ITT: Best walmart stories.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: Best walmart stories.
>>693180683
watched some guy go home with a cucumber or zucchini along with lube. Shit you not. Cashier was just as shocked as I was.
Funny part was that he didn't seem drunk or high at all.
I work the sporting goods.
>I need ammo.
Ok. What do you need?
>I dont know.
Ok... What is it that you shoot?
>I just bought it yesterday, I have no idea what it is really.
Then I really can't help you.
>Who is your manager?
I'll page her over.
...
The assistant manager comes over and gets complaint, pulls me to the back and tells me to go on my lunch.
I come back an hour later, and the customer is still there, furious beyond belief. Still wanting ammo.
Not Walmart but still relevant.
>be me
>working @ target
>flow team (come in early and unload truck, pack shelves)
>working late after opening one day
>around noon so normal amount of people
>unboxing captain america action figures
>mfw i'll never be manly enough to be a toy
>go to take something to next aisle over
>see a 30something obese white man with his pants pulled down
>squatting in the ready position
>turns slowly to face me
>mouths "i'm sorry" unaudibly
>his ass explodes
>shit splattering off the floor
>surrounding merchandise is unsellable
>another employee in the aisle i was in before asks if i fell down
>say no
>this guy pulls up his pants and just runs away
>mfw i'll probably be cleaning that
>>693180683
>Walmart stories
>Posts pic of an Asda
>>693181705
>ASDA
>Part of the Walmart family
>>693181705
Isn't Asda owned by Wall-mart or vice versa?
>>693181705
OP here. dunno what an asda is, but I'll take that. pic still relevant.
I work in produce
>DO YOU HAVE ANY SHALLOTS?
>Those are like onions, right?
>NO. SHALLOTS.
>Okay, I am new so I will go ask Other Girl.
>*Grunts loudly*
>Okay, shallots are right over here. Is this what you are looking for?
>I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF SHALLOTS. THANK YOU
>>693180882
Pretty common dare/prank actually
>>693182308
pretty fuckin stupid either way though.
>>693181860
faggot, see this:
>>693181851
>>693181415
The fuck are you gonna get a gun you don't even know the name of let alone what cartridge it takes. Retail pisses me off
>>693182527
Just taking note of how easy it is for fucking stupid people to legally purchase something that's sole purpose is to kill...
>>693181590
I actually have a similar story.
>Be me
>Work in electronics department in Walmart
>Still fairly new at the time
>9pm hits
>Other coworker goes on break (leaving me by myself)
>I got this.jpeg
5 minutes later
>See a customer in the distance
>Walk over to him
>Notice there's shit all over the floor around him
>Pants are down and he's trying to speed walk to our bathroom
Not touching that
>Call maintenance
Turns out he had something medically wrong with his stomach or ass I don't remember. He just can't control when he shits
>>693182878
>posts picture of someone in petsmart
>>693182527
Working that department, 99.9% of the time, people know what they want. They just need help finding it or need it out of the case.
Unfortunately, there is always uncertainty.
>>693182983
*to destroy
>>693180683
> be me
> be in asda (britfag wallmart)
> just browsing
> old couple walk past
> they stare at me
> whatthefuck.png
> man turns to his wife
> "we forgot to buy faggots"
> tfw
>>693182878
Inverted ass?
>>693183087
lol and he takes it down. good call /b/ro. good call.
>>693183502
Maybe they knew you went on /b/
>>693181415
>walmart employee
>hour long lunch break
Calling bullshit.
>>693181590
priceless
>>693184034
If you are scheduled for a 7+ hour day, you get an hour break and two 15 breaks.
>>693184034
The Walmart near me gives the employees hour long lunches.
So in summary, you're retarded.
>shopping at walmart
>see guy he is really 10/10
>ask if he knows where I can find italian food
>he is italian 10/10
>explains how he is on a strict diet
>broccoli and chicken strict
>end up touching eachothers hand as we
reach for the same item.
>his wife turns up, new jersey skank
2/10 wife
>his 2/10 orange oompaloompa skank of a wife
ask who I am.
>it turns violent
>she throws a jar of pickes on the ground and starts talking with her hand up my face.
>she walks away and trips on the pickle juices
>well on the ground I start walking away
with my new 10/10 italian man.
>my new 10/10 have not spoken to her ever since
>>693184444
CHECKED
>>693184034
I work at a Walmart grocery only store. I'm scheduled for 9 hours, one hour of which is lunch, so you are the bullshit!
I hate my life.
>>693184034
My schedule from a few months back. Huh, hour breaks. Except for that one day where I didn't work long enough to get it.
>>693184444
Damn you guys are inefficient, here we have half an hour total, if you work less than 5.5 hours you're not even entitled to a lunch break. We do have much higher salaries though, so we have to use the work hours more efficiently.
Norwayfag here btw.
not walmart but fuck you
>work in shitty outlet store
>we sell the stock that's unsellable elsewhere
>get random crap delivered each day
>random crap just gets shoved on any shelf
>customer comes up to me
>"can you find me this shoe in a 5?"
>explain that we don't have an inventory, everything we sell is out on the floor
>"but could you just check in the back for me?"
>explain that i know we don't have that shoe in a 5
>"i'm gonna have to speak to your manager"
>cunt files a complaint against me for not being helpful
>>693184034
Walmart employees have such low salaries that it barely matters if they work or not.
>>693184970
Don't you guys have under 40-hour work weeks there?
>>693185071
I make $13 an hour and work full time. I'm not going to get rich but it's livable.
>>693184444
Quads speak truth
>>693184444
Quads confirm that
>>693184520
Are you a fag or femanon?
>>693185071
Not sure about the all of Walmart, but here in MN, starting wage is now $11/hr. Regardless of the position.
When I started, the position was offering $8/hr, the instead game me $10/hr. After the recent blanket pay raise, Im now doing $13/hr at 36 hours a week, part time.
>>693185071
Yep.
>>693185103
Yup, standard work week is 37.5 hours, we work shorter and more work intensive days to compensate for the high salaries.
