Waifu claiming thread.
Previous:>>712588672
Rules:
>Claim your Waifu/Husbando
>No Claiming Waifus/Husbandos that have already been claimed
>Only one claim per anon
>No stealing (unless trips or more)
>No oversexualised content
>No RP/ERP of any kind (maybe some on occasion)
>Discussion is welcomed
>Insults must be original
>If you're posting images you're not lurking
>3D is almost always trash
>Joining means a reserved place in hell
>Most importantly, have fun!
Poorfag claimed
Claim
:o
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ztCA4bxNrQ
>>712599799
have you been awake all night or did you just wake up?
>>712599632
I still don't get this shit ?
Explanation please I can't believe you neckbeards are just taking a random Anime girls/boy picture and claim it for a wife/husband?
>>712599962
Awake all night
>>712600014
Shh, they get scared easily.
>>712600014
Its hardly random.
The waifu chooses the anon.
>>712600014
Lurk more and you'll understand
Goodnight
Worst fucking threads on /b/. I bet you man children smell like shit because you only shower biweekly so mom doesn't take your body pillow away. Post this faggot shit somewhere else you ugly virgins
>>712600014
Most people aren't serious about having there "waifu" actually as there wife and don't actually love her and just avatarfag
i am though :o
>>712600014
Here's a (You) to validate your existence.
>>712600133
Sleep well, golden
>>712600130
>being so outrageously autistic that you think being on a website longer than someone is a valid criticism
Kek, go outside man baby
>>712600014
see>>712600130
>>712600133
good night dubs
>>712599799
how have we not talked yet?
>>712600193
But you don't have something more valuable to do ? I mean it sounds ridiculous to say that on b/ but still tho..
>>712600197
So do you have a cartoon wife to validate your existence? Go eat some chicken tendies you autistic fuck
>>712600294
When did i say anything like that? I meant lurk here more
>>712600358
I don't know
>actual Waifu claimer
>>712600385
if I did do you think i'd be here? I just come here for some conversation during my dead time.
>>712600133
>>712599515
Nice pic, Eli has a glorious body tbh
Good night and sweet dreams to you
>>712600133
sleep well and warm honey :o
>>712600385
well i'm neet so no
>>712600014
Virginity will make a man unpredictable anon. Prone to all manner of madness
>actual Waifu claimer
Kek
>>712600449
>>712600388
wait so this is miho? :o
>>712600515
>>712600449
I bet you don't even know who he claims
>>712600358
I lurked enough and still I don't get this shit it just seem hardly retarded to post a picture of a fucking Anime character and "claim" it
>actual Waifu virgin
>>712600578
its just avatarfagging
>>712600578
Its just a thread
>actual autistic Waifu virgin
>>712600572
Mugi
>>712600578
We don't "really" claim them, we just talk to each other about stuff. And how long do you think is "enough"?
>>712600544
>>712600675
No miku
>this man baby is actually one of the Waifu claimers
Holy fuck, what's sad is he's probably the most normal looking of the bunch.
>>712600447
well hello yoyo. Have you been eating better like you should?
>>712600578
realistically it's a formality to assign a face to an other wise faceless anon so we can conversate. most people choose a character that they find to be their ideal woman, but most of us also understand that 2d isn't really real. I think that is where your confusion is coming from.
also
>I've lurked long enough
>still don't understand
can only pick 1
>>712600783
i did nazi you coming senpai
>pic stolen from a Waifu threads
Fucking fat lonely autists masturbating to drawings of little girls because it's the closest they will ever come to sex kek
Ive revealed my face multiple times
Why am I not getting the shit?
>>712600747
I thought miku was a small bean? :o
>>712600889
because you're not ugly
I've revealed my dick
>>712600889
you look like a fagget
Disgusting virgin weaboos
![Syndra [110].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/gTq7dIC.jpg "Syndra [110].jpg")
>>712600928
I don't know, he was the one posting the pics
>>712600752
tbh I'd wager I'm the most normal looking /waifu/ anon.
buuuuut...I'm also lazy so i don't feel like taking a picture....
