too)
Is it just me or has like every girl I've known with the name Sarah been some form of bitch? I swear it's like a classic meangirl name
I cheated on my wife last year with my sister, two cousins, my aunt, a trap, some emo faggot, and her mom. I also steal my neighbors wifi
this is fucked up and i have regretted it ever since
>be a homo
>like this guy since I was like 10 years old
>we were sorta friends but not really
>talk to him every now and then
>fast forward to year 10 (britfag)
>be 16
>become best friends with this guy
>literally the best friend ive ever had, we talk about everything
>he knows everything about me
>fall in love with him
>as far as im aware he isn't gay
>go to a party with him
>we both get really drunk and high
>take him to bed
>start kissing him and he kisses back
>i suck his dick and he cums
>the next day he tells me he remembers
>friendship ruined
>kill me
>>673736749
....bro you're a saint.
A dick would've snickered without her knowing and told everyone about it and she would've heard about it a month later when everyone called her floorgum
I regularly make fake profiles to get nudes from girls
>>673736755
Literal heresy
Meh it's not on the borders of extreme but I've been on omegle multiple time pretending to be a 11-12yr old girl desperate for sex and when they ask me for pics I sent pics of my friend's little sister.When things get serious we always arrange a meeting and the guy keeps asking me ,,R U A SERIOUS GIRL R U GOING TO COME??'' and I'm like ,,Oh yess I am coming 100%'' and they tell me when and where to meet how they are going to be dressed etc.I am pretty sure that I've lost the time of at least 4 hungry pedo's.
>>673732366
You should not feel about that anon. One of my best mates that i have know since childhood can get sort of "friendly" when he is ferryman drunk. None of us care that he gets in the mood for some bum excavation when he is smashed, we get horny too but our sexual preference is different than his so he never really got any action from the lads. He is fucking stupid every once in a while like everyone else and tries to get with someone who is incredibly out of his league. I remember one time when we were young he got his teeth smashed in becourse he tried kissing some pikey roidman Named Ryan Who was fucking insane. We all felt bad for him. Dont worry about it anon your mates wont give a rats arse if you are gay as long as you are a good friend.
>14
>my friends birthday
>We're all talking him into buying some weed with birthday money
>Buy weed
>everyone takes 1 hit
>I chill in the back with kid we bought from chiefing 30$ worth of weed
>high as fucking Mars
>Talk friend into buying me donuts
>eat donuts
>ditch to go home and cook pasta
>eat pound of pasta
>feel pregnant
>sleep
>be me, about 14-15yo (~2004)
>installed icq, because why not
>random south korean chick adds me
>I add her on msn, because icq sucks
>we talk a lot every day, she's kinda fell love in me
>after couple of months I got tired of speaking english, so I blocked and deleted her
>about 8 years later she messages me on fb
>she tells me she is happy because she found me after many years of searching
>I felt too ashamed to explain, so I blocked her again.
She was hot, but 8000 km is quite a distance.
>>673736945
It was never a friendship bro no biggie.
I think equality is important.
So I'll pretend that this is the same dynamic as a straight relationship.
What follows is a true story
>be straight
>like a girl since grade 8
>we were sorta friends but not really
>talk to her every now and then
>fast forward to grade 10
>be 16
>become best friends with her
>lterally the best friend I've ever had (to date)
>make up lies to make her think of me a certain way
>fall in love with her
>as far as I'm aware she isn't straight
>have a private 3 person party with her
>get drunk
>start fucking her
>she says to her lesbian friend "you've got to try this"
>lesbian friend says "no, I'm gay"
>we have shower sex, we have sex infront of a mirror, we have sex on the bed, everywhere
>bestfriendsex lasts a month
>stop talking because her ex wanted back in her life who was a drug addict.
we were never friends, I always wanted to bang her.
>>673736945
>>673736945
You actually took advantage of a straight drunk guy.. did he at least know you were gay?
I mean seriously, with all the libtard shit going on you probably would've been framed for rape if that was a chic
>>673731290
Jody Highroller
>>673736243
gr8/8
>>673737318
that feels good bro, but i've been mostly straight since. I guess the social implications of being gay have caused me to be more straight. I don't believe in being bisexual, and am a man who makes up his mind.
>>673735626
That is cold^
> Go to school in another state, take girls virginity. Leave never you return.
Changed numbers and what not all by accident really.
> live with 3 beautiful women and don't spy cam.
I feel like the sickest fuck around because I don't give into my rape urges :/
>>673735666
112 pounds here
>drunk driving home from a party
>stuck behind a red truck
>passing lane appears
>wild cop speed trap out of no where
>noticed passenger of red truck throw beer can out window
>cop car following me following truck
>call police and notify them of drunk driver
>cop car pulls truck over
>get home safe
>>673737039
>ay yo floorgum
Jesus Christ that's funnier than it should be
But shit, I just feel bad about everything, don't get me started on my homemade spaghetti stories
>>673737687
yea he did,
he kissed me back and I was drunk, i thought that was a go ahead because I was so fucked. Looking back now, i shouldve asked him atleast
>>673737687
framed
>implying it wasnt
>>673737318
I would have you murdered if you were my "friend."
>>673731902
i download parental keylogger
invite friend over
and steal his shit
runescape real life frienships are evil
>fuck green text
>>673737501
Dude.. What's wrong with English? You missed out on having your very own Kpop chick
>>673737899
survival of the
>>673737566
>high five
>>673730042
>4 years old
>accordion parents are separated again
>mom got us living with some construction worker faggot named Kelly
>has 3 kids of his own & likes to give me & my siblings "bare butt spankings" (he liked saying that too)
>his oldest daughter Cassidy is a little bitch to us
>one day Cassidy comes home bald
>me & my little sister laugh & make fun of her
>bare butt spankings for all
>how the fuck were we supposed to know what leukemia was?
Another time..
>Mom & Kelly Take Their Kids to the Park
>me swinging on the bar above the top of the little slide
>getting high kicks like a badass
>Kelly comes over with his younger daughter Matilda or some shit
>tell Kelly "watch this!"
