Don't want to bother anyone I know IRL with this stuff I've been feeling, so i' guess i'll shit up this thread a bit.
>be 22, virgin male >at work, at shit bakery >coworker is a senior in high scool >just the two of us in the store, nothing to really do >start talking about the single life >I open up to much and make myself feel depressed >people tell me i'm good looking/ average look >think this is a lie and that I'm ugly and unattractive, since I was never able to get with any crushes I had >all these past emotions of feeling inadequate arise >stop talking immediately after realizing I talked to much >regret saying anything >coworker is sorry for asking me to many questions I could care less about the questions she asked but it did feel like prying at my past. And I prefer not to talk about my past with people after self diagnosing myself with avoident personality disorder. I've been also trying to better my self image when it comes to my hair since i was teased and made of my hair when i was younger. So now I let my hair grow out. My coworker made fun of my hair saying she just wants to cut if off and it looks like a birds nest. I could care less what she thinks but its so damn hard to suffer in silence when such a thing cuts at an old wound. She also keep asking how big my dick is and I just replied with saying I think thats something personal and refused to tell her. Sorry for ranting but sometimes things just pent up and I have no one really in my life at the moment to spill these things to. I have family but I feel as though they would just ridicule me and shame me and say you have a good like why are YOU complaining. Also I dont feel worthy of anyone. I've been trying my damnest to flirt with cute girls that come into the store but at the end of the day I have this underlining nagging feeling that I'm not worthy. I'm affraid to talk/flirt with anyone my age cuz I feel like a failure. Thank you anons.
>>680230179 i used to feel like this too. super depressing. i got a girlfriend. she picked my shit up off the ground and made me more or less a normal person. she asks me why i love her and i always tell her the same generic things, but the real reason is that she made me feel like a person again. I never thought about loving someone, not even my family for quite a while. my point is, you will find someone. and anon it feels good. you may not feel it at first. but give it time and you will realize that the thought of going back is painful. also try not to dump problems on people thats not how you make friends.
>>680230247 how about getting out of high school? act the way you fucking want people will realize how retarded they were once you get to college. if they dont they will have a hard time in life. easy as that.
>>680231055 Usually when i talk to people about some problems i have, they often bring up shit like "well at least you dont live in africa/middle east/some other war and disease ridden shithole" or some variation of that. In all honesty it just makes me feel worse, as if i cant even talk about my problems and should just stop feeling sad. It really sucks and i fucking hate it. I dont care if I sound like some ungrateful dickwad, but thats really how i feel. I just wish some people were more understanding.
I got fired from my job because I missed work and had no way of informing them I couldn't be there completely by accident. Have 4 months of money saved up to live on then I'm out. Considering living in my car in Denver for a little bit at least get high all day while I hate myself.
>>680230961 Its all good, these are all self imposed/generated problems I've made for myself. I saw a therapist in the last semester of sophmore year in college before I left. She said she thought I was in a good mindset (which I feel I am) but perhaps its the environment that was generating negative emotions for me (which I still kinda feel might be true). Hell I might have to just pack my bags, find a cute russian wife and head to Australia cuz why not and call it gg. Thanks for the reply anon.
>>680231317 This was me >>680230452 Just thought I would let you know I'm not white. I have gypsy ancestory so I look like an odd mix between arab/mexican. I live in a very white area and have people stop me on the street and ask where I'm from or occasionally say something racist. People automatically assume I'm adopted because my mother is white.
I do understand to a certain extent. I've had girls turn me down because of my skin colour or they didnt want people to think they had an immigrant boyfriend (My family hasnt been immigrants for hundreds of years)
>>680231484 losing hope in you for what? that you wont find a girlfriend? if your parents are losing hope in you for that, they should be ashamed /b/ro youre graduating. im fucking proud of you. you know how many people dont go through with school? a fucking lot. i knew a bunch of drop outs they are all fucking losers or went to the military. fuck getting a gf rgiht now. find a decent job after you graduate or get one in the summer. live your life. you can fucking do it.
22 yo, student of university, probably will never get a job in my town, only few friends, never got a gf, still virgin, I'm an only child. Feeling lonely as hell. Trying to find someone on dating sites, but I'm still finding weird girls. Or uncommunicatives or freaks. I hate myself for that who I am.
