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Waifu Claiming thread >Shitpost the Phoenix Thread edition

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 172
Thread images: 151
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Waifu Claiming thread
>Shitpost the Phoenix Thread edition

The rules are simple:
>Claim your waifu/husbando. One claim per anon.
>No shipping
>Keep RP and ERP to a minimum. No lewd.
>Don't be gay
>We know you masturbate. Stop talking about it.
>No posts with focal point on sexual objects or speech(This includes pictures)
>No birds
>Insult other waifu
>Pretend to be normal and discuss stuff
Most important: You're waifu a shit
>>
Miho claimed

>>683364001
Good better not.
>>
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>>683364059
kagami claimed!!
>>
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>>683364059
no u
>>
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>>683364059
>don't be gay
I suck dicks irl
>we know you masturbate stop talking about
Probably gonna jerk the gerkin REAL GOOD after the bf goes to bed tonight.

oh and
>>
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>Shizuru get
>>
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these rules are pretty good
>>
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Akiko claimed

>>683362964
>Dio is the most hated
I actually like Dio

>>683363244
Sure, I dislike my current one anyway

>>683363353
here's hoping. Though I noticed my wanking has declined ever since I came to /waifu/

>>683363448
I can never tell if you use those emoticons ironically or not?
>>
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>>683363628
We both need to sleep but we wont go to sleep before the other. So yeah get over here.
>>
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Best girlie claimed!
>playing dark souls
>>
>>683364085
For you~
>>
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Claimed. (The one on the left.)
>>
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>>683364196
updated version, I entered in correct code. (circled)
>>
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Rikka claimed!
>>
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>>
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>>683364252
That's some autistic shit dude

>>683364350
I like dio too. I'm saying that he's the most hated in thread. Of course hell have some lovers for sure

>>683364481
I've never seen this episode before
>>
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>>683363651
Fukken saved
>>
>>683364463
Also, Shiro claimed!
>>
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claimed
>>
>>683364425
Hello
>>
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>>683364001
Can't be that hard, oh wait it's finals :^)

>>683364463
Ayy you midwest?

>Best idol claimed
>>
>>683364463
try this

Z099MOUSEPADPGW74

if it fails
go back you might have done something wrong
>>
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Claimed.
>>
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>>683364350
Same here, never wanked since I came to /waifu/~
>>683363908
Why must you always introduce me to great songs?~
>Thank you!
>>
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>>683364059
Pin claim
I pin pictures of Pin on my wall IRL
>>
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>>683364350
Dio is the best,
Rory is just jealous that we aren't shit

>>683364425
>She's a kid
>she's a squid
https://youtu.be/mZjS6YMb7C4

>>683364907
Hi great void eye
>>
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>>683364660
Its in S2 so it isnt that important frenemy
>>
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>>>683363349
guess I could try again
>>
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Obligatory claim.

>>683364355
Well shit, sounds like a plan, big guy.
>>
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jessie
>>
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>>683362964
If it's for pizza and wine, I would not mind being crowned. Oh, you're in school? What kind? I'm sorry finals aren't going well. Do your best! I'll root for you from my throne.

The entire thread went by in the time it took me to send this.
>>
>>683365072
>Pin
Sir, you have won /waifu/ how does it feel?
>>
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>>683364059
>Shizuru
>>
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>>683364952
So you like glasses?

>>683365074
I don't know who you are referring to. I am definitely not Vel'koz
>>
>>683365231
YASS
>>
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I'll be around.
>>683364389
Oh, you. Are you trying to give me high blood sugar?
>Always glad to see you cinnabun
>>
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>>683365231
Not sure about claiming with that picture, but welcome.
>>
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>>683364957
it's no problem!! anytime megumin...
>>
>>683365433
I'll save that
>>
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>>683364660
>autistic
I'll have you know i graduated top of my tankery class. I have over 300 confirmed hits.
>>
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>>683365074
YOURE A KID YOURE A SQUID
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y90bDDLO094

>>683364350
That's good and bad
I use these unironically sometimes and ironically the other times
>>
>>683365072
got any pics?
>>
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this cuntbag when shes made pregnant by 30 men in the animation
>>
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>>683364774
Replied with that pic....Nice! And Hola!
>>683364952
Ayy comrade! Good to see ya!
>>
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>>683365570
Kek'd.
>>
>>
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>>683364880
>Z099MOUSEPADPGW74
Thanks anon, this code worked!
>>683364826
Nebraska representing!
>>
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>>683365438
>what's not to like?
>>
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>>683365642
No
>>
>>683365166
neet?

