feels thread?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
feels thread?
I feel his logs
>>752734224
>>752735381
>>752735404
hope op is still here
>>752735443
>>752734224
I just got a bj from my girlfriend a few minutes ago. Feeling pretty good right now.
>>752734224
Ok, fuck it, I'm going to go "real" on /b/. Sad, right?
Not a lot of people seem to understand this concept. You can feel very alone even surrounded by people.
"Dude, don't be a bummer, just be happy"
"Stop being sad, be happy"
"I don't get it, why don't just be happy"
It's not always a fucking choice.
>>752735550
please leave the thread if you dont feel sad anon,
we dont come around shitting on your ylyl threads do we?
>>752735697
the classic thanks im cured
Ask a person who's on hard SSRIs (antidepressants) anything.
>>752735772
>hey guize post how you're feeling
>no not those feels reeeeeeeee
Fuck off to your hugbox if you're so triggered by it.
>>752735443
i am
>>752735874
Did you even fucking read it?
I'm not trigged by it. It's how I always fucking feel, so how can it trigger me?
>>752735874
im not triggered about it but the way you are expressing your happiness is an asshole way
>>752735908
happy you are still here anon,i know how it feels not to be able to find a feels thread when you need it.
You're ugly as fuck, but I'd still fuck you
- Unknown
>>752736084
this is the closest i got anon
>>752735874
>not knowing a feels thread is about depressive feelings
>being this new
>>752736329
>>752736464
>>752736637
op are you still here?
>>752736329
>not knowing there is an entire board dedicated to being a sad fuck
>>752735838
'przegryw
>>752736712
>>752736057
yeah, i'm here. misery loves company but it seems no one else is sad, so i appreciate it
>>752735697
my friend and i suffer from different forms of depression. he's the only person who understands what it feels like. everyone else just says "be happy", like it's that easy
>>752736841
Thanks anon. But I already know that I'm a loser.
>>752736854
do you think that you'll die alone anon?
not trying to insult but actually asking
>>752736854
I've lived with mild borderline my entire life, I know the feeling.
I've got a specific acquaintance that just doesn't seem to understand the chemistry behind.
He's always insisting I'm choosing to be like this.
>>752737144
because i feel like i will,even though thats what i've always feared
>>752737401
You can’t watch this dying black woman and not tear up...
https://youtu.be/EJJVGasSHK0
>>752737144
Not PP, but what does "dying alone" have to do with it?
There is a good chance most of us will die alone.
Or did you perhaps mean "die feeling surrounded by loved ones"?
>>752737144
honestly, in a non-depressing way, yeah. i think in someone's final moments, there's nothing but them and their thoughts. even if they're surrounded by family, i imagine the senses go first, and everything's a black, silent nothingness.
it's not something that upsets me, i'm not afraid of dying alone
>>752737144
Yes. I think it will end like this.
>>752737577
>it's not something that upsets me, i'm not afraid of dying alone
Really, "dying alone" is rarely the problem with depression. It's "living alone".
>>752737533
>>752737577
i just want to die with her watching the stars or something like that,not dying alone means that to me.
>>752737694
it's weird. i've been single for almost two years now, but i've been fine for over a year. but maybe it's because it's wintertime. maybe it's because i'm not sure what my future's gonna be anymore. but the loneliness... it's not crippling, but like a heavy blanket
>>752737777 #
Mfw a quad 7 is found on milf loli thread
>>752737925
>i've been single
Dude, don't confuse loneliness with depression.
Don't identify yourself by just "being single" or "with a girl/boy". That's just a downhull battle.
>>752738129
sorry, i just think it was either a catalyst or a symptom
i was officially diagnosed a few years back
>>752738409
>>752734224
gosh damn it i love scrubs
>>752738409
Don't apologize, I by no means meant offense.
I am merely engaging in conversation.
You are right, it can be a catalyst.
And the worst part, at least for me, is the lack of understanding from "friends" and family. They usually think they "fix" you.
They cannot. They just need to accept it and don't let go.
>>752735838
Did anything ever work for you? I've been on everything, prescribed or not. Nothing ever made me happy. Got rid of the psychosis so I thought my life would be better, but no. Now no one talks to me.
god damn what a beatiful thread
Hey, anon, what is your definition of being happy?
For me, it's falling asleep knowing that tomorrow will be all right and I don't have to deal with kind of shit
>>752738774
Not PP, but there is one thing that worked for me; Lithium.
I cannot recommend it. You are, for all intents and purposes, a zombie.
Happy, but a zombie.
honesty sounds like something an emo would say.
My dad just died. How he fuck do I deal with this?
>>752738913
I tried lithium. I hated it. So many make you feel literally retarded, I couldn't take those ones
>>752738913
who u talkin to
>>752739137
i had a friend who lost his father,he told me that he stopped caring about literally anything after his dad
try that anon
>>752738627
i just didn't want to come off as one of those people who's like "i'm depressed because no gf", when it's much deeper than that. just one of the many things that's going on right now
i don't know if there really is any fixing it. talking helps. but a constant demand for happiness just hurts more
>>752736104
something got in my eye
>>752739231
That's alright, man. It's hard to convey tone in text, it's cool :)
Just talk, I can see through /b/ bullshit.
>>752736104
>smell of carbon monoxide
I get it now, how this pulsating mass doesn't go away.
I know you said thoughts construct reality, but I suppose I have to operate with inherent materials and within rigorous parameters.
I'm learning more, though I know this is bad.
Intuition is obtuse, if not outright terrifying.
Today it told me to flee from work, you know, to avoid becoming... that, in time for whatever may transpire.
But if I'm hell-bound already, can you really stop me from becoming even more awful?
Should I even bother resisting at this point?
This is not the life I want.
>>752739231
tfw i am
>depressed because no gf
>>752739465
nice text anon
hope you dont mind me saving
>>752738774
I've been on other SSRIs previously. They weren't as effective but they made me sleep at normal hours. After I said my psychiatrist that my old meds weren't as effective she prescribed me new ones. I'm still waiting for effects to show because I had a long break and I've just gotten back on therapy. One Interesting side effect of SSRIs is Sexual disfunction (you have problems with reaching an orgasm and sometimes you have problems with getting hard)
>>752739942
Honestly, sexual dysfunction is a small price to pay for internal calm.