>>680232529 That'll I'll ever truly achieve my dreams. They don't fully know what those dreams are, but they're starting to think I'll never 'get it together,' and I see this in how my mom in particular loves comparing me to *everyone else* in their success. Cousins doing this, cousins doing that, etc and I'm still here...27 and jobless (though still looking).
Oddly enough, my parents never wanted me to go to college. They wanted me to join the military instead, and they forced me to do so after I finished HS in 2007. Well, I got in, and washed out...then washed out again a year later. I can never give them the soldier-son they really want, no matter what I do.
>>680231753 This feels bad Like every where My mom and dad just go through a divorce and I don't know if I should avoid my dad completely cause he is a cock but he acts like he loves me. I always feel bad when I avoid him. My mom says he's just manipulating me like he did to her. Btw he had an affair with another woman What do?
its ok to let some things out. but try to keep deep things in my man. if you find a girl that can take some things in your life take a chance and go for it. im not saying tell her the whole thing, but let a normal progression happen. trust me if you hold things back they come out naturally. there is hope. actually its not hope its truth. it will happen. if you find a girl thats there for the long haul she will accept you for whatever you are. and hopefully vice versa. (experience: me and my girl she dumps heavy shit on me all the time that would scare the shit out of people. i take it and get to understand and know her better.)
I wrote this in a earlier thread but ill show yall
>Our relationship was perfect talked every day and night >Had to move away for military but i we’ll be back together in 5 months >First month is everything is great >Tells me never to stress about her and focus on work >I always stress about her cause she was so far >After a month she becomes a little distant and stressed out from work >I understand and giver her space >Her vacation day is approved and we plan out our weekend >She flies in and i have never been so happy to see someone >Hug her kiss he and tell her i love her, never let go of her hand till we get to the hotel
>>680234015 >Never let go of her through the night >Leave next morning to go back to base >Leave as soon as possible that day to see her again >Shes waiting for me in the room when i arrive fireworks in my chest again >Had a great day and afternoon >Take her to nice restaurant, walk on the beach >cold but she enjoyed it >She talks to me about marriage so we can be together at my next unit >I say yes and we’ll figure it out on saturday >Never let go of her again that night >Love her with all my heart
>>680233425 I didnt play them until bloodborne came out and they reminded me of why i love games in the first place
It was the first time in years i actually escaped to another world
DS1 feels like a journey through depression or some spritiual shit
You come out of relative safety to a creul and crushing world where everything is out to get you, and you have to fight through it regardless, sounds a bit cringe but you kinda have to play it to get what im on about
>>680234101 >Wake up and she’s still in my arms >Take her to breakfast >Have another great day took her to the zoo (she loves animals) >Take her to lunch >Take her to stores buy her a few things and just enjoying my life >Take nap wake up with her telling me how much she loves me >She asks if she can see her female friend at a tailgating event for a concert i said why not >On the drive there she said i should get my own beer so i'm not rude >I say are you going to drink >She says she’ll have 1 or 2 >Show up get greeted by her friend and have a good time talking to everyone >Everything seems to be perfect
>>680234150 >Going to leave the event case we don't have tickets >No big deal >She seems angry for some reason >Get back to the truck she's angry and i'm too drunk to drive >Get in the truck on the way back to the hotel she's angry cause i don't let her have a good time >Drunkenly ask how did she not and she says cause you got drunk and i couldn't drink >I said you could have told me and i would have sobered up to drive >She says she wants to be alone and independent >I get angry and start asking why >Ask why we can't talk it out >She says she wants to see the world and i said i'll be moving to my next unit across the US >She says she wants to see more >I said i'll be moving every 3 years >Get back to the hotel >Im pissed and she's pissed >She start packing saying she's staying with friend (concert friend) >Beg her not to leave >Never seen her this mad >I start to tear up asking her to please stay and talk it out >Start yelling how everyone has left me >(parents haven’t talked to me in years, rest of family hates me cause i’m in the military and not a >doctor or lawyer) >She leaving and i say fuck this and start packing up >In my blind and drunken rage i check out and see her in the parking lot waiting for taxi
>>680233412 I went through something similar (not every similar, but similar enough). Try your best to play the neutral side. Even if your father did things wrong I'm sure he still loves you and it would hurt him to see you go. It will also hurt you to throw him away because he made one mistake. I almost threw away my relationship with my father after my mother manipulated me from a young age. It is a big choice to remove someone from your life and not one that should be rushed. Think things through yourself and don't let either side decide for you.
