Waifu claiming thread.
Previous:>>713315791
Rules:
>Claim your Waifu/Husbando
>No Claiming Waifus/Husbandos that have already been claimed
>Only one claim per anon
>No stealing (unless trips or more)
>No oversexualised content
>No RP/ERP of any kind (maybe some on occasion)
>Discussion is welcomed
>Insults must be original
>If you're posting images you're not lurking
>3D is almost always trash
>Joining means a reserved place in hell
>Most importantly, have fun!
Rory-sama claimed
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ztCA4bxNrQ
Avatarfags get out of my thread
My wife.
>>713325879
Carbonation is the safer option as not as many people are lactose intolerant.
Claimed.
>>713326172
So is your fake tryhard attitude of politeness, when you were the one posting niggers and shitty memes whenever you had the opportunity.
>>713325775
Nonsense! and if it's something like that, keeping it between those in such an act rather than telling everybody would be better anyway if it were really love.
>>713326074
Shirley U. Jestin
>>713326166
Carbing isn't still all healthy, nor is any real "diet" thing people do.
>>713326229
It's just a quick lil mention, not like I'm writin an erotic novel. It's pretty normal for couples to talk about such things.
And that must be your name since I aint jestin.
>>713326191
I find it funny, doesn't mean I'm harsh.
Not everyone has the same liking. Laugh or not, it's whatever to them.
>>713326166
Carbonated milk
Kurome is claimed.
>>713324553
No lol you can't have any of my cookies.
Kakyoin claimed.
-grace-
>>713326402
Forgot to put a pic
>>713326402
Not like that though, not at all!
Thou must be attempting to humor me!
>>713326412
You're not harsh, Sanae
You are boring.
>>713326172
Why aren't you dead yet
>>713326571
I'm just sayin that we do fun things together. If anything I'm way on the tame side here compared to most couples I know.
>>713326172
I think you're a good person
>>713326439
I didn't ask....
But they're delicious.
>>713326584
I plainly know that, not much I can say that's interesting.
I'm sorry you can't get any reactions from me, but you do a good job from some here.
>>713326713
Because she's awesome.
>>713326867
Thank you anon. Appreciate that.
>>713326985
no problem friend
>>713326900
Good answer.
>>713326737
You don't speak very tame though to be fair, you should make it vague!
>>713326384
Its just using the lemonade to settle nausea. Diets are horrible.
>>713326417
That is a thing in Asia
>>713326900
How do you know what they taste like? Did you steal some behind my back?
>>713325234
Dostoevsky.
>>713325341
Aka a cave spider aka a whip spider aka amblypygi.
>>713327112
Seems pretty vague to me. I've barley said any details at all!
>>713327318
Thats a small one. Which one is that?
>>713327044
Do you come around here?
>>713327081
Thanks, are you the same one I spoken to long ago?
>>713327311
Perhaps, or maybe I ate them before somewhere else.
>>713327207
Doesn't seem like the best solution due to it's PH levels.
>>713327347
Everybody knows where you were going with it though!
>>713327438
I'd say it's likely, since I've been on these threads for almost a year now.
>>713327438
I'm here pretty often
>>713327486
PH levels are nonsense.
>>713327419
Alphonopelma chalcodes, known as the Arizona blonde. It's still a spiderling, I got it on Friday. Unsexed because it's still a ways off from maturing enough to tell.
>>713327574
That is what you say until you get excruciating stomach ache.
>>713327495
It aint like it's a big secret or nothin like that
>>713327486
Trust in my 9 years of personal experience.
>>713327574
PH levels mean something when you drink it.
>>713327597
Do you have a name picked out?
>>713327534
Uh, interesting, I know of Dio, but not you, I've been here for a long time as well.
>>713327562
Have we spoken in the past?
I have a felling but not sure.
>>713327744
at one point
>>713327726
It was prior to you speaking of such.
>>713327733
A sentimental one, but yes.
Sup faggots
>>713327733
I don't know, I trust in my common sense and medical degrees more.
