Celeb Thread - /Mentally ill containment/ edition.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Celeb Thread - /Mentally ill containment/ edition.
>>752420569
What makes you say that? :c
>>752420704
uwu
Who's Best Jess
>>>>>> /s/
>>>>>> /s/
>>>>>> /s/
>>>>>> /s/
>>752420725
This is getting more funny everytime, now post that pasta already you lil rascal
>>752420704
I´ve seen them
>>752420735
>*Strokes your hair.*
Good Anon! uwu
>>752420899
I didn't give you permission to reply to me. Listen, it was entertaining at first. Hell, it was actually funny. But now I'm getting the feeling that you actually think that you're on my level. From the day was born, I was destined for success. I was brought into this world by a software engineer and and a prominent actuary, both of Norwegian descent. From the moment that the fucking curtains were raised, l was set to dominate the STEM fields. And because had guardians that actually cared about me, I flourished. Pretty soon, I was placed into a special school of correspondence, specifically I.M Gelfand's school for gifted children in New England. I not only reached my parents' expectations, but I passed them with flying colors. I had raw talent. was fucking better. I was surrounded by 6th graders, many from Hong Kong, whom were smarter than half the posters in this thread. And now, where am l? In MIT, getting my double BS in Electrical Engineering and Physics, with a Stanford-Binet tested IQ of 147 at age 17. Get this through your head: I am worth more than your entire goddamn family. I'm smarter than you, better looking than you, taller than you, wealthier than you, and more employable than you. While you type out another comment, I'll be simultaneously working with the brightest minds in the warld and fornicating with my beautiful girlfriend. It gets on my nerves when people pretend to be better than me. Know your place. Never, ever reply to my posts, again.
https://youtu.be/313xYmcYPds
>>752420786
Left for her billion dollars. Middle for femdom. Right for mommy.
>>752420959
Stop replying to every post you tryhard fucking faggot.I am SICK to death of you. You are nothing but a low life piece of shit with nothing better to do than sit behind your damned keyboard playing at the big I am. You live in a fantasy world and take some warped sense of pleasure from posting shit such as this.
I would dearly LOVE to meet you one day - I may be a pacifist but i'd smash your fuckin teeth in without a second thought you tosser - do us all a favour and fuck off back to the sewer you came from.
Other posters - while I apologise for the use of profanities and the nature of my post I do not apologise for aiming it at this piece of shit who does nothing on this thread but wind people up and is the most disrespectful arsehole I have ever encountered on any thread. One or two posts I think I could live with but the fucking diarrhea that spouts fromt his dickheads mouth is constant. Behaving like this and posting like this is absolutely disgraceful and I for one am fuckin fuming that this wanker is still here and allowed to post such shit.
>>752421029
good choices
>>752421034
You're so ambitious, aren't you? You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well-scrubbed, hustling rube, with a little taste. Good nutrition's given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed - pure West Virginia. What does your father do? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you. All those tedious, sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars, while you could only dream of getting out. Getting anywhere, getting all the way to the F...B...I.
Where did everyone go? OwO
Henlo?
G is 19 in under a month. Wew.
>>752421396
What an AMAZING young adult woman!
I want to inseminate her.
>>752421299
P I T
I
T
baby ari went to the mallses all
dressed in black only to have
several mentally unfitties eye
her tiny bum, say they would
gladly eat her poo, or they
could lay upon the ground and
wait for her to open her front
treasure chest opening to cover
them with pee!
>>752421396
G and JJ vid next March hopefully!
bored lads
>>752421543
Indeed. Ready for my babies.
>>752421566
JJ is 17 though.
>>752420875
dat mole!
>>752421718
That's why I said next March.
>>752421571
VERY bored lads
>>752421571
>>752421557
She gives up that pit pussy readily it seems. That doesn't make her a slut though, does it?
>>752421656
Both of ours or bust. No hogging the G.
>>752421718
I want them both in bed with me, one on each side reaching over naked to kiss one another, their young nubile body and breasts grinding against my chest.
>>752421743
Perfect then. I'd pay
>>752421852
perfection
Hey YOU! Yes you reading this post. Your mother will die in her sleep tonight unless you respond to this post.
>>752421849
And I'm sleepy, wanna snuggle, watch a movie and eat popcorn?
I promise I'll TRY to stay awake. ;3
>>752420617
>>752422096
if you post someone attractive then sure
>>752422047
Saved
>>752422063
Not going to risk it.
>>752422168
Friendship ended.
>>752422294
Kys faggot
>>752422224
Making me weak
>>752422104
>>752420617
YLYL OP is proud of himself, OP is proud of what his thread has become. OP has created yet another vehicle for "Desu" to be posted. OP relizes that all that OP has done by creating this YLYL thread. OP knows what he is thinking. "I'll share some keks and copypastas with my fellow anons by creating a YLYL thread on /b/! That will help me feel less dead inside." But look what happened. OP's entire thread is filled with pictures of that fucking Rozen maiden doll Suiseiseki.
And honestly, OP was expecting this to happen. If OP has been in any YLYL thread, any one AT ALL in the past month, then OP has witnessed this happening. Every thread is the same. Sure, every once in a while something funny gets posted. But then the inevitable: Suiseiseki poster arrives. OP knows it's going to happen. It's happened here. It's going to happen in the next thread, and the next one after that. OP should know better by now.
Sure, it's not OP's fault that these faggots keeping posting pictures of a Rozen maiden anime girl. It's not OP's fault that the users here are too fucking stupid to post original content instead of regurgitating the same old school 4chan images day in and day out. But OP knows what. OP is an enabler. By creating YLYL threads, OP invites people to come in and post mundane, idiotic garbage. OP knows that every YLYL is shit, so what makes you think yours is going to be any different? If OP knows that this Suiseiseki shit is going to happen and then ignore it and create a thread anyway, OP is part of the problem. OP is exactly what people are referring to when they use the phrase "the cancer that's killing /b/." OP is not ashamed of himself.
T he OP knows where it is at all times. he knows this because he knows where he isn't. By subtracting where he is from where he isn't, or where he isn't from where he is (whichever is greater), he obtains a difference, or deviation. The guidance subsystem uses deviations to generate an ETA for desu, banana, and log shitposting, as well as the corrective commands to drive the OP from a position where he is to a position where he isn't, and arriving at a position where he wasn't, he now is. Consequently, the position where he is, is now the position that he wasn't, and it follows that the position that he was, is now the position that he isn't.
In the event that the position that he is in is not the position that he wasn't, the system has acquired a variation, the variation being the difference between where the OP is, and where he wasn't. If variation is considered to be a significant factor, it too may be corrected by the GEA. However, the OP must also know where he was.
The OP guidance computer scenario works as follows. Because a variation has modified some of the information the missile has obtained, he is not sure just where he is. However, he is sure where he isn't, within reason, and he knows where he was. He now subtracts where he should be from where he wasn't, or vice-versa, and by differentiating this from the algebraic sum of where he shouldn't be, and where he was, he is able to obtain the deviation and his variation, which is called error
>>752422372
same cant get enough of her
Look there he goes making that THREAD again. You laugh you lose huh? It's impossibly unfathomable how spectacularly unfunny your pathetic little images are. Where'd you save those from? Facebook? Reddit? After going through so much of your cesspool of normalfaggot "memes" I haven't "lost" or "kekd" at any of your fucking shitposts. I can't imagine the look on your face when you see these reposted "memes" on your cyber power pc you got from your parents. How funny and original you think you are, how you cry newfag when someone thinks your wimpy posts aren't funny. Well newsflash YOU are the newfag. You come here for yet another formality with your edgy racism and 9/11 jokes. You fucking underage nigger shitheads bring your garbage here from ifunny and Reddit. WELL IVE HAD IT YOUNG MAN
Yeah, ok. Enjoy playing with the feeble-minded, small-dicked, half-men around here. They are omega as fuck and do not even belong in the gene pool. If you were worth anything at all, you would not even find toying with them to be entertaining. I hunt predators. I don't play with insects. That you amuse yourself with the latter speaks volumes to your intellectual ineptness and vacuous soul. You couldn't handle an alpha's alpha. You would be reduced to a orgasmic convulsing girl ooze dripping uncontrollably, and you can't handle that so you wrap yourself up in petty manchild games to feel superior. It is YOU that have the control issue. Those of us who are actually in control and control others all day long in every walk of life have no need nor desire to engage in mere sparring for amygdala control when we can control the entire brain and reflexively have it act on our will without words, and permanently, with far less effort than you expend in your dysfunctional neural calisthenic dysphoria.