>>680234213 >I say i'm driving back to base >Way to drunk to drive >Have open bottle of wine in hand >She says don't do that >I don't listen and get in my truck and leave >Drinking wine and talking to her friend about what just happened >Her friend tells me to stop driving >I said no and keep driving to get back to base >Hour drive later >Don't make it base stop at bar and run a 80 dollar tab up on beer >Drink 18+ beers and can't walk
>>680232849 my only advice is to move on. tell them you arent everyone else. you arent you cousins, you arent a soldier boy. finish up school. stay with them for as long as you need to and do your thing. im sure youve already had this conversation with them, if not you should. if they really do love you they will understand. but you do have to get your ass in gear and do something. it doesnt have to be your dream. whatever it is. it defiantly isnt gonna be their dream. its gonna be your path. its going to be what you want. where life whats you to go. but you control it. and only you can control it by your actions. if you want to stay washed up thats on you. but if you do want to prove them wrong you need to actually prove it. your parents love you. they want the best. and the best is your best, or even just something you kind of feel you want at the moment. get it done friend. you can do it. me >>680232529
>>680234268 >Ask base bros to help back to base >They pick me up from bar >See one missed call and text asking if i'm at the hotel >Say i'm at the base cause i drove her >Pass out >Next morning i see a text asking me to drive her to airport and maybe talk about last night >Remember most of what happened >Begin to feel like a major dick >Pick her up and she's so mad >Won't even look at me >Wont pay attention to anything i'm saying >Say last night i was out of control and a dick and and ass >I say i'm sorry 1000+ times
>>680234485 Wrote her on face book cause she blocked me everywhere else saying this
Dear anon, I'm not writing you to try to change anything because i’m not god and the past is done. I'm writing you to say what I did was extremely foolish and ignorant and i’m lucky i’m even alive now, let alone typing this. I could have killed myself or even worse killed someone else. I should have calmed down and listened to my friends and to you. I shouldn’t have not gotten so blindly mad and acted so rash. I regret getting in my truck driving and it’ll hang over my head for longer than you know. I know you’re still mad at me and I don’t blame you, i’m mad and ashamed of myself. I lost respect for myself, from my friends and from you. I’m gonna stop drinking till I know im mature enough to handle it because as of right now I proved nothing. We left on bad terms which as my fault and I just want to make amends. I lost you as a girlfriend but i’m not trying to lose you as a friend.
>Be awake at 2:30am >See feels thread on /b >Muster up courage to talk about trying to kill myself last year and the difficulty of life with scars on your wrists >Comment is ignored >Try to let a black guy know I can relate in part to his experiences because of my skin colour >He calls me a fucking liar. >Feel sad and tired
my mom is dying, my crush is getting married, i get bullied everyday. to bony to fight back. i feel depressed everyday and the one person that says theyre here for me is my crush and never really is. i feel like shit when i talk to her too. Everyday i want to hurt myself. doubt any of you care but whatever
>>680234750 im going to send this last message to her in about a week or so
Hey anon, i’m writing you to say I hope you can still forgive me for what i've done. I really can't get you and that night off my mind. I don’t remember what I said and why I let my emotions control me, but knowing my drunk self, it was just a bunch of nonsense and gibberish just to keep you from leaving. I wasn’t myself that night, I never would have said/done any of that if I wasn’t so blind with anger, stressed out and drunk. You know that. That weekend was supposed to help you and I de-stress, but I messed up and just destroyed everything. I should have sobered up and let you stay at the other hotel, I should have listened to you and not be so stubborn, maybe if I would have, we could have talked it out in the morning when we weren’t so frustrated with each other. I know you want to be independent and on your own but is there anyway we can maybe give this a second try? I have been contemplating this for a while whether or not I should ask you. I realize i’m putting it all on the line asking this. I deeply think we could improve for a stronger relationship since we can see each other in person when you report, allowing us to understand each other better than before. I know i’m not perfect, but i'm willing to give it my all to make it work.You even said yourself that the distance is not a problem, I understand what i’ve done wrong and how I can improve, I can have better communication and give you your space, and to be an overall better person with you. You know how we felt about each other and I don't see why we can’t get that back. People fight and these things happen. I hope you can forgive me and give this a second thought and maybe we can try again.
