KOBOLD ADVENTURES: Different Writefag edition.
Not The same writer, obviously, but I'm going to try and copy his style.
Rules: After I post, I'm going to wait about 3 minutes, whatever has the most votes when I check happens. When it makes sense, multiple options will be written for, I've got about 2-3 hours so this might cliffhanger.
Only caveat is I won't right male-on-male steamy gay action unless it's brief and appropriate as part of a bad end. I'm way too straight for that, and it would probably be awful if I tried anyway.
Bad end options will exist, maybe I'll just murder you, maybe I'll roll for it on the downlow, it's a mystery.
Storytime:
To the north is the human city. It's large and a hub for commerce. Unfortunately your people are despised there and have no rights. They are often murdered, robbed, raped, or sold as slaves. Purely for the sake of reducing chaos, it is technically illegal to capture slaves or murder kobolds inside the city itself, but these laws are much easier to break than most, as few care to enforce them. Kobolds aren't the only race treated poorly. Humans are the dominate race in this part of the world, and they are a cruel bunch.
>>676839053
>>676839053
To the east your people have it even worse. That is where an orcish tribe has their "town", and a large mine. Kobolds there are slaves, and generally can expect to be worked to death. They have little other use for lesser races save as . . . food. . . . so venturing into their lands is likely a death sentence for any race.
To the west the normal woodlands you are in now merge with the great Elven forrest. It was once a pleasant place, but a large swathe of it has been burned and all the major cities destroyed. Now dark rumors abound and the edges of it are filled with the least savory of humans.
To the south there is a great mountain range, reputed to be home to a number of different races, including one of the few prosperous kobold warrens, or so you've heard.
You come from a much smaller warren, too close to the human city and orc lands to be safe, but hidden under a waterfall. Unfortunately, you're no longer welcome there.
You are a:
A: Male
B: Female.
>>676839133
Ps. Please post the letters for what you want so I can tally easily.
>>676839390
>>676839133
can we do write in as well for talking and such?
>>676839053
>wait about 3 minutes
>I've got about 2-3 hours
We won't get far
B
B
>>676839549
If I'm having enough fun I'll sacrifice my poor sleep. I'm a college student.
>>676839482
Sure, I'll include it as appropriate if it fits the winning option. Might paraphrase.
A
B
>>676839133
B
>>676839786
First to x is so much faster
>>676840027
Just shut up and play you fucking faggot.
>>676839053
hey op, make it first to 5 so it doesnt take 6 hours
>>676839133
It's unfortunate that you're a woman given how kobolds are treated in most of the world. If you don't keep your wits about you your life is likely to be brutal, short, or both.
To make matters worse, you were kicked out of your previous warren for
A: Being too promiscuious
B: Not being promiscious enough
C: Killing someone
D: Personally offending the matriarch.
E: Actually you left, that place was awful and boring.
E
>>676840305
Last story had issues with that, but I'm bumping it down to a minute and a half.
E
>>676840446
We can work with that.
>>676840312
Yeah, good riddience too. You'd never get anywhere in life if you stayed home surely.
Fortunately, you do have one skill that will help you in the world.
A: You're handy in the woods, easily able to evade detection and track others.
B: You're violent, quick with a blade or bow, and far more willing to fight dirty than most.
C: You like sex. A LOT. You're really amazing at it too, and look damn fine for a kobold.
E: You have a pinch of dragon magic, and can set things on fire with a touch.
Writin:
moar kobold porn
>>676841101
>>676841101
My stash is pathetic in size, I don't usually save it. Help me out.
>>676841096
E
you skipped d nigger
>>676841096
Can we get a mix of A and C?
>>676841096
E WE ARE DERGAN BORN!
>>676841096
E
BURN THE HERETICS
E
>>676841251
Fuck. Well we already knew I was a faggot.
>>676841482
You letter skipping mother fucker
Op you there?
>>676841096
Maybe one of your far distant ancestors got freaky with a dragon less distantly that one would expect, or maybe you could have been a sorceress in another life. Either way you can set shit on fire. Feels pretty good to do it too.... You spent a little time in the woods too, so you're familiar with how to move stealthily, but you weren't really encouraged to go places with flammable objects as a child.
