Stupid things you did as a kid
>be 8
>middle of summer
>playing hide and seek with friend
>my turn to hide
>choose nearby rain gutter and jump in
>duck down and try to stifle laughter as my buddy passes my spot
>suddenly legs are on fire
>realize i jumped into a fire ant hill and my legs are completely swarming
>don't want to make noise and be caught
>tears running down my face
>friend gives up after 2 minutes
>i run home and my mom hoses the ants off me
>>674437537
>be 4
>mom runs preschool
>two neighbor girls stay an hour or so after school
>start playing doctor
>start playing house
>each girl takes turns being the mom and the kid
>figure out that my dick goes in their pussy
>continues till I'm 8
>sunday school teacher starts talking about how sex is evil
>tell girls we can't play house any more
>stupid fucking idea
>both turned out hot as fuck
>could have been fucking them both til I left for college
>be 13
>riding bike on a rail with lots of gravel
>see an rock that looks like a natural ramp
>speed up and get some good air
>land on gravel and skid out
>go down hard
>bottom of my chin goes across another rock sticking slightly out of the trail and leaves a huge gash
>get up and don't notice wound right away until my white shirt starts staining crimson
>stick finger into wound and feel bone
>plug my chin wound with my shirt
>start freaking out and leave bike on the trail and walk to a nearby house
>old lady answers the door and i ask if i can use her phone to call parents
>she denies but then i pull my shirt out of chin hole and she freaks the fuck out and lets me in
>call parents
>dad is more concerned about the bike that i left behind
>mom comes and takes me to hospital and i get stiches
>
>Be me 10 year old Sandnigger
>Playing with this white kid after school in the snow
>I find huge piece of ice >
>thinking.jpg
>I chuck it at white kids face
>Lulz ensue
>Kid is knocked out cold
>See pool of blood
>I fucking bolt
>I see white kids sister show up and start freaking out
>Kid goes to hospital
>I hit him and so hard he completely forgot who hit him in the face
>He comes back a week later
>We are still friends to this day
>>674439953
kek
>>674439953
The Men in black should start using your memory wipe tech. Has got to be much cheaper than those flashing cigars.
>>674440633
10 year old me would've loved that.
>>674437537
ur mum
>>674438073
>dick goes in their pussy
ok bud, must've been a huge stiffy you were rocking
>>674441337
checked
> Be 8 get a umbrella
> Climb onto the garage roof
> I jump off think the umbrella
> will work like a parachute.
> It didn't, so I got a 32 gal garbage bag
> Climbed garage roof again.
> That didn't work either.
>be 12
>Halloween is fast approaching
>decide I'll be Frankenstien's Monster
>dad decides to help by gluing about an extra foot of wood to my old shoes to give me more height
>a wrong turn will literally destroy my ankles
>Halloween night
>got a thick rubber mask on and super shoes
>can't see shit and can barely walk but fuck it candy is pouring in cause my costume rocks
>after about 30 houses my candy bag is getting really heavy and making me offbalance
>31st house has stairs
>fuck
>make it up the steps and get candy
>turn around fast and candy bag swings infront of me and i lose balance
>face dive down the stairs and get knocked out for 10 minutes
>wake up and all my candy is gone
>can't get up and can't breathe in my mask
>had to wait for someone to help me up and i went home sans candy and bruised ankles and face
>>674439953
you asshole, I knew it was you this whole time
>be me 6th grade.
>didnt know what a boner was.
>gymclassoneday.jpg
>in locker room.
>announce to whole locker room i have a boner
>niggayouwat.gif
>tfw kids are asking if your gay.
>>674437537
>Touching each others dick, did it with people till my 14th. Not gay toh
>be me
>around kindergarten age
>play with a cash register in kindergarten
>wild thought appears in my mind
>i should cut the wire
>genius.jpeg
>grab scissors
>cut the wire
>sparks shower from the wire
>didn't get any injuries
>the whole building blacked out though
>>674437537
Great thread
>be 10
>a couple friends and I are riding bikes
>too cool to ride around in the neighborhood so we ride the main roads
>we start hardcore trying to BMX and race, you know gay little kid shit
>friend takes a yu-gi-oh card and places it on his back tire rim where it sounds like a motorcycle
>we all do the same riding around like Harley faggots
>approach this hill and decide to race down
>friends take off before me and I'm flying down trying to catch up
>all you can hear is the ripping motor sound of the card against the rim
>suddenly look over to my left and there's a funeral going on in the distance
>realize we where probably disrupting and I stopped mid road to keep from making sound
>I see people looking at me mid crying while some others are wailing
>awkwardly yell 'sorry' in panic
>no one responds
>absent-mindedly yell 'it'll be okay' for some reason
>ride away with bike brrrrrr-ing the whole way
>>674439200
You're Dad seems to be a Asshole
>>674442562
It'll be okay
Kek
>>674442559
>while building gone black
That can't be right
>>674442562
It'll be okay. +1
>>674442562
Not entirely sure if this is stupid, especially by today's standards..
>Be me 5th grade
>This program comes to our school called "DARE"
>talks about how drugs are evil etc
>one day get to school and I see a cigarette on the ground
>turn to my friends
>"Hey guys I'm gonna get cancer"
>I put it in my mouth
>middle if the playground
>start showing kids how "edgy" I was
>teacher sees
>fuckmylife.jpg
>go to principals office
>get suspended for 3 days
>be 7
>go to a friends place to trade pogs
>enter through glass sliding door
>didn't hear him close it
>try to leave through glass sliding door
>smash it with my face
>>674437537
>be me age 7
>have friends katie and tisha
>show them my weiner
>get scared, go home and tell my mom
>get in trouble
>katie and tish's dad looks at me funny
Another story about that same family:
>be walking Budweiser, the dad's black lab in the canyon
>with my buddy stevie broadway
>get genius idea to pee on Budweiser
>do it
>realize I have no way to explain pee dog, so I give stevie all the change in my pocket to take the blame
>get away clean aw yeah
>
>be me
>be 8
>be really into the idea of making things from plywood
>be a little unsupervised for a few hours after school
>decide to make a small table so my checkers game is second to none
>hammer, nails, hand saw... it's beautiful.
>oshit, needs to be blue
>climb on top of things in garage
>reach top shelf full of spraypaint in all the colors of the rainbow
>yes. metallic blue.
>climb back down, take checkers table to side of house
>spray that table blue, motherfucker
>grandparents come home
>"wtf did you do?"
>what, nothing, why?
>stood downwind of spraypaint. am now metallic smurf.
>>674443615
I just look back at that moment and cringe so hard idk why.