>>680234654 Military life is near impossible to have a meaningful relationship, it's the reason marriage has such a negative stigma man, out of my 4 years I never saw an extraordinary relationship just people putting up with each other. If you want to make it a career good luck. t. divorced marine
>>680233433 My best wishes to you and her. Thanks for the advice anon helps alot. Its just the wait to find her just sucks, I guess I have to exercise my patience better. Thanks again though means alot.
then you are hanging out with the wrong people. im in computer science and in a school where there are ~3 black kids. one of which is in computer science. he doesnt 'act black' or thuggy. he acts like a person. he makes racist jokes about other races and people make jokes about blacks. hes a fucking person. we are all fucking people. these girls who like thugs or whatever, arent girls you want to be with anyway. if you want a quick fuck or something. throw on a bandana and act like a gang member fuck them and move on, cause thats what they are gonna do. they dont give a shit about you. people see people as people. dickheads and assholes see colors, and races. sure everyone has the racist stereotypes cause we were brought up with them. but its 2016. people can have their racism. but only the people who let it show are the weak ones. personally, yes i have the initial racism. but because im not single fucking minded i get past it. youre hanging out with the wrong people, and chasing the wrong girls anon.
Sometimes I feel like I have to undermine the entire established order and conceal myself from onlookers for any sense of relief. The amount of stress that puts on my psyche is unnatural but it persists even whenever I occupy more conventional social positions, as subtly unnerving as they may be. Basically I can't determine if I'm just a product of a social engineering project gone horribly wrong and if my thoughts are of my own creation. Also I'd like a girlfriend to dissect but most aren't nearly as creepy as I'd prefer them to be.
>be me >be chatting with 6/10 girl living hundreds of miles away >incredible connection >she's so nice and sees past the wreck that i am >we talk and talk, get closer, to the point where she never stops texting and calling >her grandpa dies, i send flowers to her office to cheer her up >she loves it, gets even closer >weeks go by, i finally confess that even if we haven't met yet i have a crush on her >huge deal for me, who has always been obsessed by appearances >she's not that pretty but there's such a connection >offer her to spend a weekend in her city >she agrees, we start to make plans >two weeks before said weekend she starts to be distant >tells me it's because of her job, plus she has some friends in town so she's exhausted >one day i insist and she finally tells me that one of her friends is an ex of hers >he wants to get back together >she "is confused and doesn't want a relationship anyway" >she has to bring him to the airport the next evening >nononononotthisone.gif >can't sleep >f*ck it, i take the car >whatthefuckamidoingwithmylife.jpg >drive 800km within the night and wait to surprise her not far from her office >stalker.webm >she's surprised and confused >i tell her she shouldn't even consider getting back with this idiot who treated her like crap >ask her to wait for when we meet and then take a decision >we talk for five minutes then she admits that she already is back with him, actually >whatthefuckjusthappened.mkv >i leave after 10 minutes, sleep at the hotel, drive back the next day >she texts me saying she had felt "trapped" when i came to see her >she says what i said was unexpected >"but i told you i had a crush on you" >"yeah but i thought you were kidding and i thought we were just friends" >mfw i drove 1600km and spent 200€ to get rejected in 10 minutes >mfw i'm not convincing even when i say things clearly >mfw i'm in another level of friendzone >mfw there's no hope for me
off yourself after 5 years? that sounds like a terrible idea. i will get behind any other idea you have but that one. seriously. killing yourself means nothing, and proves only that you failed. its a fucking terrible idea. but it wont happen cause i got your back. you do you. and killing yourself isnt an option. sorry
>>680230179 If she's asking about your dong then you're doing something right she seems interested in you, you should bang her to get rid of that v card then everything will seem easier from there (women wise)
The girl I fell in love with tried to kill herself shortly after Christmas, after she ended things with me. Spoke to her a few times since then always ending with an argument. She moved back in with her grand parents and I haven't spoken to her in two months.
