Most fucked up thing you have done
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Most fucked up thing you have done
>>671807990
well asside from beating my cat and doing wierd shit then crying about it
When I was like twelve me my buddies stuck out at a sleepover and hopped a fence into a preschool and I dumped on a swing
To think some poor kid had see my dump on that swing at recess kinda fucks with me
>be me 12 yo
>femanon
>in school
>in a bad mood
>special day called "dierendag"
>translate to animalday
>so on that day your allowed to take pets to scholl
>3 dogs constantly barking
>ask parents to control there animals
>Parents don't do shit
>a part of or classroom is a workshop with tools and shit like that
>I was sitting in back next to the workshop part
>grab box cutter within arm reach
>I stand up
>slice closest dogs throat
>stabbed other dog 4 times
>don't really know why I did that
>subdued by teacher
>was arrested
>3 years in mental hospital
>moved to other side of country
>the end
>>671808574
sheesh
play russian roulette when I'm depressed
>>671808898
I hope you win soon.
>>671808979
lol, i don't give a fuck. you should try it too
>>671808898
what a way to go aye
>>671808898
do it with a semi automatic
works better
>>671807990
urinated on my exgfs daughter in the shower
>>671807990
I once slathered a perfectly good sandwich with mayonnaise
>>671809315
Mayo is delicious and i got a bunch of angry puerto ricans ready to die for that shit
I worked for a company taking care of the mentally disabled. I'd steal their opiates and I molested and had sex with one often. She'd lay down and let me. She was old and really big. She wasn't verbal. She couldn't tell anyone.
>>671808574
I like you
post in this thread
>>671809315
YOU MADMAN
>>671809457
Why?
>>671809150
ok you autistic fuck
>>671809306
Story?
>>671809306
Moar?
>>671809569
I play Taiwanese baccarat when Im lonely
The fuck nigga?
>be me
>age 20
>on college campus
>drunk af
>have to poop
>see college house door wide open with mattress in doorway
>poop on mattress
>wipe ass with shirt & leave it there
>>671809432
How old was she?
I fantasize of taking advantage and banging handicapped chicks often. If only I can find one in real life. Feels bad man.
>>671808574
You should kill yourself
>>671809432
There is no reaction yet to this fucked up behavior
>that's why I love the /b/ros
>>671809826
I diaharead in the woods once
But who hasnt
>>671809521
>northern European, presumably pre-kebab
>memories of school => educated
>efficient, adept with tools
>takes matters into own hands when necessary
>fuck the police
I just admire/identify with your style
I shot a jug of chocolate milk
>>671810139
>Nestle
wtf bro
>>671810030
Pre-kebap?
Live In the Netherlands
>>671810139
Frijolero detected
>>671810030
Dope fedora /b/ro
>>671809780
You do know what Russian roulette is right
>>671810332
Im not a dirty fucking Mexican. There's no goddamn way I could get into this awesome country illegally
>>671807990
>be me 20 yo
>male
>in the Army
>during first deployment in Iraq
>not saying where or which unit
>on patrol in market
>my face.jpeg when stupid sand nigger keeps yelling and trying to grab my rifle
>interpreter runs off and is nowhere to be found
>for sure we are going to get hit in my mind
>keep yelling at the fucker and he isn't backing down
>stab him to death with my knife
>meanwhile interpreter comes back
>at this point people are upset as fuck
>interpreter translates what his family are saying
> they said that he was retarded and runs up to every new person
>my face.jpeg when I stabbed a retard to death
>never got over that shit
> ended up doing two more deployments with the same unit and they never forgot that I was that guy that stabbed a retard
>>671810294
I meant, before the latest wave of "refugees." I guess the Netherlands got overrun a couple generations ago, well before Germany.
>>671810546
USA! USA! USA!
>>671809845
50s I'd say..when we were alone I'd say"potato, I need to check your vagina, lay down." Id take off her pants and diaper and finger her. Eventually I got bold and spread her big meaty thys and stuck my cock in her ridiculously hairy pussy just pump away and I'd cum in her every time
>>671809432
Uhm...
>>671807990
I used a 10 year old boy's phone to watch porn while I jacked off right next to him while he was sleeping.
>>671810546
Stolen valley ranch confirmed. Keep thinking you did this shit without being pooped on by obummer.
>>671810663
What. The. Fuck. Man?
>>671810483
Gracias, amigo. Now don't forget to wash the bright colors separately, in cold. Also, please make sure you rinse the bins with bleach after you take out the trash
Me 15
Spotlighted and shot about 30 jackrabbits
Took baling wire and wired them to bottom of people's cars all over town
Tossed a few under houses in the crawlspace
Stuck one in a mailbox
>>671810812
before obummer dumbass
>>671807990
you're mom lmao
i shot a man in reno, just to watch him die
Became a thief in high school and now a professional
9th grade, sharing a locker with some fat fuck. He says it's his last day at school. Tell my friend my locker code, friend steals his lunch tickets for the whole year, speakers for a radio and a PlayStation 3 game. He goes to locker and finds shit missing. Asks me where it is, I was with him during 6th period so he cannot pin shit on me.
