ITT: We're the crew of the Enterprise.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: We're the crew of the Enterprise.
Computer, run program Troi and Beverly threesome simulation on holodeck 4
>>672069740
Number one, im going down to the planet to handle the dangerous situation on my own.
>>672069740
DE PLAUNT
>>672069740
Come.
>>672069954
wonder which yellow shirt gets to clean that place out at the end of the day.
we could modify the forward sensor array to send out an inverted tachyon pulse, that usually works
>>672069740
Captain's Log
Today I was a commie faggot and did the right thing and killed myself
>>672069954
>Beverly
ew
haggard old witch
We're all red shirts
Dubs confirms Riker was fucking Data's daughter Lal.
Engineering reporting in. I almost called Geordi a nigger today.
>>672070102
Dont forget the Hysenburg compensater
>>672070221
Season 1 Beverly is best Beverly
>>672070475
>Hysenburg
Heisenberg
>>672070330
Nice
>>672070565
No u
>>672070505
dude shes like 60 years old wtf
>Talks complete fucking shit
I wish they'd make the uniform change universal so I can stop wearing this
>>672070505
Well ya, she was younger then.
>>672069740
>>Computer,locate Councilor Troy.
Counsilor Troy is in her quarters
>>What is she doing?
TRoy is taking a shower
>>computer, initiate a sight to sight transport, beam me directly to Troys shower. security code. Picard , Delta, 2, 9, 3, Tango Tango 9.
Mister LaForge, Report!
Captains log, plugged up the toilet on deck six.
*taps communicator*
Number one, come to deck 6 and bring a plunger My number two won't flush
I sometimes imagine the next generation show but it's a comedy and Picard is amassive dick to everyone and the rest of the crew are constantly fucking each other, scheming shit and playing pranks on one another. Plus obrien never gets to leave the transporter room and everyone fucks with him.
Captain's Log, Stardate 764257.15 We have been travelign at high warp for almost three weeks and have arrived at the newly discovered system YTR-1245, yet to be officially named. Our mission is to catalog the several new types of simple animal life detected by sensors on the Pastuer which discovered the planet three months ago. Mr. Data has expressed interest in commanding the away mission...
i saw half and episode of TNG earlier it was the one where picard, ro, gynan and keiko got turned into 12yo kids by the transporter
gynan and ro go and jump on beds, picard goes to the bridge and keiko goes to her and o'briens quarters because theyre married
>>672070879
'Troi'
>>672070832
I remember seeing this a couple times on the show and thinking what the absolute fuck is happening?
How is it that I'm outranked by a fucking robot?
>>672069740
#NeverTellmetheOdds
That's no moon, that's a space station
>>672070914
I'm fucking blind again!
>>672071054
Wesel.. I mean Ensign Crusher, standard orbit. Mr. Data, assemble your away team and have a shuttle prepped to take you down.
>>672070879
>sight to sight
>takes control of the enterprise, and crashes it on Earth
W-EE HAV-VE LANDED-D-D
Just visited the bridge to deliver my report and I looks like Q's back. Dubs decides what he gets us into this time.
Shut up, Wesley.
Somebody get Kirk down here, we've got a green bitch who's so horny she might turn into Batgirl at any second!
>>672070914
It's not LaForge, it's Kunta Kinte
THE CR-R-REW HAS BEEN D-DISPATCHED ST-OP-P ST-T-TURTTERIN-G
>>672069740
so I fucked Ensign Ro when she was changed into a kid, is it pedo? She was still technically 30 right?
>>672071574
>>672071363
Yes, Captain. Ensign Crusher, you are with me. Data to Dr. Crusher, please meet me in shuttle bay two with your kit. Mr. Worf, would you also care to accompany us to the surface? Some of the alien life there could be.. predatory.
>>672069740
"Han shot first !!"
Aye, aye, Cap'n'.
Evil Spock reporting in!
