Dear /b/.
I will do literally anything for CS:GO on steam.
I will chop off my dick, put on panties, stick a coke bottle in my ass, anything.
A solid 6/10 wants to play this with me. We've dated in the past so I have nudes. I will post them immediately in addition to whatever the gifter requests. We broke up because I cheated, but shes trying to be friends again so this is one of many ways I'm going to win her back.
http://steamcommunity.com/id/lagulous
Gift it to me, then put your request in the comments.
Help me out, you won't regret it.
Pic related: Her. She lives in texas and I live in Nebraska. We've visted each other a few times.
tits
OP here. I also have a greenscreen and knowledge of video editing software. I can do special effects.
Here I am sitting at my gift copy ready to go ... but not motivated and your story is boring.
>>672287935
Are you serious about doing anything for CSGO? If so, I have a simple challenge. Nothing difficult.
>>672287935
more nudes faggot? name?
>>672288531
Give it to me. I need this game.
>>672288567
Not until I get the game.
>>672287935
Isn't it like $20? You can't manage $20?
>>672288702
I'm not going to just give it to you until you complete the challenge.
Take a blue or black sharpie marker and color half of your face. Provide a date and time stamp to prove it's actually you and write your steam ID on the timestamp. If you can do this, I will gift CSGO.
Heres a joke if you laugh gimmie skins at
https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffer/new/?partner=77940569&token
There's a cop on the side of the road, checking for speeders. Car flies by, cop sees 12 penguins in the back of the car. Cop hits his sirens and pulls the guy over.
Runs up to the window. "What are you doing with 12 penguins in the back of your car!?!?!"
The guy says "...I dunno..."
Cop replies "Well I think you should bring those penguins to the zoo!!!" "OK" the guy replies.
Next day, cop on the side of the road again. Same car flies by, 12 PENGUINS in the back of the car!! Cop hits the sirens, pulls the guy over, runs up to his window.
"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO BRING THOSE PENGUINS TO THE ZOO!!!"
Guy replies "I ALREADY DID!!! AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO THE MOVIES!"
>>672288992
I have a copy on standby also. but your boring as shit op
>>672288702
lol, okay faggot, her name is rosemary and here is some more
>>672288918
Not right now.
>>672288992
I don't have a sharpie... I'm a college student. I don't think of these things.
Also, I'd rather not do anything that requires I show my eyes. Don't wanna get Doxxed or something. Plus I have a brother who uses 4chan and I don't need him seeing this.
>>672289232
Goddamn Goddamn
>>672289253
I got a sharpie. I got u
>>672289232
Thats not her. My ex has blondish hair and belly piercings.
>>672289253
So basically you just want a simple handout. You're willing to put a coke bottle up your ass, cut your dick off, etc, but you can't do something like color your face? And how does a college student not have a marker? How about a pen then?
>>672289253
Nvm it's dry
>>672289377
ayyyyy
>>672289071
A man walked into his house and was delighted when he discovered that someone had stolen all of his lamps.
Remove your thumb and I'll give you CS Go
>>672289253
>i will do anything
>sorry bro. Cant do that
Yep. As always
>>672289421
I can't give /b/ a picture of my full face, no. I'm sure there are things you'd like to see that don't require seeing my full face. Because by the looks of it, you just want to be able to use my face. I'll tear a hole in my anus, but not post my face.
>>672289486
It's dry. Ummmmm. Huh. Ok you have fun
>>672289414
Do you know what fgts.jp is? you literally just downloaded that exact (op) picture from a texas thread. You're lying about something, and I doubt you have more considering you had to download it from here, so you sir, are a fucking nigger.
>>672289253
>Also, I'd rather not do anything that requires I show my eyes. Don't wanna get Doxxed or something.
How old are you to think that the internet is full of Hollywood magic hackers or that there are enough people to care about doxxing you (which isn't even the correct usage of the term).
>>672289563
>picks the one things I can't do and that will possibly get me in serious trouble
>op must not deliver
>>672289486
It's dry. Ummmmm. Huh. Ok you have fun now.
>>672289684
Or maybe I posted it in the Texas thread?
>>672289721
You said anything. Atleast tell us your exceptions in the first post so we know.
>>672289630
Tape the other half of your face
>>672289071
Some woman was breastfeeding on the bus today, and people kept screaming "you're disgusting, stop you monster" but in hindsight it probably wasn't the best time for a wank.
https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffer/new/?partner=77940569&token
I need p250 sand dunes stat
>>672289630
You can't color your face, take a piece of paper to write the time stamp and cover the top part of your face with your precious unique special eyes?
How about you just admit you're looking for a free handout and you're looking to trick someone into giving you a game with zero work put into it. Don't start a thread saying
>I will chop off my dick, put on panties, stick a coke bottle in my ass, anything.
>anything
then have hesitations or drawing a line. You obviously are not a man of your word. If you can lie so easily about something like that, how can we trust the rest of your post?
>>672289894
Pretty much only exceptions are things that will cause indefinite damage to me, or things that show my face.
>>672289377
Ayy back.to.back dubs
>>672289850
nope, because the image you posted has a download tag that is different from the original poster you stupid fuck. just stop. Man up, admit youre a lying faggot, and maybe someone will pity you enough to give you your request.