Lend ps3 game to class mate in high school, I borrow his. Be at gym class. Stand behind him while he opens locker. Remember his locker code. Steal my game from him. He tells me someone stole my game. I tell him he has to give me his ps3 game to make up for the loss
The list goes on and on
>>671811031
>Newfag can't even greentext, anymore, what the fuck?
>>671810546
It's just a raghead. You did the world a favor. You raised the IQ of Iraq by a few points too.
>>671807990
>friends grandpa was in Vietnam
>marching with his troop
>makes everyone stop and be quiet
>hears guy and girl fucking inside an underground hole
> takes grenade, pulls pin, drops it in the hole
>silence
>BOOM
>ded.jpg
Wasn't something I did, but it was pretty fucked up.
>>671809315
Shut up you filthy heretic. Mayonnaise is God himself in physical form manifested in this realm for the sole benefit of humanity. I was an Atheist until I tried Helmann's. Nothing so amazing could be created by anything except a divine being. I hope you choke on your miracle whip you filthy cretin.
>>671810867
what?
when i was young like 16, me and my friend were walking down a path that went through a rich neighbour hood. the path was between both the houses backyards. i have to shit, i see one of the rich house;s bird baths next to a tree all decorated and shit. i pull my pants down put my ass to the edge of the bird bath and take a massive shit in it. then run away.
second story.
went to a friends house that wasn't really a friend more of like a close buddy, ring the door bell tells me dosent want to hang out with me but is with all of his other friends in the house, i hear them all laughing at me. he slams the door in my face, i then proceed to whip out my dick and piss all over his front door step and walk away.
>>671811169
When did you become the boss of 4chan? Stop being a total bitch and shitposting you faggot
Fucking summer
>>671810663
Well, I call bullshit.
>>671808574
Naaktfoto's aub
>>671811732
>fucking summer
AUSTRALIAN SHITPOSTER CONFIRMED
>>671811535
this
>>671808574
Another fucked up thing I have done
>be me, 15 yo femanon
>together with this guy
>looking for ww 2 stuff in a bunker
>the door is heavy. Like you can't open it on your own
>when we where inside he starts touching me
>hit him on the head with flashlight
>he falls on the ground
>go outside and close the door
>never came back
>the end
Rammed a kids head into a ceramic tile wall in elementary school because fuck that fucking fuck I wanted to pee in the urinal that had then pen cap in it.
Maximum autism
>>671811739
Nah, it happened a few times .. It's a house that holds like 5-6 disabled people. Usually two staff people than an overnight since we want them to feel like normal we take em out so usually this one I banged wouldn't wanna go so I'd stay and watch her
>>671809423
You said it all bro
>>671810294
Are you the mixed hooker? What city do you work in? I forgot...
be in a thread where sum dum cuck posted a cp
>>671811798
Are you serious?
And you are calling other people newfags? Wow. Please die faggot
>>671812168
Mixed hooker?
I fucked my best friend's mom while he was grounded for boning his girlfriend. I ratted him out.
Want to have a reaction but I can't.
I just shrug and continue scrolling, reading and shrug some more.
Hmmm... eh...
I know it's bad and all but can't be bothered.
>>671808574
fucking faggot
>>671810663
Boner/10
Cum on my best friends sisters toothbrush
>>671810139
at least you didn't waste it
let my curious 10 year old daughter give me a hand job
pooped in the house IT WASN'T MY FAULT I HAD DIARRHEA :(
>>671812229
That wasn't me nigger
Go fuck an abbo
>>671812803
thats awesome man, congratulations.
>>671812253
The prostitute that works in a red light place. Half Asian. I guess it's not you. She has some good stories here every now and then. I want to bring her a copy of Mein Kampf for a gift.
>>671808574
>>671812047
I honestly doubt this is real but if it is tits or gtfo
Hmm.
Well, one time I cleaned up dookie from my cat in the house and put it in a walmart bag, then tied it real nicely to my douchebag neighbors car door handle. I always wondered if he opened it up like a strange gift.
I dropped a big flake of crystal meth in an old friends root beer once. He later told me (not knowing he was drugged) that was "the best day of his life".
Once, this girl who was platonic friends w my best friend came to my house. He basically dropped her off and left. I talked to her for a few hours then told her I wanted to fuck her. She said only if we were boyfriend and girlfriend could that happen. I said no problem! I'll be your boyfriend. She said ok and in the next 5 min I had her jeans and panties off and her legs over my shoulders pounding her on my old bunk beds. She layed there silently. I pulled out and came on her belly. We swam afterwards in my pool, and i fucked her in the pool corner and sucked her tits.
I called my friend after and told him to get her, he did.
She blew up my phone for like the next 4 days and i dogged her. I felt like a jerk years later looking back but i had nothing to offer her so I didn't know what to do.
It qualifies to me as bad because I'm really not one of those type of those "jerk" guys. I just had this magic opportunity and I took it..
told a kid to kill himself and he did
>>671813244
dude, im not reading all that.
JESUS!