>he puts Rachel or whatever her name was on the slide
>kick her right in the solar plexus
>Kelly grabs her & stares into my eyes.
>"Jerk!", Kelly faggots.
>felt really bad immediately
>but when he acted like I did it on purpose I just sort of felt indignant
>I'm glad I chest-stomped your stupid sperm, you faggot
I kind of hope Cassidy died of leukemia after he paid for a lot of treatment. That man was a tool.
>>673738137
amen to that.
I was the worst friend with runescape.
That shit was basically child labour digital style anyways. I spent half my childhood mining coal for fucksakes.
>>673730042
>live near this 30 something retard that keeps trying to get us to play with his dick
>have 14yo kid that always wants to hang with us
>introduce the two
>the 14yo says the retard made him suck dick
>tell the 14yo we all did it, and he's gotta keep doing it or he can't hang with us
>everytime the 14yo wants to hang w/ us we say the retard said you haven't been sucking his dick, go suck it now and next time you can hang with us
>>673736243
Lol'd thank you
> be 20 year old me, got a steady gf and a gal I was in love with as my daily and weekly hoes.
> along comes another old fling.
Had intimate relations with all 3 starting with one trip of acid into a day date into a roll fest at a rave.
Don't miss those times but look back and think damn good thing we all didn't have aids.
>>673738417
Top Kek
Underrated post
>>673738287
>paid for treatment
>implying you're from the states
>>673734116
>that picture
>>673738319
>>673738474
oh god thanks for liking my post, but yours is legit top kek.
>>673738656
what sort of idiots would name a guy kelly but the states?
>>673737566
Thanks, that makes me feel better. Its just the way he kissed me back and we flirted all the time before that. I felt like it was right :(
>>673731290
Isn't that rifraf that rapper? Sure looks like him
>>673735382
There is a pretty good chance that 4chan logs some poster info, considering the amount of legal trouble that we had brought upon moot.
>>673730042
this just happened, still not sure how i feel
> move to new province 2 yrs ago, no friends, no social life,nothing
>out of desperation make online dating account, begin talkin to one girl, we'll call her K
> K and i talk for weeks, im still emotionally vulnerable and weaboo as fuck at the time, K takes full advantage and plays me like a drunk at a VLT
>K eventually gets back with hillbilly ex, we cut contact
>time passes , K re adds me on fb, become friends, talk sometimes, she lives 3 hrs away
>over time gain confidence in self and begin flirting with K, just a bit to start, then more and more over time
> over the last 3 months or so she has fallen head over heels for me, will do anything i say
>make her bail on her and hillbillies 2 yr anniversary dinner to come fuck me instead
> have no feelings for her whatsoever, even though i act like i do
i basically fucked her for a month or so, got bored, changed number, blocked on all social media. Her best friend messaged me today saying she cant stop crying and hasnt been into work in 3 days. Id honestly try for the best friend to put the cherry on top but best friend is blonde bimbo who only likes niggers. Still kinda feel bad.
>>673738287
>accordion parents
>named Kelly
>3 kids of his
>his
>solar plexus
Transsexual Kelly teaches mom how to play accordian, fall in love. Has 3 kids plus me, mom and tranny somehow have kids, central plexus. Become Borg
>bare butt spankings
>resistance is futile
>>673738990
Yeah he was interested bro.
Me and this girl flirted for 4 years.
and she is also this girl from story
>>673733215
She now has a girlfriend.
So I mean yeah, your guy could have a girlfriend.
>>673733604
>7 girls
>manwhore
Hahahaha
>be 3 or 4...or 5
>in jacuzzi with older cousin (she's now 32 and I'm 21)
>look at her
>"you don't have to wear your bathing suit if you don't want to'
>fast forward to present day
>at every family gathering she retells.
>lost my virginity to a tranny's smelly asshole last night
I feel conflicted. I don't like dicks. But i just wanted to fuck a hole. Am i gay. I have a girlfriend i want to fuck with the force of a thousand suns. But. I was horny as shit
>>673739459
7 girls in 7 years while dating current girlfriend for 4. Never been single while being able to go to the bar.
I swear it's like you guys are all virgins. I'm a manwhore. I have a problem. I've cheated on my girlfriend 5 times.
>>673738178
It was really tiring back then.
>>673738656
Yes sir I am. You'd be surprised how common being from the states is where I come from.
>8 years old
>neighbour is 6
>we do sexual things
>male on male
>until i'm 12 and he's 10
>added me on msn in 2011
>both said hi
>I said brb
>he said ok
>I blocked him and never spoke to him again
>>673739914
ireland?
>>673739914
>>673739914
it's common here too.
Infact my sister dated a guy from detroit named ted krisko who is a dj.
>>673738319
welcome to 1850, 2000s style
>>673740136
>Ted Krisko
>>673737566
Shit this reminds me of when I was a handsome young beta grand autismo
>just graduated highschool
>sitting alone in bed, just watching TV
>feel kinda shitty, all by myself
>get a fukbook message
>image familiar
>good friend in highschool, but I apparently missed like EVERY SINGLE signal she gave me, and I had no idea she liked me till that moment
>AMAZING booty
>think I let her draw me at some point I remember, to gauge my betaness in signal detection
Long story short, the minute we got to my place we were making out In bed, and we did anal. I didn't want to take her purity (TECHNICALLY I didn't) after it all, I felt so disgusted that I did something that dirty to her, someone so perky, cute, and innocent, I took a solid hour long shower, cried.
Asked myself what the fuck was wrong with me, felt bad ever since
>>673738287
You're a fucking jackass
>in srs relation
>visit my cousin a couple hours away
>haven't seen you in years brother
>let's go to a bar
>start grinding with a chick
>I tell my cousin I'm gonna get us some beers and to take over (wtf?)
>he doesn't and loses chick
>berate him for the rest of the night because chick was 8/10 and was gridnign my cock into sausage
>we leave
>nights not over yet
>every girl that walks by us I hit on
>every single one disgusted
>my cousin wants to figh someone
>guy runs into him so my cousin says something under his breath
>guy doesn't hear
>I yell it so he cna hear
>guy comes back
>big black guy
>we end up becoming friends
>all berate women together
>end up harassing one girl so bad she goes femanazi
>she says I'll never get a girlfrined
>I'll have you know I already have one!
