Greentext story time.
(All true events that happened tonight. Typing on phone so be patient)
>be me, working part time job at local chip shop (britfag)
>small town in countryside
>people come for miles for this chippie
>best one in the area
>busy Saturday night shift
>really shitty evening but need that money.png
>finish taking someone's order and look up at the door
>ohshit.gif
>literal line of autists. Tards, and downeys.
>their "carers" thought it would be a nice Saturday treat
>busiest shift of the week
>a crocodile line of 13 Tards approach the counter
>look at coworker eyebrows raised
>cont?
cont im bored and want to read greentext
>>672375548
sounds like a good autist post
>>672375548
>first Downey approaches the counter
>put on my most winning customer service smile
>"good evening sir, how may I help you?"
>poshbritishvoiceoverload.mp3
>"CHIPPPO" screams tard A
>slams wallet against my till
>hundreds of pennies come spewing out
>wat
>whole shop is silent apart from the tards all lined up
>look pleadingly at their minders/carers
>"they will be paying with their pocket money!" A perky younger one pipes up
>ohgod.exe
>try to treat him like a human being
>even though he is full potato.gif
>"what size chips would you like sir? Small, medium or large?"
>boss watching me carefully
>shit you not, tard lifts his fucking shirt to reveal a huge extended stomach
>"BIG CHIPPPO FOR TÈEEEEE"
>Begins slapping stomach like a bongo
>look at his carers
>they clearly don't give a shit and shrug
>I look back at tardo no.1
Hand trying out on phone. Not prepped. Bear with me guys. Got 13 Tards to get through.
plz dont die thread
I love tard stories
>>672376680
MORE YOU FAG
this pleases me
bump
>>672376680
>say fuck it
>put him down for a large
> autists still rubbing his belly almost seductively
>"anything else?"
>he turns almost in slow motion
>opens drinks fridge we have in the shop
>throws out 4 rows
>cans all over the floor
>fucking hulk mode
>spent an hour stacking this fridge
>kid grabs one can from floor and slams it on counter
>it's a Dr pepper
>kid starts screaming "DOCTORRR"
>I put it through the till as quick as possible
>say the price to him and hope to God he just leaves
>it's something like £3.50
>STARTS THRUSTING COINS OVER THE COUNTER
>not just thrusting. Throwing.
>all copper coins
>mfw he pays in 2 and 1 pennies. Hundreds of coins. Stashed in his wallet. Bag. Hat. Jeans and I shit you not his
shoes.
>TARD carers act like this is normal.
>spend 5 mins getting him to pay the right amount
More incoming my good people
Just type everything out on note pad then copy and paste the selections.
>>672376680
I imagined the tard saying CHIPPO in a posh English accent
>>672377667
I'm on my phone. In bed. Recovering from this god awful ordeal. You'll just have to be patient faggots
>>672377449
ah that was good.
I did a chuckle
*loox @ watch and walx out of thread*
>>672377788
nice dubs faggot
bumpo for the chippo
bump for more
>>672377595
Tard A sort of calmed.
>look up
>there's 12 of the hungry faggots still to deal with.
>this job doesn't pay me enough
>killme.webm
>tard 2 is a super human creation
>full potato face
>but like 6'4 tall
>I'm 6'2 and this tardo made me feel small
> he doesn't want chippo
>this monster wants...
>"PEEEEEEEEEE"
>THE TARD HAS A THICK GLASGOW/TARD HYBRID ACCENT. THIS IS HOW HE PRONOUNCES PIES.
>"what type of pie would you like sir?" I say kind of taken aback at this new super mutant fallout 4 looking ass Scottish tard piss fetish mother fucked with the voice of Alvin and the chipmunks
>he deliberates
Going as fast as I can. Someone screencap this, never going to retell this on 4chan probably.
Bumparitos auto-square
>>672378744
Keep bumping faggots, this is fresh oc
>>672378744
This is getting good
Bumping for the potatoes.
