Navigation: /b/ - Random [Archive] | Search | [Home]
RandomArchive logo

I fucked up last night guys, gf is coming in an hour. What do?

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 297
Thread images: 58
File: IMAG0589.jpg (2 MB, 1520x2688) Image search: [Google]
IMAG0589.jpg
2 MB, 1520x2688
I fucked up last night guys, gf is coming in an hour. What do?
>>
File: 1448248522967.gif (2 MB, 360x270) Image search: [Google]
1448248522967.gif
2 MB, 360x270
Accept your fate.
>>
>>680019446
Dude if I were to see that, I wouldn't think anything weird of it, you're good, anon.
>>
>>680019446
Punche yourself and cause many bruises to distract from the ones on your neck
>>
Cold spoon
>>
wear a scarf for at least a week. say you got the flu. If this won't help then you must face the wrath of khan... Or roll 2-12 for evasion.
>>
Use makeup if you have some laying around
>>
>>680019446

I will tell you exactly how 2 dissapear the bruises like in 20 min (given the fact you got what it needs to)

But first post nudes of your GF
>>
Put on a neck brace and say you fell
>>
>>680019446
>Put spoon in multiple spoons in the freezer
>Wait
>Put cold spoons on hickeys til they disappear
>???
>Profit
>>
Put on some makeup.
>>
File: EVCZxA8.jpg (217 KB, 785x900) Image search: [Google]
EVCZxA8.jpg
217 KB, 785x900
>>680019446
Go blackface
>>
>>680019446

punch yourself in the mouth & eye & say you were in a fight.
>>
>>680019446
Wrap a rope around your neck and pretend to hang yourself for a couple seconds until you get rope bruises. After when she asks say you tried killing yourself or a friend choked you with a rope hehe
>>
Run fool, make excuse and run before she gets there
>>
Tell her you got choked out. Looks more like that anyway.
>>
File: 1459266074267.jpg (114 KB, 1600x990) Image search: [Google]
1459266074267.jpg
114 KB, 1600x990
>>680019991
yeah put a spoon in the freezer for about 15 minutes then put it on the spot and twist it.
>>
>>680019446
use a comb
>>
Tell her the truth
>>
File: IMAG0591~01.jpg (374 KB, 1395x1051) Image search: [Google]
IMAG0591~01.jpg
374 KB, 1395x1051
>>680019753
>>680020010
It's way more visible in person, she's definitely gonna notice. Also I don't ever use scarfs because I'm not a faggot, oh well.. I really liked her
>>
>>680019446
turtle neck
>>
>>680020406
Don't cheat on your girlfriend maybe? Sorry that's crazy I know.
>>
How about you just be honest, let her tell you what a piece of shit you are, and go on with your life. Next time find a gf who's just as big a twat as you though.
>>
Treat your next girlfriend with more respect
>>
>>680020406
U dead m8
>>
Cold spoon
>>
>>680020406
>Have your best guy friend come over
>"fight"
>he "chokes" you
>GF walks in
>gf asks why
>because Wu-Tang clan aint nothin to fuck with
>>
>>680020406
Ice will help, wear some makeup. Put spoons in the freezer. Also, if your not in highschool, maybe opt out of hickies
>>
>>680020406 serves you right, fucking cheating fag
>>
>>680020406
Tell her to come over tonight. Turn off all of the lights. Proceed to fuck her and make her give you hickeys. and give her hickeys. Make sure its in the same spot
>>
>>680020527
This. I don't understand why people cheat. Is it that hard to be loyal to someone?
>>
>>680019753
virgin detected.
>>
>>680020411
KEK
>>
File: anar fail.jpg (232 KB, 1024x681) Image search: [Google]
anar fail.jpg
232 KB, 1024x681
>>680019901
this works
>>
>>680020106
This
>>
Tell her your grandma died and you must leave for a week. Hide in your house for a week.
>>
>>680019446
Say you tried to hang yourself, she'll feel sympathy for you and won't think of the hickeys again.
>>
>>680020406
You might as well an hero
>>
>>680019446
>breaking the trust of your partner and trying to hide it

tell her you are a piece of shit and that she's better without you.
>>
>>680019446
Tell her and let her leave you cause you're a terrible person
>>
just come clean. Say you were drunk and brush it off as if someone took advantage of the situation. Most grills wouldn't dump you just cos you cheated. Secretly they like that you're wanted by other women. Also often I've seen grills putting in more effort in their relationship after their guy cheated.

tl;dr: you're a stud, not your fault. She can leave but she won't
>>
Say you started Brazilian jiu-jitsu, get an abrasive towel and rub it along the areas where the hickies are, say it's just gi burn from the friction of practicing chokes.

