ITT: the most aussie thing you can think of or that has happened to you
ausfag here
I was born in Australia.
Crikey
>>672821594
I was born in Gippsland and continue to live here.
unlike you city fuckwits.
>>672821594
Daddy ducked me and I loved it
>be me
>born northeast vic
> still there
> shoot crows and work in vineyard for work atm
>ohyes.jpg
>>672822276
Tasmania doesn't count.
Scorpion scorpion kangaroo kangaroo nobody likes us boo-hoo
Foetal alcohol syndrome.
i was drunk driving in my 70's valiant
Loli-water
my mate lived in Albury called vegemite valley,
enough said
>>672822711
*near a place
>>672821888
>>672822688
>>672822711
Get thread???
>>672822705
lollie*
>>672821594
Crashed a bogans party and the were cool with it
>>672822924
I've been invited to party's just walking past their house while they are setting up.
feelsgood.jpg
>>672822924
straya
My uncle feeding 'burt' the croc that starred in the first Dundee movie.
Use this for the next thread op
>be me
>23, doing practical legal training to qualify as a lawyer
>decide to do PLT in the country
>bloke comes in, says a copper gave him a fine for not wearing a seatbelt
>ask him why he wasn't wearing a seatbelt
>bloke had been bitten on the chest by a snake and he didn't want the seatbelt rubbing against the bite
>"why didn't you tell the copper you'd been bitten?"
>"I did, he didn't believe me"
>"Did you show him your chest?"
>"Yeah, he said it just looked like a scratch"
>"So you went to hospital after that?"
>"Yeah, I showed them the snake and they gave me the antivenom"
>"Wait.. you showed them the snake?"
>"Yeah mate, caught the bastard after he bit me"
'straya
Invasion Day
>>672823539
This is awesome.
Fair dinkum.
Acca dacca
>>672823598
fuck up cunt we won
>>672823598
fuck up cunt, we won
>>672823755
Yeah more like victory day
Every name is given an "o" at the end of it
Bobbo
Steveo
Jacko
this is straya
Midnight Oil was a good band
this is the fucking best aussie page on facebook
>>672823816
Jonno
Damo
Sambo
Tommo
>>672823539
this is awesome, got any more stories?
>>672823965
>boys 'creaming' together
Watching a Noonga swim naked in a park fountain while his fat drunken missus had a bottle of wine in each hand screaming at random people slurring nonsense. Fuckin Straya
>Move into new house
>Decides to go checkout what's behind the backyard
>Has to break rusted gate open with a massive spanner
>Immediate mass of trees
>Bushbash for a while
>Lost
>Google maps says I'm right next to my house
>Still takes an hour to get home
>This was last week
Heatwaves (35*C+) are the norm
>>672823965
>tfw i will never cream with a blokemate
>>672824001
we call em coons and boongs, not sambos :D
>be me
>Bindi comes over
>loves the cock
>she sucking away as usual
>takes it out...
>suddenly yells "CROCODILE!"
I..I can't tell the rest
Lock out laws apply in places like Sydney and Brisbane
>>672824177
>calling winter a heatwave
Top kek
>>672824177
its 33* here atm and its fucking half past 8
Australia Day is celebrated as a "founding day" when the native Aboriginal peoples have lived in the country for thousands of years
>>672824412
32 and its 8:35pm
>>672823539
Only in straya would those pigs fine someone after something like that.
The national sport is where people chase and kick a red egg shaped ball between four posts while jumping on top of each other
>>672824475
wot the fuq
>>672824482
You get fined because your baby is crying too loudy
obviously not me but this is the most strayan thing ever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X472LWhaXE0
>>672824475
Found the time strider
>>672822497
Fuck off you yank cunt. Go back to licking the crumbs out of fat peoples belly buttons.
>>672824482
Meanwhile, only in 'straya could you spend 50 years in the police and never once even consider pulling a gun.
<- my dad
>>672824926
Byotiful
Most aus thing is being in queens
>>672824752
Western Sydney here, about the same.
Each suburb in Sydney is linked with a distinctive ethnicity/nationality
I got drunk one night and tried to climb a lamp post, fell off and broke my ribs and collar bone, then played footy the next day.
