feels thread
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
feels thread
I can't stop hating myself /b/.
>>671884716
I've hated myself for a while now. And I just stuff it away until I'm alone.
how to fix it?
>>671885531
It's so much easier to just handle your problems alone. It's easier to smoke 500 cigarettes and drink way too much alcohol in order to forget your problems and yourself for a while.
>>671885896
I was told this. I think it might work for you too.
>you still miss her
i just moved to a big city and i dont get to know girls or friends since i work in an adult society and theyre all married and their friends.
>>671886125
i think it doesn't work, i was told i can't live my life the way i want because i was born "wrong" goddamn, how should i pass it?
>>671885995
>>671885995
I've been to the bottom of every bottle. And ive smoked every pack i can. Sometimes alone, sometimes with friends. I feel like the only way to stay happy is by staying high on pot and impulsive buying.
>>671886588
Man, people from class thinks I'm cool for going out with them so often, but it's just to find an excuse for myself to drink that night.
I have realised that my facade is being teared down, slowly.
>>671886516
Ive learned that i dont need to live up to other peoples expectations. I lost a lot of my teenage years because i fucked up when i was younger and now it haunts me every day. Just live doijg what makes you happy man. For me thats writing music and playing vidya. Do your own thing. First concept of LaVeyan Satanism.
>>671887123
Thats what ive realized too man. I stopped socializing when drunk or high too. Id prefer to do it, then go play vidya or listen to music by myself.
>>671886178
Of course I do. But I don't dwell on it.
I'm deeply in love with my male cousin but don't want to risk fucking our family up.
>>671886429
Big cities suck ass man. Hang out at a library or a small shop. I usually go to this comic joint downtown where they serve coffee and thats where i met some of my best friends here.
>be me
>go to germany
her name still pops up everywhere..
>>671887974
Love who you want. Although it may painyou to be away from them, dont allow your feelings to overwhelm your control. Do they know how you feel?
>>671887498
Worst is, that I DO want to socialize, but I just can't truly enjoy it.
Not to sound like a whimp but I have felt how evil people can be, even those you for years could seek and comfort with and call the best friends of mine. I've started to develop serious trust issues.
It's getting so bad that I can't be in a room with too many people. I feel like throwing up and crying.
>>671888217
sorry m8. Its a very common name
Not having any friends at all isn't so bad
Right?
Why me. Why my brain.
>>671887157
it's tough to do "my own thing" if i can't do it because i was bourne wrong, it would be easier thinking that i'll have an other live where i'll do what i want, but i actually just can't
>>671888187
WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
>>671888292
Im in the same boat. Im not autistic but i have somewhat dibilitating social anxiety. I hope it gets better for us one day bro
>>671888292
I have horrible trust issues too man. Yes people are evil and will hurt you. But its not all of them. Try to find someone who clicks with you. Like what do you do to keep yourself entertained or occupied?
>>671888747
I hope so too man. I know things could be worse but everyone has their own problems, sometimes things just gets too much,
>>671888653
Would you mind elaborating on what born wrong means to you?
I want to dump my gf. We've been together for six years and now she left to do some aupair shit because she couldn't find any job here.
Miss her but she doesn't even talk to me more than two words a day.
Don't know how to do this.
>>671889206
How much do you try talking to her?
>>671889324
At first, like ten times a day, we talked via Skype sometimes, and phone calls (free) but now I barely try.
>>671888281
he's told me he loves me before, but I'm still not sure if it was a family kind of love or a love kind of love.
>>671888833
I kinda hate to say it, but seven months ago, I actually began to become quite popular at uni. I moved to the other end of the country to get a new start. I didn't give a shit about anyone, and yet people tend to do "what I want to do", this has never happened before. Yet I feel like shit.
But to keep myself occupied I study, drink, going for some long walks, and listening to some good tunes. basically everything which makes me feel good, or help me "forget".
>>671889433
Was there some reason besides the distance? Don't you think closing the gap may help?
Well
To make things clearer not everyone knows what they want
for example... lottery winners sometimes end up worse than before they won
i once met a girl that was the type i could relax around...
I never got any feelings to blossom for her because i been hurt so many time i dont feel anything anymore...
but being with her was ok
suddenly she tell me she need to stop seeing me and i kinda expected that she had met someone else...
But i was curious so i asked...
What she told me surprised me however...
She said... that if she were to be with me she would be happy... and that was something she could not handle... because it would end some day...
I told her i understood... and then we gradually stopped speaking and messaging...
That was that...
>>671889595
Don't ask them, but continue as you've been. And see if their feelings bloom or make themselves known.
>>671889710
You sound a lot like me honestly. Do some reading? Reading was always an escape for me whether its comics or novels, just find something you like. Sit back in a chair pour yourself a glass of whiskey and read.
>>671889741
There's not any other reason. Her best friend is also a friend of mine and there's not another man.
I tried to close the gap several times, she's very passive (don't know how to say this) and now I'm tired of trying. Already six months without her.
She's far but she doesn't have to act like she's far.
>>671890227
I understand. Do you still want her? Like if she came back would you still love her and take her in?
>>671890436
Yes. Of course.
But that wont happen.
>>671890222
I actually started reading some time ago. My grandfather found some old collections of H.C. Andersens work. And the fun thing is, I actually read them while either drinking whisky or cognac!
It gives me peace because it reminds of the good times from my childhood before everything went down hill.
>>671890533
Talk to her and tell her how the distance has made you feel and don't hold anything back. If shes nonchalant about it tell her that its over.
>>671890988
I already did that two weeks ago. She told me that things would change.
But she didn't do anything.