>>713327681
You're not going to buy a bottled brand of water and "measure it for PH' that's just not something you do.
Water is water. You shouldn't be worrying about what you're drinking from the stores unless you're a tinfoil hat man.
>>713327733
See above.
>>713327828
I mean, I've got a stunningly beautiful wife, it was pretty much a given anyway before I said anything
>>713327744
Oh, I never claimed Dio.
Sorry to bother, but I've been with Kakyoin from the start.
Guess I'll be seeing you..
>>713327900
Water is water, but something like coffee or lemonade tea sure as hell ain't water, of course it's PH levels will be higher.
>>713327786
Umm, Mano? Translate that.
>>713327989
Ah, okay, nice to have speak to you, see ya around.
>>713328051
You act like drinking it is going to poison you.
Just balance it out by eating some cashews or something.
>>713327940
>stunningly beautiful phony.
But nonsense, regardless you should not speak of such!
>>713328101
I can't
>>713327900
Oh I dont worry. But I will check a MSDS as to how much damage a chemical will do.
>>713327871
Everyone reacts differently. Sonetimes the correct and regular approach doesn't work. Especially with autoimmunes. Ive tried so many different ways to prevent nausea and carbonated drinks are the fastest acting and least likely to fail for me.
>>713327829
Thats always good. Though not sure if a sentimental name is a good pick.
>>713327438
Don't come near me or my cookies ever again.
>>713328148
Well, keeping with vagueness, we're gonna do "such" and then catch some sleep.
G'night.
>>713328128
It's not poisoning you, but if you're already feeling horrible it's better to dismiss such things, same as eating chili food when you're having a grand shit-fest of diarrhea, no?
>>713328202
True that, but plain water is still the best thing out there to solve such things.
>>713328202
Everything about it is sentimental.
>>713328302
Forgot pic
>>713328160
Oh, are you Hand?
>>713328206
Oh okay, I won't.
>>713328302
You're still speaking of it!
but g'night to you then.
>>713328406
pretty far off
>>713328468
Some hint, please?
>>713328318
I start with water. Drinking a lot of that through the day.
>>713328327
Well then I hope they bring you good memories as well.
>>713328406
Is Konata or Sachi you fucking retard.
I know you are slow and not so bright, but is pretty obvious.
>>713328569
Good choice all in all, better for the teeth and stomach.
>>713328569
It will, yes.
>>713328545
I've been around since Spring
>>713327534
>Almost a year
Shut the fuck you you lying cunt.
The oldfags are all almost gone, and you're not old. Stop lying to make yourself look better. You're just a newfag obsessed with Chen.
>>713328607
not me :o
bullying is wrong
My wife!
>>713328607
Sachii posts pics when he types to me. And Konata fell asleep.
So....
Also such insult for an innocent question.
>>713328718
Um, 20/20?
>>713328914
She's adorable.
>>713328878
Sure thing, you lying faggot. Stop making fun of stupid people who can't even tell anons apart from others.
>>713329027
Eh, you sure are slow minded.
>>713328771
Why the hell do people even claim to be oldfags?
That's like applying to be retarded for fame points.
>>713329031
sure
everyone who doesn't post pics is me right?
>Stop making fun of stupid people who can't even tell anons apart from others.
I'm not making fun of you
kakero
>>713329098
I don't care, now stop replying to me, guy who takes this thread too seriously and cares about his reputation too much.
>>713329084
Whatever, your assumption.
>>713329027
I would keep giving you hints but it's almost 3:30 AM and I need to at least try to get some sleep
Have a good day
>>713328406
Good girl.
You can have this pocky instead.
>>713328771
One year isn't even old
>>713329314
who are you? :o
>>713329151
>I'm not making fun of you
No need to be that rude, you sad cunt.
First get a job and pay your own debts. All you do is sit on a PC 24/7 like a depressed human being with life that you are, posting in a shitty thread filled with nothing else than boring people, that's why you probably feel comfortable.