>>672070777
Horny Kirk about to pounce
OK, so what are we going to do with all the glasses, cups and plates that materialise in the replicators every time we eat or drink? Cargo Bays 3-6 are full to the ceiling already.
>>672070565
You're goddamn right
>>672070777
>>672072171
Easy, put them back in the replicator.
>>672072171
Blow the cargo bay doors and purge it into space......make it so!
>>672072106
>scifi show with FTL, energy weapons & teleportation
>half the episodes involve the captain of the ship beaming down to a planet to strip to the waist for a fist fight with an alien
>>672071841
Very well, Lt. Commander. I look forward to a chance to test my prowess against these... beasts.... Wai, Captain we are picking up a warp signature, a ship! Dropping out of warp, 1.2 million kilometers from the third planet!
I AM THE CAPTAIN NOW
>>672072171
>he hasn't figured out how to use the dematerialization mode
One does not simply transfer to the Enterprise without knowing the basics of disposal.
>>672072443
Yup, that's good tv. They have all that technology but kirk punches a gave at least once per 3 episodes.
I will trade all my leave time for nudes of Troi
The Cardassian Community Frowns upon your shenannigans
>>672072714
Face**
>>672072467
Put it on screen, Mr. Data! Worf, tactical analysis! Go to yellow alert. Mr. Worf, raise shields and bring weapons online. Data, what can you tell us about the ship? Any definitive readings on long range sensors?
Mr Data, can you begin work on a program to stop the damn computer making a series of short but audible bleeps every time we ask it to do something?
Sir, reporting for dut BLLLARRGH!!
>>672072820
Those are Romulans
>>672072500
>takes shit on plate
>puts back into replicator
mfw replicator uses my shit to make captains earlgrey tea
>>672073050
Doh!
>>672072467
>We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.
I heard they're finally going to put an In-N-Out Burger on deck 7.
>>672073112
Those motherfuckers are attacking!
Data, follow the instructions in this picture and input relevant codes into the ship's computer
>>672073112
YOU ASSIMILATED MY BROTHER YOU ANIMALS
>>672071717
I would hit that.
Morale Officer reporting! Anyone for a nice Talaxian omelette?
>>672073050
>>672072820
The Cardassians are amused that you would confuse us with the Romulans!
>>672073255
Data! randomly rotate and modulate shields, Mr. Worf, same for weapons! Wesley, evasive manouvers! Get us the hell out of here, maximum warp! Heading irrelevant! ENGAGE!
>>672073411
Forgot pic! Doh!
>>672073112
First Contact is the best Star Trek film
This is your Captain speaking. Since the Holodecks are a never ending source of imminent danger to the life of anyone foolish enough to enter one and occasionally the entire ship, they will be closed until someone can figure out how to make the technology safe. Frankly Im amazed they are installed on starships at all given their ludicrous unpredictability. Picard out.
>>672073485
forgot again!
>>672073405
fuck off Neelix, no one likes you
>>672073486
This
>>672073526
he did nothing wrong
And now a word about T'Pol's ass
>>672073405
>Computer, beam Neelix aboard the Borg Cube
>>672073666
>>672073526
Not even picking Garak, the best Cardassian of them all.
>>672073461
Captain! Hear me out on this one, we are only a few dozen light years from Quonos... maybe the borg would think twice before approaching Kilngon space with only a single cube!
Derr
>>672069740
>im the captain
>intentionally crashes ship
>we are all dead
>>672073798
>>672073405
>>672073854
Make it so, Ensign Crusher! Now goddamnit!
>>672073112
USE THE JENNASIS DEVICE!!
Starfleet frowns upon your shenannigans as well. We are sending a hot blonde admiral to make sure
>>672073675
>>672073112
Does everyone else read it in their voice?
>>672073861
PLAUNT
>>672073050
>>672073411
Those are clearly Vulcans.
>>672074030
It's unavoidable
>>672073974
Where are those Borgs, i'll service them all!
I wonder who could be behind this thread?
>>672069740
>duty hours are over
Alright, I'm going to the holodeck for a...thing.