>be at school
>5th grade
>my class has a retarded kid called Timmy
>As part of the Every Child is Special movement we were forced to include him in our recess games
>we are playing tag
>he's it and we all scatter
>i look behind me as i run and see a glimmer of thought in his eyes
>tard powers activate
>he targets me and tears ass across the field
>tackles me and i go down hard
>he puts his hand over my mouth and nose and i can't breathe
>out of desperation i bite the palm of his hand
>it tastes like cheetos and baby powder
>he lets out an apelike screech and runs to the nearest teacher
>i get in trouble for his actions
>fuck Every Child is Special
Ｇ⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧ｌ⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧ｉ⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧ｔ⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧ｃ⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧ｈ⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧ｒ⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧
what color are these sqaures?
>>674445246
The color of faggotry
>>674445246
Kool Air color
>>674445246
Nigger color
>>674444850
It's probably because you empathized with them ,
It's one of the many fleets positive interactions we used to have with the world
I actually think it was a very decent thing to do, with sincerity.
>>674443677
lol, i remember DARE, they had some fuck-face puppet called DOSO the Dolphin{at least at my school} I could barely hold my laughter the entire time.
>>674445891
*fleeting
>>674445911
Also, that feel when your folks blazed erry day, you get the second hand smoke and cannot imagine what the fuck was so bad about weed that a pig rolls in with the DARE shit to show you and your classmates how fucking bad it is, and still not convince you. I would have been more scared of meth before and afters and alcohol related PSA's with footage of drunken dis-orderlies etc.
>>674445911
I remember the shit tier after school commercials while watching g the original power rangers. They never came to my school, but those body building bible thumpers did. Those dudes from pbs/public access that preached and ripped phone books in half.
Forgot all about that shit till just now. Also that mcgruff the crime dog.
Fucking 90s
>be 11
>schoolastic visits school and has us sell candy bars around the town to afford books
>come up with brilliant idea
>go for a long walk with the box of chocolate
>everyso often hide a bar somewhere outside and make note of it
>punch self in eye
>come home and say i got robbed of my book candy
>parents pay for the lost bars and i get Goosebumps books
>a few days later go find all the hidden bars and chow down
>be me 11 with friend
>want to get liquid resin from tree
>use lighter to let it flow into bottle
>tree starts burning
>run away but caught because it was near a fucking hospital
>pay 45 bucks because firefighter has to come
>nothing else happens because tree should have been ripped of anyways
>>674445911
>>674443677
Fucking dare.
They had some knockoff come to our ghetto ass elementary school.
Hey kiddos how much does someone you know smoke per day?
Pack a day?
So that's what 4 bucks?
Long math problem showing how much is wasted day/week/month/year.
4x 365 =1460
Divide by our what is that in nigger curency of $100 = new pair of Jordans
You could get 14 pairs of Jordans a year if you don't smoke!
Nigger jaws hit the floor.
They then mixed up a bunch of random store bought chemicals that happen to be in cigs and wafted it through the class.
You wouldn't smoke fingernail polish etc etc etc.
Turns out the "dare" sticker on my mom's car from when the legit program came through for my sisters class, kept my neighbor and I from smoking mad dro together. Sad times.
>smother my little 8yo cock with silly putty
>feels pretty good
>but very sticky
>can't remove it
>brother is worried
>he tells my mom
>mom or doctor?
>mom peels it off
>>674442102
French fag detected
>>674437537
>be me, 6
>decided that my toy car was Super Electric Tesla Car
>connected cables to 220V
>SBLAMP!!!.jpg
>my sister ran to scold me "whadda ya doin!!! did you become an instant nigga?!?"
>told her I only shouted "hey, it works!"
>she replied "I heard a YOWTCH!!"
>Super Electric Tesla Car lightly burnt
>instantly decided to change the name to Super Jumper Teslumper Carlumper
>be 12
>walking my dog on a nature trail
>decide i don't want to walk my dog anymore
>tie dog up to tree and go see my buddy
>was only planning on being gone for maybe half an hour but was gone for 4 hours
>went and unchained my dog from the tree
>head home
>parents had called the cops because they thought i was abducted or some shit
>not allowed to walk the dog again
>awesome.jpg
>be 7
>for whatever reason my mother always leaves the bathroom door open when shes taking a shit
>one night, really have to go to the washroom
>don't know she's in the washroom
>pokes my head in the doorway, see her fat blubbery ass
>she sees me and throws a roll of toilet paper at me
>"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU FUCKING PIG"
>still feel bad about it
>be me
>unsure if I remember how greentext works.
>>674437537
>Be 7-8
>Always work on cars with dad
>One day one of his friends needs to work on their car at our place for some reason
>Next day in the garage getting done doing w/e
>Clean hands with hand clearer then go to wipe them off with "clean" rag
>Rag I pick up is covered in battery acid from dads friend
>After couple seconds hands start to burn and turn red
>Run to house in extreme pain to wash hands
>Good times, yo!
>>674437537
>be me, 12, random biking
>ignore "Road Closed" sign
>ground becomes softier, slow down
>more soft mud, decide to go on slowly, it's only 200 meters to paved road
>wheel is going down in the mud, decide to acceerate to exit quickly
>in mud up to knees
>200 meters traversing mud on foot
>left at least 2km mud traces while cycling again towards home
>>674443677
I remember DARE. They had some stupid cunt called Piggy from real world or road rules or some gay shit like that come to my middle school to talk about smoking. I couldn't control myself from oinking and squealing out loud and shouting out SOOOIE!!! Had to go to the principal and get detention but after the stupid assembly me and few of my buds cut class and smoked cigarettes and made fun of how gay the assembly was.
>be 11
>is winter
>climb random house because fuck it
>slip on ice because obviously
>hanging off edge like a weak shit
>look down
>fence with spikes almost directly below
>start losing my grip and fall
>close eyes accept death
>land in snow bank
>likeaglove.gif
>be 5
>mom leaves hot iron on board
>burn iron shapes into all the cushions
>be 7
>not understand what hitchhiking is
>wake up at mom's friend's house
>leave house and walk to nearby freeway
>do hitchiking gesture in my footies
>say "this way to disneyland" at cars
How did I never get raped as a kid.
>>674447665
That's not stupid at all. That's brilliant.
>>674442562
Hey, at least you tried to be respectful man
Was 13 years old, curious about what naked girls were like, but I wasn't really curious about older women but more so kids my age. So I go into google and try to search but nothing shows up, so I kept trying over and over till I eventually gave up. I'm pretty lucky that nothing came of it other than my mom paddling me something fierce.
>>674450293
Your mum's a cunt m8
>be 7
>go to apartment complex down the street
>walk in laundry room
>throw dry leaves in dryer with clothes in it
>super calls cops on me
>i run home where my aunt is babysitting
>she tells me to hide
>turns out she knew the cop
>everything went better than expected
>be 4
>take keys to mom's truck
>turn truck on
>slide down the seat and o to the floor so I can press the pedals
>crash truck into closed garage door
used to slap dicks with my little bro and we'd piss in the toilet and cross streams and pretend we were niagra falls. me being the oldest i would pretend to be the canadian side since it is bigger. damm childhood is fucked up sometimes
>Be 5
>Open fridge one morning and take an egg
>Put it in my pocket
>Dunno what I intended to do with it
>Sat in class
>Egg breaks in pocket
>Had to change into my gym shorts
To this day I had no fucking idea why I did it
Always thought "obligatory" meant optional until like 14.