>>712601048
>tali
I bet you're parents joke about you as well. Their son who never played sports or had a girlfriend. Because he wasted his whole life playing video games and watching anime. I can see you now, in your dark bedroom, the only light source being the computer screen. Roaches scattered about the anime dolls and cum stained body pillows, brought there from the vast amount of cookie crumbs and uneaten chicken nuggets. You sit on 4chan and bitch and moan like a little fucking baby, while carefully selecting which autistic Chinese cartoon girl you're going to put as your image. You begin to cry, but mom comes into your room, steps around the piss bottles, and lays a fresh plate of pizza rolls on your desk. She knocks over one of your anime dolls so you start to cry and whine, eventually shutting your adult diaper. She walks out of your room to find your dad hanging from the ceiling fan, with a suicide note about how dissapointed he was in the fat, unshowered weaboo that his offspring became.
I can see you fat fucks now. Hunched over your desk, flabby arms reaching your LED lit mouse and keyboard. Forearms so fat they look like pancake batter pressed against your desk. The monitor emits the only light in your bedroom, making your greasy, acne ridden face shine. You press your asscheeks down to evenly spread the feces in your adult diaper amongst your immaculate butt cheeks. You use your oily, cheeto stained fingers to twirl your neckbeard hair as you anxiously await the next post in your Waifu claiming thread. You mother, who has taken care of you for the 18+ years you've wasted oxygen on this planet, enters your room. She flicks the lights on, causing you to squint and feel nauseated. "honey, i think you're getting too old for these cartoons and all of these weird body pillows you have. My friend Mary from the book club has a single daughter your age and your father and I were thinking its time you grow up. We want you to go on a date with this girl, here is a picture of her". Mom holds up her iPhone to show you the picture, and you think to yourself what a normie she is for using a phone instead of a computer. The girl on the screen isn't a poorly drawn anime character, so decline the offer and go back to your autistic anime role play thread until it gets deleted, and then you make another one.
Hey guys. This is Mr. Cothran. I work as a special Ed teacher at my local high school. I've been teaching autistic kids for the last 13 years or so, when I discovered this website. Most of my students were avid fans of anime. After I caught a few of them masturbating to anime characters in the back of the classroom, I had to come up with a plan to keep them calm. I started creating these threads, and sitting them in front of the classroom computers. Soon enough, all of my autistic students became completely obsessed with these threads, and I've had to make them one after another for all these years. I would appreciate if everyone who is not my student wouldn't post here because it has been causing uproar in my classroom with the autistic kids shouting and screaming that their waifus were stolen, some have gone back to masturbating in the corner once again. Please save my classroom from being turned into a zoo again.
>>712600852
I think so, if pizza and burgers count as "better"
I awaken from a terrible nightmare around 8pm, the usual hour in which my slumber comes to a halt, albeit somewhat earlier. I obviously have a productive time ahead of me, being up at this hour. I turn myself over and kiss my Waifu pillow, landing my lips on a spot deprived of my dried-up ejaculate. As per usual, I begin to whine and scream for my mother. I require a nurtrituous meal of Tyson brand frozen chicken nuggets and Mountain Dew, and based on the smell emanating from my size 42 adult diaper, I will also need a change. I use what little energy I have to push my buzz lightyear bedsheets off, and roll myself out of bed, crushing several piss bottles in the process. Luckily, I can kill two birds with one stone by taking my biweekly shower tonight, so I can wash off the piss and also gain 10 big boy points from mommy. I waddle over to the bulletin board, and a smirk begins to form on my face as I realize I have acquired 100 big boy points, enough for a new anime body pillow. I plop 320 pound ass on to my computer chair, causing the shit in my adult diaper to spill out on the basement floor beneath me. I brush the roaches off of my LED lit mechanical keyboard and load up 4chan. As soon as I load up the latest "waitu claiming thread", mother walks down to the basement