>>672070330
I just watched this episode. S2 EP: Royale
As soon as Spock's brain is put back into his skull, you'll read it in his voice too...
>>672074134
Romulans are expat Vulcans
>>672074256
RETREAT
>>672070330
oh my god that episode is horrid, Sub Rosa is the worst though
>>672074384
Separate the saucer section! Get the fuck outta here!
>>672074387
best ep? yesterdays enterprise?
and what happens in sub rosa?
>tfw you're late for your shift because your 12 year old wife wants to cuddle
http://youtu.be/l28KDuRrPYU
You have no idea how big Big D was.
>>672070879
>Troy
That's a guy you're beaming to.
>>672074571
OMG LOL
If you need me, ill be in the holodeck.
What are everyone's theories for the new series then? I'm thinking discovery of a new form of experimental travel that propels them to Andromeda.
>>672073112
Seems like a certain 'collective' wants another beating.
Computer error. Computer error
All available memory has been filled. Shutting down systems.
>life support: offline
>weapons: offline
>shields: offline
>engines: offline
>transporters: offline
>communications: offline
>>672074599
Yeah, my D is huge
>>672074540
>Beverly Crusher attends her grandmother's funeral, but a mysterious entity that inhabited her grandmother is now focusing on her.
an alien thing that inhabits the crushers for like generations basically
>>672074655
But Captain, you're needed on the Bridge!
>>672074751
They'll probably go further into the future, but keep it close in chronology to DS9 & Voyger
>>672072443
You got a problem with it, faggot?
It would be cool to be transported on it and to spend time in 10 forward and the holodeck.
>>672070879
>sight to sight transport
right into a bulkhead.
>>672074801
oh god yeah that was shit
>>672069740
I wanna be Ryker...Ryker is hawt as fukkkkkk. He gets all the ladies and doesnt afraid of anything, and that beard...I could lose myself in that beard...
>>672074769
Umm... Captain? I think we may have an issue...
>>672074981
>dat left hand
>>672074625
>>672074571
the opportunity to take his wifes virginity twice
Hey guys check out this new lifeform I found on the away mission!
>>672073854
>quonos
It's Qo'noS, you fucking p'taq
>Ensign Crusher, please report to the Sickbay for your physical
>>672075250
It looks edible.
I dare you.
>Captain I suggest we raise our shields and fire weapons immediately!
>>672075263
>Implying anyone gives a shit about what a race of space niggers call their ghetto ass planet
>>672075334
Remember, tonight is GAY NIGHT
>>672075113
And he goes on cool away missions. I imagine he needed a retirement more than most. He encountered himself and lost his mind a few times.
>>672075295
Mom... are you going to give me a physical, or is it "special time" again?
>>672069740
Strawpoll you nerdy fucks.
http://strawpoll.me/6986954
HONK HONK
>>672074751
It's the first Klingon series following the crew of a TNG-DS9 era Bird of Prey. We have to pretend to not notice they're speaking English all the time.
ATTENTION NIGGERS
Streaming hero, get in here fags. tinychat com/17tqla
>>672075499
I'm already waiting on the holodeck!
>>672075439
Does Worf ever do this and it happens without hesitation?
>>672075295
>for your physical
It's penis inspection day.
>>672075465
>being this dishonorable
>>672075480
Engines broke again...
>>672075779
>implying niggers have honor
LOL
>>672075575
>im the only one who voted for DS9
>>672070998
Well the last part is true anyways
Ensign's log: "We're setting out for a planet with 10,000 years of fresh air. The way the Captain runs things, it won't last a hundred."
