What do you like to do to enjoy yourself, /b/?
>I like to in parks and lie down in the grass
>I like to listen to chill music
>i like to jump rope
>i like to cook
Nothing. At this point I'm considering to an hero, but I know I won't because it'd cause my parents endless suffering. I mostly daydream about dying in some sort of unintentional way - hey, maybe that's something I enjoy.
This is >>680197209
I worked out and went to work today. It's not like I don't do shit. I have amazing friends, an amazing family, a good job and I'm well-educated. It's just that nothing makes me happy. This has been going on for years. It's not about distressing.
I'm seeing a pscyhologist, so I'm in therapy. I'm giving it an honest shot. Tbh, it's my last lifeline.
do you really know who you are?
are you doing all of this to make everybody around you happy?
don't waste your life. if all of this make you unhappy. drop everything. and do something for yourself.
what do you want to do for youself?
I have principles. I have strong opinions. I have my own definitions of right and wrong. I can think of nothing that'd make me happy. I had some things, but they're either gone or I've thought about whether the things I want really would make me happy or not - and realized that they won't. I don't hate myself. I don't hate others. In fact, I love others, and I know they love me back. I don't live for others. I've tried to make myself happy.
Nothing works and I'm pretty much done. I'm giving therapy a shot, though.
you might find something you want
>not the card game
Glad you cleared that up anon.
>live acoustic music
>talking to people
>meeting new people
>getting grills to buy me beer
>snuggling with my cat
>building meaningful relationships with other human beings
>programming while drunk
>programming while on uppers
>counter strike while drunk
>counter strike while on uppers
>software security while drunk
>software security while on uppers (my favorite way)
>fucking 6/10's then feeling bad about myself aterward
I used to be one depressed fuck, but then I decided to stop taking life so seriously. Time is short so if you're getting invited to go out with friends and watch some live music, get drunk an talk to strangers, IMO that time is better spent than just another night of fapping and playing vidya
I'd like to but I can't bring myself to do it. there is too much uncertainty and it makes me rage inside. sometimes when I'm driving, all I can think about is driving head on into a utility pole
"See how you like it" ... which is exactly what you meant by one not being able to feel anything on a conscious level after death? lol
Wanting to die doesn't equal wanting to commit suicide.
This. Also, I can't bring myself to hurt those around me. Knowing that I WILL intentionally hurt them stays my hand. There's really also a long way from wanting to die to actually killing yourself.
been there done that. identify the stressors in your life and either fix them or get rid of them. This includes shitty people. I was born with one hand so guess there are some things you can't fix. But hey if even I as a handicapped person can enjoy life, I'm sure the same possibility is there for you
>I like to listen to heavy metal
>I like to play video games, preferably casual games
>I like to watch movies and television, preferably adult cartoons
>I like to watch podcasts
>I like to go for walks
>I like to browse /b/
>And I like to pretend that I have friends to talk to
post pics of hands.
also whats your wpm when typing?
>Smoke weed every day
>Play video games
>Read dungeon and dragons books even though I never have played or have any intention to
>Listen to shitty vaporwave unironically
My life. Watching judge judy and suckin on a bong.
mindfullness. Be more aware of your emotional responses. If you have a nagging wife and a kid, sure society tell you your life is great. But when in practice you feel agitated every time she opens her mouth, it means you're unhappy. So be more aware I guess is my advice.
Yes, I do. want to live, but I just exist. I've been like this for so long and it's just gotten worse. So much worse. I don't believe that I can get to "live" anymore, not subjectively. Objectively, I know people have climbed out of these holes and turned their lives around. Maybe in ten years, I'll be happy, but I can't even cope with the thought that I have to get through a day tommorow, so I just don't want to go on. I'm just so tired. I'm so fucking tired and I don't want to go on. I want it all to end.
I'm very much in touch with my emotions. Ireally don't have any "stressors". I can't think of anything that makes me sad, but nothing makes me happy either. Just being neutral would be fine, but for some reason I am unhappy. I'm really god damn sad. It hurts all the time and I don't know why. It just does.
I like cocaine worshiping our Lord Satan with a little bit of hitler mixed in I like contemplating Suicide every moment of my existence I like to shoot guns at random people and my favorite thing to do is go on 4chan (fucking why haven't I died yet I straight got shot 8 times with a 50 Cal desert eagle to the back but I walked it off what the fuck is wrong with me did Satan listen)
Fishing, exessive drinking and kayaking.
