Feels thread. Im depressed as fuck but for some reason i still care about certain things. How do i stop caring about everything /b/ros?
Let me know when you find out
Wander outside at night, attempt to grasp the expanse of the universe. Realize how massive it really is and how insignificant everything we know really is. Some day our solar system itself will cease to exist and its passing will have no effect whatsoever to anything but itself.
>>671107530
Wut
>>671108296
This
>>671107218
Hey anon, in my books any reason to live is good.
I don't think it's a good goal; trying not to care about things.
Why do you feel bad, anon?
"Hey there gorgeous
Do you remember the first time we met? It was like -5 degrees and you were wearing a grey scarf and drinking a coffee... Guarantee it was an extra sweet hazelnut with milk because I know now that's your favorite. Our boss introduced us and I probably made some stupid joke and called him 'babycakes' and he called me 'sunshine' because this company is full of idiots. I remember walking by you on my lunch break and you were standing outside your car smoking and the whole time I walked in your direction I was struggling to come up with something to say to you I just kept walking and didn't say anything, even though you smiled at me as I made eye contact with you.
I remember getting to know you over the following weeks as we took smoke breaks together and bullshitted about nothing. I remember how you never mentioned that you had a boyfriend to me, and I never mentioned I had a girlfriend. I remember everybody telling me that for whatever reason, you and I were just made to be together, and that there was an obvious mutual attraction there. And how every time I walked away from talking to you, you'd apparently be in the best mood you'd been in all day.
I remember everything about every day I see you because you make me so happy. You really do. I just want you to know how much I love you. But I know I'm never going to give you this anyway cause I'm a little bitch.
Anyways, again, I love you.
- N (written inside a poorly drawn heart)"
I got drunk and wrote that last night. At least drunk me knows my sober self's shortcomings. On my days off from work and I fucking miss her. Shit's embarrassing.
>>671107218
Dont feel bad bro, im 99% sure that i have HPV aka Genital warts after fucking some masochistic slut so atleast you dont have bumps on your dick like me!
>>671107218
Ive been this way for a long long time...
>>671108296
checking those videos about the end of the world always destroyed my sense of importance.
there's one gif that just shows a timelapse of the universe and the first time i saw it i was pretty depressed
>>671108737
dont know i just always feel like shit. Been depressed since i was in 7th grade. I cant control my thoughts. Councselor says it could be a chemical inbalance in my brain.
>>671109812
This times 1000. Fuck man...
>>671107218
You're always gonna care. You're a human being with feelings. It's good that you care OP. it's all a matter of what you care about. Care about that shit. Feel!
>>671109882
Glad to hear you have a councellor anon. Maybe he/she's right, maybe not...
How you dealing?
Have you told your councellor about suicidal thoughts?
>>671110214
Yes. Im very open. Im on my 4th medication now. Still not working.
I stay up at night, go outside and I look at the night sky. I reflect on my past, but I always wonder and i always find myself asking the question: why did she leave me?
>>671110310
ouch.
In the UK the most common note to have traces of coke on is the £20 note. The fact that it's a more common note doesn't mean it's used more when snorting - typically retards like you think having Coke means you're big time, so you make sure you've got a 20 handy all night to show how big time you are, you then call anyone using a smaller note a pleb, because that then re-emphasises how big time you are. After about the 3rd tiny line you've done, you then start telling everyone at the party that you and your dealer go way back, he's got loads of guns and you've been to loads of wild parties with him and he's definitely not someone to mess with, but he's always got your back. You are now very confident about how big time everyone thinks you are, until it's at about this time your mother texts or calls to check that you're not drinking too much. When people ask who that was on the phone you say it's "just some girl hassling you to go and see her", when questioned about this girl you tell everyone that they've never met her and she's really hot but she's crazy so you can't be dealing with her tonight - people ask for pictures but you change the subject very quickly. Safe in the knowledge you've reassured everyone how big time you now are, but still have one last hidden surprise to hammer this home: a cigar. Either stolen from your dad, or you bought the cheapest, biggest cigar you could get from your local 24/7, you casually pull it out as if it's nothing and you smoke cigars all the time. In fact, you proceed to tell everyone exactly that: "yeah guys, it's a more acquired taste but you really get used to it" (you repeat, almost in between every drag). You offer the cigar out to everyone to try. After about a quarter of it's gone and 15 mouths have made the end so wet, actual spittle trails come off it when you put your lips around it, you leave it in a cup in the kitchen to "finish later", and then go back to walking around the party with your 20 in hand.