>>672076073
What the hell did you just frikkin’ say about me, you little chimp? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Starfleet Academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Borg, and I have over 300 confirmed executions of General Order 24. I am trained in ship-to-ship warfare and I’m the top tactical officer in all of Starfleet. You are nothing to me but just another redshirt. I will wipe you the hell out with attack patterns the likes of which has never been seen before in this quadrant, mark my goddamn words. You think you can get away with saying that stuff to me over subspace? Think again. As we speak I am contacting section 31 and your subspace signature is being traced right now so you better prepare for the ion storm, maggot. The ion storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re goddamn dead, ensign. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with self-sealing stem bolts. Not only am I extensively trained in zero-G combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Starfleet and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable existence off the face of the galaxy, you little chimp. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goddamn tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will blast fury all over you and you will drown in it. You are dead, ensign. Dismissed
T'Pau has a pickle up her Vulcan Butt about something again....
>>672076002
Yep
See >>672074769
>>672070565
The Heisenberg compensators were thought up by their physicist science advisors to circumvent Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, which would make transporters impossible.
>>672076278
>T'Pau
>>672069740
computer, run holoprogram "de paul sit on my face"
>>672074134
Tholians
>>672070095
>Swish noise
>>672076316
Scotty's got it covered, it's usually located in the Jeffries tube
>>672073486
If you're referring only to TNG, then you are correct, but that's a low fucking bar.
>>672073836
Garak was boss as fuck!
>>672069740
l... ... mm. Lt. Broccoli re... reporting for doodie
...mm... captain.
Can I help?
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/4rW1wuNyDKg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReOw_2f4lpY
>>672076073
Why you escalating nigga?
You want some peanut butter with that jelly?
>>672076652
No, fuck off ya beta space gook.
>>672076617
Fucking Barclay. I don't know why I dislike that guy, but I do SO much. Just saw a Voyager ep with him in it the other day, trying to convince the Doctor to kill himself.
Fucking asshole.
>>672076601
Fair enough. I think it just needs a windows update
>>672076543
The Tholians frown upon such shennanigans
Oh my god. These plasma injectors were made by Lucas
I'm not sure why Captain Kirk assigned me to the bridge. All I seem to do is stand around doing nothing.
>>672076652
>Harry Kim
Yeah, if we need a crewman to get kidnapped, die, or get seriously injured, we'll call you.
BEAM ME UP, ANON!
>>672073941
Clutch save tuvok
Hey, you all hear about 4Chan?
>>672076719
Look at this nigger, trying to dress in white to compensate for having shitskin... try harder m8
>>672076932
Have you seen her lately?
She became a fucking train wreck!
Google her mug shots.
Nope, Archer, you've been CANCELLED
>>672076932
the showrunners hated garrat wang they wanted to fire him in like season two or w/e but he made people's sexist list or something so he was kept on, thus he was never promoted from ensign and the writers had their fun doing the worst things to his character
>plays Geordi x Data
Problem solved.
>>672076217
>I'm the only one who voted for voyager
What exactly is he doing?
ugh, fine, i'll do it myself >reaches, beams myself, but leaves one arm behind, and it starts crawling
![17sghw2fyw33ejpg[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/2f0Cipl.jpg "17sghw2fyw33ejpg[1].jpg")
yo man, i heard you got problems with the engines or some shit.
Why are these consoles always blowing up? We're supposed to be the most modern ship in the Fleet, yet these consoles appear to be made of Explodium. I
>>672077066
Using from my PAD app
>>672076899
Ayy lad, they're a temperamental old lass. Don't "let the smoke out".
>>672077283
Think he could have tapped that if he didn't trip over that fucking flower bed?
>>672076601
>just ctrl+f'd for jeffries tube
well I'm glade at least one person here means it.
>>672075250
We found the real space jews
>it reaches towards >>672077333
...
>>672077106
>becoming
After Voyager, poor Kes hit rock-bottom. She's mooning kids n' shit.
>>672077170
He does kind of look like this Korean female friend I like. Every time I look at Harry, I think of her.
>inb4spacefaggot
But that sounds about right. I'm only on Season 2 Ep 6, and every time I look up, I see him getting his ass handed to him. Poor Harry.
>>672077309
>Jehri Curl Alert!
>Im back!!
>>672069740
Where is the god damned toilet on this motherfucking thing?!
