>be me >29 y/o >lawyer at local firm >job is soul
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>be me
>29 y/o
>lawyer at local firm
>job is soul sucking
>make decent money but long hours
>pretty much no social life
>havent been with a girl since sophomore year of college
>no one talks to me at work because everyone busy with their own work
>first time in months I have some free time at lunch
>go to subway to get a meatball sub
>standing in line when a girl walks in behind me
>she's pretty cute, kind of rough, tattoos, band t shirt, nose ring
>she catches me looking at her so I nervously smile and look away
>she asks me what I usually get
>tell her 12 inch meatball sub
>she makes a joke that I look like the type of guy that could take 12 inches of meat and balls
>nervously laugh
>ask her what she gets
>she says roast beef and pastrami on rye
>try to concoct some sort of vagina roast beef joke
>comes out as autistic babbling
>she pieces together what I meant and laughs at how much of a retard I am
>after I order she asks if she could eat with me
>I said sure
>ohfuckwhatdo.exe
>we talk and surprisingly things go less awkward than expected
>she gives me her number and tells me to call her sometime
>fuckyes.jpg
CONT.
>>706113185
I would like that yes. Please do continue.
>>706113185
Please cont. I'm intrigued.
Op continue pls
>go home that night feeling happy for once
>look at her number and not sure if I should call now or wait to not look desperate
>decide to call her right then
>she answers
>super nervous
>gurgle out some unintelligible stutterting
>shes confused and asks who it is
>all I can say is subway
>she realizes its me and laughs and asks whats up
>i tell her i wanted to ask her on a date
>she thought it was funny that I called her so soon
>she asks me what I have planned for the date
>fuck did not think this through
>start my retard stutter again
>she stops me and say that her parents have tickets to the symphony and that we could go to that
>happily agree
>hang up, jerk off in celebration
CONT.
This story is better than Batman v superman
>>706113185
What firm?
Does it matter what firm?
i love greentext love stories but inb4 dinosaur
also crop that photo OP, she's not wearing her hat right
pic related but it's up to you to figure out how
>>706114071
I'm a 29 year old lawyer from southern California so yea, I'm curious
>>706114212
weird that you have a job that revolves around reading and writing when you're clearly not comprehending everyone's fucking username
>decide that because were going to the symphony I need to buy something nice to wear
>decide to buy a watch because I like james bond
>next day go to a local jewelry store and look around
>jeweler asks me what Im looking for and I say a nice watch
>elegant yet sport, I have no idea what im talking about
>he recommends a rolex submariner, same one james bond wore
>ask how much, $7,000
>say fuck it, ive saved a lot from having no social life
>swipe my debit card and wear it out the store
>saturday comes and i pick her up at her apartment
>her names madi by the way
>shes dressed nice, but in the kind of rough, punk type of way, tattoos showing, boots n shit
>im wearing boot cut khakis and a blazer my dad gave thats a little too big
>we look like the most retarded couple ever
>drive to the symphony, making decent small talk
>seems that i have my nervous retard stutter under control
>go in, find our seats
> show begins
>next is 2 hours of boring as fuck classical music
>she seems to really like it, so I fake interest
CONT.
>>706113185
Hey OP is being a lawyer similar to Ace Attorney.
>>706113185
OP's story illustrates perfectly why whores are better than normals.
>for 200 bucks OP could have been balls deep, kicked her out and be playing vidya instead of listening to retarded music and having her ditch him to go fuck chad
>>706113185
You would drop 7000 on a first date. Smells like b8 m8
>>706114381
7k for a New rolex submariner? Where is this?
>>706114381
If it was Hoslt or Mozart then you're a tasteless little bitch.
PLEASE CONT. OP!
>after the symphony, I recommend we go get something to eat
>she asks where, and i say i know a little italian place that has really good ricotta
>drive around for 30 minutes looking for it
>swear it was right here, bring up google maps
>cant find it
>end up going to olive garden
>we sit down and i do my best to try and show off my new watch
>she pays zero attention to it
>shes really interested in artsy stuff and bands and culture
>way out of my league but do my best to bullshit it
>order spaghetti and meatballs
>she orders chicken spiedini
>she makes another joke about how I love meat and balls
>try to make a joke about her being a chicken
>I feel the autistic babbling coming
>fight it off by making "bwaak bwaak bwaak" chicken noises, flapping my elbows like wings
>godfuckingdamnit
>she laughs at me and calls me a dork
>think Im still in this
>we talk about more culture and bands ive never heard of and start to head home
CONT.
>>706114381
Btw you know that in the last couple of Bond movies he wears a omega
>>706115099
Oh my God, fucking end your life.