>>693185446
It's a fagfemliaranon
>>693185446
Sounds like both. Pic unrelated. just for you to enjoy as it is the most relevant part of the female body.
>>693184520
u gay bro
>drive to walmart be with my friends
>go to the electronic part
>see like two 6 year olds playing on some game
>i walk to them and say isn't it past your bedtime?
>they just turn and look at me i walk away
>my friends are laughing
>as i was walking away i hear their mom yelling like i told you not to talk to strangers
>i bought like some food and something from electronics
>see 2/10 shitstained crooked teeth fat rascal moving fatass.
>follow him around throwing vegtables into his fatass cart.
>UHRrhrhrhRHHRHR he sounds as triples chin shakes.
>We decide to block the path of where he is moving with his fatomobile.
>HRuHUuuuuuRHURHURUHR he sounds.
>He charges and we move away just in the nick of time.
>fatrider slides and changes direction as he misses us.
>Charges yet again at us as we taunt him
>"What category is this again?"
>"any% weightloss run!"
>Fattits is out of breath for charging at us a third time
>Uh, uh, uhhh. he sounds as he opens a mountain dew and sips down half of a galon of it.
>>693185724
Thank you, I appreciate it.
Lady comes in. Lays blanket down in the housewares Isle. Proceeds to shit on said blanket. Leaves purse and runs. Calls an hour later about her purse. Comes back in, leaves with the police.
>>693185613
>we work shorter and more work intensive days
So you work less, get paid more, but think you're somehow working harder than people in the U.S.? I thought you guys were supposed to be better educated than that. Like what, do you stack shelves more intensely? Run between aisle? I get scheduled for 9 hour work days, that's why I get an hour lunch, I'm still working more hours than you do and probably get paid less. I'd say we're the ones with more "intensive" days. Not to mention we have to deal with minorities and fatties.
>>693181415
Should have just sold him a bottle of BBs
>>693184977
Never tell customers the truth, customers are stupid. Go in the back and fuck around for a little while then go back out and tell them "sorry, we're all sold out and we're not getting it back in stock".
I've worked in retail for several years, one thing I've learned is that customers are usually quite daft. I lie to customers all the time to not waste more time than necessary on bullshit questions and requests. I'm described as "Very helpful and friendly" by most customers. :P
>>693185798
That's a shit story.
>>693185980
who is /b? never heard of this /b.
>>693182983
Those same people can buy knives and cars, too.
Terrifying world. There should be psychological tests before anyone is allowed to own anything that can be used to harm.
>>693186017
Here you'll get fired if you're not efficient. I've worked 9-10 hour days with half an hour lunch break, sometimes I barely have time for lunch at all.
>>693186154
>Thinks sole purpose of a car is to kill
>>693182983
Just taking note of what a smug little shit you are
>>693181415
Just sell them the casuall 9,22,12ga and tell them to return whatever doesn't fit
>>693186403
>>693186358
>Cannot be infringed
>>693186358
>more deaths from vehicle related accidents than firearm related accidents
>>693186358
Yet they kill more people.
Making them even more dangerous in theory, since their primary function isn't to kill and they still do, a lot more.
Excellent! Another gun debate.
>>693186902
You could say that in any one attack, a box cutter has been proven to be more lethal than any firearm.
They hand that shit out like candy at good ol' Wally World!
>>693186838
>accidents = hate crime
Shiggy
>>693186345
You make more, have universal healthcare, have all sorts of social safety nets to help you get educated, to attain housing, retirement, ect...yet you're assuming you're working so much harder?
Fuck off you arrogant cunt. You work less hours and get paid more, stop being a bitch about it. When we work 9-10 hour days that's on top of 40 hours.
>>693186358
Thinks sole purpose of knife is to kill
>>693186154
Don't you pick on knives motherfuckers
I have a collect worth more than the value of the average b tard's car.
FUCK I JUST WANTED TO HEAR ABOUT FUCKING WAL MART
>>693186100
I used to work at big lots. Did this all the time. Said the same thing if the item was too heavy and didn't have anyone to help. Told them to back back when we get our next shipment
>>693184977
>not going to the back and "looking " for 15 minutes
Wew, lad. Git gud
>>693187311
Yes, and I'm sure your CS:GO buddies think they look cool.
>>693187412
It fucking sucks and I hate myself for working there. Happy?
>>693187412
btards will argue on anything
prove me wrong
>>693187209
If you want to break it down, the graph compare death rates between the two. Of the firearm related, 21,000 or so are suicide. They would likely find other means to off themselves.
So in all actuality, we are looking at 12,000 legitimate firearm related deaths versus the 36,000 vehicular deaths.
>>693187311
Who said I think that the soul purpose of a knife is to kill?
>>693180683
Uhhh that's mud dumbass. He was probably sitting on the ground.
>>693187539
If i prove you wrong im actually argueing which proves you right.
>see land whale park in handicapped spot
>she proceeds to walk towards the entrance
>gets inside and gets on her fatmoville
>i tell her being fat is not a handicap and that she should walk instead and park furthest away from entrance.
>she rages
>i walk ways
>she tries to follow me on scooter
>gotawaysafely.jpg
>>693187539
I bet i can prove you wrong you worthless sack of shit!
>>693187480
>implying I play such a low quality game
>>693187721
probably picture of you /b/ro. It's okay. shit happens.
pt 1/3
>gets a call from my wife and she asks me to please buy some milk for breakfast
>sure.jpg
>What she doesnt know is that I'm the bay harbor butcher.
>"She cannot know who I am I think to myself". >It would destroy not only her, but the kids too.
>As I am about to pay for the Milk the clerk greets me.
>"Hi Dexter Morgan."
>This is not true, has he found out my true identiy?
>next to the register there is a sales sing
>"50% Kinder Suprises
>My palms start to get sweaty as I reach for the Kinder Surpries as I am only suppose to buy Milk.
>>693184034
Only food chains get shit lunches
>>693187713
so are you also going to ignore the people in vehicular deaths that just killed themselves and no others?
>thinking this vague chart helps your argument
>>693187300
In summary: the US sucks dick
>>693188311
Fair point, How many of those are vehicular suicides? Not nearly anywhere as the 21,000 firearm suicides.