Why does everyone hate me? I always try to be nice to everyone and they fuck me over. Im so innocent
>>671110376
Shitty deal anon. Can take a lot of tries before you find the goldilocks formula (been having pills forced in my face since I was 13, took a lot more than 4 tries, I tell you whut, lol).
Do you think you can find the strength to keep trying?
>>671109812
fuck, having just been broken up with my first true love, this hits me so fucking hard.
>>671110398
Don't think anybody can answer that question for you, anon.
But if it means anything, this song helped me get over a girl
> pic related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MejbOFk7H6c
>>671110615
Maybe your weird. Maybe your an aspie.
Maybe they're not real friends.
You ok anon?
>>671110577
> check'd
Also interesting story, I can semi-relate. Used to be big into crack (Canadafag here, coke is soooo 90s, lol).
Used to be popular b/c I always had money (oil rig pig), always had crack, always knew how to party and lie to make myself cool.
>>671111111
>>671110735
I dont know about trying but i kinda just exist. My best and only true friend is in prison. I was talking to this girl ive known since 6 grade. We were talk for a good month and i felt so comfortabke and open with her. I could talk anout anything with her. We talked on the phone for 5 hours one night and she was flirting with me alot talking about just cuddling and things like that. I was in love. And then the next day she ignores me. Havent talked to her since. I was nothing but kind to her. I really dont know what i did she just stopped talking to me. I thought i found the one. I cant get over her. Wtf did i do wrong? Plus all of my countless other problems i have. I really dont think i can make it much longer. No one truly cares about me anymore. I cant keep a friend for more than two weeks before they cut me off for no particular reason. Whats wrong with me
>>671112367
Shittyt hat the girl doesn't talk to you anymore... can you see her irl or is it a long distance thing?
Keep in mind she has a life of her own too, don't think of her ignoring you as a personal judgment on your character.
Sorry to hear about your friend, when does he get out?
As for your friends.... chances are you're just an aspie weirdo like me. Don't worry, you'll get used to it. There's always friends out there, even for the weirdos. :)
> pic unrelated, vidya feels for me
>>671112367
I just want to be on my own but i depend on people so much and want someone to talk to and hang out with but they fuck me over
>>671113031
A real life thing. She tries to avoid all contact with me now. Also the day after we talked on phone i was talking to her and about 10 minutes after that conversation she tweets "how obvious am i suppose to make it that i dont want u to talk to me!!" Like bitch you just talking about sucking my dick the night before wtf
>>671113587
Sounds like the girl has her own issues to work through anon. Try to give her space.
Maybe she'll come back to you and maybe not, but let her go for now anon....
Anyone know how to make sure you forget about a years worth of activities with someone?
Hey guys. I'm a STEM major at a pretty decent university, and I'm just struggling right now. My classes are beyond hard, I can't seem to focus, my boyfriend is taking away from my studies
I'm tired, and I feel depressed, and kinda just gross
IDK what to do
>>671114162
Don't forget those memories. Treasure them. You got to enjoy a year with someone you cared about.
What happened, anon?
>>671114175
Nigga you sound like you got big plans. Don't give up....
You're in a competitive series of classes, they're SUPPOSED to drive you close to your breaking point.
Is this what you want with your life though?
>>671113985
Damn...
> My personal favorite feelspasta
> Fucking soul-crushingly sad ending
> For full feels play "No Surprises" by Radiohead (song featured in story)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5CVsCnxyXg
I give up /b
>>671114931
> I give up /b/
Why do you feel that way anon? Care to share?
