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Waifu claiming thread!
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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Thread replies: 162
Thread images: 151
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Waifu claiming thread!

>Claim your Waifu/Husbando
>No Claiming Waifus/Husbandos that have already been claimed
>No stealing (unless trips or more)
>Oversexualised content is encouraged
>No RP/ERP of any kind (maybe some on occasion)
>Discussion is welcomed
>Insults must be original
>If you're posting images you're not lurking
>3D is almost always trash
>Joining means a reserved place in hell
>This is /waifu/ not /b/
>Most importantly, Feminine penises are still penises. You are still gay if you jerk off to them
>well fuck

Chara claimed
Hello friends
>no life
>Juvia claimed
How can someone be this disconnected from real life
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Just claiming.
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Well you'd be level 1 so I think the matching system will be okay-ish
You'd have a very high ping though
I'd be extremely surprised if you had my steam account
Id actually be so surprised that i wouldn't even be mad
>Having my real name and stuff
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still here
Its all in my meal plan.
Tea and breads a great breakfast, Ive done it many a time

Oh, Im just throwing what Im listening to at you

Well, I mean technically not gay for me but...whatever

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Dont ya ever sleep?
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it would probably try to slay me and my ping is like 100 or so because riot moved the servers from somewhere around here to chicago. i can give you mine if you like?
was about to go in maybe half an hour or so. why?
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Fair enough.
Im just throwing whatever at you.

Figured why not. Throwing my steam at you all as well.
>not picking best anime boy
guess yall got shit taste
roses are red
violets are blue
i knock on the door
it's me goku
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I dont mean to sound intrusive and you dont have to answer if you dont feel comfortable
but are you American?
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Tristana claimed
I had 2 dream scenes in my sleep. Fuck man it was weird
What was your dream like tonight?
I just realized how weirdly structured this playlist is

...i am
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yes i live in california
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Ever have issues with sleep, drifting off, staying asleep and all that ?
Damn you and your lack of a picture me!
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please see

Also do you enjoy it?
There's alot of californians where I come from too
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It's more like lunch for me
But it's the first thing I ate today
My meal plan is fucked tbh
Oh damn, that's pretty rough. How do you even play
>My ping is 20
Yea sure I'd add you but only add since I don't have a PC
Sup trist
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Make me not want to play WoW
Me? HA, Ha, ha, huh.
Yes, yes I do. Mostly the caffeines fault though.
I pump at a 125 all day cause of that

My b

Believe it or not burgerlands got really decent meal plans
I tend to shuffle EVERYTHING.
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Not a huge caffeine fanatic myself but I can understand needing a boost to get through the day
what'ss your poison
coffee, soda? caffeine pills?
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i prefer to go when im tired so i dont lay in bed for hours just trying to sleep. no its too hot here for me. i do like the winters because it gets nice and cool.
i just do. and i am envious.
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Spotted the radioactive one
>that terrible taste black comedy pun
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That's pretty relatable
I stuck with that for a while and my sleep schedule just kept getting slowly slowly pushed back later
nowadays I usually like to go to bed at about 8-10 a.m and wake up around 4 p.m for work
Happy with your schedule? Havent been around here for so long but I have always seen you on the nocturnal schedule when i do
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No pressure, no one here actually cares with what person you sleep with.

As long as you have fun, it's alright.
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Common misconception, radiotherapy doesn't actually make you radioactive.

It does make you feel very nauseous during the mornings though
Yea that's a hard pill to swallow
I believe it's probably just me and my break
My hunger usually comes around at 5 pm and then I start binge eating
Sorry man
I'll add you real quick
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its not really a big deal. i usually sleep for about 4 or 5 hours. yeah im around here pretty frequently.
thats ok i blame riot. good.
I can still make that joke dammit.
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Your dreams are ones I'd be rather interested in
Dream much?
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Sure, can I call you butthurt then?
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nope. if i do i dont remember them. i did have one about half a week ago but before that i cant tell you when.
Shuffling sounds terrifying
I really dont wanna go from modest mouse, gorillaz, and weezer into billy ocean, aaron carter, and justim timberlake

Down with feeding the fish a carrot?