I try to watch TV shows when it's late and I'm home, but being drunk all the time results in not remembering a fucking thing so I've basically given up on trying to watch shows. Except GoT, I sat in my house for days binge watching it sober
>I like to in parks and lie down in the grass
>I like to listen to chill music
(albeit lately it's been useless so I don't listen to anything anymore)
>i like to climb mountains
>i like to cook
>i like to draw
>i like to go to beaches and see how far I could swim Outland before I can't anymore
>i like to shower in scorching water just to build up
>i like to shower in ice cold water to see how much body heat I can produce
>i like to drift away in my mind,not that I have any say in ut most of the time but hey,still fun
>i like to feel things,with my fingers or tongue (most surfaces of me tbh,cheeks too)
>i like punching things,and draining out all of my anger out on things
Judge judy is on now. Jerry was on at 10 am
AMA. Born this way so I learnt how to use it properly
We're just not alone, mate. Hang in there. I'm going through therapy. I'm actually trying to turn it around... even though I don't entirely believe and I actually just want it to end. Make sure you explore all possibilities first. Some would say time itself is a possibility, but that one I can't work with. If professional help and everything else doesn't work, then I'm done, but at least try. Try something. It could work.
I like having a smoke, reading a good book, fixing old piece of shit computers from the 80's, drinking beer, thinking about working out (but don't ever work out) and listen to synthwave 'n shit.
idk man. Honestly it's a shitty world we live in. I just try to find beauty where I can find it. I'll stop walking to watch a flock of birds flying over. I see the sun going down and am amazed at the beautiful painting that everyone is ignoring. I'm floating between insanity and happiness, but honestly I don't care. It's my own life and reality, it's mine to enjoy.
>going to random unfamiliar places and deliberately get lost. I'd find my way back without GPS.
>a good nap on a recliner
>getting drunk and sing
>making Halloween costume for my kid
Practically just had a half-year one to restart my life, and now I'm at the lowest point of my life, I promise you.
I don't even believe that. It's a beautiful world out there. It's full of love and great people. I believe it's a good and happy world, but it just isn't for me. I feel that I'm just one of the unlucky ones. There's no fairness to it. I just don't think I'm meant to be happy, seeing as I have all the things I "want", really, but still I am just sad. I am sad and tired and every day is suffering. I just won the shit-lottery. There must be sadness for happiness to exist. I'm just that. Sadness. Without reason or fucking rhyme. I just can't stand it much longer. I don't feel I can.
Trips of truth. I usually can't even watch TV or movies when I'm high. Even movies/shows with really good acting just seem so bad to me when I smoke.
I don't know when that happened, though, because when I was younger I'd get high and watch the dumbest comedy movies I could find and laugh my ass off.
Maybe it's because I don't smoke as much anymore, or maybe it's because the quality of the weed I get has improved, but I really just can't watch anything when I'm baked. Except documentaries about fish and nature. But I usually just sit out in my garage and listen to music and drink some beers, or go fishing/go for a walk.
I don't enjoy it but
>being stressed out over life
yeah well good luck man. I can't even support myself financially and emotionally, so I'm just going to opt out all together. A small farm and a dog is all I aspire for the moment...
See, that's the problem with millennials. It's implanted in people's brain that you gotta have a career first before having a family. Unless you live in a third-world shithole, then, a kid or two is possible. Unless, of course, you're materialistic.
- looking at people
- lots of weed
- your mom
You know that old joke about "how do you know if someone is a vegan/vegetarian? wait 30 seconds and they'll tell you"? same thing applies to assholes from california. for some reason all you faggots think we give a fuck. we don't.
I'm far from materialistic. I live for the experiences, not shiny goods. I'm not having kids because if I would, there would be a 60% chance they'd be raised by a single mom. That would destroy me to see my own blood suffer that way. So I'm opting out.
plenty of my friends are having kids, buying houses, ... Then they come to me and complain about how hard it all is and how if they would have to make the same choice, they'd decline it all. Not something I'm jealous of.
also sorry but the mindset to be self sufficient before having kids isn't some retarded millennial thing. You want your kids to grow up in poverty? If you're having them you have to do everything within your power to increase their chances in life. Providing a stable income is just one part, albeit a crucial one
I want a loving family, good friends, an education that gives me a career in which I can have a sense of purpose. I honestly have these things. All I'm missing is a girlfriend, but I've had many of those, and honestly after a short spurt of happiness I delve down again. Even when I'm in it. When it ends I'm devastated.
My entire life I've just dreamed myself away from everything. Be a rockstar, a superhero, a famous actor... I've never really thought about whether those things would actually make me happy. Besides those things being quite unrealistic, I realize they won't. I'm just trying to get away from my sadness by imagining happiness. I don't feel it. I have felt it at times, but it's so short-lived, even though at times really intense, that it feels like it's only there to remind me what I'm missing out on. The sadness fills so much more in my life. It lasts. It's always there.
