Alright /b/tards, it's that time of day again. What's
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Alright /b/tards, it's that time of day again.
What's your secret?
already talked about it but got kinda coerced by a guy to give him a blowjob at a movie theater and i actually really loved doing it but he moved away later that week and i never did anything again
>>675381304
I paid for winrar
I work in a hotel.
There was this gorgeous woman who showed up with her husband for her honeymoon. I made her reservation over the phone months prior and took special care to make sure her reservation was exactly how she planned it. Before my shift was over, I made a key for the room next to hers.
After she checked in and I got off my shift, I went up to the floor where her room was and could hear her loudly getting fucked outside of it. I snuck into the room next to hers and masturbated while I listened to her getting fucked like an animal. I later cleaned myself up and left.
I found out the next day she left a positive review to management with my name on it for being so helpful.
I have tons of weird secrets. I'm a loner and derive genuine enjoyment from strange, novel situations.
>>675381483
I remember that. Thanks for sharing ;)
>>675381906
you're welcome :$
I look at craigslist casual encounters to see how many horny people are around me. One day I want to meet up with another one of those horny people, but I'm afraid of they're fake, or will try to murder me.
>>675381304
Asked /b/ how to dispose of a body.. they suggested fire. It works. lol.
>>675382693
yea sounds sketchy without facetiming or meeting first, but that defeats the purpose of casual encounters i suppose
I once ran over a man with my car. He died and i was never caught.
When I was younger, I used to torture grasshoppers. I devised tons of intricate ways to torture and kill them.
For example, sometimes I would take little cardboard boxes that candies came in (like milkduds) put the grasshopper inside, and run pins through it - impaling the grasshopper awkwardly inside.
I'm into some pretty fucked up animu porn and my girlfriend doesn't know about it. Also, casually a furry fuck. What can I say? My life isn't exciting. Pic related.
>>675382956
Neat. I was drunk in the back a car.. I know what we did that fall.. (Reference to the last summer bs.)
>>675382693
I've met them before.
It's really nerve-wracking the first time you do it, but it really makes sense that you're more likely to get your dick wet than get murdered. I've met three different people on it and it always ended with casual sex.
>>675382997
Dude I did shit like this with stinkbugs. They're fucking tiny armored terrors.
i got fingered by my dads pal in the back of a station wagon
>>675381483
>coerced
you mean you said yes you idiot
>>675383198
I came up with hundreds of ways to kill them.
>>675383195
Chicks or dudes? Or groups?
>>675383259
Actually I was almost raped.
Desperately wishing that I could fuck either/both of my step daughters... Face fucking would be one option!
>>675383379
Ever get the chance to do stuff with fire? I bet the little fuckers crackle.
>>675383383
Always groups, but I'm straight. I'd only fuck the girls. No interest in gay shit.
>>675381304
I have a crush on a girl who works at a nursery I deliver to. Her name is Erika.
>>675383497
You SICK FUCK. You have raped them in your heart you are just as guilty as if you had raped them. Well you did/do.
>>675383524
Yes. I actually found if you burn them a bit, then bury them, ants will find them very quickly (the scent is more strong, I'm supposing) and will tear them apart alive underground.
When you burn a grasshopper, it's exoskeleton turns a deep red. If you hold it under the flame long enough, it of course turns black. Oddly enough, it smells exactly like burning human flesh (I was in the army).
Im actually in love with her
I go to an Asian massage place for hand jobs. Pic related. Happened yesterday.
Everyond thinks my girlfriend and I are prudes but in reality we're heavily into bdsm. Name something and chances are we've done it.
>>675383796
We get a bunch of dead ones in the fields around here during the Summer. Might have to try this. Didn't think they'd turn red ( or smell like burning human flesh holy shit? )
What does burning human flesh SMELL like?