>>752739942
I had that effect at first. Then less so. Now I'm not on ssris so I don't get it anymore
>>752739740
It is entirely gibberish, but only if you share it with as many people as humanly possible.
2 days.
captchas
>>752740077
hah, not sure if you're the author, but I ignored it because it read like gibberish but really didn't want to step on any toes in a feel bread :P
>>752735443
the truth
>>752740207
>tfw i dont even have someone to be with so all i do is post in feels thread
>>752739351
You could try
>>752739668
At least that guy has a nice relationship with his dad
>>752740049
>>752740055
I'm kinda happy that I've started treatment again. Although I feel like it's going to be harder to be normal again. Wish me luck. In January I'm starting my therapy in a mental hospital (5 days a week every morning for 3 months)
>>752740370
I could try what? Convey tone better in my writing?
>>752740375
>>752740180
Why say anything at all at that point?
>I saved it
>I ignore it
I'll find out eventually, like I do everything.
I feel like I missed out on everything people do during high school and college. I was too quiet and shy so I never made friends or went to a party or did anything social. Now I'm a college graduate with no happy memories or experiences to look back on, and I don't even know where I can meet people now.
>>752740390
Good luck, man.
How to be confident and assertive with girls? I've got a hard time doing just that
I'm profoundly lonely, but no one notices or cares.
Sometimes I think about the fact that it would be easier to get in a fist fight w someone than it would be to get a genuine hug.
You can buy all sorts of things and make your life nice, but I would give anything to have someone who loved me, who looked at me that way.
>>752740499
Kinda unrelated but hey
>>752736285
damn, this one actually got me out of all the other shit ive seen in these threads, fuck...
>>752740610
>How to be confident and assertive with girls?
Remove "with girls" and work on that.
Take charge of your own life.
Girls are just female people.
How are you with the male species?
Are you assertive there?
Do you act differently?
>>752740656
I'm lonely too. I have no idea where to begin to meet a girl or even a friend.
>>752740679
Yeh.
I can post a couple of things.
>>752739351
around october i laid down and just started feeling bad. i don't know why it started.
i've been in doubt about what i want to do for the rest of my life. i'm in school to be a physicist, but the truth is they're not in demand, and my school preps physics majors for academia, something i very much don't want to do. like, there's a whole class on how to teach students that i have to take. nothing science related. it's just not what i wanted to get into
my family doesn't really listen though. it's like i made my bed and now i gotta lie in it, like picking a physics major when i was 17 years old is the final decision i can make on it. not to mention that my family just shits on anything that isn't from the baby boomer or generation x times. plus my mom bought a store and she's upset whenever i'm busy and can't help with it. i try to, but the store isn't a stress i need
and most recently, i had a coffee date scheduled, but got ghosted at the last minute. i barely knew this person but with everything going on, it certainly didn't help
>>752740545
The older you get the harder it is, people pair off and have kids, get wrapped up in soccer games and other stuff they do w other couples. Even if you can make some friends without a family attached you kind of become a third wheel.
>>752740676
everything is accepted frendo
>>752740695
wish i could hug you anon
>>752735550
Leave this thread or kill yourself.
>>752740722
Well I see what you're getting at, but it is different anon. Chocking up and being unconfident
>>752740805
I cannot give you the answers. I wish I could.
But what I can tell you is, try to do what YOU want.
What options do you have? Ignore what your family want, they'll love you no matter what. Yes, they'll get pissy but so what? If whatever you choose makes YOU happy, they'll understand.
>>752740825
I'm only 23 so I feel like I'm still young enough to get involved with people. I just have no experience meeting girls or having relationships and no idea how to meet them or begin.
i'd love to hug you all
>>752740943
I get it, I read you.
But do an experiment next time you have to talk to a stranger for whatever reason.
Imagine you know them. You don't talk often, but you know each-other.
Speak to them like an equal.
See what happens.
>>752741115
Sweet of you, and I'm sure some people here would appreciate it.
>>752741115
tfw i havent got a hug ever since i was a kid
>>752741069
Swing at every ball
Get involved w something that girls do too.
Sometimes the traditional shit doesnt work for us.
>>752741039
i guess i've just gotta figure out what that is
thanks for listening, anon
>>752741324
dont give someone advices that fast anon
what if they fail?
dont you ever just look back at failures and think,
wish i never tried at all
>>752741405
You're welcome, any time.
i was just thinking,i've been planning to suicide for a while
maybe i should do it on her birthday
>>752741574
Yeah, that'll show her!
For about a week, then she'll get on with the rest of her life
>>752741574
Why does "she" have to dictate whether you live or die?
Fuck man, spit in her face and LIVE!
>>752741647
kek
im not trying to fuck her up or anything,i doubt if she would even care at all.i just dont want to die on a meaningless day.
Im new to 4chan so here's a little original never posted before green text action. Part 1. Also pic related.
>Be me 5 years old
>My mom's side of the family lives up north.
>About 4 hour drive from our house. >We don't see them often.
>My mom's little sister whom she's very close with just had a baby girl.
>"Anon we're going up for Thanksgiving this year."
>"You're going to get to see your cousin D for the first time."
>Goes up for Thanksgiving.
>Sees D for first time.
>Shes a baby.
>Think nothing of it.
>3 years later we go up for Christmas.
>Plays with D.
>Fun kid.
>Think nothing of it.
>A year after that my grandpa dies so we spend alot of time up north.
>Plays with D alot.
>Think nothing of it.
>Next 3 years we go up for Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.
>Play with D every chance I get.
>Each ride home my heart hurts.
>I think about her on ride home.
>I miss her.
>A year later.
>My aunt tells my mom she has cancer.
>4 months later.
>My aunt dies.
>I take a week out of freshmen year to go up for funeral and whatnot.
>I hold D.
>She cries.
>I cry.
>My uncle looks like a zombie.
>He was a stay at home dad, now he's back to work. Not making very much.
>I tell D I love her.
>My heart hurts.
>Ride home I think of her.
>Next day I think of her.
