ITT : We live in the same house
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT : We live in the same house
>>694880596
>we all drown in the basement.
>>694880596
i clog the toilet every day
>>694880658
What are you kids doing in the basement, for god's sake?!
>>694880596
Hey there, I heard you were looking for a new flatmate?
>>694880741
Oh hey, I have room for 2 in my room. Hop in.
No heat, we all fight for op he is the fattest
>>694880941
My heat is making the house heated up. Go to the beach if you want cold air.
>lives in house
>>694880850
You think I'm going to sleep with you that easy, anon?
I'm leaving my milk and cookies here. Watch it for me. I'm gonna take a dump and will be back soon. I trust you guys.
>>694880596
What the fuck do you think you're doing in my home?
Hey, guys. Is the attic still available?
Pick up your damn socks!
>>694881214
Nah, i'm fapping here.
>>694881214
you bet it is, you can camp out up here with me
>>694880596
I make sure to piss in the sink every chance i get
>>694881167
Who let you in? I thought I told you to be on watch for Pokemon Go players.
>>694881105
Insecurities bother you? So much make-up darling.
>>694880596
Wouldn't that house just be destroyed if the tides were too strong? Also can I haz join
Does my porn scare you
>>694881383
What the fuck did you just say anon? I will castrate you.
>>694881367
I already ate all the local kids.
>>694881435
Anon stop using all the bandwidth
>>694881489
Yeah, bring it on. I would love it from you.
I'll use the extra room as a satan summoning room that is also a computer room.
Nova gas is created and released by my ass all day long
>>694881435
My minecraft game is lagging, stop downloading porn even though this game isn't even online Anon
>Wake up one morning in the /b/ house
>Come downstairs to see a heaving pile of neckbeards furiously masturbating to loli and trap porn
>Try to hang myself, but all the nooses are taken by the betafags and robot wannabe's
>An obese, autistic man known only as Bill guards the only exit
>Try to leave, Bill demands dubs
>I try to leave so many times, but Bill is never satisfied
>Bill demands more, Bill needs a warm body to keep him company through the lonely nights
>I give my body to Bill, so that my /b/rothers may escape
>Bill ravages me, leaving no orifice untouched, no crevice unvisited by his supple, meaty hands
>Bill is a soft, gentle lover...but is prone to fits of rage, devastating my frail body until I have nothing left to give
>When he's finished, Bill discards me and demands dubs from another tribute
>If only I could have pleased Bill
alright faggots, who shit in the shower again
I select all images with a store front and definitely not a robot
No more toilet paper in this house
Why do I hear things fall down and mom moaning inside our parent's room?
>>694881741
IT WASN'T ME
Hey, mind if I use your razor to shave my balls? Your sister likes them smooth.
>>694881741
It fell out of my hands
I'm gonna make you all something to eat, what do you want?
>>694881907
My bad, I thought I stomped it all down the drain.
>>694881741
It was dave.
>>694881741
it was me, i was playing battleshits while having a bath
>>694880596
my room is under the water and from there is an elevator up to the highest floor where the dining room is and i like to take massive shits and send them to the top floor through the elevator
>>694882006
Trap dumplings
Whoever keeps spitting in the sink it's completely out of order. We all agreed no qualms about pissing in the sink but that different. Now I understand that some of you think it's funny to walk up to an innocent sink, spread your buttcheeks and lay down a fudge dragon for everyone to see...but someone's gotta clean that up yknow
>>694882006
Moms spaghetti
>>694881954
>tfw the next day we find anon lying on the floor unconscious with his nuts hanging out of their sack, blood all over the floor and shit
>>694882006
Make me a shake.
>>694882006
just shoot it straight on my face i`ll lap it up later
>>694882082
Looks Like you're cleaning up my turd there.
>>694882079
I cooked you some fresh trap dumplings.
>>694882082
mkayyy mr mackey
>>694880596
hi there I'm pajeet I'm moving in.
Сука, проваливать мой дом, грязное животное!
dibs on teh deck - it doesn't look too bad. it'll feel good to air out my balls in the ocean breeze
>>694882245
Do you choose loo or shitting street?