Scoliosis hear voices and shit like see images of myself killing people for no reason. I held a little baby yesterday and heard voices telling me to kill it. They told me to drop it or twist it's neck. It's only 2 days old. They won't miss it I was told. I didn't do any of that and won't. I would never hurt a baby. Despite any voices telling me to. And I'll never tell anyone about them either. For the baby is related to me.
>>675383408
no, if you were, you wouldn't have to qualify it with stupid buzzwords and you would have just said "raped"
I have always thought I was meant to be a woman, but have never had the courage to bring it up to anyone, even any of my therapists. I'm just too afraid of having to tell my parents. I'm 24 and have been living on my own for years but still am afraid of their reaction.
>>675383847
happy tugs?
>>675383931
Nice! My favorite kink!
Get the chance to fool around with fuck machines yet? They're a fucking -delight-.
>>675383198
>>675382997
Mine was ants.
Dust off to make ice ant statues.
Drowning in pitch.
Sail boats made of leaves.
Other ways.
Mostly i'd have arenas where I'd convinces the biggest to fight eachother. Then torture the ones that wouldn't fight, hot plates and what not.
I have a porn collection that my girlfriend doesn't know about. It contains nude pics of girls I know that other dudes have given me, and of course all the ones ive collected over the years. It also contains about 10 years of porn ive collected myself. Probably 40 gigs of it is webcam stuff that I capped myself, so you know what that means. I wouldn't just be dumped, i'd end up in jail.
I've been considering deleting it for a long time but I just can't. It's like ten years of work, bros.
Sometimes I get really horny like when she's on her period, and I run a loop of some girl on a webcam who eventually gets naked and find old guys to fuck with. I think its hot as fuck when old dudes fap to chicks that are much younger. I don't know why.
>>675384103
Adam?
>>675384225
I've heard they make popping noises if you burn them.
>>675381304
I wish I could be a girl, I'm depressed as fuck since I was 15. lel
>>675384058
I mean, I don't do things like this anymore. I had a violent childhood I suppose so I'm not encouraging you to do this.
Human flesh has a weird smell. It's like burning hair.
My mother is a Jew. By their laws, so am I. This must be handled with the utmost discretion. I refuse to repeat the bullshit that comes with this condition.
>>675383497
Ages?
>>675384179
Yeah, for 65 bucks I get a great massage and massive orgasm. Good times
>>675383228
Your age at the time?
vanesa maldona
>>675384225
Glad to see I'm not the only one.
>>675384490
>bullshit that comes with this condition
explain plz
I am a pathological liar. Just small things that no one would think to question.
>>675383528
Same. I'm not opposed to double or even triple teaming a hot enough chick.
>>675384478
Don't worry, friendo. Not gonna be doin' this to the live ones soon. But a dead bug is a dead bug, so why not?
Huh. Thanks for the enlightenment!
>>675384213
Haven't yet but I would love to put her in one.
>>675379881
>be me, 14-16
>staying at cousins crib for weeknd
>day goes great, play games, swim, etc
>sleep
>fast forward next day
>i wake up early cause i need a blanket since its freezing
>go to the living room closet to get one
>on my way i pass my aunts room
>look inside since i never really seen it
>i go inside to get a better look around
>see my auntie still sleeping
>curiosity strikes
>i wonder what my aunt uses to sleep
>flip her covers gently over her legs to reveal
>GOT DAMN!!
>my aunts big ass is right there in red booty shorts
>heartbeatincreases
>im diamonds right now
>slowly creep around her bed to look at booty
>i go outside quickly to see if anybody woke up yet
>nope im safe
>go back to aunts room
>i pull my diamond dick out and begin fapping
>its one of those faps where your saliva is so thick that its kinda loud when you stroke it
>gotta do it slowly
>butfeelsverygood
>i step it up and move towards her face
>pretending to slap her ass
>fuck best fap thus far
>hear the door open
>i panic and pull my shorts back up
>i turn around and see my younger cousin
>he looks at me
>"shit my bad dude"
>me "oh no i was just looking for a blanket but i found it"
>........
