hey /b/ i need some insight/advice about my self. and maybe a psychological diagnosis.
i have struggled with some form of anxiety for most my life its not really gotten worse or better just been a constant over reacting nervous feeling in everyday situations (Didnt get my license till i was 24, haven't had a girlfriend because i hate social situations), im 27 now, But thats not what this is about.
Lately (As in the past 1-2 years) ive been doing some really weird stuff that seems out of my control or thinking really wrong stuff that i never really thought about before.
I live with one of my closet friends since highschool and his girlfriend and when ever there gone i go threw there stuff to try and find things that i shouldn't know i have 60 GB worth of sex pictures and videos of him and his past and current girlfriends, i have found all her dildos and anal plugs i have snooped threw there mail and found out hes in so much debt hes probably gonna have to declare bankruptcy at some point.
on valentines day i told his girlfriend he was cheating on her (Which he was) but thats besides the point i donno why i told her.. i just did it was literally eating away at my brain that i knew this and i had the power to break them up (They didn't) which really shocked me and kinda pissed me off. but lately i have to know what there doing and where there going all the time if i dont i literally can't think about anything else (are they hanging out with are friends with out me? are they turning other people against me) Why wont they tell me where there going.
ive also had thoughts about killing them, and raping her (this scares me the most like wtf ive never thought like this before, the thoughts just go threw my mind uncontrollably i never act on any of them, they disturb me and i donno why im thinking this shit).
They went to mexico today and the whole day ive been hoping that i hear on the radio that there flight crashed and there both dead.
>>672916707
(Continue)
Even though i dont want that to happen, im still thinking it..
WTF is wrong with me....
>>672916786
I think most people get "dark" thoughts, just choose to ignore them. It's a lot easier than stressing about them.
>>672917204
i get that people get "dark" thoughts but this feels like more then that. i never thought this way before until recently. and the thoughts are happening more often and more disturbing. i also act different now when im alone and its really starting to fk with me.
sounds like anxiety that comes from unhealthy obsession, try valium and pot, reading whatever things that will take your mind away from it
>>672916707
ive got a story relationg to ur situation OP, its kind of a long one so get ready. i used to love the movie gremlins. its still ok but not the best movie I've ever seen. anyway. i met this girl who also loves the movie gremlins. she said that it reminds her of her childhood. and for some reason the mogwai really turn her on. i ask how thats possible. the mogwai have absolutely no sexual features. no rounded ass, no raised breasts, no genetalia of any type. could it possibly be the fact that they transform into those slimy green gremlins? what is it? she refused tell me. i spent many nights afterwards watching gremlins and hoping maybe to get turned on a little bit. one night i got half a chub but I've since realized that was most likely just the air conditioner. eventually i couldnt take the mystery anymore. i MUST know what turns her on about the movie gremlins, if for no other reason than i want to be able to fuck a mogwai in the comfort of my own home. why should she be able to get so turned on by gremlins but I'm not even allowed to experience it? i corner her. she backs up. scared. my slow approach has her shaking and asking, "logan, whats gotten into u?" i tell her this is the end of the line. she must tell me why gremlins makes her pussy drip. here and now is the time or she will die by my average sized cock. I can tell that she's finally about to tell me, she's finally about to break. she takes a deep breath and dramatic music begins to play from the lunch room loud speakers across from mrs. shabotski's 5th grade class ( this was the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2dsGeGzxTs ) above the dulcid tones she tells me the thing i swore never to repeat. but i will tell it to you hear bros. i will tell it to you from my death bed. i will tell you the sexiest thing I've ever heard. that girl lets the real life gizmo live in her pussy. shit gets wild after midnight.
hope you feel better bro
>>672916707
Your a faggot OP. I think you secretly like your bestfriend and are jealous of his chick so your trying to break them up in hopes of that one day he will leave you Looking like a glazed doughnut.
>>672916707
>arbitrarily Capitalized words
>there
I want to be interested OP, but I really dislike you as a person. Learn how to write a fucking sentence.
>>672918801
Definitely not gay...
I have had a gay experience and it was one of the worst things i have ever experienced. that and i only get turned on by women... sooooooooooo
>>672918912
Sorry to have Let you down. jking i dont give a fuck.
>>672919139
You're gay if you've let a gay experience happen to you. I don't believe in bi curious bs. I bet your White OP. Arent you?