> then really sign up because it's awesome.
>>
>>680020406
OP I can get you out of this but first I need you to find these common house household objects.
1) Bleach
2)Some form of marker, preferably a sharpie
3)A Camera
>>
File: rambo 3.jpg (9 KB, 320x180) Image search: [Google]
rambo 3.jpg
9 KB, 320x180
say that it was your best friend mike who did these to you
>>
>>680019446
time to learn make up nigga
>>
>>680019446
Tie a belt/scarf around your neck, as she walks in - pretend to be in the middle of an hero, get sympathy & get do anything you want to her sexually...
Post pics here
Everybody >profit
>>
>>680020994
Sometimes, I pull on it so hard. I rip the skin
>>
Either go buy coverup at the drugstore. My brother helped me out once,using makeup from the funeral home he works at.
>>
>>680020406
Well, you may have cheated on your girlfriend and are about to get dumped, but at least you're not a faggot, right?
>>
>>680020994
I agree, if OP's fucked anyway, he should come out as the faggot truly he is
>>
File: rambo.jpg (7 KB, 184x184) Image search: [Google]
rambo.jpg
7 KB, 184x184
>>680021122
mmmmm
>>
>>680019446
Tell her you got into a fight with a nigger and your pack of Oreos fell on the floor, and when you went to pick them up he straddled you and started choking you out but you broke his vice-like grasp and caved his head in.

Then eat a handful of crumbled Oreos in front of her.
>>
>>680020527
>>680020536
>>680020559
>>680020660
>>680020669

Fuck, I know. This girl quite literally threw herself at me and I was drunk and she was hot.. and I didn't think I'd ever cheat but yeah.. as I said I fucked up. Won't do it again :/
>>
File: 1421191170955.jpg (115 KB, 600x611) Image search: [Google]
1421191170955.jpg
115 KB, 600x611
>>680019446
I guess if you hurt yourself really bad by throwing yourself down some stairs, she probably wouldn't notice those among all your other wounds. This has the added bonus of possibly killing you, you fucking faggot, so it's worth the shot.
>>
you don't know how to get rid of those? hahaha have fun anon.
>>
you fucked up lol
>>
Get a knife and cut lightly near the area, just enough to bleed then pretend you're self harming
>>
>>680020867
Honestly, I think I'll do this.
>>
Cut your throat fagget
>>
File: image.jpg (20 KB, 180x250) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
20 KB, 180x250
Cut throat off!
>>
>>680021357

Yeah you will. You don't have to lie to strangers.

You're on here bragging, after all.
>>
>>680021178
XD what is this called again i wanna watch it
>>
File: 1458086747147.jpg (24 KB, 480x516) Image search: [Google]
1458086747147.jpg
24 KB, 480x516
it's ez, you only need:
-a mirror
-a vacum cleaner

>sit on the floor
>put the mirror in front of you
>grab your vacum cleaner
>wait until she opens the door
>act like you've been doing those hickeys with your vacum cleaner
>say "oh i didn't see you there, hi"
>>
Put up a camera and stream her reaction
>>
op did it to himself, drama queen.
>>
tell her you have been violated
insert something in your anus for better results
>>
what a fucking gay post
>>
Tell her it was just a prank gone sexual
>>
File: rob-halford.jpg (120 KB, 670x950) Image search: [Google]
rob-halford.jpg
120 KB, 670x950
Scratch up your face and say you got into a fight, she will know otherwise that you cheated. It would be funny when actually there is a video where OP makes out with stereotypical gay guy.
>>
You obviously didn't like her enough not to fuck around op. Take your fate like a man.
>>
>>680019446

lmfao youre fucked. BUT this is what i did. just keep it covered some how then get her to have sex and the grab her head and put it on yorue neck to make her think she put them there. /thread
>>
>>680019446

Be a fucking man and own up to it?

17 year olds try to hide shit like this because they're immature. People older than that do it because they're afraid of accepting the consequences of their actions.