>>706113185
What law do you practice?
I wanna get into law.
>>706115037
It's amazing.
tl;dr OP is an autistic insecure faggot and he spent 7k on a second hand rolex so he could fuck a scene girl who felt bad for him
>mfw my life isn't so bad overall
>>706115288
the good kind
>>706115037
Cont. M8
>>706115037
I hope this ends well. I've had a really long day
>inb4 jet fuel can't melt steel beams
>>706113185
Bump
>mfw op turns out to be a nigger
>get to her apartment complex
>sit in the car talking
>its getting late, probably 11
>she starts talking about some indie band
>tell her I've never heard of it
>says I'll love them and have to come up and listen to them with her
>ididitboys.png
>say yes before she even finishes the sentence
>go up to her apartment
>she pulls out a record and puts it on the record player
>of course shes into vinyl
>sitting on the couch together listening
>she had a few glasses of wne at dinner, a little drunk
>I dont drink, nervous as fuck, havent had sex in almost a decade
>too scared to make the first move
>she makes the first move, saves me from my autistic tendencies like always
>start making out
>make out for a while
>go to her bedroom
>she rides me the whole time, knowing that i dont know what the fuck Im doing
>its fucking awesome
>nervousness prevents me from orgasming
>sweet, better than not nutting at all
>eventually cum, fall asleep together
>wake up the next morning
>shes still asleep
>sit there and watch her
>think im in love
>probably just because shes the first women ive touched in forver, but who cares
>she wakes up, we have breakfast, things are going good
CONT.
>>706115037
Just fuckin continue to the end plssss
>>706115594
Same here man. Didn't come here expecting to share this feel
>>706115763
"think im in love"
...o
>>706115885
Shut the fuck up
>>706115763
CONTINUE FASTER. I AM INVESTED IN THIS STORY.
>>706115862
A little pick me up would just do it. I don't really want to go into detail, but it was gruesome
>>706115980
Lmao you neckbeard shitter. Go fall in love with the first girl you see just like OP.
I'm holding off sleep to finish this damn story. Let's finish up OP.
>>706113185
Yer story is ghey
Grill in picture is 10/10
continue that shit
>>706113185
I wish you get hit by a bus.
>>706116323
File name is madi.jpg, has to be legit
>>706116289
File name is madi.jpg, has to be legit
yo man you in this lmao
dis nigga type slow as fuck
Falling asleep here
>>706115763
Come on OP, Type faster, I'm tired of waiting.
>things are good
>2 months into the relationship
>my retard garbling is almost non existent, Im able to initiate sex without acting like an aspie
>havent worn the rolex more then twice since our first date
>sits in a lock box at home
>too nervous to wear it anyway
>we've been talking about planning a trip together
>havent talked too much about it, just that we want to
>at work
>secretary says "Madi line 1"
>weird, she never contacts me at work and if she does, she texts me
>answer the phone
>"hello darling"
>she sounds kind of frantic and rushed
>"hey anon, i just found the perfect trip for us, its a tour of europe, but we have to leave now, tomorrow at the latest or we wont get the deal!"
>tell her that I cant really leave right now, but i might be able to tomorrow, as i have no real active cases and have lots of vacation time saved up
>ask her how much tickers are
>she says $4000 a person all inclusive round trip but if we dont buy the tickets now, we wont get the deal
>i tell her i dont really have the money for that right now and that we should talk about it more when i got off work
>she sounds angry and flustered and says she'll see me when she gets home
>driving back from work
>feel bad that i just made the only girl ive ever loved angry
>decided I have to do something i should have done a while ago
CONT.
Nigger im almost passed out drunk what the fuck os the rest of the story
>after eating breakfast we sat together holding hands
>at this point my autism began to kick in again
>so I got up
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>>706116878
Low tier bait
>>706116878
Don't try, anon
>>706116777
I'm at the edge of my seat OP
>>706116878
Did somebody say 'Fake OP'?
>>706116777
>decided I have to do something i should have done a while ago
barrel_roll.exe
>>706116974
Simply want this negro to hurry up with his story.
>>706116777
im on the edge of my seat, post haste anon
>>706114710
Cmon, OP was in it 4 romance
>>706113797
everything is better than Batman vrs Superman
Gonna have to find a rekt thread to keep me amused while his slow arse types the rest of the story.