>>693180683
>Target
>pregnant woman approaches me
>Can you tell me where the hand soap is?
Yeah sure it's right down that aisle *points towards aisle*
>Its not there, we've already looked
Okay I'll take you over to their and point it out
>I told you its not here
I go down to the hand soap section and point out all of the hand soaps
>its not here
At this point I'm getting irritated so I ask her if there is a particular brand she is looking for
>"I'm looking for the foaming kind"
I point out the foaming hand soap that is in the same god damn section with the regular soaps
>THATS NOT WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR shouting slowly like I am retarded or hard of hearing
LADY WHAT DO YOU WANT
>I'M LOOKING FOR THE REFILLS
I point out the giant refill bottles that are in the same fucking section at waist level
>...
>>693184371
Fuck i got 8 hrs shift for an extra hour of break.
>>693184977
I used to deal with this all the fucking time when I worked in an office supply store. We literally had no stock in the back whatsoever. (Only high end items like computers that had to be locked up.)
After a while, whenever someone repeatedly asked to check the back, I'd go into the break room, have a candy bar and chill for a few minutes. Then go back out and tell the customer we were out.
If I used the time to take a shit, I'd come out and tell the customer I called the nearby stores and they were out, too.
>>693181415
Repeat after me.
>The customer is always right.
>>693188480
>not asking yourself "how many people drive everyday compared to how many people own a gun?"
This is all irrelevant anyway because there is a difference between an accident and a hate crime. would you rather be a victim of a crime or an accident?
>>693188362
Pretty much. People in Norway actually get paid by the government to go on vacations. American's are lucky to be able to take 1-2 weeks off a year from work and a lot of the time you don't get paid time off.
>>693183077
>>693181590
Don't stores prosecute for public defecation? This isn't fucking India.
>>693183502
Kek
>>693184520
>and then you woke up
>>693188761
Customers are pretty much never right. The worst is when they keep repeating something wrong trying to make you agree with them. I just shrug, say "ok", and walk off at this point.
>>693184909
Fuck! I work 10 hour days and only get a half hour lunch and 2 10 minute breaks. Fuckin' Walmart and their decent scheduling. I'm showing that picture to my union rep.
retail/fast food in a nutshell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7S1Pm_2N2k
>>693186690
I actually did that once, by accident too.
The customer wanted 7mm. I accidentally grabbed a box of .17 Varmint. Neither of us caught it as I was checking him out. He came back not even 5 minutes later.
We eventually got the refund and got him the correct ammo. No idea how it happened, but it just did
>Well not a Walmart story but worth posting
>Work in a small computer repair store
>man comes in and says his computer is busted
>wants us to repair it BUT DON'T LOOK AT THE FILES
>Windows98, filled with gay shit porn
>Huge folder with photos
>him rubbing shit all over himself
>how do you look at him when he comes and get it without having the "I KNOW WHAT YOU DO"
>Can't, burst in laughter in front of him with fellow employees
>He realises everyone in the store knows.
>Leaves without PC
>>693187497
no you self centered asshole i wanted a funny story.
>>693189618
Kek
>>693185838
kek please continue this story
>>693187713
But at least when there is an accident, it's usually 1-4 killed, with shootings it can be as many as 50 killed....
>>693180683
>Be me in 2009
>Talking to chick online for awhile
>Got her number and agreed to meet
>Travel 20 miles to her city
>Phone rapidly dying for some reason
>Forgot charger
>Trying to figure out where to go
>Phone dies
>Fuckme.exe
>Stop in walmart to buy new charger
>Cheapest at the time was over $20 after taxes
>Lightbulb idea comes to me
>I'll just open the package in the electronic section and plug it in for a minute
>I do so
>Standing near to keep eye on phone and pretend to be browsing items
>Phone has a bit of charge now
>Unplug phone and go to put charger back in package
>Slip phone in pocket
>Guy in non-descript clothing taps me on shoulder and says he's secret shopperfag
>Notice 2 cops behind him
>They called 5-0 because they thought I was stealing merchandise
>Nope.gif
>Tell em I wanted to see if the charger tip would fit my phone
>They aren't buying it
>Take me to the back and turn out my pockets
>Charger tip got stuck in my charge port
>Got vanned over a .20 worth of plastic
>Spend weekend in the pokey instead of poking some pussy
>feelsbadman
>>693189618
Kinda reminds me when I worked for AT&T for a bit.
Guy comes in not knowing how to close tabs on his smart phone...
There were 20+ tabs of porn. I showed him how to close all of it.
>>693188121
>>693188121
pt 2/3
"Do it!, Take them!. There is a surprise insiiiide" The clerk tries to lure me with his sweet voice.
>I grab one Kinder Suprise
"Take another one! you know you want to" the clerk quickly says
>I end up taking the whole box of Kinder Suprises which end up costing me about 100 bucks.
>Open one up.
>"Surprise motherfucker!
>It's my arch enemy. James Captain Doakes
>has he found out my secret? The true identity of Dexter Morgan?
>"You're one creepy motherfucker you know that, jesus fucking christ? You are the bay harbror butcher. I don't fit the code you can't kill me. Lets go to the stations hand in hand so we get put a stop to this"
>My secret is out. Is this the end of my story?
>>693183087
if anyone that's interested
>>693185798
and like you were like like 12 like?
>>693189823
Did you just go full retard?
Want to know how many people at most have died from any misfire of a firearm? ONE!
Such as the father accidentally pulling the trigger on his son in FL, or the other teen that off himself at another range. Find me one where more than one person was injured.
In vehicular accidents, the most I've seen in in my short life thus far is 12. From a 4 car pile up.
>>693180683
>ctrl + f
>no chris-chan story
the fuck's wrong with you niggers?
>>693185724
that photo is the chick from
"Do dogs have brains?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08RFTI9QR20
link related
>>693186154
Well if we are about making up foolish arbitrary rules.
Lets require the same before any are allowed to be parents..