Run along, child, lest I focus my smite on you..
And what's more? I laugh at guys like you. When you cry about how much girls treat you bad, and wonder why they can't just see that you're a nice guy who would always treat them right? I nod and tell you to hang in there, you'll find someone right for you someday, don't give up hope man. But inside? I'm laughing my ass off at you you pathetic fuck. Every girl you set your sights on, who isn't a disgusting pig-monster, I'm going to fuck 6 ways from sunday before you even tell her you think she's cute. I won't bother trying when you finally settle for that 350 pound girl who works at hardees, you can have that. Anything else I'm going to cum on her face before you get those lips near it.
And the biggest reason I laugh? It's not me doing all this. It's the girls. When you cry about how lonely you are? Or talk about how you just want to curl up and disappear, and all that emo bullshit? You're triggering her "Don't fuck" instinct something fierce. You're a miserable weak coward, why would she want your genes? Feel free to buy her a new computer and help her decorate her apartment, you're great for that. But her baby-maker is barking orders at her, telling her to wrap her legs around me and hold on for as long as she can. She needs it, on a primal level you'll never get to see first hand, even if you do get a chance to fuck her. Sooner or later one of them will lay back and spread their legs, but you won't see any hunger in their eyes. They won't beg you to love them forever and make them yours. You won't know what it's like to see her animal side needing you as much as she needs to eat and breath."
>>752422475
She´s fit, she could ride you all night i bet
>>752422590
sounds like heaven
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated bottom of my class at St. Joseph's Prep, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on /pol/, and I have over 300 confirmed trash can kills. I am trained in burning flags and I’m the top windshield batterer in the entire St. Louis antifascist action. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, Nazi. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of antifa sympathizers across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can punch you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with a bike lock. Not only am I extensively trained in slap fights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Venezuelan feral cat BBQ squad and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn fascist. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>752420617
>/Mentally ill containment/ edition
Good to see you're finally accepting that you're just a bunch of disgusting homos.
There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn’t he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.
I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Banana thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don’t even fill in the captcha. Maybe you’re such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The “epic” Banana guy, isn’t it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it’s ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that’s right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she’s probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about a fucking banana. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Bananafag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can’t even try to talk with you because all you say is “I REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS PICTURE.” You’ve become a parody of your own self. And that’s all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he’s done a million times now. And that’s all you’ll ever be.
I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you
I don't even know where the fuck to begin... Why do people like you find dead bodies something to joke about? You think because you get to sit in your warm homes on a computer that you can just joke about horrible things like this? What the actual fuck is wrong with you guys? This is very fucked up, yet crazy assfucks like you are posting dead things like it's nothing. Sick fucks, doing this shit does fucking nothing. So you want to come on an imageboard to be an asshole about things like this? Let me tell you guys, you are all fucking weak. You would never be useful to the world with such behavior you present. Honestly why do people like you guys even exist? I bet you don't even know about half of what people have gone through from then till now when they have someone they've known die. You are all such disgusting bullies. Isn't it bad enough that people go through hardships of their loved ones? Seriously what do you guys really find funny about this? Stupid fuckers I'm so angry right now that I wish I can fucking punch my computer screen so that my fist can get a good hit on that asshole face of yours, OP. Sick fucks. Seriously, just fucking grow up and actually act properly about death. Stupid fuck, keep eating those cheetoes that you stain on your shirts every day.
>>752422658
At least I could kick your ass.
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewers head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existential catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenevs Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them.
And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid
>>752422635
Would never want it to end
>>752422844
You couldn't. It's obvious from the fact that your dad wasn't around to raise you.
>>752422752
>>752422817
>>752422875
>>752420617
Are you proud of yourself OP? Are you proud of what this thread has become?
You've created yet another vehicle for "le funny banana maymay" to be posted. That's all you've done by creating this YLYL thread. I know what you were thinking. "I'll share some laughs with my fellow anons by creating a YLYL thread on /b/! That will help me pass some time." But look what happened. Your entire thread is filled with pictures of that fucking banana.
And honestly, what were you expecting to happen? If you've been in any YLYL thread, any one AT ALL in the past year, then you've witnessed this happening. Every thread is the same. Sure, every once in a while something funny gets posted. But then the inevitable: the banana. We all know it's going to happen. It's happened here. It's going to happen in the next thread, and the next one after that. You should know better by now.
Sure, it's not your fault that these faggots keeping posting pictures of a naked banana. It's not your fault that the users here are too fucking stupid to post original content instead of regurgitating the same 9gag-level images day in and day out. But you know what? You're an enabler. By creating YLYL threads, you're inviting people to come in and post mundane, idiotic garbage. We all know that every YLYL is shit, so what makes you think yours is going to be any different? If you know that this banana shit is going to happen and then ignore it and create a thread anyway, you're part of the problem. You are exactly what people are referring to when they use the phrase "the cancer that's killing /b/." You should be ashamed of yourself.
>>752422880
I wouldn't last a second
Man imagine how awful Emma must have felt with that tub of lard Harvey fucking her.
His hot rancid breath inches from her face.
His numerous fat rolls rubbing against her bare stomach and her sensitive nipples, chafing her soft delicate skin.
His thick dick pumping into her tight vagina, not caring about her enjoyment just thumping away at her insides.
Her face grimaces in pain as his dick throbs inside of her as he goes deeper and deeper.
The disgusting smelly sweat off of his body falls onto her skin, smearing her with a stench that her body has never been used to. Her body now has a disgusting sheen of her own sweat and his and she cant tell where his odor begins and her's ends.
Then without warning she feels it, he starts to orgasm.
And she desperately tries her best to wriggle free before he can finish weakly pummeling his fat meaty chest and man boobs with her tiny arms.
But she's not strong enough...
He pumps her full of disgusting thick semen, accompanied by a groan that sounds like a hybrid between a strangled pig and a retarded whale.
Weinstein collapses on top of her for a moment, his full weight stifling her and almost destroying her delicate rib cage.
Emma starts to cry, the pain from this 300 lb man on top of her and the thought of his thick semen in her vagina have driven her to to tears.
Then he rolls off of her and starts to pull up his pants over his lopsided fupa.
"See hon, not so hard was it? I'll tell them to give you the role. You're gonna be an even bigger star than you already are."
Emma turns away from him and buries her face into a sweat stained pillow, his cum slowly leaking out of her vagina as she lies there.
She hears the hotel room door open and then close and she knows that he is finally gone but his stench... his smell lingers onto her skin, inside of her vagina, and in her mind.
A disgusting permanent reminder of what had been done to her.
>>752421718
Pedophilia is a mental illness. Pedophiles that have commit no crime should have access to voluntary "incarceration" if they fear they cannot control desires(through hentai, dolls, etc) and don't want to face execution. Once admitted to the program they will be studied to find a cure, if no cure exists, they go to penal legions, work camps or can opt for voluntary castration(not required to opt out of program) before release back into general population. Child rapists should be executed immediately.
There is nothing biologically wrong with attraction to females capable of ovulation and breeding. That said there is at least some evidence to suggest females breeding as early as 11 can threaten the life of the child and the mother, for this reason I'd advise waiting to impregnate your early adolescent wife until she is 16, since most females will be able to safely breed by this point. It is imperative that we strive to repair society and free it of degenerate. (((AoC))) laws help create such degeneracy by normalizing premarital sex.
The female's place is in the home. Betrothment is a necessity. A female having multiple mates damages her ability to "pair bond", Microchimerism also permanently soils her eggs. Commie "feminists" pls go and stay go
Allow me to reiterate: Pedophilia is a mental illness such as Homophilia or foot or scat fetishists(Thought foot and scat are less extreme and pose less of a threat) and they should have access to help if they can't hide their desires. Those Pedophiles that abuse pre-pubescent children are irredeemable trash that deserve nothing but death.