>>672290043
>ill cut off my penis
>please nothing that will cause indefinite damage
Im out
>>672289948
I can do that. Seriously, thats all you want?
>>672290043
You're not getting shit then for lying from post 1. I don't even know why I'm in this thread anymore when OP is this much of a pussy to go through with his promises.
>>672290176
You lost your chance, faggot
>>672290149
>download tag
>mfw
>>672290149
Da fuq is a download tag
>>672290288
Lmao, k. Figures you were just looking to troll. Bet you don't even have CS:GO.
>>672290218
I'm just here to see other people espouse his idiocy.
>>672290176
You have 5 minutes before I lose all interest. By the way, didn't you say a few posts above you didn't have a marker? Suddenly you have one now?
>>672290218
>asks one question
>refuses to ask another
>mfw if you asked any number of other questions, I'd deliver
>mfw faggots just want to cry
>>672290409
Bitch. I didn't even make the offer. I'm another anon. Fuck off
>>672290462
No he said to draw on a piece of paper and hold it over the top part of my face. I have a pencil, I don't need a marker.
What do you want from me? I just want this game man.
>>672289511
Can't believe I laughed at this
>>672289511
Why the fuck did I laugh?
>>672290361
when you upload an image to 4chan they give it a unique tag, which varies over time and with changes to the image. when another user downloads it, the image receives this unique tag. OP's tag is FRgkrRIeTIErTMzab6NA2g, if you search it on fgts you'll see that his image is different than the original poster in the texas thread.
>>672290649
>draw on a piece of paper
Where did I say that?
>You can't color your face, take a piece of paper to write the time stamp and cover the top part of your face with your precious unique special eyes?
Color half of your face, not color a piece of paper. You write the time stamp on the paper. Use a pen if you must. There's no way in hell you can't have a pen. A PEN.
I'll extend the time another five minutes since you seem to be mentally slow.
>>672288992
I'll fuckin do this for CSGO.. Really wanted to get my girlfriend it but I've been broke... Question is will you deliver... or will I wind up being an asshole with a blue fuckin face?
>>672290886
...So what you're saying is.
OP uploaded it to Texas thread: Got a tag.
Then uploaded it again to this thread, and got another tag.
Or is your retarded ass saying that 4chan SCANS EVERY FILE UPLOADED TO SEE IF IT WAS UPLOADED BEFORE?
>>672291020
My father was killed in a pen incident my family have been strictly quill and ink for 32 years
>>672291050
If you provide the time stamp and your ID on the same time stamp, I will give it to you and allow you to deny OP of his chance.
>>672290886
Shit. Never knew that. Thanks anon
I have a few spare copies. Give me the nudes, and her snapchat AND sharpie/pen/equally sized dildo into pooper and POST IT, TIMESTAMPED. and Etc etc etc.
Make it worth it OP
>>672291189
Alright.. Hold on. Fuck me, man. lol. Her steam is http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198213207247/ if the thread gets 404'ed before I'm back. Need to grab my sharpie and paper and... Fuck. xD
>>672291020
Keep the thread alive while I try to do this in a timely manner. Not easy to color skin with a pen.
>>672291164
>quill and ink
Is this fucking 1773?
And if you have the inkwell use the fucking inkwell
>>672290886
So how do you use fgts.jp to get the tag? I've never heard of this before.
>>672291384
My auntie died in an inkwell related accident also, we are a strictly inkless family and use slate now.
>>672291294
Not her profile. All of her friends have CS:GO. NT faggot
>>672291737
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the good shit go౦ԁ sHit academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Baaddd ShIT , and I have over 300 confirmed (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) . I am trained in warfare and I’m the top shiter in the entire US armed mMMMMᎷМ . You are nothing to me but just another Baaa AaAadDddD Sh1t . I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, thats what im talking about right there right there . You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of go౦ԁ sHit across the USA and your IP is being traced right there rightthere , so if i do ƽaү so my self i say so , you better prepare for the storm, НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ . The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, I could be right there rightthere and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ). Not only am I extensively trained in mMMMMᎷМ combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Good shit Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little BAAaAaAaAd shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking shit. Ur fucking dead
>>672292158
Stop
>>672291294
I got my Sharpie... If nobody delivers for me then I'm fucked...
>>672291737
And yeah, it's my girlfriend. Her only friends on Steam are my buddies that we usually play with when I bought her Payday a while back
>>672291020
IN LUCK. FOUND SHARPIE.
Roomate is asleep so couldn't turn on light, but I have a flashlight.
>>672291050
>>672291294
>>672291315
How long does it take to complete this challenge? It's 3:07 am here, I'm drunk (hence why I'm even bothering gifting anyone) and impatient. Finish this before I pass out.
>>672292403
That is dark as fuck, how the hell do I know if you even did it? If you did do it, write down your steam ID on the paper and write down what time it is so I know you're legit and just didn't take your time googling around some obscure picture. Make sure to take a goddamn better lit picture this time cause I can barely see anything.