I missed a lot of things.
>be 6
>washing hands in bathroom
>plug nightlight back in with wet hands
>get shocked accidentally knocking light out
>plug light in half way
>electrocute self multiple times intentionally
>Be me, 13 at the time
>Stupid as fuck, and thought I was invincible
>Riding my bike in an alley
>Decide to drift a corner, but gravel gets in the way
>Fall off bike, split hole in my lip
>Retarded me calls my mom telling her I split my lip
>shirt is held up so she doesn't notice
>She finally notices and we go to the hospital.
>TFW too many niggers so I have to wait 2 hours with a hole in my lip
>Finally get back to a room
>Get IV morphine and feel fucked up all night.
So, that's my story. Pic proof from 2 months later is above.
>>674450293
>"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU FUCKING PIG"
what a loving, caring parent.
>Be 9
>Dumb as every 9 year old
>Have a toy with a parachute, you threw it up and the thing went down smooth as fuck
>Have idea
>Attach rock to parachute
>Throw it up
>Thing goes down as fast as it went up
>Lands right on my fucking face
>Broke nose and gave me a black eye
>be me, 17
>no tendies
>mfw
>>674452783
>>electrocute self multiple times
mfw EST recipients don't understand the difference between electroshock and electrocute
>>674437537
>be me, probably about 10
>go to local triple-a baseball team game
>me and friend bored with watching
>go to the far outfield seats,
>there's a green patch of grass between left and right field nosebleed seats
>litle play house, etc...
>lots of kids playing there
>decide to play football with friend
>use one of his shoes as the football
>get the bright idea to punt the "football"
>end up kicking shoe into the outfield
>ohshitnigger.jpg
>go run into the slide to hide from people that noticed
>friend half laughing half concerned/pissed
>have to wait till someone noticed
>outfielder eventually runs over and picks up the shoe
>tosses it back
>lots of people laughing all around
holy shit im visibly cringing right now thinking about it.
>>674453130
Stfu jake
>>674453154
electrocute = death by shock
electroshock = non fatal
lel people still dont understand?
>Be 12
>In group home
>New Year's Eve
>Hot 16-year-old asks me who I'm kissing at midnight with a smirk and walks away.
>holyshit.jpg
>Get tired.
>Tell staff member to wake me up before midnight.
>Fucker doesn't wake me up.
>Hate myself for life.
>raped the shit out of an indian boy at the bus stop after school
>no penetration but i rode him like i was breaking a horse
>his older sister confronts me about it
>repeat step 1 with his sister
>she cries to her dad
>dad is a lawyer
>they sue the shit out of my family
>>674442559
Weird shit can happen with dead shorts. I saw a kid stick a paperclip in an outlet at my elementary school and it blew the transformer on the pole... ...and caught the wall on fire. Best part is, the kid didn't get caught by the substitute teacher, and nobody ratted him out.
>Be me, 14 y/o in 8th grade
>Kid Josh picks on me constantly
>Get tired of his shit, challenge him to fisticuffs
>He accepts
>I've never fought in my fucking life
>He whips my ass pretty bad (though I broke his hand on my head)
>Walk home feeling pretty beta
>Two girls who saw the fight told me I was brave for standing up to him
>Invite me to their place
>So downtrodden by my defeat, I didn't even realize they might've wanted the D
>Walked home alone
>>674454044
poo in loo won
>>674453464
They seem synonymous and almost never come up.
>>674452473
Oh shit
I also used to pee with my little brother. Sometimes our mom was watching. Now that I think about it...
>>674437537
> Be 12, friends 15 year old sister yo try sex, tell
> her to get bent, she and her friend undresses
> me and wants to fuck - i think they are to to
> tickly aspecially in the middle region and
> tells them to get bent, leaves and play
> baseboll (or brännboll as it is called up here).
Now i regret the whole thing, two birds ready to fuck and i passed :D.
>>674454523
now you know
now quick using them interchangeably like a 3yo that knows fuck all about what words mean
>>674437537
>be 5
>attend kindergarten
>sitting at lunch table with friends
>right next to hispanic friend thats older than me because failed 2 grades
>lets call him paco
>paco yells out
>"i dare you to show me your weenie anon"
>challengeaccepted.jpg
>"oki"
>*unzips dick*
>smile
>girls look under table
>5 year old girls find out guys have dicks
>get sent to principals office
>paco is there too
>principal asks what happened
>start crying
>turns out rice bitch ratted me out
>paco makes lame ass excuse that he meant my jacket
>totalbullshit.exe
>decide im making this fucker go down with me
>accuse a bunch of shit, mainly that paco touched me in the area alot
>principal totally believes it
>paco gets expelled
>i walk free
>end up causing the school to have to add a disciplinary rule where the person who dares someone to do something gets in trouble too
>>674455179
>Be 12
>friends 15 year old sister yo try sex
>tell her to get bent
>she and her friend undresses me and wants to fuck
>i think they are to to tickly aspecially in the middle region and tells them to get bent
>leaves and play baseboll (or brännboll as it is called up here).
learn to fucking greentext
>>674455179
Niece englesh
>>674455265
I will, once you stop typing as a 3-year-old would.
You ironic fucktard.
>>674455765
>>674453230
What AAA team?
>>674441875
I also am guilty of this plus trying to fly while holding goose feathers
>>674456121
Picture response.
Victory achieved. gg kiddo stay in school
>>674442562
"It'll be okay"
>>674456319
red hawks
>>674456485
>Picture response.
>complaining about picture responses on an image board
>>674452830
you got a purdy mouth...
>>674444946
hahahah he tried to kill you
>be five
>have dream I can fly
>immediately get out of bed, jump off porch and spread arms
>get rekt
>grandfather calls me a retard while I cry in pain
>>674437537
This kid is going places. Not college. But places.
>>674457146
>
Cool. I lived with the Isotopes down in Albuquerque. The way you described the stadium makes it sound similar.
>Between 5 and 10
>little school, about 200 kids
>every year there was one or two days that scout (boy scouts?) came to our school to play some games basically to recruit some untainted souls
>one of the games was, roughly translated, 'seaman can I sail past?'
>one or two people in the middle, the rest against one wall, every round they gave you an increasingly difficult or daring task and if you couldn't or didn't want to you had to run past without getting caught. Get caught and you stand in the middle too, gets really exiting once most people are in the middle and you have to get past
>last task, me and one other kid left
>every school kids is there, looking at me and the dude
>every parent is at the open gate to pick their kids up
>every teacher is watching
>task is 'lower your pants'
>other kid looks at me and runs over
>I proudly take down my pants
>still got underpants on, whities
>white undershirt
>game stops
>teacher grabs me, she angry
>try to tell her what the task was
>she doesn't wanna listen
>do it again and pull my shirt up and pants down
>she looks disgusted and walks away
>look at my bottom
>flashy white underpants and undershirt have the biggest dark yellow pissstain on them
>almost every single person I knew at the time saw it
>I was so stupid I only realized that a few years later
>>674444749
Are you literally autistic?
glossed my dad's superdream brilliant white, the whole thing from end to end, top to bottom.
around 1985/86 I think.