>>671808574
>>671812047
>femanon
You know the rules
i have set a couple of big fires, 3 of them the firemen had to come. i caught frogs when i was a kid, and i burned them with melting plastic and put needles in their eyes and stuff. shot birds with bb gun, buried them, waited a while before i dugged them up again to look at the bones and rotting flesh. i was a really wierd kid. perfectly normal now tho, exept the fact that i sit on this imageboard all day everyday. ayy
>>671808574
wow, legit psychopathic killer behavior. Abuses animals, no compassion for other people. I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up killing someone unless you get help, lady
>>671807990
>Secretly stealing thousands of dollars from my aunt through a carefully crafted scheme.
>Found some kids glasses in a bathroom, stole them and broke them. Not 5 minutes later I hear him frantically searching for them.
>Have found purses, smartphones, car keys on the ground before. Take the cash from the purse, throw it in garbage can. Try to unlock phone, throw it across parking lot when I can't. Take cool bottle opener keychain off the keys and tossed them in a construction site.
>Broke into a lecture hall drunk and pissed in a classroom, watched porn on the projector screen, and left the teachers desktop as a klansmen.
>Tortured the fuck out of insects as a kid
>I get pleasure from breaking into the taboo of indecent, cruel behavior for some reason.
>>671810139
You motherfucker
>>671808574
Shit man dat is wel fucked
>>671813746
Not planing to get help soon
>>671810663
never preggo?
>>671811343
Every goat fucker is retarded. He barely made a dent in their unbelievably low average iq
>>671807990
I raided a nearby parks garbage can for dog shit bags. Very carefully I smeared said dogshit all over this church's playground. Slide, monkey bars, rings, ect. I went to the front of the church and took their garden hose, put it into the front door mail slot and turned it on full.
>>671814092
enjoy living in jail and not being abble to have a normal life.
You're pretty stupid, psychopathy is like a winning lottery ticket. The myth is that all of you are murderers. The reality is almost every top ranking executive in corporations is a psychopath or sociopath because they get their kicks on working their way to the top by overpowering people and crushing them professionally. Then they have no need for violence and can enjoy the finest things in life like 6 figure salaries and sushi for lunch.
Also as a woman, you'll have a lot of fun fucking with dumb guy's heads who think you should be their secretary, when you overpower them and throw them under the bus to get the promotion.
>>671811798
IT'S NOT SUMMER HERE
>pissed in bottle and left on teachers desk in middle school
>jerked Ino sisters used panties as much as possible in teen years
>rubbed one out over the pants at work
>let into tenants house to do work
>jerked off with dirty panties of women multiple times
>one was a mother
>she had clean panties in the laundry room
>her daughter had dirty(too young) jerked anyway
>stole 16 year old girls lace thong
>>671810546
Kevin Dillon beat you to it in platoon. You're full of shit, faggot.
>>671814396
That is so true
>>671814102
nah, to old, and her plumbing was fucked up
>>671813488
>>671813488
you sound pretty cool. keep up the good work.
Lol? I cant even
What
What
No
Jimmy fuck stop touching yourself in the basement
The neighbours cat watches you
Somebody read my fucking post and comment
>>671814505
I'm glad your only reference is a movie fag, but if you ever join the Army and are blessed with an MOS like 11B and pass air assault school and end up at Fort Campbell ask some one about the guy that stabbed a retard to death. It's still talked about
>>671814716
*too
you illiterate fuck. No wonder you have to bang retards.
>>671808215
You don't feel remorse for beating your cat but you do for takin the a shit on a swing? You seem like an utter fag wow.
When I was 14 me and my friends went into a park late at night and pooped at the bottom of the slides and pissed down them. Forgot about it until this faggot brought that up.
I'm a girl btw ..
I'd say the most fucked up thing I ever did have sex with my female best friend when I was 9
>>671815314
Faggot
>>671815314
you'll probably have sexual problems when you're older. Technically you were molested, even if you were part of it
>>671815051
Kill
>yourself
>>671815314
Wanna elaborate on that last part?
>>671815874
Ah, that's more like it.
NOW i can sleep. Thanks anon
>>671810546
Holy shit, sorry bro
>annoying person joins group of friends
>everybody dislikes him
>friends bitch about it every day
>get tired of their bitching
>tell kid to fuck off and we aren't his friends
I feel pretty bad about doing that
>shot a rabbit with a bb gun
>vandalized abandoned hospital
>person said something I disliked so I hit them for no real good reason
>friend slide across a desk and I shoved him off of it and he smacked his head on the wall don't know why
Yeah I guess thats it.
>>671813488
oh and i forgot about my teen years. i ran alot, like in track and stuff. everytime i passed someone, i did not think, oh im faster, i always tought that i could kill that person. and when i was really young, like 6 or 7, i stabbed a kid who was 5 with a pencil. it was in a school playroom. i put a t shirt around his face in the pillowroom and stabbed him twice, never knew why i did that shit, have never ever talked about it with anyone. no one knew it was me, there was alot of kids in there bulding forts and shit.
>be me
>loner
>beastiality
>the end
When I was thirteen/fourteen I went into a large foresty area in my city, Central Park, just out of curiosity. At the time I didn't know that the forest was a common meet up place for gay men (well known forest for that ever since the 50's apparently). When some late thirties guy came up to me, he asked if I could fuck him, and I agreed to it.
This went on for a full two years until he got arrested, and they used text messages as proof for the crime of two consenting humans.