>>672291151
OP, you stupid piece of shit. First off, you can drop the whole you uploaded this to the texas thread horseshit because I am the one that uploaded it, hence the other pictures of the girl. the original poster can upload it as many times as they want and always have the same tag and filename, its only when niggers try to steal that you get a different filename on the tag. Secondly, the filename is what has changed specifically, the unique tag stays the same. And yes, 4chan has an algorithm that scans every photo uploaded to create these unique tags. So long as its within a reasonable period of time, and no changes have been made to the image, the same image will generate the same unique ID. This is useful for banning specific users, finding known cp images, etc. When your dumb ass downloaded this image from the texas thread, 4chan gave you a new filename based on this unique ID so that people like me can see when idiots like you are stealing their pictures.
TLDR, OP is a lying nigger faggot, who has no girl, and is just trying to scam you innocent fuckers. Send his steam account spam and scat porn.
>>672292488
Pass out then fagit
>drunk awake at 3am getting kids to put sharpie on their face
>literal faggot
>>672292488
I did it/ Here: >>672292403
>>672292727
I may have been drinking but I'm no sucker who will just hand out games for free. If you're not willing to get a job or spend your own money, then do something that puts in some effort than typing out your ID.
>>672292697
>mfw your bait is bad because I literally remember uploading this
>>672292830
How about you read this too >>672292661
Did it..
http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198213207247/
>>672292904
Well I did what he wanted.
>>672292257
Bullshit, this is a FB image. GG tho
>>672292904
I dont need handouts i already have csgo im mostly just kekking and trying to maybe give the thread a little less shitness
>>672292403
>>672293020
Fuck. Replied to the wrong cuck
>>672292830
You and I have a very different definition of 'did it'
>>672292830
This is how it's done>>672292954
>>672292661
>>672292488
please read this post before giving this faggot anything
>>672292697
>>672291537
you have to download the image from 4chan, and then reupload it to fgts. Even if I have the original, I still need to download it in order to get 4chans tag, as my original image is just the image itself. What this means is that you can search for your images all day on fgts and think no one is stealing them, but if you download it from the chan and then search, it'll show you every time its ever been posted. I figured all this out when hunting for nudes of girls I know.
>>672292954
>mfw she already have the game
>mfw the faggot did it for nothing
>>672293368
She doesn't have it. I tried to get her to play by Family Sharing from my account but that shit doesn't work.
>>672292661
Are you serious? Well then fuck I guess I'm not getting the game. Fucking goosechase. I gave you a photo, you can clearly see a photo of a guy holding up a piece of paper with this exact date on it.
Pop it into google images if you want. But If my roomate knew about this he would flip and tell everybody on campus.
Seriously what happened to when B would just say "Send your porn dump and I'll give it to you man." I'm going out of my way to please you people.
Anyway I can't write anything else on my face. I woke my roomate up washing it off and had to tell him I was fucking around with the pen while programming, and didn't realize the cap was off.
If anybody wants me to actually do something and wants to not be a faggot and lead me on a goosechase, I'm here until thread gets deleted.
>>672292954
You should at least be online if you want the game you dumbass. How the hell do you beggars think gifting works?
>>672292954
Get your own thread faggot. I even put my Steam ID in the OP.
>>672293576
>mfw OP's mad cause somebody deliver
>>672293492
>dark as fuck picture
>want a clearer picture with a better time stamp
>"hurr it's fake"
Fuck you you coward. How the hell can I see anything when there's barely any lighting? You think that ink is going to go away just cause you have the lights off? You don't think your roommate won't see it when he sees you in the daylight? Don't guilt trip me into getting a game just because you can't do the task.
>>672287935
don't have cs go because its a shit game.
>>672292943
You didn't, for various reasons I have already explained.
I really wanna see this faggot get doxxed or shit on in some way. I'm tired of his lying ass.
>>672293492
I saved the picture and when she gets back on, Im linking her to it and calling you a faggot. We can have a 3 way if you'd like
>>672287935
> will do anything for CS: GO
> girl wants to play it with me though I cheated on her
> i'll post nudes of her so I can win her back
Suck a couple cocks, OP.
>>672287935
pretty fucking pathetic if you cant even afford fucking CS:GO, almost as pathetic as this desperate cry for attention
>>672293697
I'm mad because I came on here two years ago when I turned eighteen and was just in college and broke as fuck and asked "Hey guys I'm hungry as shit, buy me a pizza and I'll post nudes of my ex" and then somebody bought me a pizza, and then I posted nudes of my ex, and we all left happy.
Now 4chan is just everybody calling everybody faggots and people trying to extort people for other things.
Its not my fault that the drunk guy refuses to settle for anything less than the one fucking thing I can't do.
Add me on steam, will buy you a copy after work.
Steam: Basxe
>>672293785
also I already posted all the nudes this faggot has of her, as he stole them from a texas thread about two hours ago.
>>672293710
Pick literally anything else. I can't get caught man.
I'l make you a website called isuckballs.tk where it has nothing but a photo of a guy sucking his own balls.
But you only want the one thing I can't do: which is turn on the light.
>>672293856
College man. A bright future isn't cheap.
>>672293951
So you're willing to put shit up your ass with your roommate in close proximity but getting your face colored is a tragedy? You didn't fucking deliver at all with your halfassed attempt. You think you completed the challenge by giving me a poorly lit picture? It's like if you took a blurred photo of bigfoot that comes out as a brown smudge and going "IT'S BIGFOOT, HE'S REAL SEE THIS PICTURE I TOTALLY TOOK IT!"