>>672825196
Struth
>>672821594
>driving home from work in my brothers torana
>see mangled bike on side of road
>think fuck me this Cunts been hit
>pull over and start looking for a body
>see some fuckwit lying on the ground
>fella says to me "fuck off ya cunt I'm only drunk."
>tell him is a dumb cunt for making people think he was hit by a car
>hop in Torana, do a burnout as I leave
>>672824482
A lot of Australian cops aren't necessarily bad blokes, they're just stupid as fuck and don't understand that some situations require them to do more than just write a fine or tase someone.
>>672825196
rock on mate solid effort
Frankston Here
>>672825196
Sounds like a top weekend. Did the same once but it wasnt my ribs it was my elbow, and i didnt play footy, i played cricket after, and it wasnt a lamp post, it was my uncles wheelchair from the top of my garage.
>>672825343
get your fucking train tracks fixed cunt
>>672821594
CROIKY! THIS KANGAROO'S BONER HURTS WORST THEN THAT CROC WHO RIPPED ME NUTS OFF!! SOMEONE GET ME A FOSTAHS!
>>672822026
sheeeet me too which town?
>>672821594
Got bit by a spidah, cunt. Yeh have tonnes of that down 'eeya, don't ya?
Worst place on Earth.
Vegemite and cheese is a thing
>>672822711
Vegemite valley is a term used to refer to suburbs that have a lot of abos. There's one in every town almost
>>672825334
I agree there not all bad , and mostly I blame the people up top for all the nonsense that trickles down as a result of them getting quota's to meet.
>>672825413
fight me 9 ironbark court Frankston north
>>672825489
Thats nuttin, i got me arse raped by a koala after havin me nuts chomped by a croc i was molestin!
People complain that everything is expensive
got raped by a kangaroo while smoking some whinnie blues
>>672823598
Every country was invaded fuck up boong dog
Is it just me or is the old generation way better cunts than the current generation. I cant see half these teens/kids as adults.
>>672825422
Obvious amerifat.
Checked though.
Abo stole my thongs
Calling mates cunt and calling cunt's mate.
>>672825735
Australian Invasion Day
>>672825799
dingo stole my baby!
I'm a drunk that says cunt a lot.
>be a tourist at a backpacker bar
>local shows up and get drunk
>police called in by the bar
>take the local with them
3 hours later
>walking back a canadian girl I'm about to bone.
>see the local walking back to the bar
>he is all bruised and a bit bleeding
>girl starts to asks what happened to him
>he explains the police didn't like him bother the tourists
>so they took him in the outback to rough him up
>and left him stranded there
>girl asks if he will file a complain
>local says he isn't a cunt and walk away
>>672822425
Crop protection ?
>most australian thing you've done
Moved out of Australia.
>>672825742
cause half of them are already ice rats
wangratta is a perfect example for anyone between the age of 13-16
>>672825815
Nobody gives a shit ya drunk coon its when we civilized your dumb asses n gave ya shoes. Well we tried to civilize ya. Isnt it pention week better go stock up on goon for ya family
>Walking to uni today
>Abo mob next to Government House
>Always there drinking goon, playing loud music, smoking and tearing up the grass
>Get asked for a smoke
>mfw
Was walking through South Brisbane and saw a bunch of cunts smoking cones under the bridge, hit em up for a lighter and ended up smoking cones with em. Went back to their house had a game of footy and did burnouts up the road in my mates VC Commy
MoeyDW
>>672825987
winrar
>>672821594
>Parents punching on at a footy game
>Having aircon and fans on but your house is still 30 degrees inside
>Going to Pie face after getting sloshed at a club
>>672824066
Lots, this all happened in the 6 months I was there:
- Crazy woman drove a twenty tonne earthmover into her ex-husband's house.
- protracted litigation over ownership of a couple's dog
- drunk bloke tried to park his tractor in a supermarket carpark, smashed the roof of the carpark and his tractor
>>672826120
this isn't ylyl, but lost/10 haha
>>672826120
Oh, and a guy robbed a petrol station and a bottleshop with a cricket bat
>>672825987
I thought we were sposed to post something out of the ordinary.