>>673734346
Haha
>>673739151
damn son, cold as hell
>>673740656
Why do you say that?
>>673739212
>fortykeks.jpg
>>673739602
Shiit anon, that's gotta be pretty fucking awkward for you.
>>673740966
Yeah 100%.
>be me
>7/10
>have off and on liked a girl for a few months, think she is probably bi
>nervous to ask bc everyone knows everyone where I live
What do
brb everyone. please keep this thread alive.
>>673733737
you are disgusting
>>673741205
Why did you post this picture of joe?
>>673738417
You're doing gods work anon
>>673735666
>>673736713
How did you starve yourself? Like, what's the process? I'm thinking about doing it but I don't know how
>>673741205
Another problem
>short pacific islander girl a state away
>been off and on for a few years, kind of fuck buddies at this point
>found out she likes BuzzFeed yesterday, and i dont know what to do because she is dumber than I thought
What do???
>>673730042
>like 16 years old
>addicted to retarded pay to win browsergames
>make new acount for no reason at all
>pump over 100€ into it
>get bored and give it to some random noob i was playing with for a few days
>i was literally his hero
>few months later i remeber that
>feel bad for giving away money
>use some tricks with the support to get his password
>change it and never play the account again
>>673741638
I knew him irl
>posted gfs nudes on here after years of not being on 4chan
>what the fuck is an archive
>Ohshit.jpg too late
It's only a few pictures in a pile of millions but fucking hell when did this site decide to drop the anonymity part of it?
>>673741205
This has nothing to do with the thread, foghat.
>>673741954
Who is this
>over 50 missed opportunities to get laid
>opportunity 51 comes around
>be at college party
>100% beta with 0 social skills
>drown myself in booze because I need to seem busy while everyone is dancing and having a good time
>3/10 from a class I have across the room
>nobody I know around
>here's my chance
>since I'm piss drunk and she is 3/10 I have no trouble talking to her
>I'm not ugly either, have been rated from 7 to 8 on this board so I'm probably 7
>no social retarded outbursts so far so good
>go to her place
>get there and take a huge piss
>ready for booty now
>pump her for about 15 min with my whisky dick
>can't cum need to pee
>go pee with my semi
>piss all over the place
>piss on my boxers
>piss on the sink
>piss literally on the fucking walls
>turn boxers the other way around to hide the massive piss stain
>thank god it's dark and I can go on fucking
>cum inside her
>fall asleep
>wake up
>piss stain underneath my ass
>she's still asleep
>bathroom is a complete mess
>puke on the way out
>don't go to that class anymore
>fail semester and take a different course
>>673730042
>be me teenager middle school
>meet beautiful girl in middle school
>be the most loving couple ever
>madly in love with each other
>my bestfriend at school (a black kid) hangs out with me everyday after school
>one day he asks me what I think sex feels like
>I tell him I'm not sure
>he said want to find out? pull your pants down
>I pull my pants down and bend over on my hands and knees
>I hear him spitting on his hands and wiping them together
>feel something against my ass which I think is his finger
>most immense pain ever in my ass
>feel both of his hands on my hips
>wtf look back and he is fucking me
>after a few minutes he finishes and says
>eww dude wtf you took a dump on my dick
>look back and he has crap stains on his dick but can't really tell because he's black
>after that day me and him never mention it again
>we slowly stop hanging out with each other so much
>girlfriend asks why I don't hang out with bestfriend anymore
>tell her he's been really busy now and don't have time
Continued... Anyone still here?
>>673741992
Muhammad Shaeed, I live in Uganda and I sell medical supplies
>>673742145
no everyones gone, im just an echo
>>673741972
Fuck off punk ash bish
>>673732102
Ed from kernville?
>>673742145
Wtf
>>673739654
I'd say, unless you were attracted by the D and the little bit of masculinity there was left, you're not gay, just horny af
>>673742009
what a mess. I'd've boyfd you right then & there.
>>673733737
kill yourself to atone for what you've done
>Be me
>be 16
>meet girl on myspace
>her parents drive a hour to get me
>bring me back to her house
>Richgirl.pa
>We watch rocky her picture show
>Her mom gets chicken fingers and pizza
>This girl has DD tittys.
>Letsdothetimewarpagain.png
>She sucks my dick, tells me to let her know when
>I don't tell her when, bust in her mouth
>She cries and swallows
>Hour later, she does it again
>Promise I will tell her when
>Bigbucksnowammies.wmv
>Hold her head down and force her to swallow
>She cries, I tell her I love her. Hold hands on ride home. Tell her we are dating now
>Block her on Myspace, AIM, and email.
>nowsafetoturnoffcomputer.jpeg
>>673741839
Don't eat anything but maybe a sandwich/small bowl of rice or something a day. Drink lots of water.
>>673734116
>bus diesel can't melt iron bars
Been with the same women for ten years. She cooks, cleans, works and plays some mean vidya. I've been unfaithful multiple times, sometimes women, sometimes men. She figured it out a few years ago and tells me she is fine with an open marriage. The only three rules are never fuck others in our home/bed , we never want to meet/know our fuck buddies and always play safe. Now I just feel paranoid as fuck about who she is possibly fucking. I'm aware that this my fault but damn does it suck. Our families think we are such a sweet and perfect couple,not knowing we are are hos who like strange and group sex. Sometimes I love it,sometimes I don't. She looks like the girl in this pic.
>>673742311
You're in the wrong thread & you're too yung to be in this mature grown up webzone.
>>673742396
I feel kinda bad for her
>>673742396
What the f
>>673734843
born to lose
>>673735104
nice song
Is it just me or is everbody ITT strangely weak and drawn to self critique over smallest shit? Whatever feels bad for you anons is fair but usually the confessions on here are a little heavier
>>673730042
You know it's actually dangerous to open a thread like this, right? You might get into real trouble, cause shit like this drives some people mad as hell. I would love to destroy your life for that.