And this "muh old 4chan" sympathy trip is pathetic. 4chan was never like this and you're just fishing. You didn't do it, you didn't complete the challenge, and I hope your girlfriend finds out about this thread.
>>672293951
It still works that way you stupid fuck, /b/ has never helped lying cucknugget attention whores like yourself.
>>672294030
Sure.
Done. Remember, ID is Lagulous. Don't spam (or actually give the game) to anybody who isn't /id/lagulous
>>672294309
he doesn't actually have a girl, the steam is for himself. he's a nigger. But I do hope he gets aids or has a spider crawl in his penis while he's sleeping tonight
>>672294309
lol
>>672292954
I delivered and I didn't get the game and now I'm stuck with this shit, lol. gg /b/
>>672294127
So if I asked you to stick 5 pens up your ass and take a time stamped pic as proof, you going to half ass it again with a dark picture? How would I or anyone know you did it if you can't turn on the light at all? You're a liar and a coward. You were not going to do "anything" at all. How could you when you keep coming up with this "can't get caught" excuse every time? I came up with something that retains your dignity. Nothing up the butt, nothing involving showing your dick, just something that could be interpreted as a simple college prank because you passed out drunk from partying. You could have easily turned it into a fun story.
These are my copies of CSGO and you don't dictate what challenge you do for them. I said color your face. I didn't stutter type or intend something else. I said what I said.
>>672294337
No, it really doesn't. Because I said "Hey I'll do anything" and expected "Stick a dumbell up your ass" or "Post nudes" so I didn't think to mention I didn't want to show my face. So when I refuse just one request? I get a bunch of nine year olds "BUT YOU SAIDDDDDDDDD"
That wouldn't have happened before. /b/ would have been fine with a dumbell in my ass or my nude dump.
>>672294222
I mean...you do realize how easy it would be to save 20 dollars right? you're the kind of person we have in college? You literally have next to nothing in the fucking life skills department
Send me a game :p
>>672294767
You only pick the shit that will get me caught.
I'm somehow doubting you would give me the game, even if you have it.
>>672294826
I would tell you why I don't have money, but you'd explode like all the rest of the modern-day-/b/-dwellers and say "nobody gives a shit" or "tits or gtfo" or something like that.
Nonetheless, there is a legal reason why I have no money at the moment, and won't for the next year.
I've tried to do mini-jobs that pay in cash, but I always end up spending it on food or other necesseties. My roomate is nice to pay rent for me until I get this shit with my father sorted out. I've been wanting this game for a while and had this faint image in my head of when /b/ bought me that pizza and thought I'd try again.
>>672294775
>>672294933
How can you use the word "anything" preceded by fucked up shit like "chop off my dick" or "stick coke bottle up my ass" and not expect ANYTHING? Are you that dense or lacking knowledge of the english language?
FINE. Put a bottle up your ass. I want a picture and a time stamp. I don't want this dim lighting crap that you can't see anything in, I want a goddamn clear picture. Or are you too afraid to turn on the light and get caught? This is your last chance. You seem so adamant about doing ANYTHING ELSE other than showing your face. I want to see a large bottle penetrating the anus. Don't halfass it and clinch it with your buttcheeks. PENETRATION. And this picture better be clear!
>>672294933
Ur a fkn pussi wow faggot queer kys tbh fam
>>672294775
Youre a lying cucknugget semenpuking faggot for trying to claim soneone elses girl/nudes as your own, and continuing to be a lying sack of shit about it. Stab your dick with a knife after carving the word "vidalia" into your thigh, take a pic with flashlight. then I'll buy you cs:go.
>>672295201
Sigh.
Clear light=turn light on=get caught by roommate who is the only thing keeping me alive right now. If I get caught, I will have to deal with way too much.
I appreciate you trying to help me man, but your requests all happen to be something I can't do. I know you're going to think I'm a liar or something, but I'll have to respectfully decline the game from you since we can't reach a reasonable agreement.. Thanks anyway. I'll have to get the game either some other way, from another 4chan user, or i don't know.
Like I said, thanks though. I really do appreciate you trying to actually give me the game despite my being so stubborn. I don't want to waste your time anymore. You can go now. Sorry again.
>>672295193
you are like a fucking textbook of attention whore. I am signing off, I can only hope you get mutilate yourself and no one delivers you fucknut.
>>672295193
you know, you may be right. I really do not care about your reasons behind being broke, but the simple fact that you decided to entertain the act of covering half your face in fucking sharpie just so someone you don't even fucking know will take pity on you is disgusting. Man the fuck up, you really want that game? Literally skip lunch for like 3 days, fucking 20 dollars right there. Stop looking for the easy way out, have some fucking dignity.
I have no reason to not have money I just don't
Can I get a copy?
[email protected]
>>672291164
Fuckin kek
>>672295652
I don't have any money. Zero dollars. Other people pay for my everything until I'm 21. Until my shitbag father stops being a shitbag, I'm living off my welfare mother and mcdoanlds working roomate. I've wanted this game for about a year now. If I could, I'd save up the money man. I really would.
SHARPIE IN POOPER OR GTFO!!!!!!!!
>>672295872
and let me guess, you just cant seem to find a job anywhere
>>672295574
What I'm hearing from you is you can't do a goddamn single challenge whatsoever. First you were afraid of your face being found out, "please involve something in my ass", now that I'm calling your bluff you're going back to the "muh roommate" excuse. It's easy to take blurry pictures in shit lighting and say you've done it. I fucking even increased the brightness on my screen and still can't tell what the fuck I'm seeing.