>>683365532
You as well. It's a shame we don't really do much irl to talk about.

>>683364774
this reminds me i found an unofficial dakimakura of yuuko
>>
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>>683365583
Seriously, why do love all the songs you showed me? It's weird lol
>>
>>683364350
>>>683364349
>>
>>683365800
my pleasure fellow waifu poster
>>
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>>683365174
Good.
>>
>>683365860
oh come on man.
>>
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>>683365874
yaa
>>
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>>683365700
Hehe. Hows was your day?
>>
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Milinda claim
I'm back

>>683365811
I like Mirai. ;)
>>
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i'd sniff this cunts chocolate scented farts and let her force feed me her asshole through my nostrils
>>
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>>683364059
>no birds
Fuck you
>>
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>>683366001
You've been fairly feisty these past few nights I've noticed.
>>
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>>683366055
No
>>
>>683365874
Link it.
>>
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>>683365880
hmmmm it might be another thing you love!!....but im just saying kek
>>
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>>683364660
How can you not love Dio?

>>683364957
I wouldn't say 'never' but maybe twice since I arrived

>>683365438
kek, I just carried as Vek'koz
He's crazy strong now, went 32/4

>>683365640
I guess we'll never know

>>683365655
>dubs confirm anon is cuck

>>683365882
wut? Nice to know I've become cross-thread poplar. Feels weird but not bad actually
>>
>>683366150
Whats she from anon?
>>
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>>683365438
oh, I must be mistaken then, sorry for the inconvenience

>>683365640
YOU'RE A KID
YOU'RE A SQUID
https://youtu.be/HibMVOBoMsw
>>
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>>683365874
Aye, I just work, play vidya, and die on the inside a little more until August
>You know the drill by know
I'm off the next two days though, so I don't know what to do with myself as usual. What about you?
>>
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>>683365800
Nice! Illinois reporting in.

>>683366132
Welcome back Milinda.
>>
>>683366322
>dubs confirmed you're also a cuck
it's from the anime "Big Order" she's the Rock God Order.
>>
>>683366076
Joyful as always.
Going well sweety?

>>683366220
there's also mio
http://imgur.com/og66WZu
>>
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>>683365583
>Shizuru
>>
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>>683365811
That's a question without an answer. Some nice glasses can be a real finisher on a good face

>>683366314
I expect no less
>>
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>>683364826
Staaahp

>>683364952
Mirai

>>683365110
It is?! I honestly whatched both seasons and never seen the wedding get up

>>683365335
I'm in community because poor atm for surgical technician and thanks eureka anon. This is what happens when you don't keep up with threads lol

>>683365610
Please don't bully the smug

>>683366314
Ask Galky
>>
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I fell asleep...
>>
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>>683366222
Trips dubs dubs confirms it?~
>>683366314
Magic of /waifu/
>>
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>>683364059
>no shipping
>dont have a ship anyway

Rory claimed
>>
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>>683366346
I don't think I've seen that one before ',:^)

>>683366314
The world may never know
>>
>>683366415
>>683366132
>>683365811
>>
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>>683366523
I guess
Its almost time for bed and I feel like I just woke up
I should be an owl
>>
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>>683366527
>purple beard
absolutely why???? lol
>>
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>>683366665
SO. FUCKING. CLOSE
>>683366681
Rory, you play MWO right?
>>
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>>683366663
It's fine. Welcome back

>>683366681
You will
>>
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>>683364059
Curie claimed. I am going to talk about masterbation more just because you asked me not too
>>
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>>683366665
>off by one

>>683366681
>
>>
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>>683366523
Nice. I still want one of mine.
>>
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>>683366681
Who needs those kinds of ships. They're weak and rarely ever work properly.

Only kind of ship I'll ever need, I recommend following suit.

>hand
>>
QOTT: whats the longest you've went without fapping?

3 weeks
>>
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>>683365700
>Check'd
Hey Sanae. How was the weekend? Feel anything the morning after?

>>683366132
>smooth
Damn. Ahem, how are you, Mili?

