That level of failure is absolutely astounding.
Since it's impossible no value judgment is really necessary.
Yeah, I lost track of patches/siegward/greirat at some point. But I completed the Anri quest by accident and made sure to take care of muh sorcerer.
Now I want to reread The Penisman
thanks katia you fucking faggot
>still waiting for Bue Sentinel summons
I killed Yuria because I wasn't all that interested in getting that ending and as a result missed out on the Elite Knight set, was not worth.
I'm really mad about what happened to Anri. I actually didn't expect it. I don't know how I'm stupid enough to think anything involving darkstalker kaathe would turn out well, but after I beat the soul of cinder and before I enter NG+ I am killing the SHIT out of that bitch.
It was a good series
about a man who has a penis for a head
You are not a real man unless you kill half the bosses in the game by yourself with a
+4-7 bandit knife.
FUCK YOU KATIA YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND QUALITY YOU TRIPLE-PEASANT SCUM
If I played dark souls for the PvE experience maybe but I never have. Beating bosses in challenge runs is entirely an execution challenge once you know the moveset and I don't play games for that. Destroying a similarly matched human being is a mental challenge.
Mound-Makers invasions in the swamp are very fun though, be summoned by a poor host just to lead him to the Darkwraith.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around that ending, I don't quite get it yet. Considering the Dark Lord ending of DS1 had you do something completely different.
I don't know what happens in that, or any ending, since I am too busy being a dickwraith (dickfinger?) to finish the fucking game. But if I understand what usurpation of fire entails, what you're basically doing is making yourself hyperpowerful, consuming the first flame like a soul.
Its ruined. I invade 10 people in a row and its host and 3 summons and then some blue faggot pops in as reinforcements.
I dont even bother for a fight when I invade now, I just accompany the party through the level and spew poison at the worst possible time. Or waste their time so they dont advance.
You are a fucking garbage baby shitbird loser.
1. learn to gankspank
2. blues only show up if someone's wearing a way of blue ring so you'll see it less in later game areas (also killing the blue is worth more as a rosaria finger)
3. often you won't be the only invader. I've had 3 on 3s where it's me, another dark spirit, and then like a mad spirit. Sometimes those jackasses kill me, since they can, but generally everyone's aware that going for the host and company is the best outcome for us.
Why not invade as a Warrior of Sunlight instead? Jolly decapitation.
Maybe I'll watch a video of the ending and see what he does, my current character has a different ending in mind.
what kind of roommate do you have where it's a big deal if he sees you naked? on my birthday I got hammered and threw up so much on my clothes that I woke up wearing my roommate's pajamas and no underwear.
That's fucking rich. Anyway because I didn't get the warrior of sunlight covenant (I know where it is, I'm just lazy) and this character isn't faith anyway. Plus being the equivalent of a dickwraith feels right. When I make a faith character I'll try that though.
What if I told you that I didn't even buy the game
I kill other reds so they dont leach my kill.
kinda wonder how bad bernie is gonna lose ny
I saw a few of my friends play DS2 in PvP, they were certainly not enjoying it, I wouldn't enjoy it either
That's exactly how I position myself
Why not invade as a Warrior of Sunlight instead? Jolly decapitation.
That NOT enough for me. I do not feel fulfilled with sharing.
NO NOT YET I DIDNT GO TO SCHOOL TODAY ILL DO IT THURSDAY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
It's not even sharing. If one red kills a host, he gets x amount. If 2 reds kill a host, they both get x amount. You are simply an asshole.
turtling is TERRIBLE in ds3
You git gud.
Shame, rewards for WoS and Watchdogs were pretty good since they're the only ones I've been able to farm the items for.
Reminds me that I need to be summoned into the Catacombs, equip that ring and then destroy the wooden bridge before Wolnir.
What are the locations for all of you bottoms anyways?
I wanted to pursue the watchdog covenant but I didn't get a single invasion for them in the entire time I was sitting in farron fucking bullshit swamp.
you said subs last time, changing one word does not make the question less stupid.
I have a very weak ability to git gud. I get tired of failing pretty quickly.
It upsets me seeing other people succeed, Only I should succeed so I have to kill everything or at least make their time as horrible as possible.
There's 3 enemies outside the Keep Ruins bonfire you can farm the items from. Takes ages, but my reward was a neat curved greatsword and Artorias' Greatshield, my favourite one.
Likely nowhere near you.