You're a piece of shit. There is no "reasonable agreement" because there is LITERALLY NOTHING you can do according to your logic of "not getting caught." You really think I'm going to give anything when any and all proof you provide is absolute tripe? Do you think that's how real life works? You just tell people you did your job and become entitled to payment on faith alone?
Next time you say anything, think before you speak. Don't use the word "anything" don't make promises you cannot keep. Don't try to act sad and like a victim when people expect you to go by your word.
>>672292697
Trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrigrd
>>672295872
you have a roommate that can find a job at mcdonalds and you can't find a similar part time minimum wage job? if you can't even get a job as shitty as a fast food restaurant then you have failed even worse than shit.
>>672296013
Oh no, there are plenty of jobs. In fact I've tried ever since I was sixteen to get a job but my father always manages to get in the way of it. At current, I'm waiting to hear back from a lawyer because my father doesn't want me living with my mother so he has basically kdinapped all my legal identification including my Social Security Card, Birth Certificate, Insurance cards, etc.
They are legally his but I can't do anything until I have them. I'm not even me right now. Had my mother divorced him three years ago, I wouldn't even be in college.
Rest assured as soon as I get him in court, I will have my job and finally be abl to provide for myself.
They hire retarded ppl no way there is no job for you
>>672296424
you do realize that you cant just fucking wait for that shit to happen? You really think that you can get your father in court if you cant even get ahold of 20 dollars??
>>672296107
You are only asking things that require aparant god-tier lighting. Unless you're going to jack off to my penetrated asshole, then you should be happy with something actually useful. Like your own website featuring stairs. Or a comic about global warming starring whatever you want. Or just about anything that doesn't require what you deem as decent lighting.
Like I said, I really shouldn't waste your time anymore.
>>672296424
Paul Bunyan isn't as tall a tale as this bullshit. You can't even afford $15 for a video game, how can you hire a lawyer? Lawyers don't work for free nor is this is a case where a lawyer would work on a contingency basis.
>>672295872
Get a fucking job faggot. Get the fuck off of 4chan at fuckin 3 in the morning wake up get a job and fucking profit. Guarantee you your cuck fucking room mate hates you and that you probably suck his cock to stay there.
>>672296584
I'm letting my mother handle it... She lives in Arizona right now so it's difficult to coordinate everything. I don't know too much bout the legal system because my shitbag father basically kept me captive my entire life, so I can't do this on my own. Especially not without any money.
>>672287935
timestamped sharpie in pooper in a well lit environment and I'll actually delivar.
>>672296710
Sigh.
My mother.
>>672296714
Read the other posts.
>>672296920
Yeah i posted fucking slowly lol
>>672296656
No you don't dictate what you do for the gift, I've established this. And did you really think you could say shit like "coke bottle in my ass" and not expect CLEAR UNABASHED proof? You think anyone would give a free pass to grainy pictures? Fuck you and I hope your roommate kicks you out and you fucking starve. You cry about not having a job but you don't realize that there are plenty under the table work that exist out there that don't require all sorts of ID? Shit man, illegal mexicans can get a job without proper paperwork, why can't you? ILLEGAL MEXICANS CAN GET A JOB
How much is this fucking game? I'm starting to really feel sorry for this poor bastard
>>672296823
your tale just keeps getting increasingly geared towards attempting to instill pity for your "messed-up" life. Plenty of people have had lives like yours, if it's even true.
And you don't see them on 4chan in the wee hours of the night begging for people to suggest things to shove in your ass for literal chump change.
Do you see the fucking problem? You are the kind of person this world doesn't fucking need. Fucking moocher. You think because your life sucks that you deserve to be pampered? Fuck off.
>>672296882
Your welfare mother? Dude gtfoutta here
>will do anything for cs:go
>literally whines like a bitch at every suggestion
>will shove coke bottle up my ass
>can/will not prove he has shoved something in his ass
>>672297021
that's exactly what he wants, some kind of fucked up validation from people he's never met
>>672296981
Because I'm not an illegal mexican. I'm a twenty year old who was homeschooled his entire childhood and has only ever had contact with the real world for two years.
I'm not dictating, I'm suggesting. I don't even have a camera that does what crystal-clear shit you're looking for. I'm sure if you were willing to give me the game for something as useless as something up my ass, you would be willing to do it for something more useful.
Like I said man, you're asking me to do something I can't do, period. If you have something else, I'd be happy to give you audio of my fapping with lube. But otherwise... I really can't help you help me.
>How much is this fucking game? I'm starting to really feel sorry for this poor bastard
Just hold on a sec while I do the math;
sharpie + pooper = OP
Interesting!
>>672287935
>I will chop off my dick
>>672297021
Like fifteen dollars.
Yes, I'm that fucking poor.
I wouldn't even tell anybody I don't have the money for this game outside of 4chan.
If my ex knew I couldn't afford this game, she would never talk to me again.
OP you could have just colored your fucking face, went into the bathroom. Timestamped. Take a Silent fucking picture. Upload. You would have had cs:go by now but noe all you have is a bunch of faggots telling you how worthless you are. Retard.