>I think of her entire week.
>I can't stop thinking of her.
Continued
>>752740866
i havent been hugged in years, never really thought about it, but it really fucking sucks
>>752741574
Wow bro. Chill. Plenty of fish in the sea.
trust me I've been through this shit.
>>752741764
go on
I'm down at all times.
Because I'm in a shitty spot and powerless to change it. Entirely out of my hand.
I like to convince myself it's just a little self-perpetuating lie in which I'm making myself down and could actually stop at any given time and return to normalcy just like that.
But it's not true.
>feeling anything
>not suppressing everything to the point you don't know who you are anymore
>>752741324
That's the thing. I don't know of anything to get involved in. The only clubs and groups I know of are for students only.
>>752741482
how are you, anon? what brings you here?
>>752735908
Is this GATTACA?
>>752742025
>I like to convince myself
Don't.
If you are clinically depressed, it's a chemical reaction. Don't convince yourself of anything, seek professional help.
>>752741161
I've done that at times, last time was not to long ago, I went out of my way at the uni library asking a question I already knew the answer to, just to test myself talking to a qt I didn't know
>>752742093
yes
Almost got shot recently. Probably would’ve died. It was a point blank shot.
Before that day, I’ve always been nonchalant about death. Careless even. It didn’t scare me.
Ever since, I can’t sleep. I can’t focus. I can’t stop thinking about what would have happened if I’d been shot. If I were dead.
I’m more bothered now with living than I was about dying. I don’t even know what to think.
One day at a time I suppose b
>>752742104
>professional help
i dont want to get involved with the discussion (also not the anon you replied to)
but im afraid that they will turn me into a vegetable
>>752742143
>just to test myself talking to a qt
Fuck that shit, man. Don't identify yourself with the opposite sex.
Ignore genders, just talk to people. Ignore prejudice.
>tfw I'm drinking vodka and sprite completely alone aside from the chan and my dog
This ride doesn't get better does it? I got offered heroin an hour ago but I'd have to walk 7 miles and shell out 150 dollars.
Got to read a 300 page book and write a 2500 word essay by monday night. Why am I such an utter no good procrastinating failure sack of fucking shit
>>752742192
They can't do anything without your acceptance.
Therapy DOES help a lot of people.
>>752741574
So let me tell you something. You will eventually find some one. And it could just be a close friend who you can spend time with which is alright.
But know this you wont be me, who has no emotional connections anywhere, but gets laid all the time.
I do daddy dom stuff for a lot of women and men through out my life.
Let me tell you, nothing is worse that fucking some one treating them right in public, having a great time, just to sit down at the dinner table with there family for a holiday, and see what real love looks like and knowing your just a tool. And you'll only ever be a tool, over and over, for every person you meet, and your good for one thing,
And every " relationship connection I have had, Is this way. Either i find out about the family right away, so I know what to expect, or I find out after I ruined a marriage again. Or a friend who doesnt want to be your friend when you need some one, They just want you to treat them like a pet. Come to my world and understand. But after all that, I found the perfect one for me, we fell in love, we are in love, and we have a relationship. And shes my best pet, but she also is my best friend, and if some one as useless as me can be happy so can you.
Wait for the special some one. I promise you some day it will walk infront of you and you will be loved back.
>>752742104
Can't afford it and no health insurance.
I'd love to go to a doctor just to have someone to talk to.
Holy shit, when have I sunk so low?
Nevermind. I'm never getting out of this mess.
>unemployed since july
>can't seem to find any motivation to find a job/start studying something
>don't even know what I want to study
>don't even know what I want to do with my life in general
>>752741764
Really want to read the rest of this
>>752742332
What the fuck does that mean? You can talk to any neckbeard every time of the day if you want, what do I get out of that
>>752741415
Every time you put yourself out there its a risk.
But sitting at home doing nothing isnt working.
You have to make yourself available, then reap the benefits.
Or dont.
I do know that youre not going to meet someone while youre laying on the couch playing video games and watching movies. So yiu have to try soemthing else.
>>752742459
never said anything about sex friend
i dont want a gf to have sex with
i just want to hug her and cry on her lap
It never gets better, but you have to try every day. I make a shit load of money, am married to a beautiful woman, and have more than I ever dreamed I would. Every day is hard. Every day I try to be as happy as possible. Sometimes I fail, sometimes I succeed. That's life. You just keep moving forward, try to focus on the positive, and continue to try to improve.
The important thing is, you have to try. No one will do it for you.
Happiness is a battle. Fight for it. It's worth it.
>>752742487
im in the same boat anon but my plan is just join the army so someone else can off me so i dont have to do it myself, might as well die for my country instead of being a faggot and just blowing my brains out for nothing
>>752742538
I mean whenever you talk to a stranger, for whatever reason, try to imagine you KNOW them.
Convince yourself you know this person, it's not a stranger. See how you handle the conversation.
>>752741764
Are you there anon?
>>752739137
When my dad died I did a bunch of drugs for years. Every single day I was fucked up on something. Then I started college and thought maybe I should quit. After a couple weeks in the first semester I was worse off than ever before, snorting a bump of ket in my car before class, going through the motions. I've done 35+ different drugs I've lost count, I'm not trying to dick measure just adding perspective on how fucked up I got. Heroin, meth, coke, pcp etc anything common I've probably fuckin done it. After he died financially my family was fucked, emotionally I was entirely numb because of the drugs. I'm one month sober aside from alcohol and I just want to die, but I keep going because that's what my dad would want. Currently in school again for a trade and it just has no fucking meaning to me, I can easily complete any degree I want, but I can't afford it nor am I willing to accept all that debt.
>>752742739
Will keep in mind but why are you so anti-female. I get the whole don't put them on a pedestal and it shouldn't matter. But it does doesn't it?
>>752742567
And thats why i am say. You will find some one. And It will be worth your wait. I found an actual soul mate, a connection I cant even explain, and we didn't meet through sex. We were at the bar, and it was raining, but she wouldn't accept a ride home from me because I was drunk.
Went to grab an umbrella from my truck(fl fag here) and walked her home. and she accepted that, and we havn't had a day where we havn't atleast just met up to talk about our days at the bar or coffee shop, or even come to eachothers work to just say hi.