>be me 11, 12 or 13
>figured out masturbatio
>feels good man
>spending the night at my cousins
>I'm able to rub a few out if I pee in between sessions
>sleeping on floor in cousins room
>use his shirt as a jizz rage
>want to go again but too late to use the bathroom
>roll to my side and piss under his bed
>ready for round two
>be 7
>friend double dog dares me to piss in plant
>cant refuse a double dare, man.
>get caught mid piss by teacher
>get sent to office
>mom picks me up from office
>get the most dissapointing look from her in my life
>worth
>>674444749
Similar, only I didn't get scared like a faggot
>School is a shit European school
>Our toys are fucking old car tires
>huge stack of tires, sometimes we put a kid in it and lol at not hearing him cry
>this time I build a wall
>three girls ask to see my peepee
>get on their knees for some reason
>oddly like this
>they touch it
>one asks if piss will come out if you squeeze it
>tell her she's weird
>ten years later she's in my highschool
>she's the not dumb enough to be retarded girl but we all know she'll never make it
>she saves up old shopping carriers and does arts-and-crafts with them
>one of the other girls turned blind by age 13 and her father refused to send her to the doctor
>fucking Muslim dads
>>674444830
My fucking sides
>>674455613
Not gonna lie that was pretty fucking horrible too
>be 16
>don't have internet at home and really want to look at porn so do it at school
>think i'm totally awesome and no one knows
>doing it in computer class where everyone can see but never confronted about it
>one day principal brings me into his office
>unfolds a printout list of porn sites i've been to
>list is like 25 pages long
>i single handedly raised the red flag for the school's isp
>told to gtfo and get expelled
>>674439200
Either your dad was an a-class asshole or he worked his ass off to get you that bike and saw his overtime turned to waste by his retarded kid.
Stupidest thing I ever saw a kid do was when my friends younger brother took a run on a Slip-and-Slid while carrying four large glass Pepsi bottles. He managed to slam them together and then slid through the glass shards.
>>674456447
>plus trying to fly while holding goose feathers
>>674438073
>be 8
>could have been ducking till college
My guess is that your a dumb faggot. You could have talked to them anytime during your teens. You didn't.
>>674457210
Your granddad would fit in well here
>>674441337
Underrated L33T
>>674459190
Dad was a good guy but i was a stupid kid and we were pretty poor. yeah he was pissed that his cash went down the drain. wasn't a cheap bike either.
>>674444749
>>realize I have no way to explain pee dog, so I give stevie all the change in my pocket to take the blame
>>get away clean aw yeah
fucks sake, I nearly coughed myself to death, you fucking faggot
>be in 7th grade
>super average kid
>look like the guy from the Lego movie
>no dress code day
>mom's a designer
>tell her about it
>gives me scarf and Russian looking jacket and hat
>pic related
>everyone's complimenting me
>everyone thinks I'm a new kid
>no one even knew who I was even though it's almost the end of the school year
>be in lunch
>sitting alone because feeling 2cool4school
>10/10 southern girl without southern accent I've had a crush on since forever comes to my table
>everyone's looking at us
>asks me name and where I'm from
>say Russia and Nikolai
>asks me if I have a grillfriend
>tell her no in Russian accent
>hear her pussy do the windows 64 start up noise
>ask her the same question
>same response
>before I could ask her this landwhale of a woman plops her ass on the table
>table shakes violently like when two fat people sit in a car at the same time
>she looks at me
>asks me the same question
>tell her I don't date elephants
>10/10 and Dumbo 360 and walks away
Grew up in boston. Lots of trouble to get into. We threw rocks at bus windows, just to break them.
We would blow up mail boxes with m80s. We lit fires & would stuff them in the big mail boxes on the corner
If we saw a bum sleeping, all covered in cardboard & newspaper...we'd light the newspaper on fire & wait till he woke up & freaked out.
>>674450498
Oh wow. Sounds like you were a real badass. I'm glad I didn't run into you in middle school.
>>674441841
>...
>Be 9
>Tell friend I was sent from heaven to be his guardian angel.
>He laughs.
>Can't turn back now.
>Start following him whenever possible.
>He looks over his shoulder and notices.
>Always take my chances to ditch in an alley or behind a car before he looks back again.
>Going on field trip one day.
>Nice treelogging business.
>Follow him as he takes a detour onto a path.
>Come out from behind a tree as he's about to turn around and just stand there.
>He bursts into tears.
>"Why do -I- have to have a guardian angel? What about my mother?! She's dying of cancer! She deserves it more than I do!"
>'I was j-just joking, man...'
>Try to console him.
>be 6
>in mexico for sisters 16th birthday.
>cousins entice 7 year old and I to play house.
>start making out
>tongues everywhere
>cousins watching us from outside
>had fun kissing and grabbing
>7 year old turns out to be niece that is a year older than me.
>be 12, fuck her silly after she told me she liked me.
>be 22, she has a kid and a husband now living in texas.
>>674441875
Lol'd
>>674457458
In the US of A we call this game "Red Rover"
"Red Rover, Red Rover, can I please come over?"
"Everyone in blue shirts can come over"
If you have a blue shirt, you must try and cross, and if the caller tags you, you're out. Similar rules, not quite the same.
>>674460400
Check'd, dubs don't lie.
>be me 7 or 8
>find a Snapple bottle in laundry room
>drink it
>tastewired.jpg
>swallow it
>dad ask me what happened to the bottle
>i said i drank it 3
>he tells me it was used engine oil
>realize i fucked up
>be me
>about 10
>living in third world island full of richfags because parents think it's nice
>riding bike on my way home
>only golf cars allowed to enter the neighbourhood
>thinks it's a good idea to hold on to one and go faster
>fall down
>get scratches everywhere
>my knee gets infected
>mfw no hospital
>mfw mom has to steal medicine from mental illness center
Asked to suck the head of my neighbors penis, I did.
>>674453775
>Ask me who I'm kissing
She was making fun of you anon. Not offering to Kiss you. You didn't miss out on anything. Besides that it would have been a kiss. That's it. Big fucking deal.
>>674455567
>unzips dick
>>674442562
>"it'll Be okay"
>>674460400
Newfag has format cancer.
>>674454332
>broke his hand with my head
>he broke his hand punching me
Fixed that for ya
>>674460388
>I was just joking man
FUCK!!!
>>674460544
We played a different version where some1 would run & try to break through a line of kids... but would usually get coltheslined.. & knocked on his ass
>>674437537
my uncle did that when he was a very young. my quick thinking grandfather, jumped up as he rolled up the newspaper he was reading and smacked him off the outlet. my uncle had a mark/scar on his face for life.