Because you realise you're not the only shitty human in this who keeps losing his time at a computer instead of soing something productive.
>>713329247
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWdd6_ZxX8c
>>713329314
Sleep well.
>>713329317
Umm, okay.
Thank you.
I got to say, when did you join here?
>>713329501
Oh, I forgot that you and Hand-cunt are alike and you can't even reply with something logical, only repetition and shitty answers.
Sorry to tought you are smarter. In the end, you're just a faggot with bad taste in music and drinking problems.
That's the truth, not only my opinion.
>>713329361
same
i created the first waifu thread
>>713329450
i'm sorry the truth hurts your feels
yes im a boring person who takes these threads too seriously or whatever
i still love you xx
>>713329758
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0CtDbl3hL6k
>>713328640
>went to brush teeth
>next to no toothpaste
Good to know people tell me these things.
>>713328676
So how are they all? The other large cuddly settled in yet?
Wow. Chens on the warpath tonight.
>>713329700
Love these implications, you clearly aren't subscribed to my feed.
>>713329821
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0CtDbl3hL6k
>Sorry the requested media could not be found.
Faggot.
>>713329847
You clearly aren't a smart man.
Now get the fuck out and get drunk or something.
>>713329942
it was chen marry me.mp3 :o
>>713329830
It's always good to follow the necessary things.
>>713329999
Nor are you memelordchen420, but I take that as a compliment, thank you.
>>713329999
YOU MEAN GET THOSE DIGITS
>>713330016
Do you do that writing on a tablet?
Pretty good writing.
>>713329999
Checked, nice.
>>713329999
Checked
>>713330128
>nor are you
>assuming that I'm not smart over a simple conversation with me on a thread
Wow, you sure are a judgemental cunt who assumes a lot of things really fast, aren't you?
What a phony.
>>713330016
like me sachi
>>713329830
Nah, he is still getting settled. It'll probably be a few days.
>>713330191
i didn't do it
it was the image.jpg guy who doesn't bully people
>>713330271
who are you?
>>713330266
Oh, no, I'm not thinking anything about you.
You are the one judging, no?
>>713329647
7AM
November 21, 2016.
>>713330338
fight me sachi
>>713330338
im me
>>713330351
Nope, you just said that I'm not smart.
What a guy you are. Insulting people over the internet like its nothing.
Don't throw stones if you live in a house of glass.
>>713330426
i like you me
>>713330409
no
Somebody say this for me, "I am a sick man, I am a wicked man, an unattractive man. I think my liver hurts."
>>713330492
incite me sachi
Never seen a more cancerous collection of faggots in my life.
>>713330450
Not at all, I just find it funny that you're trying to pick drama over me.
>>713330276
Hopefully he gets used to it soon.
>>713330128
I was neglectful in the past and I regret it now.
>>713330596
I find it funny that you are a fucking alcoholic.
Trash of society.
>>713330652
Well, not like we pay the dentists for nothing.
>>713330652
He will. It was a traumatic day for him.
hug me chen
>>713330697
sachi
>>713330720
Saying that to a person who drinks maybe once in 2 months.
You really know nothing.
smite me sachi
>>713330338
>
Mine is crap.
That's nice of him.
>>713330402
Nice you remember. You come on around this time?
>Mami
I wonder if I can get a hug from Chen too.
Wait just a fucking minute. Is that Wastelander?
>>713330839
>You really know nothing
Oh, how I love these implications.
Go ahead, give me more of them.
>>713330892
>>713330825
Shut the fuck up.
>mfw
It's not funny anymore Chen.
>>713330916
Not Wastelander, but I get mistaken for him very often.
>>713330944
When was the last time you even saw me around?
>>713330884
Hey, thats pretty gay
>>713330892
you need to get chen to assume everything about you first
he's tsun
>>713330977
add me on discord
>>713331004
*hug*
>>713330892
Mm! Nights are peaceful and quiet. It's nice to meet you, Mami.
>>713330977
S-sorry.