>>752742928
i dont feel like if i ever will anon
i have just given up
i dont want to wait anymore i just want to die
>>752741191
do you think there's a chance i'll ever hug you? empathy is bliss
Well, my only 2 friends cancelled for the fourth weekend in a row so I probably won't have anyone to talk to by the end of the year. I started anti-depressants not too long ago so I guess I'm not as fun to hang out with. But I don't feel any better. With every passing day I want to kill myself more and more. There is nothing worth striving for and I can't make friends. I bet I'll be dead before the end of next year.
>>752741764
She's 9 you sick fuck
>>752741313
c'mere anon, i love you
>>752742070
I can suppress the symptoms but not the feels
>>752742913
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be anti-female.
But it seems a lot of people here are very hung up on "talking to females".
I'm diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Basically I've got schizophrenia. Not the "I am more than one" kind, but the real clinical one.
It manifests in anxiety mostly, meaning I've got a personality that makes me paranoid.
This is towards everyone, genders aside.
That is why I am trying to force through that if it's only against females, it's something they can work with without medicine.
Of course, this is not to say it can be a lot more serious. I am not downplaying anyones's problems at all. I am merely trying to get people out of their shell, so to speak, because I recognize the problem.
I don't want anyone to cry wolf when there is no wolf. Look for the wolf first.
>>752743273
>>752742827
Speaking from experience, the debt will only make things worse. Just more misery to constantly loom over you, only this kind you know for a fact is rooted in reality.
>>752743039
Take it from an old fag.
Ehh trust me, if you push through, a few years you will be happy, I woke up many times with a few empty bottles of gin, and my revolver cocked resting in my hand.
I have lost everyone before in my life When I was caught out on a "date"with one of my male pets. (homophobes am I right). Family disowned me, Ive been engaged, with plans to get married, but about 5 months before the wedding found my soon to be cheating on me.
Went into a spiral, got arrested, spent a few day in.
Ridiculed for my life choices, and worked the shittiest jobs out there to get by.
Slept of peoples couches to live.
And was alone for a very long time.
I made it through and now work a great paying and fun job, Found my love, And lifes a lot better. YOU JUST HAVE TO PUSH THROUGH!.
>>752743109
I suspect that chance is very close to 0.
Not because I don't want to, but seeing as this is the internal and all..
It's been a long time since I've felt loved or even wanted.
But it gets better, right?
>>752743489
>But it gets better, right?
Want the real answer or the comforting answer?
>>752743489
it does with time.
>>752743607
r-real...
>>752735838
Oskar?
>>752743489
The only way it gets better is if *you* make it better.
Trust me, hoping it gets better is not enough.
>>752743672
It doesn't "get" better.
You MAKE it better.
Nothing comes by itself in this life.
It's what YOU make it.
>>752743685
Nope. Pomyliłeś mnie z kimś.
>>752743216
Author unknown?
Took me under 2 minutes tolook it up. Sgt J. Helterbran
>>752741764
Part 2
>Two years later.
>See D at her sisters first holy communion.
>We talk alot.
>She is so mature.
>Far more responsible than I was at 10.
>She tells me her dad drinks alot.
>He is very strict.
>Understandably protective, but to an extreme amount.
>Have to go home.
>Hold her.
>Kiss her forhead.
>Tell her I love her.
>i love her so much.
>Two years later.
>I see her at older cousins wedding.
>We talk alot.
>She is more mature than any girl I've ever dated.
>I have dated coworkers that were in their twenties.
>She is more beautiful than any girl I have ever seen.
>I ask her for number.
>She has no phone.
>Dad is too protective.
>They're too poor to own computer.
>I can't talk to her unless in person.
>I have to go home.
>Her and I talk until her dad yells at her for keeping me.
>I hug her.
>I kiss her forhead.
>I tell her I love her.
>I get in car.
>My heart hurts.
>I buckle my seatbelt.
>It hurts so much.
>I tell them I left sketchbook in cousin's house.
>I go back in.
>I find D.
>She's alone
Continued
>>752736464
wow yeah holy shit
Contributing with some of my fav and most efficient one.
>>752743796
Chyba tak. Ale man nadzieję że wszystko u Ciebie zmierza w dobrym kierunku (piwnica przemówiła)
>>752743987
i've read this before, but for some reason right now it hit a little hard
>>752736803
>not knowing what "random" means
>>752743383
>I don't want anyone to cry wolf when there is no wolf. Look for the wolf first.
Noice, I get you I get you
>>752743191
Jesus christ man. It will be okay. But sometimes accepting your loneliness is the only way to cope. Maybe then it may take your mind of things, maybe watch a tv program you enjoy. Comedy helps.
>>752744104
What you said.
>i've read this before, but for some reason right now it hit a little hard
What I read.
>i've read this before, but for some reason right now I'm a little hard
I hate the internet.
>>752744104
I'm here to hit hard and be hit hard.
>>752743987
>an hour or so later
nigga who told the story you did not sit there in that car and watch this dude talk to his dead brother for an hour lmao
>>752744269
well, i won't lie to you: i laughed
>>752743872
Part 3
>bigballs.jpeg
>I kiss her on lips.
>Just a peck.
>My heart feels like it's going to explode.
>More pain than anything I've ever felt.
>I'm crying.
>She's crying.
>I tell D I love her.
>"Anon I know, I love you too."
>"No D I'm in love with you."
>"Anon..."
>"I know."
>She hugs me.
>She smiles at me.
>I die.
>In car.
>It hurts.
>In school.
>It hurts.
>I am pretty good looking and quite charming.
>I can get any girl I want to go out with me at school.
>I can get any coworker.
>I can get my friend's gorgeous little sister.
>I can get my other friend's gorgeous older sister.
>I am single.
>I can't date anyone.
>It's been a year since then.
>I have yet to see her again.
>My heart hurts.
I'm 18 and I am in love with my 13 year old cousin. I will wait a little longer.
I'm 18 and I am in love with my 13 year old cousin.
>>752744505
buttcheeks! :3
got a smile out of you?
no?
mkay...