>>694882334
what is a loo?
>>694882245
Hey Pajeet, unfortunately we don't have any rooms left. Instead you can sleep under my bed.
Who the fuck is using all the bandwidth?!
Which one of you faggots moved the memes
>>694882189
Hey, I just didn't want your sis to choke on pubes, sorry for being a gentleman.
>>694882089
Here's mom's favorite spaghetti for you Anon.
>>694882387
>>694880596
What is the washing line attached to off the left side of the pic? A stick? A lamp post? My dick?
>>694882124
Have a strawberry shake on the house.
>>694882273
>мой дом
Who wants this last chocolayte?
>>694882273
Sorry, this is Ukrainian land.
>>694882245
hey Pajeet, you can sleep with me on my bed...
>>694882237
>cooking all the dumplings
>>694882438
>washing line
aka /b/ mansion
>>694882480
you're an evil man, driving us apart like this
>>694882500
can we do the buttsex
>>694881160
How was your dump
>>694882408
Thanks!!!!
>>694882171
I'll give you a potato to the mouth, sound good?
Guys, can I have my girlfriend come in? I also need the living room free because we have plans.
>>694882600
of course you can, cuck.
>>694882532
no but i`m a heavy sleeper and i guess you could spoon me... "wink" wink"
Are these socks... Crusty? What the fuck, Anons, don't leave these out! At least keep them under your bed for gods sake.
>>694880741
One with no clothes.
And a dilated anus.
And comes with her own tie-downs and ball-gag.
>>694882600
So long as I get some action outta her.
>>694882608
Did he just say Oh Meeeeeee?
>>694882625
Hello there, I've heard this house is possessed by a gay demon, which must be exorcised for fear that the inhabitants become raging faggots.
God damn it, the rules are simple.
We all can eat from the same nutella jar, but only if we use our hands.
No wiping.
>>694881740
Lovely story Anon. You've got quite the knack for writing.
"door bell rings"
Someone get the door?1
>>694882689
Oh my, but me works too haha
Hey guys. Sorry, but you gotta make some room so I can set up my lathe.
Also, do we get three phase out here? I'm gonna REALLY need three phase power...
>>694882725
Right this way!
hellooooo
anyone there
i'm out of toilet paper
helloooooo
anyone there?
heeeeellooooooooooooo
help
>>694882757
Who is it?
>>694882798
Don't worry I got you fam
>>694882757
It's the pizza guy. Someone open the door! I have cum in my hands! And don't eat it it's mine
>>694882006
Just order some pizza
>>694882798
Just use one of the Linux Gamer magazines I left in there.
>>694882757
>>694882849
>>694882858
someone order pizza?
>>694882843
Nah thanks m8. I'll use the rug.
>>694882725
Hell no, you can't take Claude!
*slam*
Fuckin' degenerate...
>>694882858
I didn't know what pizza do you want so I got you a cheese pizza
>>694882798
Last time I looked there was plenty. What happened to it all?
>>694882849
Sorry bro, I are it... We cool though, right?
>>694882922
Hey gorgeous, come on in.
Why are my socks so stiff?
Anybody want to hit up the bong with me?
>>694882934
Bull shit you will, you shit on that rug you're licking it up god damn it!
>>694882922
"door opens"
Hello, my names is togonlongo boluma.
Have you heard the good words oj Jhessuss
>>694882600
She doesn't mind being the town bicycle, right?
>>694883012
I will bong the hit
>>694882963
We need to purge that shit with lead, fire, salt, silver, cold iron, krillitane oil, and transphobia until it goes away
>>694883039
Of course I had, this household is full of practicing Jehovah's Witnesses. Have you heard the good word of Jehovah, my friend?
*hands pamphlet*
>>694883055
Haha is that the pine apples extreme guy?
>>694883001
NIGGA THAT'S MY... Exercising handle, yeah.
Can you take it off of your foot and give it back?
>>694880596
some of you guys are alright don't go to the second floor tomorrow
My aunt Precious came to visit me, so be cool aright.
anyone there?
>>694883039
Di...did you just change your form?!
Bringing my little brother, his name is HARDCORE PIMP
We have enough food right?