>>673742145
fast forward 2 years later
>girlfriend and I are still together and she is at my house
>be me browsing myspace and get new message
>old black kid bestfriend messages me on myspace a few years later
>open message and see this
>"rememeber what he did that one day?"
>instantly know what he's talking about but deny it
>"uhh no, when?"
>remember that one day we had sex?
>my heart is beating really fast because girlfriend is walking back and forward listening to her cd player with headphones
>quickly X out my myspace page
>she takes off her headphones and says "WHAT?"
>oh I didn't say anything
>she goes to the bathroom
>I instantly log back into my account and send him this message
>"dude don't fucking message me stuff like this again my girlfriend is over here"
>I get this message 3 minutes later
>"so... you haven't told her yet...
>heart starts pounding hard, sweating bullets, I'm too mad
>(thinking) if I'm hostile he'll find a way to blackmail me, but wait no one would believe his crazy story with no evidence, still I can't risk it
>reply back to his message
>oh no I didn't tell her yet, haha, want to meet up on saturday and talk about this?
>hear the bathroom door unlock
>quickly X out the page
Continued
>>673742145
You let someone fuck you in the ass
>>673742589
Nohthing wrong with spice and mystery in the relationship bro. Too bad even if you wanted it to stop now it wouldn't, she'd just keep doing it behind your back. Feels bad bro.
>>673735278
whores don't count
>>673742396
If I ever had a girl even get close to my penis, I'd never let her go. How do youse guys just blow chicks off like this
>>673743218
I was 14 and stupid, also continuing the story >>673743207
>>673742391
That's not even my worst story but I do regret failing that class because.
I'm a NEET now, I'm not socially retarded anymore but nevertheless a mess. Pls kill me.
>>673743207
He already black maled you anon. And you took it like a whore.
>>673742396
I was a huge whore in high school.
And now I'm a bipolar social outcast.
Jokes on me.
>>673736749
my first girlfriends name was sarah she had perfect eyes and the heart of an angel she was so nice even when she broke up with me i wasnt mad
>>673743195
How so Anon. I feel pretty safe posting on this site and i'm [s]in INCOGNITO MODE [/s]
>have girlfriend of 3 years
>I manage a convenience store
>girlfriend lives 40 minutes away
>I fuck my co-workers all the time
>twice I've hooked up with customers
>gf still doesn't know
>gf will never know
>>673743700
toppest fucking kek
>>673744136
I instantly imagined my local,sweaty,Afghani convince store owner soliciting sex from customers while they're buying cigs and cheap beer.
>>673741839
Okay I'll tell you my greentext story of how this happened for me
>come from upperclass family
>my mother is complacent
>never gives me lunch
>usually just end up eating 2 meals after school then dinner
>fat because I drink so much soda
>one day decide to go out with friends after school
>no food all day and no food all night
>come home and too exhausted to eat
>thus starts the cycle
>mom noticing I'm not eating
>starts giving me lunch money
>spend lunch money on booze and weed because have social life now
>drop 60 pounds in 4 months
>best I've ever looked.
so, become social, find friends, stop eating so much and sitting around.
>>673730042
>>673738852
My name is Kelly and I'm not from the states
>>673730042
pic related.
the kind of rifle I used to shoot and kill my older brother.
Don't have a pic of the actual one as the cops took it.
sorta feel bad about the whole thing,
But since don't feel terrible about it, I fucked up my life that had loads of potential.
Kind of even it all out so to speak.
>>673744447
Seconded with the cycle, if i don't eat throughout the day i can happily
carry on for 3 days before i start feeling weak. That used to be 7 days, seems i am getting old.
Hard drugs and weekend raves help a lot as well
>>673731290
Wreckit Ralph
>>673744481
>only mom on friends not dad
>hurr durrr single mom
>nope, my father doesn't have facebook but my mother does.
>>673743207
>girlfriend eventually leaves
>open up myspace and read new message
>"yeah saturday is fine"
>ohthankgod.jpg
>heart still beating because I don't know wtf he's planning
>fast forward to saturday
>meet him at the part we used to go to after school sometimes
>he tells me that he can't forget what we did and thinks about it every single day
>tells me he wants to do it again
>I tell him "no dude, I didn't know wtf I was doing and that I have a girlfriend and I'm straight
>he says "I might tell your girlfriend if you say no"
>I say "what happened to you man, that's super fucked up, but she wouldn't believe you anyways"
>then he says the most frightening thing that I've ever heard in my entire life
>"I have proof"
>(thinking) that's fucking bullshit, he never had a camera phone, and there's no way you can have proof of somthing like that
>still my heart drops
>I want to call the cops on him for harrassing me but that would almost certainly set him off since he probably wouldn't go to jail for it
>(thinking) would a restraining order work?
>I eventually tell him "alright man we can do it again but just wait until I message you on myspace"
>I don't really plan on doing it again but this will buy me some time to think of some way out
Continued...
>>673744419
Nah. I'm white and it's a Kwik Trip. If you're familiar with it Its super white. It's a Midwest thing. Just like Wawa in the south.
>>673744419
Brown teeth
Big arab nose
Smells of weird spices
"You want come back of store? And make bang bang?
>>673743254
I know what you mean. Truth be told,I don't mind sharing,I just don't want her falling in love with another person. I fuck strangers for fun, not love. It's selfish of me to deny her the same fun I have. For the last year or so, we mostly swing together with other couples. Good food,drink and films lead to insanely good times. That and occasional shrooms/molly.
>be me 17
>last year of high school
>VIRGIN
>see qt3.14 ive never seen before
>buzzin of the booze, decide to make a move
>take a walk over and spark conversation
>going well
>she says a while after "hey, i live right around the corner, you wanna come over for coffee?"
>fuck yes i love coffee
>Get in her car
>drive a few minutes down the road
>listening to hotel california
>bout to do it, getting excited
>get there, go inside
>head to her kitchen
>she is in living room
>search for brewer
>turn around
>i says "Hey where is your coffee pot?"
>she is butt ass naked
>laughing at me
>puts clothes on and pushes me out the door
still have no idea why she invited me over for coffee when she didnt even have a coffee pot.