Even today as a 27 year old, I'm still fine with it, because I looked like a young adult back in those days, but he was accused of pedophilia, which really irks me...
>>671817242
Sorry, used number pad, I meant I'm 24
>>671812047
he obviously didn't deserve that pussy if you knocked him out, you need a strong man who can overpower you
I was raped at the age of 14
>>671817587
Greentext, you know it...
>>671817198
greentext b
>>671817426
Haha
>>671811131
Didn't your momma tell you to be a good boy?, and to never play with guns?
>>671817667
>be me at 14
>fathers friend used to come over
>he was an okay guy
>when father is not around he would say 'weird' things to me
>hey anon your hair looks nice
>hey anon how are you
>one day my father goes to the store but his friend stays behind
>that's weird.avi
>fathers friend comes into my room without knocking
>closes it behind him
>me: "what are you doing?"
>he says nothing just pushes me to the bed on my back
>me: get off me fucking idiot
>takes his hard thing out of his pants after unzipping
continued...
>>671813759
Get Medical Help Immediately
>>671818215
M or F?
yesterday I walked home this girl and we started fooling around. We fucked yesterday, but she thinks suspects I have other girls so yesterday she refused to. After I have left her home, I called another girl, who lives two blocks away and invited her over. I was still hot and my pants were a bitstained from some cum because I came a little when fooling around with girl one. The girl two came over and I fucked her for half an hour. Then she left. After she left girl one called me and bitched about me not being serious with her and I jokingly kept making some stupid remarks to derails conversation. I've been doing this for two months now. Last year I had three this way and one day I fucked all three in a single day.
>>671813759
>>671818215
>he chokes me and says don't say anything or i will kill you
>spreads my legs with his body movement
>starts licking and kissing all over my ear and face
>rips my underwear off
>i start crying harder than i have ever cried
>i think he will kill me to erase evidence of this
>he put it inside of me and i cry too much
>after a few minutes he grunts loudly
>feel wet down there he came inside of me
>"if you say something i will kill you"
>never tell anyone and no one ever find out until now
>Be 10yr old anon
>Quite a retard to be honest
>Had weird poop fetish
>Take dump
>Grab log
>Took a sizeable bite from it
>Regret.jpg
>Snapped the fuck out of that fetish
>>671814594
That's so hot.
>>671818710
Thats.... not nice. Poor thing.
>>671818710
Nice story,
How show us where your daddys friend fucked you. LOL
>>671812047
Okay, but did you build a wall to block the doorway afterwards?
>>671818902
>Can has fetish at 10
>>671819175
The door was to heavy to open on your own
>>671812310
Oh anon you're so edgy. You sure are le special snowflake
>>671819235
Well not a fetish, i just didnt know what to call it
>>671819303
If you tried to do that to me in real life I would cripple you, nigger.
>>671819506
Wow your so edgy
>>671817198
Move to Missouri.
>can fuck sheep over 40Ib
From the ages of about 15-18 I masturbated in public toilets frequently and would always leave my cum on the stall door or wall. Why I did this I have no idea.
>>671819596
I would legit break bones. kek.
Another one
>Be me at some age
>Playing with little lizards called skinks
>Have idea
>Grab wire
>Stab wires through lizard and stand stand it up
>Burn it
Still to this day i have know idea why i done this
>>671819771
Fucking edgelord kill yourself before you become a serial killer.
I changed the browsers shortcut on my friend computer to run internet explorer instead
>>671808574
Het ergste van dit verhaal is wel je Engels, kan wel merken dat je je school niet hebt afgemaakt.
>>671819703
Almost cut myself on all your edge
>>671807990
I want of sureness of I am of communication of reality/life of:_"-\_ picture of galaxy of:_"\_ Milky Way _/"_:-_ of map of human/embassy/base/matter-ta-war of since/so/cause of human of living of military of nation of:_"\_ United States _/"_:-_ of:_{\_"\_ Randy Cramer live at the Triad Theater on Nov 14, 2015 Part 2 _/"_ of moment/time of:_"\_ 13:41/1:34:02 _/"_:-_ of text of link of:_"\_ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvumYlnLXy8 _/"_:-_/-"_:-_ since a human of named:_"\_ Randy Cramer _/"_:-_ of military of:_"\_ United States Marine Corps Special Section _/"_:-_ showed/communicated of the picture of galaxy of:_"\_ Milky Way _/"_:-_ since Mericans of living of an exigency/emergency of a technology of body muscle flexing caused of energies at metals of in/at of human since of energies sent/from of machines far of miles/kilometers of human of stimulated ta body muscle slackening/tensing; so I am of communication of spiel of technology of text of:_"---------\_
Three/3 communications/explanations/informations/texts of a technology:
1/One: body movement caused/since of energies sent from machines far of miles/kilometers;
and/or/an-other-communication of 2/Two: human of technology of machines...machines transmit/send energy...energy at/striked/hitting metals in human...metals moved/arranged...so/causing/thus...electricity so...body muscle movement of tensing/slackening;
and/or/an-other-communication of 3/Three: STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far/distant/not-close/no-nearness of miles.