I want to pinch Ashley Judd's cheeks.
And then do her.
>>672070777
She did filled the roll better than Troi
Don't worry Nikki, this is just a phase. You'll grow out of it.
>>672077633
ILL FIGHT YOU
>>672077417
He could've tapped them both.
>>672077374
OH FUCK you posted a pic of Scotty's missing FINGER! JACKPOT!
>a greenlike creature enters the control room
>and the arms turned yellow
HAHAHAHA...
"CAPTAIN! I've found serious damage!"
"The cable is out!"
you guys ready to smoke so much meth the Traveler won't have shit on our cosmic understanding?
>it started forming into a triangular shape
HAHAHAHA!
Are all earth men pussies?
>>672070221
You mean sexy red head milf
Species 8472 reporting in
>contacts the ship
THAT DORITO ARM IS DANGEROUS! ABANDON SHIP AB- >signal loss
>>672077767
You could have had quints.
>>672077633
Can u play De Colores?
>greenlike creature warps to
>>672077370
>, touching him/her slightly
>>672078021
No, just Crusher. Can't even grope a teen spacegirl with no bra
>>672078133
how the fuck do your ships work here aren't you from some sort of fluid space?
>a bowtie, eye, and a tophat appeared on the triangle
FINALLY!!! AT LAST!
"You guys....you're from the Sixties?! THERE'S NO PLACE FOR YOU IN THE MOTHERFUCKING FUTURE! GET BACK WHILE YOU STILL CAN! Back to the 60s."
>>672078133
Fuck off you B5 ripoff.
>>672077767
>>672078183
>10 posts away
No, I really couldn't.
>>672077752
that guy hated being on voyager he thought if he kept asking for more money they'd eventually fire him but they just kept saying yes
>>672069740
This is how far I stretch the Klingon pussy.
>>672078403
>the greenlike creature warps to the triangular creature, it's humanlike body but without any facial features, or bones, it's just stuck skin.
>the creature grows a mouth.
" What are you doing here, C i p h e r? "
>>672078133
They don't count
>>672078288
Idk.
>it gained arms and legs, and speeded towards >>672078438
HAHAHA!
>>672078133
tell us about your 5 genders
>>672078438
What are you, a fucking herbert man?
It's the 2260's!
>>672078644
>the creature suddenly ran for the triangular creature, screeching.
WHERE THE HECK AM I
>>672078644
>Bill faced you
HOW DO YOU KNOW ME, KID?
OK, OK, Everybody just CALM Down! One at a time!
>>672070074
DAAAAAMMMMMN DANIEEEEELLL XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
>>672078459
DS9 is technically a B5 ripoff, it's far better though
>>672077899
He's got an IV of MDMA
Hey guys, im leaving the ship.
>pulls emergency release on airlock
Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.
>>672078900
god that episode was shit except for crazy riker
Attention this is the captain, could someone please inform counsellor Troi that her camel toe is overloading the sensor array. Picard out.
Darmok and Jalad on the ocean.
>Bill locked the doors tight
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?...
>>672078867
>the creature grew two eyes, silver.
The name's 6er.
506er.
>>672079059
Temba, is arms wide.
Temba, his arms wide.
>>672078438
200 years ago, our leader, Bernie the great, told us we could have stuff for free.
>>672079059
>>672079178
Same guy.
>>672079177
"For fuck's sake Riker, lay off the space coke. You're in your pajamas on Ten Forward."
>>672079050
Get back here Matt Damon!!
GRETTINGS 6ER, THAT NAME REMINDS ME OF SOMEONE
trump's america is the mirror universe bernie's is the prime universe fucking fight me
>>672079351
*speaks Tamarian for: "Let's go to the rave and fucking party."
>>672079447
>>672079263
Moot, his website gone.
Better space show reporting in
>>672079394
>snickered
>you suddenly had a cybernetic bow and arrow, the arrows automatically generated, go new tech.
And I'm the one who's going to kick you out of this world.