>>674452783
>electrocute self multiple times intentionally
>>674437537
> be 4
> resistance, how does it work
> plugs a wire into an AC socket, almost dies
> be 19 goes to study engineering
> be 32, still hasn't finished school
pls explain my life
>>674460037
Windows 64 start up.... lmao
>>674460400
The wincest.
>>67444494 Timmeh the ape
>>674459419
good skimming skills there
>fridge and stove next to each other
>touching them both at the same time would shock you
>would spend 20-30 minutes a day doing this for years
>>674442562
>it'll be okay
This isn't something I did, just a childhood story
>be me
>be 9
>few friends and I were hanging out on the play ground at school
>this school is racially divided as fuck
>whites, blacks and whatever else don't fucking mix
>just a normal ass day, white kids doing white kid stuff
>teasing the cute girls etc
>nignogoutoffuckingnowhere.jpg
>this shit is not normal
>"give us our ball back"
>nigglet is implying that us whites took their ball
>wtf.gif
>"its not yours, go away"
>5 other nigs come over
>chinks and spics want in on the action
>theres even a fucking Romanian in there somewhere
>"we'll fight you for it, gay boys"
>friend george don't take no shit and hits one of the nigs straight in the mouth
>laughter ensues
>followed by violence
>it is now a fucking turf war
>over a fucking ball
>kids getting thrown left, right and center
>9 year old me is just stood there in awe
>just out of perimeter of the bloodbath
>teachers finally break up what felt like WW3
>mfw george and the nig he punched joined forces and blamed it on the spics
>mfw we all got off Scott free
>mfw we actually did steal the ball
Best. Day. Ever.
>>674442854
Wounds heal, niggers don't give bikes back. His dad was smart.
> be 4
> in grandma's bathtub
> push penis to base to make it look like a volcano
> pretend pelvis is tropical island
>>674460400
mexicoons, cheif proponents of incest and child rape, even worse than the mudslimes
>>674462129
Top kek
>>674460736
>he tells me it was used engine oil
top kek
>>674462129
Kek
>>674443677
DARE: Drugs Are Really Expensive.
>>674445246
partially 128,27,214 and partially 240,0,0
you cunt
>>674457458
> "Schipper, mag ik overvaren? "
>Be 8, in shitty reserve in Canada
>At a place where mulitple people live in cluding my aunt
>Me and some of my cousins are playing outside
>Sees broken outlet for charging cars
>We all stick our fingers in it one at a time to feel the shock
>Did it multiple times until we got bored and started doing somthing else
>>674455567
savage
>be 12
>grew up in a tiny village up in the mountains of northern Sweden
>Snowmobile was the only way to get around as a kid during the winter
>friend dares me to drive while facing the rear of the sled
>its on
>start driving while looking backwards at my friend
>accelerate more and more
>friend starts waving like a maniac from his sled
>I wave back
>fall off
>hear a loud crash
>look towards my sled
>it collided with a tree
>"I was trying to warn you about the tree, dumbass"
That and jumping off my garage roof onto hardpacked snow, a sure way to break both legs.
>>674449704
tbqh you a retard anon san
>>674453040
Kek
>>674449697
are you even speaking English you inglorious cunt?
>>674450377
sage
>>674450377
worth saging
>>674437537
>be 14
>i was really into porn and jerking off
>i decide to learn how to self suck
>takes me a couple tries to finally get my penis up to my mouth
>i start licking
>feels too good
>i push my head down
>glans part is in my mouth
>porn keeps on playing
>all of a sudden i hear the garage door
>my dick starts to pump
>i think to myself i can suck myself all i want but im not gonna swallow my own sperm
>try to get back to normal sitting position
>cum flies everywhere
>lands on monitor
>panic
>i hear mom coming up the stairs
>unplug my speakers
>get hoodie and wipe the cum off as fast as i can
>its freezing
>i have to put it on
>it smells
>door opens
>hi anon
>hey mom
>i got you some food on the way back home
>cool
>be me
>be 8
>parents are on vacation in germany
>me and my brother are with mah old nan
>nan = dont do shit about anything
>nan = "everything ya want for ma boyz!"
>be outside the small village we lived at in russia
>friends always told stories about a small grassfield
>told its full of snakes and lizards
>me and my bro decide to go on lizard hunt
>after 1-2h "hunting" I come up with a genius idea
>we smoke them out!
>get matches
>set the fucking field on fire
>tfw 6h later nan found us sitting on the pipes and watching about 20mx50m grassfield burning to ashes
>it was the one and only time I got beaten up by nan
>tfw when she didnt tell our parents
>tfw when I realize being older now how much fucking dmg we did and never got caught
>>674463361
sage is not a downvote you dumb cunt
fuck off back to >/reddit/
>>674442279
proof nigger
>>674462129
Why couldn't I have gone to your school?
>>674442562
11/10
>"h-hey e-every- *gulp* one"
>"uh heh. Uh it...itll b-be okay, okay?"
> rides off into sunset
>>674442562
>it'll be okay
>>674459257
Kek
>>674455179
Brennball og Baseball er ikke det samme....Jævla svenske.
>>674463103
Dum fitta
>>674464401
Förlåt ;___;
>>674438073
WOW!! a double game of house and doctor for; 4 years straight!! Amazing that has to be a record
>>674444444
Nigger
Be 12.
My best friend abandoned me to play with the other kids.
The other kids would not play with me.
I got my bbgun pistol and put a fresh CO2 cartidge in.
Loaded it.
Snuck up in the woods.
Saw kids playing.
Was very fuzzy as I had lost my glasses
I emptied my gun into the crowd.
They all ran.
I hit a first grader in the stomach
He still has a scar.
>>674461095
Red rover
>>674459147
Oh dear
>>674445911
kek I googled Doso the Dolphin and this shit comes up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYTwSf8ojH0
>>674464692
>goes on 4chan
>doesn't know how to greentext
>>674464558
Vart är hem för dig?
>>674464749
zozzle
>>674463738
sage
>>674462883
>using rgb
pleb
>>674457331
Nice meme is that original?
>be mee
>>674453130
>Being 17
>Not having tendies
Are you fucking autistic
>>674437537
>move to new neighbourhood
>3 houses in a row, 2 boys my age are my neighbours
>end up in the woods at their treehouse
>the bigger one of them gets agressive and threatens our lives if we dont undress in the treehouse
>other boy tries to fight him, gets rocked in the head
>lumbering oath standing tall at the treehouse door with pride
>i tackle him in the chest and send him over the edge
>he ends up with head trauma and never speaks again and is more retarded than ever before
>felt good man!
>>674439200
>>674442854
>>674459190
Or a fallen broken bike in the middle of a trail where no one would see it was a huge danger for anyone coming up?
