>never left home without purpose
>can't go out because THEY KEEP ASKING A LOT OF FUCKING QUESTIONS
>can't sit on bed because they just keep asking, why I do it, what's wrong with me
>need to give daily reports from my life to my parents
>need to have always an explanation for every action I take, that's why I try to come up with most logical scenario, before taking every non ordinary action
>can't express emotions, because they will ask and ask and ask "WHAT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY, WHY ARE YOU SAD?"
>can't be happy nor sad, need to keep emotional balance all the time
>if I ask a non ordinary question, they ask me "Why I ask such questions" and ignore me or get mad
>if I get ill, they will tell me millions of times that it is my fault
>I control computer at least, but need to hide all non ordinary pages and shit that draws attention, because they'll get curious "WHY ARE YOU BROWSING ANON? CAN I TAKE A LOOK????!!!!!"
>literally watching behind me whole life
>asking for permissions for everything
>learning computer science 24/7 to buy own home and leave this fucking hell
I CAN"T STAND IT ANYMORE, WHAT DO?
Sounds like you are doing what most people would do, learn a skill (to get a job) and get the hell out.
You are likely a weird ass kid. You're gonna like computer science and the people in in it.
You gotta learn the lesson your parents are teaching you. You constantly have to explain your behavior over every frivolous thing? That's what a subordinate does to a superior. You feel controlled and limited by an oppressive atmosphere in which putting a toe out of line gives you immediate, extremely hostile results? Subordinate-superior.
What happens when you ask a question? More hostility and dismissal. This is the grooming stage of manipulation, where the power dynamic is asserted and you're coaxed into making subordinate behaviors.
You ever want to turn back into a man, you learn to play the dismissal game. I'd stay away from hostility for now, you're too bitchified, but start turning their questions into jokes. Agree-and-amplify: "why did you do that?" "because I enjoy your suffering", shit like that. Instead of answering, you make it clear that them and their positions and questions are not worth serious consideration. It's what they do to you, and you'll notice how effective it is, so play that game right back.
It'll be hard, because it takes balls to stick up to someone so firmly embedded in your mind as being above you. Not allowing yourself to fall for these traps is something that gets more and more frightening the further you let it slide, but it's the first terrifying step to not only handling your family, but the mountains of bullshit people will throw at you on a daily basis.
But mostly, yes, try and get the fuck out. I can say from personal experience: family members who do this are not worth living with.
stop posting on the internet about how the people who feed you, give you a bed to sleep in and a roof to live under are so impossible to live with.
seriously, not trying to bash you, and I get its annoying. but if its too much - get a job and move out. if not - guess its not THAT bad.
life is about choices, and every choice has its downsides. you just have to stop going all teeny about it and make the choice.
Dont be a neet. Dont an hero. Take advantage of them by taking their food , money or whatever they give you. Say thank you and shit. Study , get a job and make a life withyour own rules. Im in the same situation. Lov ya
Grow up amd understand where they are coming from. If the worst thing in your life is a lack of privacy then as a 26 year old chemo patient suffering from a degenerative autoimmune disease I envy you.
That's unfortunate. You should at least have a bit of privacy. Stand up to them when you feel like they're treating you like that.
Don't disrespect them though. That would be a one way trip to homelessville.
Step 1: Get a fucking job (you're 19 now, shit up and do it)
Step 2: As soon as possible, move the fuck out of there, and start living your own fucking life.
Step 2.5: If you can't afford to live alone, try to rent something with a friend, be roommates.
Step 3: If they keep controlling you after you've left, tell them to fuck off. Simple as that.
You must not understand. Op has literally no freedom while he is looking to escape that hell .he's learning a skill so he can leave its not like he isn't trying but for some fucking reason you're looking down on him implying the fucker is lazy. Gtfo faggot.
He's trying to get a job in computer science by learning it 24/7 retard. it takes time after he gets a shitty job he just wont magically make enough money to leave you fucking idiot.
It is possible to live somewhere without owning it, I believe it's called "renting".
Overbearing parents are a bitch, but they are just trying to look out for you. My advice is to move out asap, they will probably still try to monitor you, but at least it's not all the time.
Either that or get into drugs or self harm, we can't control most of the things that hurt us, but at least you know you did that by choice.
Just get a full time job.
Whenever you want to go out just say 'work'
Save 500/month because you dobt pay rent
Save for a year
Use cash to move to another city in a studio apartment and continue working full time.