>>671107218
>>671115541
>horrible diseases are killing my family
>>671115677
You too, huh?
>>671107218
Get a robot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGwFZj3YPwY
>>671107218
don't stop caring OP
the second you stop caring you will have no reason for living.
actually.. Who fucking cares? go kill yourself faggot; there is literally no point in living
>>671110310
I can't stand these.
Its like, with that attitude? Yeah. None of that shit will come true. Keep telling yourself all those things and that will be your reality. Miserable cucks.
>>671115755
>checked and saved
>good feels music
This Too Shall Pass by OK GO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qybUFnY7Y8w
Writing's on the Wall by OK GO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qybUFnY7Y8w
>>671116071
Thats the problem. I want to die but i just dont completley have the will to an hero yet
Exposed my feelings to a girl i had a deep affection towards..she just ignored me ,it isnt the worst thing to happen on the planet..but that doesnt mean it doesn't hurt..ive been turned down before no big deal..i just wished she wasnt one of them because it cut me to my core she isnt the reason but i and young as fuck and yet i want to die which i fucking hate i do try to fight it but i just can't win..
>>671115785
Yeah. It's been happening ever since I first started becoming a teenager, cancer mostly. My brother is crippled by his arthritis too.
>>671115677
What's going on, anon?
>>671107218
You have to actively adapt to despise what you care about. The more you do this, the harder it becomes since you are most likely starting from what's easiest and progressing onwards
Try to remember what feelings have done to you, and whittle away at what is left of your meaningless humanity. Suicide is the end road to this, I'll see you there
>>671116268
It's hard opening up to girls, glad you found the courage to do so. Thanks for sharing anon.
And either way, it sounds like you've got a good attitude about it....
> been turned down before
We all have.
Keep your heart open, anon. :)
>>671115875
If everyone's lives were static, similar, and had the same life expectancy, then there would be some truth to this. But reality is that you really don't know when your life will end. Will you die tommorow in a car crash on the way to work? Will you die in 10 minutes by slipping in the shower? Or will you die when you reach the age of 110?
Its just something we needn't think about, because we have no control over. Accepting mortality, and seizing the day is the best way to live.
>>671116276
My aunt just found out she has breast cancer. She has a 10 year old daughter who lost her grandma not too long ago.
>>671116662
Does cancer run in your family?
Why is commiting suicide so hard? I mean lets be honest if it werent such a challenge alot of us wouldnt be here right now
>>671108296
This, all the way. My friends don't understand why I'm so lax AND depressed, I've tried to explain to them that nothing really matters, but they don't understand.
>>671116859
Two ways of looking at it.
1.) Takes a lot of courage to keep living
2.) Takes a lot of courage to kill yourself
Why are you considering suicide, anon?
>>671116649
Jesus is the Truth regardless of variables.
pray.
>>671116757
Yeah, in both sides it seems.
>>671115785
How man have you lost? It seems like death is all around me.
>>671114288
She left and the memories haunt my dreams at night. I haven't slept in 3 days so I don't have to fall asleep and see her.
>>671117229
Grandmother already, uncle a couple of years ago, and my mother is going through it right now.
Feels threads are the best. Its one of the only threads on b where people can actually keep a decent conversation going. I love you /b/ros.
>>671117073
Shitty deal, anon, take care of yourself, don't start smoking (pic related).
How are you dealing?
>>671117255
Dunno if this means anything, but you WILL get over her eventually. We all do.
It's good that you opened up your heart. Eventually, you'll feel better and you'll want to feel that again, instead of the pain you feel right now.
>>671117626
That's the hard part. I see her almost weekly.
>>671114494
I got okayish plans, I want to be a dermatologist! I think this is what I want?
I just want a normal girl that i can lay with for hours and talk. I dont care about sex anymore. I just want her to care about me.