>>672375548
screen capping as hard as I can
>>672378889
yis doublebump
PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>672379174
Better upload this to /r/4chan for them upbotes dude
>>672378744
>Tard decides on steak and kidney pie
>little more sane than his partner in crime.
>or so I thought
>this one
>he pays with a £50 note for a fucking 1.50 order
>wat
>he then turns to me and says "r u chippo man?"
>leans in real close
>"where chippo cum from"
>this hilarious fucking northern tard chipmunk voice
>resisted the urge to say "potatoes like yourself"
>boss pissing himself laughing
>the queue is literately up the street.
>it's taken me 15 minutes to deal with TWO of them
>busiest night all month
Continuing
fucking tards continue this thread
>>672379691
>"potatoes like yourself"
Kek
hitler did some stuff right
>>672379691
>r u chippos man
Well, are ya?
If this 404s pls continue in new thread
>>672379691
>am officially chippo man
>king of tards
>every tard now refers to me as chippo man
>colleague pissing herself
>next kid slides up real smooth and says
>"chippo man. Want sausage. Big sausage"
>carer intervenes "you don't like sausages davey" she says calmly
>tardrage.exe
>"SASSAGGG NOWWWWWW"
>I calmly reply
>"just the one sausage sir?"
>tard stops screaming
>looks me dead in the eye and says
>"5 sausage. I don't like bad lady chippo man"
>I die a little inside but send the order
>will continue this tards adventure in a bit, he pays normally
>he doesn't become interesting till the chippo man gives him his sausage
Screencap this, you niggers!
>>672380503
Some fag better be screencapping
>>672379691
>potatoes like yourself
"Screencap this pls"
Already multiple posts saying someone's screencapping
bumpo
>>672379976
He did a shit job at it then
>>672381007
<greentext><greentext/>
use this newfriend :)
>>672380503
I'll try and make this a little more Shortform. Or thread will die.
>the rest of the potatoes continue ordering
>some fag tard was insisting I could do him dog
>kept Barking
>"YOU DO DOG WOOOF WOOF"
>boss actually dies laughing in the back where only I can see him
>queue of 30 or so customers now amassed behind tards
>some impatient
>some wishing they'd brought popcorn
> one tard trips on his way to the counter
>shock.mp3
>"are you OK? "
>"yes chippo man"
>LICKS THE FUCKING FLOOR
>Just kind of stare in amazement at the potato lying on my floor trying to give it fellatio
>wishing I could fry all these potatoes into chips
>midget tard approaches...
First greentext story that's my oc. Doing alright?
>>672380503
Screencapping the whole thing, I need more OP !
>>672381587
You may refer to me as chippo man or chippo bro btw
>>672381587
>wishing I could fry all these potatoes into chips
im fucking dead
>>672381515
Not a newfag, just on mobile and too lazy to press 4 keys for a >
>>672381587
Doing well, don't go too shortform, the fun is in the details. We'll keep bumping, don't worry
>>672381587
shit man your story is flawlessly hilarious
THIS STORY is being exaggerated for comic effect
We need more chippo man
>>672381961
Who cares, after all "Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.". We're just here for the keks
>>672381587
we need moar chippOP
Chippo bro, best bro.
Bumping with porn
bump
SING US A SONG YOU'RE THE CHIPPO' MAN!
SING US A SONG TONIGHT
WELL WE'RE ALL IN THE MOOD FOR SOME CHIPPOS
AMD YOU'VE GOT US FEELING ALRIGHT
All hail chippo man
>>672381587
>Midget tard is mute. He just points at what he wants.
>when I don't understand what he's pointing at gets physically distressed
>jabbing at thin air
>"pineapple fritters? Burger? Chicken? Curry sauce?"
>midget tard panicky with each wrong guess
>mounts the counter.
>MOUNTS THE FUCKING COUNTER.
>I HAVE A MIDGET TARD ON MY COUNTER, WAVING AND GESTICULATING AT THE FOOD
>find out he wants mayonnaise.