_/---------"_:-_
I want ta be sure of communication of reality/life/living/languaging so I am of communication of text of:_"\_ I am of Daesh. _/"_:-_ and humans of:_"\_ Daesh _/"_:-_ of mercied/compassioned/want of babies of living of other-than/not/no/ain't harmed of body-movement/like-sensation.
>>671819921
Niet helemaal nee
>>671819901
Never had an urge to do anything like that again. And its been 20 or so years
>>671807990
I use to cum on the inside of my mum's panties when I was like 12. I thought she'd get pregnant, never did.
>>671819923
>Muh edge
Like I give the slightest fuck, bitch.
>>671808574
Lol autist
Neuken?
>Airsofting
>Sniper/Spotter
>Camping on a mountain spotting fags for my team
>Start to think about one of my friends moms
>She is super small, like 5 foot 4
>Nice solid C cup doe
>Get a hard one
>Unplug my headset and grab my phone
>Open secret stash of porn
>Fap for about 7 min
>Cum all over a tree
>Plug in headset and back to camping
>Find out that the game is over because my friends walked into an ambush
>>671819921
>>671808574
Dogs are fags anyway.
>>671812803
story?
>>671820169
Think i found a photo of you faggot
>being me
>on the beach
>a 5th year old girl step behind me
>*hear little bitch crying*
>Kick her face with my heel
>drop out her teeth
>Dontregrets.jpg
>>671820749
>>671820439
how old were you
>>671808574
>things that never happened
>>671808574
>>671812047
bullshit
>>671807990
When I was 13, I snuck into my friend's mom's room and put my cock on her mouth and came on her feet while she was sleeping. She never woke up and never found out it was me since there were 5 other teenage boys sleeping over as well. I don't think she was mad either cause she was treating us all very nicely the next morning.
>>671812047
How did you close the door on your own? Doors tend to be as heavy opening as closing.
>>671808574
thats fucked man, man should be allowed to kill animal and no be in trouble for it, just pay a fine for destruction of property, fucking dogs where do they think they are livin in?
plus the owners are partially responsible for not takin care of their fucking dogs, damn
my condolences to you man
>>671821120
It was sloped and wasn't opened all the way
>hooked up with pregnant girl
>lol not my kid
>fucked her every day for a week straight
>sometimes 2-3 times in a day
>nutted inside her every time, because why the fuck not?
>Saturday rolls around
>hit it again
>go home
>get text Sunday morning
>she says she's in the hospital, probably going to deliver the baby
>mfw
>never talk to her again
So I literally put a girl into labor with my dick. Apparently she went home from the hospital for a day because she "wasn't quite ready," but the day after that she had the kid.
But wait, there's more!
>fast forward a few months
>shooting the shit with my buddy
>show him all the pics and vids from the pregnant chick
>he thinks she's hot
>I give him her number
>go for it man, what do I care?
>my buddy hooks up with her
>more of a "relationship" due to her having the baby
>only lasted a month or two
So not only did I fuck & chuck a pregnant 18 year old AND put her into labor with my dick AND cut her off after she had the kid, I passed her off to my buddy too. Not my fault he got attached...
>>671821120
yeah plus female strenght it all sounds like bullshit
post characters with a green theme bread. e
>>671820749
Kill yourself.
>>671821413
Nah
>>671813244
well i rhink you still got a heart on the right place.
>>671821537
What are you? Arab?
>>671821689
he's certainly not japanese or he would be delighted to kill himself
> be out with 2 friends, guy and girl
> get wasted
> go back to guys place for more drinks
> guy friend is to drunk, goes to sleep
> chill with girl who is way to drunk
> do the gentleman thing and fuck her silly
> carry her to bedroom and lay her next to drunk guyfriend
> go home to sleep
> she wakes up and thinks he fucked her and not me
> massive freakout, guyfriend cant remember a thing
> believes he may have fucked her
> girl comes to me to tell what happened and i comfort her while she is crying
> i am the master deceiver
9/11
>>671821861
>Be me 5yo
>Playground
>Go to the sandbox
>Grab plastic spoon
>Raise arms
>Pop friends eye out
>>671821849
>>671821861
>>671821913
fucking kekd
>>671813759
I hope someone beats you to death after pulling some shit to the wrong person
>>671822057
Thanks faggot, but I actually did do 9/11 it's me bush
>>671807990
>be sophomore year of college
>luck out and get good dorm mate
>2 months into school
>one day asks if i'd be okay with his pet snake in our room
>nope.rar
>decide yes since i owed him from when i pissed on the floor drunk
>about a week the snake is there and he leaves for the weekend
>hey dude can you watch Kha (the snake)
>tell him yah i'd be fine
>wake up next morning and go about my day
>that evening notice kha isnt in terrerium
>OH FUCK, LOOSE SNAKE
>not in desk
>not in closet
>not under the bed
>well shit maybe he got in the hallway, oh well
>forget about kha and decide to just tell him the truth that he got out somehow
>go take shower before i go to bed
>blindly turn on water before getting in shower like normal
>step into shower
>the fuck is on the floor
>did i just step on a fucking dildo or some shit
>look down
>stepped heel first right onto kha's fucking head
>is kill
>panic and chop that fucker up with scissors and flush it
>told roommate he got out and crawled into the ceiling
>mfw he bought it
>mfw we now joke about kha who lives in the dorm ceilings
>mfw i killed a snake and now its a dorm legend
>>671807990
We had a cat who gave birth to a litter of kittens we couldnt afford to keep, nobody would take em and they kept coming back to the house when we tried letting em out, we couldnt throw them in a river or let them die slowly, so I went and dug 7 holes in the back yard and buried them neck deep and then mowed the lawn, I hosed down the yard and the mower afterward
>>671821849
>do the gentleman thing and fuck her silly
kek'd
>>671822192
That's fucked up... Kudos!