Mandatory Vasectomies and Tubal ligation at the age of 12 and you have to be able to afford to have it reversed before you can even apply to have a child.
>>693182983
>>693188491
she probably went home and told her friends about the idiot target worker who took 4 tries to find her soap
>>693189919
it's not as bad as the guy in Houston who dropped off his phone in office depot to get fixed. then they found cp in his phone.
>>693188491
You ain't going to get employee of the Month with that attitude...
>>693182445
It shocked you so I guess it worked you dumb faggot
>>693181415
Wow, I just left /k/ and it followed me here.
>>693190337
Shut up you little puke. Go be a twat somewhere else.
>>693181590
Way to be original anon. Fuck you
>>693189942
3/???
>"I know you don't fit the code, my good old arch enemy" I respond to my friend Doakes.
>"good lets go down to the station, right now mother fucker."
>Fine.jpg
>Extra extra news bulletin. "The Bay Harbor Butcher is Dexter Morgan"
>fuckmylife.gif
>"Fuck it dexter, you are the Butcher? I can't believe it. Debra says
>"yeah.. its true. Dad tought me everthing."
>"Dad? holy fucking christ., but its pretty hot lol, my brother a killer?"
>EXtra Extra New bulletin - The captured Bay harbror butcher have escaped prison
>Finally. Cant stand that place,
>"lets take the boat out for a drive "lalalaala"
>>693183077
fukken wear a diaper then
>>693190570
YES IT IS! I shopped it out after watching that video. It seemed to be the only important part.
>>693189110
Not worth their time man
>>693191209
should I continue? or we let the story be
>>693190987
Says the one who believes firearm accidents leads to 50+ deaths...
Let me guess, some one accidentally cut themselves while making their lunch led to 10+ people being stabbed it Sacramento a week or so ago?
>>693191332
and her face and anythign she says makes me wanna shoot myself
>>693190756
what did they do about it?
>>693191417
Autism.
>>693191417
Pls continue Dexter is great
>>693191584
Gayfag here. I literally got angry when I saw this video the first time. Then played the audio with just the tits showing. Finally understood why it had so many views.
>>693189893
nice
>>693184970
Same here but i'm in the u.s.
Don't work at wal-mart though
>>693191725
they called police... police went to house and found explosives.
http://www.click2houston.com/news/man-accused-of-possessing-child-porn-explosives-appears-in-court
>>693185798
That was a really really shitty story man
>>693183502
Underrated
>>693191954
Yeah, she stopped talking to me when I explained what happened lol
>worked at sams club
>associates always ask me to drop stuff with forklift or help with something
>used to he HAPPY TO HELP but
>whenever I ask for help they are always "busy" or they "cant"
>after awhile of this
>fuck you guys
>always make up excuse that I can't help or drop anything for anyone
>when they say they needed a Forklift driver to the back on the PA and I was one of the few there
>go on a 15 outside or take my break
fuck everyone
>>693183182
No, kill. Unless he bought a HUNTING WEAPON (possible) or SPORT SHOOTING PISTOL (the ones that look like 3d printed ) the gun was designed to put holes in HUMANS until they die.
>>693192340
At which point... You are still destroying your target. Human or otherwise.
>>693182236
Someone sent them to the store for shallots without explaining what they were.
>>693192542
Just the best story I have.
>>693189241
>walmart
>union rep
I just don't know who to believe.
>>693183502
Rekt
>>693190687
Sad think is that that is what she definitely did and she definitely thought she won the altercation
>>693189222
this
>be me
>16
>First job
>CAP 2 (Unload trucks, Stock Shelves)
>Stocking shelves
>kill me
>Walk past 20-25 year old couple
>notice her hand moving
>This nigga gettin jacked in wallymart
>Look at lady
>Looks back at me
>9/10
>Dude looks at me
>Hand doesnt stop
>"You guys cant...b..e...."
>Guy Moves weirdly
>hand stops
>Look at hand
>This nigga came while looking at me
>Mfw lady licks her hand clean
>I call for a manager
>Manager calls cops
>They get thrown out
>Walk through same aisle an hour later
>White circle on ground where dude got jerked
>mfw
>>693180683
I was covering a shift for a coworker. I happened to be around the automotive section. In the next aisle, I hear a box being opened. So I go check it out and it's two, middle aged dudes jacking a vibrator.
One of them takes off, the other one gives up after being followed for a few aisles. He attempts to buy it instead. His card was declined.
He offered to put it back. I ain't falling for that.
>>693181590
wtf is wrong with america ffs
Not going to greentext because fuck you all, I'm on my phone and it's a pain. Shopping at a Walmart once, land whale in a fat scooter is trying to lean over and get something off a shelf, start going over to help. I used to be fat, not scooter needing fat, but really fat, so I have some sympathy for them. I'm about halfway there, and he tips his scooter over. Perhaps you've seen the pic on 4chan of something like that...totally reminded me of that incident. I move faster to help, instead of stepping on the side of his scooter to push it down I grab under his arm to help pull. He screams that it hurts, and my hands are soaked from his sweat. I gag.
But wait, it gets better...I immediatly half let go half slip from the sweat. He crashes back into the shelf and falls off his scooter and I kid you not shits himself...I almost vomit.
By now a small group of employees and shoppers have gathered because of his screaming. I retreat unable to bear the stench, go wash my hands, put the cookies back that I was going to buy, and go to leave. Land whale is back in the scooter and sees me leaving, instead of thanking me he yells "there's the guy who hurt me". Fuck I give are less than zero so I keep leaving.
Few days later I go back, upon checking out the cashier recognizes me and says the guy actually called the cops on me. They apparently showed up and the employees said I tried to help, even watched the tape.
Fucking walmart and scooter bound fat people. My sympathy is gone for them...
>be me
>don't go to walmart that often
>go to walmart one day
>two minutes after entering the store pass by
>fucker gives me the creepiest grin
>never go back to walmart
>>693192518
Are there really people stupid enough to be fooled by this argument? The man didn't buy an anti-materiel tankbuster or some shit, he bought a gun.