It is real time. OP just an hero
>>706116777
Checked
Cont. Op
It's gonna break my heart if crim & using
>>706117395
Kek
OP, I have a flight tomorrow morning, and you're the only thing keeping me from good sleep. Hurry tf up
>>706116878
NIGGA you didnt even build up a good enough cliff hanger. You ruined your opportunity
natural nesting instinct already kicking in two months into the relationship, demanding richfag anon to provide her with a vacation. this is going south
>>706117483
Where you heading to
>>706117483
Better not b wit Madi
>>706113915
Dewy cheatum and nigger
>>706117570
Cali for a vacation
>>706117585
Shhh, don't tell OP
I know lawyers charge by the letter but come on man this is in your free... Type faster
>not op here
>ffs.gif
>need to hurry tfu
>i have finals in 4 days
>go to the jewler that I bought the rolex from to ask for a refund
>they're closed after 5 pm
>drive down to the pawn shop
>ask them what they will give me for the watch
>he says without the box or papers he can only give me $4000 as he needs to turn a profit
>try to haggle but im too beta to get him to go up
>fuck it, it wsa just collecting dust
>should have enough to cover the trip now
>call madi, and it goes to voicemail
>send her a few texts
>couple hours go by, no reply
>next moring try calling her
>no reply
>drive to her apartment complex
>her car isn't there
>apartment door locked, blinds drawn
>thefuckisgoingon.txt
>go to work, keep calling her periodically
>call her work, they say she didn't show up today or the day before
>dont really know any of her friends
>a few days go by and im worried sick
>to the point where im crying and almost puking
>cant eat, cant sleep
>finally after the 4th day with no contact I go to the police department to try and file a missing persons report
>i explain my story to the police and they tell me that I cant file a report
>beg them to do anything they can
>i give them her name and my number and to call me if they find out anything
>next day I get a call
>its some investigator
>apparently there was a hit and run a few days ago that left two adults and two kids dead and that Madi was the main suspect
>heart stops
>about to throw up
>start my aspie babble again
>can barely comprehend what this guy is telling me
CONT.
>>706117058
>barrel_roll.exe
OH
GOD
DAMN
YOU
Well at least she didn't ask you for TREEFIDDY and turn into the loche ness monster.
>>706117622
U going to San Luis Obispo, i'll show your ass the town in my jesus walks sandals
>>706117585
kek
>>706114381
Uhm, 7000 for a watch? You trying to get gold diggers? 'Cuz that's how you get gold diggers
PS Fuck these storefronts
"I fell in love with a killer
i did did drill her
she rode my cock
instead of my usual cuming in a sock
i fell in love with a killer
her name was madi"
>>706114719
He has a fucking Rolex that's useful for countless first dates
>>706117535
You're right. What I should have said was:
>after eating breakfast
>six million niggers kicked the door in and proceeded to rape my Rolex
>they then stole the gril
>unfortunately for them I'm George Zimmerman though
>so I literally shot each and every one of them individually
as soon as I got to the last nigger
>I open the door
>get on the floor
>you cannot flim-flam the Zim Zam you fucking nigger.
>>706117729
come on OP continue this shit
>>706117729
Based madi
>>706117729
This is getting juicy
>>706117729
>hit and run that left two adults and two kids dead
Holy shit.
>main suspect
HOLY SHIT.
At this point since murder is brought into the story I'm star g to get suspicious. I'm going to check to see if there is news about this.
Don't let me down OP.
>>706117729
Holy shit.
D... Does anybody else see the party hat?
Pic related
>>706118064
hello newfag
>>706118064
yeah
>>706117983
But as u know: flim-flan=zim-zam the killer [spector] crowd's goin wild op, the people's champion
>>706118064
Party hat?
>>706117762
Dude why the fuck would anyone vacationing in Cali go to Slo? I been to slo, it's a nice play dont get me wrong, really nice, I'd love to live there, but to vacation there? That nigga probably going to hollywood or SF or SD or anywhere but Slo tbh
>>706118064
Yes because it's 4chan's birthday
>>706117729
That's fucked up I'm sorry anon.
~§ending good vib€$
>>706118064
>sigh
Fuck off newfag
>>706118033
Holy fuck, child. get off this website.
>>706118064
No. What hat are you talking about?
>>706118033
Post results if found
Please finish story op
>>706118064
welcome to 4chan
>>706118163
Slo isnt nice but its where i live. Idk maybe anon wants sum college chicx
>>706118174
>holy fuck, child.