Things Waifu claimers will NEVER have
>sex
>a girlfriend
>pillows that don't have drawings of little girls printed on them
>pillows free of semen stains
>fingers free of cheeto stains
>a clean shaven neck
>social skills
>>713331010
That's because you're posting Wastelander's fucking avatar.
Avatarfags get out of my thread
>>713331004
Is not funny to be an autistic guy either, but you keep going with it.
>>713331122
Just the general gas-mask theme.
Besides Captain makes for some good dystopian avatar.
I awaken from a terrible nightmare around 8pm, the usual hour in which my slumber comes to a halt, albeit somewhat earlier. I obviously have a productive time ahead of me, being up at this hour. I turn myself over and kiss my Waifu pillow, landing my lips on a spot deprived of my dried-up ejaculate. As per usual, I begin to whine and scream for my mother. I require a nurtrituous meal of Tyson brand frozen chicken nuggets and Mountain Dew, and based on the smell emanating from my size 42 adult diaper, I will also need a change. I use what little energy I have to push my buzz lightyear bedsheets off, and roll myself out of bed, crushing several piss bottles in the process. Luckily, I can kill two birds with one stone by taking my biweekly shower tonight, so I can wash off the piss and also gain 10 big boy points from mommy. I waddle over to the bulletin board, and a smirk begins to form on my face as I realize I have acquired 100 big boy points, enough for a new anime body pillow. I plop 320 pound ass on to my computer chair, causing the shit in my adult diaper to spill out on the basement floor beneath me. I brush the roaches off of my LED lit mechanical keyboard and load up 4chan. As soon as I load up the latest "waitu claiming thread", mother walks down to the basement
Part 1
>>713331038
Yup, not really good at writing,
I'm surprised I could write essays from that writing.
>>713331050
Um, I think you replied to wrong person.
Anyways, that's great, who have you met before?
Nice to have met you as well, I plan to post more often after a long absence.
>>713331038
Well, I'm a nice person, a bit aloof and inconsiderate at times. I constantly have to apologize to the people that are closest to me because I don't want to lose them. I like cake and lasagna, hiking in the mountains, I love people even though I'm a loner. I don't know.
>>713330884
see >>713331050 sorry for the mislink.
>>713331217
I'm just saying. That's specific to him and it's confusing to see and not have the corresponding poster.
>>713331217
God knows when I saw you last time.
I don't visit this place as often as you do.
>>713331050
Cute
>>713331293
She strategically maneuvers herself through the maze of piss bottles and shit jugs until she makes it to my desk. I am her precious son, earning so many big boy points I could be on the NASDAQ. She bows before me and presents tonights meal. It isn't what I was expecting, on the tray sits a great value paper plate, adorned with Tostitos Pizza rolls and a red solo cup of Dr. Pepper. Anger swells within me, causing my face to turn red. I twist my cheeto stained neckbeard hair and ponder what her consequence will be for this disappointment. I decide to drop it, as the meal will suffice. I brush a group of roaches off of my monitor and browse the latest Waifu claiming thread, and remind her to leave her credit card so I can order another body pillow to spray my seed upon. I turn around and see her grabbing my beloved Miku pillow, I become overwhelmed with rage, I stand up from my computer chair and begin to approach her. Suddenly, I trip over 2 liter of Mountain Dew that I filled with piss last year, and my fat, unshowered body crashes into the basement floor beneath me. It seemed to happen in slow motion. I hear the "crunch" roaches crushed under my man boobs. I happened to fall in a particular spot where I keep most of my shit jugs and piss bottles. I am completely soaked in old piss and shit
Pt 2
>>713331304
I met Akame, she's the whole reason why I joined /waifu/ and I met Haruhi, she's an obsessive stalker.
>>713331395
S-senpai noticed!?
>>713331304
neither am i
>>713331349
how much of a fag are you?
>>713331369
Quite the same as the 5 different posters posting that cat with the hat in gfur?
Besides Wastelander is pretty dead, or in mlpchan, or God knows where.
