How do I not get attached so easily /b/? It seems like I get attached to any relatively attractive girl who talks to me for an extended period of time. I can't seem to help it, and i get anxious and depressed when things don't go the way I want and I end up clinging on, sending messages and stuff when it's clearly not mutual
What do /b/? Will be bumping with cute asians
Curious... How old op?
>>676101348
Find your inner psychopath. Learn detachment. One day you might learn how to use people instead of letting them use you like a cuck bitch.
>>676101774
18
Hey man I can give you some legitimate advice here, I'm currently 18 also but I had a rough patch of depression for about 2 years from 15-17 and I had no self esteem even because of acne. I was relatively good looking so I talked to girls alot and more often than not if they showed interest in me I'd message them a lot and get pissed when they didn't message me back, like I was entitled to something. It was because I hated myself, in the past year I've been working out, it helps a LOT for the self-esteem and I started reading self help books and was really into self improvement. You should do this and learn to love yourself that's how you can truly be okay that someone doesn't want you. Other people can have opinions man learn to respect them and value your own.
>>676101348
I used to be really similar until I traveled out of the country alone. I stayed in hostels and forced myself to meet people. Eventually I was able to enjoy my time with people without trying to make it into something more.
>>676101348
I used to be that way when I was about 15 or 16. Now it seems I can't get attached to anyone no matter how hard I try. I guess I just need to find a happy medium.
>>676103749
I dunno, I mean I wouldn't even say I hate myself. I have a bunch of things I'm good at and I usually do everything by myself, except for when I find someone I'm interested in and get attached.
>>676101348
Just friend zone them. Takes care of a lot of drama. Talk to them as if they are friends and that's it. Not close friends, don't make that mistake.
>>676102824
>>676106297
This.
Also, sounds like you're really desperate to have a grill in your life. I've been there. Try focusing on other shit. Be happy with yourself and then you can't someone you can be happy with.
>>676106297
I've already made that mistake pretty bad
>>676107064
I think I just really want someone I can be close to. Even though I'm really introverted and don't have a lot of friends. It's weird.
>>676107064
This guy gets it.
>>676107064
This.
Putting pussy on a pedestal leaves you with some pretty hard disappointments. Even if you did get to sleep with a girl it'll probably not be as awesome as you think.
Now honestly is the perfect time to start a hobby or start that project you've always wanted to start. Focus your energy on something positive and not trying to get laid.
>>676107605
I 100% agree. never focus on one women be a man who is centered all women will test you to see how centered you are prove to them you a man who follows the beat of his own drum with are without her. learn how to court a women and also let her do ALL THE chasing.
>>676107468
Focus on yourself and the girls will come to you.
>>676108586
>>676108997
Yeah but I don't really talk to or run into a lot of girls so I don't see that happening. I'm always focused on myself, until I get attached like I have.
>>676102212
I'm realizing more every day that this is not terrible advice
>>676109685
You just played yourself. Staying focused and then worrying getting too attached. Come on bro
In a similar position OP. Seems like solid advice, but the problem is that I guess I'm not just putting pussy on a pedestal; I want female companionship I guess, but of course, I don't show it since even I know that'd just repel women away.
Like OP, I get attracted to pretty much any good looking girl who I talk to and is fun to talk with. I try telling myself not to be, but can't help it.
>>676101348
19 and currently on the fence of depression. Been single for >3 years and ended up trying to get back with my ex who then chose her somewhat abusive more recent ex over me. My friend the other day gave me some advice, he's really successful and kind of a sociopath, he said "girls who want to bang you want to look at you, not hear you talk... little shallow things like clean fingernails etc go a long way"
I'm fairly good looking though I think subjectively. I'm really close with a lot of pretty girls but nothing ever quite works out I always get shafted at the last second. Thinking hard about it every day.
>>676107036
that's some froid shit idk if that's the real reason
>>676109685
focused -until-, maybe just keep being focused with no buts or untils
but don't take my word for it I'm even worse
>>676110618
Ok ok ok. I hope this advice helps you. First, don't try to bang any of those "cute" 5/10 girls you mentioned. Not only will you regret it but you will ruin a friendship. Don't date friends who are girls that never works out. Second, change yourself. It may shake that "near depression " syndrome that we all clearly have since we are here. These changes don't need to be big changes. Even just a change of routine is enough. Best of luck and stay away from bad bitches.
OP is a faggot, this is now an Asian thread.
>>676111723
wth ugly as fuck grill
>>676111416
thanks bruv.
I'm not a complete tard I'll keep thinking about what I can do. I need to get comfortable not having a plan but i've gotten into a bad pattern of persuing rando girls just to feel like I'm doing something instead of just swimming in self pitty
>>676111723
just make an asian thread fag
>>676109685
>I don't really talk to or run into a lot of girls
there's your problem
I to get depressed when things don't go the way I want with a women, but i fucking just walk away and find a new girl.