Go back to Tumblr faggot
>>706118121
Did you see the non-captcha
>>706118298
Dude it's pretty nice tho. You got dank beaches and shit, countryside, a costco. Better than LA lemme tell you that. It's hot and fucking traffic. One of my best homies is from Slo, place sounds so great
>>706118334
Lost my shit at wigger jim
>>706118404
Ya but sum1 in LA Miley Cyrus is taking a dump
>>706118334
>smug sue
Top kek
Jesus OP, type this shit out before hand, and post them like 1 min apart
This is taking too goddamn long
>>706118540
Agreeeeeed
POST MORE YOU FUCKING BASTARD
Feverishly jacking off to this
>months go by
>haven't heard from her
>police havent found her
>they did find her car ditched in the middle of the boonies
>damage to the front of the car removes all doubt that she was the driver in the hit and run
>killed 4 people
>police say she's most likely being harbored by friends or family members or she ran off to mexico, i live relatively close to the border
>don't know if ill ever see her again
>think about her everyday, all day
>even after she killed 4 people, tried to hustle me out of money, and abandoned our relationship, I still love her
>pretty sure ill always love her
>still working soul sucking job
>still no social life
>hate my job, hate my life
>part of me hopes that somehow she'll come back some day
And that is my story anon. All in all, life is pretty bleak. Haven't met another girl since, probably never will. Also lost $3,000. It sucks to suck.
Losing interest..... hurry the fuck up.
Fucken hurray up op or ima smash ya faggot
>>706118540
Here's something to laugh at while we wait.
Got any nudes of her?
Long story short OP hung him self, then he voided his Bowles.
That's fucking it?!? I waited for that?
>>706118629
That was anti climactic.
>>706118629
You're not OP, right? Becasue if you are, that's the most anticlimactic ending to a story I've ever seen.
>tfw you can't find anything on this hit and run whatsoever
>>706118629
Someone needs a starfish
it's a biochemical thing anon, it takes about three years to chemically get over someone you loved and lost. hang tough for a few years and you'll be back to normal
>>706118629
>life is bleak
Yes indeed.
See you in another life.
>>706118629
fuckin rip
>>706118629
Alright sleepy time gnight thanks for story time
>>706118629
to be honest i thought that story was going to end in you transferring her $8k to buy the tickets and then never seeing her again.
at least you got a few months happiness out of it.
>>706118629
fuck you
>>706118629
these stories are making my soul sucking loneliness even worse... the feels
>>706118629
thank you for posting, opie
glad you're not an accomplice at least
>>706113185
>tattoos
Let's find her
sum1 pick me up in slo, well be done before dinner time
>>706118767
IKR I CAN'T FIND SHIT EITHER. I'M FEELING THE TROLL FROM OP MAN.
>>706118629
Thank you for sharing.
>>706118640
Link to porn please, anon
>>706118629
is pic related?
Did u ever fuck Madi's anu$?
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
why the fuck are you guys thanking for a story holy fuck are you guys from reddit
>>706118629
OP post news article or time stamp of her or smth. Cuz the way that ended and with the fact that I can't find shit about this hit and run anywhere makes me feel like you're shitting us.
>>706119007
If it is, then I understand why OP is such a faggot
>>706119052
Shut up James
>>706119052
Welcome to 4chan David, this has been a thing for the past 12 years.
>>706118629
I kinda Hope you got sex worth of 3000bucks then.
>>706118765
>>706118730
>>706118723
OP failed to deliver. So I will invent another, better ending.
>months go by
>haven't heard from her
>police haven't found her
>damage to the front of the car removes all doubt that a woman was driving the car
poorly, as they tend to do
>one day out of the blue
>at a BLM protest
>protesting for DeShawn
>he shot 3 cops but they killed him so WTF
DINDUNUFIN
>out of nowhere a car comes flying down the street
>takes out a huge crowd of niggers
>omg, it's her
>she gets out of the car
>proclaims that she never passed her drivers test
>I was like...well I guess this all makes sense now
>she also professes her undying loyalty for Adolf Hitler and the Nazi Party
>I happen to hate niggers so not sure why I'm at a BLM protest
Oh yeah, for the keks
>we live happily ever after in Germany after the AfD takes control of the country and the 4th Reich ensues
The End.
Did u caulk that butt joint?
Hi guise this is madi
>>706119217
That... That was beautiful anon
>>706119217
Amazing
Op, iv tracked down madi's current #: (818)4592049
>>706119052
I wouldn't know how the user base behaves as I have never been on the site.
since you seem to be so familiar with it, perhaps you would find better company there?
put a hit out on her
to everyone complaining I was typing slow, sorry. I picked up drinking a couple months ago, im pretty drunk, and i decided to share my story so i was writing it as i was going
>>706119217
Kek bravo good sir. Bravo.
>>706119329
>>706119349
You're welcome, gentlemen.
>>706119475
Kek what the fuck why did I laugh
>>706119484
My ending was better.>>706119217
>>706119300
Check'd. Tits or GTFO.