>>671890893
Good! Old books work great with liquor. I usually read HP Lovecraft. Keep it up. Just keep looking for new things that pique your interest.
>>671891084
Then you may just need to end it now. Tell her you gave her a chance but you know it wont work out.
>>671891342
Yeah. Now I just need to find the right moment. I don't want her to collapse in front of the children she's taking care of.
Thanks anon.
>>671891503
No problem man. Hope everything goes well.
What does one do, when the girl who came and blew you away, suddenly chooses ones best friend instead even after feels, kisses and intimacy? Im fucked up, after this. I still want my friend and im not even mad at him. Im just feeling nothing about it? I dont get it. I think of her every day, but she is together with my best friend and i cant even figure out what to do about this?
>>671891761
Me and my friend went through this issue. Just drop her. Maybe your friend will follow.
Hey AJ if you are reading this I hope that you hear me out. Your fiance doesn't make you happy and now my best friend is not around anymore and he can't make you happy either. I'm sorry that I couldn't make you happy the way that I wanted to I really tried.
>>671891989
I have done that, and i did not talk to my friend for about 2 months afterwards, im beginning to talk to him again but he is still together with her. I have talked with her because i can't seem to be places where she is not, but its not the same i just want to be happy some fucked up way but not while im watching... I dunno about all this. but my friend will not follow that i know, it is his first girlfriend experience which makes it hard for him to see clear.
Fuck me /b/
Why do I have this fear of being noticed or being the center of attention even for a few seconds.For example, I fucking hate when I'm asked tor read something aloud because I'm so nervous that I'll fuck it up that I sound like a dyslexic moron (I know how to read btw). Or when someone in a group askes me for my opinion I just become so nervous that I'll say something stupid that I just freeze and don't know what to say. This also stands in my way of making friends because I just don't know how to approach a stranger or how to even start a conversation because I think that I might bore them or make them think I'm some kinda weirdo. The number of my friends is decreasing every year because I don't know how to socialize and I'm worried that soon I'll have no friends at all.
Pls help /b/ros but don't just say you need to open up more or stuff like that because I just can't.
>>671890222
I've already waited so long, I'm not sure I can do it much longer
>>671892395
You my friend, need to stop making the consequences of you opening up being bigger than they are. Thats your problem you keep saying in your head that the worst of worst will happen if you try to socialize but trust me dude, nothing stupid will happen other than people will see who you are, dont care about people unless they care about you that also means how they see you, dont be afraid of the small consequenses.
>>671892395
Practice
>>671892369
Damn. The first timers are always the worst. go out tonight and have fun man. Drink, smoke do whatever floats your boat. Then the day after maybe just take a break from socializing like i am.
>>671892866
Then maybe just be straightforward. Ask how they feel about you. Then go from there
>>671888506
> Why my brain.
Me too anon
every day I just wonder what's the point
>>671892395
I think you might be me
>>671893205
Done all that, its been 3 months now. Im socializing again, and this is where my friend comes in the picture when im with him she is always lurking behind the shadows in some way. I mean that i can't be with him when she is together with him and thats make the whole fucking thing awkward and unbearable. i even tried to fuck other girls to try and see if that helped, but still nothing...
>>671893759
I try to create freedom thats my goal every day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldNSMnEeKio
>>671892869
Thanks dude for the advice but I think that I still have a long way to go before I an open up. I don't fucking know why I care so much about how other people see me and what they think about me. I don't really remember being bullied or anything when I was a kid I was actually a "normal" person who went out and hung out with my friends but as I was getting older I was constantly getting more and more introverted to the point where I basically don't wanna leave my room anymore.
Should I see a fucking psychiatrist, wtf is wrong with me
Im Platonic loving her for year now. 2 months of school left, time is ticking and im still scared of her
>>671894127
Same dude here, You need a goal in life, dream and see what you want to do with your life. Dream as big as you can it does not matter. Just find that goal, and when you do try to reach it. I promise you in that goal you will find yourself and by that you will start to open up and have it better with yourself. Ive been there my self until i found my own goal and stribed for it.
>>671894244
Is that Ljubljana?
Did you ever... look back...to all your past and wonder... when did it all go wrong ?
As far as I can remember, it was always like this... like if... I never was trully happy or living my life fully...
>>671894516
I woke up today and had no will to get out of bed
>>671894494
Propably, this is from school trip to Croatia. Beautiful country, even if i wanted to kill myself everywhere. (y)
My life was already shit, tem i got drafted into the fucking army.
I am so fucking miserable right now.
>>671888292
I feel you man
>>671894244
Give me her facebook and i'll talk to her for you.
Or, never mind. I'll find it myself.
>>671894494
Not origininal OP
Mogoče je zgleda neke znano
>>671894439
The thing is, I actually have a goal. I want to be a doctor someday because I find medicine interesting and I think that I'll like it. In a year or so I'm moving to another town to start college (I'm over 18 mods don't ban me) so maybe I'll find it easier to communicate and socialize with people with same interests as me. For now I have to suffer being the weird, quiet one but hopefully that'll change one I move.
Thanks for the optimism and tips /b/ro :*
I'm 2 months away from graduation. It's been 18 years of emotional abuse from one parent, physical abuse from a step parent, and complete neglect from a recovering drug addict parent.
I plan on just waking up the day after graduation and just leaving. I can't take it anymore. I've been to the mental hospital for suicide. I've been through 4 therapists. I lied to them all out of fear. I fucked myself over. I'm convinced I deserve what I got.
I come on here to escape, like the rest of you.