>>674459147
Youre probably that one kid with the stained shirt, sweatpants, patchy facial hair, and Walmart brand shoes
>be young
>cousin asks me to do a "peepee touch"
>ew no girls are icky
>15 years later
>she is fucking BANGING
>couldve been tapping that
>regret
>girls are still icky tho
>>674465120
faggot
>>674453040
>Being this dumb at 9 years old
9 year old me would know damn well that rock was going to come down hard.
>be me 14
>little brother 12 always annoying me
>mom and bro are asleep
>want to fuck with lil bro
>drop superglue in between bros toes
>he doesn't wake up
>how will I wake him up?
>I know green tobacco sauce
>get a spoonful
>creep to bros room
>drop a spoonful of tobacco in his mouth
>bro wakes up tried to step
>bro instantly starts crying and screaming
>mom wakes up screaming and cussing
>run and climb on roof
>smoke a bowl and fall asleep
>was a good night
>>674441337
>1337
>>674451294
kek
>in seventh grade, wearing light grey shirt
>friends start throwing trash at each other at lunch, because seventh graders are idiots
>animalhouse.webm
>some kid pelts me with a piece of watermelon
>stains shirt
>is old shirt
>favorite shirt
>get hyper pissed
>rage is over 9000
>walk up to kid that threw the watermelon
>grab him by neck and squeeze
>he backhands me across the face
>wasn't the kid who threw the melon
>apologized and shook hands
>legit haven't seen him to this day
>Be 11
>Help clear out basement with landlord
>given box to throw out
>look in box
>vintage playboys
>try to hide some in pants
>dad catches me
>still embarrassed about it
>dem sexy 70's bush chicks doe
>>674466207
>2016
>being this pretentious
>be 6yo
>in my friends house chilling at night
>distracted to a hole in the wall
>put my arm into it
>there's a switch
>push it
>all the house goes black
>wtf
>friends mom starts to cry a lot
>friends older brother kick me out of their house
>rides my bike back home
>eat flam and play lego
>be me
>be second grade
>school was Catholic but accepted non-catholics
>Religion class
>non-catholics would have to go out for half an hour until the class finished
>see my classmates play in the playground
>raised my hand
>ImAMuslim.webm
>sweet! Extra recess for me!
>periodical test
>last test was religion
>non-catholics have to leave
>ohyisss.webm
>a couple of weeks later
>received my report card
>my mom asked me why religion was blank
>No idea
>freaked the fuck out
>stormed to school to confront my teacher
>teacher was confused
>aren't you Muslim? Your daughter said she's a Muslim
>my mom was embarrassed as fuck
>went home
>beat the shit out of me
>became a Catholic again
Mfw
>Be 8
>sister is like 5, bro is 9
>My dad's family lives in second story of an apartment
>Me, my younger sister, and my older brother wander into the back room
>Find stepmom's fine china from grandparents and shit
>We spend the next half hour launching the shit out the window at 12 o'clock at night
>Nearly kill some chick with one of those toy vacuum cleaners
>Police are called on us
>We've already gotten in trouble
>I'm hiding in room crying while the police are at the door
>asshole older brother tells me there are people with pitchforks and torches, inciting even more tears
>At this point everyone is pissed at us, mostly me
>Dragged outside in underwear to pick up toys and glass shards with the lady we nearly killed
My brother also killed a kitten by throwing it down the steps a few years before that.
>>674438073
Shit that never happened: The Post
>be me
>7
>was sheltered as fuck, didn't know what niggers were (black and white tv, poorfags)
>didn't know what retards were (the medium vegatables)
>go to a new school and can't wait to make new friends
>see a group of tards in the hallway playing around, tard wrestling
'Hello!'
>I walk over to the friendly tard wrestling and I play around
>they pinned me to a wall, I did the same, all was fun
>everybody was disgusted
What.rar
>tard one falls to the found and is activated
>bawling insue and tard 2 joins.
>get suspended for fighting the mentally ill
I really didn't know the difference from the tards and normal people. I was labeled as an asshole for beating up tards the whole year.
>>674442562
My fucking sides man
>>674467347
Your brother is an arse
>>674444946
kill that subhuman
>>674465130
Noko
>>674465224
Fuck off Roman
>>674467671
I know :(
>>674441337
Found the 1337 h4x00r known a 4chan. I thought that it was you all along.
>>674467056
behead those who leave Islam
>>674466424
You sound retarted
>be 8 years old
>moving with family from texas to canada
>still have a thick as fuck southern accent
>first day at new canadian school
>am told that giving the middle finger to a new teacher is customary in canada
>flip the bird
>sent home not knowing what the hell i did wrong
>be 5 years old
>visiting my aunt with a friend and my dad
>went to the playground alone
>playing soccer
>teen in trenchcoat approaches
>'' hey girls wanna see something ''
>we walk over to him
>PENIS
>''LOIS ITS HIS PENIS ''
>we run home
we decided not to tell anyone until years later but it turned out the guy was already in juvi for theft
>>674466986
>Implying I'm being pretentious
If you throw a rock in the air and smash your face at 5 that's one thing, but you should definitely have the common sense not to do that by 9 years old. Sorry you're a retard anon.
>>674467877
My mother showed me the light to Jesus after she beat the shit out of me
>>674437537
so i used to know this girl.
she'd come over sometimes while her boyfriend was away after school.

once the door would close she'd almost instantly get naked. most times she'd put on her favorite song and start sucking. then she would cry. her tears and makeup would drip down her face onto my dick. its surprising how cold tears are. eventually i finally asked her what was wrong. in between licks she told me that her favorite song was also her bfs favorite song. so even though she loved hearing it and it totally got her pussy wet, it also made her think about the fact that she was cheating on her boyfriend. i dont think i ever came harder down somebodies throat then right after she told me that. she was beautiful. we dont hang out anymore. wanna get lunch?

this was the song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tgwFpMA61c
>summer between fifth and sixth grade c.2009
>staying at dad's and his girlfriend's house
>live in small appartment complex with a shared driveway and carport
>girlfriend had a son whom I associated with while I was there
>still acquainted to this day, but whatevs
>back to summer 2k9
>girlfriend's son and I shooting at each other with nerf guns while riding on scooters
>cavalry.mpg
>suddenly, their neighbor's kid walks into the driveway with a cap gun
>kid was, shall we say, "special"
>violent Forrest Gump
>points cap gun at us
>both of us thought it was a pellet gun
>hide in doorway until his mother? aunt? or whatever calls him in
>both agree stay inside and play vidya and chess for the rest of the day
>kekd about him at last year's Christmas party
>>674467041
wtf happened tho?
>>674467718
sage
>>674468298
I opened that image right after I farted and the imagery combined with the smell made me gag, like I was smelling her and not my own fart.