I just want to know you're okay, I still love you.
I don't know the neurological mechanisms of sadness and I feel autistic for being more curious about that rather than environmental causes for them. If anyone can fill me in on why everyone's such a crybaby please do.
>Be me >Prom coming up >Only girl I liked and friends with got boyfriend >ShootMe.png >Ask other female friend I talk to >Did in front of green screen >Had flowers >"Sorry" >Last thing she said to me >HitByTruck.webm >Teacher asks her why she reject me >DontAsk.gif >She won't go with me b/c she doesn't like "school events" not because she doesn't like me.
Does this make sense /b/? I can't fathom a girl not wanting to go to prom. Is she full of shit? I think so. If that were the case, why can't she say it to my face?
Gf dumped me saturday night, said our relationship wasn't enough, and she was afraid I'd never love her. I was just too afraid to say it, but yeah I loved her, and she wouldn't believe me if I told her now.
>>680230247 >mfw I'm black and I think people like you are full of crap. Boohoo you aren't 'respected' enough or you feel like you somehow deserve everyone else's respect because you're black. The real world is a nasty place, life is unfair, like >>680230452 said, it's not a competition on who's life is the worst. There's probably thousands of white people who have it worse than you, but how would you know? You're just as racist as you proclaim white people are.
but, only person your failing is you. especially if you do that. trust me... you may think youre too old or whatever. you really arent. you really arent. shit is gonna fall into place and work itself out, but not by itself. you need to give it a push. not just a little push. a big, running start, full bodied push. saying you keep failing isnt going to help the problem. and maybe its not your fault. maybe its your parents fault for not helping you along the way. having things they want you to do rather than supporting things you want. believe me you can do it. ive failed myself 100 times before. hell im still failing. but fuck if i cant find the good in either information or knowledge from failing. I find opportunities like jobs and things that are going to get me out of this. and ive hung my whole life on a few of them working out, but they never do. So i stick them on my resume. I stick the knowledge i gain in my head. such as, not to hang your whole life on one fucking thing or even many things. hang it on a sturdy branch that you know will always be there. without sounding too cheesy: yourself you are always going to be there for you. and you are the only person who you need to believe in you. and if there is no you. there is no you. so my point is, dont give up, because you need you.
>25 >never had a close friend or girlfriend >feel very alienated all the time >constantly making huge effort to try to fit in >try all sorts of things >fake interest in things, start new hobbies, learn languages, travel, >nothing seems to work >find it really difficult to connect with people >on the rare occasion i come across someone i really like, they don't like me >feel like i'm missing out on the most important part of life i.e. other people >stay strong on the outside, don't let it visibly affect me, but i often find myself crying at nights before i sleep
i start my first 'real' job in the summer, maybe that'll be the game-breaker
>>680237100 faggot, everyone needs to vent somehow. this is a great place to do it because its anonymous. nobody knows who we are, just what is making us sad. sure, faggots like you will judge us, but others will stand by us, and that is what's important: none of us are alone. we're all to some degree or another in this together.