Few years back, whilst in year 9, about 5 years ago, I was close with a girl, she was close to me too, we were both getting along well and tension was building, she was much more frontal to me, sexual too. Anyway, one day, after talking I went home and gathered courage and decided to ask her out day later, go into school and it turns out she had moved school and that was the last time I ever saw her. My main problem is she was funny, I grew attached to her, I just wish I went for her sooner... Anyway, yeah, my story.
>Be summer 3 years ago
>Be at old friends house
>7/10 girl, was a 10/10 but kept fucking herself up
>Friendzoned because I never really made a move, part late bloomer part beta I guess
>Best friend I've ever had so I don't really mind
>Partying the whole day
>Party get's pretty big as they usually did when she hosted them
>Times goes on and we both get a bit drunk
>We go outside because she needed me as company while she smokes a cig
>She recently had breast implants, which ruined her best feature imo, her flat chest
>She starts talking about them
>I say "Can I touch them" as a joke
>She takes my hand and places them on one of her tits
>Slightboner.jpg
>Feel them for a bit and tell her they feel good
>Bites her lip and look up at me with fuck me eyes
>Talks about her tits for a while
>Smalltalk goes on
>She asks me if I wanna smoke some weed, which I had done like 2 times before, never really had the taste for it
>She goes to get her stash, comes back with a pretty thick joint
>Another friend of us joins and we smoke up
>Feels high for the first time
>We go inside again to continue partying
>Another friend offers me tequila
>I yes even though I know this leads to bad things
>first shot fine, 2nd ok, 3rd shot completely forget everything from that point on
>Faint memory of her leading me upstairs but we both collapse in laughter, probably because we're still high
>Faint memory of making out with her
>Wake up half naked infront of a toilet full of puke
>Get up, drink some water and go to the nearest bed I see
>Talk to her the day after and I said I don't remember anything
>She said that right after we got high she asked me if I wanted to go to bed with her, but as soon as we entered her room I ran to the bathroom, puked and blacked out
>I pretend laugh it off, but inside it hurts
>Almost had sex with the girl of my dreams
>>671895609
This could be kinda hard cause this photo is from her friend. Never published anywhere. And even so she even not responded when i tried to sell her school books. Propably cause she never talked to me
>>671896060
>puked after 3 shots
what kind of fucking pussy...
>>671896580
I know I'm pretty light build
Can't even finish a bottle of rum without beign smashed
On the bright side I can get drunk pretty cheap
>>671896540
I am a Chad, i will talk to her, and then mention you now and then. That way she will notice you exist and that you are a cool guy.
I was a wingman for a lot of my Bros already. There is no harm in trying, right?
I just need your facebook and hers. Fake one is good to.
She looks really cute.
>>671896999
>Puke after 3 shots
>Can't even finish a bottle of rum
Which one is it? You can't have both
>be me
>exist
>>671897387
well I was pretty drunk before I tok the shots, and I probably drank more after the shots
I remember this story awhile back.
>>671896999
checked, but dyel
>>671897517
same
>>671896060
So what??? She wants u still. Just get her drunk and fuck her ...
>be me
>no real friends since highschool
>spend my time trying to help people in feels
>tell anons to go out, hang with friends, and be happy
>decide to take own advice
>get in touch with old friends
>make a plan to go barhopping and catch up with each other
>I get dressed for a fun night out
>friend calls, says they aren't going to make it
>rest of friends tell me they're all too busy to make it out
>whatever, shit happens
>get on computer and fuck around
>check facebook an hour or so later
>friends posting pictures of being at bar
>same bar we were supposed to meet up at
I had heard other anons tell stories like this, I had always assumed them fake.
>>671897909
She's living with her boyfriend of 2 years now, and we haven't spoken in almost 3 years
It's weird how people and relations change, she was my best friend and I don't know her anymore
>>671897957
Is this person me
>>671898148
Damn
>>671897187 really cute... This is not facebook thing. This is about feelings not fucking. She's reading a lot of books. Her friends told me that she care about small things.She is pure hearted and know about my existance. The Problem is inside of me. Im scared if i only think of talking to her. I cant lose my only chance for first impression. And also i think that im too weird for her ALSO thinking that i cant lose anything ALSO thinking about my loneliness ALSO thinking about what she feel
>>671898298
Know the feeling about not knowing people that you knew so good. Its strange..
>>671898148
Same things happen to me 2 weeks ago
>Ask old friend if he wanna do something this weekend
>Suggest we go skiin to his parents cabin and get drunk or something
>He tells me the cabin is out of order, someone broke in and fucked everything up
>ok
>Be home alone drinking and playing games
>Check snapchat stories
>See him and 2 other friends drinking and barbequing at his parents cabin
>feelsbadman
here we go..
>be me
>be elementary school
>have zero real friends
>atleastimsmart.jpg
>still bullied every day
>go to high school
>meet new people
>some are betas like me
>meet grill
>talk to her
>i'm a 6, probably a 5 actually
>she's at least an 8.5, closer to a 9
>wtf
>i ddn't know movies were real
>start dating
>wat
>spend entire days with her
>i actually lie to my parents about going to therapy about some shit regarding my leg so i can see her
>end of the school year
>she starts blaming me for not being as good as she thought she'd be
>she passes eventually
>right before the second year starts
>"we shouldn't see each other anymore"
>"i don't think i'll have good grades going on like this"
>the sound you hear in the background is the sound of my heart shattering into a fucking thousand pieces
>be hella sad
>few weeks later
>she's dating an older guy
>internal sobbing commences
>they break up
>yuss
>starts going out with a dude i know
>fuck everything
>never hear from her again
>rest of high school was shit
>i start playing video games almost non stop
>fuck up my grades
>almost all of the teachers are shit
>some of them are actually mocking me
>the fact that i was an annoying little shit didn't help
>accumulate one friend through all that although that happened after high school
>he's normal
>>671898661
2 Months left... You either do something now or forget her.
Would that be easier for you? To forget her, have her out of your life and know that guys like me use her as a fucktoy because you couldn't muster up the courage to talk to her?