>>674468039
>calling someone a retard to assert dominance on 4chan
lol
>>674468682
>>674468638
It was the general eletricity switch of the house
How would i know lol
>>674467931
>retarted
>be little adventure shit
>The sewage lake is drained so they can do maintenance
>walk out into it
>sink to my knees
>stand there crying all day
Those shoes I was wearing are still out there somewhere
>be 9
>playing show and tell with neighbor girl same age
>older brother there too but fuck it, we're seeing beef curtains spread
>neighbor girl says "I hear vacuuming you wiener makes it bigger"
>Igotsanidea.jpg
>go upstairs and proceed to hoover my dick
>nieghbor girl and bro hear vacuum and investigate
>ohshitnigger.jpg
>see me
>see vacuum
>snatched attachment from wiener
>makes a vibrating fart noise
>loose balance from shock and fall back hitting bathroom tub
>head is bleeding
>oh shit bro don't tell mom!
>do brothers chores for 2 weeks
>>674454332
You've never seen someone headbutt a fist, I take it?
>>674467942
KEK I but they got you to do a bunch more stupid shit before you caught on eh? Americans are so unbelievably gullible!
>be 4
>walking in the middle of the Los Angeles river
>is probably the most polluted waterway on the West Coast
>also shallowest waterway in US
>moss everywhere
>slip and fall
>smell like rotting vegetation and industrial waste for rest of day.
>drive out to middle of the New Mexico desert
>half-tank
>out of gas
>>674469674
He was 8 you unbelieveable moron
>Jealous Europoor detected
Kil yourself, hater
>>674452764
10/10 true Gold
>>674439953
similar story
>playing zombies with friends
>i am a zombie
>tryin to eat ppl
>my best friend at the time finds a chunk of ice on the ground
>it has sharp jagged edges
>decides to throw at me
>he said after that he meant to throw OVER me
>hits me fucking right between the eyes
>I flip shit and kick his nuts probably 20+ times
>blood dripping down face
>he ran home crying
>i still have a scar between my eyes
>be me
>first name chris
>have a tv show on nbc
>set up pedos and try to find out why they're here
>one day
>guy comes to house naked
>eating cookies and spilling spaghetti all over himself
>mfw disgunbgud
>tell him to take a seat right over there
>"why are you here?"
>tells me she wanted to talk about sports and stuff
>ask him why he brought the bottle of vodka
>oh thats just cuz i get nervous
>"and the case of yeungling?"
>"i get REALLY nervous"
cont.?
>>674442854
*You're
>You are dad?
>>674463536
>no thanks, I've already eaten.
>yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh
>>674471126
Cont faggot
I must know the end of this OC
>>674470368
Exactly what I was looking for thanks m8
>Gullible Amerifag detected
>>674471374
>>674445246
>Faggot colored. Just like you.
>GTFO!
>>674470133
Did you survive!?
>>674463536
You?
>>674463103
>That and jumping off my garage roof onto hardpacked snow, a sure way to break both legs.
did you break one or moar legs?
>>674471219
niggah, Ai's ain't no niggahs fathah
This one time my school(scottish school) was doing our annual Christmas panto thingy. I was about 7/8 and our class was sitting at the front where everyone could see us. Decided to have a cheeky wank under my shirt in front of about 300+ people. Don't know if anyone even noticed but damn i was going pretty hard so someone must have
>>674471386
sorry the creativity train left the station.
>>674451834
kek. I did the same shit and downloaded lots of kiddie porn from kazaa when I was a little shit. Thank god somehow I got away with it.
>>674446756
Drunk and disorderly
Ftfy
>>674467056
anudder coughing fit, bitch
I'll sue if one of yo ufuckers kills me
>>674472578
>ftfy
what does that mean, even?
>>674472578
No man you don't understand. A bunch of nurses got drunk and started to insult people. Drunken Dis-orderlies.
>>674471945
>Be me
>15
>entering school like any other day
>talking to my friends about captain planet and shit
>shit was cash money
>next thing I know 2 guys walk in
>one holding a bag
>other holding a gun
>ohshit.jpg
>fuck my friends, I need my life
>take the fuck off out of the cafeteria
>head to library as said guys start unleashing their fury in cafeteria
>duck under table in library
>girl looks at me with fear in her eyes
>hear gun shots getting closer as I see people running
>get up and try taking off again
>shot in the fucking leg and hit head hard against floor
>knocked out
>wake up
>Columbine High School
>Be me
>10
>Poorfag
>Bored af
>Fucking around with a fork
>About to stick it in an outlet
>Knows fully well what would happen
>Mom sees, slaps hand away
>Anon!
>Just take a nap
>>674472291
>tfw you realize your dad is in prison because you downloaded cp
when I was like 12 i built a tower in the woods. this happened to me. one of the support beams i was standing on popped loose and i fell down the middle of it. i hit the ground on my side. i couldn't get up, so i puked and then dragged myself home through the woods. doc said it was a miracle i didn't shatter my pelvis. had blunt force trauma all around my hips though. hurt to walk for a long time and i had diarrhea for like a week.
the luckiest thing really was i didn't get impaled on all the sharp and thin stumps underneath from all the saplings i cut down to build the tower.
>>674442562
>'it'll be okay'
goddammit that's hilarious
>>674468298
Nice copy pasta
>>674464843
>not quite sure how to green text too fgt
>>674472922
thank you
>be me
>be 8
>third grade
>last weekend was at my dad's
>watched a r movie
>finds out from movie that the middle finger means "fuck you"
>draw it in the middle of class
>no one notices
>solidsnake.jpg
>go home
>mom checks backpack
>"Anon what is this?"
>fuck
>its the picture
>mom whoops the shit out of me
>never tell her how i found out
>solid snake.jpg
>>674473915
For what anon? Getting shot and living to tell the tell? Ditching my friends to know that they each died? Yolo right?
>>674460037
>hear her pussy do the windows 64 start up noise
Lost
>be me at my dad's house
>he tells us he started using apple Cider vinegar as anti persperant(did weird Shit like this constantly)
>I take it upon myself to add stuff to the bottle in the bathroom
>I add rubbing alcohol, shaving cream, anything I can get my hands on
>save best for last, my piss
>this continues 2 weeks
>when we asked him, he mumbled something and never used it again
here you go, anon. sorry i couldn't deliver on the chris hansen story..
>be me
>12ish
>playing jet set radio future on xbox
>mom chilling on couch next to me
note that she is a very buxom woman
>she falls asleep
>lightbulb.gif
>never touched a breast before
>decide now is the time
>and what better tits to grasp?