>>693185798
.drive to walmart be with my friends
That was your entire story right there
>>693193442
Then you're just a pussy
basically any interaction with muslims.
they look at the label and ask the fucking price. They think they are in an outside paki market and ask for it cheaper then get irrate when you and try and explain.
I just pretend to go and get someone else and chill out in the warehouse for 10 minutes until they fuck off or ask someone else because they have 0 patience and they are ignorant as fuck
>>693187822
>Implying that someone who collects overpriced cutlery wouldn't play a game where the objective is collecting useless overpriced cutlery
>>693180683
I farted under one of the air censor things and the fire alarm went off and everyone had to leave, I didn't get my fucking one strap backpack. REEEEEEEEEEE
>>693186358
>Thats how i drive a car
>>693186100
>dubs checkdd
this is the truth, i lie to customers evry day
>>693193592
Ever taken a firearm safety class?
They tell you to only point and shoot at what you intend on to destroy.
>>693180683
"i once saw a man who had shit himself shopping"
great story OP
>>693194004
The objective of the game is shooting people. It's not fucking knife collection simulator
>>693194386
edgy man real edgy
Any time they try to stop you on your way out to inspect your shit (which is your shit, so they can't go through it without cause) just keep walking. Always worth a chuckle because they can't touch you.
>>693180683
This happened just the other night at around 10pm
>Walking down an aisle
>See a perfectly round obese woman with what I assume were her daughter and around 3 year old granddaughter
>Just keep walking toward them no big deal
>as I pass by the daughter tells her mom to keep an eye on the 3 year old
>Grandma says "Don't worry, I'll watch her tiny ass"
>Then directed toward the 3 year old says "Come here little midget!"
>I could barely keep it together
>>693186838
>>693186902
I'm sorry to break this to you mateys, but people use cars more than they use guns.
Do you retard shits even Statistics? Do you seriously believe the bullshit the Right spews out? They're all in the pocket of Smith & Wesson, Lockhead, and all the other weapons manufacturers.
Thats how your country works, politicians are bought and sold like goods and services.
And you faggots still think that voting Bernie or Clinton will change a fucking thing
>mfw
>>693187300
I work 9-10 hour days without a lunch break. My pay reflects my hard work and dedication.
>>693193987
I used to work at a Super K-mart and dealing with any brown was a nightmare. Explaining that stores don't haggle was impossible and always ended with them yelling even more than normal. I used to tell them to go to the flea market down the street but I got in trouble for "suggesting an alternative" to K-mart.
>>693193044
best fap in a while, thanks bud
>>693194540
They are actually going to be changing that pretty soon.
They it will be, is that they will be stopping you for general merch. Anyone who doesn't stop will be suspected of theft and treated as such.
Walking out with that new TV? Prepare to be stopped.
Walking out with a cart of groceries? You're good.
I don't know when it will be implemented.
>>693194386
Where I went to college, there was a rumor that the city we lived in (in the middle of nowhere) was one of the major producers of fat chick porn and that the ring of fat chick porn makers hung out at the Walmart cafeteria.
This one journalism student wrote the most fucking hilarious piece about trying to investigate it but being afraid to ask any of the fatasses he saw there if they were making porn.
>>693185980
Fuck off Morgan go to bed
>>693187713
>They would likely find other means to off themselves.
Then why does the US have such a higher suicide rate per capita than average?
>>693185980
How's self checkout?
>>693185071
All Walmarts in the USA start at $10 an hour. Some are higher in states that require it higher. That's starting.
That's a lot better than every other entry level position.
>>693194694
I agree
How can I convince my wife to have sex with me?
>be walmart manager
>be in break room having a coffee
>it starts to get near night time before we close
>starts jerking it, moaning loudly
>no one there but me all of the other employees almost gone
>walks out of break room and cums on the pantie section
>cum splattered all over it, gallons
>feelsgoodman.png
>hear footsteps
>quickly zip up pants and head back
>hear female employee who was still stocking a few things before she went home, apparently usually isnt protocal
>hears screaming
>wut.jpg
>walks out and sees her angry and yelling at the cum slowly dripping off the panties
>sees her and stands there silently
>she looks at me in disgust
>asks her why not lick the cum off
>blushing.avi
>we both start to fuck like harambe and mufasa in the middle of the store
>canthandlepussi.mp4
>both seen on security cam next day and fired
>>693195234
while she sleeps put it in the hole
>>693180683
I honestly don't think that's shit. Probably working on a car or something and sat in dirt/grass
>Working in produce
>See 13-14 year old girl tall, and very developed, bouncing around in a tight t-shirt and short shorts
>stops periodically to check out various items
>Following 25ish feet behind her is a middle aged man with a ballcap and full duck dynasty beard giving her a death stare
>clearly not related to her
>When she stops he stops
>do a double take
>realize his wide-eyed death stare is more of a rape stare
>girl is completely oblivious and continues on her way
>man still following her
If this was a back alley or country road I am willing to bet he would've raped and then murdered the shit out of her. I should've said something but it happened to quick for me to process it entirely
Not Walmart but still baffles me to this day.
>be me delivery driver
>take delivery to sketchy ass neighborhood
>walk up to door, I can hear little kids screaming and yelling
>*knock on door*
>6 foot tall Harriet Tubman opens the door
>*smacks lips* "the fuck do you want?"
>"umm it's the food you ordered ma'am"
>"oh right gimme a second" *walks over with purse*
>she asks how much the total is
>I tell her her total is 16$
>gives me a 20
>she says "umm give me 6 dollars back"
>I kindley reply with "I'm sorry ma'am I cannot give you 6 dollars back"
>*smacks lips* why the hell not?
>try to explain to her the simple math that I can only give her 4 dollars back
>she implies that I give her 6 back because of the delivery time
>I'm already mad at this point and tell her that she can either take her 4 dollars or I will leave
>she takes the 4$ and I leave
>I get back to the store, manager says a lady called and said I stole from her
>explain the situation to manager, keks were had
I still can't wrap my mind around how a lady with a house 2 children a Chrysler 300 could not perform basic math
>>693188989
True. I'm on my one week of vacation right now. Then it's back to six days a week until college starts back up, at which point I'll be living paycheck to paycheck at 4 days a week, paying $2500 annually to attend a decent university regardless of my tuition-free scholarship. This shit sucks
>>693185194
What part of the south?