Can we pay the bills?
How fucking big is this house to house like 100+ people
http://www.strawpoll.me/10758849 help me bros
>>694883050
Hey! Back off! I called first poke! You can have my sloppy seconds.
>>694882798
Surely there's one of Anons gay porn magazines in there, right Anon? That'll suffice.
>>694880596
hey guys the fridge is empty again
>>694883173
you mere mortals, of course! The pizza guy is just a diversion
>>694883169
Eeeeh... I can explain.
Showers ready
>>694883125
>>694883126
Don't forget holy water, maybe it will please these fucks
>>694882945
>>694882922
Hey, I'll take what I can get. Thanks!
I've been going on the dark web. Anon over there showed me how to use it.
Looking through hard candy links
>>694883128
It's really gripping my foot, hey anon can you butter my foot up?
>>694883169
Yes, Dave what do you want? You already cleaned your shit with the rug.
>>694883012
>AC Cola
Muh nigga, lived off that stuff in uni
>>694883269
Start with youporn.com
>>694883199
What about a threesome? Sharing is caring, right?
>>694883050
Why not both?
>>694883280
Vaseline will do the job better. Trust me, I know.
>>694883407
Jesus!
>>694883214
Well go do something about it, Anon.
"comes downstraits and sees this...."
Anons... what are you...
why wasn`t i invited?
>>694883407
the fuck
I will be in my room. With the door locked. Please don't talk to me or I'd have to answer. Only when you order food you can talk to me to ask if I want anything. Leave the food at the doorstep.
>>694883169
Use your hands and wash it off!
>>694883493
you're not fat enough, you have to level up two more fat levels before you can join in
>>694880596
Which one of you faggots finished the cereal?
>>694881740
GOD DAMMIT I WANNA LEAVE THIS HOUSE
I'm going to the store, you nigs want anything?
Hey guys, i got a cyst on my arm. Anyone know what it could be?
I'll be summoning Satan in my computer room, call me when you need anything.
>>694883632
kool aid pls
(btw i`m not black, i promise)
>>694882739
The Nutella is expired... It's been the same jar for years.
>mfw there's 42 posters on this thread, is this house a TARDIS
>>694883466
Alright, you're the boss anon.
who has some joint pauper
>>694883632
can you get me some RC Cola? I'll pay you back for a pack.
>>694883715
M8 you dead?
>>694881632
Hey, wait, let me get my laptop first-!
>>694881741
Wasn't me. I used the toilet. See?
>>694881516
Don't tell me that you ate them without seasoning...
>>694880734
This is why I can't live with people.
>>694883715
a..... anon? you still a live in there?
>>694883833
I may have
>>694883777
I'll let you in trips.
By the way, I changed the wifi name.
>>694883677
>>694883762
Sure thing anons
>>694883747
No, we just have a lot of people sleeping in each others beds, also some of our flatmates are dead.
>>694883840
this is why you should join me in my bath for a gameof battleshits
>>694883407
She's seems talented
>>694883924
Battle shits you say?
>>694883532
You'd damn well better be paying rent still, or your ass is out.
>>694883632
Cinnamon toast crunch and some instant ramen. Oh, not the cup kind!
>>694883655
Can we get the computers out of there before you do that? Eheheheh...
>>694883655
Playing pretend again? Aren't you a little old for that..?
>>694883715
this is the future you chose
you must live with your decisions
>>694884060
not quiet so... mine is a bit improved from that one.
It involves slinging each turd at our opponent battleturd to the point of destruction.
The loser eats all the leftover turds
>>694883715
Hey, wake up you cunt, I have to take a huge shit!
I'm gonna shit in the peanut budder to make reeses swirls. Who wants some?
>>694884225
This is for real, I actually worship Satan.
>>694883715
A-Anon..? Anon?!
>>694883769
>>694883850
>>694884226
>>694883715
He's dead. He's had his final shit. May he sleep in peace. R.I.P.
>>694880596
The attic's where I live. I need a panorama view while I fuck OP's mother/wife.
>>694883715
I found Anon and here's what happened.