If you lie about it this kind of behavior will become habitual. So unless that's the kind of person you want to be then just come clean ASAP.
>>
>>680021357 sorry but everyone doesn't deserve a second chance
>>
File: 1456477415750.jpg (75 KB, 960x954) Image search: [Google]
1456477415750.jpg
75 KB, 960x954
>>680021357

OP tell her you were in a bar or somewhere and then this CRAZY group of chicks from a bachelorette party played stupid games with you and your buddies. if you can act it, it´s may worth a try
>>
>>680021527
Try Steve Rambo something

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b40QdTRaqFk
>>
>>680021542
Fucking win
>>
>>680021542
This, fuckin this. This is fucking foolproof
This, do this op, this is something yo need to do, this needs to be done, this
>>
File: margeonverge.jpg (42 KB, 612x612) Image search: [Google]
margeonverge.jpg
42 KB, 612x612
slash your throat, she won't care about your marks.
>>
>>680021542
This is so stupid it may actually work, I would definitely do this.
>>
>>680020233
I like this plan. It will distract from your neck and you could say the bruising is from trying to rub off the blackface
>>
>>680019446
Who fuckin does hickeys anymore? Your obviously to dumb to cheat, first rule is no evidence.
>>
>>680021542
This right here, 100% works
>>
File: 1285506919261.png (5 KB, 210x222) Image search: [Google]
1285506919261.png
5 KB, 210x222
>>680020619
>underrated post
>>
>>680021085
Haha this ftw, well done anon
>>
File: Rambossa skin.png (17 KB, 195x354) Image search: [Google]
Rambossa skin.png
17 KB, 195x354
Did ap rip the skin?
>>
If she is infatuated with you enough you can get through it. Woman have no self respect when it comes to "love"
>>
Jesus Christ OP, go to Wal Mart or Target and buy a turtleneck problem solved.
>>
>grab a quarter or a similar sized coin
>rub it against the hickeys
It works to make them less visible
>>
>>680019446
make up fake fight with neighbor/friend/whoever or fake mugging.
rough yourself up a bit, tiny trace of hot sauce on the finger and wipe just below the eye will cause some mild sweling and redness , just say the guy grabbe you and slapped you but you left before you killed him .
>>
wrap something around your neck and pull it tight and bruse the rest of your neck. Then tell her that you were so depressed without her you tried something stupid.
>>
File: 1374674378045.jpg (132 KB, 604x454) Image search: [Google]
1374674378045.jpg
132 KB, 604x454
>>680021542
>oh no
>I hoped to trixx u
>u caught me
>LELELELELEL
>>
>>680020669
You know I ask myself the same question, it's such a waste of time if you're actually trying to be in a relationship. He shouldn't waste her time or his and just let her dump him
>>
>>680022168
I know.. it kinda took me by surprise and I forgot to stop her.. Honestly, I was too drunk but yeah, I think I'll just apologize and tell her I know it's over.. fuck.
>>
when is OP's ex coming home?
>>
File: 1456809959047.jpg (6 KB, 325x143) Image search: [Google]
1456809959047.jpg
6 KB, 325x143
>>680020406
You could of lied and said you had something else going on to buy more time retard.
>>
>Let her see neck
>let her break down in tears front of you and start screaming and hitting you
>then start laughing and point to a corner of the room and say "It's just a prank, it's just a prank". "Oh you actually believed it"
>put video on youtube for all of us to see
>she will believe it
>win win
>>
>>680019446
kekekekekek
>>
>>680022637
I don't consider it cheating, more like making porn with a stranger.
>>
>>680020106
this!
>>
>>680021542
this might actually work, if she asks what you are doing just say that you like how it feels(you will look like an autist but better an autist than single)
>>
>>680021542
say some dumb shit like you wanted to prank her and XD LOL.
>>
>>680022839
not bad at all!! Blame the vacuum
>>
>>680022839
This might work, the OP must post video
>>
Your gonna have to hurt yourself op. Like cause alot more bruises and cuts on your neck say you were jumped if she asks and didn't want to worry her
>>
>>680021542
So fucking dumb, I love it.
>>
>>680022956
Kek, but seriously though I been cheated on and the thing that pissed me off most was the time I wasted with her thinking it was exclusive
>>
>>680020952
this!
>>
File: PepePsychologist.jpg (387 KB, 798x1000) Image search: [Google]
PepePsychologist.jpg
387 KB, 798x1000
>>680022839
This actually might be pretty good
>Wear scarf from the beggining
>Babe we need to talk
>I've been cheating etc.
>Its just a prank
And he can say that he did something along the lines of >>680021542 to do the hickeys
>>
>>680019446
Get a rope and choke yourself until you get bruises
>>
File: RIP.jpg (24 KB, 388x392) Image search: [Google]
RIP.jpg
24 KB, 388x392
>>680023254
Forgot to put in
>Remove scarf
after babe we need to talk
>>
>everyone seems to know where OP's bruises came from
>i have no idea