>>673744768
Anybody still following? It's sorta long.
>>673744690
that's a nice gun. Love bolt actions. How snug it feels when you're putting the bolt back in it's place after reloading.
God I'm getting hard.
It's almost like reloading a pump action. Something about it just makes me feel so...naked.
>>673744690
story plx
>be 7
>hanging out with my mom's friends little piss-ant faggot son
>he copies whatever I do, could give a shit
>little fucker is blabbing on about things he learns in school
>I catch him picking his nose
>tell him its fucking gross
>say he's covered in germs
>kid freaks out and denies that he has germs
>I tell the little retard that everyone had germs
>kid has a massive fucking tantrum and his mom comes in
>tells her I said he's going to die
>I go into defense mode and completely deny anything
>she's skeptical but tells the kid to calm down
>after his mom leaves the room I continue to tease him about germs
>silently cries in horror
>mfw I could give a fuck
>faggot and his mom leave
>mom gives me juice box
>drink juice and watch sponge-bob
I miss when times were simpler.
>>673730042
> frequent tiny chat room
> rif raf joins out of character
> tell him I liked him in waiting
I still feel terrible.
>>673744737
yes exactly, 3-7 days before you start to feel weak.
>>673744897
Fuck you.
>>673744768
yeah
>>673733604
I am 21, living in Spain. As being white , 6 3 master race with blue eyes, I am kind of flirty. I have got laid with 78 girls. Not a single fattie.
I regret the great part of it, not becouse of their beauty, but becouse of the waste of time laying in bed with girls I am.not going to see anymore
>>673744971
monitoring for potential AIDS and ass cancer
>>673744768
This is stupid
"hey babe there's something I need to tell you. I was raped by a guy when I was a kid."
then
"hey remeber that guy that raped me? he's trying to blackmail me into more sex, saying he's going to tell you and has proof."
>>673744897
Nice one
>>673733604
Tell me this is bait!! 7...manwhore..damn nigga.
>>673730042
>be in high school
>be senior
>need temporary storage location for some shit
>in computer room
>some grills flash drive
>decide to take it
>senior year project on it
>end up deleting it to store my shit on it
>I end up getting JUSTed by the american education system
>basically I have to go in the summer even though I'm a senior and had 3 more than the required credits to graduate on time
>mfw this grill was there too
>mfw heard her talking on her phone about the missing flashdrive
>mfw it being missing fucked her over
>>673744971
Keep going fag.
>>673745368
enjoy the std's. Spanish bitches are gross. You basically fucked a tenth of that. 7.8 chicks. Good for you.
>be new kid in school, move to the place around 7th grade
>tiny fucking place, less than 50 kids in my grade, it's one of those prison rules places, gotta establish your shit the first day or you become the target
>do nothing but quietly exist, get made fun of and bullied every day, blah blah blah
>always been extremely strong, never bothered to use it for anything, afraid of hurting someone on accident and feeling even more like shit than I usually do
>before gym one day, getting it harder than usual, got the shit kicked out of me at home the night before, not in any mood for this
>jump from third row of the bleachers down to where this trio of mongoloids were trying to bait me into doing something
>plan successful this time
>target one of them, he tries to run up the bleachers, too slow, I grab his ankle and rip him off the third or fourth step
>kick him with my boots on in the ribs, the back, he's curled up begging me to stop.
>grab him by the back of the neck and his belt, stare over my shoulder at the other two who are just standing on the other side of the gym about to shit themselves
>lift this kid over my head like he's nothing and slam him as hard as I can into the floor
>keep staring, and do it again for emphasis
>walk down to principal's office and tell him what I just did, get in school suspension for a week, some of my classes moved around so I don't have to see or deal with these three fucks except in passing in the halls
>>673745696
While in a long term relationship of 4 years I managed to bang 5 other women. Please tell me you've done the same.
>8th grade choir
>Christmas time comes around
>election of who gets to be Santa for winter festival
>between me and some faggot
>I win
>feelsgood.jpg
>some faggot has autistic tantrum
>dethroned
>day before festival
>"hey, some faggot, let's race to the second floor!"
>"ok, anon"
>trip him
>he goes to hospital
>I get to be santa
>suit was really hot
>>673745702
JUSTed??????
>Me, 21 year old working at a grocery store
>33 year old female assistant manager
>Really cute, petit, nerdy look. Short hair and glasses
>Befriend her, over time gain her confidence
>She lets it slip how unhappy she is in her marriage
>Through friends hear she's crushing hard on me
>Push the issue and make her admit it to me
>Develops into an affair
>Fuck her many times before, during, and after work
>Develops into a dominating/submissive relationship
>Get in too deep, she wants to leave her husband for me
>Break it off because I was just a young guy looking for easy sex
>Feel bad because now I'm her husbands age with a kid with my wife and would hate if my wife cheated on me.
>>673745368
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>>673744768
The proof is he saved your dickshit.
this thread has gone to shit and is mostly a brag/gay/cringe thread. I'm going to bed.
I told you guys to keep this thread alive, not let morons into it.
>>673745925
its a /tv/ meme
JUST fuck my shit up
>>673734705
Fuckin attention whore..you aint done shit nigguh!!!
>>673734386
I remember making fake formassemblies asking for username and passwords..
pathetic that people actually felt for it
Made around 20m, in fuck i dont even remember, 08, 09 or '10
>was a really popular kid when I was 14-15 years old
>girl from elementary school still 'in love' with me
>she's ugly and too shy to look boys straight into their eyes
>she's getting really annoying, texted me AT LEAST10 times a day
>she's really desperate for attention
>it's starting to get obvious she's mentally unstable
>constantly goes on about how ugly she is, how nobody likes her etc
>I make her tell all about her most intimate problems, how she can trust me, blablabla
>after I while I lost interest and started to get rude to her
>she just kept texting me
>no matter how rude I was, she just kept on stalking me
>at this point I'd do everything to lose this bitch
>tell her how ugly she is, how nobody would ever like her, how her parents told me she wanted her to die, how everyone laughs at her behind her back, how I will show all those text she sent me to everyone she knew, everyone would laugh at her even more than they already did etc etc
>she threw herself in front of a train in our village
Didn't go at her funeral, still wondering how I never got into legal trouble with it.
