Alright faggots.
**ASK A PLUMBER ANYTHING**
If you ask the right question you may get some very interesting greentexts.
Also general plumbing advice.
If you appreciated the advice you were given, reward me with tits.
I like tits.
What was the most disgusting thing you ever pulled out of a pipe/drain?
>>674459251
Would you step on this puppy for 49 gigagilon dollars? Xd
>>674459251
Ever sniffed the panties of the home owner you were working for?
>>674459482
OP delivers.
> Be me
> Be called into caravan sale place of all joints.
> Caravan sales place is owned by friend of my father.
> Caravan sales place guy is also a plumber, can't fix own problems? WTF?
> Get to front reception
> "Hi, I am Plum/b/anon, I am here to fix problem."
> "Ok plumbanon, go ahead..."
> ....you autistic bitch...
> "What is the problem?"
> Consult with about 5 different ladies in office
> Not one of them has a clue.
> Call the owner
> "Oh right, the toilet won't flush"
> "...Yeah, it's kinda been like that for about a month now..."
> MFW they couldn't figure out what problem a plumber could be coming to attend after a month of not being able to flush the toilet properly.
Cont.
>>674459251
Apprentice, union, or school?
>>674459633
I'd step on 49 gigagilion puppies for 49 gigagilion dollars.
>>674459705
Nah, not a panty sniffer.
>>674459799
Used to be an apprentice.
Used to be union.
Now just working for myself.
>>674459777
> Check toilet.
> Clogged as fuck.
> Open inspection point at back.
> Overflows with murky sewer water.
> Herewefuckinggo.avi
> Pull out sewer machine.
> Set up sewer machine.
> Send sewer machine down line.
> End of the hook comes back fucking COVERED in tampons.
> Look around.
> Entire area covered in gravel.
> Nowhere to discreetly hide or bury tampons.
> Fuck it.
> Grab bucket, remove tampons, send hook down again.
> Blockage not moving.
> Retrieve more tampons.
> Some of them are still fresh and bloody.
Cont.
>>674460008
> Retrive more fucking tampons.
> About an hour passes, pulling out nothing but fucking tampons.
> Finally clear line.
> Flush with hose.
> Pack up gear.
> Walk into office.
> Ladies ask "What was problem?"
> "Sanitary napkins"
> Blankfuckingstares.winmov
> "Tampons..."
> It's like the choir all learned to sing at once.
> "Oh well it's not me!"
> "Oh it certainly isn't me!"
> "No, I'm too old!"
> Office space consisting of entirely 6 women.
> Poker face engaged.
> Good employee mode soon follows.
> "Oh yes of course!" *cringing internally*
> "Yeah, look it's obviously some customers who have come past and needed to use the toilet at some stage and have probably just you know, not had the right bin there etc..."
> Alpha of the dumb pipes up
> "BUT THE CUSTOMERS NEVER USE OUR TOILET!!!"
> All eyes on dumbus cunticus.
> Air freezes
> Literally 30 seconds of silence passes.
> "Oh, I mean... Yes! Yes that must be it!"
> Office motion goes back to normal, yet with red scowling faces.
Final tally of tampons.
Three quarters of a fucking bucket's worth...
But "It wasn't me..."
Bitches be liars.
OP i assume you someday had sex with a female client. Tell us how it happened.
>>674459251
Aren't you a bit annoyed that people think plumbers unclog toilets and sinks 90% of the time?
>>674460206
Not a client, but a co-worker.
>Be me.
>Be maintenance department of large office building.
>Building be full of absolute stunners, 10/10's galore, is like paradise except for one small detail
>Bitches be stuck up and won't talk to me.
>Friendly guy, spend all day running around saying hello to random femanons.
>All ignore me, all seems pretty fuck you.
>One day meet one of the cleaners. She's a big fat bitch with a massive underbite, complete bogan.
>Some many months later, meet her companion. Also bogan, but body of a goddess.
>Companion, this is anon
>Hello companion nice to meet you
>Yeah, whatever.
>Nothing eventuates. Even companion of bogan is not so interested.
>Fast forward a few months.
>Chat to bogan and companion quite regularly on and off whenever I bump into them.
>Start sitting down and having coffees with them. Nothing unordinary, just chatting about work related crap as people who work in the same building do.
>One day walking past cafe, see bogan and companion in there, companion is motioning for me to come inside.
>feelingcheeky.jpg
>Go up to companion and start tapping on my cheek while she's talking at me
>Realises she's being interrupted and is all
>Whaddya you want?
>"Well come on, give us a kiss"
>She sighs, gives me a kiss on the cheek, then asks "Do you know anybody who can get $800 back off a guy for me?
>"Yeah I do, but it will cost more than $800 to hire them."
>Wink and walk away.
>From this moment on, I noticed a subtle shift in her attitude towards me.
Cont.
