Ok /b/, need some advice...though I probably already know what I'm going to do.
>Me, 50. Been with my wife for 5 years, married the last 1 (our 2nd marriages).
>Was single for 20 years after my first marriage
>My son is grown and out of the house, my step-daughter is 13 (and no, I'm not molesting her...this isn't
>that kind of post).
>I bring in 2/3rds of our income right now (though her's can fluctuate since she owns her own business).
>Wife is pretty and smart.
>the problem is that I feel like I've been bait-and-switched when it comes to our sex life.
>Wife was a kinky sub before we got married. Got anal a few times a month (something I told her early on
>was a requirement for me)
>We had sex more before we were married. While I understand this is not uncommon, it started with 3-4 times a week.
>1 year into being married, we've had sex once in the last 6 weeks. No anal July of last year. No sub since April of
>last year. Boring, vanilla sex when we do have sex. I'm having a hard time getting into it.
>I've tried talking to her about it, she says nothing is wrong. I've tried doing more around the house (and I was already doing my
>share), romancing her, etc. Nothing is working.
While I love my wife, sex and love have never been tied together for me. It's all fucking to me whether it's a stranger or it's someone you care about. I'm seriously considering stepping out...either massage parlors, escorts or strippers. I had a lot of fun with that before I met my wife. I'm 50, my dick still works and I'm not dead. What do /b/?
an hero
>>680981665
LOL. Not even in the realm of possibility. Other than this shit, my life is great.
>>680981156
>No anal July of last year. No sub since April of last year. Boring, vanilla sex when we do have sex
do stuff then, tell her thats what you want to do
>>680982225
I've already done that. She's always got an excuse as to why not. Last night I was just caressing her ass when we were in bed. I was reaching down and she told me that she has a plug in there. I told her that her backdoor had no plug. She told me it's exit only. I told her that's not necessarily the case. All of this was joking. Then she said, "Nope, exit only." And I lightheartedly said, "Well, that's kinda sad because it's a waste." She got really serious and somewhat hostile and said, "It is if I say it is."
WTF.
>>680983018
Sure, rub it in.
>>680981156
>I've tried talking to her about it, she says nothing is wrong.
First off, why are you getting advice from, what are almost guaranteed to be children that are MAYBE older than your daughter?
Second off, did the actual conversation go like "Hey, we should do sub stuff like we used to" and she went "no, nothing's wrong"?
Like, have you actually told her "Us not doing things for this long is a serious problem"?
>>680983267
Because there's most certainly at least a couple of adults on here that have had similar issues.
Secondly, the conversation went like this: "Why don't we do the stuff we used to do...like master-sub and anal? Is there something wrong?"
Answer: "Nothing's wrong, I just don't feel like it?
Me: Why not?
Answer: "I don't know, not in the mood"
Me: Honey, I told you a long time ago the things I want from our sex life. This is kind of an issue for me...and I want to know what has changed."
Answer: Nothing has changed, what made you think I liked it before?
Me: You told me you liked being a sub before. You told me the erotica you read that got you excited was all sub stuff. You told me after I hogtied you that you wanted to do it again. I never abused the safe word. What's up? Why no sub, why no anal?
Answer: I don't have a reason, I just don't feel like it.
At that point I let it go and went to sleep. Maybe she's uncomfortable doing this crap with her daughter under the same roof, I don't know. But she won't tell me so I'm kinda stuck.
>>680981156
Diagnosis: You're not fucking her like you did when you were first dating. Parking lot blowjobs, under table handjobs.
She likes danger sex anon. Make it dangerous.
>>680983962
I don't think that's the case. I'm seriously wondering if she's going through menopause.
>>680981156
You had leverage before you got married, now that you are tied to her you have no leverage. This is why you don't get married if you are a guy. You have no way to get what you want from her now, its completely her choice and she knows it. Good luck.
>>680984489
I'm not going to divorce her. Other than sex, things are really good between us. If the sex issue doesn't resolve, I'll just get some strange.
>680911111
>>680911111
>>680984683
I never said divorce her in fact I recommend NOT to. If you split you are going to get screwed more than likely. You make MORE than here so you would owe her alimony and she has a daughter which you would get stuck paying support for at least 5 years on plus half of whatever you own. You have it figured out what you have to do to be happy. Just don't get caught as that would make for an easy divorce in here favor if she caught you. Again, good luck.
>>680983920
"Well, that's kind of an issue, because _I_ feel like it. I love you and I don't want to force you, but you need to understand that I am going to keep putting some pressure on you until you're either willing to meet more of my needs--even if it's not entirely enjoyable for you--or give me a better reason that "I'm not in the mood." This is a partnership and I will expect you to work with me on this."
Let it go at that, but bring it up periodically. When you do have sex, push her. Be forceful. Give orders. They can be playful, but be authoritative. "Stop." "Slower." "Deeper." Whatever. Over time you may re-establish your place on top. Good luck.