>>671899223
sorry if this isn't very climactic but i'm in a generally awful mood and i can't think straight
anyways, cont.
>go to college
>have high hopes, leaving shit school, shit people and shit professors
>actually meet interesting people
>college is a huge disappointment
>don't have time to do shit
>can't wait to travel the world
>can't wait to meet someone
>can't wait to find a way to be rid of emotions
i still find myself thinking about high school, wishing some things never happened and that i could say sorry to some folks i've been a nuisance to and thank you for putting up with me
i still hang out with that friend tho (when i can)
i also live in a shit country
just like in elementary school, my only asset is that my grades are fucking amazing
yay
>tfw when your loving, caring, tender ex-gf is a slut now.
I took her virginity, we were together for three and a half years. And now she's getting railed by every foreign dick she can while she's travelling. Holy shit this hurts how can she be so different now, the breakup was only 6 months ago. I love and miss her so much
I cannot forget someone I haven't seen for 16 years. It hurts a lot.
>>671898919
I don't know anything about the first real friends I ever made.
We met in elementary and it ended after high school
We used to walk home from school together when we were in elementary, we used to do everything together and we were so much alike.
I remember we used to shoplift candy and toys and take them up to his treehouse and hide it under the floorboards
We used to bully this new kid which also became our best friend after we got bored of bullying him.
We were 3 guys and we spend so much time together and did so much together and now nothing.
I have no idea where it all went wrong, best friends for almost 11 years and then it just disapears over a coupple of years
People really do change
>>671899380
some other highlights of my life:
>era of yu gi oh
>everybody playing them
>time to become friends with kids on the block (i was like 10 or smth)
>buy yu gi oh cards
>they're fake
>they avoid me because i don't have real cards
>some of them ignore me to this day even though we live side by side
>meet another grill in high school
>she's everything
>she even reads fucking books and is actually funny
>SHE flirts with ME
>i think i'm gonna go with it
>find out she has a boyfriend
>turn her down because i don't want her boyfriend to feel the way i did
>regret
>meet girl in college
>cutie pie, similar to the last one
>flirts with me
>this has got to be a joke
>it is
>she has a boyfriend too
>can't do it
and, more recently
>meet grill
>fucking perfection
>studies where i study
>she's genuinely interested in me
>i can't do it because she probably won't study where i will next year
>start thinking how that can't be good
>proceed to do nothing about it
>still not sure if i should do something before she leaves
>>671899281
Listen Chad, i'm kinda afraid of my future, of myself. I'm scared of making her cry or something... If she would be happy with guy like you... meaby im lying myself but it' safer, i cant other way...
>>671894805
This has been me for the past month or so... If I haven't had lectures then I've spent 4+ hours browsing /b/ on my phone before even trying
It just keeps getting worse
This is more of a asking for an advice but this situation makes me feel as fuck
>meet a cool qt girl
>hang out in pubs and stuff occasionally
>she seems to be quite into me although I am not sure I am really not very good at this
>also the insecurities of spending my teens being fatass beta comes into play I quess
>not taking the hint/not caring enough
>eventually sort of falling in love with her because of her humour, looks and overall personality
>try to muster up courage to express my feeling towards her (I am pretty sure she knew at least a little how I feel about her, tbh, but I never was direct)
>one day our mutual very good friend confesses to her that he fell in love with her too
>she somewhat indecisively refuses (perhaps partially because of me, but again that's maybe only my imagination)
>gonna see her soon
The thing is I really like the guy aswell, he's a total bro and he knows by now that I like the girl more than I should and I do not want to "stab him in the back".
What do?
>>671894805
basicly how I feel everyday, all you gotta do is simply just get out without thinking about it, and suddenly you're up and remember something that has to be done
>>671900151
btw
>still the ugliest of my friends
>also the fattest
>if i try to do anything about the latter, ain't gonna have enough time for college
>fuck me
oh and how about another fucking highlight of my life
>be elementary school era (or maybe early high school idk)
>be very rigorous when it comes to traffic lights
>one younger kid who told me several times that i'm his one true friend he can rely on got into an accident while crossing the street
>i actually like the kid, he's honest and trusting
>start thinking how it's just a scratch or something like that
>be stupid little me
>"he probably deserved it"
>not sure if anyone heard what i said
>i get back home
>he's in the hospital
>cry
>he's in a coma
>sob
>i am what's wrong with this world
>after some time he gets back from the hospital
>in a wheelchair
>paralyzed
>sob
>he can't move much
>he can't speak because of the damage on his brain
>he's a baby stuck in a kid's body
>has to learn everything from scratch
>sob
>see him and his mother once
>try to say hi
>she's avoiding me
>she probably heard from someone what i said
>i want to die
>i am sorry
and i'll never forgive myself for that
I want to fucking die. I am actually considering suicide. I have been used like a fucking rag and thrown on the ground too many times.
>be me
>i have lots of friends
>at least I think I do
>talk to them every day
>do retarded shit to make them all laugh
>i sometimes land myself in trouble doing edgy shit, but its all cool as long as I make others laugh
>always ask others about how their day is
>"yeah Stephen, my weekend was great! I did x."
>always up to talk if somebody is feeling blue
>always beating some faggot up if he hurts any of my friends
>always doing essays and homework for people in my college class, im kind of smart I suppose
>always texting people positive things when they're feeling down
>encouraging others weaker than me to try harder at the gym giving then a pat on the back and giving them a good job
>where are all of them for me though?