Part 1
Here comes the trilogy
>>712601303
She strategically maneuvers herself through the maze of piss bottles and shit jugs until she makes it to my desk. I am her precious son, earning so many big boy points I could be on the NASDAQ. She bows before me and presents tonights meal. It isn't what I was expecting, on the tray sits a great value paper plate, adorned with Tostitos Pizza rolls and a red solo cup of Dr. Pepper. Anger swells within me, causing my face to turn red. I twist my cheeto stained neckbeard hair and ponder what her consequence will be for this disappointment. I decide to drop it, as the meal will suffice. I brush a group of roaches off of my monitor and browse the latest Waifu claiming thread, and remind her to leave her credit card so I can order another body pillow to spray my seed upon. I turn around and see her grabbing my beloved Miku pillow, I become overwhelmed with rage, I stand up from my computer chair and begin to approach her. Suddenly, I trip over 2 liter of Mountain Dew that I filled with piss last year, and my fat, unshowered body crashes into the basement floor beneath me. It seemed to happen in slow motion. I hear the "crunch" roaches crushed under my man boobs. I happened to fall in a particular spot where I keep most of my shit jugs and piss bottles. I am completely soaked in old piss and shit
Pt 2
>>712601224
depends on what you we're eating before
>also throw some fruits and veggies in there man
>>712601362
I gaze down upon my body. I am completely naked expect for my adult diaper, the content of which has been emptied onto my thighs and back. My stomach extends forward so much I cannot see my feet, and my man tits so far I can barely see my stomach. I see the layer of shit, piss, and dead roaches as armor, and imagine myself as a hero in one of my favorite animes. I am trying to save my princess, my Miku body pillow mother is trying to capture. I must save her, she is my only instrument to combat my eternal virginity. I charge at mother, and collide with her, sending her crumbling down onto my mattress. She vomits immediately, because she knows she's lying upon millions of her unborn grand children, in the form of my semen absorbed into my buzz lightyear bedsheets. I lay on top of her, burying her face between my shit-covered man breasts. I pull myself away, and laugh as notice some of the dead roaches have stuck to the shit on her face. I reclaim my previous body pillow and kiss her up and down. I then proceed to expose my tiny Phallus and masturbate onto her, as a display of my power should her or my mother rebel against me once more
Pt 3
>>712601303
>>712601362
For a second there i thought you had actually thought of something new and original. Of coarse i was wrong but i like to think you have potential
>>712600852
>understand that 2d isn't really real
Heresy
>>712601001
miku posted pics? :o
>>712600964
Hi Syndra <3
>>712601146
yes someone fight the good fight! ill be back in an hour to help destroy these fat fucking autistic peices of shit
>>712601425
I don't remember what i was eating before
>>712601679
a giant cock or crumbs from between you giant fat rolls you fucking peice of shit loser?
>>712601676
Awesome I've got plenty of pasta and anti-weeb memes I've made since like august
>>712601604
hey i said most of us
>>712601679
well then how can I compare?
mine?
>>712601952
Something you autists will never see in real life with an actual woman
Kek
>>712601817
dope, i ruined the last one. but my supplies arent much. just some funny banannas ffs. >>712599770
>>712601633
Yes
>>712601771
>Assuming i''m fat and gay
We know you are but not everyone is like you
>>712601833
I don't know
>>712601952
>lewd nonon
>best nonon
>>712602008
>tfw I'm married to a bisexual woman
>>712602104
>ruined
How do you think you "ruined" it?
>>712602104
I'm preparing more rn, let's just meet up next thread you know these virgins do this 24/7
>>712602183
Here comes the damage control
>>712602120pretty fucking logican assumption. either that or youre scrawny and fucking pathetic. being gay is fucking cool as hell compared to whatever the fuck you'd call whatever it is you fucking weirdos are doing here.
>>712602215
All you/he did was make us get a new thread quicker. If anything it helped us
>>712602289
And it's logical that you are a retard since you can't even spell the simplest of words and use proper punctuation.