explain pls
>>
Indian neck burns with friends?
>>
punch your eye and tell her babe i got robbed real bad; can i borrow $100?
btw neck marks are from getting choked. shes probly never been choked and wont know what it really looks like
>>
>>680023254
Oh man, this is perfect. If she doesn't fall for it at least she gotta appreciate the commitment. That's ETHANBRADBERRY levels of prank
>>
do you not own a fucking hoodie? wear that, kick her out soon, tell her you're coming down with the flu.
>>
>>680023516
hickies bro
>>
>>680020619
nice!
>>
File: Rambossa.png (15 KB, 198x371) Image search: [Google]
Rambossa.png
15 KB, 198x371
>>680023516
His friend Mike and him were drunk last night and kinda hooked up.
>>
Get neck tatoos
>>
>>680020664
solid plan
>>
say you got mugged. Nigga tried to strangle you and left marks.

or say you got a bit too fresh with your mom.
>>
File: IMG_3679.jpg (66 KB, 500x333) Image search: [Google]
IMG_3679.jpg
66 KB, 500x333
use vaccum cleaner to make a hickies in a perfect ring around your neck
then tell her you got into a fight and someone choked you out really hard
>>
>>680020893

This is the real advice
>>
>>680023254
best one yet.
Just a prnk breh :^)
>>
File: wine.jpg (4 KB, 300x300) Image search: [Google]
wine.jpg
4 KB, 300x300
>>680019446
i you got one of these you're saved my friendo
>>
Say someone choked you out.with some other excuse why he was.
>>
>>680023713
this.
>>
>>680024091
tf is that?
>>
Tell your friend put leeches on you while you were sleeping. Use the vacuum and make marks on ur 4Head
>>
Send her a snapchat of you using a vaccuum on your lips or whatever, just fucking around with a vacuum. Use it on your neck and chest/cheeks. Hopefully you're a bit of a fuckin' weirdo, then it wont seem out of place.
>>
>>680020233
yes, pull the ethan meme tan and say you just really wanted to get into a boy band and then vigorously fuck her while singing one direction
>>
File: 1427929437184.png (153 KB, 334x334) Image search: [Google]
1427929437184.png
153 KB, 334x334
Tbh if you're this much of a retard op i hope you get busted and she dumbs your sorry ass
>>
>>680019446
Put toothpaste on them. They clear up quicker. Not instant though so maybe tell her not to come over tonight cause you got the shits or something.
>>
>>680023516
When a man and a Female do the kiss and fuck they sometimes like to kiss their partners neck. This can however leave marks, which is kinda bad. It's super bad if you are a cheating scum
>>
File: 1461007066003.jpg (72 KB, 680x598) Image search: [Google]
1461007066003.jpg
72 KB, 680x598
>>
OP, just make an excuse and go out for the day, ffs. Hide in a friends house until hickeys are gone, or rent a hotel.
>>
Be an hero
>>
>>680024537
>dumbs
>ops retarded
>mfw
>>
File: nohickey.gif (38 KB, 357x200) Image search: [Google]
nohickey.gif
38 KB, 357x200
Walk around like this when she's around.
>>
>>680024873
kek
>>
>>680022019
ty anon <3
>>
File: 1460030393929.gif (416 KB, 250x175) Image search: [Google]
1460030393929.gif
416 KB, 250x175
>>680024873
Life hack
>>
>>680020893
All you guys are virgin fags. This is what girls are like