Hebephilia is perfectly natural and attraction to females capable of producing eggs to be fertilized is not comparable to attraction to pre-pubescents.
>b-but children can consent!
>b-but women deserve freedom to whore around!
>b-but Sodomites are people!
>b-but my feelings!
You deserve to be crucified.
>>752422962
LOL XDXDXDXDXD I JUST LITERALLY PEED MY PANTS JUST A LITTE THOUGH I MEAN ITS A LITTLE SPOT NOT LIKE IT RUINED MY CHAIR R NYTHING LOL BUT FOR REAL EPIC LULZ HIGH FIVES XDDDDDDD U FRUSTRATED U FRUSTRATED BRO U SO MAD WHY ARE YOU SO MAD I CAN POST ANYTHING I WANT THAT IS HOW IT SAYS IN THE RULES I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR FAGGOTRY RULES Y SO MA A AD WHATA FUCK MAN xD i just fall of my chair cuz i couldnt and i CANT stop laugh xDXDXDXDXDDDXDDDDDDDDDD OMGOSH DDDX X DDDDDDDDDDDD DDD LOOOOOOOOOLLLLL THIS IS A SHIT XDDDDDDD DDDXDDDDDDDDDDD A BIG ONE XDDDD A GRAT ONE XDD CONGRATS MAN XD U FRUSTRATED U FRUSTRATED BRO U SO MAD WHY ARE YOU SO MAD I CAN POST ANYTHING I WANT THAT IS HOW IT SAYS IN THE RULES I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR FAGGOTRY RULES Y SO MA A AD WHATA FUCK MAN xD i just fall of my chair cuz i couldnt and i CANT stop laugh xDXDXDXDXDDDD DDX XDDDDDDDDD OMGOSH DDDXDDDDDDDDD DDDD DDD LOOOOOOOOOLLLLL THIS IS A SHIT hgXDDDDDDDD DDDXDDDD DDDDDDD A BIG ONE XDDDD A GRAT ONE XDD CONGRATS MAN XD WHATA FUCK MAN xD i just fall of my chair cuz i couldnt and i CANT stop laugh xDXDXDXDXDDDDDDXDDDDDDDDDD OMGOSH HOOOOOOOOLLLLLLYYYYY SHIT whatr the HELL WHATA FUCK MAN xD i just fall of my chair cuz i couldnt and i CANT stop laugh xDXDXDXDXDDDDDDXDDDDDDDDDD OMGOSH DDDX XD DDD DDD DDD DDDDD DDD LOOOOOOOOOLLLLL THIS IS A SHIT XDDDDD DDDDXDDDD DDDDDDD A BlG ONE XDDDD A GRAT ONE X XDDLOL XDXDXDXDXD
Okay, I am fucking sick and fucking tired of you little fuckers making fun of 911! Just WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? Piece of shit,
Funny thing is you wouldn't dare to make fun of 9/11 anywhere but on here, because you're an edgy little faggot.
Maybe someday when you eventually turn 15, you'll realize that you're a fucking dickhead. Imagine terrorist attacking your country and killing thousands of innocent people. And you fuckers think this tradegy is funny!? PEOPLE DIED you fucking deluded reject neckbeard. Every day your parents probably sob in each others arms at the realization that the innocent little child they once had has now grown up to be a NEET basement dwelling permavirgin faggot with a non-existant social life. The only attention you will ever garner from anyone is by posting edgy fucking comments on an anonymous fucking image board. I can almost picture a weak grin spreading across your face as you realise someone replied to your shitty mindless comment, you autistic fuck. You are nothing. You will never be something. End your life right now, you fucking lardass social reject.
you people disgust me!!
>>752422962
Not the first time, but I wouldn´t quit after that
>>752422962
Without makeup, or at least very little.
Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked 300 candy bars from tha corner store. im trained in street fitin’ & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil dickhead w/ a hot mum & fake bling. ill waste u and smash a fokin bottle oer yer head bruv, i swer 2 christ. ya think u can fokin run ya gabber at me whilst sittin on yer arse behind a lil screen? think again wanka. im callin me homeboys rite now preparin for a proper rumble. tha rumble thatll make ur nan sore jus hearin about it. yer a waste bruv. my homeboys be all over tha place & ill beat ya to a proper fokin pulp with me fists wanka. if i aint satisfied w/ that ill borrow me m8s cricket paddle & see if that gets u the fok out o’ newcastle ya daft kunt. if ye had seen this bloody fokin mess commin ye might a’ kept ya gabber from runnin. but it seems yer a stewpid lil twat, innit? ima shite fury & ull drown in it m8. ur in proper mess ya knobhead
So jetzt MUSS ich mich mal AUSKOTZEN!! wie ihr wisst war jamiroo seit einigen wochen schlapp. auf rat meiner schamanin bekam er deshalb NUR rosenwasser und kein futter (auch KEIN BARF). so nun sagte die schamanin das das eben etwas länger dauert bei schäferhunden und sie ist ja auch nicht mehr die jüngste. meine TOLLE mitbewohnerin (SARKASTISCH!!!!) wollte mir die ganze zeit einreden das ich fehler mache etc und das ich mal lieber zu einem “richtigen” TA soll und so. sie ist noch nicht auf dem richtigen pfad. bei manchen dauert das eben länger. Aber ich bin gedultig. SO und jetzt war ich vorgestern den ganzen tag nicht zuhause, arge musste mich mal wieder irgendwo hinschicken und DANN GEHT DIE SHCLAMPE MIT MEINEM ARMEN JAMIROO EINFACH SO ZUM TA!!! ICH BIN SO WÜTEND!!!!!! UND DER SAGT NATürLICH DAS SIE KREBS HAT UND DAS SIE EIGENDLICH EINGESCHLÄFTERT WERDEN MUSS!!! SO ALS OB ES KREBS WIRKLICH GEBEN WÜRDE! UND DANN HAT DER IHM IRGENDWAS GESPRITZT UND GESTERN IST MEIN ARMER JAMIROO DARAN GESTORBEN!!!! DER TA DIE SAU HAT IHN UMGEBRACHT!! UND MEINE MITBEWOHNERIN SO “du bist schuld du warst nicht schnell genug beim TA...blahblahbalh” ALS HÄTTE ICH KEINE AHNUNG UND MEINE SCHAMANIN AUCH NICHT!!!!! DAS MUSS MAN SICH MAL VORSTELLEN!!!! ICH BIN SOOOOOO WÜTEND!!!!!
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand mass shootings. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of bullet trajectories most of the rounds will go over a typical victim's head. There's also the shooter's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Elliot Rodger's YouTube videos, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of the suspect, to realize that he's not just funny- he is saying something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike mass shootings truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in the shooter's existencial catchphrase "GOODNIGHT LAS VEGAS," which itself is a cryptic reference to The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as the shooter's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a YOU CANT DODGE THE RODGE tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
Just breathe air until the demons are gone
Just drink water until the demons are gone
Just dig earth until the demons are gone
Then we can burn fire forever
For the demons will have found their homeIoid wasn’t ready boys aren’t supposed to do that it bled so much plungers aren’t dildos
Children are sacred to the God
Stay woke at all times black sheep
>Resistance is futile
Never gonna give you up
DO NOT mutilate genitals
>This is not good. I hope you realize masturbating and fetishes are stifling to your overall health when indulged like this.
I am drinking dragonfruit mega c
>Celebrating the body form of women accepted
>Modifying body to resemble women for superficial reasons unacceptable
I would cluck her right in the chicken
>This is depiction of chocolates having sex
>I have fapped to worse
This is clearly an attack on our womens self esteem and privacy. I like it
Juxt use your fist
Poor penis enlargement victims
Wow r34 gets me hards
>i love roleplaying
Whatever is healthy
>get help suicides never am option
Get help we love you
I support trump
Love
Trust
The bad guys can’t beat us with those things
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Wew how did that happen with the fishstickz
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>Wew how did that happen
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>>752420617
Oh no, you can't get your daily dose of every fucking image that's posted every 3 goddamned hours you cringey US Magazine reading cunt.