>cashier
>scan pound of cherries shows as 8.99
>wait how much...
>its 8.99
>I don't think that is a pound you should weight it
>sir it is already pre weighted
>I do think so...
>at this point he is holding up the line
>fine put it on scale and it shows 1.15 lbs
> that isn't calibrated right you should try another one
>call over csm and explain situation
> guy still complains and demands manager
>csm call over co manager
>co politely tells the guy to fuck off and he can either get charged for the actually weight or pay 8.99
>>693186100
Yep, I don't work at a supermarket, but work in an electronics repair shop. The types of idiots we get there are the same. I tell more lies in an 8 hour shift there than I do in a year outside of the job. People love me there, and many of them ask for me when they come back, because I lie so well to them.
>>693180882
lot of frats do shit like that for pledges. My friends frat made people get different things. One guys was the biggest blackest dildo he could find, one guys was a ton of lube and extra small condoms. Luckily for him, my buddy's was just a dozen porn mags of different varieties including gay and bi.
>>693195051
So is it the firearm that makes people depressed? Nope.
Is it the firearm that tells these people that they should paint the walls with their brains?
Nope.
You honestly think that firearms are causing all these issues here in America... I got some bad news for you. There is more to everything than the lie that you are told "Guns, scary, bad".
>>693195615
Niggers.
>>>/pol/ they will explain everything.
>>693195615
>I still can't wrap my mind around how a lady with a house 2 children a Chrysler 300 could not perform basic math
husband bought everything
>>693195615
Simple. Niggers gonna nig
>>693185798
>>693185838
just stop, this is fucking terrible.
>>693195051
Why do Japan and South Korea, with some of the highest suicide rates in the world, several times higher than the US?
It must be guns.
>>693193442
>Be me
>Work at Walmart
>Spot the biggest piece of concatenated autism and mental disorder
>autism is so bad it affects his central nerve system
>Can't even walk normally
>Laugh at him
>See him rethinking life and leave the store
>satisfaction.mp4
>>693195309
>And then you woke up
No, I totally believe you anon
>>693185451
The "back" at my store really did sort of look like the right image.
>>693195816
>You honestly think that firearms are causing all these issues here in America
They are
But the Hundreds of millions of dirty dollars going to your politicians and your Media and your 'experts' make it oh so much easier to brainwash people like you into believe it isn't.
All the while the US has more people die of guns and gun crime in its own borders this year alone than your armed forces has had casualties in the past 20 years.
Do you not see how fucked up that is, seeing you've been in a constant state of war/conflict & peacekeeping, including several major offensives against organised military's?
How can you be so utterly ignorant? How can millions of you be? Your culture is poison and its killing people.
>>693196194
How many of theirs was by guns? How many more do you think it would be if guns were readily available in those country's?
>>693196237
Cool fucking story faggot. When did you realize it was your reflection?
>>693190171
There was nothing interesting about it the first time. I don't even see why it was worth the trouble of deleting
>>693183077
Dumping syndrome?
>>693195309
>manager
>in break room
I call BS...
>>693188965
>would you rather be a victim of a crime or an accident?
Would you rather be murdered or die in a car accident from a drunk driver?
What does it matter? You're fucking dead, and many times more likely to die in a car accident than being killed or any other kind of accident.
>>693185479
Minneapolis represent.
>>693191417
It's dumb
>>693192796
Re-read that and see if you can spot your error.
>>693196397
>>But the Hundreds of millions of dirty dollars going to your politicians and your Media and your 'experts' make it oh so much easier to brainwash people like you into believe it isn't.
I don't think you know how much the NRA spends.
>>693180683
i can't think of any right now.
when i was a kid my mom used to ram people with her basket when she thought they were being rude, giving her a hateful look, or cutting in front of us while we were walking.
>>693193044
Why would you call the cops? Jealous someone else was getting some?
>>693196883
>>
>when i was a kid my mom used to ram people with her basket when she thought they were being rude
When I see retard parents with kids sitting INSIDE the carts, I want to take a cart and ram into it high speed and give them whiplash/slam their heads on the side of the basket to teach those retards a lesson.
>>693192542
You shouldn't need to explain shallots.
>>693193343
Being a good Samaritan pretty much never pays off these days. So sad but so true.
>>693185980
Walmart Morgan are you hot?
>>693195686
Fucking cherries man. They put them on sale for 3$ off but its still 9$ a lb, then people get 2 lbs of cherries because the cherry stones weigh a lot more then the average fruit but the fucking apes, all they see is "ooo, 3$ off, dats a lot" then get all pissed at me when it rings up for 18$.
Assholes.
>>693194266
*kill
>>693196397
>All the while the US has more people die of guns and gun crime in its own borders this year alone than your armed forces has had casualties in the past 20 years.
That number includes suicides. Someone killing himself is not my concern. I don't care if someone kills himself.
I'm not going to advocate child-proofing the world because some depressed losers killed themselves, or outlaw the method they used.
I'm not killing myself, and if I were going to, outlawing a gun isn't going to stop me. Even if it does stop some people, I don't care. I don't want the world catered to depressed suicidals and be limited because these wastes of skin decide living isn't worth it.
Gun crime in the USA has been dropping for the past 20 years, and it continues to drop.
No one cares about your retard solutions to gun crime because it's being taken care of slowly.
>>693180683
I found an odd item,
http://streamboobs.com/really-ample-penis-enhancer-flesh-p43861.html
>>693195615
>delivering for papa Johns
More expensive delivery, so tips usually decent, few nigs and other minorities
>not this time
>delivering pizza to said "Dunn street"
>cannot find the address he gave me, call him
>"Hey this is anon, can't find your house"
>"it's blah blah blah dunn street"
>ME, "THERE IS NO BLAH BLAH BLAH"
>call him two more times still can't find place
>Fuckit.jpg
>go back to store
>manager: "hey, dude is pissed, call him"
>"hi sir, anon again can you give me directions"
> basically I know where all the nigs live in town and can tell that's where he is trying to tell me to go
>get to where I'm going and it is called "D-A-W-N street not dunn, even though me and manager spelled out dunn earlier and he said yeah "dawuun street"
>one hour later, finally arrive at nigs house, he gets free pizza, doesn't tip
>after giving him pizza, "man, yall do this every time I said it was dawuun street"
>I just laugh and walk off
Fuck delivering to black people
>>693186096
That made me laugh!