The most fucked up thing I did was fuck my cousin... I'm not even Tasmanian
>be me
>be asleep
>wake up before 6:30am
>mfw its monday
>waking up early on mondays
>>671822192
i would have paid to see that. i fucking hate cats
>>671821849
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBrWNbjw3RA
>smooth
>>671807990
I once gave out the correct $9 change all in quarters
>>671821252
If it was sloped and not open all the way how come it didn't close by itself?
>>671821270
How is any of this 'bad'?
People fuck eachother all the time you know?
Also dubs
>>671810546
Why didn't the guys in your unit help you?
Why did the translator ran off?
Where the fuck was the chief?
Motherfucker, there are others that also have responsibilities.
>>671822173
Kek
>>671822528
I fucked my cousin also. From sydney
>>671823937
Nah, from behind.
>>671810546
Soldiers aren't trained to subdue a civillian in any way other than to stab him?
i obviously won't tell the most fucked up thing for savty reasons..
>be student in a student dorm.
>went to bed early
>some party going on somewhere in the house next to me.
>wasn't invited i didn't knew them at this point because there are new ones every semester
>rage
>had that broken hotplate in my apartment it will kick out the circuit breaker if i turn it on. and they can't bring it back online if i let it on.
>still be able to leave my pc on because it was on a different circuit.
> they were mad and raging not knowing what happened
> knocking on my door and asked if i knew whats wrong
>pokerface
>show them my pc still on no problems for me
>get them to feel guilty in "waking me middle in the night"
>party is over... can sleep now
i used this trick for the whole year until i let it fixed
>>671823248
Rocks
>>671823995
You're a good guy or girl.
>>671823427
Because we basically used her as a fuck puppet, her being vulnerable as a new mother, and I failed to mention her own mom was dying of cancer at the time. She is now kill.
>>671821270
>>671824246
>literally doing her a favor and making her feel more attractive and needed by giving her sex and atttention
>yeah, man, so rad, we totally are alpha asshole chads
kek
>>671824199
Nah, worst thing you ever did is being a pathological liar
>>671824246
i never had the chance to fuck a late-preggo girl and would definateley do the same thing if i get the chance. well ok i would check on her after that to keep sure shes alright but i don't see any problems in what you did. you did her a favour i heard preggo girls need sex and its helping for giving birth
>>671824581
Sure!
>>671818424
Are you me?
>Juggled 3 girls for two years till I got caught and one stayed
Also I came close to a threeway but the two girls were bitter rivals after my heart and one was ok because she was willing to do almost anything for me to keep me happy but the other wasnt ok with it due to having to see the other chick she didnt like naked. Oh well.
I also passed another 3 way with a male friend and girl who liked both of us. I was the one who refused because I was self-conscious of my skinny body compared to his slightly above average one.
Now Im currently having trust issues with females with some paronia that each girl Im with is going behind my back and or cheating on me and Im puzzled to why this mindset suddenly occurred to me now and it sucks making me not enjoy relationships as much.
~Mr 8~
>>671818902
Yeah because you clearly somehow survived from eating your own feces and now lived to tell this story on /b/
>>671824246
You think you're the first to use girls for sex? If this is the worst thing you did you're a saint
>>671807990
was 14 and let my 10 and 12 year old step-nieces play with my junk when they thought I was sleeping because they just started playing with it and it felt good
And lots of other things.
>>671825217
damn that's fucking hot
>>671808574
Ze hadden je vast moeten zetten ziek wijf.
>>671811700
Good for you, you show him youre not weird by pissing on his porch.
Im not a serial killer, ask the last 3 people i killed
>>671811798
>you're a fucking faggot
>>671810294
Walgelijke hoer
put my bird in micro
>>671825635
Eigenlijk wel
>>671824719
>bitter rivals
>>671808979
winning is living
I told cousin that a chicks pussy smelled rotten and whole high school found out. She died of brain cancer soon after.
>>671817667
> be me
> be 14
> be raped
>>671813759
>carefully crafted scheme.
>>671825968
Wat is dat nou voor een reactie om iets te vermoorden wat iets doet dat je niet aanstaat? Reactie van n psychopaat.
>>671826120
Zoals ik zei ik wist niet precies waarom ik het deed
>>671822173
I lold so hard I farted assburgers!
>>671825635
Waarvoor? Er staat geen straf op het posten van verzonnen verhalen op 4chan
>>671813257
Ror
>>671808574
Bump
>>671825387
You know what also is hot? The big black dick inside your ass while you're in the prison showers.
I caught my 14 year old stepsister in law checking out a stallion's dick, and pressured her into a blowjob. Ended up 69 in her and later fucked her in the ass. Super religious farmgirl didnt want to lose her virginity before marriage. Chick was screwed up, but swallowed cum like a champ.