>..........
>"oh ok"
>"yeeeaaaaaa"
>.......
>"you gonna swim today"
me and my cousin never spoke of that day after that. idk if he actually saw and was just pretending he didn't. he's never mentioned it. but i'm 99% positive he saw me and knew what i was doing.
I have non. Just untold stories which would bore the shit out of everyone.
>>675384490 It's ok. I really don't like Jewish culture either. Go for it, be YOU.
>>675383931
sounding with water sports and fisting ALL AT THE SAME TIME
>>675384671
Then Craigslist is your friend. Just wear a condom, but know that you're still at risk for STIs like Genital Warts (which can affect the pelvic region outside of where the condom covers).
>>675384741
Have fun with that! My girl hooked me up to one ( we're in lesbians for reference ) and the thing literally had me drooling by the time I was done.
>>675381304
epic bread
>>675383085
>>675383931
bloodplay, cutting
I work with kids at a daycare/summer camp, and all the councilors and kids love me cause I'm always smiling and joking, but in reality I think about killing myself almost everyday.
>>675382693
i do that a lot too. even though i have a gf. i just wanna meet up with a horny slut with some big tits. haven't found a decent one yet...
>>675384861
then tell them anon, I'll listen
Bulshit, I call bulshit- every single one.
>>675383053
Could be worse. Could be into vore. Good luck explaining that one to people. I don't even know why I am, and I'm afraid if I get too drunk with it'll slip out.
I cum in my wife's shampoo once a week.
I love seeing her wash her hair with it.
>>675381304
>be me huge douche bag
>like fuckin with the people im with overnight
>over with friends
>get idea
>go to bath room
>"vanilla soap"
>dump it out, jizz inside
>typically he would expect me to do something jizz related
>hatch scheme
>eviljew.jpeg
>have fancy hair gel
>night
>wakemeupinside.png
>friend isnt awake
>am awake
>put some hair gel on his face and use some off my head hair and pretend to do the lame normie gorilla face prank
>wakehimupinside.jpeg
>laugh and tell him a gorilla mask him (worth pretending to be a normie)
>tell him to wash his face
>uses "vanilla hand soap"
>kekles
>he never suspected such a thing
>never found out
>mfw im a criminal mastermind
>>675385422
Same here. I even peruse fetlife looking for fun sex parties in the area. I'm near a city so there's a decent amount. My gf wouldn't be into it though, so....fuck
>>675385525
I don't mind a little light vore here and there, but I feel you dude. It's my light guro fixation that concerns me. >:0c Not sure if healthy to fap to eye sockets getting skullfucked.
I was so horny today that I couldn't resist letting the dog lick me off. Of course I hated myself afterwards..
>>675384421
oh shit
>>675385566
I gotta try this one..
>>675385598
I fuckin' lol'd.
>>675385433
You would just fall asleep if I would find something to tell you. It's good to know that someone is ready to listen. Maybe you should listen to another Anon who really needs someone who he can tell his secrets or stories. Not me but someone who deserves it. :)
>>675385893
I mean honestly guys, after you do it one or two times, it stops being that fun. It's just like anything else.
It's not hard to get casual sex - especially when you live in a world of craigslist and fetlife and Tinder and swinglife or whatever else goes on these days.
I've been to like 3 orgies in the past three months. It's fun, especially the first time, but it gets old. The idea of it is more exciting than actually doing it.
I was raped by friend of mine once. I guess it was "date rape" but I blame myself for being in a bathing suit around a guy with a crush on me and not fighting more. I've never told anyone because of how disgusting and rampant feminists have made victim culture.
>>675386218
right lmao, theres even boards on 4chan for it
>>675386245
That's quiet shocking. I honestly got goosebumps running all over my arms.
>>675381888
good for you anon... shows you have ambition.. had a plan and followed through... cheers!