>>694883677
>>694883762
>>694884134
Added x1 Cool Aid
Added x1 RC Cola
Added x1 Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Added x1 Instant Ramen not the cup kind the cup kind sucks
>>694883715
Anon stop playing with your turds again, you gross fuck
If your going to do it at least invite me in as well
>>694884339
We can't let this happen again.
We need to elect a life guard to keep people from killing themselves in the bathroom.
>>694883858
I taught you better than that, Anon. Ah well, everyone makes mistakes. Just come get me when you find another one.
>>694883891
T-thanks!
>>694884432
Where the fuck are the dead bodies being kept in the bathroom?
Hey Kideez, I'm hooammme. What dus you vant fur dinner?
>>694884457
There is only one way to keep those kids off my lawn.
>>694884525
We need smoked turkish breast. And gassy and fizzy coke.
>>694884305
Oh. Ok, cool. Put in a good word for me.
PAAAAARTYYYY! I invited all da BOYZ!
>>694883466
casual. go buy your self some water based lube
>>694884525
wienerschnitzel pls boss
>>694881741
So what? You all have never taken a shit in the shower? Use the shower head to break it all down and down the drain?
>You all sicken me, Newfags.
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>>694880596
Just too let you guys know, whoever was eating my yogurt, I splooged in it, and I made sure I had the clap before I did If you would of replaced it that would of been fine. This isn't a free yogurt shop you fucktard if you eat it you replace it
>>694884522
I suppose I'll have to step up to the challenge to keep everyone safe in the bathroom.
>>694883715
of all stories on /b/, this is probably the only one i can relate to
>>694883715
Guys let's do this and find what happened to him!
>>694884755
Great, I'll go get Satan.
>>694884577
Whatever works.
>>694884254
Disgusting.
I love it
>>694884755
Let's do this
Anyone wanna play some Melee?
>>694884873
I think Pajeet might like this game you should invite him. He's probably a pro.
>>694881740
thank mr skeltal
im moving in. here's some ID.
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>>694884809
>>694884880
Do you see anything move?
>>694885000
new fag this is how you tryforce
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BURN IT ALL DOWN! THIS PLACE SUCKS!
LET ME IN.
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May I come in?
>>694885034
I see a newfag.
>>694885034
I see the coin move.
>>694885055
>>694885000
You ruined your trips, by being a newfag.
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Guys, can I come in?
>>694885169
You want what from here?
>>694885180
no
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>>694885000
>>694885055
>>694885180
>>694885242
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kikes
>>694885241
CLASSIFIED
>>694885242
you aren't either newfag
>>694885236
NOBODY COMES UP TO THE ATTIC, Ill BE UP THERE WITH ALL YOUR MOTHERS AND OR WIVES.
>Enjoy the house kids, don't light anything on fire while I bang them.
Im here to deliver a package to a Mr. "Anon"? The package is from GayMomentToys.
>>694885317
What is so special about triforcing?
>>694885240
Fuck off
>>694885330
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what about me
ROBOCOP DEMANDS ENTRANCE. OPEN THE DOOR NOW.
>>694885398
Tonnnnnnnnnnny!
Hey look, there's Will Smith at our door.
>>694885454
you may pass.
>>694885484
You wait. I'm calling my mom.
>>694885484
This area isn't under your jurisdiction robocop, plus we're all red assets
>>694885484
Guys, let RoboCop in, he's from my home town.
I'll give someone 10 dollars if they walk my dog
>>694880596
Guys I'm gonna be in the bathroom for a while.
>>694885405
>being this new
>>694885423
Triforce for us, "oldfag"
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>>694885620
>>694885615
THIS IS PART OF DETROIT, RIGHT? IT LOOKS SO DESTROYED AND FULL OF CRIMINALS
>>694885667
thats not a dog
>>694885675
Okay, move the dead Anon for us.
>>694885734
Actually RoboCop, you're in Chicago.
>>694885702
>>being this new
Yes, can you explain why triforcing is good?
>>694885702
You are cancer
Hello? I'm looking for John Connor.
>>694885814
ROBOCOP WILL LEAVE NOW. THANK YOU FOR INFORMATION.
>>694885865
Yous see that house? That's where he lives.