.
This was on the news a couple of weeks ago.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl1yasSABOY
Straya Day mate
A day where Aussies celebrate "founding" a country by drinking alcohol
Anyone here in Townsville tonight?
Bold and the Beautiful before 5pm news
>>672826462
fucking gold
this cunt as a kid
NRL players humping dogs is considered normal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjyyoAeHPzU
Talk shit about the All Blacks and still lose the world cup. Most Australian thing
>>672826961
Talk big about all sports like we have a chance of winning anything but yet the media hypes up our loss like "fuck we're always the underdog but fuck me, did we give it a shot"
>>672826579
I am cunt. I fucken hate it here. When the fuck does it cool down?
>>672824632
Eight posts, shit-for-brains.
the drink of champions
>>672827333
lived in hermit park 5 yrs
shithole
>>672825539
>black, stinks, tastes fucking rancid
I can see how that works
An australian day with bitches in the kitchen
Straya
aussie icons
>>672827986
fuck oath
>>672827521
I'm over near Golf Links Drive. Just moved up from Sydney.
>>672821594
fucked a gin
>>672827221
That's a lie- if we win ANY international, however insignificant the sport, it's all over the news (hockey, basketball, netball, soccer against North Korea etc).
However, if we lose it never gets mentioned again, except maybe on the ABC.
Newtown is the cultural centre of Sydney
>>672823539
should have given the pigs the snek
>>672822026
Lavalla fag checkin in
>>672824413
they didn't have a united country
thus Aus day is the founding of the nation
>>672821594
Had to fight of an angry porcupine with a pitchfork.
>>672824919
hope that ford fag didn't spill his beer
>>672825474
Morwell,
so I'm doing better than you by default.
Had a thong-blowout whilst walking to the bottlo to get a nice cold goon.
Saw some sunscreen bracketed to a burnt tree out in the NSW scrub. 'Knoath
Any anons/femanons from Geelong want to smoke? I have some weed.
Kik: Joshco1991
>be at a roundabout crossing
>shitty old van coming up, he signals right
>i stop to let him through
>he turns left and honks his horn
>>672828836
Morwell? Atleast not everyone in Traralgon smokes meth
>>672828913
i was on foot btw
>>672828871
perfect
>>672828912
Should have added. I'm 24/m
snake in kitchen...kill with butterknife...
>>672828912
fuck oath, im in newtown man
>>672828939
I bet you hang with that fuckwit fatboy.
>>672828871
>cold goon
Posh cunt.
https://youtu.be/l1CCIfFenDE
>>672829122
haha kek hard
Any cunts in Townsville? 4815 here
>>672826961
how are the sheep doing after the earthquakes??
>see disheveled black man approach homeless aboriginal laying in the street
>black man asks 'can i bum a smoke my brother'
>aboriginal looks up at him disgusted
>'im not ya britney ya big fuckin nigger'
>bumfight ensues
>>672829076
Did you adjust your glasses on your shit head when you typed that?
>>672821594
shit posted on pol
pissed on a yank's face
farted on a britbong
fucked a kangaroo and an abo in a threesome
got drunk
am a fag
am an aussie
>>672827333
Ya get a week in August
any 3220 here?
>>672829029
Add my kik and we'll sort something out for the weekend maybe?
>>672829358
[target locked]
>>672829451
yeah man will do
beta 18/m btw
>>672829545
was finding more people to smoke with eh
>>672829366
>>672829472
Im really mad right now
>>672829366
>fucked a kangaroo and an abo in a threesome
Was the kangaroo M or F and what was it like?
>>672829656
Add my kik if you want
>>672829722
All you had to do was deny knowing him. now look, your a confirmed faggot.
>>672829947
Im gay kill myself
>>672829944
yeah will do man when charged
>>672824412
-2
Wish i had a fucking Heatwave.. mait !
>>672830073
Now we've got that out of the way. Wanna buy some meth?
>>672830172
id rather go skiing atm than it being this fucking hot in autumn
>>672830297
Hello FBI
>>672830306
How hot is your winter?
>>672830392
It's the CIB in Australia you dumbass.