>i always start conversations
>nobody ever tries to do retarded stuff to make me laugh
>nobody ever asks how my weekend went
>i bottle up my sadness and cry at home
>nobody ever asks if Im truly ok
>nobody ever beating up faggots that steal my shit in the locker room
>everyone is always too "tired" to help me with my schoolwork
>nobody ever texts me, I have to initiate it
Recently, one of my friends is getting bored of me. Her name is Jana. We've been friends since elementary school.
>>671897957
m..m..m.me?
>>671900978
Will the bro let you fuck him and make you happy?
If yes, let him have a go at the grill
If no, go for your only chance for happiness
>>671900389
>>Listen Chad, i'm kinda afraid of my future
Everybody is. That's how the world works today.
>>I'm scared of making her cry or something... If she would be happy with guy like you
You obviously care about her. I don't understand why that should be worse than a guy that only wants to have a ONS or worse.
Do you plan to abuse her? Beat her up on a regular basis? Are you a violent man?
The only thing you do at the moment (or for the last years), is making excuses.
You think she is out of your league? Maybe, i don't know how you look. But still, there is nothing you can loose and girls judge people in a different way.
>grandpa passed away 3-4 years ago
>loved him to death and loved spending time with him
>he would take me and my brother fishing and on this farm he worked on to pet all the animals
>fucking loved going everywhere with him, just found him to be so interesting and loving
>he gets cancer but my parents tell me it's just a pneumonia
>find out he has terminal cancer and there is basically nothing we can do to save him
>dad is a doctor and tried literally everything he could to give him some chemo that would work
>wake up one day and my mom sitting on my bed
>grandpa died
>I knew it was coming but when I heard the news I was in complete shock
>start laughing like a maniac and telling my mom "You are joking right?!"
>she doesn't say anything
>laugh for couple of minutes
>it finally hits me
>laugh turns to crying
>cry for weeks non stop
>can't fucking get over it
>everyone in my family starts to get over it but I can't
>tell myself that he isn't dead and that he is in his house with grandma
>still believing this bullshit to this day
>every time I visit grandma I look for him but quickly realize he is dead
>mfw
How do you deal with losing a loved one?
>>671901479
Continued:
>one day Jana stops replying to my texts
>Im starting to see the glaziness in my eyes as I talk
>realizing she doesnt really care anymore
>doesnt laugh at my shit that I do
>doesnt hit me up into convos
>im starting to feel that shes too nice to tell me to fuck off
>i asked her, and she said "if I didnt like you, I woukd tell you that."
>tried to add her on snapchat, she just keeps forgetting and is saying "theres bad wifi on here I cant add you back"
>this is driving me crazy
>im starting to notice all of the same glazed look in peoples eyes
>they're all getting tired of me
>they think im annoying as fuck
>they still think im annoying, but useful
>i really want to talk about it to someone, but they'd probably just ignore me like Jana is
I really want to kill myself, my charm that J used to have is wearing off. Im just afraid that Ill fuck it up. But If some one threatened me with a knife, I wouldnt exactly plead for my life. If a train ran at me, Im pretty sure I wouldnt step aside. If you've been reading it to the end, please take my message to the grave. Dont get bored of anyone. Please. If you are, at least say so as straight forwardly as you can. I thank you for reading my story to the end, and to the end of my life. I dont think ill be sticking around anymore. Thank you all so much for everything. Ill miss you; George, Andrew, Gideon, Cooper, Foster, Peyton, Rachel, Jacob, Catherine, Hannah, Preston, Jackson, Bran, Trueax, Alex, Pia, Keaton, Nick, John, Jana, and plenty of others Im sure I forgot about, as you have all forgotten about me.
>>671900995
I'll try that tommorow
>>671890156
That's Autism
>>671902859
Hey, pal. Its happened to me. I know its hard, but It makes me happy to make lists of things that have brought me joy in this world. I know it sounds autistic, but even if its a little thing that brought you joy, write it down. Please try it.
>>671902859
I just let it go I guess, I know most people cant, whatever reason it may be, but I simply turn off the feelings, the bad thing about this though is that I do it for everything, grades have always been shit and I never really cared, because I cant make myself care, I'd say its because I've been hurt too much when younger that I've built myself a fucking wall for a personality, the fact that I havent cried for 2years only shows that much, but I know when the day comes and I care slightly (and I will) I'll crumble and never get back on my knees...
>>671902859
hey anon, i lost my mom when i was pretty young, i think it was when i was about 13. wanted to an hero so many times. my mom was my best friend and it still makes me tear up to know that she's not gonna see my kid, or see me get married. i was really alone for all of the time i grieved, so i got pretty close to suicide. but i thought to myself if i just waited 1 more day to see if anything happened that would change my mind then i wouldnt go through with the an hero. and things got better. i met my best friend and hes like my brother. TL:DR, when life gets really bad, and you know you've hit rock bottom, remember that things can not be worse than today. today might not be the best, but it'll get better. takes a lot of time to realize it though. hang in there
>>671903676
>>671904026
>>671904533
Thank you guys. It makes me feel better to know that there are people who care. You made my day :)
> the only people I feel like I belong with are anonymous strangers on the internet
> I don't know if it's okay with this or if I'm just telling myself it's okay.
>>671905177
no thanks needed, i just dont want people to feel like i did for 5 years. keep your head up man and have a good one
>>671905177
Dont worry, even if you don't know who we are, we'll always be behind you, rooting you on.
You can get past this. I love you, and I don't mean this term lightly. I would love to give you a hug and cry with you for a long damn time.