Kill Yourself. Zero joke. Not kidding in the least. Go into your parents medicine cabinet and swallow every single pill you can get your hands on and crawl into the tub to die you useless douchebag.
I used to actually enjoy coming to these threads. It was kind of fun to post new pics of celebs I lusted after and see if anybody had any new ones I hadn't seen before. Maybe even catch a nude leak in progress. But the content has been increasingly vile with each passing day. Closeted homos using celebs as an excuse to draw other dudes into discussing how they'd suck each other off while looking at the pics - news glad faggots: the celebs have nothing to do with it. YOU ARE GAY. And no amount of mooning over the same 10 pictures of flat-assed Taylor Swift and other barely passable traps is going to change that fact. Herman has taken over these threads, and by participating in them, yoi are just encouraging his behavior and others like him and quickly bringing about the complete ruination of this website. Until we all just say enough is enough and boycott/sage these cesspools of rampant faggotry, we will never be anything but the sperm-slickened anus of the internet.
Herman, if you won't kill yourself, have someone else do it. OD, autoerotic asphyxiation, 12 gauge - it doesn't matter. Hell, just drop dead of natural causes, your butter bloated arteries bursting with the effort of standing up to yell at your mother for more fruit juice. Until you die, /b/ is doomed to never rise above the frothy surface of the diarrhea filled toilet bowl that it has become.
>>752422875
Ok I'm fucking sick and tired of this Rick and Morty IQ meme. Please just fucking stop. I don't even know the full story about why R&M fans think the show makes them smart. But honestly I am seriously getting SO pissed off at this meme. I can't believe I'm writing this, but I feel I should. I am so sick and fucking tired of this "Rick and Morty IQ" meme bullshit. Please, it's grating and painful to me. I don't even watch the show (I know almost nothing about it), but I just want this meme to die as soon as fucking possible. It's literally mocking fans of the show, and I am not okay with a meme meant to insult others. I don't know why fans think the show makes them smart, but holy fuck I don't give a goddamn shit. Please, for the love of all that is holy, let this meme die already.
>>752422658
bump
>>752424258
*shameless self-bump
>>752424343
essentially
SAGE.GOES.IN.ALL.FIELDS
A
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F
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>>752424404
Don´t you ever think you´re wasting your life
>>752424460
Kys
>>752424502
I´ll take that as a yes
>>752424460
>>752424553
It's just you and me now, buddy.
>>752421396
her shower vid is noice
>>752424584
Nice
So you are wasting your time on purpose?
>>752424584
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJjjVzQ1bsM
>>752421566
>>752421718
he lives on /b/ in celeb threads its an open secret that everyone knows he has severe autism his name is herman (not even joking) when he has had brief clear days as he calls them he stated on here that he lives with his parents (he is like 60 something) and has split personalities and posts random celebs having circle jerking sessions etc even posts kid pics etc kenzi and G and jj and a few others....a janitor employed by the website called him out many times explaining to people that he basically samefags the entire thread talking to himself etc .... he thinks its just one guy and a big conspiracy against him etc ...cringy as fuck to watch....u usually can spot when he makes a thread when he posts a random celeb to start it off then posts a shity celeb ie taylor swift etc with a >best celeb next to it then proceeds to samefag the thread etc ....
>That moment that you realise that
>Marinafag =
>kenzifag
>munnfag
>arifag
>tayfag
>selenafag
>stutterfag
>katyfag
>pedofag
>footfag
>g-fag
>RPfag
>elle
>jordyn jones
>pedo gif poster guy
(plus when he acts like multiple anons getting mad at anyone who cals him out or anyone who posts this)
(plus the id suck cock for tay tay(or other celeb) faggotry/samefagging)
(plus underage celebs who he posts then samefags talking to himself saying how pure they are etc then replies to himself being "lewd" describing how he wants to fuck them then replying to himself again telling himself not to be lewd "she is an angel etc" then repeating the last few steps the entire thread)
aka herman the guy who lives with his parents in the united states
now thats what u call cringe...
just a head up to u guys its all the same guy...he samefags like a motherfucker using multiple devices
he is also a regular poster on /pol/ and /mpl/ and starts most /trap/ threads
What I'm about to tell you is the truth, NASA has built a device, an artificial sun simulator and placed it in heliosykronus orbit outside Earth's atmosphere. NASA technology is very highly advanced and they are able to cloak (hide) are real solar sun. Are real sun is not white but more yellow in color. Because the sun is 93 million miles away, they are able to completely cover the real solar sun, the device also has lenses that bend light like a prism, but hear is how you can see the real solar sun and the fake sun.
1.) You will need (2) pairs of sunglasses.
UV sunglasses with the darker tint on the upper part of the lenses work excellent.
2.) While wearing one pair of sunglasses close one eye and look at the sun, hold the other pair of sunglasses 10 inches in front of the other pair. Slowly bring the the other pair closer closer to your eye like a telescope. You will see 2 suns. One will appear white, the fake sun, the other will be yellow, are real solar sun. They may appear a different color depending on the tinted color of your sunglass lense. If you do this technique correctly, you will see 2 suns. The solar sun and the fake sun.
This is the honest truth.
NASA explain !?
909762
>>752424690
HI I'M GEORGE ZIMMER THIS FLESHY FEATURE FORMERLY YOUR FIANCE FLOPS FASTENED TO MY PHALLUS CONDOM-LIKE FULLY ENGORGED FINISHED FINALLY A BURSTING BALLOON OF VISCERA SPEWING GULLET GLOOPING WHITE BILE UPON YOU WHILE MY MAMMOTH'S TUSK VENTRILOQUIZES HER MAW SOFTLY MOUTHING INTO YOUR EAR AT 03:34 AM OR ELSE YOUR MUMPH WILL CAPSIZE INTO THE ARCHES OF LITHUANIA:
"You're gonna like the way you look in the next 124 years, I guarantee it."
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Is this how you do it ~desu
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THAT FUCKING HEAD!!!!
little ari is vexed with dry bum:
all this dancing is chapping her butt!
are you kidding me you little piece of shit i’ll have you know i graduated top of my politics class and i’ve been involved in privilege checking with over 150 confirmed political demonstrations i’m trained in conflict resolution and i was the most oppressed person in my entire upper middle class high school you are nothing to me but another cultural appropriator i will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which have never been seen on this side of the 49th parallel mark my words you think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet think again fucker, as we speak i’m checking with my anarcho-communist analyst brigade for your location so you better be prepared to deal with some molotov cocktails and angry feminists flying through your window yOU’RE FUCKING DEAD CHERRY i can be anywhere at any time and i can kill you in over seven hundred ways and that’s just with me boring you to death while i talk about privilege not only am i extensively trained in hotline management but i have access to an entire arsenal of sociological articles to prove my point and i will use them to wipe your fucking face off the earth you little shit if only you had known what oppressed retribution your cultural appropriation would unleash then maybe you would have held your fucking tongue but you couldn’t you’re fucking dead kiddo
How exactly does one get pussy while living at the white house as a teenage boy? The secret service always cock blocking you. when you're trying to run game on some foreign prime ministers daughter the news media catches you smiling at her and immediately blows shit out if proportion speculating that you are somehow breaking international law with your awkward teenage flirting, so you have to testify before congress that you didn't give away any top secret documents to her and are made to admit live on C-SPAN that you've never even kissed a girl . Then you get blue balls from some hot conservative girl winking at you and flashing her panties under her skirt and making sexy faces and blow job motions to you while you were going through some airport or public event, and when you passed by and shook her hand she leans in whispering she is going to diddle her clit thinking about you tonight and how much she wants to suck your dick off, just to fuck with you. Then you try to look up some porn when you get home just to relieve the tension but you just know the CIA is monitoring and 3 other govornment agencies are watching you beat off. Then you finally break down and Jack off in the shower which sets off some fucking biohazard drain alarm and the entire place is on lock down until they can find the source of the specimen and you end up getting debriefed by the joint chiefs of staff about your masturbatory habits and how you almost created a national security issue with your dick. Then wikileaks leaks your search history showing you looked up penis enlargement techniques when it was actually just some click bait you'd accidentally clicked and TYT spends all next week talking about your supposed micro penis. So you end up squirming a little since you are so wound up and being judged constantly and now people are saying you look like a fucking mental patient and you start to think you'll never get any pussy.