>>693197593
people kill themselves more often when they have the means to do it easier
>>693194592
You forgot to mention that these were niggers
>>693196397
Chicago has experienced a recent spike in violent crime. It has effectively made it near impossible to legally acquire a gun.
I wonder why?!
how about all of Cali? Same boat.
DC? Yup...
But Vermont, one of the states with the most lax firearm laws happens to be one of the safest places to live. I wonder why?
I don't know what kind of shit you are smoking, but it's not good for you.
>>693184970
In Connecticut we get 30 minutes for every 7.5 hours, unpaid lunch. Or separate rest times that are paid.
>>693184977
Big lots eh? Or TJ Maxx
>>693197824
I can get 10' of rope more easily than a firearm.
>>693194694
Statistics are only used to lie.
>>693180683
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DcdXA3FOf8
Ok I have 1, but its nothing great
>Be me
>Work as cashier at local store
>on shift with friend from high school
>lets call him tony
>It's slow at the moment and we're just talking about random shit
>Then this on black lady in her mid 40's walks by
>Pretty sure this bitch was a prostitute
>Waves at me and tony
>Looks at me
>then at him
>Back at me
>Back at him
>Goes over to the end of his isle
>Starts talking about how shes been lonely for a while and how she never gets out of he house
>Talks about how shes mad at her kids for not visiting and says shes gonna kill them
>Asks tony for his number
>Tony was 17 at the time
>This bitch was at least 40
>Had too much make up on
>4/10 would not bang
>Its really awkward and he tries to leave the conversation
>She keeps trying to look at me with the craziest death stare eyes ive ever seen
>Says that he should come over to her house
>Shell show him a good time
>niggawut.gif
>After like 5 mins she leaves
>didn't buy anything
It was just really weird
She came in for the sole purpose of flirting with a cashier
at a grocery store
All of my wut
>>693196532
>and many times more likely to die in a car accident than being killed or any other kind of accident.
Okay, lets put up a hypothetical situation to help your pea sized brain understand basic Statistics.
Lets draw a tally in the US of how many times in total all the people in the US have contact with cars every day. There are 255 million passenger vehicles in the US today. And lets say 80% of those are driven to and from work, every day. Thats 400 million estimated contacts per day. Per year, thats 146 billion contacts with cars per year.
There are 30,800 deaths per year from cars in the US. Now that means you have a 0.00000021% chance of being killed by a car per year, assuming you have contact twice a day.
Now I'd really like there to be these kinds of statistics that would show how many people in the US have contact with guns per year so I could cross reference this, but I'd bet my right arm that its more of a 2.1x10-7 chance.
>>693197593
>my callousness to human life is justification for guns to be legal
Why are you even posting?
You people are truly dumb.
>>693180882
ive bought just zucchini and cucumber from walmart before. I feed them to my fish
>>693197824
Yeah, and I don't care.
Someone killing himself is not my concern.
I don't care if your depressed failure in life child kills himself.
I'm not going to accept someone saying we need to ban guns because this loser is so pathetic he can't even continue breathing.
Saying we need to ban guns to stop suicides is comparable to saying we need to ban fast food because obesity.
Do you want fast food banned? Do you understand how many people die in this country due to obesity-related diseases?
Do you care about them? Don't you want to stop them from eating themselves to death?
No, you like fast food, and you don't care about fat fucks who kill themselves when they gorge on it, because THEY DO IT TO THEMSELVES.
I don't care what people do to themselves. Someone killing himself has as much impact on me as someone eating McDonalds till they have a heart attack.
>>693186345
I have worked in Norway, you guys get there are whatever time, and drink coffee more often and longer than any people I have met. You may be there for a short time, but shit you spend half the day drinking coffee and bullshitting.
>>693197824
Good fuck em.
>>693197137
there was this old woman that glared at us once and mom rammed the basket into the old hags back so hard her head flew back.
i don't really judge her for it. it could have been justified most of the time, but i don't really know because i was in my own little kid world to notice what was going on until the basket made contact.
was it embarrassing sometimes? sure, but i did get a kick out of it every now and then.
>>693196479
Autismo detected
>>693198411
Why are you even arguing this? They can't ban guns.
>>693197708
The delivery guy here again, I know how that shit goes, took a delivery address said Riley so I went to the numbered address it said, spent a few minutes looking and the place didn't exist so I called them and asked if I had the right address, and she said "no you have the wrong address its RedWood". That's on the other side of town so I was mad. But the best part was that it was an online order so this dumb nignog put that address in herself, no tip got berated about shitty delivery time.
>>693197930
I dont know, I mean having stricter gun laws over the entire country has made it harder to get firearms in general, because the amount of firearms in the country decreases dramatically. But thats never worked, has it?
Retard.
>>693190570
I know a girl that literally asked that to our biology teacher.
She's hot, and finished her MSc in Economics last year. Not that it means a thing, but still.
>>693187713
That chart is a flat out lie. The number of gun homicides in 2011 was 11,800, not 35,000. Utter rubbish.
>>693184034
All walmarts have hour long lunches. They are off the clock so they dont pay you.
t. former walmart employee
>>693197996
Where in CT
I'm new haven/North Haven border
>>693198633
None of what you said is true or makes any sense.
not walmart, but equally shitty company
>work at oreilly auto parts
>yesterday
>customer asks for spark plugs
>"it's for a chevy 350"
>there are 8 different variations of 350s from 1973-2000
>ask him what it's going in
>"it's for a 350 it doesn't matter"
>ask him what year it is
>"it's for a 350 it doesn't matter"
>try explaining to him that there's a huge difference
>old guy plays the age card
>explain to him that I have a degree in automotive
>complains to my coworker (i'm assistant manager) to just give him plugs
>grab him plugs for a 96+ Vortec 350, they have the longest reach
>fuck him
>customer leaves upset
4th of july so it's slow as fuck
>customer's wife comes back right before we close, furious
>tells me the plugs fucked up their engine
>plugs are bent and crushed to shit
>"oh, yeah that was for the 350 right?"