>>671117774
Damn, that is shitty. Any way to put distance between yourself and her... at least for the time being?
>>671117355
That's terrible. I can't even imagine.
>>671117483
I stick with religion. I want to make my family proud. There are times when I go on very long walks thinking about everything, but it doesn't really get better. Lost my innocence when my grandma died, I'm sure it's the same for my cousin, can't imagine how it would feel to lose your mother
>>671117906
> I think this is what I want?
You think or you know? It's your life anon. You sound like your putting yourself through hell here; make sure it's worth it.
If it means anything, you're still young.... and you sound smart enough to have a decent future even if this doesn't work out.
>>671109100
Underrated post
Feels music: Massive Attack & Tricky - Take it There
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWSt_q7M3zI
Anybody else in the thread got feels music they'd like to share?
I'm so fucking dumb /b/
>be me 2 days ago at mall
>walking to store in the mall
>behind this really hot girl
>she keeps looking at me and smiling
>forget I got /fit/ and that i wasnt a fat weeb anymore
>think that she thought i was a fucking creep and wanted her to leave her alone
I could've fucking talked to her but I'm such a retard I forget how dumb i was
I miss her so much.
I love her
Even though she broke my heart
>>671118532
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEWF2xh5E8s
Yeah
>>671118661
Takes work talking to girls anon. Despite the fact that you got fit, you probably still feel like a weeb on the inside.... next time, just go for it, nomatter how uncomfortable you feel?
>>671118715
Yeah
>be me
>life goal to get into the United States Military Academy
>get accepted
>6 months later Surprise Medical Shit
>Army Says Fuck Off
>mfw I'm on 4chan at 2 in the morning
>how did it all go so bad
>>671118784
Old Snake Theme from mgs4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_k3n5me4Rns
Love Theme (again mgs4)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGf2b1H91JA
>>671117967
No, not exactly. She always seeks me out. Says it's because she still loves me even after all this shit, but if that was true why the fuck would she leave?
>>671119176
Why did they reject you anon? Health problems or drugs?
>>671119176
U got lucky. Dont be a worthless slave for some piece of shit money hungry fucks.
>>671117067
Not the same person. But i used to be a christian. Used to go to church wednesdays and saturdays. Now i just dont see the point in going on. I do everything i can to keep myself happy, or finding a reason to believe there is a higher power. But recently, ive just come tothe conclusion that no god (if he loved me) would let me continue suffering.
>>671119366
Girl's got issues man, sounds like she can't make up her damn mind (I got a girl in my life with the same problem, she's trying to keep me around as a backup incase her current relationship doesn't work out, feelsbadman).
You need some distance man. Don't let her use you as a damn chew toy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK7GSARUs_Q
>>671119401
Never did drugs so that I wouldn't have this fucking problem. No, just some minor stuff for life outside the military but it disqualified me nonetheless.
>>671119739
Shitty deal anon. Will they ever take you back?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't join to do my damn duty either. Bad heart.
Told the fuckers to just use me as a sandbag but liability, so no deal.
Makes this the first generation in my family to have nobody that did their damn duty to their country since wwi. Great legacy, ha ha.
>>671119576
Like, she's not dating anyone, and while I love her, this shit is fucking with my head coupled with some other shit that's fucking with me.
Why would you want to be that girl's backup, tho?
>>671116566
I opened up to the only girl i ever loved. She was my everything, we gave each other our love, time and effort.
I waited so long to find a love as pure and right as hers and I enjoyed every single second of it. For so long I was lonely in my life, sure I had a few friends (still do) but they have their own lives. I felt so dark and lifeless, like life was just so transient.
Then she came along.
She found me and I found her.
Dear God it was the best years of my life. A love so grand that it was so right.
Then, she left.
Now i'm back to that dark empty feeling that once occupied my soul.
>>671119995
> why would you want to be that girl's backup
I don't. I cut off all contact a few days ago. Basically had to confront her to get the truth out of her, realized what was happening (I've been around, not the first time a girl has tried playing stupid games with me).