>>713331395
I don't really know, the last time I came around was like 2 months ago, I could ask Ruri or Homura about that, considering the other one is your loved one, no?
>>713326019
>>713331428
I gaze down upon my body. I am completely naked expect for my adult diaper, the content of which has been emptied onto my thighs and back. My stomach extends forward so much I cannot see my feet, and my man tits so far I can barely see my stomach. I see the layer of shit, piss, and dead roaches as armor, and imagine myself as a hero in one of my favorite animes. I am trying to save my princess, my Miku body pillow mother is trying to capture. I must save her, she is my only instrument to combat my eternal virginity. I charge at mother, and collide with her, sending her crumbling down onto my mattress. She vomits immediately, because she knows she's lying upon millions of her unborn grand children, in the form of my semen absorbed into my buzz lightyear bedsheets. I lay on top of her, burying her face between my shit-covered man breasts. I pull myself away, and laugh as notice some of the dead roaches have stuck to the shit on her face. I reclaim my previous body pillow and kiss her up and down. I then proceed to expose my tiny Phallus and masturbate onto her, as a display of my power should her or my mother rebel against me once more
Pt 3
>>713331560
a cute
>>713331524
Yes, Ruri is my boyfriend IRL.
You got this right. The reason he broke up with Kirino anon was that he loved my dick too much.
>>713326067
>>713331535
Mother retreats upstairs. I squint my eyes and hiss at the sliver of light creeping in from the basement door. I haven't been to the other parts of the house since last Christmas, when mom told me I had to socialize with the family or get my computer taken away. I imagine my house as a video game map, and think the rest of my house as The Unknown Lands. I also like to imagine my room a castle. I haven't been outside since I was 16, which was about 6 years ago. I live in complete darkness, except for my computer screen, which is always displaying the current Waifu claiming thread. Thinking of last Christmas makes me sweat and feel anxious, I never want to leave my castle. I remember walking up the steps. And trying to adjust my eyes to light. Mother made me wear a red Christmas sweater and some sweat pants. I walked into the living room where my normie family members were talking and doing things on their iPhones. I tried to convince them that computers are superior technology and only normies use phones, but they wouldn't listen. My little cousin asked my why I had so many stains on my sweat pants, and I realized these were the ones I masturbated on before mommy bough my first body pillow. I waddled back down to my castle and haven't left since.
Pt 4
How many of you actually live this way?
>>713331560
A huge faggot who always says how he smokes weed
Lmao kid, go get a grip.
>>713331650
i thought togame was your boyfriend irl
>>713331650
Jolly good.
>>713326074
>>713331455
Akame, he's a good person.
So from the same show.
Also I'll like to welcome you here, it's late but eh it's never too late for that.
>Haruhi
Who's that?
>>713331518
Ay, same thing we share.
Sometimes writing is fun just never happened for a long while for me.
I despise my family of normies, in fact I hate everyone who isn't part of the Waifu community. The only person free of my hatred is my mother. She's taken care of me for the past 22 years, and supplies me with food and diaper changes. It is now 10 pm, and I'm still soaked in my own shit and piss. Whatever, I've smelled worse than this before. I sit down at me desk, brush some roaches away from my mousepad, and refresh the current Waifu thread. Just as i begin to select my image of Miku to claim, I feel something move between my ankles. I see a big rat crawling beneath me. This will make an exquisite gift for my Waifu body pillow. I grab him by the tail, and suffocate him between my man breasts. I then throw him on to my bed, to appease Miku. I can hear mother yelling upstairs, in between sobs and crying. Probably on her normie iPhone talking to one of her newfag friends about me. All of this excitement makes my bowels loose, so I grab the nearest empty 2 liter of soda, remove my size 42 adult diaper, and like my asshole up with the opening. I squeeze out enough pizza roll liquid shit to fill up 1/4 of the container. I place it next to a pile of dead roaches and look back at my computer screen
Pt 5
>>713326100
>>713331670
Every god damn time.