ALL, breakfast was half a can of mountain dew and a large dark roast

Ouch, but I get it.
I do that when time schedules are tight, not eat all day and have one big meal at the end
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Go for gold
Scene One
A decrepit, old, abandoned mansion. I was with a group of officers and we're sent to investigate some cases of missing kids. It was so messed up because it was usually kids from streets, orphans, and kids who weren't paid much attention to in CPS because they had no families. I figure it was some serial rapist of some sort.
I figure I wanted to kill the fucker, but chances are this inhuman person might be doing an underground child trafficking since child prostitution went up in my country (I don't know, maybe still in USA. 2020)
Anyways we enter the establishment, and the hallways were immaculate. The floors were rid of the mossy filth that riddled the outside of the immense house
>cont in one sec
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as you can see
im quite the steam noob
wasted too much time on league
so what are you up to
>besides stalking me
isnt your schedule tight right now?
with shool and all?
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that's not so good to hear
Il love dreaming so much
but its kinda rare here too
maybe every 3 or 4 days a dream comes by

haha I cant imagine what'ss for lunch
I got into killing a pot of coffee every morning for a while but i just started feeling sick after a few weeks so i quit
I tend to go from
On a regular basis
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I actually just cooked something, but no carrots in there
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thats ok. tons of games you never played. nothing really thinking of going to bed. like i wouldnt stalk you
i dont like it. they always weird me out. 3 to 4 days isnt rare in my opinion.
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Honestly, I can dig that transition
Huh, these two soundly oddly familiar

Oh, Ill make time.
I kinda make my own schedule here. I have fairly large breaks

More coffee is for lunch, honestly I hate soda in general.
Its a really good kickstart
I get very dependent after a while
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ITT: weeaboos who have never seen a naked woman.
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Mine usually happen in episodes
one will happen that leads into another
or sometimes they repeat and are slightly different

what got you into enjoying caffeine so much?
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yea i bought a lot during summer sales
wait i remember now, i think i bought around 20 random steam keys
all shit games kek. never gonna play them anyway
>says he doesnt stalk me
>knows immedeatly i have tons of unplayed games
close but no cigar
oh thats pretty sweet. also its probably better for you. strict schedules are like a prison
high school was hell for me
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>somebody ordered eggrolls?
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odd. mine are almost always different. i did have one dream that repeated multiple times and it was horrible. i do miss falling dreams though
those 2 screenshots. 420 health and a cabinet in Amnesia. and you did friend me. of course ill cyber stalk you a little
Aww...whatcha cook?

I see one every morning

Need, mostly
I started working and realized that although I am extremely accurate, but horribly slow.
Needed a bit of pep in my step and it was either this or speed so...


Exactly! It helps
And I may as well drop this here.

Well Overwatch is unplayable now. what's going on in here?
Lets go back to one you may have heard
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oh my you liked those?
That feeling is so terrifying

Enjoy your job?
would ya rather be doing something else?
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heh yea, the broom stuck in there was funny to me
i was only joking i dont really care, you do have acces to my full name not sure what you will do with that
when does class start for you today?
wew rory, thats a lot of time in mwo
and fallout
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wew wew
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hey Yui
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i miss them from when i was a kid. they always filled me with so much energy.
nothing just find out where you live and show up at your doorstep in a month
Ive fallen asleep in Fallout 4 a few times. MWO takes a fair bit if time.

>whoever is in nsw wew wew lad
>canberran what up
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Hello there Satsuki, jjust waking up?
how are you geting along today?
Yes, quite. I really dig this one
And let me throw one at you
And one you might notve heard

Mcdonalds grill?
Im in line to do accounting, I would happilly drop it for something more calm