>8th grade >Just moved to a new school because out of district >nofriends >1st day of school, meet guy, call him eugene >eugene is a good friend, helps me get into a social circle >meet best friend "adam" in this circle >thick as thieves >make more friends through these guys eventually building a fulfilling social circle >9th grade, good friend "Naomi" gets dumped by boyfriend, cries on my shoulder during pep-rally >next day, she act like nothing happened, hurts >weeks pass, and i get these guys on steam and skype, daily afterschool ritual >just after christmas, father is hospitalized, organ failure >he's in the icu for next 2.5mo, slowly getting better >it put in general, then phys rehab, and comes home >JOUYS DAY >slowly getting better, finals just around the corner, I'm going to make him proud. >father dies in his sleep memorial day, finals that tuesday >over the course of finals week, family flies in from Michigan >make my father proud, finish grade nine, 4.5gpa >10th grade starts, living with mom, mother is overcome by giref, im late most days >idgaf >school does, shortly after semester, school gives me warning for truancy court >i had been ditching my detentions and subsequent saturday schools >wait a sec, I turn 16 in a month, would mom let me drop out? >yup >do so >now I am nothing but time, free daylight, begin wandering wilderness. >it's so beautiful, and its a place where I can be alone with my feelings >I weep everyday in the woods, and I feel great when i come home >become distant with skype pals, still talkt, but intermittently >become dysfucntional with mother and brother >move to Grandpa's, who Dad was living with when he died >get back in touch with with adam, naomi, and unmentioned friend alan. >we have a grand 'ol time >naomi dumps boyfriend, boyfriend asks >"who ya gonna date, now? Alan?" >"I just might!" >alan eavesdropped. Ends up dating naomi, whom I've always had a passing affection for
>>680234485 this is my greatest fear. A girl can just up and leave out of your life with no warning. You could be the happiest man in the world and one day she decides that you aren't right for her. You don't realise how much you miss her till she is no longer yours
>said that the relationship was doomed to fail, they just werent meant to be partners. >asshole mcfuckface goes to alan and told him i said: "The relationship is going to be over in 6 weeks and im going to date naomi" >alan is pissed, and naomi doesnt hear about it. >i talk to both, and we agree to get asshole mcfuckface out of the group. >bring in a surrogate, whom i believed could be a longtime skype pal. >surrogate is called brony fatass >resents me and envies my friendship with naomi, decides that im going down. >doesnt do it like a man, decides to talk shit bout me to my friends, and make them resent me. >uses jokes like "im so gonna pound nicole while her b/f is out of town" >insists that i meant it >friends dont corroborate with me, instead belive what brony says on the spot >all mega pissed >2 irl friends dont wanna talk to me, brony wont be in a call with me so icant defend myself, and other efriend is wary of me. >thanks faggot
>>680240543 Really? You think losing someone you love is better than never having someone? Yes you do get to cling onto someone, but no you can rarely ever ever get them back, that is what hurts the most. You have your heart ripped from your chest, they stand there eating it while staring you directly in the eyes. Your whole world is ripped away and all you can do is watch your partner get better soon and start living the life again. While all you can do is scrape up whatever you can and involuntarily reminisce on the good times.
>>680240535 you got plenty of time bro best of luck to you >>680240545 yeah :/ funny thing is she isnt a slut or anything, she was sweet, she was my life. I was there for her and she was there for me. Until he came around and messed with her head. That bastard told her to stay away from me
>>680241996 Nah steroids for me. I'm a 29 yr old suicide survivor who's spent the last ~15 years being fucked up by drink, drugs, and mental illness. I no longer fear death so fuck it. By 30 I plan to be a huge ripped freak.
>>680240690 it's kind of a hard story to tell,, but here goes.
some relevent backstory, my sister is about 19 years older than I am with 6 kids, oldest is a year and a half younger than I am, so is in the grade below me. anyway, my neice, C, had kinda wanted me to go to her school for awhile since they had a robotics team, and I planned on going into engineering, but my mother was never too sure about it, so I went to a private school my first 3 years of highschool. after my junior year, C and I somehow convinced my mother to let me move in with them so I could go to school there.
after moving up there it was a little awkward before I actually knew anybody, but I did make friends fairly quickly, and they were ACTUAL friends, ones that I did stuff outside of school with, shared actual interests with (not many engineering types at the private school) and were just really cool people I could be myself around. anyway, the robotics team, I was a part of the design team. the leader of the design team, L, is probably the hardest I've fallen for a girl, and honestly, I still can't seem to get her out of my head. more on that later. anyway, the team progressed through the season really well, won awards and all that shit, and made it into the world competition. that's where that image comes in: it was something like a 12 hour overnight drive from there to the location of the competition, and we all rode in a charter bus like that pic. in fact, I was sitting in the back seat next to the restroom, so the center seat in that pic.
the pic just reminds me of all the awesome, stupid, and funny shit we did over the course of that week. it was amazing and I don't know if I'll ever experience anything quite like it again. anyway, I was hoping to actually ask L out at the end of the year party, and be together the summer before college started (we were both seniors).