>>712602184
start a thread and try to get other people hahaha. and i know its fucking insane. i dont know why people fuck up ylyl but not this. surely to fuck this filthy shit is worse. i mean look at it. what the actual fuck
Hey Nonon here! How is everyone today besides Fascism enlightened?
>>712602310
>2016
>newfag shitposters still havent realized that /waifu/ is eternal.
>>712602451
>complaining about grammar
>starting a sentence with a conjunction
kys
>>712602451 why would i bother trying. i could be totally fucking illegible and still be 10 times the human being any of you fuckin basement dwelling fucking weeabos are. i mean fucking look what youre doing
>>712602664
They have some crazy damage control tho. They will try to make this shit seem normal because they're so autistic they don't see how weird it is
>>712602651
if we all fucked with it we could make a dent. if everyone on 4 chan dedicated just a few hours a week...
>>712602825
Good luck organising that
>>712602651
>Complaining about me making a mistake
>Still can't use capital letters and full stops
Thank's for the 2 (You)'s, but make up your mind about which side you're on.
>>712602664
You are totally illegible though
>>712602825
This. I have been doing this for months and sometimes people will join in, but only for a short while. We can decimate these threads if /b/ would just cooperate, but sadly any time you try to organize something these days the autistic 15 year olds think you're recruiting them to a personal army and act like it takes any effort besides posting shit on your computer
>>712602825
you do realize where you are right?
/b/ is the trash can of 4chan and will more likely defend this. also even if they didn't they would never put forth the organized effort it would require.
>>712602940
Never claimed to be grammatically correct, and nah i like being ambiguous
>>712602940
talk shit about grammer because
there's no way to justify the
reprehensible retarded garbage
youre participating in. you pathetic fucing loser
>>712603115
YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII>>712602120
well shit i guess
>>712603286
Yo! How'd it go last night?
>>712600294
salty newfag/10
well gotta sleep for work tomorrow
Goodnight guys
>Goodnight shit posters
>>712603416
pretty good no 3 some yet but we did have sex in front of a small crowd. was hot AF
>goodnight Yuuki
>>712603534
night
Mother retreats upstairs. I squint my eyes and hiss at the sliver of light creeping in from the basement door. I haven't been to the other parts of the house since last Christmas, when mom told me I had to socialize with the family or get my computer taken away. I imagine my house as a video game map, and think the rest of my house as The Unknown Lands. I also like to imagine my room a castle. I haven't been outside since I was 16, which was about 6 years ago. I live in complete darkness, except for my computer screen, which is always displaying the current Waifu claiming thread. Thinking of last Christmas makes me sweat and feel anxious, I never want to leave my castle. I remember walking up the steps. And trying to adjust my eyes to light. Mother made me wear a red Christmas sweater and some sweat pants. I walked into the living room where my normie family members were talking and doing things on their iPhones. I tried to convince them that computers are superior technology and only normies use phones, but they wouldn't listen. My little cousin asked my why I had so many stains on my sweat pants, and I realized these were the ones I masturbated on before mommy bough my first body pillow. I waddled back down to my castle and haven't left since.
Pt 4
I'm going to keep writing these until I have a complete novel to spam in these virginity festival threads
>>712603534
Sounds hot. Have a good one!
>>712603534
at ncdonalds? or better? i cant imagine much better
What do you think Tomoko's butt crack smells like?
>>712603784
>shit
>>712603784
Adding this to my Waifu screen caps for a cringe edit
>>712603534
Goodnight
>>712602020
>>712603452
>>712603516
>>712603820
Why all the communist flags?
>>712603913
WOW WAT FUCKING WEEBS LOL
I DONT EVEN USE MONEY ANYMORE
I USE FUEL UNITS
YOU MUST HAVE ENOUGH FUEL UNITS
YOU MUST HAVE ENOUGH LAMBORGHINIS
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT MORE PYLONS
>>712604253
Neat
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ztCA4bxNrQ
>>712603979
>>712603979
>>712603979
Autists won't even bother making another thread kek