1245, gives me time to do some clerical stuff
It is 830
I've played skyrim religiously for years and you manage to have twice my time in a newer game. How much spare time do you get?
never forget
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and my waifu is ryuko, not satsuki!
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kek you think i mind that?
i would like to see you try, actually im daring you to come
kek that explains 200 hours
if its the only game you play i can understand it
i probably spend around that time in league, it'd be fun to find out tbh
wow you are up really early
why though, you can sleep in?
you weird mang
Also forgot to mention my suspicion that the child trafficking may be corrupted internal affairs within our system and police forces. As soon as one of my friends found mutilated remains of a child in one of the rooms of the long hallway, a gunshot was heard. I took out my gun, fuck if it's a cartel of some sorts, we were not prepared. I called in to my friend, hoping it wasn't him who received his last day on the job, to later have the feed cut off. I checked on a camera I placed on our vehicles and there it was. One of the officers, slashing our tires.
More gunshots are heard, and I can guess it's from my group of people I trust along with another group that's been assigned to us by the force.
How far have we fallen to messing with kid's lives. I was in one of the desolate rooms that, fortunately, had a secret stairwell located underneath the bed.
I planted flashes on my room (forgot to mention I took the farthest room out of all, to make sure I had an escape) and rushed into the well. (Well also didn't have a trapdoor, I could feel some air coming from there, it was weird enough for me to check it out)
I hurry there, but gun at ready since I know I might be meeting those corrupt bastards on the other ends of this undisclosed entrance.
The stairwell led to a long dark hallway. The path was very narrow, as to only have space for one person to walk in. The area was bone shivering cold. This is probably something bigger than I could handle. I hear the distant flashes I set up from the room, my time is short since it's briefly followed by hurried footsteps. At the meantime the tight hallway finally extends into what appears to be the lobby area, but then it hit me. The look of the place is the same as the indoor set of the mansion
Fallout 4 is overrated
People seem to forget that Bethesda is shit at making games
The area was foggy, but I continued running deeper into the fray, away from those wicked men. I figure I might as well go out with a bang since I didn't meet any officers from what I assume was going to be other entrances, meaning I was prolonging the inevitable. I perched myself in one of the rooms nearby the only hallway the led to this secret level. The footsteps are marching towards my location, until I hear another set of steps, running fast with words that scared the hell out of me.
"Lieutenant, our entrance has been sealed, it has to be military. What do we do?"
Afterwards, the officer yelled out that they're done trying to chase and that we're all fucked. I come out, expecting to be shot, only to receive information from the crooks that what they had in store for me is nothing compared to what's going to happen. I ask and to my fear, the answer is
"That hallway is narrow for a reason. This place is a feeding grounds for our science division to study. The four eyes run experiments for security defense weapons. They manufacture bio weapons for national deterrence, but our guys sell them on the inside too. The creatures here coalesce with each other and trust me, I know you want us dead, but our only path is gone, so we have to go through the other"
I had my gun off safety, to only later return it to its holster.
"I'd have it up if I were you, we don't know how efficient they are. Our guys are operatives in the force and had to get them to believe we were on their side. What I have is a feed, this will give out information to our guys so they can alert the others.
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ok i guess i should round up some money. good start would be to get to the netherlands first. Im going to bed for now. night
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kek, see you later then, im waiting
sleep well!
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Baked Pasta with vegetables

Oh. Now I'm finally at the part of the cartoon where they made the Chara song parody

I have to say, the fanmade version is better sung than the original one. But the original one is funnier
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my my we havea mcdonalds in my town
a few of my friends have worked there and none have much good to say about it
Accounting sounds like a much more satisfying job

that's a mistake iI won't make twice I can promise that!
It ends with a mix of resident evil coupled with aliens. I like to describe my dreams as best as I can in the moment so I can recall it later. It helped with a lot of dreams I had

Eyyo Yuno
What's for breakfast?
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if only it could have been more like new vegas

I want to see this in the cinny on some film
Aww shit, its a psychobilly freakout!

Early? I was up at 530
Honestly, I love to be prepped for every minute to be full of business

I kinda liked it. But wudooino

Sounds good Mac

Eh, I like it, its just much more fast paced than what I want out of life
U pathetic retards can go fuck urself with your waifu cancer
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Good Morning my pretty.
I had a spoopy dream too.
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I can only imagine
i hear it get ssuper busy and I live in a very small town
for something larger i bet it would be nearly impossible
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Because this needs to be done
And because I am just mean sometimes
And just for the awesomeness
Not enough. MWO is more 15 minute games. Short explosive action. Easier to waste a day.
I play League and WoW as well. Splitting time between them.
Squidward claimed.
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It was a nice Showdown.

Are you by chance drunk?
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I had two, but chose to attempt to write this one out since I felt it was the better one.
What was yours?
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if by breakfast you mean lunch
i just ate a chicken sandwich and had some tea with it
right now im chewing on some metroid puzzles
what are you up to?
yea i meant that
you are here for some time now and its just 830
do you even sleep?
oh right, you game a lot man
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It's hard to remember clearly.

I do remember being in a cave. There was some kind of creature there. Also some hot bitch. She ends up getting knocked out. We have guns and shit and theres something off in the distance. I start to make out a figure that kinda looks like an alien but with huge teeth. I start shooting at it. Nothing happens. Keep shooting It keeps getting closer and closer . Then i wake up.
I thought i gamed religiously. But spending entire days in 15 minute games? jesus
nice trips
Its just like any job.
If youve got a good team behind you, itll work.
If no one wants to be there, youll have a bad time.
I may prefer somewhere else, but there are worse places

Not gonna lie, Ricky Martin can do no wrong in my eyes.


No...lotsa caffeine. I wont touch the sauce til afternonn.
Lets me know Ive still got SOME restraint

Sleep is for the weak.
Im perfectly fine with the least amount of sleep as possible
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Yo Jenny, how are you?