>>672830578
*ASIO
>>672830435
cold for australians but not really cold, max I've been in is -7 at falls creek
>>672830651
Criminal Investigation Beau.
ASIO is the equivalent of CIA.
I shitposted once.
Losing a war to a bunch of emus
>>672825334
90% cunts
>>672821594
I phoned a guy and he sucked my dick for me, on Saturday, an Oz post, in Perth. The faggot must be visiting from Sydney
how to pronounce EMU?
>>672831094
E-moo
>>672823534
That green XR6T vid is fucking legendary
>>672831094
E-Moo
But moo is more like you.
>>672831193
eme-you?
>>672831295
Bingo-bongo drongo.
>>672830847
ahahhah fucking pissa
>>672823539
![hqdefault[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/doSTt0F.jpg "hqdefault[1].jpg")
>>672830578
Thanks for the enlightenment.
As a non Australian I was conceived in Australia. Am Canadian
>>672825912
Probably just a passtime
>>672831597
what a fucking trooper sneaky cunt eh
>>672831597
what now?
>>672831645
>Canada
"I can't believe its not Australia"
I, as well as my whole school, stopped what we were doing in our lunch break to watch and record two kangaroos roo-ing in front of the administrive building. Ecstatic laughter and shitty commentary could be heard evrywhere throughout the lunch area.
>>672823965
fucking caloundra, thats why
Can you fry spiders coated with marmite on the barbie?
>>672832295
>Marmite
>>672821594
Zero punctuation. Nuff said
>>672828391
I live in Newtown, mate.
that bullshit vegemite was bringing out, like the vegemite smiths and vegemite chocolate.
not gonna lie, i liked it
>>672832706
I tried it for shits and giggles. It was alright.
>go to boarding school in brissy
>cousin works on a station
>go to work wuth him in holidays
>literally sweat every last drop of VB out my nuts
>spend all day in a helicopter looking for cows skinnier than ehtiopians just to round them up and send them to skiiny gooks
>spend all night doing speed and drinking
>go see parents after working before going back to school
>do well in school
>do well in footy
>all i wanna do is go back to the station and do speed while hunting malnourished nigger cows
also what the fuck is upw ith durry prices
if you dont smoke winnie blue opti crush youre not true blue
>>672832706
>too much vegemite for pissy little wankers
>not enough vegemite for real blokes, just tastes like caramel
fuckin failed product m8
>>672825586
>9 ironbark court Frankston north
I'm out the front now. Is that white shitbox your car?
>became a councilman
>>672822425
Where abouts? 3716
>>672833033
Yeah m8, I'll fucken knock you out cunt
London raised till 13
Ohio raised till 31
Waking up drunk, probably
>>672832706
I stocked up on that shit, I have about 5 blocks in my freezer in the garage lmao
>>672823965
Guys and their frozen milk treats
>>672832850
nah winnie blues with the taste flow filter is better m8, 26 dollars for 30
>>672828912
leopold here dude
>>672832581
Bullshit anon, I live in the inner west
Got some saucy bitches?
>>672822543
yep
>>672833033
Post pics
>>672833304
god, i managed to only get one block, fucking bummed fam
Got me a chubby girlfriend who can ride horses
>>672831094
Ee-myoo
>>672833150
Too late. I've already left you a sooper seecret suuurprise. Peace
>>672831693
I've for a mate that dose crop protection with falcons around the world.
>>672833811
as if man, when they started stop selling them it went down to 2 bucks a block so you missed out
>>672828913
At least he fucking signalled a direction.
Hate it when drivers don't do it
>>672830847
10,000 rounds and you only killed 12 birds.
I see why the took your guns now.
oi anyone know the price for a few pills of mdma/ecstasy? Never done it before and I don't want to get ripped off on the weekened
This show. Watching this show.
>>672821594
>moved to Australia
>Alice specifically
Hated every second of it.
Impossible game time:
Post an attractive full abo
>protip; you can't
>>672834025
Kek that wasn't me even me brah.
>>672834484
>aussie thread
>>672833637
Where abouts in the inner west?