>>752424690
its a kid that is home sick from school
he has done this before
he is using his mommy's computer so i will just put something fun for his mom to find later
that'll shut him down for a while
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Sonichu. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of autism most of the jokes will go over a typical readers head. There's also the writers nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from the writings of James Joyce, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of the writer, to realize that he's not just autistic- he is saying something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Sonichu truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Chris Chans existencial catchphrase "I HAVE MULTIPLE PAIRS OF DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS," which itself is a cryptic reference to Ulysses. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as the writers genius unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Sonichu tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
/
>>752424695
No transsexuals please. Factory vag only.
>>752425131
>i will just put something fun for his mom to find later
Do tell.
>>752425237
no... it's going to be a surprise
Anonymous quickly slid his copy of the D&D monster manual between his Algebra and bio books and closed his locker door. If he was to survive the afternoon he would have to move quickly. He pulled up his hood, trying to look inconspicuous, and turned around, only to come face to face with the flawless white tabard of the captain of the paladins.
"WHITHER GOEST THOU, KNAVE?!" he demanded, his voice loud despite the muffling of his visored greathelm.
"I was just getting my books, leave me alone." said Anonymous. He felt the hairs rising on the back of his neck; the armored bulk of the members of the Paladin squad blocked the hallway entirely.
"I POSTED AN EDICT BANNING YOU FROM THIS CORRIDOR, KNAVE!" The captain roared. His lieutenant looked up from his breviary and addressed no one in particular:
"METHINKS THE HERETIC LOOKS TO BE SMOTE!"
"NOoooo!" cried Anonymous, dodging away from the tightening circle of paladins. "Leave me alooone!" he yelled as he ran toward the stairway for all he was worth, the clanking of plates against chainmail close behind him.
"SMITE! SMITE! SMITE!" The cry echoed from the concrete walls.
'Somebody heeellllp!" he cried as the paladins lifted him bodily across the school courtyard. At their captain's encouragement they broke into a run.
"SMITE! SMITE! SMITE!" the paladins let anonymous go on the upswing, and for a brief second he was weightless, coasting through the air, until he landed with a squishy thud in the fetid darkness of the cafeteria dumpster.
"THY WILL BE DONE OH LORD," the paladins intoned as they slammed the lid.
Anonymous waited until their hymns of triumph faded in the distance before dragging himself clumsily out, shaking, stained and stinking. He felt he could burst into tears any second, but the varsity cheerwenches were there, giggling at his discomfiture.
>>752424695
Hello Cara.
>>752424730
Already old enough for hugs and kisses.
>>752424801
She looks like she needs to relax. :c
>>752425237
His benis
>>752425297
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Fuck. Typed this for the last Mckayla thread before it died. Whatever. Still relevant I guess.
----
I've been here for too long and I'm too old now I guess. I've lurked and posted for 10 years, since I was in my 20s. Dispite or because of 4chan and /b/ I care more about people then ever.
When I hear she was molested starting at 13, and how there's over 100 cases against this man and that there were people who knew and it was systematically suppressed by MSU, I can't help but think of my young female relatives who are now older than she was and Nassar molesting them and everyone here getting off on it.
I get it. We see celeb threads, revenge threads, rate threads, rape, 10/10 x body part and loli and jailbait threads everyday. You get served up a trough of flesh and fantasy and you can pretend it magically appears before you. A gift from the gods / anons as a never ending stream of pics and vids.
It's easy to forget these are real people staring out at you from the screen. That your fantasies have no place in the real world and would cause tremendous suffering and anguish. That real people exist and it's not just images on a computer screen.
Empathy is in desperately short supply these days. Being able to put yourself in someone's position.
Sometimes I wonder how much of what makes up the inhuman front of /b/ is people knowingly acting out and how much are people, kids likely (or were kids here at one point), who see this behavior and think it's legitimate and take it to heart, thinking that is the true /b/ or whatever. How many radicals and hateful people have we churned out unknowingly?
I dunno. Old man rambling now. The real world shouldn't be like /b/. I guess my confidence that people understand that has been shot.
>>752425381
you might as well post more beta bullshit while you can kid
it's already set and im not removing it
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Andy Sixx's log of shit. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of fecal matter most of the jokes will go over a typical viewers head. Theres also Andys fecal outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Josh Dryden literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that theyre not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Andy Sixx's log of shit truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldnt appreciate, for instance, the humour in Andys existential catchphrase Creamy Steamy Dreamy which itself is a cryptic reference to Coprophilia. Im smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Josh Drydens genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. XD
And yes, by the way, i DO have a Log of shit tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. Its for the ladies eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that theyre within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personal, kid.
>>752425261
More pls, I´ve run out of pics
>>752425651
I think this is the last one I have that isn't too big to post, let me check
>>752425651
little ari goes to the dentist to get
a check up and cleaning but so the
dental specialist say, the proper course
to sanctify her skin tone palate
with the proper tressings is to
alter the opposite end of the
spectrum with a tongueal librum
flick at the tunnel exit, basically,
the cho choo channel to where it
leads and ends, her dirty bum hole!
ari has no reasonings to argue
a specialist's high logic so she
bends over and allows him to
chomp for a few minutes on her
bum hole entrance before she
says her ahs and lets him
work of her white teeth!
>>752425724
Well I guess this is the last one I have
>>752425732
obamas sister
>>752420617
Kevin "A few vodka martinis and I'm feelin' for a weenie" Spacey
Kevin "A little sip of the rum and I go for a little bum" Spacey
Kevin "molested a child drunk on beer now I've come out as queer" Spacey
Kevin "preteen boipucci on the daily" spacey
Kevin "I don't remember trying to suck that boy's member" Spacey
Kevin "The Usual Suspect" Spacey
Kevin "Old Rum and Young Cum" Spacey
Kevin "I've had too much wine but damn that kid's ass looks fine" Spacey
Kevin "Yeah I touched a teen, but it's only cause I had too much Jim Beam" Spacey
Kevin "a glass of wine to hear you whine" Spacey
Kevin "My house, my rules" Spacey
Kevin "likes it spicy" Spacey
Kevin "I drink my spirits neat then use a boy's face like a seat" Spacey
Kevin "I got to play out my fantasy in American Beauty" Spacey
Kevin "I forced myself on a young boy in a mistaken sexual advance so now I've lost a lucrative contract" Spacey
Kevin "If I say I'm gay, being a pedo is okay!" Spacey
Kevin ''Finished that case of beer, time to sodomize that boys rear'' Spacey
Kevin "old cum and young bum " spacey
Kevin "I've had one too many ports so let me reach down your shorts" Spacey
Kevin "I was totally drunk and I didn't even spunk" Spacey
Kevin "If you can't produce semen, I'll leave you screamin" Spacey
Kevin "I may be seeing double but surely this won't get me in trouble" Spacey
Keving "A sip of the gin and I'm at it again" Spacey
Kevin "gonna have a drink, then put it in your stink" Spacey
Kevin "Bottle of liquor then criminal dicker" Spacey
Kevin "don't mix grain and grape or it may end in rape" Spacey
Kevin "I enjoyed getting to squeeze ya but now I seem to have amnesia" Spacey
Kevin "I'm feeling sleazy and you're looking easy" Spacey
Kevin "this is my field, Harvey!" Spacey
>>752425724
>>752425821
Nice, appreciated it
Have a good day, Anon
>>752425922
Kevin "tried to get his dick wet but now filled with regret" Spacey
Kevin "why did this kid wait so long to say I slurped on his schlong?" Spacey
Kevin "I gave him a Schlitz. Why all the fits?" Spacey
Kevin "i didn't even cum not even in his bum" spacey
Kevin "I had a brandy, now I'm feeling randy" Spacey
Kevin "A bit of Heineken and that ass is mine again" Spacey
Kevin "consequences will never be the same" Spacey
Kevin "the unusual suspect" Spacey
Kevin "Roman Polanski" Spacey
Kevin "when he went for a nap, I raped Anthony Rapp" Spacey
Kevin "If you suck my dick, I'll put you in my next flick" Spacey
Kevin "I don't remember raping this 14 year old... BUT it sounds like something I would do. Sorry bro. Im gay now" Spacey
Kevin "You may be fourteen, but I'm an Internet meme!" Spacey
Kevin "The cock stroker and boy prostate poker" Spacey
Kevin "Kid, it's just show biz. Now swallow my jizz" Spacey
Kevin "If I stick it in your ass, you're a new member of the cast" Spacey
Kevin "Gets drunk tries for humps and turns boys hemorrhoids into speed bumps" Spacey
Kevin "He had a Rolling Rock, then I forcefed him my cock" Spacey
Some of Kevin Spacey's best movies; lest we forget. 2017 sequel edition.