>>671903038
Dude, I'm sure no one has forgotten you, no fucking way, if what you said is true, that you support everyone, and try to be the shoulder they cry on, then the only reason they would stop talking to you is because they find you to be a person with a positive attitude, and they just feel bad for themselves because they cant be like you, supportive and kind, and a clown when one is needed, they find courage in you, courage that they cant have by themselves. Just remember anon, everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE, is fucked up inside, there is no perfect person who has never suffered, nature doesnt allow that. But you know what keeps them from giving up? people like you, who are there no matter what, that will hear everyones problems without talking about his own, thats the type of person they strive to be, but cant be strong enough for it. Like another anon said here, today is the worst day, so tomorrow can only be better.
>>671891028
Best story of feel tonight, anon.
I´m sad now for the man who posted your life story...
>>671886588
Whoah anon are you me
>>671906345
This.
Someone said something like this to me a while back and it turns out it was true.
>>671900117
>We used to bully this new kid which also became our best friend after we got bored of bullying him.
chuckled
>>671906345
Not the poster, but I have almost the exact same problem. I'm glad (and I'm sure he is too) that 4chan is a thing that exists because of threads like this. Thanks anon, this helps.
>>671906345
Thanks you so much for replying. I give support to people, because I fucking hate seeing people upset. Im not so sure why I do it, but I cringe so hard when I see somebody isnt feeling really good, or when they're just plain down-in-the-dumps bad.
I find it kind of hard to believe that they've stopped talking to me because they feel bad for themselves. I just see it that people think that my routine is getting old, and that Im starting to get really annoying.
I just fucking wish I had someone of my friends; any of them say that they needed to talk about their feelings. I just want to let it all out and cry with them for a bit. I just feel like im being used, but I cant stop because its so damn hard to act aloof...
>>671894244
You are 16, fuck off to bed
>>671897957
>>671907326
I'm your friend anon.
>>671907884
Thanks! This means a lot. I hope I get over this soon.
>>671894244
po prostu odezwij się do niej
>>671907326
Its only normal for you to assume the worst, then again so do I, but I'll give you some advice that I've been given that actually made me think about relatioships: friend is a strong word, overly used nowadays, much like love, and to have a friend is not having person who rubs your back when you clearly did something wrong, who says you did your best, and if you somehow become "boring" to them they just stay away, to have a friend is to have a person who calls you on your bs, who tells you sincerely when something is enough, who is there to tell you fucked up, not out of mockery, but instead to teach you a lesson, for that you may become a better person and never make the same mistake, and who forgives you for everything and nothing. Tbh senpai, if your "friends" stopped talking to you, you can only assume that they dont deserve you, the problem is most definitly not with you.
>>671903038
How old are you anon?
It sounds like a weak answer but it honestly does get better. Everybody has friendship troubles and worries in school, college and university filter you better into contact with people you can relate to.
There's always somebody who will talk to you. Be it at school, at home or on the interwebs.
>>671909905
cont
>>671903038
also, you're Naruto
lets do this
>be 14 year old me
>just start to notice grill in class thats gone to school with me for years
>megusta.jpeg
>muster every bit of charm and charisma that I have in me to win her
> get that shit done
> start spending all my time with her and think about her all day everday for a month
>she becomes my everything
>realize Im in love for the first time
>tell her I love her and we both start crying and laughing like crazy holding eachother
>mfw no drug ever can hold a candle to that feel
> someone starts spreading rumors about me doing drugs and stealing shit
>I did steal some shit one time because I hung out with a bad crowd but didnt do drugs
>It gets around to her
> Before I can get around to explaining shit to her she sends someone to tell me shes breaking up with me
> storm out of the school building before lunch and hop fence
>go apeshit all over town and go home
Tomorrow is a year since we first started dating and I can't let go, listening to music is my only relief
>>671910129
hol up if 6+19 is banana
are you 15
>>671884316
I hate myself, my life sucks, depressed since 5 months (ex left me). No motivation.
I'm a neet with a severe social phobia and depression. I cannot function in social situations at all. The thought of buying groceries terrifies me. The thought of interacting with family members terrifies me.
I tried going to school but I gave up because I was having panic attacks (my heart was racing and it literally made my shirt move, for one).
I think this fear all stemmed from the fact that I was bullied throughout my life, which made me shut everyone out, and that I haven't had a friend since I was 11. Doesn't help that my family is poor, I have no idea who my father is and I'm gay.
I'm just stuck in a rut and I have no idea what to do. And I'm too much of a bitch to kill myself.
Existing literally hurts. It's hard to stay positive, hard to hope that things will change.
>>671889517
I dont give a fuck anymore. She changed and I cant even believed I ever loved her.
at what age did you faggots lose your v card? Or are you like me, still "saving" it?
>>671910129
Hey look guys... Underage.
>>671910129
nobody fucking cares MODS underage b&
>>671910713
Never. I spooned with a cute guy though recently and he wrapped his arms around me and told me my hair smelled nice.
Probably one of the happiest moments of my life. Y'know, I would go back in time and do it over and over again.
>>671910616
math for the fucking win
yes I am
btw I realize what a shallow bitch she was about dropping my ass but I can't help it, Im a semi-popular guy who is a lowkey 4chan browser perverted fuck with serious problems and just can't let her go
Was anyone around when the Anon in this was writing it? (I was in the thread at the time)
yeeeeeaaaaaaaa its only you who decides to put me in your consciousness, this isnt a party, i didnt invite anybody
>>671910959
thanks /b/ro
Two pieces of advice from an old (just plain old) fag for almost everyone in these threads:
1. Happiness is a choice you make. Nothing and no-one can *make* you happy. Only you.
2. Learning not to care will save your existence, it will set you free, and allow you to Live.
Be positive, see the best in all you can, let go, move on, relax, accept what you have, be happy.