>>672834137
are you kidding? they stopped selling them really quickly lmao
>>672834688
shes a half cast faggot nice try
>>672834688
Definitely not full abo. Probably half or less
>>672823846
Bunch of fake Aussie faggots in this thread don't know what we even.about 100L of goon in a coon wagon and not one of these fuckers comments ... Sad day indeed
>>672834770
nah not kidding, yeah they only sold a couple hundred thousand apparently
>>672834906
soz bruh, you should be used to no one giving you attention
>>672834484
>u fuckn wot fulla?
>>672821594
This thread
>>672825151
so true. mfw. mid city where the cultured white people fight off the asians
>>672821594
>work in british pub
>>672835013
No beastiality pls
>>672835122
Western Sydney must be white trash bogan scum then.
>>672835013
wtf is up with their facial hair. how?? normal old women dont have it that fucking bad
>>672822478
Kek
Fixing Cat 773 at a quarry and a Goanna casually strolls passed me.
>>672821594
Hello old boys. Anon from the motherland here. Just enjoying your riveting colloquial discourse. Don't mind me.
Sydneyfag here, went to the cross with a few of my mates after stumbling out the boozer, only to be pushed into a fucking brawl against abo's and leb's about which beer is better; vb or crown. Needless to say I started beating the fucking shit out of abo's cause they tried to syphon the fuel out of my car to sniff :^)
I was at the billabong eating spag bol and drinking a tinny of VB when I saw a koala try to fuck a wallaby. fair dinkum.
>>672821594
>drank a sack of 5L goon to myself
>went clubbing
>finger bashed a bitch on the dance floor
>went to the toilets and was shouted 3 pingas
>went back outside the toilets and hooked up with some slut
>went back into the toilets and got head from the bitch
>my mates cheering and banging on the stall door
>one cunt went to the stall next to me and filmed it
>went outside and go into a fight with that bitches boyfriend
>got kicked out by some kiwi bouncer
>bummed a ciggie off a homeless cunt
>pissed infront of the club
>got arrested by the coppas
all in one night
>>672833143
Nah 3735
>>672835363
fucking faggot
>>672834484
You really can't....can probably count on 1 hand the amount of attractive half cast abos
>>672821594
ITT a bunch of shitstains that will never have the cultural importance that aborigines have.
>>672834245
Like $30 don't buy off a sketchy cunt if you wanna remover your night man
>>672835539
I say.
Anyone got any tips for a beta on how to meet women in Adelaide.
>>672834254i>>672834254
Mucca Mucca Mucca oi oi oi
>>672835661
thanks mayn
>>672835663
Tinder, I shit you not
>>672835392
you sound 12 cunt
>>672835652
go back to sniffing car fumes and drinking petrol faggot
>>672835662
say what faggot
>>672835956
I tried it, got like no responses. Maybe I am ugly, or maybe I just put a shit photo on.
getting a pavement facial after a one-punch attack outside the club and never colouring inside the lines again
>>672835652
also, who'd you get the computer off? coz it's not yours, i can guarantee that
>>672836115
post pic
>672835663
Offer them a fair dinkum feed ay, cunt.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx-08GgWoU8
Bitches love turtle dicks
>>672834254
I fuckin' hate that show
>>672836210
Not gonna happen, adelaide is too small, chances are I could know someone on here
>>672836307
A bit too accurate?
>>672821594
Lost my footing while drinking and saved my drink without even a drop spilt.
>>672836307
same
>>672836307
I hate anything with that guy in it, he is so overrated and annoying
Blokes
>>672836389
Not that guy but damn straight son, there's no cute or quiet nice girls they're all fake tanned skanks with tats. Tinder can suck a dick too.
>>672836476
Quite the opposite.
>>672834245
if youre around sydney i can hook you up with some good acid
>pre drinks
>VB and vodka cocktails
>go to bar
>get chucked out by kiwi bouncer
>grab seagull and throw inside
>wake up later with scratches on my hands
>mate says I'm banned for life
>>672836115
I'll give you some tips dude.