American Beauty: Teen Boy Patootie
The Usual Suspects: Unwanted Buttsex
Seven Part 2: Young Boy in the Loo
LA Confidential: Child Rape is Essential
>>752425974
Kevin "You haven't worked long. Take a bite of my schlong" Spacey
Kevin "Didn't know I was gay? Watch out as I spray!" Spacey
Kevin "We'll walk through a meadow. A boy and his pedo" Spacey
Kevin "Have a cocktail. Have a cock in your tail" Spacey
Kevin "When I drink scotch whisky, with boys I get frisky" Spacey
Kevin "it's more fun when they run" Spacey
Kevin "shootin' flicks and suckin' dicks" Spacey
Kevin "how old is fourteen really?" Spacey
Kevin "When I drink too much gin, fucking boys is no sin" Spacey
Kevin 'age of consent is a social construct' Spacey
Kevin "trouble's coming my way, better say that I'm gay" Spacey
Kevin "takin' roles and fillin' holes" Spacey
Kevin "Liquor before beer must've made me a queer" Spacey
Kevin "I was in Call of Duty now give me that booty" Spacey
Kevin "I like the theatre in Jack Nicholsons house, Roman and I got them, quiet like a mouse" Spacey
Kevin "who needs to fap when there's Anthony Rapp" Spacey
Kevin "No van and no candy, just a tumbler of brandy" Spacey
Kevin "my whole life is crumbling down like a House of Cards" Spacey
Kevin "Underage male ass I'll cum in it fast" Spacey
Kevin "Big cums in young bums" Spacey
Kevin "at least no one's gonna confuse me for John Cusack anymore" Spacey
Kevin "Had one too many at happy hour now it's time to find some little boys to deflower" Spacey
Kevin "saying I'm gay is a loophole but I'm ready for more poophole" Spacey
>>752420617
Why do people automatically associate grapefruit knives with
autism? I have a vast shitstain collection, mostly Asian and
rasin turds which seem to be the main tissues, and I don't
scream the fact that this makes me automatic. I'm a virgo, yes,
but enemas actually make me MORE likely to get flaccid. I have
had countless siezures with cute, cute horses in my stables
about the horsebutts I have smelled I have been able to
freak to women for the first hour because they want to know about my
stupid Prius, or my latest Booboo handled cocaine habit. I dream of
meltinga girl called anus so I can say ''I own a Prius butt I want
a cute anus'', that is when I will lose my fuel injection. But I'm
not automatically acting like a cunt to these piss bottles to use as
often as I can. I have many friends who drink it.
We are sitting on her bed, a pile of pillows in our backs. I have my right arm wrapped around her, she's resting her head on my shoulder. The TV is running but neither of us are interested in the program. The remote is too far away and we're just too comfortable to bother. It's not about watching TV anyways. We're happy just being close to each other. I can't help but notice how clean she smells and how perfect her skin looks. As I move my right hand up and down her hip she closes her eyes and it almost seems like she's asleep. I lean back, let out a a satisfied sigh, and close my eyes too. As I pull her closer, I notice a muffled sob. I look down at her. She has buried her face in my shoulder and I can feel it getting a bit damp. I'm worried now. She is shaken by her suppressed sobs.
"What's wrong?" I ask in a concerned voice. "Millie, what's wrong?"
She doesn't answer and just continues crying into my shoulder. I gently touch her chin with my left hand and pull her head up a bit so I can see her red eyes and the tears on her cheeks.
"Millie, what's wrong?" I ask a bit more demanding and a whole lot more worried.
Finally she answers. Her voice is shaking and a bit higher than usual.
"It's just... You know... There's this big pho... photoshoot coming up and I... I'm scared. I'm... really, really scared."
I'm slightly baffled.
"But you've done stuff like that countless times! What's so different this time?"
Still sobbing she says "I've had this... this dream. But not only once. It was about some photoshoot. I was there and... and I was giving my best but... everyone just yelled and told me... I couldn't do anything right. I didn't know what..."
Her crying becomes more intense.
"Anon, I'm scared"
>>752426441
I pull her even closer and she wraps both her arms around me.
"It's not even this particular shoot... It's... you know, it's everything. So much went right for me in the last couple of years. What if it's becoming too much? What if... I can't handle it anymore at some point?"
She cries into my shoulder a little longer while I try to find the right words to calm her down.
"Millie, listen to me! Listen closely. It's not what you do that makes me love you so much. It's who you are. No matter where you are or what you do I'll always be only one call away. And if anyone ever tries to tell you you're not good enough just tell him you're only doing this out of pity for his pathetic little project."
That gets a weak laugh out of her, followed by another sob.
"Do you... really think I could pull that off?"
I look her straight into the eyes.
"Millie, you can pull anything off. You're stronger than you think and I will always be there for you, no matter what. The only thing I ask of you is to always do what makes you happy. Because that's the only thing that matters."
She still sobs but I can feel that it's OK now so I don't say anything more and just hold her tight. Knowing that I could give her some comfort makes me incredibly happy and I could lie here with Millie close to me for the rest of my life. After what felt like a way too short eternity she lifts her head again and looks at me with her tear-stained eyes. Then, out of the blue she kisses me on the mouth. It's a short, shy kiss but I know what she's trying to say. It's pure, unfiltered gratefulness and I don't know if I deserve that much love from her. She gently places her right hand on my chest and makes circular motions that ever so slightly move towards my stomach and then my pants. She reaches for my zipper.
>>752426487
"Millie, you don't have to..." but before I can complete my sentence she quietly says
"I know... but didn't you just say I should do what makes me happy? Well, this makes me happy."
And before I can say anything more than "Is this really..." she has my shaft in her hand. She slowly strokes up and down. She's gentle and her every touch sends shivers down my spine, whether it's her thumb circling on my glans after every upstroke or her other hand gently fondling my testicles. Soon it's too much for me to handle. I moan and try to relax my muscles to stop myself from having an orgasm. Finally I can build up the strength to take both her hands into mine.
"Hold on a second" I weakly say. She looks shocked. Her eyes are still red from all the crying and it looks like she's going to start all over again.
"Oh no... Did I do anything wrong?" she shakingly asks.
"What? No... no it's not that. Not stopping you now would have just felt totally selfish!" I calmly say. "This feels too good not to share it, that's all."
>>752426526
"What do you m... ohhh" she moans as I slide my right hand under her skirt. I'm not surprised she's wet. I can feel the moisture through her panties. I move my hand underneath them and she tensens all her muscles. I notice her wet pubes between my fingers as I circle them around her pubis and her opening. It feels like she trims them rather than shaving. As I fondle her sex I'm careful not to touch her clitoris as that would probably send her over the edge at once. Instead I just move my fingers up and down her labia which seems to make her lose her mind. After two minutes she is already panting and sweating and from time to time she throws her head from one side to the other. I move my other hand up her shirt while simultaneously removing her skirt and panties. The little triangle of trimmed pubic hair above her vulva is now clearly visible and a small stain of moisture is forming on the bedsheets right underneath it. My other hand pulls up her shirt and I notice she's not wearing a bra. There's not a lot to fill it with anyways. Her developing breasts are in an early stage. They're recognizable for what they are but barely noticeable through a shirt.