Cause I'm in the middle of nowhere.
Serious though, if you've not watched Iron Pineapple before - his videos are amazing.
You are soft, and moreover brittle enough that not even whetstone could sharpen you. I abhor failed men. Kill yourself.
use shield breaker
like 30 million different weapons has it, you get an instant riposte
it's good to know that you're a dick at least.
since I'm using tiny little girl weapons on this character I wouldn't bother. Also I hate leveling covenants from goddamn PvE
This is also why I have no motivation to beat the game because I know tons of people beat it before me.
And now I understand why nibbles is a virgin.
Got this from his twitter a while ago.
Felt as bad as it did trying to farm for Loyce Souls, at least I only had to get 30 this time...
Well, that's a more or less optimal strategy, irritatingly.
God farming in dark souls 2 was HORSESHIT. Also I can't wait for ds3 cheat engine. I have so many builds that need making.
bad timing. I'm leaving for class now.
The game frustrates me because there are few "Funhouse" places to make it 10x worse.
I thought things were apparent.
Unfortunate that they carried things like the horrendous amount of farming and crappy covenants over.
At least they didn't carry any characters over. Oh how I enjoyed finding Gilligan dead.
Scottish bottom :3
Dang, so far from everyone...
How is maple syrup land treating you?
this is a goteposting thread, right?
I've seen one guy in thread from Arkansas before. He stepped out before I could chat at him though.
i wonder how many people bottom simply because they are too lazy to top
nothing is worse than butts
good morning phagot
Have you gotten your boy-cooter poked yet?
I bet if you tried hard enough, you could look like a lady.
Good morning there pumpkin
how are you doing this lovely day
hey do you remember what I said about ferrus mannus/iron hands
this is why /tg/ is the best.
Texas. It's... okay.
There probably are said tops that come in but they pop out before you even notice them.
stop it your lies are tearing this family apart
You mean the spot where the wraiths are fighting the creature people?
It's good that they can laugh at themselves.
I didn't want to BE a family, but your GODDAMN CATHOLICISM forced it! I'm fulfilling my responsibilities now leave me the fuck alone, woman!
Nah, the first bonfire labeled farron keep. Basically anyway there's poison is good.
Well if you ever want to come even more south, don't ask me why, I'm sure you probably would find some needy dick to be sat on.
Texas isn't too far away. I have to go down to Dallas for an interview soon.
You could always make a guy wear gloves or something while he handjobs you.
I wouldn't even have to try very hard, just let my hair grow out and wear girly clothes.
Going alright, looking like it's gonna be fuckall kinds of hot again today so I'm staying in. Went on a long ass walk yesterday though, to the point where there was blood in my socks when I took them off. Now it hurts to stand so I'm gonna just hang out here for a day.
he's being fucking GAY
Well, now you just have to post an image of your ass and mention if you want to be seeded or not.
We will agree to disagree about your name.
Tragically I cannot talk to you about anything interesting since I'm shitposting innaclass and can't listen to music.
Nationalism is infinitely better than humanism.
You have kik, so we don't annoy people in the thread?
the name bothers me because Dawn is the name of one of my sisters.
but wouldn't going for a swim in hot weather be more funner
yikes, well better your feets than your ass to be bleeding. if you cant stand then how will you get food?
Oh the swamp.
I could fap to it.
I'd ask you what you think of dark souls 3 but I've already gleaned your opinion on it from the thread
ur a shitty name
I wish to give you a trophy.
Suddenly, incest fetish.
Of course. Make the most miserable part of the game more miserable.
I also like invading the area after pontiff sulyvahn—I realize it's high traffic, but NOTHING is more satisfying than fucking with kids when they're on the rafters or trying to fight the douchebag crocodoggos.
I can elaborate.
no u shut up
go for it, bearing in mind that I played dark souls 1 for about 3 hours 3 years ago
It's been ages so I don't even remember. You could just post anyways though.
I also think you should just post your butt to everyone because butts.
I'd like that.
I can stand and walk lol it's just a good excuse to be on my ass. And I could go swimming, were it not for the fact that I have no trunks nor do I want people seeing my awkward torso.
The level design is substantially better than dark souls 2, and slightly better than post-anor londo dark souls 1 but worse than pre anor londo. Mechanically it's easily the best game of the 3, I also think it's by far the most challenging from a PvE perspective. The atmosphere is magnificent and it looks very, very good.
