'Aight, /b/ tards, SCP thread. Take the last three numbers of your post, add "SCP" to it, then google. This is the SCP you've been assigned to. How fucked are you?
Bonus: if the 4th number of your post is 1 or 2, include it for the higher series SCPs.
>SCP-365 is a green pool noodle made of polyethylene foam. By itself, it displays no unusual properties and is physically identical to a typical noodle of similar size. SCP-365's unusual properties manifest only when it is placed in a body of water. When a subject completely submerges in said body of water, they become unable to get out.
shit. i hate drowning.
SCP-312 is basically a jellyfish-shaped cloud that feeds on people for fun. Containment procedures say that all I have to do is wear a wide-brimmed hat and not look directly up. I'm alright.
>SCP-408 is a large mass of Lepidoptera, taking the appearance of zebra butterflies when not camouflaged. SCP-408 acts as a single entity at all times, speculated to be a form of hive mind communication amongst the mass. When inactive, SCP-408 will take on the color, pattern, and even texture of its immediate surroundings, making them functionally invisible. When threatened, SCP-408 has been observed to take on the form and appearance of a number of threatening creatures as a defense method, including a pride of lions, a Tyrannosaurus Rex, and most notably SCP-682 (See Incident Log 682-C).
Well, looks like I'll be fine.
>SCP-028 is located in an abandoned storage yard outside a copper mine in northern Michigan. SCP-028 has no detectable physical presence of any kind, but its Effect occurs in a 2.1 meter (7 foot) cube around what is commonly held as the “center” of SCP-028. All forms of scanning and testing in the area of SCP-028 have shown no abnormal readings. Adding or removing objects, or attempting to remove dirt from under SCP-028 has no effect in altering the size or shape of SCP-028’s area of effect, nor the onset or quality of the Effect.
Subjects “entering” SCP-028 are, within three (3) to six (6) seconds, struck by total and complete knowledge of a subject. This knowledge is thus far completely random in both size and usefulness, and sometimes goes unnoticed for extended periods of time. More “profound” knowledge generally has a stronger effect, with some cases [EXPUNGED: SEE DOCUMENT EL-028-1125]. This Effect can be experienced multiple times by exiting and re-entering SCP-028, but can result in increasingly strong migraines and dizziness after two (2) exposures.
SCP-028 came to the Foundation’s attention after research into news reports of a local miner who submitted a design for a cold-fusion reactor to the US patent office. Mr. ███ reported that it “just came to me, like a bolt outta the blue!” News and subjects were suppressed and contained after discovery of SCP-028, and the reactor designs implemented in the containment of SCP-███. Subsequent testing of SCP-028 has yielded mixed results.
Scp-284 is considered deceased due to lack of hemoglobin, he must consume 27 oz. Of diluted blood each day in order to remain active (resembles a Caucasian male 25-30 years old)
This is tripping me out /b/
got the gayest shit ever
>Description: SCP-178 is a pair of white stereoscopic (“3-D”) glasses with a rectangular white cardboard frame and lenses of transparent blue and red (left and right lenses, respectively) plastic. The item exhibits no unusual physical properties apart from a slight discoloration of the cardboard consistent with age. When worn, the wearer begins perceiving large bipedal entities in addition to its ordinary surroundings. Entities reportedly exhibit a docile and occasionally curious behavior (reports include entities leaning over the shoulder of persons working and observing them with interest), with one exception. Any attempt by the wearer or any other personnel (see Incident Report #178-14-Alpha) to directly interact with the entities results in severe lacerations suddenly appearing on persons involved. The appearance of lacerations is rapid and continues until the moment the wearer expires. The pattern of lacerations is always consistent with being slashed with three (3) parallel, tapered sharp objects of lengths varying between 14.2 and 27.4 cm and maximum thickness varying between 2.9 and 8.1 cm. Recording and measuring devices used during testing failed to detect any anomalies, including while lacerations were appearing on subject(s). Subjects do not report hearing any sounds emanating from the entities. Long term observation of subjects exposed to the item reveals no lasting effects. Stereoscopic images viewed through the item appear three-dimensional.
HOLY FUCK I AM SCP 1715
>SCP-1715 is an anomalous entity that sporadically joins and integrates itself into small online communities such as message boards and wiki databases. SCP-1715 uses a different name on each website it joins; however, every recorded username chosen by the entity has either included the word "█████" or been thematically linked to ██████. All efforts to trace SCP-1715's source have failed. It is currently unknown whether SCP-1715 is a corporeal entity accessing the internet from a physical location or an incorporeal phenomenon that exists only on the internet itself.
>SCP-636 is a maintenance elevator at the ██████ ██████ Hotel located at [DATA EXPUNGED]. Unlike the other elevators in the building, SCP-636 contains a magnetic card reader, which when used with a specific card key will cause the elevator to move to a third sub-basement beneath the building. According to the building plan, there are only two sub-basements beneath the building, and the owner of the property was not aware of an elevator with magnetic card access.