>>674460377
>companion is talking to me a little bit more smiley each time.
>companion starts coming up and giving me hugs every time she sees me.
>Inforthewin.mov
>This goes on little bit by little bit for a couple of months, continuously either interrupted by work colleagues, who could catch us not working, or interrupted by bogan.
>It gets to the point where bogan pulls me aside one day.
>"What's your intentions with companion?"
>"What?
>"Yew heard me! What's your intentions with companion?"
>Give her a cheeky bastard grin
>"Don't know what you're fuckin' talkin' about" and wink
>She gives a sly grin and says "Ahhh yeah... Well I reckon you're in like flynn"
>Ball emptying confirmed.
>Try to figure out a way to get her alone.
>Find plant room on top level of building never knew was there before.
>Has amazing view across whole city through louvres.
>Bogan decides that I need to be more forward with companion.
>Be more forward with companion, companion keeps backing off, too shy.
>Bogan decides she needs to concoct a master plan with me.
>We all travel up to the top plant room to "have a look"
Cont.
>>674460428
>Get to top plant room, showing both girls the view.
>Start edging closer to companion, companion this time not edging away.
>Keep making conversation as if nothing is happening. Run hand up back of companion.
>Move hand under back of jumper and start lightly running my nails on the bare skin of her back.
>She'slovingit.avi
>Continue chatting, getting a bit hotter and hotter.
>Start running hands up and down hips
>She is wearing shorts, no fabric
>Start running hands along thighs
>Kissing neck, chewing on shoulder.
>All while having convo while bogan is peering out at the scenery.
>Unfortunate situation.
>Bogan knows exactly what's going on.
>Bogan refuses to leave.
>Start making hints at bogan.
>Bogan pretends not to understand hints.
>Then bogan starts wandering around plant room, inspecting it.
>Finds empty room.
>Ah.... You guys can go for it in here!
>We look at each other.
>Yougottabefuckingkiddingme.jpg
>Bogan returns to looking out at view.
>"You guys go do what you gotta do, I'll just wait here."
>Yougottabefuckingkiddingme.fuckoff
>We give each other a frustrated look, and just continue subtly touching each other.
>We know bogan isn't moving, but we're not doing shit until she leaves.
>We both know she wants to get a voyeuristic kick out of walking in on us half way through a fuck.
>We also know this would be huge turnoff.
>But fat bitch won't budge.
cont.
>>674460564
>Getting to the point now where we're both feeling that subtle shift from sexual frustration to near on boredom.
>Companion sighs loudly
>Bogan turns to both of us and says "I don't know what you guys are still doing here, why don't you just go for it?"
>Alpha male time, blunt as fuck.
>"Because we're waiting for you to fucking leave".
>Bogan has +10 defences
>"Don't worry about me, you just go do your thing and I'll stay right here, don't worry, I won't interrupt"
>Ohffs.winpac
>"Well look, we're not doing anything while you're here, so how about we all fuck off.
>Open door to plant room, start to leave.
>Bogan finally gets hint
>Nope! Nope! Don't worry, I'll go!
>If you wanted me to leave you should have just fucking said so!
>MFW I fucking did.
>Whatever.
>She finally gets out of the fucking plant room.
>Just me and companion left over.
>Move closer towards her, she's getting all shy and pushawayish again.
>Can'tbefuckedwiththisbullshitanymore.gif
>Drag her to fucking room and just start making out with her and stripping her off.
>Nothing in plant room but cold concrete and a fucking bench.
>"Get on the bench".
>"Wow... pushy"
>"Shut up and get on the fucking bench would ya?"
>"Alright... Alright.. Geez".
>Sit her on the bench, push my cock into her.
>Fucking hard.
>And I mean hard.
>That body was amazing, she had the tightest little clam, and I was giving it hell.
>"Hang on anon, my arse is hurting"
>Skinny girl, fair enough
>She lays back on the bench. "That's better"
>Not for fucking me it's not
>5'5 fucking manlet.
>Can't reach.
>Drag up a cinder block, stand on it, still can't reach.
>Flip it up on it's side, can now reach.
>Pound that fucking cunt until she orgasms.
>Blow like a fucking cannon.
The first but certainly not the last time we fucked at that place. She used to visit regularly in fact. ;)
>>674460239
Not so much.
What gets me is when they're all "You're rolling in shit all day".
In fact, maintenance plumbers are the only ones who deal with shit, and it's less often than you'd think.
Every other plumber is either in a ceiling space, on a roof, under a house or in a trench.
They literally believe that all plumbers do is deal with shit. It's weird.
And even when you tell them "You know gas plumbers don't deal with shit right? Or roofers" they still have a hard time understanding that.
>>674459777
>>674460008
>>674460155
LMAO that was worth the read. Thanks anon.
>>674460865
You are welcome, brave anon.
Thanks for the tits. :D
Where is the princess?