Well, you're near a river, winding down from the mountains and off towards the north, right towards the human city.
You're a virgin, with no sexual experience of any kind.
You have a fur chestwrap, and a slightly singed and tattered loincloth, but it keeps you decent.
You have an obsidian knife, easily shattered but better than nothing.
A: Set off towards the human city.
B: Head towards Orcish lands.
C: Back into the mountains.
D: Into the elven forrest.
E: Actually, you like it right here, you're going to dig yourself a hole to live in.
D
>>676842341
D m8. always elves.
C
bumperino
>>676842341
You decide to go west, towards the elven forrest. Perhaps you'll find some way to improve your life away from the evil humans and orcs.
You set off, and swim deftly across the river, although it leaves your chest wrap soaked, and your loincloth sticking to the side of your leg instead of covering you properly.
It's early yet in the morning, just after dawn, the greyness of the sky is probably why you don't see the campfire smoke until you're almost ontop of it. Fortunately, it looks like the occupants of the makeshift campground are asleep.
There are three humans, all male. One of them was clearly supposed to be on guard, but has slumped against a tree in slumber. They'll probably wake up any moment.
A: Wouldn't it be funny if the sleeping fellow's tree were to mysteriously catch fire.
B: Rob the campground, you've got no supplies.
C: Try to kill them all.
D: Leave well enough alone.
E: Wake the man on watch and greet them.
E
preferably them covered in mulch so they do not act stupid
>>676844135
covered in mulch?
>>676843653
C Fire magic bitches
E
E
>>676843653
A m8
>>676844242
wood chips.
Super fucking flamable
>>676843653
Fulton Extract the sleeping guard
>>676843653
You hop forward brightly and tap the fellow sleeping against the tree on the shoulder to wake him up. You've never met a human before so you're kind of exited to see what they're like, even though you've only ever heard bad things about them.
The man blinks blearly, then startles awake, leaping to his feat and sucking in air to shout an alarm. . . . then he pauses, realizing there's only one small mostly naked Kobold standing in front of him.
"Hello, my name is ____" You say chipperly.
The man just stares at you for a moment, eyes you up and down and mutters, "uh, hello."
Oh right, what IS your name?
A: Aridia
B: Gwir
C: Diarja
D: Ojira
Writein:
(oops)
>>676845187
Write in
Punished Snake, A Hero Denied by his Homeland
>>676845187
C
also ask how he slept
>>676845187
Punished Snake
>>676845456
This
>>676845187
Topkek
>>676845456
>her homeland
>>676845187
Lmao yes Punished Snake
>>676845187
Gotta go with Punished Snake
>>676845456
This
>>676845619
Write in
Loli >>676845627
>>676845187
Fucking Punished Snake
>>676845187
Write in - Punished Snake
>>676845187
A
sexy name
>>676845187
Punished Snake > Everything else
>>676845187
Punished Snake kek
A
>>676845187
Punished Snake holy shit my sides
>>676845187
If Punished Snake doesnt win Im leaving
>>676845456
Kek!
This kofine posts only or is any fine
>>676845187
Not even an MGS fag but gotta say Punished Snake
Aridia meaning punishing snake
A
>>676846418
What
>>676845187
(well shit, kek).
"Punished Snake? Um, you want to talk?"
You: "Yes, I was wondering if you slept well, and I wanted to meet a human."
He glances at you edgewise, looking irretated, but his voice remains level and quiet.
"Let's get away from my companions aways, if I wake them early by talking to you they'll be furious." He strolls into into the woods and you follow him for a couple of minutes before the boredum pushes you to continue the conversation. After all, you were doing just walking by yourself in silence. You do notice he's still carrying the heavy staff he had for guard duty.
A: Ask him about his homeland
B: Ask him about human mating rituals
C: Show him a magic trick (you only know the one).
D: Awfully big silent forrest out here. You could always just stab him in the kidney. Humans are evil anyway right?
E: Ask him why they didn't have anyone awake for watch
writein:
If punished snakes does not win, Op is a faggot.
>>676845187
Punished Snake or bust
>>676846724
>>676846794
It almost didn't, it was a tie at time limit, so I waited for a tie breaker. Which was like 2-4 punished snake votes in a couple of seconds lol.
E
E
>>676846632
Was meant to say Kobold.