Truth is, I already knew (suspected) something was up, was just nice having somebody to cuddle with. It's pathetic.
Motherfuck a future count down til i die days roll by i just wanna get high
>>671120200
Bummer, dude. Quick question, you ever feel like maybe you might literally be dead?
>>671120360
It's occured to me, but idgaf anymore. I'm just here for the ride, ha ha.
>>671119561
This is very similar to me.
I went to a Catholic school and was told that God was behind everything.
I lost my mother to cancer and my gf left me recently and I always wonder why that God in His wisdom allows people to suffer.
I still believe in God, just very distant now.
>>671120500
Right. Anything else bothering you man?
I see all these people on instagram and snapchat at parties on this beautiful friday night. And what am i doing. Week after fucking week. It would be nice to get invited to something every once amd a while.
>>671120656
Not at the moment anon. I'm pretty sure I've already been through my crucible. Could share my story if interested.
>>671110990
I know your pain, anon.
>>671118532
Contribootin'>><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KGLY7mjul4s" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
>>671120795
Same here anon... same here
>>671120798
I am interested.
>>671109100
Genuinely interesting.
>>671109812
Jokes on you, I found my now wife of 16 years when I was 12. I fell in love and never stopped.
>>671116757
Everyone gets cancer given enough time.
>>671110005
You're right. I didn't want to grind anymore, but I see now I need to get off /b/ and back to work. Thank you anon.
>>671117443
Somewhat
>tfw I never get replied to, so now I rarely ever post.
>>671120035
I couldn't help but smile when I realized this was limp bizkit
>>671118532
<iframe width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KGLY7mjul4s?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
>>671121081
Fair enough.
> Am currently 24 y/o welder for a decent company (kind of a dead-end job, but ok pay)
> Went to uni for 3 years (2008-2011). I don't even tell ppl about that anymore because they ask "why didn't you finish" and I choose to say "I was too dumb and flunked out lol" instead of the truth
> Truth being; met an awesome girl named Laura at uni, we fell in love, I got her preggo, she slit her wrists in bathtub after we had an argument and I found her body in tub 2 days later (had spare key to her dorm room).
> Basically stopped giving a fuck. Too much of a coward to kill myself, too much of a coward to keep living, so I basically just floated along
> Dropped out of uni, burned all my bridges, destroyed my future (was a pre-med student with 3.7 gpa)
> 4 years later; I'm a homeless crackhead piece of shit, when one day I woke up and realized I was ready to move on and had no idea how
> So I tried to kill myself by overdosing (crack + alcohol + ghb).
> woke up in hospital, got put in mental health ward
> Was crying like a little bitch on a bench a few days later, when a little girl (7 yo) with stage 4 terminal leukemia came up to me, asked me what was wrong, and it all came pouring out
> That little girl (named Emma) was the strongest human being I've ever met; facing certain death and she knew it, but no fear. And she gave a fuck about me, reached out to me. Put things in perspective; if that little girl can be so strong in the face of death, then I've got no fucking excuse whatsoever to be such a little bitch.
> For the next 2 years (until now) fought my way back to... something. Got a decent job, apartment, feeling optimistic about my future.
> Last year was a shitty year for me, was suicidal in November, but an anon on a feels thread saved my life by talking to me.
> So now I owe a debt to /b/ and I intend to pay it (pic related)
So basically I should be dead by rights, but something (fate? God?) keeps putting things in my way to save life.
>>671122145
>https://www.youtube.com/embed/KGLY7mjul4s?rel=0
Life didnt turn out the way i was told it was going to when i was young. I was supposed to hang out with friends throughout my teenage years, go to parties, hook up with girls and wake up in the morning wondering what happened the night before. I was supposed to graduate high school with a decent grade amd go to college. I was supposed to get a nice job that i enjoy doing that pays well. I was supposed to fall in love with a beautiful woman and marry her and have 3 kids. I was supposed to watch them grow up and have a happy life and be successful. They were supposed to find love and have kids so i could be a proud grandfather. I was supposed to die a peaceful death in my bed next to mu wife of 60 years. My famil, my friends and the people ive met throughout my life were suppose to reminisce at my funeral about how happy and what a great guy i was. But instead im sitting here at 2:54 am on a friday night all alone with a cigarette on my lips and a loaded 9mm on my lap. Goodnight /b.