No girl likes a white knight

"you are a piece of shit for cheating"
>>
>>680019446
shave, and cut your self up pretty good in spots, say it slipped or some shit.
>>
>>680024158
pumps air out of wine bottles, the rubber bit is the "cork"
>>
>>680020893
Real Advice
Stupid Enuff it could work advice
>>680021542
>>680022839
>>680023254
>>
>>680019446
Op posted this at 11:42 it is now 12:34 - MOMENT OF TRUTH INCOMING, dont forget to update
>>
>>680019446
Make it look like someone tried to strangle you.
1. Tie rope around your neck
2. Hang yourself.
>>
>>680019446
theres a trick involving a spoon use google retard
>>
Hickeys...
OP is going to jail for fooling around with a minor.
>>
File: IMAG0595~01.jpg (226 KB, 1520x999) Image search: [Google]
IMAG0595~01.jpg
226 KB, 1520x999
Sis already saw me, she didn't say anything but she fucking knew.. Tbh, I don't think I'm gonna try and hide this shit guys. It's too embarrassing and I'm too much of an asshole already.
>>
>>680026348
You are a dumb cunt
>>680020893
This is what you should be listening too
>>
>>680026348
Get ready for a bunch of drama than faggot, but you're retarded for getting hickeys in the first place
>>
>>680026348
You're fucked OP. Follow >>680021542
advice or come clean
>>
>>680026348
Make love tonight. Put her to bite your neck, don't be stupid.
>>
>>680026348
also, she's probably going to cheat on you as well, so get ready for that, using the same excuse that you did, kinda broke the relationship hard
>>
>>680026348
Keep us posted on what happens. I wanna know how this shit turns out. Goodluck bruh.
>>
>>680019446
Go to a makeup store, ask them to recommend a foundation and cover it up, just keep your distance from your girl so she doesn't realize it's makeup... did this before as well, it's nerve wrecking but can work.
>>
Tell her it's a skin rash caused by an allergy or something
>>
>>680020893
Good luck finding someone who a actually loves you, prick. Do you enjoy hurting the people you care about?
Oh right, you don't care.
You might not die a virgin but you'll die alone you STD collector
>>
Aw shit guys..
>>
film yourself apologising to your gf you spineless cunt
>>
>>680019753
Carl the cuck go
>>
'Hey babe, yeah I'm not feeling well today.. can we hang out some other time? Sorry, I dont want you to get sick as well..'
>>
>>680027215
You're dead.
>>
OP IS A CUNT
>OP IS A CUNT
OP IS A CUNT
>OP IS A CUNT
OP IS A CUNT
>OP IS A CUNT
OP IS A CUNT
>OP IS A CUNT
OP IS A CUNT
>OP IS A CUNT
OP IS A CUNT
>OP IS A CUNT
fucking tell her the truth and take the punishment you deserve
piece of shit, get cancer and die
>>
>>680019446
>Inviting your GF over after that
You deserve it
>>
>>680019753
Spot the virgin
>>
>>680027697
This
>>
Just tell her you're budy you fucking faggot.
Is life so hard? Can't make up excuses for 4-5 days til they're gone? Say you're sick or you have work.
>>
>>680027912
busy*** not budy
>>
>>680027031
Stop being a little bitch white knight
>>
>hide a camera and start recording
>tell her youve been cheating on her
>after a while tell her it was just a prank and you used a vaccum cleaner to make the hickeys
> show video and post online
>just a prank bro
>>
>>680028147
brilliant
>>
>put a belt around our neck and start jerking off
>something about choke and stroke
>???
>profit
>>
There is absolutely no way to get rid of three hickies in that amount of time.

If you had more time you could have used a cold spoon or put ice in a towel over it.

If you're absolutely desperate then seriously punch yourself in the neck, rubber band snap your neck or some shit and say you got into a fight.

Otherwise you're fucked m8
>>
>>680027912
This, why not just wait it out.
>>
File: 00.jpg (2 KB, 112x112) Image search: [Google]
00.jpg
2 KB, 112x112
>>680028147
do this if shes a retard OP
>>
>>680019446
make up an excuse and tell her she can't come over. tell her your mom (or some relative she isn't friendly with) was in a car accident in the next town over and you have to go to the hospital.

Or go buy a neckbrace and tell her you were in a car accident and have whiplash, and then just wear it whenever you're around her for the next 2 weeks
>>
op is kill
>>
Rub a nickle on it, seriously.
>>
>>680029594
Too late.
>>
File: 1459879922204.jpg (26 KB, 480x319) Image search: [Google]
1459879922204.jpg
26 KB, 480x319
op is gone, but not forgotten (yet)
>>
>>680020669
Yes? Monogamy goes against human nature, it's a modern invention. Tens of thousands of years ago when humans were still tribal the men would fuck and impregnate as many women as possible and it would be the womans brothers/parents responsibility to raise her children since no one would know who the actual father was and so expecting one of the many tribesman that fucked her to take responsibility would not have made sense.