>>676846724
E
Then call him a faggot
>>676846724
E ask if we can join
Bumpin
>>676846724
"Soooo, why didn't you have anyone awake as a guard? Do humans not do that? Is it because you're too big to be afraid of things in the woods? Are you psychic?"
The man visibly twitches at your words. You think you see something pulsing on the side of his head. Maybe he has a disease. However he keeps walking for the moment.
"That's !- Well i-it's because yes, we aren't really worried about any of the things in the woods here. It's perfectly safe. No. Need. For. A. Watch." You're pretty sure he's lying though, as his voice is trembling a bit as he says it, so obviously he is afraid. At the end he seems to be having a hard time even speaking. You can't figure out why they wouldn't have a watch then if it's so scary here though.
Abruptly the man stops and turns to face you. He has an odd facial expression you're fairly sure humans refer to as a smile. Huh, you suppose all those human stories about enslaving and raping and murdering defenseless kobolds who go out on their own were just to keep you from having fun like you're doing now.
"So, what are you doing way out here? Don't you usually stay in your caves?"
A: "Well, I've left home by myself to go on an adventure, I'm heading towards the elven forrest."
B: "Yeah, usually, but not always."
C: Something seems a little fishy, "actually I've got to get going before anyone misses me."
D: "Yeah, whatever. Wanna see a magic trick?"
Writein:
>>676848546
Writein:
Make up a story and ask to tell it to everyone in camp.
Bards are always good.
>>676848546
A
Ask if you can join. You don't want him to be afraid anymore
>>676848546
A might as well.
>>676848888
A
Vote for quads
>>676848546
"I must journey to Lordran, ancient home of the great lords to find a cure for my undead curse."
Meh... A
>>676848546
D, aim for his weapon
>>676848546
B
>>676849008
This
>>676848849
Writein:
What this anon says. Specifically, that you've been sent to find the kobold king, despite kings nor oligarchies exist in kobold society.
>>676849008
Seconded
>>676848546
>"Well, I've left home by myself to go on an adventure, I'm heading towards the elven forrest."
"you could always come along if you're bored, you seem friendly enough."
His smile widens and he shifts his hands on his staff, licking his lips. His gaze draws your attention to the fact that your loincloth has still been stuck to your thigh this whole time. Man, that would have been embarassing if he were a kobold.
"Yes, I suppose you could use some company, we'll have to go back and tell my companions though." He gestures for you to turn around. Well, that was a long walk for nothing, you thought he'd at least have something interesting to say. It'll be nice to have a trave-- *oof*
You feel something impact the back of your legs hard, sending you sprawling to the ground. Before you can get up, something heavy falls on top of you, pressing your face into the ground and driving dirt into your mouth and nostrils.
You feel hot warm air on the back of your head, and realize that the human is on top of you, pressing you down.
"Heh heh heh, usually we have to work harder to find you lot. I can't believe my good luck catching the only kobold dumb enough to wander into the woods alone. You'll pay for taunting me about guard duty" He growls as he pulls the back of your loincloth aside.
A: Fight back tooth and nail.
B: Give up
C: Maybe you will show him that magic trick after all, up close and personal.
D: Try and get free to run.
E: Scream for help.
F: Bide your time *gulp*
writein:
>>676850283
B
>>676850637
C
Writin
FOR THE DWARVES BOATSMURDERED
>>676850698
Hot
Going with B)
B
B and stop samefagging you shit
>>676850637
C
write in
you know you need to be nicer to all of the gods creatures
Fuckign b
>>676850637
C
Then scream "Aha you fell for my trap card!!"
>>676850637
C
BURN THE HERETIC
B
>>676850637
C BURN HIM!
B against the samefagging faggot
C
All hail the b
C is a samefag do not count OP
>>676851654
B IS SAME FAG
>>676851745
We got another vote for B over here!
>>676851745
>>676851654
Everything is wolf job.
>>676851654
Fak you doolan
C
B is for bananas and delicious kobold rape
>>676851654
>>676851745
>>676851265
E IS SAMEFAG
B.
>>676851892
c
lets burn him up for being a jerk.
>>676850637
You feel something warm and firm press against your slit, and you realize if you don't do something fast you're going to lose your virginity, and probably the rest of your life to slavery. Fortunately, you're more dangerous than you look, and flexible.