>>752743767
Not exactly. Not always you have an opportunity to MAKE it better. Sometimes you have no influence on "things"
>>752744239
Thanks anon, you made my night a little better. I don't really feel so alone now, knowing that you took the time to type out a response to try and help me out. I'll probably go watch a George Carlin special or something like that. Thanks again.
>>752734224
So close to suicide, i made my mom hate me so she at least will get over it fast, cuz i'm no longer a burden to her.
Ran away from all my friends, never was good with people, gonna jump off a building hopefully it doesn't hurt on the way down.
damn /b/ was life supposed to just suck?
>>752744848
we should really question that
was it really?
Still contributing
>>752744748
And my friends wonder why I'm depressed.
>>752744748
This story went from kinda charming to outright creepy in no time...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbEkKa-W55s
>>752744748
Neck yourself
>>752744748
The sooner you understand that life is unfair,the better off you are.
>>752744803
It's okay man we have all been there.
>>752745138
Fuck, this show was so good. Balanced feels and laughs near-perfectly, and had some of the best, most real characters in a show.
>>752744848
Hey come on now. self hatred won't get you very far. Just take this time of space to work out why you hate yourself.
>>752745430
this is now an edd edd and edder thread
My last one,gonna take some xanax and a beer and fall asleep watching parks and rec,be strong guys,life is unfair.
>>752745454
A ex-friend of mine always used to say "Life is in Scrubs."
>>752745138
Scrubs is just the best at emotions.
>>752745613
Parks and Rec is the shit.
Weird question for anyone depressed. Do you people also hoard your medications so you have a back up supply just in case you want to OD. I have been doing it for years just in case I want to off myself.
>>752745138
thank you
>>752745138
>It's fucking impossible not to cry while watching this. Unless you're a robot. They only cry half of the time.
I didnt cry. Im fucked.
>>752745918
I can't OD on my medication.
I'll get sick and throw up, but they can't kill me.
>>752745918
I think thats pretty normal, is it not? I don't think I would ever "pull the trigger" but there is something gratifying about having the control and the means.
>>752745918
It is hard to OD on my meds i think it's impossible.
>>752745918
Used to do that but I kinda stopped,even though I always have enough medication to do that actually.
No matter how I try,no matter how disappointing it is everytime,I just can't get rid of the hope.
This is the worst part for me,I can't give up.
I wish I could,but I can't.
>>752745138
That's not Black Mirror.
>>752734224
To be honest with you, /b/, I've not really had a tough life.
Sure, I've got your typical sadmans, depression blah blah blah but my life, in all, wasn't exactly a hard one. I've always had a roof over my head and for the most part food available if I was hungry, a loving parent while one seemed so distant, friends who always showed care though they never seemed to want to help when I always tried to help them.
I have no reason too actually complain because lets face it, I'm just another faceless entity in a world billions who are having either the exact same problem, worse or just generally wouldnt care.
But it's all so difficult either way, I had my young love, I had those romantic days in warm summer light, the chilly winters building snowmen and enjoy a comforting hug from those I loved, be it family or a partner, the cute dates and excitement to see someone or to be seen, the sneaking out and hiding phones to keep talking.
Yet, here I am. Alone, left behind by the people I loved and thought cared about me or at least encouraged me to believe so, those who said they'd be here for ever or told me if I really needed help that they'd always be on there on the other end to stay by my side as often as I did for them.
Its hard to really put myself in a place now where I want to carry on but I have no reason to not, I have to live this useless existence, working and surviving. Barely caring for myself.
I dont want to break down anymore, I dont want to feel this wave of hatred and sadness anymore.
Life sucks, /b/, and I'm afraid that its really not going to improve.
And for some reason, I hope it doesnt.
>>752746010
Being numb is ok too. Being aware that your numb is important.
>>752746332
Depeche Mode is good for numb.
>>752746332
Enjoy The Silence.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k5_0XZXPkU
>>752746467
You have to be numb as fuck not to be moved by Martin Gore's angelic voice.
>>752746258
i sympathize with this completely
>>752746258
>left behind by the people I loved
A sad truth that life goes on with or without you. Hardest one to accept like a weight of your heart.
>>752740360
i’ve had this tho
>>752734224
I can't do feel threads I can do feels but not the garden variety
>boohoo the no gf or she left me
I've never been able to get a girl. I'm not sad because I don't know what I'm missing. I'm sad because of my own flaws and how they affect the people around me I'm sad because I know that I could leave at anytime yet I don't understand my fear of doing so I'm sad because I had a shitty childhood with the average divorce with the manic depressed mother and the alcoholic father that millions of other people have had. I'm sad because people say that I'm intelligent that I'm cute that I have a great iq but I can't understand why they think so goddammed highly of me when I can't even see that shit myself I'm sad because people say that I'm special and that I'm destined for great thing but all I want or seem to be able to do is smoke weed and sit in my room playing video games and thinking and to me I feel that I'm letting them all down.
And you fuckers don't post shit to make me feel more than you make me rage at the thought of being able to share deep thought with another human being even if it comes with a downfall. I wish I could have what you people had and you are fucking sad about losing it. I've never had it and I suppose I could also be sad about that to but I'm not sad because of these things. I'm not sad because my life isn't and wasn't perfect because I understand nothing lasts forever and that I should take hold and enjoy every moment I have. But instead I'm stuck here wondering why it is that I'm sad when its clear that I am the cause of my own sadness by staying stuck in a loop
>>752745430
Dooo acid fe3l all the fells all at once
>>752746870
You think these people think about you as much as you think about yourself, but that is not the case. You are sad because you are letting people down who think you are cute and talented but they stop thinking about you the second you leave the room. Get out of your room and stop smoking pot. Sounds like you're in high school. Go finger yourself and tell a cute boy you're into him. Live a little. There's nothing stopping you from getting out.
Well /b/, it's time for me to get real for a second.
I'm just like any of you, and I feel a lot like the other Anon here who acknowledged that they have a good life.
But in the end, all I see through my life is how much I've wasted. I've realized that though I see everyone I know going through their various opportunities, showing their strengths and how they excel, I'm completely normal. I've realized that I keep trying to make jokes to people and see them laugh because I don't want to show that I'm scared. Scared of dying alone. Scared of being forgotten.