It's also why the penis has glans, we evolved them to scrape out the cum of other men and increase the chance of our own cum making the baby and passing on our genes.
>>
>>680019446
Slit your throat. That'll cover it up nicely. Like a painting over a hole in the wall
>>
>>680028147
Best idea yet.
>>
File: IMAG0609~01~01.jpg (359 KB, 1582x1455) Image search: [Google]
IMAG0609~01~01.jpg
359 KB, 1582x1455
She noticed right away, I told her the truth.. that I was drunk and stuff.. and I knew I was a fucking idiot. She's been in the bathroom for a while just sobbing and saying things like I never expected this from you, and 'how could you do this to me.. I'm crying like a bitch.. I don't know either.. she's great really
>>
>>680030113
biggest bullshit ever read
>>
>>680030266
am i the only one who thinks putting this on 4chan makes you way worse person than cheating
>>
>>680030202
Ok go with this then. Plan /b/ in full effect
>>
>>680021992
This, convince One of your Mates to help u
>>
File: 1434144228671.jpg (27 KB, 400x462) Image search: [Google]
1434144228671.jpg
27 KB, 400x462
>>680020406
Ded.
>>
>>680030266
Fucking say you were taken advantage of.

You were drunk, on the verge of passing out, and some drunk cunts thought it'd be funny to give you a hickey.
>>
File: checked.jpg (38 KB, 478x348) Image search: [Google]
checked.jpg
38 KB, 478x348
>>680030266
nice dubs but youre still fucked
>>
>>680030113
>naturalistic fallacy and further retardation: the post
>>
>>680021542
This op, is fucking perfect
>>
File: fuck the police.jpg (24 KB, 450x338) Image search: [Google]
fuck the police.jpg
24 KB, 450x338
>>680030266

post now it's the time to tell that it was all a joke
>>
File: nice.jpg (59 KB, 800x505) Image search: [Google]
nice.jpg
59 KB, 800x505
>>680030644
check em
>>
Cut your throat
>>
>>680029481
Mangofourty
>>
Get a friend to beat you up so you have major bruising all over your neck and face then tell her you got into a bar fight because you sucked the wrong dick.
>>
>>680019446
Drink bleach.
>>
>>680030266
Glad you came clean, OP. Maybe don't be a dick to the next girl
>>
confess and be atleast a slightly better person for it.

lieing is for pussies
>>
Can you take a quick photo of your girlfriend crying and you also crying at the same time, and then her hitting you mabye, and then more crying and then she gets her stuff and you say we can still be friends and then she leaves and you get on with your fucking life...Jeez
>>
She got any makeup in your house OP? Try to cover that shit up
>>
>>680021542
Pls This
>>
>>680030266
Be a fucking man, stop crying. Go in there right now and tell her that you're sorry. If she leaves you then you deserved it, if she doesn't then she's probably dumb, but don't do it ever again.

Even if you're a cold-hearted monster, you should atleast apologize for ruining it.
>>
File: mang00.png (277 KB, 366x562) Image search: [Google]
mang00.png
277 KB, 366x562
>>680030968
how did you know i was a mango sub and fan LOL mangoWEEB
>>
File: image.jpg (179 KB, 640x690) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
179 KB, 640x690
>>680020406
Clearly you didn't like her that much
>>
>>680030266
tell her you're sorry like you mean it and acknowledge that you are totally to blame, alcohol doesn't make people cheat anon, being a weak piece of shit scum does
>>
>>680031111
Behold the mighty quads
>>
>>680019991
op this is true it works
>>
>>680031174
dude mangos the fucking goat, next time you watch check for FramblersBrandScramblers
kreygasm
>>
>>680021542
This is actually genuinely clever.
>>
>>680030250
>combination of other ideas
>best idea yet!
You're both part of the problem
>>
>>680020994
lel
>>
File: mangOVER.png (28 KB, 112x112) Image search: [Google]
mangOVER.png
28 KB, 112x112
>>680031322
nice dubs ill see for you >swager1338
>>
>>680031111
I also got Zen Meteor today in Destiny, Good at work...A good day all round...for me! !Fnarb!
>>
>>680019446
You couldve used bug spray you dumbass
>>
>>680030113