>begin creeping my way towards her
>dunno how "asleep" she is
>moving like a fucking turtle
>the kind of movement where you hold your breath so the opposition can't hear you breathing
>finally make my way to the foot of the couch
>oshitnigger.jpg
>raise my hand slowly
>reach forward until my hand is just hovering slightly over her heaving white breast
>suddenly she jostles to the side
>OHFUCKTHISSHITNIGGER.jpg
>go back to playing vidya
>still wish i would have gone for it
>she's had breast surgery since then
>it's just not the same
>mfw
>>674474164
>>674472694
Another one just for you
>grew up in a third world shithole
>didn't know kikes were real people
>thought they were just fictional Bible characters
>I thought, Hitler was just some madman who liked to kill people for shits and giggles
>started dating a transnigger
>reggae and dreadlocks and weedlmao guy
>started listening to matisyahu
>I thought he was wearing black because that's just his style
>fast forward
>moved to Toronto
>still on reggae phase
>mom and I went to a drug store
>kike area
>saw matisyahu
>star struck
>mom was confused as fuck
>givemeapenandpaperineedhisautograph.webm
>mom asked me to turn around
>saw another matisyahu
>I got really confused
MFW I almost asked an old orthodox kike for an autograph
not a "kid" story, but painful:
>be me, working rides at a boardwalk for summer job
>hot as fuck latina puerto rican chick 10/10 comes on my ride
>10pm at night by this time, after going on the ride she asks me if I wanna hang out with her after I get off, says she's going back to puerto rico the next day so she's obviously trying to have one last bit of fun
>tell her I have a girlfriend, and I can't do it (thought my gf was actually going to be around later but turns out she wasn't)
>hate myself for the next ten years for not slamming it that night
>>674474617
kek
>>674474683
dude...
>>674472922
they started shooting from outside tho not in the cafeteria ;0
>>674452384
Yes. Because you were strong enough to put it in gear. Do you know how a car works?
>me, 8 on the front row in school assembly
>hole in trousers
>slip dick out whilst still in underwear
>tiny dick wiggling around through hole
>me and friend pissing ourselves literally a few feet away from guy lecturing about some bull
>>674474683
wow almost this exact thing happened to me once with a cute little italian dude that looked like pic related except i banged the shit out of him till 5am
>>674445246
Don't eat the brown LSD.
>>674442102
LOL
>>674449697
God fucking damnit what the fuck did I just read.
>>674439200
>>dad is more concerned about the bike that i left behind
This should be a greentext story on it's own. Dad's...
>>674475202
>what is an automatic transmission
>>674475477
and then i read it because of your reaction. WE HAVE TO BREAK THE CHAIN ANON!!!
>>>674474944
If I could go back I would have just fucking grabbed her that moment and taken her to the beach. fuck the job.
>>674442102
what kind of fucking mexican steals an injured kid's candy like that?
some i assume are good people
How do I green text?
>>674475751
>how do you?
>>674455179
>gurls want de benis in vagoo :DDD
>"lel fugg ovv, I wan do pley sbølgėnbêll
>fugging pirds :DDDD
>>674475089
LOOK MAN! JUST KNOW I WAS IN THE FUCKING CAFETERIA!!!!! :( SHIT HURTS MAN!
>>674437537
>be 4 years old
>rented Elmo in Grouchland from the library
>fuck yeah.png
>wanted to make a grand entrance into the library
>wanted to jump towards my dad's recliner and jump epically into the chair
>run into said recliner
>bust my forehead open
>blood everywhere
>tfw i may have been responsible for being mentally fucked up later in life
>>674475751
>i, too would like to know how this greentexting thing works
>>674472922
>its just a prank bro
>>674476088
>I know...shit was so funny I couldn't stop crying
>>674474617
whats a matisyahoo fello andisemid xddd
>>674451738
You were an ugly kid
>>674476491
Reggae singer
>>674460137
Fuck you were one of those kids? I'm guessing you lived in Southie (or Roxbury if nigger)
>>674468813
>crying because the power was turned off
wot?
>Be me (in case you didn't know)
>any where between ages of 1-4
>anytime I got angry
>go hulk
>veins in my forehead, and runny nose cause of cats
>Get down on hands and knees
>Smack head on ground until I stop myself
Last time I did it
>be me (who else?)
>4 or 5
>at meemaws
>"May I have a cookie please meemaw?"
>"No, supper will be done in 5 minu-"
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
hulkengage.winzip
>Get down on knees
>"AHHHHHHHHHHHH'
>smack head on ground once
mfw solid rock tiles
>>674476865
he looks like a shit
>>674460137
>yfw
>>674468682
oh god yes
> be 6
> jumping on parents bed
> tried to do a roll mid air
> land on bed knees first and instinctively kick out
> launch myself towards bedside table
> bust head open and leaking blood like a dribbling volcano
>>674477057
Typical orthodox. I thought it was just his style.
>>674447873
Nigger please
>>674460544
Where I live the name of the game would be translated to "Who fears the black man?"
First a kid would shout: Who fears the black man?
All of the kids answer: Nobody
He asks: And what if he comes?
They answer: Then we run
and they run to the other side while he tries to catch them. Everyone who gets caught joins him, holding hands and catching the kids in the next round.
>>674476865
Hebe's one of the good ones.
>>674477550
>>674477582
I was just listening to him because my ex was a transnigger
>>674449697
>>674475751
>not just googling this shit
>>674453154
>>674453464
>electric shock
Transmission of electricity through the body strongly enough to be felt
>electrocution
Transmission of electricity through the body strongly enough to injure or kill
>electroshock
Obsolete term for electroconvulsive therapy
Of course, if you really want to be pedantic, electrocution was coined only to refer to execution by electricity, not any type of accidental shocking.
![grinning-boy-15845477[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ZlZxwIb.jpg "grinning-boy-15845477[1].jpg")
>Be the 7 y/o me.
>Walking home form elementary school with friends in our small town, at that time along the main street.
>Friends find small palstic parts (from some broken device) on the pavement, and decided to throw them on the street to see what happens when a car runs over it.
>I hesistated a bit.
>Later we threw even bigger parts on the street and infront of cars so they get run over and destroyed.
>Nothing happened to this point, no one even noticed.
>Then, 7 y/o me finds a nice large stone on the side in the grass
>Brain decided it would be a good idea to throw that one the strret
>7 y/o throws that one on the street
>Hits directly infront of a fast SUVs tire,
>Stone get's caapulted up into teh air behind that car
>Stone crashs into car's windscreen, get's a wide crack
>Stone get's flinged up again and hits another cars roof, major dent
>Run home as fast as possible with everyone involved
>No one saw us, no onw knew us
>Suddenly the two damaged cars and police stood in front of our house
>MFW some bitch as mother from a classmate saw us and told them my address
>MFW she's a stupid cunt
>MFW affected people went totally chill and all like "Aw, it's allright. Just don't do it again" when I started crying, but my father wouldn't stop yelled at me and insulting
>MFW the people pitied me, didn't filed a charge on me (even tho police was there and stupid me admitted doing that shit) and everyone just went home
>MFW I wasn't allowed to do shit for a week straight
>>674443009
If the breaker for the classroom didn't trip in time, the main breaker for the entire building would.
>>674478310
* >Stone crashs into the next car's windscreen, get's a wide crack
>>674477496
>complaining about too much text
>takes time to post about it instead of reading
fucking why?
>>674475591
Autos still need to be put into drive gear first
>>674462078
science has proven that small electric shocks can become addictive. There are rats in cages right now shocking themselves silly.