>You need at least 3 pics, 2 selfies and like a group photo of you with pals or doing something
>A good bio (if you're tall aka 6ft and up put that shit in there, describe yourself a little but dont make yourself sound lame and just keep it to dot points/small sentences. eg, I have my height,my snapchat username,a few hobbies and stuff to make me sound funny)
>Learn to spot fake accounts (probably why you dont get any response)
>
>>672836389
fair enough, its most likel the pictures your using mate
>>672821594
pretty sure i don't count as australian tbh, i live in old mate tassie
>>672836801
oh damn, nah unfortunately I'm in burn city
>>672834254
Of the Aussies i met in Bali, id say its a fair depiction
>>672836917
Probably, but I feel like a retard taking a selfie, so they a probably super shit. Anyway, I will continue being a beta for now then.
> get staunched and called a racist by a group of underage aboriginal teen women who are drinking and high (probably on meth) in Claisebrook.
Granted we were yelling "PERTH METH" really loudly.
https://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/wa/a/31036783/4wd-heads-into-swan-river-on-crabbing-expedition/
River? No problem!
>11 year old aboriginal kid stabbed and killed a mid 20's guy Australia Day morning at Esplanade Train station
> Spend half a billion on a quay, BHP mining giant builds a waterpark which resprays the water of piss and shit from toddlers and children all over them. Children get sick with conjuctivitis and gasto
Literally, gassing the children
>Client who we insure is a halfway house for battered women. Ex finds her in the home and slashes her with a knife and beats her, in front of her 3 kids. She is about 20 years old.
>Aboriginal employee of my client has gone onto workers comp with fucked eyes from apparently the work environment. Quite dusty etc. Isn't getting any proper assessment or diagnosis from an opthamologist so is proceeding to go blind from sheer ignorance.
Shall we go up north to the never ever land which is remote aboriginal communities and coastal cities like Broome and Derby?
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-03-08/suicide-of-10-year-old-indigenous-girl-shocks-wa-community/7231052
>>672821594
Watching butthurt Americans after America's cup victory.
Was told this by my science teacher:
>school is by beach so decided to do experiment
>about alkali-metals reacting with water.
>Starts to throw chunks of Sodium into the water
>Curious seagull comes along on eats some of it.
>Seagull goes poof.
>>672837087
if you ever swing by sydney and need a fucked up night - wickr id: vopo123
>>672835438
Webm of blowie, or gtfo.
>>672836903
Maybe I will give it another go at some point, but I hate taking selfies, so they all look fairly trash, and my hobbies make me sound like a sperglord.
>>672837152
that's like a race with canoes or something right?
>>672824266
Lol tell it, dont be worried
I shitposted on 4chan
>>672837235
Right on dude join the club
>>672821594
wild shitposting m8
>>672822901
australian astronomy
>>672835927
where you at?
>>672821594
I walked up Ayers rock and did a shit on it.
>>672837170
the fucks wickr
>>672837759
Burn City
>>672837813
Shitting on it is fine, abos shit outside all the time.
But you have to gall to walk up it, and to call it ayers rock, you fucking white dog, they were better before you came here, they had no booze and centrelink, they could just sit around all day, eat and be shit parents...
wait.
>>672827503
*Drink of convicts
>South Australia ftw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiCpW1pyZzw
>>672837923
It's a encrypted progam for messaging and shit its good. google it
>16 years old
>get pissed NYE with a mate
>end up in brisbane
>goon at the traino
>buy a 20 on the way back home
>maccas brekky at 5am
>smoke the 20 through a can the next day
Straya cunt
>>672838045
>>672830847
Had a friend there, met kangaroos and Chinese men. That's it.
>>672838157
Fucking piss in a bottle
although if you want to grow a mullet, live off the dole and drink red tins, all the best to you
>>672821594
Why is the aussie also a jew?
Didn't all aussies descent from convicts?
when in history has a jew ever been convicted for their crimes?
>>672838092
Yeah its good shit, messages self delete after a certain time period
>>672838372
Not all aussies were convicts
>south aussies
>>672838372
1938-1944, thats when
>>672826707
A-as a kid? Wasn't that show on like a year ago?
>>672828871
what happened to you flip flops while doing what?
>>672838699
fucking americans
Gave the missus a floggin yisday arvo