My average daily routine would be working out, going to work, hang out with my friends, play vidya, read books, browse the internet and so on. A little bit of everything. I go out on weekends and party with my peeps. I'm quite popular and charming. I get girls easily. I make people laugh. I put on fake smiles. I console, I get consoled, I open up to my closest friends about my problems and they treat me with respect and genuine concern.
Like... I can't really tell you what I'm dissatisfied with. I'm not dissatisfied. I'm just endlessly sad. There's no reason not to be happy... I'm just not.
If you live within your means, then, it's possible. Remember, people have more wants inside their homes than needs. I laugh when I hear people say they're poor here in North America. I grew up in a third-world shithole and I've experienced real poverty.
As a millennial I don't think I want either of those. I mean, a career would be nice, but the chances of me getting a career I actually like is pretty low, and I don't even know what I'd like to do as a career. But kids, no thanks. Two of my best friends (not so much friends anymore) have kids and a house and the kid thing is something I don't really get at all. They are money sinks and there's a pretty big chance they will grow up to be a shit head.
Either way I don't think this bothers me. Over the past few months I've been thinking about what I want to do with my life and everything I come up with seems to be to please/impress others, so I think I just need to stop giving a fuck and start enjoying my life.
I feel you man. We're the generation who grew up with the mess that the babyboomers left us with. I've seen and experienced first hand the mistakes they made. How they fought for free love, then they all ended up divorced and alienated from their children. I'm done with that shit. I see friends make those same mistakes on a daily, and I see their suffering because of it. Having a kid and buying a house together is just a time bomb these days. I'd rather be lonely inside my own small house instead of being lonely inside a house I can't afford (or don't want to afford trough begin a complete wage slave) just because I got oneitis over some bitch who tricked me into supporting her offspring
yeah her offspring. It's hers, not ours. Not when you're a man.
>Smoke weed, play some vidya or have some sex with gf
>Watch movie, preferably high
>Hang with buddies to either smoke weed or have a couple of beers every now and then during the week
Pretty much. My friends can say as much as they like that the decisions they've made they are 100% happy with but I don't think that's true. My ex was pretty keen on having kids/getting married and it just wasn't for me. Had to end it because I did not see the point at all if we could never see eye to eye, and I am happier for it.
My friends all met their gfs in their teens, and one friend actually had the kid during his teens, so there's that. I just can't wrap my head around it. I lost those guys to kids/girlfriends so I never really got to do anything cool with them growing up either.
but yeah - my (distant) goal is to eventually get my own place, going halves with with one of my last remaining friends, or just alone, and work on myself.
well from what I've heard there's good news for us. Sure when you grow older you'll lose friends to family life, but the trick supposedly is to befriend other childfree people. They make for awesome friends as they have plenty of time and money, also loyal as fuck. can't wait
I can't pinpoint it anon, sorry. Maybe you're better off talking to a psychologist or something. granted i once studied to become one, but there's only so much one can do trough text
Yeah, I've got a minor in it. I'm seeing one, actually. I wrote about it further up. The way I see it, at least I'm actively trying in the right way. I'm getting professional help. I really hope it works. I'd like to be happy, but if this doesn't work out, I only see one solution, really. Either that or just stay alive and suffer. I can take suffering, but I don't know how long I'll last.
Thanks, though, anon. Have a good day.
Same man. It'll be sweet. Right now I am keen on changing up jobs though - I work during social time (1600 onward) and I've always found it hard to find decent people to do things with irl. Not to mention I am pretty awkward/anxious around others.
It's weird to think that there are people like us that exist though. To see everyone of your friends either disappear to university or have kids and move out is just crazy. I feel like an outsider/alien for wanting to just take it easy and not really pursue any of those things.
But this is why we visit this website.
Stop blaming baby boomers. Remember, baby boomers didn't have cellphones and Internet. Goods back then we're made for quality. They pay more but they last. People fix things than dispose.
that's when you get when normies gonna norm. Someone once told me "a smart man learns form his mistakes, a wise man learns from other's mistakes". You can't stop them, and can't blame them either. All their lives they've been conditioned to the idea they need to "find their other half", to make their incomplete life complete by dragging others into it. I've always been wary of the subject tho. Made my gf break up with me last year because she wanted kids and I didn't. Still miss her daily but I'm glad with my decision.
I'm trying. I actually like my story, lol. I really feel like I've been through some shit and done a whole lot of stuff that most people never get to in their lifetime. It's weird. I don't get myself, I really don't. It seems so fucked up even talking about all of this. Writing all this and just thinking myself lucky af, so why the hell do I feel this way? We'll see. Hopefully the help I'm getting can turn it around.