>>675384646
Way back in and before high school, I made the mistake of thinking that it wouldn't matter. By the time I was 11 or 12, everyone knew that I was a Jew. What's more, since the town was a very small one in a flyover state, they knew that my brother and I were the only ones in the school district. At a certain point in high school, my friends got more into talking shit on people. Again, it was a very low population area, and since my friend to this day has an odd natural charisma, it continued without incident. Just boys being boys. As it will happen, the lens turned to me in time. The only difference was, I had something in me that was just my own. It was something that I couldn't change, that I couldn't hide from, that I didn't think I needed to hide from. Where they would banter with others, they would go farther with me. Emulating the whims of the charismatic group leader, the others joined in, but lacking wit, they compensated with offense. A few weeks in and I couldn't walk down the hallway without hearing something shouted at me by my friends. The one that sticks out in particular was "hey jew, go crawl in my oven". There was a time when I heard that five days a week, every week, for months. Nothing could be done. I was in a bind, because they were my best, closest, and only friends. Had I reported them, they would have been stopped. That's not true though. They would have been interrupted. All it would change is that the volume would be lower and the tone more hateful than it already was. I would have been a traitor. I would have been alone. I would still be a filthy Jew. No, that wasn't an option. I took it. I cried in secret. I rolled along. I occasionally tried to show them that it hurt. This meant nothing to them. They were good kids, they just got swept away in the joke. Eventually I lost my identity and I lost my name. I became "jew" on good days and "dirty jew" on every other day. The jokes that made them laugh were ones that derided (cont.)
I like to go to raves and sell people mdma cut with fentanyl for fun
>>675384662
Same. I also have explosive anger issues stemming from what I can only assume are feelings of vulnerability/stress. I've always considered myself to be a kind of likeable but still piece of shit person (to my core). I use people without meaning to. I guess my secret would be that I have no self control despite coming across otherwise. I worry that I'm dangerous, particularly to my wife. Slightly related, can definitely relate to the bug torturers.
>>675386076
I've done it to damn near anything white and creamy.
Conditioner - doesn't mix as well
Lotion - she knew about this one. Used it once all over her body to get me horny. Then threw the bottle away.
Body wash - works best but hers is green now
Face wash - only done it once.
I also use to piss in bottles of body spray that belonged to my cousin. If always comment on "how good the spray smelled". She just used it more.
>>675383259
i did say yes, i just didnt go there thinking i would do that kind of thing, i was younger than him and he kind of talked me into thinking it was normal for that kind of thing to happen, i was young and stupid i know that
also i have no idea who that dumbass is>>675383408
>>675386218
Still, I'd like to try it out. I have a pretty high libido, so throwing in kinks like this every now and then would be like a boozehound going on a blackout bender every few months.
I'm more afraid of STDs than anything. LTRs are great in that I can fuck the hell out of my gf and not worry a thing about catching anything.
>>675384973
I would love too. I doubt I'll find one I can afford though.
>>675384876
>sounding
No
>watersports
Every time we shower now.
>Fisting
Vaginal and got close to anal too. No go though.
>>675385067
Yes. She's into me making her bleed. She prefers when I use my teeth but it weirds me out taking that hard of a bit of person.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>>675386218
my areas just full of over weight gorillas, elderly women (40+), and fakes
>>675382726
No fire leaves residue and all sorts of evidence behind. If anyone ever wants to find the body/ find out who did it then you are fucked.
Get a barrel or oil drum. Fill with hydrochloric acid and other similar shit. Burn corpse. Put corpse in there. Hide well for few weeks. Come back (with face mask) drain the corpse soup into a river or something that will wash it a a long way away. Melt or crush barrel, bury remains of barrel 10ft deep. Kill wild animal, let wildlife feed on it for a bit so it looks natural. Bury animal corpse 6ft deep on dame spot as barrel remains. Kill nother animal and leave its corpse on top of ground for animals to eat.