>>706119217
Except for the reich didn't care about people being black. You're thinking of the ku klux faggots
Did u at least fuck her in the ass? Or r u 2 much of a gentlemen?
>>706119589
A sad love story, op. Made me sad for a little bit. When I read the first lines I was interested because I'm studying law myself Now.
>>706119050
>In the criminal justice system, Sexually based >defense are considered especially heinous.
>The dedicated detectives that investigate >These vicious felanies are members of an elite >squad Known as the Special Victims Unit,
>These are their stories...
>>706119643
No we are not gay like you and your blm dom Tyrone who uses your prolapsed asshole out like a vagina.
>>706113797
Very low bar
>>706119665
>hurdur popular opinion
Go read a book faggot
Ste>law
op, how u feel u a loya n madi didnt trust u 2 keep her outta the pen?
>>706119779
Nah bitch I just hate nazi cunts like you.
>>706119665
You do not belong here.
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>>706113915
Dindu Nuffin & Partners
Thx op a charming way to spend a few moments in my scary cabin in the woods
Enuf. Nazis fuck off. This is now a sexual stories about me, madi, thread
>>706119853
I probably have your grandfather's bloody old broken jawed ss skull hanging outside my front porch.
>>706119665
Fascist = Judging by facial and/or ethnic traits
Was the SS fascist? I won't answer, because IU'm french and in my country there are laws that can get me to prison if I speak my mind about world war 2.
But as you can see from the picture anon posted, the SS had many PoC in it.
>>706119589
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Hitler, Hitler he's our man, if he can't gas-'em, nobody can!
>>706113185
How the fuck has no one pointed out that subway has never served pastrami or rye.
Fuck you all. Seriously.
well this thread took an unexpected turn
>>706119988
I don't listen to nazi pigs. You guys are better dead hanging from my porch
>>706120063
Nigga meant...cousins
>>706115037
>order spaghetti and meatballs
>she orders chicken spiedini
>she makes another joke about how I love meat and balls
>try to make a joke about her being a chicken
>I feel the autistic babbling coming
>fight it off by making "bwaak bwaak bwaak" chicken noises, flapping my elbows like wings
>godfuckingdamnit
Jesus fucking christ, OP. My sides have left orbit and are chasing down the Voyager.
>>706120060
Dammit!!! Did not anticipate picture fucking up swastica.
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>>706120060
Your leader is a pussy who killed himself. Brb gonna burn 50 more nazi uniforms and flags in my bonfire
>>706119824
You don't know jack shit about national socialism though so your opinion is invalid. You see silly bald headed mongoloids parading around with a swastika and all the sudden you think a war that ended 70 years ago has anything to do with that?? Go back to Tumblr idiot
>>706120063
most people probably aren't familiar enough with subway's menu to know that
I certainly rarely eat there.
>>706120134
Yeah I got it you love to talk about your porch.
I'm not a nazi tho, I don't even vote.
I was trying to stay neutral, not my fault my post ended in 88.
You filthy jew.
>>706120237
Your so tough on the internet.
>>706120211
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We need /b/ detectives to find out if this story is real or not
For me, it seems weird that he is a lawyer and can't talk for shit. That's really weird.
>>706118629
I'm to lazy to gather all screencaps, but if someone else can do it I'd love you.
>>706120236
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>>706118988
Here hitler
http://www.cnn.com/videos/world/2016/09/16/italian-woman-commits-suicide-revenge-porn-jpm-orig.cnn
Part II
I swear this just in guise
ifound madi's tits on my borch
dancing madly i picked her ass off my couch and threw it thru the fire-flames GUITAR SOLO!
>>706120271
>>706120134
I smell a communist
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>>706120545
I'm what would have been if Marx had a retarded baby with Lenin.
At least I'm not a cultural marxist.
>>706120306
And you're uneducated on the Internet and real life. You literally have no reason to be butthurt unless you're a wealthy zionist in which case fuck you and what you've done to Palestine and everywhere else.
>>706115594
Same here anon
>>706120306
**you're
>>706118629
You give real lawyers a bad rap with your betaness.
>>706120725
Communism is extortion. You're dumber by the second lmao
I expected her to turn out being a guy after all that meat ball jokes
>>706121186
X is Y.
Always better with arguments.
>>706113185
>>706113695
>>706114381
>>706115037
>>706115763
>>706116777
>>706117729
>>706118629
Pretty sure this is the plot for the movie gardenstate OP.
>>706121268
>labour jobs
No one would volunteer to do shit jobs for free. If they do it only for food that's slavery. No one will cooperate without incentive on a grand scale. Either I OWN my own land, work it and keep to myself or you pay me.