>>676112109
just because I was accused of liking 5/10 girls doesn't make this a 5/10 thread
>>676101348
Fist pic best pic
>>676111723
>>676112109
>>676112184
>>676112286
>>676112446
Fuck you I always make asian threads. And I don't flood them with my relationship problems, I make a separate thread.
>>676112446
Those eyebrows made me lose yellow fever thanks anon
>>676112555
people making this an at most 6/10 asian thread are doing the same thing as if I talked about my life problems in a perfectly good asian thread, but even my problems are more interesting than some of these girls
>>676112555
You want advice? Work on being okay with yourself before you start pursuing women. Your low self-esteem is clearly holding you back, and even if you do land a relationship, it's going to make things difficult between you and your SO.
>>676103749
>I'm currently 18
>rough patch of depression for about 2 years from 15-17
>because of acne
go die faggot. you didn't have depression.
>>676104184
i did this and thought i got good at it but then meet someone really fantastic, went out with her, two of us got along like no other woman i'd met before
we're penpals now, but god do i regret not having more time with that woman
Fuck you guys, all of this must be coincidence or not...
Today my GF dump me (I guess?) she only said "goodbye" and blocked me.
It feels awful but at the same time I don't care, it's like, I am a fucking real life Byakuya Togami.
Yet she was the first one to pass through my apathetic attitud.
bru, being in love is a win-lose situation
It was the girl I wanted to spend my whole life with, have kids and shit, we even planned all of that and named our kids.
>>676113734
not op btw
>>676113693
Reading comprehension, faggot. He said he has low self-esteem because of acne, which is perfectly reasonable.
>>676113803
Or maybe she was the first one to tolerate your apathetic attitude. That sort of thing might be cool in the world of anime cliches, but in real life, people tend to find it shitty
>>676113803
the fact that you chose what i assume is a fucking anime character to compare yourself to tells me exactly why she dumped you
>>676114553
Yeeeah, I might sound like some weeashit, but thanks to her I am not anymore.
The honest answer OP? I only read the OP and I'm too drunk to read through the rest of this post. You don't meet enough women.
I want you to believe me when I say, most women you meet are the exact same person. Their facial structure might be different, their "likes" and "ambitions" might seem different but they are the same.
The reason you get so attached Mr. Moseby, is because when you find one woman, you don't know when you'll find another one.
You need to get out more and meet more women. It's really that simple. I know you're looking for some deep psychological answer but it's the same reason broke people get excited over $1,000 winning scratch off tickets. They have no idea when they'll come across $1,000 again.
You have no idea when you'll find another girl who has interest in you again, even if she's feigning it.
1) Improve your sense of fashion/style. Seriously, go to a gay guy for the best advice on this.
2) Get some fucking confidence and a personality. Don't be this bland boring "hopeless romantic" that women get bored with easily.
3) If you're a fat ugly fuck, get in shape. You don't NEED a gym but you still need to be in relatively decent shape... at least skinny.
There's no magic formula OP
>>676114777
You tell me nig, she was a fujoshi
>>676101348
if you're into a grill, and wanna bang them, then make your best effort to do so.. and if it fails, if they are no interested, move on to the next one.. until you are successful. rinse & repeat.. quite simple really.
>>676115453
this doesn't works so well for me I'm skeptical
>>676115177
this seems like some solid perspective thanks man
>>676116082
Okay, tell us about your game. Step by step, what do you do if you're interested in a girl?
>>676115177
or just go to a nightclub
>>676102212
This is actually pretty good advice.
All is fair in love and war, make sure you're on the winning side OP.
>>676115169
>>676113729
>>676113661
>>676113551
>>676113427
>>676112653
Nigger. Can you post any slower?
>>676116362
sounds like a lot of effort. There's nothing to it basically I meet a girl, we chit and get along, I ask her out, sometimes i get rejected but lots of the time she's like cool and then changes her mind later it's a very weird pattern
>>676101348
It happens to me and I'm 34.
>>676116500
it's good short term advice
>>676113155
Moar of this chick?
>>676116362
not him, but hear are my steps
find qt
ask her out to dinner(make definite plans!!!!)
let her do most of the talking, look for signs, just focus on having a good time.
If I like what I want I'll make plans for a second definite date on the spot
>>676116718
What's your wider social circle like? Do you have friends with whom you go out regularly? Not like every other night but maybe ever weekend or two.
>>676117748
yeah I hang out with various groups of 6+ like 3-4 hours a day. Different squads between my university and my home city. We don't club or anything though, and the girls in those circles are all taken
>>676117520
Why let her do most of the talking? You want her to think you're interesting, don't you? I'm not saying dominate the conversation, but y'all should be more or less equal in terms of conversation.
Also, you might not want to make plans for a second date on the spot. That could come off as a little desperate. Wait a few days, and ask her out again. Not the same date as before. If you took her out to dinner first, then think of something else for the second date. Something active or outdoorsy, or maybe take her to an art gallery if she's into that kind of shit (or even if she isn't; you could score some points by taking her a little bit out of her comfort zone).