Huh, you can do it, I believe in you. Restrain yourself.
But it is pretty early over there, right? 7 am or so. Any plans for today?
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well still any job is better than no job at all!
Have any hobbies? : )
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hey there Haikus
In the process of waking up, still in bed, and to prepare an oatmeal. My cat, like fire pooch, is right by my side, knocked out and doing some sleeps

Aww man those dreams suck. I never get them at the most convenient times; just happens around 3-5 am.
At least it wasn't irl our you'd be donesos
Tired, and chilling in bed. might go to sleep in a bit. Been up to anything lately?
Almost 9.
Class, homework, goodwill

Drinkin and vidya.
Oh and Im in a fight club, only chick
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Fighting, now that;s a good one right there
What kind of Martial Arts do you study?
My father is a trainer of BJJ at a gym up in Cedar Rapids so it's always a fun time getting to spar and roll with him
Not like I have any chance haha but he lets me win sometimes

What got you into that fighting stuff?
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Nice! What do you know so far? I usually commute to an mma place that's 20 min from here, but my schedule this year may be tight and I took a break in the summer.
I'm a white belt btw still new at this
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Nope, nothing. Yesterday was the entrance exam for university but that's it.

Have fun and good luck my man
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Goku you need to leave I'm calling the police.

Irl I would of fucked that thing up in CQC mode.
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sorry hun I thought you might be someone else
how is your day going taiga?
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Matial arts? Na. No real formal training
This guy I was with came home with a fucked up nose and I got all defensive.
A bunch of dudes go into this abandoned building in town and beat the shit out of eachother.
Im not the prettiest little thing in the world, so I compensated by working out.
It helped I guess, they told me only fighters could stay.
They paired me with the scrawny fucks.
Not hard
That sounds fun though

You too my dude
that image disturbs me yet turns me on to an endless extent
How'd you do?
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That real criminal underworld shit huh
be careful to keep your guard up that doesn't sound like much fun to be of on the receiving end of haha
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I'll know in about two weeks. It was a multiple choice test and I answered all the questions to the best of my ability. I probably passed it seeing as I only need 30% of it to be right and the exam was split in two parts. One was about the book I should've read to prepare for the exam, the other part were about Sequences, matrices and other logical stuff.
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Fiction can be fun.
Not saying this out of paranoia, but I suggest you should start, once your comfortable, to spare with those bigger than you. I have a friend who's tall as heck and he teaches me a valuable lesson of keeping distance. A very valuable lesson
Your story sounds blatantly fictional though, sorry.

If it works, it works. I wonder what she does to get him to ult.

CQCBTFO alien scum

Crab rengoon, morning
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Eh, its alright.
They dont take it too seriously.
They dont pair hulks with spideys.
They have a no face ruru too, boyfriend got hit 'by accident'
The guy who did it cant fight anymore
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Pretty good.

Woke up late, did some uni shit and played runescape and nuclear throne.

How about you?
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bit tired tonight
but I guess I'm just not feeling so sleepy if that makes much sense
Just kinda laying round til Ican get tired enough for bed
Enjoying me some music and a nice morning bowl
Enjoy university so far? I couldn;'t imagine how stressful it's gotta be
Oh no no no.
I dont actually fight anymore.
It was only a couple times, I mostly just watch.
Its kinda neat to see an actual fight

Why would I lie to an annonymous messaging board?
i thought those things were like 50% passing required. But yeah nah, you most likely passed.
Probably goes deeper :^)
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I'm guessing we're short on teachers, this is why they made it that easy to pass.
The Psychology exam needs 60% to pass and only the best 500 pass.
>mfw I'm still gonna study Psychology as part of my teaching job
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I call it uni because that's easier than trying to explain creative media institute. It's a pretty chill 7 month deal. Very little maybe no stress.
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That sounds amazing
What are you interested in pursuing in the future?
So you're a teacher? or trying to become one?
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The later one. Well for now I'm just awaiting the resulsts of the test.
Morning Tristy, how are you?

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DJ + producer would be nice, but I'll take entirely technical jobs if offered. Not fussed if I'm in any job revolving around music.

Or just make coffee for hipsters forever... If someone would hire me. Currently trying my hardest to grow a beard with little success.
So you're going to be this in real life?
No longer fight because of schedule, age, interest, money?
As long as you enjoyed it

Fuck me for being curious

Nice Chara!
What kind of teacher you think you'll be
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What sort of music are you into? I gotta say I'm a bit jealous of that career path :p I wish you the best of luck with it, that sounds like one of the most fun jobs I coud think of
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Heh i've been both a DJ and a Barista. My best friend is a DJ/Producer he's signed to a major label in Europe. He makes good money but your chances of making it in that aspect of the bizz are slim.