I didn't say it's easy, but it is within Your power.
>>671911017
what age are you? also do you think being a virgin is necesarily a bad thing?
I have a pretty good life, good grades, job lots of friends and nobody really dislikes me. I've been told by multiple people I'm pretty good looking so let's say 7/10 at least. I'm just a beta faggot when I'm 1 on 1 with girls and that's my problem I guess... not that anyone here cares but I can always tell you guys anything with out shame ya know?
>>671911456
you're welcome faggot, love you.
>>671910713
16, first gf ever, 2year relationship, less than a month from 3, then I decided to break up because she clearly didnt love me anymore, and to tell you the truth, I hadn't loved her for more than a year before breaking up
>>671911595
thanks for the advice, old man.
>>671911595
thank you wise man. Thank you for actually changing my mindset in that small piece of text.
>>671911695
18. I don't think it is that bad of a thing tbh... I mean when you get down to it you just put something somewhere and the title dissapears.
I'm apparently really attractive but I don't gauge myself. From what little times I get out there I've caught people checking me out a LOT.
I went to a restaurant back in December and a girl waitress there who was about a 7.5/10 just would not stop staring at me and smiling at me.
>>671913185
nice, goodluck to both of us I guess
enjoy your life /b/ro
>>671913346
people will say you've got it better than most of us here
judging from your situation, I'd say it's only a matter of time before you get good at talking with girls :)
Never want this thread to die.
>>671913653
I guess you're right there. I also don't feel the need to be with a girl atm, at least not relationship wise. I'm foussing on shcool and money more, but "society makes such a big deal about your social status."
>trying not to sound like an adgy faggot here
>>671914142
we'll make a new one if we have to <3
Random anon here. I don't post often, and I am a newfag, but it might help someone else out there.
So, I started out strong, was a pretty good contender in middle school. Not the best of the best but C or above was decent enough. High school first and second year were the same. Junior year hit, and suddenly, I started to feel out of place. things started to fall into chaos, I didn't feel as if I mattered anymore. Life spiraled out of control, and I no longer had any desire to do anything. Games were my obsession, and before then, I would happily play a game. But up till that point, they were just a happy place to mess around in. Now they were a distraction. I felt broken, useless, unloved, and rejected. I still had friends, but, quite frankly, I was just going through the motions. nothing mattered anymore, there was no gleam, no sunshine.
Then I met her.
I joined robotics to get more into engineering, programming, factory labor, that sort of thing. I still find a lot of joy in doing that kind of stuff. she was a new recruit to the team that year. I had been on it since freshman year, and she joined as a sophomore, and though I was a junior, we quickly became friends. during competitions, we walked around together, discussing games and nerddoms, and other things we both enjoyed. Then, during spring break, she invited me and a few other of our mutual friends over. I was the only one who showed up. We had a fantastic 4-5 hours of just playing various smash bros games, and we laughed it off. Months later, I learned that she had cried and cried after the party was over. She had a friend that showed up, and one who treated her well, not just as a girl, but as a legitimate friend.
Summer started, and we hung out a lot, she hosted a few more smash parties (my house is NOT suited for that kind of thing) and we walked around town a few times too. She made me feel worth something, and it had been a long time since I had felt that. (cont. soon)
>>671914142
feels never die
it'll be back tommorow and every day after
>>671914323
>trying not to sound like an edgy faggot here
not at all, that IS what society is about after all, but yeah, it would definitely be wise to make school and stuff first a priority
>>671914511
checked and cried with happines for you
>>671914511
About mid-July, I started to realize that this feeling i had been feeling since about May was actually love. not just a crush that was never acted upon, but love that had to be acted upon.
Soon, school started, and we could not hang out as often as we had previously. However, fridays are reserved for our movie night, and we would watch movies together. we started at opposite ends of the couch, and stayed there quite a while. We had good times there. we laughed and watched movies, and it started out or watching movies, but for me, it started to become an excuse to see her again. During this time, I learned about her past, and she learned about mine. She had her brother thrown in jail multiple times for drug abuse, and she was only about 14 at the time. She told me that she had almost gone with her brother's route, and likely would have ended the same way he did. But there was one thing that kept her going. After this, I learned that depression ran in the family, and that I probably inherited it.
Then, late November, we started talking. We started to get into some deeper conversation topics, and I told her that I loved her. My heart dropped a bit for those 30 seconds she spent rereading the text. Then she responded back. She loved me too. I honestly couldn't believe it. I spent the rest of that week in another world. This sucking void that had been in my life for a year, about a year and a half at that point, was actually gone. She made me feel again, she made me love again, she made me live again. This was when I found out, as she was with me, I was the one who had kept her going, kept her from being a drug addict. I was loved.
In the days, weeks, and months following that, I thought (and still think) how lucky I am. If there's hope for me, there's hope for everyone /b/ros, maybe youre just looking in the wrong places. I sincerely hope that every /b/ro finds their happy place. (cont.)
>>671914511
Keep going. I like this story so far.
>>671910713
23 and still haven't.
I'm training to become a wizard.
>>671914984
It doesnt have to be a girl, it could be a hobby, a community, something else. I was so stupid for falling into the trap of thinking that death was the only way to be happy. I've been there. I've never felt what its like to be high, or drunk, but I've been at the end of my rope before. I've hated myself (still do, to some extent, but I'm better now, and I'm healing) but I'm rebounding. Something turned my life upside down. I'm not saying this will work for everyone, but if you're feeling hated by everyone, then the issue isn't you, it's the incompatibility between you and the group. Go find a group where you can talk to, a group that will accept you. That is the only way you can be happy. Stay alive /b/ros, I'm pullin' for ya!