>>676116377
if you can dance picking up girls at a nightclub is ez pz
>>676101348
I, too, can relate. Say, OP, do you also have a THING for Asian girls?
>>676118139
That's good. And don't worry about the girls in your social circle, that's not what I was getting at.
If you and your friends are out doing something, invite a girl to go with you. Like, "Hey, the squad and I are going to XYZ, you're welcome to come if you want". Don't ask her to come. You and your friends are going to do something and she can come if she wants. Don't make her commit to it, just give her a choice and she what she does. Even if she doesn't go with you, you can gauge her reaction and see if she's worth pursuing further.
>>676118322
gonna try this in the summer tbh
>>676118265
I think what anon means is put the spot light on her.
tbh in my experience, people love talking about themselves. If you show interest in what the qt likes (without being too obvious, you'll come of as a fucking creep), she'll love talking to you.
I mean wouldn't you love talking to a person who likes what you like?
>>676118499
Yeah, I have really bad yellow fever. Like half the girls at my uni are asian so it's okay. Not that I know any of them..
I also have a big thing for redheads though
>>676101348
try giving them less attention and they will crave it more
>>676115453
A lot of guys do this, and this is probably how the term "fuccboi" came to be.
>>676118734
hmm, I have actually done things like that before. Went fairly well but in the end, still no dice. I'll probably do it again if I have a chance.
>>676119026
this
>>676118265
actually agree with >>676118828
if you're good at it, there's no better way to get someone wrapped around your finger than to make them feel like they're the centre of the world for a moment or two
>>676118828
Oh no I totally agree. I'm just saying that there should be a healthy amount of reciprocity in the conversation. I like talking about myself too, but after a while, it gets tiring and I just want to listen to the other person for a bit.
>>676118970
you go to UofT by any chance? maybe that's more in the 3/4 asian territory though
>>676118734
hmmm not bad advice
I used to be like you but after a year of fapping to rape/sniff/netorare hentai I lost most interest in girls
>>676119186
too bad girl in >>676118828 will never like me back
>>676119233
I agree anon. Overdoing it actually throws the whole thing off. Balance is key.
>>676118265
women love mystery and love listeners
just ask her a lot of questions
and yes I guess it does come of as desperate
I only do it because I only date women who have a high level of attraction to me after the first date
but, yea just do fun shit parks ,walks
and if shes not in her comfort zone on anydate you're doing something wrong
>>676119344
I'm in Australia
>>676120044
Coach Corey Wayne?
>>676120134
hey that explains it australia is just hot canada
>>676120260
nope, but i'm a 3% man :)
>>676120134
University of Melbourne?
>>676120459
Newcastle
>>676120044
Haha, sorry, I wrote that wrong. When I said, "slightly out of her comfort zone", I should have written "something that she's never done before". A date that feels new and adventurous is an almost guaranteed success.
And yeah, women love listeners, though I can't say I agree that "women love mystery" is a safe generalization. You might just as well say "men love huge tits". Well, yeah, some of us do but there are just as many men who love small tits.
I'm just saying that the first date should be an opportunity for BOTH of you to get to know each other better. So both of you should be talking.
>>676120825
well I mean by mystery you want let women discover everything about you slowly over time/ don't lay everything about yourself on the table on your first date
>>676108997
TOP KEK
>>676101348
Old fag 50 here, women like mentally strong men, if you have a gym body that might attract their attention but without mental strength they wont stick around
Mental strength is the ability to start a conversation with anyone, you speak with a strong voice but are kind and compassionate.
So before you start with pussy you need to practice on every day folks you meet during the day........you don't meet with many people during the day ?, well why are you asking for dating advice when your real problem is you are a loner?
Stop being a loner first, join as many clubs as you can, try making them unisex clubs and not macho clubs like shooting and shit, swimming, dancing, running, reading etc.
Then when you start meeting people learn to great them with a strong voice and work on being a real pleasant well mannered guy.
Before you know it you will just have girlfriends without even trying. There is fuck all point in whining about how you don't have girlfriends if your real problem is you're a timid weak minded loner.
>>676108997
kek
only women or the very wealthy men have this privilege
>>676120134
Monash is full of them
>>676122442
this!
Moar Asian amateurs
>>676120825
Bullshit women like listeners, a hell of a lot of them like a guy that takes control and brings them into conversations they would be to scared to enter into on their own.
Women get wet and wild over mentally strong men.....that means never whining over negative shit....if every time you go out you look for people you can have a conversation about how you are so fucking useless at this or that, then you will always end up in the company of losers......even if it is the shittiest party/event ever try thinking of something positive to stay...."I love these type of parties it means I get to go home early and swim naked in my pool"....something that will make her laugh.....they want to be with a guy who can take the shittiest situation and make if fun.
Best advice: dont chase the women, just do what you are doing and in the right time right girl will appear. KEK!
>>676101348
realise that the things you like most about these women is what you make up, in your head.
that's why you feel "they've changed" when their behaviour doesn't match your expectations. Then you feel you were deceived.
well, you WERE deceived, but not by her, you were deceived by yourself.