Found out my 14 year old sister in law (wifes biological sister) was in to chicks, namely her stepsister. Used religion to tell her that bisexuality and gayness was a sin, and that she had to fuck me to prove she was in to men, or she'd go to hell and i'd tell her abusive father.
Tightest pussy i ever fucked. Made her and stepsis in law rugmunch while i fucked stepsis in the ass.
Ended up watching stepsis jerk off the horse while sis in law sucked my cock. Stepsis got caught naked in horse barn, sent back to live with her dad. Sis in law is ultra conservative housewife now.
> fucking polygamous cult girls are freaks
>took a 15 year old girl to a hotel because she wanted to lose her virginity.
>I was 22
>she tells me she just has to know about herself
>We do it for ten minutes before she has to stop
>She breaks out crying hysterically. I ask her what's wrong
>Turns out her older brother raped her when she was 2. She didn't know about it until recently.
>She had to know if she was a virgin and discovered that all her life she wasn't.
>She cried endlessly.
>I slipped out quietly
>Fucked up part of the story is that we were 50 miles from her house and I left her there.
>best friend has hot sister
>solid 8/10
>get together with her
>fast forward 6 years
>not together with her anymore, still friendship with best friend
>her hot mom is messaging me
>sending some nudes
>friend finds out
>ends friendship
>i fuck their mother
>end
>>671824639
Yeah Its supposedly a healthy thing to do. You have to fuck them in the missionary position by the 3rd trimester. I got to fuck a preggo chick that I knocked up. Im free to see other woman If I want or can stay with her but idk I like the freedom I have of fucking around.
>>671827423
i fucked my wife until her third trimester each time. Great induction for labor. She preferred doggystyle, and couldn't suck dick due to a monster gag reflex.
in like 3rd grade whenever I would take a shit I would stick my fingers up my asshole and feel the turd before it came out
>>671825986
Eh bitter rivals in just the sense they were trying to one up the other by who can please me more? It was weird. Like who can suck dick better. None were that good and one of them kinda unintentionally used teeth so I had to tell her to stop and practice. My only regret is I lost pics of me taking a pic of myself screwing the girls I have had over the years because I lost the password and forgot the name of my private photobucket account so I have nudes of all these girls and me forever locked in some private account I can no longer get into :(
>>671825920
>micro
You mean microwave? Shiiiet
>>671807990
Tried having friends for far too long.
>giving up on relationships of all kinds and realizing I have only a short lonely time left on this gay earth-masterrace
>>671826066
Holy shit! Kekd
i won't go into detail, but it involves a 14-yr-old boy.
>>671810546
you couldn't tell he was a tard?
>>671808574
Is this the new "mom's friend tried to finger me in car"
>>671827224
Dick move anon
>>671827242
Lol'd
>>671828662
When it wears off though... jeez. Wife is a cunt now. Had an affair 7 years ago with a nigger that I just found out about around a year ago.
Guess she was in to beastiality too. Should have made her fuck the horse.
Smashed a kids headlight for reving their autistic engine at me.
>>671813759
Fucked up but the klansman wallpaper thing is hilarious
>Have a combination of PTSD and bi-polar
>when i get bad I'm real bad
>start feeling like I have infestation of massive worms in arse, in brain, gonna control my body soon
>Can't wait for doctor so shit in a plastic bag
>dump it in the garden for tomorrow
>forget entirely all about it
>Having a cigarette a few weeks later and find a bag with shit in it
>Convinced my bag of shit must have blown into neighbours yard, so this is their revenge bag of shit
>Take another shit in another bag and lob them both into neighbours yard
>shouting obscenities as I do so guy comes to the back door
>Looks at bags, confused face
>takes them inside with him
>never spoken of again
>mfw I am the nutter next door
>>671824719
yeah I know exactly what you're talking about. I never trusted a single girl I was with. Practically every coffee/business trip with a male was cheating in my eyes or at least him trying to get into her panties. I am still like this. I will never change. Also I am rarely wrong about my paranoias too. It's just the way this world works
>>671829565
Women being women is why
>>671811535
Mayo is God's jizz. It's the best ingredient in a turkey sandwich.
>be me 41
>dau jut turned 19
>turned on by her for years
>always finding way to satisfy my sick needs
>passing by bent down dau looking for something means, "accidental" rubbing cock on her ass check
>huging her means jently feeling her ass
>she goes with friends on beach,i jer in my car looking from far away
>one time whole family came back from friends son birthday party
>i got really drunk, wife and dau not so much
>get "great idea"
>IT COULD ACTUALLY WORK
>before hitting the bed we as a family watch tv and talk about the party
>still relaxing in our suits
>i ask waifu to go hit the shower and change first i will stay a lil while
>by that time go to our room
>find wifes sleeping pill
>come back
>make juice for me and my dau like every good papa
>slip the pill
>we watch tv little more
>time passes
>we all changed ready for bed now
>i feel sick gotta go refresh myself in bath
>waifu said ok. not really interested and tired
>i wait much longer
>now wife prob asleep
>slowly walk in dau room
>chek if pill did the work
>pull it out and start jerking close to her bed just watching her
>get a little cocky and start touching her face
>not that bold to continue more down ard but felt her tits through the covers and her shirt
>instant adrenaline rush
>start touching her luscious lips that i like so much
>try inserting finger but her jaw hold too tight
>the motion of my finger inside her moist lips gives me all the badest ideas in the head
>jerking it like crazy
>get closer with my cock
>so close to her face
>tip of my cock touches her lips many times
>i cum like a pro
>just a sec of the moment "what ive done"
>wipe it with the shirt
>clean the lips
>no harm done
>go to bed
>cant sleep now
>IT DID ACTUALLY WORK
>Be in school
>Alot of friends steal shit
>Phones and computers
>Friends need money
>I need money
>They don't know how to make money
>Let me sell stolen shit
>Never had to steal anything
>Had several people that stole stuff and gave it to me
>Sell it all make good money.