>>672297168
Yeah, I don't even have that much of a messed up life. I'm not even mooching. I, a college student with no money due to a legal dispute, am asking for less than twenty dollars. Something that for my entire life seemed like a huge amount of money, but am now realizing it's a fraction of a quarter of what most people make in a month. I mean hell, half of you probably have more money in your fucking couches.
I'm not instilling pity. Had they not asked about why I'm not getting a job, I would never have said anything about it. I don't care about validation or whatever. I literally just want to get a fucking game a like and at the same time score brownie points with a cute girl.
>>672297539
This and ill deliver
>>672297324
>something I can't do
You said you will put a coke bottle up your ass. I'm expecting proof and suddenly it's impossible. Something as useless as something up your own ass? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE THE SUGGESTION IN YOUR OPENING POST. I'm also pointing out the fact it's pathetic that illegal immigrants can find a job and you can't. Saying "I'm not a mexican" is the whole fucking point. Illegal immigrants without papers and with the real serious fear of being deported can find paying jobs. Are you black? Are you a spic? Do you have similar fears? Go the fuck outside and find a waitering job at a diner. Go do landscaping. ANYTHING! There are so many jobs out there that don't ID and just pay under the table. You're just fucking lazy as shit and want free free free with typing as your only real effort.
4chan didn't change at all. 4chan has always called out bullshit like you.
>>672297480
I took a photo in the bathroom with a flashlight, but this isn't a huge dorm. So turning on the light woke him up when I went to wash it off. Had I known in the first place that I was going to need good lighting, I would have taken the picture as soon as I turned the light on, then washed my face really quickly before he had a chance to ask what I was doing.
>>672297636
I'm done with you, it's pointless.
Despite my previous replies, I don't find you worthless OP, nobody's worthless. You just don't fucking have the effort to make 20 dollars by yourself, and that disgusts me. I hope you seriously rethink your life.
By the time youre out of college, I hope you realize how to survive in the real world, because right now your future looks pretty bleak.
>>672297787
Illegla immigrants have the wherewithall to come here illegally and find jobs. I live in nebraska and don't know how to use an ATM.
I already did what you wanted me to do. I wrote on my face, threw a timestamp in there, and you complained about the quality. I'm not going to stick a coke bottle halfway up my ass, take a timestamp with the lights on, then attempt to cover up the smell of shit on a coke bottle just so you can say "You know I really didn't like your handwriting on that timestamp. Another!"
There are nine million things you could ask for, but you only want the things I can't do. And you can't convince me to do it so I would just take your CS:GO and leave now if you don't have anything else. I'm not going to potentially ruin the next year of my life for the 20$ a stripper makes in .5 seconds.
Hi
>>672297636
You're the one who keeps bringing up more and more sympathy bullshit. It should be obvious even with you from your alleged time on 4chan that these kinds of stories are told for the specific reason of fishing for sympathy. You just didn't expect people to be skeptical and have decent logic reasoning skills to deduce how much bullshit you're pulling out of your ass.
op is a lying nigger
>>672297793
Why the fuck do you have to answer to your fucking boyfriend? If hes already paying for you to live with him, you must be sucking a mean dick. He knows you dont have the money. Why not just tell him you offered to do retarded shit so that 4chan would give you cs:go and you can *maybe* get pussy from it down the line. He'd probably respect that shit or call you the retarded faggot you are, either way you get the fucking game and possible pussy
>>672297988
I know it does man. It really does. Truth be told I'm pretty scared. I have no idea what I'm going to do when I'm out of college. I don't know how to buy a house, get a bank account, do my taxes, buy a car, get insurance, anything. It's really frightening.
Glad to know you don't think I'm worthless. God knows 99% of the people on this thread do.
>>672298181
You are bringing up things that I have a reason for doing. If you accuse me of being lazy and not gettting a job, I'll tell you why I can't.
>>672298245
And yet he know how play and use the internet to beg?
>>672298245
Google how to do all of those things. Fuck its how im learning and im doing fucking fine
>>672298134
>There are nine million things you could ask for, but you only want the things I can't do
You. Are. Literally. Retarded.
I'm calling your bluff and asking you to do the one thing that you yourself have said several times way earlier in the thread that you are willing to do. Did you create this thread with the expectation people won't want proof? Are you seriously this dense?
>"You know I really didn't like your handwriting on that timestamp. Another!"
Now you're just trying to come up with reasons to back out of shit YOU said you would do. Nice mental gymnastics to pussy out.
And the fact that illegal immigrants are willing to find work makes YOU look bad. Why are you saying illegal immigrants' willingness to find work and actual ability to obtain work as a bad thing? This doesn't make them look bad, it makes YOU look bad. They are willing to go out and seek one out. You won't even make the fucking effort. This makes YOU look bad.
>>672298226
Because I'm pretty sure he's a closeted gay. He avoids gayness like the plague. Won't even do anal with girls because he says it's what gays do. So I have two outcomes. Either 1. He sees me, hates that I stuck it in my ass, gets appalled and either kciks me out or never talks to me again, or 2. He is actually gay, and he tries to come on to me, so I have to leave myself.
>>672298469
Dude
>>672298469
Wtf
>>672298465
Dude if you don't have anything else for me to do, then leave. I want the game but not enough to jeaopordize my friendship with Chris.