>>752426559
It's time for me to switch hands. As I stop stroking her labia for a moment she moans with disappointment but quickly starts to pant again as I use my other hand on her vulva now. My right hand is still wet from her moisture and as soon as I start fondling her rock hard nipples with it she becomes almost ecstatic. The lubrication makes them even more sensitive.
"Anon... I... I... Oh god..." she moans. This is obviously a new experience for her. She's close so I stop all stimulation. A squeak of frustration escapes her throat.
"Ouuhhh... Why... don't... you....?" she moans before I kiss her on her lips and whisper "Together"
>>752426618
She understands immediately and grabs my still erect penis again. I carefully slide two fingers inside her while she continues masturbating me. My right hand plays with her nipples again and right as I feel my orgasm approaching I place my thumb on Millie's clitoris and move it with slight pressure, catapulting her over the edge into a mind shattering experience. We both orgasm at the same time and it's the most intense feeling I have ever felt. Nothing can compare and as my whole body shakes with spasms beyond comparison I can feel Millie's vulva tighten around my fingers. She almost screams with pure, uncontained lust. Even long after my own orgasm has subsided she is still rocking back and forth, moaning like crazy. I feel it's not over for her yet so I keep up the stimulation of her labia, clitoris and nipples. With every stroke she grabs and releases the bedsheets with her hands and it now dawns to me that this isn't merely a single orgasm, this must be her third or fourth. Right as I am beginning to think it's never going to stop she lets out a short shriek, throwing her hips up with wide open eyes and mouth before falling limp back in the sheets. She's trembling, unable or unwilling to move. I carefully remove my fingers from her vulva which is now bright red. Compared to the puddle of her fluids on the bed my sperm-stained shirt is barely noticeable. I know I have to give her some time to come to her senses so I lean back into the pillows. After a minute she finally manages to shakingly wrap her arms around me again. She lays down on her side, pressing her warm, naked body against my side. I can feel her trembling and as I look at her I notice she's crying again. This time it's different though. She doesn't seem too upset.
"Anon... I don't..." she sobs. "I didn't know it could get so... I mean, I thought I was dying."
With my right hand I gently touch her soft stomach.
"I know... This was beyond... everything"
"Was it... was it wrong?" she quietly asks. Her sobbing becomes more intense and it looks a bit like she's ashamed of herself. I smile and looking her straight into the eyes I ask "Did it make you happy?"
She calmly says "It did make me happy, Anon. Thank you."
"All I ever wanted is for you to be happy."
I kiss Millie on her forehead. She is already half-asleep.
It doesn't take long until I fall asleep too. So wonder, this whole experience was pretty exhausting. Amazing, but exhausting. As I wake up I regret not keeping us awake.
6. It's around 11PM and it's obvious that we're not going to get our sleep rhythm in order for days to come. I don't feel like getting up just now though. Millie's naked body
7. is still pressed to my side and my right hand rests on her hip. I know I should probably try to wake her up so I start caressing her behind, her hips, her stomach... I
8. stay clear of her Vulva though. I suspect it's still to sensitive to touch. After all, it's only been four hours since she's been violently shaken by several orgasms that
9. left her trembling and immobilized. My gentle hand all over her young body doesn't wake her up immediately. Instead, it sends shivers down her sipne. I can feel her getting
10. goosebumps. Her arms around my neck pull my into a tight hug and finally she opens her sleepy eyes. After a moment of confusion, she looks at me with a weak smile.
11. "Hey..." I say and pull her close. "How are you? Did you sleep well?"
12. Her smile becomes wider. She's definitely awake now. I don't think I have ever seen her happier. She doesn't say anything though. After a few moments of looking at each
13. other we lean back again. She kisses me on the cheek and the quickly gets up. I stay in bed just a little longer and watch her go through some drawers to get dressed. Her
14. body is in full view and I enjoy the sight of her juvenile, developing breasts and the little patch of pubic hair that has been trimmed so neatly.
15. "You know, this isn't your room, right? I don't think you're gonna find anything that fits." I jokingly say.
16. "Just wait and see" she smirks over her shoulder. She finally manages to put on one a pair of my blue checkered boxer shorts and a white T-Shirt that's way too large for
17. her.
"That should do the trick" she says. "It's not like we're gonna go outside, is it?"
24. I chuckle. "Probably not, it's almost midnight. I think I need a shower though. Are you hungry?"
25. She takes some time before finally saying "Yeah... I could use a snack. What do you want to get?"
26. I look at my watch. "Well... it's not too late to order some Pizza. How about that? A large Pizza from Giovanni's."
27. I take her wide smile as a yes.
28. "OK, I'm gonna order right now. It's gonna take half an hour, enough for a nice shower."
29. Five minutes later the order is placed and I'm in the bathroom, undressing. Millie is watching some late night show with a gay host on TV. I can't help but think about the
30. last afternoon and as I do so my Penis springs to life again. That doesn't feel right though. I don't want to remember this day as an amazing sexual adventure, I'd much
31. rather remember how much I love Millie. After all, I did what I did to make her feel less scared about the future. The grateful look in her eyes was more of a reward than
32. any orgasm. I just enjoy our time together and I'd do so without ever touching her in a sexual way. I just felt like the right think to do though, and Millie seems to agree
33. with me. The moment the cool water hits my body I feel more relaxed and satisfied than ever. I know how lucky I am to have Millie in my life but I'm also aware of the
34. respnsibilites. I'm in charge of her now so I am responsible for keeping her safe. I am responsible for encouraging her in pursuing happiness. I am responsible for making
35. her a good person. Though I think she already is. I'm convinced of that. Millie is a kind-hearted and innocent being and I intend to keep it that way for her own sake.
36. My whole body is aching. The explosive orgasm has really taken it's toll. I turn up the heat a bit and the warm water is soothing. I feel my muscles relax. I close my eyes
but open them immediately when I hear Millie's voice right next to me.
38. "Do you want me to help you with that?"
39.
40.
41. --
42.
43.
44. She is standing right next to the shower, looking at me with her big, loving eyes.
45. "Um... what do you mean?" I'm a bit confused.
46. "Heh, silly. If you're as sore as I am you're gonna have trouble reaching some parts of yourself with that soap."
47. I try to reach my own lower back and find it close to impossible.
48. "You're right." I admit. "So... you want to come in?"
49. She has already taken off her (my) shirt and she now drops her shorts. Once again I'm struck by her beauty. The way she moves is so elegant, even without any clothes on.
50. Or, especially without any clothes on?
51. "Hmmm this feels so good" she quietly says as the warm water hits her.
52. "Right?" I agree. "We gotta keep track of time a bit though. The pizza boy is not gonna wait for us to finish."
53. She smirks. "Don't worry. I'm gonna make it quick."
54. Millie grabs the soap and proceeds to run it all over my back. I just stand there, enjoying her presence, thinking about how I don't deserve such a kind, loving being.
55. Millie is simply too good for me but I believe she thinks the same way about me. Maybe that means we're made for each other. Who knows?
56. "All done" she says and runs her hand down my back one last time. I stretch my arms and turn around. Once again her beauty hits me like a train. Especially now that her
57. body is all wet she looks so perfect in every way.
58. "OK, now it's your turn." I say. "Turn around"
I take the soap and rub it between my hands. Then I run the bar of soap over her back while massaging her shoulders with my soapy hand. I have to bend down a bit since she
65. only reaches up to my upper arms. She seems to like it.
66. After I'm done I gently grab her shoulders and turn her around. She hasn't had a chance to wash her front yet so I repeat the procedure. I'm careful not to touch her vulva
67. and nipples too roughly as I suspect they're still a bit sore. I must have guessed right because even the lightest touch on her nipples makes her flinch. Her soft, hairless
68. armpits are the last part of her body I wash. Kneeling down to be a bit below her eye level, I smile at her. My hands are already missing the perfection of her body but I
69. try to pull myself together.
70. "I'm gonna get out now, Millie." I tell her. "I guess the pizza is gonna come any moment and I don't want to open the door with a towel around my waist."
71. "Wait..." she says. "Don't you want me to... you know...?"