>>671122481
Hey anon, thanks for sharing. Please don't an hero , anon?
>>671122481
Peace out broscout
> random pic that gives me feels
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Euj9f3gdyM
You're a stupid, worthless faggot.
> Stories from a 911 operator
1/3
>>671122204
Good, man. I'm glad you made it.
>>671123213
>>671122204
Well I guess if by divine intervention you really mean desperate reasoning I get you. Though it should be noted that you will probably end your own life in the next court of years. Experienced horrible trauma, digs self deep in emotional hole, begins to climb out. Here's where predictable tendencies come into play; you obviously weren't strong enough to handle your initial breakdown, and now you've added more struggles into your life in light of that incapabity. Your on a road with one end, and no amount of Emma's will turn that course. Maybe it's time to go gently into that good night, and accept you cannot fight the dying of the light.
the last few lines of this hit me hard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qNrXamst2M
>>671117956
She'll find you
.
>>671123245
Thanks anon
>>671123559
> probably end your own life
Statistically, you're probably right, anon.
But I'm pretty good at defying statistics. I mean, going by my shitty childhood, economic status, and race (Canuck abo) I should be ok. Thanks for the kick in the ass though, anon, we all need one every now and then.
>>671122481
Doesnt work that way. Have dignity, don't leave messes for others. We suppose doctors don't feel bad when they diagnose, but realistically they're likely the most empathetic professionals out there. Someone will regret your loss, someone will mourn your potential. Don't let that be all you leave.
>>671107218
be a sociopath /bro. it's real freedom
>>671123559
And furthermore, I absolutely refuse to accept the "dying of the light" bullshit. Despite all the bullshit I've put myself through, I'm a tough stubborn motherfucker.
Moments when I feel hopeless, I say FUCK THAT and keep fighting. It's human nature.
:)
>>671112367
go for a hike or something. watched a movie called everest and a guy in there had depression but he climbed mountains and it went away. based off a true story.
who knows maybe itll work for you.
>>671123559
>>671124128
Np man. If you can do it more power to ya, if not no worries, life is a shitty hand to be dealt. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is accept that you have never really been in control, only guided by circumstance and motivation.
>>671124590
:) just wait, there will be a time in your life when the sentiment of stubbornness is eclipsed by the notion of eternal comfort.
>>671124857
> never really been in control, only guided by circumstances and motivation?
And?
It's not like I'd know the difference, so idgaf
>stubborness is eclipsed by the notion of eternal comfort
Interesting viewpoint. Will be sure to keep my guard up for that.
Probably have a few decades of stubbornness left anyway, I'll be sure to do something interesting with that, lol.
Eventually, when you've gone through enough shit, you'll realise how completely worthless life is. Then you'll be free to do whatever the fuck you want.
Fuck random women. Race cars and motorbikes. Do drugs. Why the fuck not? It's not going to ever matter.
>>671125427
>>671125427
Gay faggot bullshit saw that punchline coming from a mile away.
>>671125367
I'm guessing you're fairly young. If not in age then in mindset. The continuity of hope in change is linear-depressing, the more you live the more you know, the more you know the more you question, the more you question the more you realize; ultimately youth is passion against the desire to realize. In the end, we never chose, we experienced, and endured, and thought change implied more than superficial circumstance.
>>671123412
Any more? These Are gr8
>>671125862
Forgot to post 3rd, little drunk, thx for reminding me anon.
>>671125965
forgot pic.