My main problems with it are that plotwise it's basically dark souls 1 redux, and the netcode is fucked. Not all covenants are created equal, either; getting invasions for rosaria is easy as hell but then trying to level up in blades of the darkmoon is hell on earth.
Nah, I'm good.
I only have a face picture atm and don't want to charge my phone to take more atm.
I mean post Kik anyways.
did the previous games have the same issue with the covenants?
It would also be a good excuse to make [redacted] get you food and babysit you for a day
>I have no trunks
i like your style barry.
what is the mechanic behind those exactly
what does one do with them
If they don't add in the Blue Eye Orb, the Blades are fucked. Sentinels even have priority over them, to make it worse.
I have not made it that far. I went in and got one shotted so I said fuck it.
Well what can I say, I like long haired boys.
join them, do (usually multiplayer) stuff to level up in them, get rewards.
The fact that there's not a blue eye orb is making me extremely salty. How can I be fantasy judge dredd now?
Alright, probably look at that later today
My first name is pretty good. I am happy with it.
It easily becomes a nickname
I put everything into dex and stamina and whatever the hell stat the increases my equip load.
but the multiplayer stuff has long queues based on the popularity of the covenant?
Honestly, I actually think I'm like the only one here that wouldn't want to be fucked by a slime and penetrated by tentacles.
I don't know what it is, tell me on steam later
That was stupid. Endurance levels super slowly so it's barely worth it, equip load is SUPER not worth it if you're not using big weapons/shields. I wear 3 pieces of fallen knight armor and the sage hat, with a longsword, staff, and grass crest shield, and with the ring of favor I'm still below fatroll at default vitality for sorcerer.
CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW UGLY DRAGON TRANSFORMATION IS?
IT IS VERY UGLY
They're not queues really. It's just there's less opportunity for some covenants to advance because of the context in which they're allowed to invade.
oh wait, you don't get the ring of favor until after sulyvahn. I was using havel's before that.
still before that I only leveled int/attunement/HP and nothing's been one shotting me.
Again, haven't gotten there. Last boss I killed was the dancer. God I need to hurry up I've played like 34 hours.
Why would you be traveling anyways?
oh, that's totally within their power to change
I suppose they wouldn't want to make certain instances of that feel shoehorned though
I like to pretend people won't be able to find me if I don't give up my full name
I dont get hit in pvp unless its like 3 people attacking me at once, I usually fuck people up with the falchion/bandit knife. So it works out.
Dual swords are shit though, I just use a knife/Falchion along with poisons to piss off phantom parties.
this reminds me of a guy who draws some shit.
Yeah, it's a difficult balance between lore logic and multiplayer pragmatism. They got it right with blues in dark souls 2 though and it feels like they've reverted.
dude you live in fucking australia. Not only am I not qualified to find you, I am never going to that hellhole.
Still, leveling END feels really unimportant in this game.
Assuming you mean when:
Two weeks from this Thursday.
It helps when you have 5 faggots chasing you with stale shit like katanas and claymores.
well when you change the story it'd get easier or harder to execute
or was that not story-based
On the internet?
oh yeah I know but still who cares.
So does HP, and that helps in other contexts.
Lore based, not story based. There was no lore reason for the change to blue invaders.
it's kinda weird anyway
No, because if you get hit once the rest of the fag brigade will stunlock you.
I like to imagine the one on the right as katia.
I care. Some people are weirdo stalkers, like Katia. I'm surprised poor Kiss can sleep at night knowing that demented lunatic lives across town
no im this mid
if they have any ability to read rolls they'll get it anyway. Look, you're not winning a 5v1 unless they're terrible to begin with.
yeah but ~I'm~ normal.
Has anyone heard from Kiss in the past few months?
yeah he was in thread yesterday
>Has anyone heard from Kiss in the past few months?
What? He's been posting regularly in the threads for like 3 weeks now
How do I know you're not pretending to be normal?
Ah, maybe he's finally getting more social again, then.
I was literally at work earlier today.
I don't come by here much anymore.
dotter for up to date information
Maybe I'll try adding him on Steam again.
Not that I've been doing anything interesting instead of being here, but y'know.
>ooh, I didn't have that one
did you want the dropbox link?
You are very supple, katia, yum.
I roll AWAY, I have more stamina so they are unable to keep up with, then I poison cloud the party or throw poison knives at the faggots.
The goal is to make the moment as unpleasant as possible.