But in the end, I'll do nothing to change it. I'll watch my life dwindle away as I sit here, looking through the different threads to try and numb myself. I try to fill a void, and emptiness that I keep feeling by doing anything from watching Netflix to playing video games.
All so that I don't have to think about it.
But in the end, my cycle of ignorance has only thrown me down even further. I've become a husk that just tries to fill that void, rather than change. Because I'm too meek, too terrified, to anxious to change.
And all too soon, I've realized that it's my fault that I'm not good enough. And in the end I realize that it's my fault that I'm all alone, wanting to beg the people I care about for help. But I don't.
Because no matter how much it hurts me, no matter how much it poisons me, I won't change. I can't change. Because I'm just too scared to change. Because I'm trying to null a void created by myself.
>>752747200
you're my man
Can someone post the webm of the dog shivering in sadness?
>>752743128
i want a cigarette now
Hey guys.
So no feels or stories from me, it doesn't sit well with me when I see that these threads have no light or hope in them, and I cannot give you hope, I can't bring light into your life. Heck you could be sitting there with your body covered in all the diseases and just waiting, or you could be clean out of your bank account and just on the internet one last time to vent your frustrations. Maybe it is as simple as having a massive fight with your best friend and it seems you will never make up as this wasn't like the other fights you've had.
I don't know your lives or your situations other than what has simply been posted here.
What I can say, in my experience, no one ever loses the ability to laugh. No one truly loses the ability to smile or to understand what is like to be cared for. There will ALWAYS be someone who cares for you. Even if it never seems like it or even if you never know it, there is someone who does.
Friends, family, a partner or even some guys on a random forum board who have nothing better to do.
Care is there.
For most of us, even in the darkest pit of our lives, things can change too. You CAN take control, one step at a time, it's all about finding out what those steps are and if you have to be pushed forward find someone to push you. If you can manage those steps yourself, great, do it and keep going.
It's not going to be easy, fuck, I wish I could say it's just a bit of a challenge, but it's not. It's gruelling, it's painful, it's facing all of your fears and the hurt you've been through but once you've done that and came out the other side... those fears and those hurts? They don't bother you again. There is a pang every now and then but you then wonder why those things had such a hold on you, why certain people had such hold on you.
>>...tbc...
>>752747433
>>...cont
You have to free yourself and find your own happiness first, before anyone else can add to that.
I might just be talking a whole lot of shit. I'm thirty-one, and all I can say is that I'm talking from my experience, my mistakes, my achievements and where I am now.
To summarise, once you find the will to get past all the shit, and pull yourself up from the weight of all the muck and grunge... life... is pretty good, it can even be amazing. It will still such at times, but the good always outweighs the bad.
So keep going guys, I'll have a drink in your honour.
Be strong, be loved and love others.
All the best.
>>752747427
same
But I've got a sore throat, so that would feel like hell. life sucks, man.
im going to sleep now everyone
it was nice feeling with you
good night
>>752747532
got any menthols?
even if you dont, putting a few drops of peppermint extract in the filter will work the same.
>>752747628
Really? Never tried that before. Might have to now. I've only got Marlboro 100s, so we'll see.
>>752744137
it means that anybody can post different shit in response to your shitpost
>inb4 logposting
>>752747720
fuck i wish we had marlboros in canada. there isnt a lot of variety in cig brands here.
>>752735550
Cool, she can come blow me now
>>752734224
Only feel I have right now
i have no friends, no job, live with my parents and all i want is to smoke weed and do nothing all day. fuck my life
>>752740805
It was my understanding physics degrees are in demand in the private sector. Look into it anon.
>>752747464
op here. thanks for coming by anon, and thanks for talking to everyone.
>>752742977
this hurts
>>752747987
i'll name that one gefühl.jpg
>>752742977
hah! i clean my room, now what anon?
My dad died last Thursday. We never knew he was sick. He never said anything about it. Because my parents are divorced and we didn't live with him all the time we didn't get a chance to notice the signs.
He was hospitalized last Saturday. He was coughing blood, and had trouble swallowing. He was hospitalized because he also had bi-lateral pneumonia. It was complicated by highly elevated hepatic enzymes due to an obstruction of the common bile duct. His platelet count was 41k. He then developed respiratory failure, kidney failure, and finally cardiac arrest. When they removed the mechanical ventilator I noticed blood in his mouth and what seemed to be tissue. I believe he may have had liver cancer and I can't rule out a possible thrombocytopenia purpura along with the pneumonia. During the week he was at the hospital he was always sedated and had the respirator. I was never able to hear his last words, have a heart to heart with him, forgive him for all the things that happened earlier this year. I wish I hadn't spent all the time I could've had with him this year in the medical school. I will never again be able to talk to my dad. I will never be able to hug him again.
He did not leave a will. Although he was a psychiatrist, he had more debts than properties. I am left with nothing of him, except for his 15 year old car and a few notes I found in the door pocket.
The notes read "God please forgive me" and "I can't deal with this suffering anymore".
My dad was a great man. But in the end, he had nothing. My younger sister was there at the hospital when he died; I was in class. As the oldest of my siblings, however still a student, who never held a grudge against him, I can't afford to give him the proper burial he deserved. My siblings and I are the only true family he had left.
My dad was a proud man, he deserves a proper burial with a proper ceremony and I can only provide him with that by taking out a loan I can't afford.
I miss you dad. I love you.
>>752748201
already did, thanks anon, I really didn't have a good jpg name for it
>>752740676
sonder
n. made up word
>>752748193
>>752742977
I'm trying to not live like that.
Life keeps getting better, but not that good yet.
>>752746870
it's all the same. You are all "victims" of problems that you create for yourselves.
>>752748015
find a goal to strive towards. (woman, job, education, money, etc.) hell, even a few 420 blaze it faggots like you end up becoming famous musicians/streamers
>>752739137
lost mine years ago. the only true answer to your question is Time...i know it sucks, man. sorry for your loss
>>752748412
he's dust now, you can't do anything for him anymore. You wanted to talk to him to satisfy your ego or whatever complex you have.