>>694885938
don`t you mean... "thank you for your co-operation"...
He`s a fake
>>694885938
Wait. Do you bleed?
>>694885952
what house?
>>694885823
It's a tradition. Pisses off plebs who can't copy and paste right.
>>694885831
You're damn right.
>>694885981
>>694885997
I DON'T BLEED.
MY CODE WAS CHANGED.
I CHANGED TO C++ SO LINES WERE CHANGED.
>>694885865
you got him? sup?
The guy to fix our computers is here. Let him in.
And look, Will brought Jazz over.
>>694886152
B-b-b-but I've been here this whole time! I even installed Gentoo on all your laptops.
This is a nice thread. I enjoyed laughing lot.
>>694886390
hello, anon.
>>694886019
>It's a tradition. Pisses off plebs who can't copy and paste right.
Oh now I get it. I'm new to 4chan actually.
>>694884064
Sure. I'll pay for my food too and also stuff to clean the shared areas with and toilet paper. Just don't talk to me or dat boi ever again.
>>694886327
LIES!
>>694880596
Fuck you all, I live under the roof. At least I got some nice sights. I'm gonna be a fucking cook of this house.
>>694886486
Please anon, you're embarrassing us both.
we're here for the birthday party
is this the right place?
>>694886595
Oh wait. What did I do?
>>694886611
"throws all the pokeballs balls"
I'm the president of this house from now on.
Hey guys, I bought some roti and curry. Anyone wanna join?
>I'm the president of this house from now on.
>>694886736
hahaha good one
>>694886558
I'll install Gentoo on you too! Show me where your USB 2/3 ports are or this might not be pleasant.
>>694886775
the entire house smells like shit now thanks
i mean, it did before, but it does now too
>>694886736
>>694886804
>>694886835
Fuck off ya cunt. We are many vs one. We can easily make you our slave.
>>694886868
It's the spices, anon. That was mean. It's the smell of healthiness.
>>694885750
What the fuck is Gerard Depardieu doing here?
>>694886327
You installed gentoo on my laptop. I reclaimed that POS as a media server. Now I have to reconfigure everything.....dick.
>>694886775
I need! I need! I love Indian food!
>>694886835
No no no. I is the niggest.
this guy shows up to the party
what's his name again?
>>694887020
You need to learn to use a proper UNIX-like system or at the very least set a boot password in the firmware settings.
>>694887208
Papa Rudi
Mom! Your toilet paper stock has come. I told them to move to our basement.
Hey guys. Mind if I come in? Promise I won't steal anything! And I can make the best dam kool aid you have ever tasted.
>>694887368
sorry but none of us speak or understand "nigger"... it`ll be harder for us to communicate
>>694887368
If you can make chickin tendies ur in
>>694887368
Grape koolaid? I, President Nig Nog, declare this a household holiday.
>>694880596
/fit/ here, I'm going to be loud about everything I do and add gains to the end of each sentence gains.
>>694887490
As long as you have enough GB points. I can pick the cotton fields too if you'd like
>>694880596
Hey op. /k/ here. I'm going to need to see your patches and edc. Also
>muh 1911
>inb4 plastic frames
>inb4 9mm
>>694881435
>raresc...
RARESC WHAT?!
>>694887824
/pol/ here.
Did you guys see the nigger on the news today? Boy do I hate niggers.
>>694888058
i almost typed "nigger" on google news
>>694888045
Okay. Fix my clogged toilet too.
>>694888058
You mean this nigger? He's always on the news although i can't figure out why.
>>694888175
Nigger what? Fix your own fucking toilet.
my gun is broken what do
>>694888202
Yeah, that nigger. He should go back to Africa, what do you think fam. Afterall, this country is for my Aryan master race children to thrive in.
>>694888386
Looks fine to me. Take that shit bear hunting.
>>694888461
What do i think? I think the "people" who even allowed an illegal alien to run much less assume the office of president of these united states need to be tried for treason and hanged. His policies have failed and he has turned us into even more of a joke than we were before. I think we need to tear down the government and start again. I think 1776 was the height of the country and we have been in a slow decline since then.