Whenever any individual attempts to access this floor via SCP-636, the elevator appears to work normally. However, upon reaching the non-existent floor all contents of the elevator (including any personnel or remote monitoring equipment) will disappear. Exploration of the elevator shaft itself has yielded no useful information. While the shaft does extend to a third sub-basement level, there are only blank walls at that depth and video cameras placed within the shaft have shown no unusual activity when the elevator reaches the bottom.
Furthermore, SCP-636 will periodically move to the third sub-basement level on its own. Upon its return to ground floor the elevator car has occasionally contained anomalous objects as documented below.
>Description:SCP-1912 is a pocket watch dating from the years 18██-18██ (it is theorised that the watch likely took at least 15 years to complete). The watch is identical in style to those of █████████████ ███████; however, several components suggest that it was completed up to 5 years after his alleged death. There have been several minor modifications to the watch.SCP-1912 was discovered in the home of █████ ██████, a prominent member of [REDACTED], a small yet extremely militant environmentalist cult. █████ ██████ had converted his basement into a workshop and is presumed to have died of malnutrition shortly after making the modifications to SCP-1912.
>Through unknown means SCP-1912 constantly secretes a clear fluid at a varying rate, hereby referred to as SCP-1912-A. The fluid is identical in every way to nectar except for its primary anomalous effect. Due to the extremely complex nature of SCP-1912, requests to dismantle it and examine the mechanism have been denied.
Basically its a glove that that turns subjects into a puppeteer that controls people. I'm fine, but its disturbing.
Description: SCP-421 is an organism comprised entirely of driftwood and other oceanic waste. The exact configuration of the organism appears to be in constant flux, but typically consists of a centralized body of relatively tightly packed driftwood surrounded by a shoal of smaller organisms similar in appearance and behaviour to fish. Individual members of the shoal are regularly subsumed or created from the main body and have demonstrated no ability to reconfigure themselves while separated from the bulk of SCP-421. It is hypothesised that SCP-421 possesses a hive intelligence similar to that observed in social insects; members of the SCP-421 shoal are able to travel independently for ██ km, beyond which they lose integrity and are reduced to simple driftwood with no known anomalous properties.
>SCP-839 appears to be a species of annelid composed of sugar, flavouring and colouring. A microscopic label stating "CANDIED WORM" is found near each instance's posterior, followed by a smaller label stating the instance's "flavour". Each "flavour" is currently designated as SCP-839-x.
SCP-839 is generally found in temperate areas. SCP-839's diet mainly consists of decomposing organic matter, however when there is no decaying matter apparent SCP-839 may ingest live plant matter. SCP-839 sexually reproduces. Mating [REDACTED], followed by the egg hatching into a newborn instance of SCP-839.
When SCP-839 is ingested by any mammal, it will burrow through the stomach lining and towards a specialized organ. The choice of organ appears to be dependent on SCP-839's "flavour". SCP-839 will then attach itself to the organ and slowly ingest it. While the organ disappears, SCP-839 will change in form and chemical composition in order to match the organ. SCP-839 does not act as a perfect replacement, and other effects may occur. This process may take █ to ██ days to complete.
SCP-839 has an average lifespan of three years. Users of SCP-839 are recommended to replace their integrated instance with a new instance every two years.
>Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Instances of SCP-194 are to be kept in an aviary on the grounds on Site-43. The area around this aviary will be fenced in with no less than fifty (50) meters of space between the aviary itself and any part of the fence. SCP-194 is to be fed daily on dead rodents; discarded feathers from SCP-194 can be collected at the time of feeding. Only personnel that do not have a history of introversion or isolation may be tasked with feeding SCP-194. Instances of SCP-194-1 are to be kept in a locked chamber underground in Site-43. This chamber will be furnished with straw and a ceiling light to simulate the sun. SCP-194-1 is to be fed a diet identical to that of SCP-194 with the addition of feathers from SCP-194 on request. At no time may SCP-194-1 come into contact with SCP-194 unless SCP-194-1 has fully transformed into SCP-194. Personnel are forbidden to interact with SCP-194-1 outside of interviews and other events scheduled with Dr. ████████████. Personnel who have had unauthorized interactions with SCP-194 or SCP-194-1 must undergo mandatory psychiatric evaluation.
Description: SCP-307 is a creeping vine, similar in appearance to the common English ivy (Hedera helix), save for the presence of greenish thorns on the stems, and the tendency of the leaves to exhibit a purple hue. The vine puts down roots approximately every 30.5 cm (12 in). The roots can penetrate any porous material, but not metal. Any part of the plant not connected to a root system is to be considered dead and safe to examine up close.
SCP-307 appears to be carnivorous, and seems to exhibit some degree of intelligence (see Document 307-A). When in the presence of a warm-blooded animal (hereafter referred to as "the victim"), it grows at a startlingly rapid rate in the direction of the animal, often growing three vines at a time in what appears to be a flanking maneuver. Upon contact, SCP-307 appears to paralyze the victim, and then liquefy and drain all internal organs, musculature, and blood. The mechanisms by which it does this are presently unknown; they have, however, led to researchers calling it "spider ivy".
I just get D-class personnel to eat cake, my job is great.
It just multiplies every 24 hours if it's not eaten.