Strange part is I still don't feel bad at all. She still makes me angry thinking of all those pointless fucking texts she sent me about her desperate/sick need for approval.
Never told anyone, except /b/
>>673735247
Whatta pussy
>>673745981
Eh, leave the bitch if she cheats, who gives a fuck.
I learned a long time ago that things happen for a reason.
Your cunt wife and cock kid can go fuck themselves
>>673744752
At least he put some effort in
>pic related, its you
>>673744806
Nah man. Im white. And usually for the customers I get their numbers and fuck them after work.
>>673735104
Top drawer sir...fucking bravo!! Top kek
>>673746418
not sure about your point but okay.
>>673746026
How could I stop them? I couldn't, that's how.
>>673746337
I know the type of girl, I've had a similar experience anon. Basically cut off all communication with her and she tried to OD, shit is fucked up.
>>673739059
nooOoOOo its farfir
>>673746574
disagree.
this >>673736243 was my favourite kek.
>>673744897
So I guess you're still a virgin
>>673745032
>brother 25 me 17
>brother diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic beating up our sister.
>No rape just beating her stupid ass.
>Dad who could back him down physically, not at home
>sister screaming
>go to dads room where I know enfield is and know where mag is .
>get both
>lock and load ( i believe they call it)
>go down stairs yelling my pussy boy threats to stay away form her.
>sister laying on floor crying.
> brother steps in door way across room
>pull trigger
> hit him in the chest.
>was thinking shoot him in the leg to disable but since no training for CQB reacted poorly and squeezed off round while rifle at my hip. >trajectory took it up enough to hit center mass.
>circle around house to find him staring at the ceiling laying in pool of his own blood building under him.
>and still to this day hear my mother (who was also there) yelling "why did you do that"?
my brother DOA February 16th 1989
should and could get over it but somewhere inside I won't allow it.
to hell with me.
>>673731960
HAD TO BE THE BOSS
>>673744768
>over the weekdays girlfriend notices I can't concentrate well in class
>noticeably stressed apparently
>she constantly asks
>"anon, what's wrong with you?"
>"I just have a lot on my mind" and tell her some BS story about how I'm thinking about my future and it's messing with my head
>she tells me to cheer up and that I should be worrying about all of that right now
>ifonlyyouknew.avi
>go home as usual and check my myspace
>(thinking) I never used to be nervous reading new messages, this is totally messed up
>of course it's from him
>"I can't wait to fuck you again, I've gotten way better. Oh yeah have you ever sucked dick before"
>just reading this makes me physically nauseous
>I reply to him
>no not yet, maybe we can try that too haha
>for the first time I start thinking that maybe I should just tell my girlfriend what happened and that I was stupid
>but no, she'll definitely break up with me, tell all of my friends, make me an outcast in school, it will lead to my parents, and worse
>FUCK
>the day has finally come
>we meet at the park and walk to his house
>it's pretty far, we stop by a store and he buys me a turkey hoagie
>(thinking) wtf you faggot this isn't a date
>feel like punching the fuck out of him
>we get to his house and eat and he asks me if I want to play kirby for Nintendo 64
>tell him not really, just not feeling to well
>tell him I really don't want to do this and can he find someone else
>he says nobody knows that he's gay except me and I'm the only person that he can trust with this secret and that he needs me
>(thinking) fuck man, how can one little mistake fuck up your life this much
Continued...
>>673747126
>>673747250
dayum
>>673741887
Shes dumb, easier to manipulate.
>>673747126
damn
How did the law react to the situation? Did they chalk it up to your age/self defense?
>>673747126
On one hand you could get over it indeed. On the other hand "Why did you do that?" would probably also haunt me for a while. Dun goof'd m8
>>673747126
That's not too bad.
your mother is a cunt. Should've dealt with the situation instead of being a little bitch.
>>673747250
that's really gay anon
>be 12
>fucking around with friends in the park
>friend dares me to take a shit on the toilet seat of the porta potty
>do it
>10 minutes later
>watch injured guy on crutches go into porta potty then immediently go back out
>feel horrible about it
>>673747777
quads.
>>673746609
>>673747250
you don't deal with this situation well. But after playing super nintendo I'd suck that black guys dick like theres no tomorrow. If I keep him happy with my mouth I won't have to give him ass.
Also suggest letting you fuck him because I mean he said he's gay, he should try taking dick.
Would love to fuck a black boy mmmmm
>>673747969
We arent blind, you wouldnt happen to live 1 state away and like buzzfeed would you?
check
>>673747879
Agree. Situation wouldnt have happened if your mom could have stepped up
>>673740543
*tips fedora covered with tears*
>>673747250
>one little mistake
IKR? A guy can't just take nigger cock up his ass in peace these days.
>>673747126
u did the right thing you had no choice really
>random gf
>live together
>never gave a fuck about my relationships ever or getting serious with any of them
>get text from x saying she's lonely
>she comes over when gf is out
>gf comes back early, I heard her come in x didn't, could have hidden her.
>don't give a fuck cause I'm about to nut and no inhibitions.
>gf walks in on me pulling out and busting the fattest nut all over my x's ass which was so thick omg
>she starts raging and being a bitch
>x leaves like half naked
>tells me to gtfo out of her house
>end up walking 2 hours to parents house and crashing in the basement
>parents look at me like I'm a piece of shit don't give a fuck still
This was awhile ago and I've since started caring more about my relationships since I met this one girl who I'm crazy for.
>>673748214
...you don't like gets? newfag?
>trying to hook girl up with my friend
>fuck her beforehand to see how it is
cont pls>>673747250
>be in reno
>shoot guy just to watch him die
No regrets
>Be me in younger days
>huge druggie
>acid bibles and shit
>go to trip party
>lots of different shit
>coke, acid, bud, heroin, and of course, ecstasy
>took some lsd prior because it was my fave
>start tripping when i get there
>see friends and a whole bunch of people ive never met
>good crowd for druggies
>meet this girl named cindie
>start talking about our favorite stuff
>says she never did acid, only smoked and did coke a couple times
>ask her to look into my eyes
>"What is that??"