>>713326172
>>713331518
None at all, what about you?
>>713331853
I like Akame too but he never comes around...
And thank you! You're nice. I hope we can continue to get along.
Haruhi is a stalker! I'm scared of her.
Look at what she did
>
>>713331709
Togame is too much of a retard to comprehend a human relationship.
>>713331710
Heh.
>>713332066
Its just so damn funny
>>713326219
.
>>713332066
>>713332372
what is
>>713331853
i don't like writing
>>713332203
not at all
>she
>her
why tho
>>713332276
i heard he was sucking dicks now
>>713332372
How can she swing such a heavy looking weapon around like that?
>>713332442
I don't know.
>>713332520
you do realise everyone here is of the male gender right?
>>713332440
That Makoto lewd. Its hilarious.
>>713332447
Shes essentially a god of battle.
>>713332447
You should go to /trash/
You behavior fits better in there.
>>713326229
>>713332203
So, they complied all of that.....
Spooped...
I saw him around yesterday, I guess only during the day. I'm just nights, I also post during the day, that's when I get the feeling to.
Yeah, you seem like a good person to have a convo and thank you.
>>713332442
I can appreciate good writing, but not mine.
>>713332568
I look like a girl.
>>713326412
c
>>713332584
oh
>>713332631
what a faggot
i bet you like dick
>>713326417
>>713332673
That fuggin' pic.....
>Mami
>>713332568
I'm not sure...
>>713332595
They threw me out.
>>713332584
Um what anime is that? I want to watch it.
>>713332607
I'm the worst person to have a conversation with because I can't hold my end of it. Can you protect me from Haruhi?
>>713332818
you're not sure that you know everyone from here is male?
>>713326439
idk who that is but is this right?
>>713332785
its lewd and lewd is good
>>713332895
I'll use the "they" and "their" pronouns from now on.
>>713332916
My waifu is pure DON"T DO THAT TO HER!!
>>713332818
>>713332916
That's fine if you can't, some convo is still good.
Sure why not.
Just whenever they're on I guess, can't make promises though.
Some lewds yes, just not all the time.
>>713333039
That's all?
>>713333044
please use "haruhi" and "haruhi" pronouns for me
>>713333073
Theres a bunch of moonrunes after.
>>713332916
Some lewds yes, just not all the time.
It was meant for you that part, I messed that up.
>Mami
>>713332681
I fuck girls
>>713332818
Oh.
Is okay, except I won't notice you everytime.
>>713333153
I fuck you
>>713333052
S-so what brings you back to /waifu/ now?
I didn't post that lewd!
>>713333109
That would make me sound, I don't know, insane?
>>713333120
Oh okay, I'll look for it now.
Thank you.
>>713333153
I don't have to rp when i post Kurome because our personalities are similar. She's not even my waifu, I'm just here to ship with Akame.
>>713326445
d
>>713333044
shes a clothed dom tho, call yourself lucky.
>>713333150
i'm just grabbing what i find tbh. i could find some of her giving head.
>>713333416
no i just want to stalk you like haruhi
> She's not even my waifu
Avatarfags get out of my thread
>>713333434
She's pure and submissive.
>>713333507
You want to stalk me? Who are you?
>>713333416
Sorry, I made a mistake on my part.
It was meant for the other.
Well, just a break and life got in the way of things, but I'm ready to roll again, I hope.
>>713333434
No thank you, it's something I don't want right now.
>>713332440
Well then
>>713326450
>>713326571
nj
>>713333575
gotta find better then
>>713333620
your time is coming.
>>713333627
this guy gets it.
>>713326713
>>713333575
i just want to be your haruhi :o
>>713333749
Damn it, I can't do anything about it.
>Mami
>>713333876
it seems i can not until someone bakes
i will return tho.
faggots please
>>713333967
.......
>Mami
Fug....
who's still here?
![Syndra [159].png](https://cdn.randomarchive.com/b/image/1463/172/1463172605422.jpg "Syndra [159]")