It takes 80 days to render the planet uninhabitable.
If I go a few days without working, I can just get a bunch of people to eat cake.
>SCP-467 appears to be an empty phone booth, and was found in [DATA EXPUNGED]. The SCP Foundation discovered it due to a legend about a 'haunted phone' that used to reside inside the booth, although testing has revealed that the phone was of no importance, and the effects came from the booth itself. Even after the phone was removed, the booth itself remained a place of superstition before being recovered by [DATA EXPUNGED].
>Although there is nothing extraordinary about the booth itself, so long as a human and a communications device are in the booth at the same time, its effects are easily observed.
>Communications devices receive a message from somebody the user knows. This call shows no preference for friends, family, loved ones, co-workers, or even just acquaintances. Curiously enough, later examination of phone records or call logs reveal that this call never happened, even though it may be observed and recorded. The 'caller' has never even picked up the phone, in the process, suggesting SCP-467 has a powerful form of telepathy.
>These calls divulge information that the user previously did not know, most commonly secrets and confessions. These calls range from insignificant to life-changing (see addendum). A single user may use the phone booth more than once, provided that at least twenty-four hours have passed since their last use. It is suggested that the booth not be used for personal reasons.
It's a cool phone booth, I'm safe.
Item #: SCP-868
Object Class: Euclid-nuntii
SCP-868 is a meme that resulted from a memory improvement therapy designed by Prometheus Labs, Inc. Surviving documents indicate that the researchers responsible for creating SCP-868 were unaware of its memetic properties until shortly before the facility was destroyed. The process and materials necessary for administering this treatment have not been recovered, although recovered materials do not indicate that its creation required anomalous items.
>SCP-043 appears to be a vinyl copy of "The White Album" by the Beatles; however, upon closer inspection, the record has no grooves. In spite of this, the record will play from start to finish regardless of the starting position of the needle.
>When the twenty-ninth track is reached, instead of playing "Revolution 9", the disc stops spinning and faint breathing can be heard. Occasionally the entity responsible for the breathing will speak in a male voice. The entity will respond to questions and shows a profound encyclopedic knowledge of the music industry, musical theory, and obscure trivia about many bands and artists. However, the entity refuses to answer questions regarding The Beatles or its own personal details.
What the fuck, it's just a sentient Beatles album.
Reroll, come on.
Description: SCP-883 is a large fixed frame beehive contained in a wooden shed approximately three meters tall, one meter wide, and two meters deep on the outside. The inside of SCP-883 appears to be much larger than the shed's outer dimensions, with layers of honeycomb on the walls of the hive surrounding passages that extend for at least eight kilometers from the entrance. The interior of the hive is arranged in a maze-like fashion, although no dead ends have yet been encountered. The bees inside SCP-883 do not match any known species of genus Apis. Most disturbingly, bees found further into SCP-883 appear to be very different from normal honeybees. Bees found more than one and a half kilometers into SCP-883 possess one pair of wings more than normal honeybees. Bees found more than two kilometers in are highly aggressive and possess a toxic sting that has failed to respond to any treatment administered so far. Several specimens recovered from more than seven kilometers into SCP-883 do not appear to be insects at all, possessing [DATA EXPUNGED].
The honey extracted from SCP-883 also varies in composition depending on how far in from the entrance it was retrieved. Honey retrieved from more than one kilometer in has mild narcotic effects, and honey retrieved from more than four kilometers is not safe for human consumption due to high levels of arsenic. It is not known where the bees get food or water from, nor has it been determined what supplies them with nectar for making their honey.
Addendum 883-A: Due to the events of [DATA EXPUNGED], travel more than 6.5 kilometers into SCP-883 is forbidden.
>...For the rest of its life cycle, SCP-371 hunts and apparently filters salts and sediments from ocean water in order to grow up to 2.5 meters in size. The virus' average life cycle is 60 days, although the oldest contained specimen is currently 109 days old.
Fuck, a giant virus. Well, let's hope the scientists let me take them apart or something and not eat me alive.
Object Class: Euclid
Description: SCP-778 is an area of land of undetermined size located in [REDACTED] National Park. SCP-778 is currently defined on all maps, signs, and other media representing it as a hiking trail leading to a destination known as "Paradise Falls". Whether "Paradise Falls" exists is currently unknown and perhaps unknowable.
Right?! reading the interview, they had two squads of guys, an anti-tank rifle, and also fired over 600 rounds from a .50 into it, this thing is insane. Like an enderman from some fucked up DOOM reality.
SCP-068 is a wire stick figure, 9.8 cm tall, made of an unknown metal. The figure is composed of a single wire looping back to the center. The wire itself appears to have been bent numerous times in multiple places.
When an electric current is introduced to SCP-068, it becomes animate, moving about on its own. SCP-068's "joints" are where a normal human being's would be. Once activated, SCP-068 begins to search for any metallic material. Once metal has been found, SCP-068 will begin to knead it and pull a thin strip of metal off. SCP-068 will then construct another figure similar to itself. The newly-created figure will begin to knead the remaining metal alongside the original, creating new figures, which in turn, produce more replicas.