>"This is acid, you wanna try some, it's fun"
>"uhm im not sure"
>"come on, im calm and having a good time, give it a whirl"
>"well ok... ill try some"
>Pull out my strongest tabs
>"This stuff is pretty weak so you may want two or three"
>"cant be as hard as coke, so ill take 3"
>"ok suuuure"
>Gave her 3
>She starts tripping hard after 30-45 mins
>comforting her
>she says she wants to leave
>Tell her she needs to stay because driving is not an option for her in the state of mind
>Starts freaking out
>Jumps off couch
>lays on floor
>pulls keys out of pocket
>she is laying on the floor like she is sitting in her car's seat trying to stick the keys into the floor like it was the ignition
>"Why wont it start!"
>"Because you arent in your car. come sit back down cindie"
>People are watching
>She stands up slowly and has a huge grin on her face
>sits down on the couch
>"im slowly starting to enjoy this" she says
>i start making car noises
>puts hands up like she is driving and freaking out
>"I CANT SEE THE ROAD!"
>i laugh my ass off for the rest of the party
>end up fucking her
>>673733307
Weed isn't like booze. Once you're high you don't get higher the more you smoke, dumbass.
>>673740699
Making friends with strangers!
>>673738417
sure buddy boy
>/b me literally today
>hang out with female cousin, trying to mentor her on getting a job in my career field
>can't stop staring at her cleavage, she has these super perky tits and is always leaving her shirt down a bit.
>she keeps catching me and pulling her shirt up
>talk all day and eventually convo leads to talking about sex,
>become super horny and continually inquire into her sex life, she opens up to me about how boys just use her as a fuck buddy, this guy comes over, plays video games with me and fucks me, that married guy comes over and fucks me all the time I think he's going to leave his wife but not for me,
>she is getting upset, meanwhile I am getting horny and totally want to fuck her
>trying not to pull her shirt down and suck her hot tits with all my strength
>she eventually has to leave and I give her a tight, tit squeezing hug. Couldn't initiate sex
>write her on facebook about 30 minutes later, tell her that all this talk about sex got me horny
>tells me well good luck with that
>thinking back to today, I was coming on to my cousin all day, she likely thought I was super creepy and incesty,
>thanks /b for being such a good influence
>>673733737
Lol you just copied the premise for that well known feels story.
>>673730042
I want this kind of shave? how do i ask my barber for it? what's it called?
>>673748630
hilarious if true
>>673748891
Well, you should probably consider suicide. With any luck she will just keep it between you and her.
>>673748630
shoulda got your dick out and pretended you were a gear stick. wasted oppertunity anon
>>673730042
i used to fuck this one mom.
she'd come over every once in awhile when her son was away for school.
she'd get naked as soon as she came in, put on her favorite song and start fucking me while crying. she said the song reminded her of when her son was growing up and she missed him. it made her and me cum buckets.
this was the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tgwFpMA61c
>>673735104
fucking lmao best video on the entire internet
>>673737501
Stop being a faggot and go for it. If she's still willing to pursue you after eight years, she's the one.
>>673733737
Only know you love him when you let him go
>>673747250
better nate than lever?
>>673749329
what's worse than pasta? slightly altered pasta which misses key keks.
>>673747250
>he says "I want to be the one to take your clothes off
>he takes my pants off, shirt, shoes, socks
>gets right in my face and starts 'trying' to kiss me
>in reality he's just licking all over my lips not knowing wtf he's even doing
>he asks "why aren't you hard?"
>(thinking) uh, Idk sherlock, probably because I'm not into this
>I tell him "I feel sick and can we do this next week"
>he immediately says no and pulls his shirt off and takes his dick out
>he says suck it I already showered today
>I just start licking the tip and he pulls his skin back and I start sucking
>fast forward to he gets some baby oil and pours it literally everywhere
>(thinking) this idiot has no clue what he's doing
>I get on all fours and he starts fucking me
>takes a long time for him to finish
>finally he tells me he "finished inside"
>I said alright man no more after this
>appears not to listen to anything I'm saying, just lying on his back
>I fucking reek of babyoil
>put my clothes back on and tell him I'll see him later
>get back to my house and walk right into the shower
>start to cry in the shower
>all of a sudden all of those tears disappear and I start smiling
>(thinking) yeah, no one will believe him, I'm fucking done with this, my girlfriend will just think he's a creepy stalker
>start to feel a lot better
>(thinking) yeah, I'll just ignore him because if I'm the only one that knows that HE'S gay, then telling her will instantly OUT him as well
>start feeling a lot more confident
>days pass and I'm seemingly worry free
>things are getting better and my girlfriend notices I'm a lot more happy
>I have been neglecting my myspace because I didn't want to see any of his empty threats that hold no truth to them
>finally decide to check it because it has been a week or two
>5 new message from him
>(thinking) hahaha, just as planned, all he can do is message me because I knew he was lying from the beginning about having anything against me
Continued...
>be me
>13
>going to school
>weird kid sitting infront of me on bus
>he's drawing
>ask to see his drawings
>not bad
>cool drawings of Star Wars characters
>"You think that's good Anon? Look at THIS"
>Whatthefuck.avi
>pictures of Tommy from rugrats with a huge erection
>"What the FUCK"
>he shouts at me
>others notice
>others see his drawings
>he demands bus driver stop
>he gets off
>not seen him since
>>673748687
Translation: I've never smoked weed
>>673737497
I feel satisfied reading this
>some kind of real big place for kids to play with inflatable castles etc
>always lots of fighting between children because only 1 group can collect the plastic balls and everyone wants them
>we have to leave our monsterstash of plastic balls to eat pancakes, our stash will get stolen
>eat those pancakes like a monster to be able to guard to plastic balls asap
>see a young girl running past me with our plastic balls in her hand
>stop her by pulling her hair while she was running
>she falls to the ground screaming in pain
>kick her in the face
>collect the plastic balls
>walk away and proceed to guard our stash
>>673748630
>"I CANT SEE THE ROAD!"