Incinerate clothes if you have them (ones you wore and victims) take ashes, pour into protein powder bottle or somethi g else powdery. Put that in bin. Done.
I am addicted to dirt and grime. Stuff that has been untouched for decades really intrigues me, I visited a old castle last month and I immediately kicked one of the corners on a room as soon as no one was looking. I have a fetish where I want to time travel to ancient Rome and lock roads. Imagine the dirt and the dust from all the people!! Dirt from another time
>>675382693
Related story:
I was 19, this was summer time a few years ago. I had just broken up with my very kinky girlfriend. After a few weeks of no sex I literally needed something, so I posted a CL ad.
About 2 weeks later, a pregnant latina, decently cute (7/10) emails me, She's mid 30s, we swap some pics, and I agree to meet her at a motel for a quick fuck after work one friday.
So I get to the motel, and wait in the parking lot. She's like 20 mins late, but she does show. I tell her I'm gonna pay for the room, and so I go the office while she waits by my car.
I figured the room would be like 50 bucks, but I'm sure that bitch scammed me that there we no single beds left, and It was nearly $100. I was pissed but I paid cuz I was horny. Then the lady at the counter tells me "No parties, if you throw a party, I'm calling the cops." Probably because she saw on my license that I lived like 5 miles away.
So we get into the room, I'm so nervous, now I've somehow convinced myself this girl has an STD. So I ask her. She's like "nah" not very convincingly but I was horny and had condoms anyway so we continue.
She immediately drops her dress after I shut the door and starts kissing me. I really dont like kissing so I kind of move my face and start to undress, then she pushed me onto the bed and puts her tits in my face.
It's going pretty well for a CL hookup. Until I shoved my dick into her. Holy mother fuck, her pussy was so tight I literally couldn't prevent it. I came in like 10 seconds.
So for like a minute I'm trying to pretend like I'm still good, when suddenly I'm like "I'm sorry, I can't do this, it just doesn't feel right. I'm sorry for wasting your time."
To my surprise she's totally cool. We talked on the bed for a few minutes, and then got dressed, and hugged good bye. It was strange but not unpleasant.
She emailed me later that day thanking me for seeing her, and told me I "was a sweet guy."
Really strange, but good experience.
>>675384646
>>675386905
(cont.)
myself so I made them. Words can wound when propelled forcefully, but even a great man can only speak meekly through a veil of laughter. I pushed through. I got funnier. I strove for higher. I strove to be something more than just a filthy jew. By the time of my graduation, I had become somewhat of a folk hero among my peers and the underclassmen. I had mostly thrown off the shackles (shekels [kek]) of my blood and overcome. Now in uni, only a precious few from my old high school know of this. I tell no one else. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that it happened to me. It has made a stronger person. It has made me a better person. Man cannot grow without some adversity. However, I have had my fill of that particular adversity, and I WILL NOT go back. My friends remain. My accomplishments remain. The curse of my blood is but a whisper in the back of their minds, but I remember it too clearly. It is something that I can never forget. I do not want to. To do so, I would have to forget an essential part of what makes me who I am today.
>>675388148
Not kick, lick and same for lock
I crept into my aunt's room once when she was on sleeping pills and messed around with her. Fucked her. She was half-awake and called me by her son's name.
>>675386635
Again, I have a lifetime of strange stories like this.
When I was younger, I lived in an apartment and some photogenic young couple moved in down the hall. This girl was a solid nine, and they often had loud drunken sex. I could just barely hear it if I was standing in the hallway with my door open, but I didn't want to stand in there whacking myself off in front of everybody (although I risked it once or twice).
I wound up getting a spy listening device ( this is the exact model - apparently it's discontinued: tinyurl(d0t)com/gpejbcc ). I found an old shoebox and taped the device inside. I cut a hole in the far end of it so that the mic would pick up well, but was set far back enough from the hole so that it wouldn't be seen. I then poked a smaller hole in the opposite side of the box to run the headphone wire through. I set it on the outside of my door and put the box close enough to the door that the wires wouldn't be seen. I even put a note on it that said "Shawn" so it would look inconspicuous.