>All that fucking effort for mayo
>make mental note to disinfect counter
>tard takes bottle of mayo
>pays
>opens
>drinks it like it was lemonade on a hot August day
>ALLOFMYWAT
Continuing. And I wish I had to exaggerate. I got a 50 quid bonus in cash for handling them tonight it was that bad.
>>672382579
fuck off with this punk head shit we are because of chippo man
>>672382652
Keep going, dumping some random stuff meanwhile
Im fucking dying laughing in my bed
I'm reading this to my dad xD
Jesus Christ OP, I don't give a shit if it's fake or not, this is ths best laugh I've had in a while
bump
>>672382250
And I need more of her
Lurkan
This shall go down in greentext history
>>672382652
>drinks it like it was lemonade on a hot August day
Refreshing, delicious mayo...
>>672377595
>here's why this is bullshit
Pennies
British
Pick one faggot
>>672383091
i tried
>>672376680
Didn't know British people used pennies.
Good to know they're upgrading.
Please keep it coming Chippo Man
bump
>>672383323
Terrible, yet somehow made me laugh, good job anon
>>672383304
I'd have both, thank you
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penny_(British_decimal_coin)
>>672382652
Have this feeling CHIPPO MAN is going down in history alongside RAVEN MAN
>>672382494
sauce me this chick!
>>672382652
>Get mole man midget potato off my counter
>look for his carers
>the two of them are outside having a fag break
>left me in charge of potato herd
>fml.exe
>the next tard I like to call
>potato bro
>he is pretty chill
>still a tard
>but makes an effort
>tries his hardest bless him
> he apologises for midget tard
>feel a lil better about the tards
>have a plan
>lean in and quietly say
>you can be a chippo man for a day, if you keep your friends quiet
>hand him a chip scoop I have behind me
>this was genius
>kids eyes light up
>"me chippo?"
>"sure thing"
>Christmas came early to potato bro
>looks around
>he spanks midget tard with scoop and tells him off
>"U ROOD TO CHIPPO"
>Have to take scoops off him
>pretty worth tbh
THE CHIPPO TRAIN NEVER STOPS
Chippo man if you work in Scotland I probably have been to your chippy lmao
>>672383304
We call them pennies, or pence. Google it fucking American uncultured swine.
>>672383304
this is bait right?
Are you really that retarded?
Did you get chips tonight from a certain famous chippie?
>>672383776
Unfortunately I just dropped the entire set available on her. Leaked on /b/ ages ago.
Can't say I remember her name either
>>672383842
I work down south actually. No idea where Scottish tard came from
>>672383002
what did he break?
>>672383952
Kek
>>672382444
Excellent.
>>672383793
yo this shit is fucking gold dude
This shit is cash
>>672383304
Try harder, faggot.
been capping every good response
Capping this entire thing. Gonna compile it into one picture when it's all said and done.
>>672384055
He/she broke nothing, they just shat their pants and fainted
I think
>>672383793
>>he spanks midget tard with scoop and tells him off
>>"U ROOD TO CHIPPO"
Posting in legendary thread
>>672384354
Thank you
>>672384385
On second thought i think they broke their right leg or something
C'mon Chippoman, give more chippo !
>>672384551
Ignorant pieces of shit...
This makes me happy
>>672384354
You wouldn't happen to have sauce on that chick? Or is she just a random camwhore?
Bump for Chippo Man
>>672383793
gime sum chipp chippo man
>>672384762
Dude her feet are ashy as fuck
If dubs this is a spidey thread
>>672384630
this ski got caught in the safety net and his abdomen was ripped open, he lostr 3.5L of blood by the time he reached hospital and then died,
>>672383793
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF7OnW4XDck
>>672384945
Fuck of spidy
>>672384055
>>672384385
>>672384630
No, during the fall he cut up his inner tigh and cut through the main artery that runs through there. Bled out a few hours.
Rumors are that he cut open/off way more than just his inner tigh.