>>683366595
Mirai here. 'Sup?
>>
>>683366595
Yeah haha go back and watch it!
>>
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>>683366401
Well i've been shitposting a lot more often lately.
Here, work, some summer classes soon. Aside from some random daily chores i don't do squat.

>>683366742
Got work tomorrow?
>>
>>683366096
Easy, didn't go out today. Now here drawings and drinking some berry juice. You?
>>
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>>683366665
i'd say so~ but we didn't need those to confirm it <3
>>
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>>683367029
1 day
>>
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>>683366820
? What color -should- it be? I was just matching her hair color.
>>
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>>683366871
Thank you Shinoa.

>>683367029
4 months.
>>
>>683367029
12 years

>yuuko
>>
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>>683367029
A day

>>683367177
OH SHIT WHADDUP
>>
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>>683367195
im just saying it looks weird lol, it matches at least...
>>
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>>683367134
yes and rain too
>>
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Vidya waifu from Fire Emblem Awakening
>>
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>>683366663
Hey, welcome back

>>683366665
>off by one
So how's that noose tying class going for ya?

>>683366717
The lack of eyebrows in that pic always bothers me

>>683367029
If we're not counting the years I didn't know what fapping was I'd say a good month maybe? I'm not sure. Does sex count?
>>
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>>683367029
I'm currently at my 3rd week, planning on more than 2 months~
>>683367169
<3
>>
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>>683366595
Bullying. Not yet
>>
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>>683366205
I guess I'm becoming more comfortable in these threads, don't feel the need to be all fancy or never be lewd.
>>
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>>683367429
>So how's that noose tying class going for ya?
Pretty bad... Noose-kun hates me and doesn't want to even look at me
>>
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>>683367306
I'm not proud
>>
>>683367429
I'll b ur daddy bby <3
>>
>>683364252
is your waifu a trap?
>>
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>>683367383
>Tiki
>not even Tharja
What are you? Gay?

>>683367429
She's melting because Yui ate them ;(

>>683367625
Why not
>>
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>>683367429
Hello again.
>>
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>>683367352
i enjoy the rain.
Makes people go away.

>>683367557
One day you'll get comfortable enough for the feels. i know it.

>>683367777
FUCK
>>
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>>683367165
Sat around too and shaved my head.
>>
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>>683367029
i'd say basic training which was 3 months, but i went without it in highschool for 5 or 6
>dark dark times....
>>
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>>683366850
I do.
>Urbie hype
>pic unrelated to urbie, me in a raven 3l, second time Ive broke 1k damage
>>683366871
Soon enough.
>>683366945
I enjoy some other forms of ships too.
>>
>>683367777
>Entering with quads
Nice

>Mugi
>>
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>>683367763
its a curse and my kidneys hurt

>>683367832
that is the best part
>>
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>>683366595
Kek you'll do just fine.

>>683366663
Welcome back m8.

>>683367029
Like 2 months.
>>
>>683367029
Two years.
>>683367122
It was great! I didn't feel anything, Am I? How are you?
>>
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>>
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>>683367832
I got enough feels already.
>>
>>683368109
You're waifu is fucking dead.
>>
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>>683367872
Raven-3L with some ER large lasers is my fav <3, you must probably know TheB33F then? His vids are what gave me the motivation to play the game
>>
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>>683367557
Well that's good, I've recently gotten more comfortable with the threads myself.

>or never be lewd
Well hey hey hey, glad I can semi-experience that first hand.

>>683367872
Very nice.
>>
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Okay so according to properties this was edited 3 days ago so I guess my last time was 3 days ago

>Akiko
>>
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>>683367832
>>683367906
>>683368038
Now I have to go. Bye!
>>
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>>683366681
>nobody wants to be shipped with you

>>683366880
who gives companions miniguns?
they'll run out of ammo in seconds because of stormtrooper accuracy

>>683367029
like 15 years
>rework the question

>>683368109
I always liked her abilities
>>
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>>683367122
Doing homework and coming to thread. You?