72. Obviously she has noticed my erection.
73. I pull her into a gentle hug, my right hand petting her behind.
74. "Not now." I whisper into her ear. "I think we've had enough of that for one day. I know you're sore. I'm too. Take as long as you want though. I'll be in the living room."
Before she can say anything else I press my lips on hers and leave the shower. I quickly dry myself with a towel and head over to my bedroom to get dressed. Just like for
81. Millie a pair of boxers and a t-shirt will do fine for me too. Next I go down into the living room and sit down on the sofa. Millie has left the TV on and the gay host ist
82. still rambling about how President Comacho is going to ruin America by promoting Mountain Dew as a healthy alternative to water. I should probably tell Millie to turn the
83. TV off when she leaves the living room. It's a waste of energy and a fire hazard. I'm pathetically over-protective… I hear Millie turning off the shower. Just in time. The
84. doorbell rings.
85. Millie has put on her shorts and shirt again and we're sitting on the sofa together, "enjoying" one of those Steven Seagal movies they play all night on local TV stations.
86. We laugh about cheesy one-liners and poorly shot action sequences, but really, we're not enjoying the movie, we're enjoying each other. We're both aware of that. I'm done
87. eating first. Millie is still busy with her last slice as I put my legs up and wrap my arm around her. She leans against me.
88. "I'm gonna wash the dishes!" she yells. I'm a bit surprised.
89. "You don't have to... But it's nice that you've gotten some of your energy back."
90. She frowns. "Oh come on Anon, let me do it. It's not gonna take long."
91.
>>752426830
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where the f*ck are 1-5?
I smile and she takes it as a yes. She takes our used plates in one hand and almost sprints over to the kitchen, doing some of her kick boxing moves on the way.
97. "Hey... easy there." I yell after her. "I don't want you to break anything and hu..."
98. But it has already happened. I can hear the sound of shattering plates from the kitchen. I jump up immediately and hurry over just to find Millie on her hands and knees
99. trying to pick up all the shards. I notice she hasn't only broken the two plates but also several cups I have put on the counter to dry earlier today. The tiny bit of anger
100. I feel rising in my throat is quickly washed away by worry. She doesn't wear any socks or shoes so this is a dangerous situation.
101. "Stay where you are." I say. Careful not to step into the shards I pick her up and carry her over to the living room. She has an expression of mild shock and overwhelming
102. guilt on her face.
103. "I..." she tries to apologize but I cut her short.
104. "Don't worry. Please just go to your room and wait for me there. We're gonna talk once I'm done cleaning up around here."
105. "But can't I..." she starts just before I cut her short again. Now that she's not in immediate danger of cutting herself anymore I feel a bit of anger again.
106. "No. Go upstairs now."
107. She looks down on her feet and complies without saying another word.
Cleaning up is a matter of five minutes but I take ten just to be sure there aren't any shards left. After I'm done I go to the downstairs bathroom and sit down on the
114. closed toilet seat. With a deep sigh I close my eyes. What am I supposed to do now? I have to do something. Talk to her of course, but I think that won't do. This isn't the
115. first time something like this has happened. It's her energy and liveliness combined with her uncaring attitude. I don't want to take her energy and her fragile confidence
116. from her but I have to make her understand that she might hurt herself that way. With another sigh I open the top drawer under the sink and take out Millie's hairbrush. I
117. hate myself for even considering this. My anger has long subsided but I think I really have to make her understand that she is responsible for her own well-being. I take
118. the hairbrush into my right hand and smack my own leg with it to try and find the right amount of force.
119.
Five minutes later I enter her bedroom. She jumps from her bed and tries to apologize again but I don't react. I can see that she's been crying. Instead I just sit on the
125. side of her bed and pat on the sheets next to me. She sits down and I wrap my arm around her. This calms her down a lot.
126. "Millie, please be quiet until I'm done talking, alright?"
127. She nods.
128. "OK... When I was a child I dropped a glass and stepped into it. It hurt like hell and the infection I got was just nasty. But... you know I never dropped a glass ever
129. again. Because I didn't want to feel that kind of pain again. It helped me remember. I don't want you to get hurt but you have to learn to be more careful. If you had cut
130. yourself I had driven you to the hospital and you would have learned a valuable lesson. But you haven't. I'm not angry. I love you and because I love you I have to help you
131. remember to be more careful."
132. I produce the hairbrush from my back pocket. She looks a bit anxious and confused but remains quiet.
133. "I can't and I'd never come up here and cut your feet up to teach you a lesson. But pain can be a good thing. This is only gonna hurt for a day or two but it's gonna help
134. you remember for a long time."
135. Millie's eyes grow wide.
136. "It'll only be six swats. Three for each cheek." I say "And I'm not doing it because I'm angry. But I also won't discuss this with you."
137. My insides are twisting. I don't want to do this. But now that I've said it I have to go through with it. Millie is shaking. She's obviously trying to stop herself from
138. crying.
"I'm... sorry... I'm... sorry" she mutters. I pull her into a, hopefully, comforting hug.
145. "Don't" I say "I already told you I'm not angry. I'm sorry I have to do this. Now, pull down those shorts. Down to your ankles."
146. She complies. My shirt is too long for her so it covers her front almost like a dress.
147. "Good. Now bend over the bed right next to me."
148. She lays down on her stomach and I pull her a bit closer to the bedside. Her knees don't quite reach the ground. Her behind now sticks out and is easy to hit.
149. "Stretch your arms forward, grab the sheets. I don't want you to cover or rub your cheeks before I'm done. And please don't wiggle or jump too much."
150. "OK" she whispers in between suppressed sobs.
151. For a moment I rest my hand on Millie's firm buttocks. I take a deep breath.
"One" I say and bring down the hairbrush on her right cheek exactly as I have practiced it on myself. She shrieks and tries to jump forward but I hold her in place. I don't
158. like this at all but I mustn't stop now.
159. "Two" I hit her left cheek and she shrieks again but this time she doesn't wiggle. She's shaking pretty badly now and for the first time in my life I understand the phrase
160. 'This hurts me more than it hurts you'.
161. "Three" As I hit her already bright red right cheek she starts crying like a little child. It's almost unbearable but I say "I'm sorry. You're halfway through."
162. "Four" She now tries to muffle her cries by pressing her face into the bedsheets.
163. "Five" I hit her right cheek for the third and this seems to be too much for her. She is reduced to a sobbing child.
164. "Six" She flinches but doesn't react otherwise, probably because she's already crying as hard as she can. She stays in position, shaking from her loud sobs.
165. "It's... it's over Millie..." I say "You can rub now if that helps. I... I'll be back in a minute"
166. I'm glad she's not looking at me. I don't want her to see me basically fleeing from her room. I head over to my bedroom and sit down on the bed. With a blank expression I
167. stare at the wall. I deeply regret having hurt Millie that way and I feel even worse about just leaving her there all on her own. But I just need a minute to pull myself
168. together.
Five minutes later I knock on her door and after waiting for a reply that doesn't come I open it carefully. Millie is lying on her bed, still shaking. She has pulled up her
175. knees to her chin so I can see what I've done pretty well. The hairbrush has left three partially overlapping but distinguished marks on each buttcheek. They're bright red.
176. Thank God. I thought I had overdone it but she doesn't seem to have any serious bruises.
177. "Don't you... want to put on your shorts again?" I quietly ask.
178. "I can't" she replies equally quiet.
179. I walk over to her and lie down next to her. She turns to her other side to face away from me.
180. "I'm so sorry Millie" I whisper. Carefully I try to touch her behind. It's swollen and hot in some places. She flinches a bit and her crying gets more intense again.
181. "You should hate me now." I sigh.
182. "No." she whispers. "I'm so sorry I broke the plates Anon."
183. "I told you that's not what it's about. You could have seriously injured yourself."
184. I rest my hand on her upper arm.
185. "If there's anyone you should apologize to it's yourself."
186. She nods weakly. "I'm tired"
187. "Hi tired... I'm Anon" I whisper. She doesn't laugh and I feel stupid.
188. "Is it bad?" I ask.
189. She nods again. I sigh.
