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/b/ i need your help
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/b/ i need your help
i have a gf for like 2 months and everytime we met i opress my farts.
have you guys some tips for me?
>>
>>684099219
Yeah, still oppressing, girls don't see farts as something sexy or funny.
>>
Let Go, Let God.
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>>684099219
Fart
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>>684099219
tongue her asshole and let em flow

first release is always the hard one
get over those firsts, combo them up

or do something manly like work all day or some shit and when ur covered in shit at the end of the day with ur gut hanging out a cig in ur mouth beer cracked sit on the back patio with her, quiet, birds humming, then let er rip. fuck the world (y) burn it
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>>684099219
If you start farting in front of her, she'll do it too.

Trust me..
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>>684099378
im too shy for farting im afraid of her reaction
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yeah keep holding it in, my last gf of two years broke up with me a couple of days after I farted forgetting she was in the room
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I've had the same problem as you, but it's quite easy. Joke around about farting, see what are her thoughts about them. If she finds them disgusting, keep holding them. If not, let one go.
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pick her up under the arm pits lift up her cunt to ur mouth tongue her asshole than overhead throw her into the sun
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A pro tip is to get all ready for bed, get in, get her comfy. Girls don't leave beds once in for the night right. "Oh I forgot something, be right back". Get out of the room, far end of the house, garden if you have to. Squat like a mother fucker and get what you can out. Return with flowers.
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>>684099613
alternatively there is the dutch oven route, a favourite at parties & gatherings
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>>684099613
Yeah this. I run out to the living room spread my cheeks and do a silent waft fart into the sofa cushions
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Try the N.I.L.E.S method, worked wonders for me
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>>684099859
>N.I.L.E.S
whats that?
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>>684099788
Jesus christ my fucking sides.
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>>684099219
Dude don't listen to these fucks. Keep it classy, girls remember everything, Even if you break up and its not bad, she will tell her friends, some of whom may be hot, that you were a 'nice guy' even though it didn't work out. Also keep your swearing at her level -1 notch.
>>
> Serve her a gas breeding food
> wait
> tickle her till she farts
> fap
> profit
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If dubs, give me your gf
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>>684100274
no gf for u
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>>684099788
This reminds of a sofa cushions fart story.

>be me 2 yrs ago sharing an apartment with a friend
>eating sandwich on the couch watching tv with a pillow on my lap to sit the plate on
>bust ass with such prize-winning ferocity it kinda startles me
>mins later roomie and his 8/10 asian gf come in and sit on sofa to watch tv with me
>she grabs my fart pillow and resta chin on it
>makes the most hilarious disgusted face and gags a bit while putting the pillow down
>she looks at my roomie and says "wow anon, you pillows smell like fucking shit"
>i run out of the apartment laughing my ass off
>dont stop running for quite a few blocks still laughing
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>>684100525
my sides
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>>684100525
Keked i pictured disgrunted asianfartface
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>>684100525
10/10
>>
>>684099406
true
Thread replies: 25
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