I got to listen to them fucking clear as day (as if I was in the room) and masturbated in the privacy of my own room. Pic related.
>>675387762
>fentanyl
ok... sounds like you might have put some thought into that answer.... thanks, i think
>>675388168
>Made cum, job done
Sounds not too bad, at least you decreased the amt of contact time w/ her puss in case she had something..like some kind of 5 second rule for the vaj.
>>675388369
Imagine if you out that much effort into working out and building social skills... you could be the one fucking th 9/10 bitch and not the one masterbating through a shoebox microphone
>>675388720
Nah it wasn't too bad, and I never got anything from her, although I worried about it for a while.
I think that I might have gender dysphoria. It is my worst, most guarded secret. I really, really hope these feelings are some sort of long phase and I'll get over it.
>>675387710
Go to a neighboring city and get a hotel on a Friday night. You'll find someone.
Again, just be safe.
>>675388956
Symptoms? I'm genuinely curious, tap us into the mind of one of society's most protected mental illnesses.
>>675384414
You don't fuck your girl on her period? You fucking faggot
> drinking with my 3 years girlfriend
> drunk bitch bitching all over everything
> bitch starts screaming n shit on my car
> punch her on the face really hard
> knock her down a few secs
> great hit, my best ever
> crazy blood coming out
> we leave so nobody see her
> convinced her to say she had an accident
> clearly a punch
> wait till she gets better
> dump her, i was gonna do so anyway
> she aborted twice and I wasn't with her the second time
> the second time was after the punch
> it's kind of a bittersweet memory but sweeter
> dontcare.png
>>675381304
>What's your secret?
I have a lot
1. I stalked the shit out of a hot teacher. Obscene phone calls to even visiting her house. She didn't deserve it.
2. I think 3 or 4 million Jews died in the Holocaust™. That's not the secret... the secret is that I think they had it coming.
3. I kicked the shit out of a kid for minor provocation and gave him PTSD. That's not the secret. Secret is I giggle about it sometimes.
>>675389320
This. I understand not wanting to go in a bloody hole but her ass and mouth should at least still be available to you.
>>675389404
He said secrets. Everyone you know probably knows you as "That edgy tryhard kid who smells like cat piss"
>>675388349
Sounds like SHE's the one with a secret, anon.
Think I'm kinda of psycho, tried to kill someone once then I recover the 'sanity' I stopped and started crying
I've been regularly sucking my boss' cock for that past year !
>>675389958
I've been tricking one of my employees into sucking my cock over the past year! I told her that she gets a raise for it, but she's one of the lowest paid people in the company!
most of my friends think i get laid all the time... truth is lately i just play the game, i am above average looking, quick witted, always get the girls to laugh and open up....reach a certain point and then just back down and enjoy going back to my house alone and sleeping... i do not really understand why i started doing this.
>>675389761
Maybe. Who knows.
>>675389206
It's pretty much all in my head. I feel very uncomfortable and at times disgusted with my body just because it's got tits. Which is fucking stupid. I live in a first world country, so its not like I'm 'opressed' or anything for being a woman. I don't know. I can't talk about this without sounding like a tumblrina. I really just don't like having a female body , it feels completely alien and gross to me, and sometimes I feel like having a male body+chracteristics would be better. Like I said, I really hope it's just a phase.
>2013
>Survive the Mayan apocalypse
>New Years Eve Party part 2 on 1/1/13
>Hanging with my buddy Mike Dewtha
>Both brownout drunk as fuck doing shots on Mike's roof with a few chicks we know and everyone who didn't go home from the night before
>Chink friend we call Pots-n-Pans dares Mike to jump off the roof into this kiddy pool we had filled with jungle juice
>Mike finishes his drink, takes a drag of my cig, and starts to walk toward the edge of the roof
>The fucking guy slips immediately and topples head first into the kiddy pool, bashing his nose
>Jungle juice is ruined by his blood
>Pots-n-Pans looks down at mike waiting for him to respond while shouting: "Everybody, Dootha die"
>"No...sore" says Mike from below.