You know what? Nobody knows anything
Whatever your mindset is, it's basically a form of trying to be psychic
You don't absolutely know things are empty and hopeless
You don't absolutely know things are bright and good
Everyone pretends they absolutely know, but really the honest way is to not guess, to not try and be psychic
You don't have to be "happy"
and if you're not happy, it doesn't mean you're a hopeless loser
You can just be
Be alive, be real, just be you
The only thing you know for sure is what's right in front of your face. Anything else is just what some movie or tv show told you to think, a dramatic act
>>671125853
Am 24, turning 25. I acknowledge I am young, and I acknowledge my naivete; like holes in my wall that I'm constantly fixing. I learn fast, and I remember well, which seems to assist me. Have been able to sustain childlike capcity for optimism and kindness, and I intend to preserve that as long as possible, nomnatter the consequences. Am very stubborn as result of childhood; was beaten severely (to pt of broken bones). Fighting back was a more successful tactic than submitting (cowering seemed to aggravate her).
What does linear-depressing mean?
I would conjecture that you're not more than 10-15 years older than me. People older than that seem to choose to accept either the hedonistic or spiritual side of things.
What keeps you alive, anon, if you don't mind me asking?
Heroin.
>>671107218
The only feels I give a fuck about are dog feels. Please share yours
>>671126376
>form of trying to be psychic
huh?
What makes you so obsessed about the concept of pretending to be happy? I admit I do a lot of that; mainly a defence mechanism against being judged by ppl.
I think feeling like a hopeless loser is just bullshit self-doubt everybody does (look at this, I'm psychic trollololol).
What's right in front of your face right now, anon?
>>671126549
And that. Holy shit that stuff is awesome.
>>671126575
Bump with more doge
>>671126575
>>671108296
>>671109871
I feel great about everything. There's no reason to be depressed. doesn't actually matter. Try to enjoy life. When you die, there's nothing to actually feel. So, you need to control your thoughts, trust me. Work harder and you get better feels.
>>671126399
Linear-depressing is an expression of decline in what is being scaled, in this light, happiness. It's good to fight, or to rage as Dylan said so beautifully, but we are all experiencing the universe in our own route. You are perceptive, as I'm 34 and drink every night, eat awesome food, and look for meaningless pussy to find something in what is my life. Am I happy? At times, while intoxicated upon my vices, is my end that of sublime understanding? Absolutely not. I see myself laying down in front of a train with a handle of vodka in my veins and the pussy juice of some random on my dick. It's freeing, to not even suppose a better path.
>>671127223
I don't understand the purpose of lying down in front of a train with vodka and pussy juice. Both are comforting, but focussing on hedonism is what caused me to downspiral to try to overdose. What happens when there's not enough drugs to make you feel good?
Is there nothing else in your life, anon? I refuse to believe there is no other reason. Otherwise, why would so many people struggle to do good their entire lives?
At the very least, I gian comfort from the things I've been learning along the journey, the beautiful things I've seen, and the good ppl I've come into contact with.
Random feels music
> Grounds for Divorce by Elbow
> learned about song from Left 4 Dead tv ad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxczVhG0os8
>>671127551
Entropy. The lack of hedonistic tendencies reduces the desire to feel pleasure. Like a muscle unused, it fades. The mundane existence of social conformity and insurance insulates the same desire, one side is hyperemotional, the other hypoemotional. It's all a matter of perspective and delusion. I, of course, am deluded in my own willingness to be, while others abstain in a want to be.
>>671107218
It'll pass anon.(the depression) what do you still care about?
>>671109812
its overrated anon, neither of you know what you're doing, you think lust is love and that it'll last forever when in reality you just want to fuck like rabbits.
>>671128133
> Entropy
Just so happens we're hardwired to resist entropy.
> lack of hedonism kills desire to feel pleasure
I agree fully. Drugs and pussy are fucking awesome.
> social conformity and insurance
So you're stuck in a rut, you pretentious, big-words-using fuck.
I'm sorry man, but you sound like an idiot to me. You're saying shit to me that I was saying to myself when I was a dumb little kid that turned emo after his first gf an heroed.