I worked at a strip club as a DJ from age 18 to 22.

*got the job because the original dj quit and my friends dad owned the place and she told him i could run a mixer board*
About to get off this bed to start the day off. I had two supposed nightmares back to back. "Supposed" because I suffered in it, but it was very cool
Oh no, I just dont want to.
There was no gambling there.
Accidents happen and I just dont want them to happen to me
I did it, I can watch now
oh well, hope everything goes well.
Curiosity killed the cat.

I need to go to bed. I barely got enough sleep last night. Goodnight y'all.
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sleep well Xj9
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Eh, genre isn't my favourite concept, I honestly want to make whatever I want, because someone else will decide what genre it is. I also want to experiment with different genres, house, glitch hop, 'future bass' (worst genre name). But I would also love to work with an artist like Bon Iver, and take influences from Bonobo, for example.

I can dream.
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I have no idea. We'll see

Thanks, I hope so too
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Yeah, but I can dream. I have the technical side down and I'm improving, I just have to work on motivating myself. And I'm shit at that.

DJing always sounds fun, did you enjoy it?
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aw jeez you just won me over pretty quick

What fantastic taste

I like you quite a bit
is there a name you go by?

I've been caught up recently listening to a whole bunch of XXYYXX and Clams Casino I'm so fascinated with that thick synthy atmospheric sound
Keep us posted. Heck you should write something subtle on the board for us, when you get the chance

Sounds fine. I never been to a fight club
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I did. I was always looking for new remixes of shit no one has heard. I knew i was good when people would come up to me and be like "I come here for the music dude" and tip me instead of dancers.

So yes the DJ part was fun. The dealing with Psycho Strippers everyday and having that be part of your job was not fun.

But sometimes it was.

I'll tell you right now. The most important thing you can do for a career in DJ/Producing is create CONNECTIONS with people in the industry. Carry speakers, hand out flyers help help help. It's mostly word of mouth at first.

I'm also not telling you to dream. Dream big!
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The exam was yesterday. I'm only starting uni, so no actual "in classroom" posting
sorry for butting in
How many years are you going for?
That sounds like a pretty difficult rooad but well worth int in the end
What inspired you to take that path?
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A producer name? I have ideas. I haven't uploaded any of my work, considering I have only 1 finished production that I'm only semi proud of.

I made my own xxyyxx synth from scratch, it was a fun excercise. About you backwards is fucking amazing, if you haven't heard it yet, do it.

Yeah, my first purchase in terms of professionalism apart from my godly headphones is a new phone.

Also, that's fucking hilarious, you getting tipped instead of the stripper. That's such a giggle.

Hopefully you're doing what you want?
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It's going to be about 3 or 4 years.
What inspired me? Nothing really. I like talking and I'm good at presentation stuff. And I like teaching my little brother
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if you're evrer looking to share I'd sure enjoy hearing
but no I mean a thread name silly
I go by Bard pleased to meet ya

And yeah! I've definately heard that, it's so chilled out
I also really enjoy alone backwards too!
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I became a chef instead.

But my best friend is this guy and he's made it. this is len faki playing one of the tracks he produced.
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Hi syndra!
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Hey, I've heard that name before. Hey Bard. Taiga's fine. I think.

Chef work can be hard. Any good as a profession?

It seriously rocks the crowd. Also I heard at uni that hardstyles coming back into fashion, is this true?
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Being a chef is possibly the most stressful shit ever. But its also very rewarding.

I like it cuz it was the first job that i didnt actively watch the clock.

Also you free to be artistic.

But people are dicks just like anything.
what are you up to?
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Are you into any instruments or just production?
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I was making myself dinner.
Now i think im just going to go play some Warthunder or Fallout, not sure yet.
What about you?
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I learnt sheet on cello, but I don't own one. I mess around on piano a bit though. Waiting for morning coffee to pour and toast to pop while playing a random chord progression is very enjoyable.
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Just had breakfast and some coffee.

Going over my DND character i created last night in our dnd discord channel. We're starting a game soon.

Took like 3 fucking hours last night. I was ready to blow my brains out. Thank god for Fran and his never ending patience.
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You're my favorite
That sounds like a loveley way to pass some time
Cello is one of the most beautiful instruments, and pianio probably one of the tops as well
are you self taught or were you schooled?
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Here with the late claim
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Played DND once, did not really get the hang of it.
What's your character like?
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I got taught cello, but the theory and the musicality just follows on from that, and basic piano concepts were no different. I can only play one piece to completion though.
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