>>680242656 so, the end of the school year comes, and the school threw an overnight party at Dave & Buster or whatever it's called, (just for the seniors) and that was a grand old time wherein I got to hang out with L, discovered another girl I sat next to in english had a pretty serious crush on me, (she wasn't bad, but I had L in the front of my mind most of the time) but it was still a good time. L and I were actually fairly good friends, she was pretty into anime and got me into Gurran Lagann and some other good shows, and was smart (number 1 in the class actually). one thing though that had been in my mind for awhile, was the fact that at the end of the year, my mother may make me move back home. something I didn't want to do because I didn't want to lose all my friends. at the party I was pretty sure I wouldn't be staying there much longer, but hoped I'd somehow be able to.
well, shit happened, and the DAY after the fucking party I was headed home. couple weeks later, the team threw an end of the year party so I got to go to that, but only because I still had stuff in sisters house. so, I got to spend a night at one of the peoples house, ended up sharing a king sized bed with like 3 people (no homo) and it was overall a fantastic time. following the overnight, I had to go to sisters to finish packing, then to the actual party, which was the last time I saw L and I don't think I'll ever forget that moment. after that, I got in the car, and we drove home (a 6 hour drive). honestly, I think I cried myself to sleep pretty much every night for like 8 months. since then I've improved, but I've not been able to go back to visit, and L and I don't talk a whole lot anymore either...
sorry for the shitty story and all the details I've missed, but I think I got the idea across.
Holy fuck I miss Laurel though... Everyone else to, but her most of all...
>>680244026 There isn't a point, there is no congratulations end game roll credits to life. Why not accomplish something in life that you can feel fulfillment and maybe general happiness during our lives. You are right in the end it doesn't matter if you are a serial killer the guy who cured cancer or just a virgin NEET but why not in the few years we live just enjoy it.
I feel like im stuck in an endless loop being consumed by three emotions: rage, despair, and bleakness. I go back and forth between them, but they last longer each time. Just when i feel im about to break, feel like im about to just stop caring and rage, i fall into nothing. I can't even form my words correctly and this probably sounds pretty angsty. Im just going to get wasted and listen to some music. There's so many things i want to say, so many thoughts i want to voice. Only one can i find the words for... Out of all the things i wanted in life, all the things i had hoped to achieve... She was the only one I ever came close to, but perhaps thats just my pride. I doubt she was ever mine even for a second. I can't keep the words going, these mad ramblings, the soliloquy of an utter fool...
What are we? What is consciousness? If every atom in our brain is separated, do we die? Are our thoughts ceased? And what happens if we put each atom back together the way it was, would we still think? What is it to be alive and to be dead? (religion aside of course)
This picture gets to me. Like, those towers stood side by side for 27 years. They were twins. I guess i just get wrapped up in the sentiment, I know that they are just buildings, that they are stoic towers of steel, but the thought of losing your only peer and just to be left standing there, waiting to fall... there is a metaphor somewhere in there.
>>680244515 it's been forever, and she's 12 hours away at a fairly prestigious university, and I'm just trying to make my way though a 2 year degree at a community college because I don't have enough money for university, and because I could never get past entrance exams. my only good year of grades was my senior year, and that was because of her, both her encouragement and just her presence.
we haven't really texted in awhile, when I tried she seemed pretty busy...
I want to go, but I just... I don't know... there's a pic out there that perfectly describes how I feel, you probably know the one, the guy afraid to text the girl...
I've been alone for going on 8 years now, my last real relationship ended in total shambles. It destroyed me. And I've been alone. I finally met someone else. I've fallen in love with her. I told her. But for various reasons we can't be together and it's tearing me apart. It's been so long since I've felt these feels. I simply can't handle having this much love inside me for someone and not being able to be with her everyday.My heart is breaking. Feels bad man.
I feel so empty. I still have my parents, but i've been becoming more and more reclusive. I try talking to my friends, even girls. But i've been hating myself more and more. There was this one girl, who I've been flirting with back and forth for a year or so now, but whenever I feel like I have a chance with her, she justs moves onto another guy. This has happened three times, and I know i'm being played, yet, I still fall for it everytime. Were pretty good friends too, Should i confront her about leading me and other guys on so often? I don't know man, I just want to sit in quietness and not have to think. But I still think about her. What's wrong with me /b/?
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