You quickly curl to the side, just enough to touch one clawtip to the humans engorged sex organ, and turn it into harvest offering. To your surprise, the flames spread in a woosh, up his hairy shaft and onto his chest as he begins screaming in pain and horror. Hair burns extremely fast, who knew?
A: Get out of dodge.
B: Ambush his "companions." It sounds like they've done this to your people before. Plus hey, free stuff.
C: Get lost in the pyromania, and start lighting up trees whilst gloating.
D: Find a hiding spot and wait for things to blow over.
writein:
>>676851972
SHUT UP YOU FAGGOT!!
F IS SAMEFAG!
DIE IN AN OUBLIETTE
>>676851654
>>676851654
>>676851745
and here we go
this is what I was telling you to be careful about OP. Quick fap vs story vs sex fun under our control
>>676851972
>>676852094
C had the most votes by a lot when I checked anyway.
>>676852093
B
But spare the trees
>>676852093
Way to give in to the samefag OP
C
B
>>676852093
A book it m8s
>>676852093
B!
FOR FREEDOM
>>676852192
All from the same guy -_-
B
>>676850970
fuck I totally forgot. Will try and work it into the next post.
B
I'm done, the same 2 samefags are just fucking sitting here reposting over and over, OP you're a fag.
>>676852544
I'm not so sure, I think there are 5 or 6 different people posting over and over.
>>676852663
Quiet samefag
gulag for you
>>676852791
Nein. Gulag is for jews only you dirty kike.
>>676852979
You fucking pedo
>>676852979
Wow nice job fucking those kids
>>676852093
You dash into the forest to the west, shouting over your shoulder, "Burn, BURN FOR THE DWARVES OF BOATSMURDER!"
Huh, where'd you hear that anyway? Must have been a bedtime story.
Fortunately you have decent woodcraft, and manage to avoid leaving an obvious tail. Late that night when you stop to camp, you're fairly certain you haven't been followed by the human's companions.
Now you have to make a choice on which route to the elven woods to take, you could skirt the human region by going into the mountains, but you've heard tell of a particularly nasty sub race of goblins that live there, who have little regard for the lives of other races.
Or you can continue into the human controlled areas, they have many woodsmen and slavers, but at least you're familiar with that danger, and it will get you to the elven woods much quicker.
A: head towards the mountains, avoiding humans
B: Head into the human controlled territory.
writen:
>>676852093
Make new thread OP. Plz
>>676852979
You fucking pedo
B
>>676853267
A
fuck those skin walkers.
>>676852979
MODS M0DS MODS M0DS
>>676852985
Bitch please
>>676853267
B, at least humans have big dicks
>>676853267
B
maybe we can find a herm
>>676853267
Ayy
>>676853567
You think I'm afraid of super ultra mega death christ? I've been rolling with him sense 20000000 bc, We used to fuck dinosaurs together and then kill them, then when we ran out of them, we made humans, and killed the shit out of them and fucked their ladies.
Get out of here you fucking plebeian.
>>676853267
B
Maybe when we screw up it wont involve getting screwed by the most disgusting race alive.
Boring
B
>>676853267
B
>>676853875
"Plebe" bitch?
Better check your citizenship before I bust out the legions on your ass
>>676839053
>maybe ill roll for it on the down low
>>>/out/
bumpin
>>676854130
HOW DARE YOU! I AM CALIGULA! I AM A GOD! YOU WILL BOW TO ME! AND MY HORSE PRAETORIAN GUARD!
I AM JUPITER! I AM ROME!
>>676854558
new thread per request.
>>676854584
HOW DARE I? HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS ME IN SUCH FASHION! I WILL CONWUER YOU LIKE THE FILTHY GAUL YOU ARE!
LEGIONS! CRUCIFY HIM!
everyone in this thread has a neckbeard. you are all also loser gay people. your game is stupid and you waste your time with this. you all suck. go and get laid.
>>676855102
Sorry? cant hear you over how great my ass is.
>>676855102
Hey, is that a chip on your shoulder? I love me some chips
>>676848546
>>676855102
i poke kobold in the ear
>>676853267
A
leave while you still can
>>676856089