Don't mean do be an asshole, but you sound like you just found emo 20 fucking years too late in life. Saying "oooh poor me life and the universe is meaningless" is the kind of emo bullshit that makes kids bunr themselves with lighters and cut themselves. Tell me that's not what you want out of life.
>>671128078
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ho9rZjlsyYY
Note the manipulation of not only transitions of minor chords but the bravado of tone between heavy-handed and wistful
>>671128666
The difference in your conclusion is I'm seeking some kind of deterrent to this train of thought, rather than accepting I'm a compilation of societal, personal, and pre-defined needs. I get the lash out against my posts, especially in your state of mind, bit minimilizing these notions with snide name calling like 'emo' is useless. I'm not attempting to sell you on my ideas of life and living, merely expressing them, just as you have been.
I dont remember where I got the concept from, but I remember it describing addiction like a pit.
If you decide to climb out of it, It'll be torturous and time consuming.
You will feel hope, the relief that you're no longer bound to that vice and you'll feel everything for the first time again.
but it comes at a cost, the pit will become your shadow.
waiting and creeping behind you looking for that careless step, for that undisciplined eye to wander towards it so it can drag you kicking and screaming again.
>>671129982
Hell is not what you've become, but who you could've been.
>>671129982
and I feel like it applies to depression as well.
I'm about to graduate from culinary school with honors
I have a girlfriend (the first since highschool around 8 years ago)
and I got promoted at my job
for all intents and purposes, im practically a normie with no reason to feel depressed.
but here I am, third time this week, sleepless, depressed with the same fucking thought looping in my head.
>"You don't deserve to be happy"
at this point I've forgotten where i was going with this
>>671130539
Happiness is relative, you can't always be happy, but you can be happier or less so. It's a matter of choice to emotionally contend with physical indicators of such. You don't feel good while cooking or making your gf cum?
>>671130371
Hell is for the dead. you're still here. why go early?
Feeling real shitty right now
>european exchange student system
>finnish girls come to my country for one week
>we are having fun
>last few days are getting intense
>eventually lose my virginity to one on the last day
>they're leaving today and my fingers still smell like her pussy
>worst of all I forgot my favourite shirt in their hotel and they brought it with them
Like I've only known them for a week but I already miss the girl that took my V card. I just feel like visiting her in Finland some time soon but I'm a poor fuck. I'm fucking dying right now because I can still see her face when I close my eyes and remember the smell of her hair.
>>671131348
Yo stop with the monkey brain champ.
>>671131348
Literally the most conditioned post I've ever read. No shit you're fantasizing about her twat, it felt good. Here's the twist, cunt on your dick feels good, Finnish or fucking French or your sister's. Stop lamenting and enjoy the age of sexual promiscuity.
>>671131315
Hell is shared by the dead and the envious, anon.
>>671126051
Do you have more, please?
>>671131061
happy was a poor choice of words, I feel like
I dont deserve it in general and that something is going to take them away
I felt good about cooking, but the last few classes are taking it to a level I dont care for, I've never been the kind of person who makes "art" out of food. You need a guy to break down a side of beef, smoke/cure your meats, make your kimchii,tofu or cheese im your guy.
but ask me to make "art" or tell a "story" with the food and you've lost me
>>671131348
ah dude, dont worry about it man. its more your dick talking than your brain.
give it another week and you'll be good as new
>>671131859
back to the original point though, you'll never be this person that could've been.
you'll only see this skewed image in your head
an unobtainable goal you make to shame yourself into believing you're worthless
>>671128666
Satanic trips
>>671134233
And my first ever dubs!!
>>671133327
Well I hope so. Like it's not only the sexI miss but also having girls that act like them. In my country they're too scared of contact and being close and shit. But atleast my friend is joking with me that we are the only idiots in our school history that fucked foreign exchange students.
>>671134608
they were different therefore exotic and new and you put your dick in one. of course you're gonna feel weird about not seeing them again.