>>672079545
>>672079177
>>672079363
Must have been good Nyborg!
>>672079563
Kek.
>>672079563
I find your human ways confusing. What is this "anal" you speak of?
Shaka, when the walls fell
Don't you see? The trial never ended!
>He let out a small chuckle
YEA...SURE...
>>672079563
Sorry, what?
>>672079315
>I tried to obey, but
>>672071084
Trekkie fag reporting in. Rascals was one of, of if not the worst TNG episodes ever. Fits into the "never leave Riker in charge" category of episodes. The Enterprise got defeated by the Ferengi after firing one,,,,,ONE FUCKING SHOT. Then boarded by the biggest fucktards of the alpha quadrant.
the best motherfucking captain reporting in
>>672079838
THE BOYYYYS FROM THE DWAAAAAAAAARF
>>672073112
Is that a Death Star?
>>672079897
This is true
>>672079897
>second best*
I like his shiny head though.
>>672078651
Underrated post
>>672073486
Lifelong TNG fan and didn't even like TOS much but WoK is the best
Computer... remove plank.
>Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
>>672079957
>>672080105
Janeway is a war criminal. Report to astrometrics and I will explain further.
>>672079881
Galaxy class was a paper tiger anyway. Basically an over designed flying laboratory.
How many fucking times did it get wrek'd after only a few shots?
Captains Logs stardate: whenever
We are doing a routine mapping mission of the Deluph Cluster .
Captain: We are receiving a distress call from a freighter orbiting a degenerate star. Orders, Captain?
>>672079816
>you started firing multiple bows, flaming like crazy.
LET ME SHOW YOU ALL MY STRENGTH!
>he let out a huge, blue laser from his hand, blasting a hole in the ship
Gilgamesh
>>672079897
Arguably. Could have really fucked the whole federation if he got caught tricking the romulans to fight their war for them.
>>672080182
>Doctor, I have this...rash, on my penis. It started a few days after we left that last planet.
>>672078947
>far better though
No, DS9 may have been better but it was close
>>672080286
Why is it so dark in here?
>>672079563
Ha! Fuck right off
>>672072368
Havent you assholes ever heard of recycling?
Fucking apathetic bloody planet, Ive no sympathy at all
>>672069740
*straightens uniform*
*leans on things*
*sits smugly in the conference room*
Captain's log: Stardate.......uuuhhhhhhhh
If you were any other man I would kill you where you stand
>>672077696
Have you seen her recently. Nightmarish.
>>672080541
Literally 90% of TNG
>>672077283
Who was she and did she ever show tits?
>>672080286
Bullshit, I saved your ass!
Best villan in the verse. So good he transcends shows.
>>672080659
It was broadcast television in 1987. Of course she didn't show tits.
>>672080373
and I would do it again
>>672074571
The cringe factor of that episode was only toppped by TOS where that woman was in Kirks body
>>672080286
No Seven, you report here for once, every time you want to tell us something we have to fucking go down to your precious astrometrics, well I'm fucking sick of it! You fucking come here!
>>672080291
If it's named anything but Kobayashi Maru, let's go help.
>>672080105
Thread maxed out? Death is imminent. Resistance is pointless.
There are four lights!
>>672074981
They stole this idea from Larry Niven and one of his Ringworld novels. They paid an undisclosed amount for plagerism
WAIT, THE THREAD IS CLOSING? I HAVE TO ESCAPE! >he tried using magic, but failed
LET ME GO! WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING?
>>672080715
But he failed and Picard managed to get under his skin. Garak was a better interrogator.
>his eyes, his eyes
I also liked the interrogator in the B5 episode Intersections in Real Time.
>>672081192
>ooc( cipher get into that thread, everyone else get over there too )
>>672080836
Favorite ep in DS9.
i wolud fuck the shit out of p'tang or w/e her name was
>>672072196
Nicely done
>>672080288
It depended on what the plot called for. Sometimes it got rekkd, sometimes the borg cut fucking slices out and she went along just fine.