>>673749235
Nah she probably wanted the dick, but taboo is taboo. Keep trying anon, you'll fuck her one of these days
>>673749808
inb4 nigga filmed second encounter.
>>673735666
im 5"6 155lb with 17% body fat, you do not have a healthy weight you toothpick faggot
>>673747834
yes spent a week in county
no ass rape
should have been ass raped for what I did.
better then a bullet through the chest after all.
but grand jury let me go in self defense.
>>673731290
DA SHARKTOOF VILLAIN
>>673749808
I'm on the edgelord of my seat, anon.
You're quite the insecure faggot, I like you.
>>673749329
Got me anon
>>673741839
just work out and eat a healthy diet you pleb
>>673749877
keep thinking that, kiddo.
>>673747842
still haunts 27 years later.
can suppress when sober but not when drunk like now.
>Cousin is older than us
>He's that cool cousin we always want to be around
>after him is my older brother then me then my other younger cousin
>Other younger cousin gets peer preshured by older cousin and brother to do crazy shit
>I think it's funny
>I don't give a fuck about him cause he's an asshole to me
>Older cousin is going through puberty at this age
>Tells younger cousin to do bite her moms ass
>is it incest if you get erect at your aunt? I don't know and don't care
>I'm too young and don't get horny or find this arousing, continue laughing cause he's crazy
>younger cousin is pale, skinny and short
>he's basically like a stray abandoned dog that humps you all the time
>pic related
>Strangly enough, girls used to think he was "cute"
>Didn't believe it until I witnessed it
>mom calls him chikin little
>You get the point
>older cousin is getting out of hand
>Younger cousin just wants to fit in/acceptance
>He's litteraly a crazy, ugly, stray dog that's really engergetic and humps people.
>I'm getting tired just thinking about it
>Older cousin tells him to shit under specified tree
>I begin to realize just how fucked up this is
>Continue laughing
years past and he never aged nor changed. i've been told he gets bullied a lot and aunt hasn't seen or met any of his friends. apparantly doesn't have any cause he's too fucking wierd >pic related
The part I regret is that his dad is fucking taller and bigger than our dads, and I already know this kid is gonna grow up and karmas aiming straight to the nuts
>>673737181
You're doing God's work anon
>>673750217
i forgot the >be me 9
this was 7 years ago
>>673747879
>>673748341
not that I should entertain fagtrolls, but mom did and said she was going to call cops on him and he said "tonight you get your then bitch."
Unless you stupid fuckfags are saying my 5-5 120 lbs mom should stop my 6-4 240lb brother in a rage.
would not be surprised if stupidfags like you would think that very thing.
>>673750217
what did I just read.
>>673748388
I could have used a bat or something tbh.
>>673750597
hahahahaha
>>673750214
Which isn't bad news really. All the shit that haunts me, nothing in comparison with the weight on your shoulders, will only shut the fuck up when i am not sober. I am currently detoxing after 7 years of every day at least unnecessary amounts of weed, usually other crap ad well. It's complete garbage, all the shit that now crawls to the surface. If you are happier when sober then there is hope
last story
>me yesterday
>meet chick on tinder couple days ago
>sweet as can be
>decide to meet up for coffee
>waiting and get my favorite drink from starbucks
>sitting
>waiting
>Text her asking her where she is
>"here"
>wait another minute or so
>she walks in
>ohfuckme.jpg
>she has a kicking body
>but a lazy eye
>she sits down after she orders
>"OH MY GOD ANON ITS SO NICE TO MEET YOU"
>i spoke without thinking
>"and him too i guess?"
>she gives me this look and storms out
god dammit why couldnt i have just dalt with it and gotten laid?
>>673750089
Im 5'9 135 with 6% body fat
I bet you cant see over the counter to order your 3 Big Macs at Maccas you fat ass
>>673750531
and I was just starting to think your pussyass wouldn't write no more.
You should've used your fists you pussy faggot. Gunfag. You must be the offspring of donald trump you insufferable asinine gunwielding brother killing cunt.
>>673749808
Could someone start a new thread soon for this anon to continue his story, bump limit is pretty close and I realy want to read it.
>>673748518
listen to your mom bro
>>673749808
cmon, faster
>>673750780
fucking kek
>>673743475
this
>>673739151
>Vlt
Fucking way she goes boys
>>673750645
He could have overpowered, grabbed the bat and pummeled your head til you dead. Grabbing a gun was the only thing you could have done
>>673749808
>decide to read the most message from him just to see what he's been saying
>(thinking) this is the brst revenge, should have just ignored him from the start
>I stop breathing completely as I'm reading
>literally start gasping for air
>read the words
>>673750087
>"you should have just talked to me. But you were right, I didn't have proof, but now I do."
>grab my phone and call him immediately
>keeps ringing and he doesn't pick up
>run outside to breathe because I feel like I'm suffocating in my house
>go back in the house and go to my moms room
>I have no choice but to ask her for help
Continued
Yeah, I need to start a new thread. I'm going to type it all down so I can just paste it instantly in the new thread.
>>673750829
>>673750859
>>673750827
Was getting a beer you fag.
"You should've used your fists you pussy faggot. Gunfag. You must be the offspring of donald trump you insufferable asinine gunwielding brother killing cunt."
Now this i can agree with.
You may be a faggot but at least you hit the nail on the head.
>>673751084
>most recent message*
>best revenge*
>>673751084
>>"you should have just talked to me. But you were right, I didn't have proof, but now I do."
dumbass
>>673748518
But now you're in a Folsom Prison
>>673748687
wat?
>>673747131
HAD TO BUY A CAR
>>673751121
People like you hate on trump because he's a winner. Like what does trump have to do with this shit? Angry ass loser. Also trump is playing a very smart game but of course your dumbass doesn't realise that.
>>673750531
So your logic after that is to shoot him?
>you stupid fuckfags
>you stupid
>you
>>673750212
maybe you're just retarded then