>>672383793
>Some of the tards are easy to deal with
>fly through next 4 orders
>tard 8 or something comes along (idgaf which number, just highlighting the exceptional tards)
>he waddled
>leans on counter
>oh god that smell
>smells of human feaces
>turns out this kid had a nappy
>and he'd messed it
>kid scratches arse under trousers
>Hands over the £5 needed for the transaction with this hand
>I bet you can't fucking guess
>of course you can
>there's some shit under his fingernails
>the stench is magnificent
>such close proximity
>I look at my boss
>my coworker is in shock
>I let him have food for free
>nope.exe
>kid waddled outside to smoking carers
>"OH GOD JERSEY NOT AGAIN "
>Audible through the glass
Bump
Chippoman! We need more chipp
>>672384945
Spidey want some chippo ?
>>672384948
Damn that sucks
>>672378744
Got you fam
>>672384942
I don't give a fuck about her ashy feet
More bumping for chippo man
>>672385087
Oh okay thanks for telling
>>672385092
>jersey
You can't make this shit up
>>672385092
>"OH GOD JERSEY NOT AGAIN "
This is gold OP
Bumping 4 chippo
>>672385299
Turns me off... That hair is another deal breaker..
>>672384055
his thigh I think, then it severed an artery. I think he died.
Pic related
>>672385092
Fucking hell why are tards so fucking disgusting
When I was in highschool a tard tried to stab me in the face with scisors
this is fucking hilarious
>>672385299
>>672384762
Here you are
http://4archive.org/board/b/thread/646890316
>>672385728
Filename should be downatello
bump for el ehippo
>>672384948
Impaled on reo bar. Died.
>>672385561
>16
Personally got a massive fetish for short hair
And the feet are w/e and easily correctable
But w/e back to Chippo
>>672385092
Keep em coming, Chippo man
oldfag bump
My sides have ascended to a new plain of existence!
I'm not chippo man, but I have a short tard story for you guys if you want. It Happened a while ago, so I don't remember it that well.
>>672384354
that fucking face
Someone had better be compiling this. This is gold.
>>672385725
>http://4archive.org/board/b/thread/646890316
Ah, thank you brother.
>>672385908
>>672385908
By 16 you mean your 16?
>>672385092
You are legend, keep going!
Chippo man is on fireeee
Good story so far chippo man, proceed
>>672385839
I saw this video of a bitch eating a mice.. poor mice got his head stuck between her teeth, and the poor thing's head exploded. It triggered me waaay more than any rekt thread could
Bumping with Pr0n
Bump
>>672385839
...11/10 would fuck
Dunno why but...yep.
This is beautiful.
>>672386060
Actually I don't even remember typing that
Too perfect to be a coincidence though...
But nah, 27 fag here
>>672386114
Ah I seen that too recently somewhere I think a thread that's still up... Fucking sick fuck
This is greentext gold. Bunping for moar Chippo Man
I need MOAR
How did op survive?
CHIPPO
>>672377522
Stupid fuck thought she'd believe hiis dick was 3x larger than the average estimates for the average dick?
He should have mesured it out so his schlong appeared 6 inches in comparison.
Since he couldn't take the time to math, he didn't deserve sex anyway.
plz
Bumping for chippo man
>>672385092
Should explain that some orders can be handed over instantly. But we cook all of our fish and batter to order, so it tastes as good as it can be. So some of these tards are waiting around for their food still. Including sausage potato.
>next few tards come through
>difficult but manageable
>one screams and spits at me when I tell him we've sold out of saveloys
>slides slowly down my cheek
>wipe face and continue
>impressing boss
>looking for raise in salary
>the second from last potato monster arrives
>this is one twisted tard
>very deformed
>eyes not really in the right place, one practically on forehead
>no idea what he had
>looked like the thing from the goonies
>he is Irish
>think how Brad Pitt talks in guy richies "snatch"
>combine it with tard speech
>combine it with looking like the deformed mess from the goonies
>"Uuuhhhh... iferwun chippo mentwoways softcremarlwords "
>WTAF
>Potato bro actually understands horse jockey tard
>relays actual English to me
>wants 7 haddock
>LOLWAT
>roll with it
>desperate to get them out now. It's been 30 minutes.