>>671915736
Thank you so much for this. I'm not necessarily depressed, but this made me so happy. Godspeed anon
Feels chat, got 15 atm, join if you want someones to talk with, or just chat. If you're feeling like shit join -Dog
>>671889517
Gillian. I don't no what to do. I just wish I could forget about her, but I see her everyday. I'm pretty sure she is into this other girl.
>>671916086
youre welcome anon, and good luck and godspeed to you too. I know it's my first relationship, and we're both new at this, but we hope to make it work.
>>671915436
don't give up faggot, keep /b/ in your heart. you know we are one big pile of shit, but we love eachother.
GUYS I NEED YOUR HELP!
I a several anxiety Problems. I cant sleep with all this. Its 2:01 am and i should already sleep. Had nightmares last night. What to do?
>>671917302
Melatonin
>>671917302
Prozac?
>>671917468
>>671917761
Only have some Xanax. But they dont would help.
>>671916897
Fair enough. We are indeed a cesspool, but a cesspool that tries to build each other up.
>>671918195
*wouldnt
So me and this girl are tight, do a lot of shit together, not friend zoned, she always makes nervous jokes about us being together.
Except the thing is, like fucking clockwork she will start being flirty with other guys and refer to them as her boyfriend too just when I think I have the balls to ask her out.
It fucking destroys my self confidence each time and makes me feels nothing we had was special, despite her blatantly telling me to ask her out.
>>671918890
when you ask her, if you decide to do so (takes a lot of guts) tell her that. if she's the right girl for you, she'll respect that. If she does that, she really does like you. remember anon, asking is the hard part.
>>671884316
I love her so much, literally would die for her or spend my entire life earning just to give to her, have no aspirations in life except for this one lady. She lives far away from where I live and I think about her everyday, she doesn't have the same mindset as I do because she ain't dumb like I am.
>>671888292
i feel ya
bumping
Wife asked for a divorce after 11 years. I tried everything, she doesn't want to try to make things work. Moved out of my house two months ago at first to "give her time and space". Two weeks ago she told me she has filed for divorce online. She kept the car I bought her with money from selling my sports car, our three bedroom house and my two dogs. I don't know how to get through this. Been drinking myself to sleep every night. Worst part is I still love her despite how she's acting. Tried to pick up a few things from the house and see my dogs a few days ago and she won't let me. She said she'd split our tax refund (joint filed as married) and then only gave me half of my share and refuses to give me the rest. I'm too defeated to even care at this point. What the fuck do I do guys? I can't keep drinking myself to sleep.
>>671884716
i know that feel
Does anyone have that "My little Ellie" feels image? That one gets me everytime and i need it
>>671917302
Let cold water run over your forearms for 1 minute. Go to bed and focus the black. Start to disrupt your thoughts when you realize you're pondering. It is the speech area in your mind that won't rest. Get it to rest.
>>671921510
It's been posted in this thready already actually
>>671891028
>>671921510
Here you go.
>>671921707
>>671921510
Lurk more, it was already posted
>>671919342
I don't know man, it fucking happened today again and I was sorta short with her. It might be a good thing to get her out of my life, or I might be overdramatizing this.
>>671921890
sorry man. if theres one thing ive learned, everything works itself out, but you just have to work at what you want, its not going to come to you. not unless youre royalty.
Bump
Well /b/ros, let me tell you about her.
>Be me
>Highschool white boy
>15 yo
>Still be me
>Have alot of friends, pretty good life
>My friend Angel introduces me to a girl named Miya
>So_beautiful.png
>My_dream_girl.jpeg
>She has BF
>Ah fuck
>They always hang out in my group
>Always making out
>I would always glance over at them from time to time
>FF 2 weeks
>BF isnt making her happy, Miya doesn't feel equally treated
>Her and BF break up
>nowsmychanceholyfuck.png
>Me and her instantly jump into a relationship
>Shes so fucking hot
>Cant believe I actually got with this girl
>We start kissing, making out, ect.
>First time doing actual shit like that
>alpha.gif
>She seems sad
>Tells me were not really "clicking" anymore, and says we should just be friends
>fuck...
>Depressed, always depressed, some happy times, but seeing her just ruins my day. I love her
>FF 3 weeks
>Asshole fuckboy named Brian said I called her a slut and stuff when I didn't
>Just lots of drama going on right now, alot of people in my group are breaking up and shit and its just sad chaos crap
>Anyways
>FF today
>We went out and talked
>She said that I heard her call her those things
>I tell her it didnt, she also feels guilty because she feels like everything that has happened is all because of her
>Shes now crying in my arms
>Her and I haven't been really talking or "being friends" like she said her and I would be
I lost her, she's gone. I regret everything I did, I was an influence on her to break up with her ex, I was filled with greed and selfishness. I wish I could go back and try things again in a different way. And when she was crying in my arms today, I had a flashblack of when we were together, I would always hold onto her, I was clingy most of the time. I will never find a girl like her, her short short jeans, her hair, her eyes, but theres on thing I really never forgot. It was the way she did things.. She would always sit onmy lap and leanback ona table orsomething,makingme feelspecial..
>>671924106
No offence dude but you're 15, this sort of experience is what makes you tougher in life bro.
>>671924873
I know, im getting over it, but I waited so long for a girl like her to come into my life, I waited for 3 years, and the relationship her and I had only lasted barely a week. It ended to quick, now I sit here waiting again
>>671889517
Raj from backhome
>>671925380
You got plenty of time ahead dude, all you gotta do is keep getting out there and you'll meet loads of girls. Only thing you gotta do is realize that she might not be THE one.