>>675390961
The fact that you called it "stupid" lets me think that you're not fully bought into Tumblrinaism, so I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that you at least recognize this is fucked up shit.
Sucks dude, I can't pretend to know what that feels like. Definitely wait it out before doing anything rash.
>>675389717
>He said secrets. Everyone you know probably knows you as "That edgy tryhard kid who smells like cat piss"
No, OP said secret.
No, not edgy, they know me as the nice quiet guy.
I did stalk the teacher. Not proud of it.
I do think Jews provoke their own persecutions. All of Europe wanted them out. The brits of the Channel Islands turned in Jews to the Germans.
I did kick the shit out of a kid and he showed symptoms of PTSD. I laugh because he was a piece of shit who had it coming.
Go kill yourself with all your counter-edginess you fuck.
>>675389320
What the fuck did you just say about me you red-dicked fucking tampon jammer? No, i don't ride the crimson tide, because I have a sense of respect for myself and I don't think being having my schlong smeared in foul-smelling blood is conducive to the love-making process. Youre a fucking deviant nigger.
>>675391394
I hope this isn't sincere, because pussies in general are fucking gross. I've eaten washed asshole and tongued plenty of twat. Sticking your dick in a bloody pussy is nothing. Man the fuck up, you fag.
>>675391394
Then use her ass.
My younger sister and I had drunk sex a couple of times. We were always heavily joking sexual and stuff, because we grew up in Italy as Army kids, so we were really around each other mostly.. Neither of us regret it and we have pretty normal lives despite both of us being married. Even now she will occasionally flash me when the family isn't looking and I'll feel her up a bit.. It's a weird dynamic, but I don't really hate it.
>>675391261
It is fucked up, I agree with you. Like jfc if all I wanted was a dick, thats cool, strapons exist, but noooo its the whole damn body I'm in that some weird part of my mind just hates. I don't ever plan on acting on these feelings though.
>>675390961
>Like I said, I really hope it's just a phase.
It likely is.
The large majority of trannies outgrow it.
Most men who claim they are women -- think fuckwit Jenner -- have autogynophilia, which is an extreme version of the cross-dressing or sissification fetishes.
You'll get over your phase. It sounds like you're uncomfortable with yourself and are just imagining that men are more comfortalbe with their bodies than women (maybe we are).
But just imagine how uncomfortable you'd feel with a body that genuinely isn't your own, will not fool anyone into thinking that your'e actually male, and will lose sensitivity and sexual attractiveness.
After my wife goes to work I fuck our daughter in our bed.
Like looking on daughter phone bf is white but seen a few black dues she records sucking
I'm a bitch
>>675392323
Her age
I forced a co-worker to have sex with me when we were alone in the building. She had a crush on me and we'd flirted and had some makeouts but hadn't done anything really heavy. One morning I forced her to fuck even though she claimed she didn't want it.
>>675388369
You're a fucking loser
>>675381304
>>675392550
How long ago?
It's not too late to head off a rape charge.
>>675392339
You keep any for yourself?
>ITT
>>675392217
That's very reassuring, actually. Thanks for your input.
>>675392598
>Says the guy on 4cahn.
I can't really disagree though. I'm one of those douchebags with like 4 college degrees that still lives with my mom and works an entry level job. I've come to accept that.
The thing is that I'm actually kind of good at being a loser though.
>>675391681
I fucking ooze machismo from every pore, which is why i would never have my cockenballs drenched in the foul vagina ketchup. Develop a sense of pride and stop acting like a fucking nigger. My concerns in life extend farther than muh dick. Fucking uncouth peasant.