This thread is legendary
>>672382652
Uncle Porkflaps
finally i witness epic greentext
This is going in the history books. Someone screencap and edit so I can save this
This actually sounds like hell.
10/10 thread
this thread
>tfw
>>672381587
Who is that?
I have screen shots of this entire thing
Will post to another thread after compiling, wait a couple hours
>>672387159
Same
>>672387159
Awesome. Nice job, anon.
>>672386665
What's 7 haddock ? Like, 7 whole fucking fish serving ?
bumpty bump, come on now do the bumpty bump
Oh my fucking God. Chippo man don't stop
This, my friends, is why I am a lurker. This greentext is 10/10.
>>672387313
yes, 7 whole fish or as whole as they usually are anyway
Keep up god's work anon
Chippo Man is the hero the tards need. All hail Chippo Man
Best thread I've seen in a while
Boompin fur chippo man
Moar plees chippo man
Bumping
>>672386065
that was amazing
bumping
Don't let this thread die
>"chippo man"
My sides!
>be 18 yr old me
>ima dumbass by then
>got a boner
>tried to fuck a garbage disposal
>drunk
>wake up
>dick is gone
>wtf
>get fresh air
>still gone
>holy shit
>call 911
>try to sleep it off
>wake up in hospital with broken arm
>realize I broke my arm
>never got my dick cut off
>whew
Wife asked what I'm laughing at. I told her. She informed me that I'm going to hell. I replied "Don't care, moar." Moar, OP. Moar.
>>672386665
>last tard. Not last post, we got more boys and girls.
>last newcomer is dull
>if I wanted to kill myself I'd climb to the number of his chromosomes and jump to his iq.
>nearing the point of wanting to now
>he wants a portion of chicken nuggets
>seems normal
>then he says
>"chippo man"
>I lean in to hear this magnificent beast of Allah's creation
> "wrap each nugger alone chippo"
>Twelve nuggets
>each to be wrapped in paper
>individually
>its like I'm being trolled or smth
>i try and argue and he says
>"WRAP ALONE CHIPPO MAN"
>don't argue with tards
>tard pays and retreats
>5 of my finest tards still waiting in the shop for food
>other customers gratefully run to till after a wait
>boss says to me
>"move over to wrapping, you started this job, you're going to finish it"
>Now I'm purely assigned to sending out tard food.
>potato for potatoes
Continuing
Finale coming soon boys. Going to post a selfie in the end so you can identify your lord chippo man <3
>>672387287
Incredible
just when I thought I could sleep tonight
Not everyday you get an actually gold greentext that's not printed
>>672387901
Get paid, pupper
>>672387749
Calm down mate. I know it's your first spliff but it'll wear off soon and you can go home to your mum.
waiting for op to finish
>>672387901
SHOW FACE CHIPPO
>>672387901
If boss didn't give you a raise and a bonus, fuck him up
Chippo man is godly
Delicious bread.
>>672381587
>wishing I could fry all these potatoes into chips
>>672387901
>if I wanted to kill myself I'd climb to the number of his chromosomes and jump to his iq.
>>672375548
KEK'D CHIPPO
can i haz ur babyz?
>>672388327
Proof 9/11 was fake, it would take so many more planes to actually take down a building.
Bumping
http://youtu.be/ghGUZvcEHew
Pic related
>>672377581
I wonder if it was their hand or the orphan's hand.
really fancy fish and chips now
>>672387901
>>if I wanted to kill myself I'd climb to the number of his chromosomes and jump to his iq.
Kek
>>672387901
Post face chippo man
>chippo man
>>672388327
took me a few seconds to understand the joke
I think Chippo Man is the new meme
>>672384907
I don't know why I love this so much
>>672383793
Omg OP I love you. Lost to this section. Can't wait to keep reading.
>>672387901
> potato for potatoes
Chippo man is a god
GUYS
STOP REPLYING TO THIS THREAD SO MUCH
we're 50 posts away of being auto-saged.
Check these fucking QUINTS bitch!
hurry up and respond you faggot, threads almost to 300
>>672388888
BUT CHECKED!