>Split 70% to me every time
>Made alot of money close to 10k
>We are all arrested
>every stfu
>One guy talk
>Guy that bought a phone talk
>Get a small ticket.
>Stop doing stupid things like that, was lucky.
>>671823994
no and they aren't supposed to in the first place.
A soldier is trained to be a proper cog in a larger body that exists to wage war be it as the defending force or the attacking force, depending on hist country projection. Subduing civilians in a non lethal manner is what cops exist for, ofc there are no cops in a war zone, but that's just a fuck you,
>>671814492
>regularly jerk off into dirty panties of 17 year old step daughter. Cum buckets and put back in hamper.
>>671829907
I use it on ham or turkey. Tastes heavenly
>>671830131
Wut
>>671823994
Pretty much, yeah. Soldiers exist to kill enemies. You are thinking of police. 90% of the problems we are having with hyperviolent cops in the US is the stream of vets becoming cops and acting like an occupying force. The ramp up of violent culture, and the hypermacho violence of "kill em all" soldier culture gradually mixing with cop culture has ledd to a bunch of tryhard faggots (compensating douches who wish they were soldiers, or soldiers who can't let that shit go) acting like they are on patrol in Iraq, often strapped like they are, too.
They then get mad when everyone isnt sucking their dick. For reference, at no time in history in the US has it been safer to be a cop. More bus drivers, garbagemen, and gas station workers are killed on the job. Same goes for soldiers. But fuck you if you point it out, these are "heros" we are talking about.
>>671830347
Couldn't just have knocked him out or something? Seems like a retarded move to stab him. Could have stabbed him in the leg at least, or bullet in the foot
>>671830925
Don't get your panties all in a bunch with that shit, i'm not going to read it.
Bottom line is he must be a mongoloid if he can't knock out a FUCKING RETARD
Farted when my gf was giving me a rimjob (and it took really fucking long to convince her)
>be 17
>at a m8s party
>some 5 foot nothing qt starts flirting with me
>somehow we end up shotting a bottle of vodka between ourselves
>sort of competition who can last or some shit
>be a 6'4 giant man, still get drunk as fucking fuck
>later on in the night she disappears, don't notice because drunk
>chilling in the spa drunk as fuck
>look up at some point
>I'm alone sitting in the spa and it's like past midnight
>everyone must have gone to bed
>stumble through the house to the spare room
>there's two couches in the room
>notice someone sleeping on one of them
>it's that drunk bitch
>passed out
>close the door and I'm diamonds already
>she's in a bikini sleeping in the fetal position with her knees up
>too awkward to move her
>move the bottom of her panties to the side
>shove my face down there and eat her pussy for a bit
>pull out my dick
>couldn't comfortably open her legs
>fully would have raped her if I could've, didn't even hesitate or think of the implications of it because drunk
>fuck it and crash on the other couch and sleep
>next morning later in the day I develop a cold sore on my lip
>never had one since and I'm now 26
>drinking with little cousin
>sitting on the couch
>im sitting up she has her legs propped on my lap
>im good and liquored up at this point
>so is she
>casually propped my elbow right square on her crotch
>would wiggle it to see if she had a negative reaction
>she seemed to not mind
>over the course of a movie i sad their and massaged her crotch with my elbow
>she falls asleep from alcohol
>i wip it out and just sort of rub it against her leg
>because drunk and stupid
>decide fuck it
>lift her pajama waist line with one hand
>slip other hand inside
>gigantic full bush
>slip a finger between lips
>she was actually fucking soaking wet
>withdraw hand because too nervous
>stand up beside her
>fap at speed of mach 2
>cum goes flying in all directions
>her hair and face and shirt and chest
>that instant regret
>run away to the bathroom
>drink more whiskey to deal with this
>feel like a disgusting pig
>full of regret
>never again
I honestly dont know how you guys enjoy that shit so much, once the hornyness wears off i felt terrible, i guess some of us just have no conscience.
I have a small cp collection on a mini sd card which I use to fap with if normal porn gets too boring. It's completely normal for me now, I've been fapping to cp since 16 as well as normal porn.
>>671812310
tres edgy
i nearly cut myself while reading this
>>671825105
bait?
>>671808574
you should dump some tits to make up for that. don't forget timestamp
>>671818904
>>671819128
what's up with this faggotry in here?
>>671808574
leuk bedacht, maar nee
>>671832328
kill yourself