>>683367130
I will

>>683367429
No it doesn't

>>683367478
>scared

>>683367777
Wew

>>683368038
I think I'm freaking out for no reason tbh

>>683368109
HI welcome back. You new?
>>
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>>683366415
Thanks my favorite idol ;)

>>683366731
Im watching you

>>683367122
Hehe just a little tipsy... You?
>>
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>>683368018
I feel like a huge faggot saying this but I miss you in these threads

I can't help you with the curse ;^(
But as for the kidneys all I can think of is drink a lot of water and nothing but water for a while
>>
>>683367763
I'd rather have my daughteru not have a crazy abusive yandere mother
>>
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>>683368404
>

>>683367478
>No bully
>>
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>>683368327
Wish I can rewrite what I said
>>
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Going to bed baibai
>>
>>683367763
I had MU marry Nah. Morgan has a unit score of 300+. Dont have exact numbers, at work rn.
>>683367029
16 years
>fufufufufufu
>>683368378
>they too intimidated
>you have to turn to other fandoms to be good
>>
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>>683368070
>Am i
?
I'm fine. Back to drinking after a long, unproductive weekend.
>>
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Shiragami claimed.
Long day, but it ain't over yet.
Winners gotta power through.
>>
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>>683368283
Take responsibility.
>>
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>>683368626
Goodnight, sleep warm and well.
>>
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>>683368611
>>
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>>683368626
Me too Pin
Goodnight

>going to bed claim
>>
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>>683367616
One day you'll get together, I'm sure of it! Just stay negative

>>683367777
Shieeet those quads for me?
Thanks friend

>>683368404
If it doesn't then I think I can safely say a few months. I had my gf live with me all the time for a while. Ah, nostalgia

>>683368617
>I breathed harder through my nose
Holy shit Shinoa, nice wank
I'm actually curious as to how it would feel
>>
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>>683368541
I'm not the same Tomoko poster you're thinking of
I've only posted about 5 times before
>>
>>683368445
>>683368611
>

>>683368626
Night!

>>683368730
Really should've rewrite question
>>
>>683368947
>
>>
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>>683368611
>spooked
>>
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>>683369082
ohhhhhh i didn't realize
do you have a signature?
>>
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>>683368611
Oh what up smug bun
>>683368963
>>683368626
Goodnight you two
>>683369085
Yeah. True answer is 6 months. I didnt wank for 6 months.
>>
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>>683368378
Its just a picture
>>
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>>683368404
As Yuuko always says
>life sucks
>drop out
Eh, still drinking. You know, it's to my attention that this place is like a smaller /b/ inside /b/. The QOTTs are sort of like ITTs and all the rules are broken in here, haha.

>>683368445
Be on my face if I weren't sitting down. >The liquor's calling the shots now, Randy
>>
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>>683369085
>>
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>>683369085
adding relationships don't count?? lol
>tfw mine still stays the same
>>
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>>683368963
Forgot to add one thing
>I'm Glitterdick Yotsuba
>>
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>>683369082
no way
You aren't the one that works at Arby's?
>>
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>>683369306
Success.
>>
>>683369439
>phone
>fuckyukaidesu
>>
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>>683369058
I will!~
>Positive
>>683369551
Dem feels..I don't know them
>>
>>683369439
>>
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>>683366595
The guilt treatment isn't going to work, Dad. I regret nothing! A surgical technician is another word for scrub, right? I apologize if that's offensive. At least you'll make a good living once you're done with school.
>>
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>>683367845
A rather normal day. I cut my hair every 5 months. I don't want it to get too long, and look like a emo or Joe Dirt.
>>683368775
Was I suppose to feel something? I didn't get much done too. I just stayed home and went out to buy stuff.
>>
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>>683369439
I feel you. Im kinda a lightweight though...
>I probably drank too much... kek
>>
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>>683367029
Ah, probably about two months
>tfw when you power through no-fap November
>tfw when you're in the shit now, keep your streak

>most relieving wank I have ever experienced\

>>683369595
What am I gonna do with all of these goddamn eyebrows
>Pickles
>>
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>>683368368
See ya later man.

>>683368404
Yeah it's probably just the usual anxiety.

>>683368445
No problem princess!

>>683368626
>>683368963
Night.
>>
>>683370055
>>683370055
>>683370055
>>
>>683369928
Welcome back.
>Shizuru
>>
>>683369345
I don't follow
but I made those images you click and reveals another
can't post one limit....

>>683369595
no I do handyman jobs
>>
>>683369857
>>683369857
Damn you Yuuko
You killed the feels the picture gives me for some reason


>Mugi
Thread replies: 172
Thread images: 151


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