Thanks for the gl and the talk.
i dunno. guitar? but not so much anymore...
i dont find that much joy in things now that i think about it
Yeah... I don't feel stupid now for not rushing off to university. I think it's pretty normal to miss another half though. My ex... I dunno, there were good times, there were bad, but I miss being in an intense relationship with someone. The only thing that concerns me slightly is that I won't find someone who doesn't want to have kids/do all that bullshit and just wants to live and experience things together (even a friend would do). but if I can't find someone like that, I'd just rather go without. I don't need that shit.
you should try to understand why instead of just accepting it passively
>i dont find that much joy in things now that i think about it
I didnt ask for this feel
supposedly 25% of grill doesn't want any kids. However they are also known to change their minds mid way. At this point, at least for the moment, I'm not even aspiring romantic relationships anymore. I do my own thing, I'm an asshole to grills and leave them hanging all the time. Just cant be fucked with all that effort and drama. I'd rather spend my time on myself. might sound neet but if you've been in a relationship for 5 yrs you have to enjoy the freedom and the surplus of time, money, energy and potential
Someone told me the same thing a couple of years ago. He said, he doesn't need a kid(s). I asked him if he wants to grow up alone. He said, there's always a nursing home. I said, if most people think the same way as him, no one's gonna work in a nursing home to take care of him.
fuck yeah... 4 yrs for me, been a year since. I get hung up on chicks all the time, even the ones who just make eye contact. Maybe I should just stop giving an actual fuck.
Not even sure why I'm like it - I don't particularly want a relationship either, but I could use a fuck right now. blue balls is an understatement.
most people in nursing homes do have kids tho. Kids who show their appreciation by dumping them in an elderly home and hoping they'll die before all of the inheritance is pissed away. Fuck that shit
Shitty parents or parents especially career moms who'd rather dump their kids in a daycare or nannies so they could work because they're strong and independent. What goes around comes around.
I could have gotten laid so many times since I broke up. But every time I fail to escalate or don't kiss them when I know they clearly want it. It just all seems so futile. I just think what the point and return home alone to snuggle with my cat
I think something snapped when my ex pressured me into having kids. Like, is that all we're good for? To become a tool for them to exploit as a future beta bux/walking atm? What happened to experiencing love just for the fun of it.
can't put all the blame on the kids if there is no deep connection between the parents and the kids. kids just crave connection. you don't give them any, they won't see the point later in life
Get treated like shit when you're a kid, and it fucks with you for life. It's a gift that keeps on giving, long after you received it.
i dress up in cute girl clothes
play some videogames with my bf
shitpost on 4chan
build drift cars
the usual stuff.
drift cars are the best cars
Life without drugs isn't paradise, but it's a helluva lot easier to live once you make the break from dependence. I starting shooting black tar at 16, got clean at 20. I have great respect for the unaltered state of mind now. There was a time that I really took it for granted.
>have a vivid flashback to a time that you were innocent to any inking of what drugs were
>have the worst night of your life
>feel a strong drive to live without drugs again
I like to
>play vidya here and there
>listen to music
>play music (drums/percussion)
>hang out with friends
>hang with gf (jk I'm single and sad that I am)
what the fuck am I doing on /b/ again
>hiking/tracking animals (though I don't hunt)
>binging shows and movies
>pretending I don't have to go back to work
Here faggot. Just to let you know this place isn't a complete sausage fest, though it seems like all of you touts would love to keep it one.
I like to read, play music, listen to music, smoke weed, fap, and watch movies. Laying in the grass is fun too I guess, and camping with friends
>watch star trek
>watch Korean dramas
>think about the better times
Hmm so psychedelics helped you with your addiction? I'm a 19 yr old sub/heroin addict, been clean a little over 30 days. It does feel better to be clear headed, but I'm still struggling. I've been considering an LSD/shroom trip..I've tripped about 10 times before and I think it could help me. Wouldn't consider it a relapse at all considering its not the kind of drug you use to run from problems, pretty much the opposite. I mean shit if you try to escape yourself by using psychedelics you're gonna have a bad time.. anyways I'll end my rambles there
>drugs and liquor
>Tom Clancy style thrillers
>trailer park boys
Pic related: me
>haven't shit in days
>dont know why
>stomache hurts, but fuck it booze
>still haven't shit, it's been a week and a half
>feel something is wrong with me
>shove a snickers bar up ass
>force it out
>mfw i did it to feel normal
If you go into with the expectation that you might realize things that are buried, maybe upsetting things and you want to learn about yourself, I would highly recomend shrooms. I tripped again awhile after I got clean, with the right people and it made me see the world as very beautiful for a bit of time. It's not a long term fix but it can help you learn and lift your spirits. People can even learn a lot from "bad trips" if they are able to face the things that they fear with reflection and logic.