>customer doesn't even look at me, nods
>ask her what it was going in
>she says it's for their boat
>Mercruiser 350, takes marine plugs
>explain to her the difference in plugs
>plug reach is too far, fucked up the pistons
>cylinder heads are shot
>debris scored the cylinders
>total engine rebuild needed
>wife leaves, embarassed
>9:00, close doors
>husband is banging on front doors, yelling
MFW I didn't have to work today
>>693198862
>None of what you said is true or makes any sense.
Please bury your head in the sand some more, it makes it easier for a mass shooting to kill your retard ass.
>>693184444
I believe you mean in summation, retard.
>first month working at walmart. High school graduate
>xbox one was released not too long ago, sold out.
>except for demo xbox we had behind a locked glass cage, with a hole to poke the power botton
>kiddos are always playing with demo xbox that was basically free for public use. A line even formed one day.
>go to use bathroom, see thick 13yo redhead kiddo mashing his fingers on the buttons, playing battlefield (I have no idea which release), with full volume
>come back from taking shit 15m later, kiddo still there
>stares at me until I walk out of his sight.
>pretend to use bathroom again
>still there after taking pretend shit
>address situation like proper gentleman. politely inform kiddo he's been on for over half an hour
no
>never expected that. most of the kids get off as soon as I tell them
>kid re-glues his eyes to the screen
do you know where your parents are?
>no response
>look for currage. boss already thought I was shit
>stand in front of tv
>kiddo looks me straight in the eye as I reach down for power button under glass.
>xbox turns off
>kid gets up, throws a few punches, which I predicted, smacking his arms away
>throws entire body weight
>slide out of his sweaty grasp, while his fat ass fell into a rack of call of duty ghosts
>most of the copies are on the floor. Look up, fat kid has vanished
>pick up copies, tell no one
>>693181590
The stars have aligned and are allowing to apologize once again for doing that. I have a medical condition and cannot control my shit's.
Not Walmart but here's a retail story
>be me bagging groceries at first job
>store I work at is smaller so we only have a loss prevention team that comes in about once every 2 weeks
>today's the day they're here
>bored and it's a slow day so I go take out the trash in garbage at front of store
>walk over to dumpster with trash
>throw it over while saying "kobe" for the millionth time that year
>walking back and here a commotion
>rounding the corner of the store is this 300 pound woman carrying stolen bottles of liquor
>hauling ass
>our loss prevention team isnt far behind
>woman opens her car and throws bottles in and jumps in drivers seat
>black guy on loss prevention team stops jumps in front of her car
>I'm standing here watching all this like a fucking tard and think what the fuck is happening
>standoff ensues between black loss prevention man and woman
>woman lurches car forward
>black guy pulls a pair of scissors out of his pocket and stabs them in the car hood
>lady starts driving
>black guy takes out scissors and stabs them in the tire
>lady loses control for a second as she drives away and sideswipes a streetlight
still the greatest thing I've ever seen
>>693198891
kek
>>693199091
Mass shootings are so rare that it will never happen. Stop watching the news, it's frying your brain.
>>693198599
This was actually pretty funny and me and all my friends say "Duuawn street" everytime we pass it when together now
>>693198633
So let me get this straight.. We have made the use of illicit drugs illegal. Yet we have a number of these drugs being imported in from a neighboring country.
If firearms were further restricted on a national level, or flat out banned, wouldn't they be smuggled in from said country. Most likely used in illegal activities?
Fucking moron...
>>693199218
>Mass shootings are so rare
>http://www.gunviolencearchive.org/reports/mass-shooting
First result on google Sand lover.
>>693198633
>I dont know, I mean having stricter gun laws over the entire country has made it harder to get firearms in general
Yeah like Mexico, gun control paradise
>Be me in electronics department
>Super zealous religious Blimp bitch comes into store
>Is known to pass out flyers for her church and speak the word of god to people randomly.
>Chilling out, rearanging the bargain bin of movies.
>Comes up to me "Have you felt jesus in your life son?"
>"I'm sorry miss, I don't believe in god."
>She looked horrified, Almost as if she'd had her favorite snack cake taken from her.
>Gasping for air due to how much she was upset.
>Basically retort back in why her views are bullshit and could give two fucks about her Jazzy riding fat ass.
>Woman is seething with anger because I didn't care about her views.
>Two co-workers are laughing their asses off about it, but pull me aside from it by asking for some help.
>Was explained to me I could get fired for talking about religion to customers. Kek'd because at the store I worked at, everyone knew the woman and hated her.
>Didn't get fired, even after getting a complaint.
>be me in high school
>nothing to do after the mall closes
>hang out then head to walmart after midnight
>head for the hardware aisle
>find all the letters and numbers for addresses
>change the letters to spell out the phrase "lick my sticky cunt"
>come back two weeks later
>says the same thing
>employees never check for this shit
>come back in two weeks again
>letters are all changed
>ask why the letter are now in racks with the key lock on end
>team member tells us that the corporate started receiving letter from angry parents whose kids were trying to read it one day
>kek to self
>>693182983
lack of technical knowledge of a thing =! the wisdom or stability to misuse thing
get fucked, you 9gag meme using fuck.
>>693184034
i work at a dollar store and i get some hour breaks.
im sorry you work for some slave drivers and get 15 min breaks.
>>693198891
This is amazing
>>693182308
Tbh
>>693192127
explosives and cp aren't related at all
>
>>693191840
kys homo
>>693196047
>niggers
>nuclear family
>>693199158
I fucking hate kids
>>693185071
Wal-Mart employees also don't give a shit if you take things.
>>693199194
>more things that never happened
>>693190687
