I literally don't know ..
what the fuck i'm doing.
No goals No passion No desires.
Just wasting my time in front of computer.
What should i do? i wanna have a purpose in my life. A reason to live my life ..
What about you anon?
P.S: I'm alcoholic
Stop wasting time on the computer, but acctually start a business or similar.
Having no friends/nothing to do can be your superpower, if you allow the time to flow into productive work, instead somehow letting it pass by
Actually i work as a cyber security analyst.
The pay is not High but at least it's decent.
Every Sunday i go to my farmhouse
which is 30 Miles away from my house to look after my farm and to pay money to labors.
I had friends but they live miles away from me.
Money isn't an issue
the issue is what should i do? That would actually bring an change to my pathetic lifestyle
My life completely feels an black and white movie.
The thing that makes you depressed is the assumption you should have a purpose. If you lived without seeking purpose you wouldn't feel empty. I have no purpose nor any feeling like I need one and I am very happy. Remove this fucking retardation that you need a purpose from your mind and you will feel a lot better.
In the end it makes no diffrence, but starting your own project and getting passionate about it gives your life a plan and sense, out of my expirience. But overall there is not much you can do except accepting your useless life and starting to enjoy it. You can always kill your selfe after you failed.
What little I know about Buddhism says many things about enjoying life; good food, loving others, having friends, just going with it. Zen likewise tells you to accept the hardships and joys. But it isn't empty nihilism in which we just waste our lives masturbating and waiting to die. There's something more, and that purpose is oft found in bringing joy to others as much as we too indulge in it. Bringing life and purpose to those less fortunate, and focusing ourselves on higher purpose.
Though still, we all die, and is there another life? I don't know. Honestly, I've clung to one thing amidst all this chatter of higher purpose; an idea proposed by Martin Heidegger. That we have no purpose in life, that we can't define any purpose. Thus, we can only give ourselves purpose; choose a goal, and pursue it wholeheartedly to the exclusion of everything else. Hate crime? Become a detective. Love sweets? Become a baker. Do your goddamned best in something that is fulfilling to you. Fuck what anyone else has to say about it. It's your life, you only get one.
To bring hate...
I feel like that oftentimes, but my hate is targeted.
I feel hate toward those who fuck with decent people. I hate violent criminals, violent drug addicts, I hate bullies and people who fuck with others for fun. I want to bring all of God's hate upon them. I want to laugh and watch them burn, screaming, unable to die in a furnace. I want to repay evil with evil.
As for the good, I wish them only peace and joy.
Guys like you wind up shooting up a place and then offing themselves. It's sad, and has no meaningful impact in the long run. Especially in America where public shootings are a regular thing. If you've got the balls to shoot up a school or church, why don't you have the balls to shoot up a crack house or a mafia meeting? I mean, you're going to kill yourself before the police arrive anyway. Why not at least go out like the Punisher, make some interesting news? "Local teen dies in a pitched shootout against Jersey crime lords, news at 11." Fuck, you'd be the first real hero on 4chan ever.