>>752739137
if you are a female get someone you can call daddy otherwise if you are a male don't do it, it would be really gay
>>752748412
Prayers for you and your dad, MedAnon.
My guinea pig is dying of some disease I don't understand, he hasn't eaten in weeks and he barely registers my existence anymore
Pretty sure we'll be getting rid of my aquatic turtles too since they're too much of a hassle and we don't have the time to care for the tanks anymore
Friends have all just about abandoned me, don't think I have anyone to talk to anymore
I've wasted what will probably be the best years of my life playing games, never learned how to deal with serious relationships
And I'm too indecisive and self-conscious to change any of it.
Life's a cruel mistress; I bet she tortured rats as a kid.
>>752744848
>>752745548
>tfw talked to a girl few minutes ago trying to a get a date or whatever
>she argues with me for an hour and says shit like "we are all laughing at you"
i hope that just was some psychotic girl shit or im starting to feel real bad about my reputation in this shitty town
>>752734224
Let me tell you my story /b/ Part 1
When i was young i sucked my cousins dick. i was probably 7 or 8. I was a little kid, i didn't know what i was doing, but i think i liked it.
When i went to school i acted out and was really angry for some reason, i punched this dopey looking kid til he bled from his mouth just for making a face at me.
High school came and just a sudden depression and existential crisis hit me, i was questioning religion and being an edgy teen.
I just drifted through high school, talking to girls was so easy but i never wanted to date either from fear or overall wanting to save my virginity, sounds gay i know but i wanted it to be with someone special.
But something weird happened, i just stopped being interested, in people, in school.
I bought a guitar from a friend, i thought it was my escape. It gave me a real interest.
Went to college for it, never did drugs, just played music.
I could even cover Chon and Animals As Leaders songs like it was nothing, i have a couple of YT videos up couple thousand subs.
But the same dred set in, music stopped mattering, i thought everyone just wanted a jukebox, and music stopped mattering. I didn't show up for practice anymore.
I dropped music for a long time hoping i'd get back to it, i started playing video games with a group of friends, ignoring social life and school, at this point i had quit college, i ended up selling my guitar.
Now with those friends i had an amazing time traveling and smoking weed and exploring other drugs like LSD.
Ended up addicted to cigs, i smoke a pack a day now, with no goal or ideal of what i wanna do.
I used some money from my job and sold my virginity to a hooker and fucked a tranny by mistake.
There were two girls who were beautiful and somehow interested but i didn't pursue it/fucked it up. One was so beautiful, blond super thicc and a nerd, she had a kid, but i ended up being needy and just gave up.
Continued
>>752745918
i never got meds that you can od properly with
>>752738563
It was a great show until the writer's strike fucked it all up. They should have been able to end it better, and then MAYBE do a spin off.
>>752749102
i'm 25 now and my life has been completely worthless
i just wanna say my story before i kill myself
hopefully god or whatever has mercy on me.
maybe i was a coward
maybe i'm just a faggot who never got out the closet.
but truly if you wanna take a chance take it.
don't be like me /b/
don't just drift through life because i feel i have no more options
i wouldn't wish my life on anyone.
thanks for all the good times /b/ and see you space cowboy
>>752749301
please don't. 25 is still young enough to figure it all out.
g erht 4rntn4in
>>752749002
Thank you anon.
>>752746870
I know that feel. I am breaking the loop so slowly, but feel confident after seeing my progress.
I hate even discussing feelings or relieving myself of problems by talking it out with what few distant friends I have. I mostly know the answers myself, but it takes time til I am ready to do something about it.
>>752749855
Same anon here. while im feeling proud I must acknowledge I made progress with drinking. I drink everyday, but keep drinking less. I told myself long ago all I needed to do was buy some beer instead of liquor for the weekend. managed to do just that yesterday. I may never drink whiskey again and may find a day to see if i can safely stop drinking so it doesn't control me.
>>752735697
I found the trick is just to not focus on it. Just go through it, don't pay attention to it. It's not going to get better but at least you don't mind so much anymore.
>>752734224
Chatting with a girl online and showed her what I do for my hobbies, as she asked. Part of what I do is paint miniature models. Haven't heard from her since.
I've never been ashamed of what I do for fun, but is it really that bad?
>>752743987
Whenever i hear stories like this i wish i could've given my pathetic life for these people who didn't deserve it.
>>752742705
I spent time in the infantry and I had the same plan, if I died there at least my family could retain some pride in me. Don’t be surprised when you find others there like that. It came up a few times when I was talking to others, knew some people who had been in combat in multiple deployments and just wanted to go back and die. You’ll see some dark stuff in people. Never knew people that deeply in the first 20 years of my life as I did after a single year in the military.
>>752747770
Yeah buy youve got players ligieres and johnny players specials
>>752750482
i made a spider-man costume from scratch these past few months. it came out awful and i'm gonna fix it, but for shits and giggles i put it in my tinder profile.
i got a few bites from cute girls, and one of them i asked out to coffee. she said yes and that we'd pick a date this week. i got ghosted, to say the least.
sometimes it's not your hobbies: your hobby actually sounds really cool, like you must have a steady hand and an attention to detail man. i've painted a few DnD miniatures and it was hard as fuck, and i did it with little precision. the point is, i guess sometimes either girls find us uninteresting, or find something more interesting (not to say we're not interesting)
>>752750828
Perhaps, but I also mentioned I GM for a roleplaying game with friends and she seemed interested enough to ask to watch at some point. Honestly I didn't find her all that interesting either, but to drop me like a hot rock just seems petty. I have enough trouble reaching out to strangers, which is why I do online dating in the first place.
>>752736104
I honestly wish I hadn't read this.