Yeah, see, I like romantic gangster comedies like Marrying the Mafia (as far as movies). When it comes to actual shows, my personal favorite is Potato Star.
I drink a lot. I probably haven't shit for days because I got one of those balls from a play place ball pit stuck in my ass...
>mfw wont go to doctor because play place ball pit ball stuck in ass.
And fill your life with reason to live because addiction is a soft form of suicide. Find a hobby that can be highly addicting for you, spend hours doing it. Cut contact with everyone you did drugs with. I know it's hard because people who haven't used can't relate to what you've seen. Most will never understand and 99% of those who will understand are still sticking needles in their arms. You'll feel alone, but you should be proud of what you've been through. If you can survive heroin, you can survive anything.
That's how I've always veiwed psychs since my first acid trip, a learning expirience. Yeah bad trips can be a good thing because they make you view many aspects of yourself, like a slam of harsh reality. Getting and being clean has been a spiritual journey so far, I've already learned a lot about myself with this clearer head. Maybe a shroom trip will find me further into my recovery, but I don't think I'm going to seek one out. How long have you been clean and how is life treating you since?
>go to work
>drunk and watch TV
>sometimes do this with friends but usually alone
>mfw spending 800/month on booze
I'm about three years clean. I slipped up once but I don't agree with the 12 step bullshit, so I don't count it as a relapase. I had an extremely bad ear infection at the time, my ear was full of blood, so I let myself fuck up. Life has been great. I get depressed sometimes because many of the things I want to do in life seem far off. I fell behind when it comes to career compared to my peers. But it helps having achievable goals. I've been treating myself well, in the beginning I was buying music equipment just to get rid of my money and have a hobby. It's worked out pretty well for me, I have something I can do to keep my mind off of depressing shit. How long have you been clean? And what are your plans now that you are?
Of course it is. Start anywhere but web dev is most looked for by employers and easiest to pick up in my experience. Just do personal projects until you feel comfortable going for an actual paid project.
Been clean a little over 30 days from subs which were kinda my main thing, the 30th will be 4 months clean from heroin. I go to 12 step meetings but I don't follow it religiously. I really just go because it's a room full of addicts trying to find a better way to live, so it's common ground to chat about I guess. I guess my plans are to find a place that I enjoy working at, a new group of friends that I click with, possibly a girl lol cause I haven't had any prissy in like a year haa. But most of all I'm tryingto find a hobby/something to occupy my time, but its hard with no car and no money (fucked that up with drugs).. internet and the little bit of vidya i play isn't cutting it
Congrats, subs and don take much longer to kick than dark. It's rough man, when I first got clean I started hanging out with my little sister and her friends, I didn't know anyone else. But it's a good idea to be around people. You're probably not sleeping well. I hardly slept for a month after getting clean. It passes though. The first night of real good sleep is heaven.
If you have no attatchments, find a contract company and try to get into contact work. You can travel throughout the country and there are sometimes jobs overseas as well. You might find a girl you like along the way. Being from out of town is a really good way to start conversations and get people to hang with you. All of the other contractors would hang with you and you'd get to meet a lot of people.
Not hard, start with simple things and move up the complexity. It doesn't matter which language (you can't know them all anyway) but rather the fundamentals, concepts, patterns, common practices etc. When you get those sorted you'll pick up new languages within weeks if not days.
Thanks man, congrats to you too. living a normal life after opiates is strange and hard to do. Yeah that part has passed since I got through the dope sickness about 2 months ago, slipped up with subs once or twice but not long enough to get me sick again. I was doing subs for 4 years since I was like 15 so my body hasn't fully adjusted. I go to meetings cause I don't really have other people to socialise with, so it's something to get out and do I guess.
Keep on moving forward brotha
I'm no techy but I would have guessed that learning a second language would be more difficult than the first because one might become accustomed to the grammer of the first, per se.
playing video games - diablo 3 gayfagetry
jackoff to trap pron
endless guide scumming for diablo 3
meal prep porn
buy panties online
fad diet books
reading but not actually doing any form of extreme exercise or weight loss
thinspro/comfy on pinterest
anything about cats
Employment agencies for contract workers. I wish I could remember some good ones to recomend you. There are a lot of aerospace companies that hire assemblers at entry level and train them into higher positions if they show up on time and do good work. I've known people who traveled all over the country doing this work, most in their early 20's