>>672388888
quints has spoken
>>672388888
Quints get
if this thread hits 300 op is a lying faggot who sucks nigger dick and is as retarded as any of the characters in his story
>>672388888
HOLY SHIT, CHECK MY DUBS
>>672388901
owned
>>672388888
mother of god
>>672388888
now everyones gonna checkem totally forgetting his wise words
>>672388888
Can't not chekkem. Auto sage imminent
>>672388888
Jesus
>>672388888
YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID?!?
If dubs potatos will forevermore be referred to as chippos
>>672387901
This is the time I found out. The tards. Had an agenda.
>begin finalising the potato cannibalism
>neatly wrap it all
>even 12 nuggets Individually
>I take pride in it, I'm good at it
>neatly hand wrapped 7 haddock (entire battered fish )
>5 sausages
>you know the drill
>hand them over one by one
>most thank "chippo man"
>small applause from the actual human beings in the shop
>that's when it kicks off
I need to stress this to you. Whilst you have no reason to trust me. Every single one of the events I've portrayed happened. All I did was play with the wording to make it sound better.
>carers come inside to collect tards
>"jersey" is in tow still stinking
>woman drops fag onto my floor and I lose it
>"WHY DON'T YOU PICK THAT UP YOU IGNORANT UGANDAN SCROTUM TICKLER, DO YOUR FUCKING JOB AND LET ME DO MINE IN PEACE"
>blame her and other male carer
>tards not to blame for shitty carers putting them here
>that's when it happens...
CONTINUING
Legendary post AND quints... It is truly a glorious day.
>>672388888
Then don't get glorius quints stupid cunt
>>672388888
you better make the new thread for chippo man u slav
>>672388888
Nice 5 8s mate.
MAKE NEW THREAD, 404 IMMINENT
>>672389182
I don't care that you didn't get dubs, potatoes are now known as chippoes, and going potato is going chippo, chippoing out, full on chippo, etc.
>>672388888
Oh the irony
>>672388888
Officially Czeched
I'm just replying to get this thread to 404 because I don't think the story is funny
OP HERE. MAKING A NEW THREAD TITLED CHIPPO MAN. CTRL F TO FIND IT. SCREENCAP THIS FUCKING THREAD LADS. NEVER RETELLING MY STORY
CHiipo man, make new thread and post URL, this one reached critical mass
>>672387901
get paid pupper
>>672387065
What the...
>>672389497
Jou ma se vet poes is nie snaaks nie. Die story is amazing
>>672389497
keep at it stranger, i admire your strenght
>>672389550
I have been anon
>>672389550
I haven't read it yet, but have done screencaps of everything.
>>672389550
You're a legend, mate
>>672387901
Get paid pupper
>>672389550
>NEW THREAD
>>672389698
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_______?Sexy?Sexy?Sexy?Sexy?Sexy?S
________?Sexy?Sexy____?Sexy?Sexy?se
_________?Sexy?Se_______?Sexy?Sexy?
_________?Sexy?Se_____?Sexy?Sexy?
_________?Sexy?S____?Sexy?Sexy
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_______Sexy
_______ Sexy?
________SexY
>>672389698
New Thread.
Chippo thread link needed!!
>>672389550
I want to have your children OP
And
I'm not even a woman
>>672389202
>YOU IGNORANT UGANDAN SCROTUM TICKLER
screening when it hits 301
Pls post url for new thread
niggers
>>672383002
>>672384055
Wiki has the answer.
Gernot Reinstadler (24 August 1970 – 19 January 1991) was an Austrian ski racer. He was regarded as among the most promising young talents of the Austrian downhill team of the early 1990s.
During training for the Lauberhorn race, while entering the finish S (German: Ziel-S), Reinstadler lost control and crashed into safety nets at full speed, where one of his skis became trapped. Reinstadler suffered a pelvic fracture and severe internal injuries.[1]
last
>>672383589
We've used pennies since before your shit hole of a country existed faggot.
Rekt
Hurry friend, Im still waiting for the end of a story!