>Modern invention

Not many things that can be named that aren't. Humans have the cognitive ability to reflect on ourselves and evolve culturally, that's what's natural to us. Just as natural as a sloth using his poop-claw to its full potential.
>>
We need proof op. Show us grill
I for one do not believe you niggar.
>>
File: 1430309458996.jpg (18 KB, 500x375) Image search: [Google]
1430309458996.jpg
18 KB, 500x375
>>680030465
OUT OF MY BOARD
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
Hook line and sinker
>>
Say you have diarrhea
>>
I hope she dumps your sorry ass.
>>
>>680031605
Yeah! Show us the grill!
>>
Just fucking tell her man. I just cheated on a girl (who I didn't like to be honest). Its eaasier to come clean than to try avoid the matter. I left it like a month until it got to the point that she knew and I knew she knew but it just got super awkward. The conversation was way harder and more emotional after all that

Also there's no way you're gonna get away with that shit on your neck. No one has a fight and gets kicked in the neck

A quick clean break is better for the both of you
>>
>>680031605

This. Pics of tears and tits or it didn't happen.
>>
>>680031111
Quads have spoken
>>
>>680021520
This
>>
File: knit_mens_matchingcardigan1.jpg (51 KB, 414x600) Image search: [Google]
knit_mens_matchingcardigan1.jpg
51 KB, 414x600
>>680019446
I was about to say...wear a turtleneck sweater...but you already DUN GOOFED
>>
>>680019446
Tell her you have AIDS
>>
>>680019446
If i was you OP (ofcourse iam not that retard to let a lady make NOT 1 BUT 3 hikies like wtf were you thinking, forbidden pussy cant be that good) I would itch my throat leaving vertical red scratches and because you have a little bit of that cute little beart you can say i fucking failed at shaving my gay ass beard so now its itchy as fuck i might have an allergy or something
-then she will be like awww damn you should see a doctor
-and you be like naah iam fine (act like a fucking hero)
-and she be like awww you so manly, here lemme give you some of pussy m8
THE END
>>
>>680032020
Thanks /b/ro at least someone is checkin em
>>
File: 1460811386495.gif (1 MB, 320x240) Image search: [Google]
1460811386495.gif
1 MB, 320x240
>>680020619
>>
>>680030465
im with you
>>
>>680020893
This, faggot.
>>
>>680030266
Your bathroom is only separated by a curtain? Do you ever poop when the other one is around?
>>
>>680032451
MOAR
>>
Turn the lights off to very low, when she comes in act like you are so passionate to see her since it's been however long. Initiate sex right then in there like your relationship depends on it. Give her some hickeys and make sure she gives you some back.
>Get sex
>Save your toxic relationship
>Continue your life as a shit head
>>
>>680030465
Not op but I'm sure his gf is gonna tell all her family and friend about that...
>>
File: 1458357353719.jpg (274 KB, 736x1107) Image search: [Google]
1458357353719.jpg
274 KB, 736x1107
>>680020527
>don't cheat on your girlfriend

OK cuck. You might have low-t. Sorry bruh
>>
File: Dis-gon-b-gud.gif (1 MB, 350x191) Image search: [Google]
Dis-gon-b-gud.gif
1 MB, 350x191
>>
>>680030113
Spotted the one who doesnt know true love
>>
File: image.jpg (76 KB, 640x429) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
76 KB, 640x429
If OP won't deliver the grill I will
>>
>>680020406
tell her it was made by one of your male friends because you lost a bet or whatever
>>
>>680027031
tits or gtfo
>>
>>680033061
WELL SPOTTED ANON
>>
>>680020406
ahahah you're fucked dude
>>
>>680033061
Bravo
>>
Any updates /b/ro?
>>
>>680033061
Bravo
>>
is he already single? tell us op we deserve to know it
>>
File: 1460330655600.gif (756 KB, 384x216) Image search: [Google]
1460330655600.gif
756 KB, 384x216
>>680033061
Winwar
>>
>>680021542
so stupid it could actually work
>>
>>680021775
Massively underrated post
>>
File: Clap.gif (2 MB, 360x152) Image search: [Google]
Clap.gif
2 MB, 360x152
>>680033061
>>
>>680019446
Hit yourself and convince her you were mugged and they gave you hickeys instead of raping you
>>
>>680033555
THE FUCK is this
>>
File: image.jpg (59 KB, 639x389) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
59 KB, 639x389
>>
OP here, last post I think.. She just left, and didn't say much else, I did apologize a bunch times..