>>672298437
That will definitely be my first stop.
So I guess that marks the end of this thread. Sorry to waste all your time. I really just wanted a game, didn't think it would be this big of a hassle haha.
Hope you all have a good night.
I don't have a bank account/CC and I have to pay 32$ for 20$ steam wallet card
Just save up .5 or 1$ every day and you will afford csgo with skins
>>672298699
IT WASNT BEFORE? Have you never fucking tried ANYTHING?
>>672298653
YOU are the one who started this thread saying
>I will do literally anything for CS:GO on steam.
>I will chop off my dick, put on panties, stick a coke bottle in my ass, anything.
Don't bite off more than you can chew, don't promise more than you can commit, and stop being a worthless piece of shit. I gave you some advice on finding a job and getting money and you just keep going "muh dad" "muh college" "i'm not a mexican"
Thousands of college students are able to get jobs without a single problem. Thousands of illegal aliens are able to get jobs. Why can't you? Seriously, why can't you? Your mom isn't stopping you. Your dad stopping you? Stop bringing that up and selectively ignoring the fact that people have been able to get jobs that don't require documentation, that there are jobs without documentation. I've been giving you advice, telling you things, and you're just acting like a victim. "Woe is me, I just cannot go out to get a job. I just can't"
>>672298887
Well considering none of Taxes or Insurance is needed right now, I didn't need to.
As far as getting a job, yeah I've looked on google with little luck.
We should really try to find out where OP lives and get his roommate to get him kicked out. It's horrible but I think it would be funny to imagine an incompetent OP actually dying on the street because he's too inept to survive without his hand being held.
>>672298954
Sigh.
Every form of legal work require ID. Which I don't have.
Any other work (not illegal, but not officially legal. Like mowing lawns.) Either requires an item I don't hav (E.g. a lawn mower) or requires the common sense I wasn't raised with.
I've tried setting up accounts for online work, such as freelancing. But the only ones that don't require social security and tax info have given me zero luck: as all my clients were inactive.
>>672294030
i've been reading this train wreck of a thread.
don't give that faggot anything.
if you are rich, give it to everyone else that is asking for it, just to let this retard op know that scamming and being a bitch doesn't pay off.
>>672299159
Yeah, I would honestly be laughing as I died.
But really, I would probably just have to drop out of college and move back in with my mother.
>>672298985
you know what I think? I think you're just a weirdly self-entitled arrogant narcissist who can't bring himself to do what he considers jobs meant for those "dirty" immigrants or the ones "beneath" you. You can literally be a fucking bagger at your local grocery store and you'd make decent money as long as you can fucking handle bagging food.
>>672299193
Sigh. Ok.
>>672298985
Dude its fucking easy. Go to any town (preferrably one within your transportation range) and literally go up to any building that looks like it sells or makes shit and ask for an under the table job. Ive gotten 3 jobs doing just that and they were
Waiting 5.50 + killed on tips
Gardening 10/h
Mowing lawn 8/h
Apply yourself dude
>>672294746
maybe if you didn't post an obvious alt account that has seen less than 6 hours of play...
>>672299295
I'm pretty sure you're just trying to make up a reason why I don't deserve the game.
>>672299295
oh, and btw most bagging jobs are paid under the table through tips, and nobody gives a fuck because it's such a lowtier job. stop saying you need legal documentation for any job if you don't even know what youre talking about
>>672299374
You think that will work? I'll definitely go try that tomorrow morning.
>>672299374
Btw i was homeschooled too
Literally zero friends
>>672299440
I applied for a job at a local grocery store and they asked to see my drivers license or social security card.
>>672299542
Right?
>>672299439
and I'm pretty sure you know I'm right and defaulting back to what you consider your innocent plea for pity
>>672299179
>Every form of legal work require ID
Wrong
>Any other work (not illegal, but not officially legal. Like mowing lawns.) Either requires an item I don't hav (E.g. a lawn mower)
You know what a landscaper is? They work for landscaping companies/business that provide that shit to you. AND FUCKING AGAIN, MEXICANS CAN GET WORK WITHOUT PAPERS. Plenty of jobs pay under the table. LEGAL OFFICIAL jobs (obviously nothing white collar but come the fuck on).
>or requires the common sense I wasn't raised with.
Giving you a game only does more harm because you wouldn't learn anything other than acting like a pathetic welfare case will get you free luxury past time items. Everyone would be doing you a favor not giving you shit because it means you have to actually learn to be resourceful.
If your story is true, then I feel horrible for your mother. She has a worthless piece of shit for a son who is proud of admitting he lacks common sense and even prouder that he couldn't find ANY form of paying work. I feel bad that this woman will likely have to take care of you well into your 40s or until she dies while every other human being can take care of himself.
>>672299594
Like i said go to literally every fucking building that looks like it has people with money in it. Ask them if you can fucking pick up their parking lot for them for like 10 bucks. I guarantee you will get some kind of money
Can we seriously just /thread this fucking shit tier thread since everybody is too fuckin pretentious to just give OP a 15 dollar game
If I wasn't paranoid about him somehow tracing it back to me and this all being a scam I'd give it to him myself
I mean seriously I have a part time job and could buy this for him with no problems, you cunts have no excuses other than you want to see him dance
hope you get your shit sorted OP, college was a bitch for me even without arbitrary fatherly troubles
>>672299594
>shit that never happened
It's a grocery store, not a Fortune 500 company. Places like that don't go out of their way for people that will likely leave them very soon since it's not something you should keep as a stable career.