>feel drunk 24/7
>everything is always hazy
>Not living, just watching it all through a screen
>It's been like this for 1-1.5 years now
>Scared Ill never be able to enjoy the world like I used to
>sad that I can never count on having a good day
>tried to get DD diagnosis but doc doesn't think so
>hes putting it down to chronic fatigue
When will my fucking nightmare end
>>752751103
same here, bud. i've been working out for almost half a year, lost a lot of chub and am starting to bulk up, and ghosting is just this horrible blow to the self-esteem.
unfortunately, that's just common place in online dating, as i'm coming to find out. they barely know you, barely have a connection, so no harm to them if they just drop you like you're nothing.
i ghosted a few girls and after having it done to me, i felt so shitty that i actually sent them all an apology and was honest with them. they all appreciated it. just goes to show that what someone deems a harmless action might be harmful to someone else, so just try to be nice? if you don't dig someone, just tell them. don't drop them out of nowhere. sorry you had to go through that bud, and your hobby is rad
>>752739465
i saved this so maybe one day, when i'm older, i can look back and understand
>>752751590
I know it sucks and you have to protect yourself from being hurt online because everyone will be eventually, I just find it hard to talk to people in real life and online seems to be my only option. Especially considering I live in the middle of nowhere, quite literally. I'm so alone and I hate being that way. I know that if I had the chance I could make someone very happy. I work hard, I'm loyal, I always want those close to me feel happy and loved, I go out of my way to help people.
>>752735550
i bet this is the same guy who let snails crawl over his dick and called it a blowjob
i read through all of this and i just want to die
>>752752248
livestream please.
>>752752248
same
>>752741764
can someone screencap these?
>>752734224
I'm not exactly sure what the fuck has happened to me.
When I was young, I was abused. A lot. I went through a lot of shit. But I fixed myself decently. I became a decent fucking human being despite it.
Or, I used to be a decent fucking human being. I had a lot of friends, people I cared for. I used to be great at things like presenting for class, standing and talking in front of crowds, convince people on things, etc. I always knew what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it.
And then I got depression in grade 12. I lost all my friends. People I cared for. And then school ended. I had nothing. For two years I just worked. Mostly worked jobs where I didn't interact with others. So for the most part, I was alone for two years.
I developed a habit of talking to myself. But I cured my own depression.
Now I'm back in school. I've worked hard to be here. But I can't talk to anybody. I freeze up, stumble over my words and say the wrong things. I can't even spit out a fucking sentence to a teacher.
It's pathetic.
And just under the surface I'm boiling because I USED to be able to it. I used to be able to talk to anyone about anything. Now I can't even tell you how I'm feeling.
I have no idea what the fuck to do.
>>752736104
Fuck I live in NC
I wanna cry
>>752752088
hopefully there's someone online that'll talk to you about anything. don't miss your chance to ask them out on a date, or get their number. i also can't talk to people in real life, i've also resorted to online dating. you just gotta keep looking.
>>752752248
it's okay man
>>752735697
CRAWLING IN MY SKIN, THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEEEAAAALLLLL
>>752752640
I'm getting old. I'm turning thirty in a few months. I feel like such a failure. A failure that suffers in silence as bringing up my problems to others sounds like a pity party to me. I've gone through a lot of shit in my life and I just want to die. Prolonging it feels like torture.
I know I haven't been through what any of you have been through, no one really has, but I would like to say something to all of the no gf's out here: no one wants to be the reason you are happy. People are not a means to an end. If you are this unhappy now, and care this much about yourself, all you are going to be to any girl is a chore. No one wants you to drag them down so you can be cheered up. And it will be a chore for them to help make you think you're worthwhile. Some people are just not meant to be with others, to have many (or any) friends and relationships. You're probably one of them. Let go of that desire and you will not feel happy, but you will be okay. Give up, let go of all of your desires and just go with life, see where it takes you. It can be interesting just to watch. If you want to feel worthwhile or whatever do it through service to other people and don't expect anything for it. As I said, you will not really be happy, but you will be okay.
>>752752855
i think that's why we're here. my friends are out, getting drunk, having a good time. my family is working. if i talk about this shit to them, they'll try to find a quick fix at most. we're here because we need to bring up our problems to people that'll listen. but please man, just hold out hope
kill your enemy
kill the rich
kill the feeling inside that gives you pain
kill your enemy
never kill your self
>>752753135
Your friends and I have something in common, I'm getting drunk as per usual.
I want to hold out, but I've held out for ten years for some kind of affection and never found anything. And I'm not super picky, I just don't want to settle, or anyone to settle for me. I'd like to be with someone that shares at least some of the same hobbies, is an intellectual equal and wants love like I do. Even then I feel like wanting something like that makes me seem greedy.
>>752752515
im another nc fag
28215
>>752753350
the world is too big. you're not greedy for wanting to be with someone compatible. keep looking, my guy, she's out there and she wants to paint miniatures with you
>>752734224
>>752753922
>>she's out there and she wants to paint miniatures with you
I wish. Life never works out like a story. Sometimes you die for nothing, or live your life completely bereft of happiness and meaning.
>>752754112
tryhard
>>752754203
I don't think it's tryhard, only that it will affect someone who has had a pet at some point. If you're not a pet person then you just won't get it.
>>752754112
ouch. fucking ouch
Most of you normalfags just want to die, I feel a need to die for something. I want to breach that postmodern nihilistic feeling of nothingness.
>>752754491
just say numb you undergrad fag
>>752754201
you gotta try to live your life for those things, my guy. find the meaning. you're just shy of 30; you still have a lot of time left
>>752754491
I have the need to die for something and the need to be remembered, I want to die doing something big, it doesn't necessarily have to be important, just memorable.
>>752754632
Wanna try that again Chester Bennington?
>>752754729
get a bump stock or eat someone.
>>752754729
Not at all, just die for a cause or something. Have a clear vision of something and be prepared to go to the fullest.
>>752754831
just say numb you undergrad fag
>>752754649
I want to, I really want to. But I can't help but look at my life as some kind of spreadsheet or graph. I see it all going downhill, so I should pull the plug.
I loved my ex gf we had a 3 year relationship, but she cheated on me, she then started going out with the guy she cheated... I couldn't do anything, I feel like shit and I just found out shes living with some OTHER guy and she's pregnant now, I don't know if it's wrong I feel good know that she got pregnant at 20 years old or feel bad, karma is a mf
>>752755069
please don't, man. i'll worry about you the next time i make a feels thread
>>752755127
fuck her. She's pregnant at 20, and a cheater. If you believe in karma just imagine what the universe has in store for her. You're doing alright.