>>680030465
>>680031111

I just kinda wanted to hear some real advice I guess, I hadn't told anyone and I feel like shit..

Not gonna share any pics of her.
I guess I'll wait in case (very small chance) she forgives me as I'm sure I'd never do this shit again.. I don't enjoy hurting people.. it may sound cliche but it was mainly the alcohol, I don't drink often, it's still entirely my fault of course.

Yeah, I'm most probably single already.
Anyway bye and thanks to the anons with actual good advice..
>>
>>680022839
fuck dude that is inspired, we could help OP by uploading a few a make out like its a thing
>>
File: 1457862932701.jpg (78 KB, 720x480) Image search: [Google]
1457862932701.jpg
78 KB, 720x480
>>
Stick a knife there. That usually works
>>
>>680033794
>expecting advice from /b/
OP retard confirmed
>>
try rape
it works
>>
>>680033794
Ah sweet sweet closure
>>
>>680019446
Happened to me, looked way worse though, the girl was a fucking psychopath . Girlfriend showed up next morning and I told her the craziest friend I had got wasted drunk and started trying to bite all of us.
If you pick the right crazy friend she'll just be like "fucking typical"
>>
File: image.jpg (69 KB, 640x508) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
69 KB, 640x508
>>
>>680033794
Good Luck, OP
>>
>>680027642
Spot the girl who is super salty about being cheated on
>>
File: image.jpg (68 KB, 640x451) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
68 KB, 640x451
>>
>>680033794
what a fucking pussy
>>
>>680019446
Pretend it's not there, if she asks, deny everything. Deny till you die.
>>
File: images (16).jpg (25 KB, 443x332) Image search: [Google]
images (16).jpg
25 KB, 443x332
OPs tears
>>
>>680034483
>girl
>4chan
im a guy
>>
File: image.jpg (88 KB, 640x463) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
88 KB, 640x463
>>
>>680020406
>I really liked her
>cheated on her
piece of shit confirmed

>inb4 virginfag whiteknight
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure you shouldn't fucking cheat on your girlfriend, asshole. If you want a different woman so fucking bad just break up with her.
You're fucked. And you deserve it
>>
File: file.png (75 KB, 737x350) Image search: [Google]
file.png
75 KB, 737x350
>>680019446
>>
>>680033794
Bruh, shes going to go get drunk and cheat on you, ggwp
>>
File: image.jpg (62 KB, 640x469) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
62 KB, 640x469
>>
>>680031500
Like 60% of divorce ? Modern invention right
>>
Some random zombie bitch on the street tried to bite you, OP.
>>
>>680035242
I've done this before, it works and just leaves a big red area that looks like you've been scratching at it.
>>
File: image.jpg (70 KB, 640x442) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
70 KB, 640x442
>>
File: image.jpg (67 KB, 632x451) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
67 KB, 632x451
>>
Well....I need your help /b/ros....
I was at my girlfriend's house cooking her lunch so she would eat after work and I found some unopened condoms in her drawer...
I ran back home, cried like a bitch and post here... I don't know what to do....we've been together for a year and we can't have babies because I'm sterile...we have never used any form of protection...and we decided not to use them...I'm still in shock....
>>
>>680033794
good luck in finding new gf, comrade.
your relationship boat just sink
>>
>>680021542
Nah, just lay on the couch and do it, like you're just doing some retarded shit with the vacuum while watching tv. Do not act like you were giving them to yourself in a mirror. It's better that way somehow.
>>
>>680030266
Real men cry!
>>
>>680036067
kek, if the box was unopened maybe she bought them before you started fucking
>>
>>680037246
No...I saw a receipt saying she bought condoms 1 day ago...
>>
File: 1452094388245.jpg (9 KB, 276x183) Image search: [Google]
1452094388245.jpg
9 KB, 276x183
>>680020406

what was his name OP? looks like he has quite the bite on him
>>
>>680037382
yeah because she keeps receipts for condoms...
gr8 b8 m8
>>
>>680030465
Seconded
Thread replies: 297
Thread images: 58


Navigation: /b/ - Random [Archive] | Search | [Home]
Navigation: /b/ - Random [Archive] | Search | [Home]


If you need a post removed click on it's [Report] button and follow the instruction.
DMCA Content Takedown via dmca.com
If you like this website please support us by donating with Bitcoins at 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that RandomArchive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.