>>672299617
Then leave man, we don't need you anymore.
>>672299736
Well I'm going to college, so it's obvious I'm trying to do more than be a dirtbag. But ok.
>>672299876
You don't get to have a high ground or an attitude like that when you're so worthless.
>>672299776
I'll try. Pretty demeaning I'll admit, but It will have to do.
>>672299832
because we had some obligation to fulfill his request in the first place right?
>>672299858
Then explain why they did..?
>>672299993
It will lol
>>672299952
I'm not the guy on 4chan going out of his way to call some kid in college worthless.
>>672300105
nah youre just the guy on 4chan offering to shove bottles up his ass for a fucking game
Btw you'd probably have an easier time getting the game in a general beg thread than here.
Abandon ship!
>>672300027
no but you cant sit here and tell me you were planning on giving him the stupid game. i mean if youre going to force the guy to possibly fuck major shit up why not just give him the game. fucking his roomates relationship is of no benefit to you, and its 20 bucks regardless of what he does. just get the dude to make you a fuckin cum tribute or something.
>>672300208
I got some screencaps, and i know some of the most active giftanons.
He won't be getting shit that soon.
>>672300197
Yeah, you're right. Thats exactly what I'm doing.
>>672300208
Tried, actually got trips and won CS:GO but I didn't include my steam ID in the OP so somebody stole it
>>672300263
>force the guy
Really nigga
>>672300105
>>672299938
This is coming from the guy who offered to stick a coke bottle up his ass.
Coming from a guy who's too beta to get a job.
Coming from a guy who lets his mother suffer from working hard while he's out at college begging for a $15 video game at night in secret.
Coming from a guy who admitted to having his roommate support him
You sure are awesome!
>>672300412
At least read the other posts before making accusations bud.
>>672300263
So did you ignore the opening post where he said he would do anything for the game? He's not the victim when he instigated the entire ordeal.
>>672300501
I did. Did you?
>>672300263
nah I never wanted this guy to do anything, I'm not really into cum tributes or seeing someone shove objects up his ass.
I was never planning to give this guy what he wanted, yeah, but I maintained that stance from the start. Why the fuck would I give someone a handout? It helps nothing.
Kek OP left a fucking while ago. Ive been trolling you faggots. God i love wasting you retards' time
>>672300505
thats true, but to be fair its not like you only want to see him do things that will fuck shit up. like you have ten things you think would be funny to see him do, but you only say the two that will fuck his life with a studded dildo. so why not just pick something just for the lolz, and give him the game because you wanna be cool to some poor broke autist
then again this is my first week on 4chan so maybe 4chan doesn't have of that type of cool people.
>>672300756
This is /b/ faggot. What do you expect?
>>672300548
No. did you?
>>672300728
Thanks for trying to save my ass but I got this friend.
>>672300756
again implying that any of us have any personal obligation/inclination to obtain validation from some whiner
>>672300862
im gonna take that as a "no none of us are cool we just wanna see shit in peoples asses"
It was worth a try
>>672300920
no i am implying that some of you want to be cool/arent total dicks and wanna do something cool for some nigga in exchange for some neat keks
>>672300756
No, it doesn't. This has changed over the years, but it's still not a fucking hugbox tumblr.
You should leave or you will become jadded as fuck like most of us.
We wanted that little faggot op to do something that we could use against him.
The final objective was to get something do bad that he would have to kill himself.
Then there would be lulz.
>>672301026
all the lulz
>>672300923
/b is like
15% cool guys
20% faggots
25% retards
40% cancer
>>672301026
thats nice. still little nigga just wanted a game.
id go on about the insecurity of everybody who tries to do that, and how you are only ok with it if you dont know for sure if theyve killed themselves, but i dont feel like wasting my wanking hands to type to a bunch of pony fucking neckbeards
>>672301157
so ive seen
i come on here like three years ago and it was cool. now its literally just porn and "put sumthin in ur bum"
>>672301286
Don't forget about the "YLYL" cancers.
>>672301222
Still, you wasted time.
You won't make any friends here, nor will you find validation for your opinions.
>>672301222
>I will do literally anything for CS:GO on steam.
>I will chop off my dick, put on panties, stick a coke bottle in my ass, anything.
You can stop defending him anytime now. He won't fulfill his side of the bargain so why should anyone gift him a game?
>>672301385
well if im correct, he posted the picture anon asked for. its just that anon didn't like it enough. so it looks to me he was willing to do it, just not turn on the light. i say if you give the nigger a chance and asked him to do something else, hed do it. i mean youre not sending him the gift first, so all youre losing is the time youre wasting talking to him rather than jerking off
>>672301785
kys
>>672301785
>i say if you give the nigger a chance and asked him to do something else, hed do it.
It's obvious you didn't read the thread. Stop embarrassing yourself.
>well if im correct, he posted the picture anon asked for. its just that anon didn't like it enough.
That picture was garbage. No one can see anything in it. How can anyone tell if the deed was done?
>>672302024
well
i could see pen on his face
and i read /3/5/2016
what more could you ask for
Is anyone still here?