I have a huge crush with someone at my school, and I'm shipped with him, but I can't tell anyone because I'm kinda in a relationship with someone already. It doesn't really matter tho because he doesn't like me. He's also a fellow /b/ lurker so I hope he doesn't see this.
Took goth chick on a date to an old grave yard back in the day, ate mexican for lunch, and hot a wild case of the shits. Had to shit in the woods and it was firing out of my ass like wet dog food. She was super impressed.
>>675392885
I mean, I guess thats one way of looking at it. I'm a loser, yes, but I don't go out of my way to be one. I'm drunk as fuck, I'm 19, im on 4chan, and I've gone home crying many times from my fast food job that I hate and I'm a virgin. So yeah, not too much better. Atleast I'm happy at the moment from being drunk as fuck
>>675392416
Yeah I don't think I'm going to answer that.
>>675393189
nice.
>>675393189
>>675393161
Virgin alert
>>675392702
Years ago. She only used the R-word once, as it was happening. Every time it's come up since then--several times, always initiated by her--she's laughed about it. No trouble coming my way.
>>675392323
In jealous, all I have is a 16 year old fuck buddy, too young to have a kid myself lol, don't want one at 23. My secret, I fucking love teens 15-17
>>675393258
I guess it depends on how you qualify the term "loser." From what you've explained, I'm way less of a loser than you are. I'm just kind of a creep.
I regularly get laid, turn down pussy a lot, have a lot of friends (although I prefer time alone), have a great relationship with my family, and relatively attractive, am above average intelligence, and have a lot of interesting hobbies.
The thing is that I also have a tendency to sporadically do weird, novel things that run some kind of risk because they give life meaning. Am I a loser? Probably by many standards. Mainly I dislike the fact that I work a crappy job, make virtually no money, and have tons of education that I can't afford. Beyond that, I'm pretty much not a loser.
It doesn't bother me either way.
>>675393293
Atleast cream pies?
>>675393731
>I'm way less of a loser than you are.
:^(
>>675393749
Every time :-)
I got nudes of my sisters best friend from hacking into her friends old phone.(borrowed it to sister)
She was 16 at the time of the photos and she's 18now
>>675385894
you male or female?
>>675381304
I'M VOTING TRUMP TO MAGA!
>>675381304
i really want to kill every non -white on the planet probably will watch for me on the news
>>675393919
You admitted to being a 19 year old drunken virgin who goes home crying because you can't handle your fast food job. I'm an attractive, intelligent male who likes to listen to people fuck.
I'm a creep. You're a loser. There's a difference.
I'm a pathological liar, even to my friends. Not anything wild, just stuff that saves my dignity
>>675386208
Zzzzzzzz....
>>675393965
She swallow? And u like her taste?
>>675394276
I know, I was just admitting to the fact that I'm sad about it
I mean, I'm alright looking, and i do have some friends, and I generally like my life at home and am close to my family as well but not much outside that. Stop making me fucking depressed you asshole
>>675381304
>told my parents i would vote for bernie
>voted for trump because fuck my parents and fuck communism
I enjoy loli but not cp
>>675381888
More stories you weird fuck
I tried to kill myself a few days ago. Oops.
>>675394622
Sorry. <3
>>675389804
Why did you try killing this person?
>>675381304
I trolled this people that tried to troll me then yesterday I made it know on facebook.
not sure if they were undercovers but for about two years.
I'm a sociopath.
>>675394892
It's alright, I'm just drunk is all. And, I've been depressed for the past 3 or 4 months now and I'm getting fucking sick of it
>>675394513
She doesn't like to swallow but liked to take it on her face. She has the sweetest pussy I've ever tasted!
>>675394752
Heh, alright. I posted the other one about the box and the spy device, but I'll give you another one.
When I was younger there was this cologne called "Pierre Cardan" that I used to get a lot. It was cheap dollar store cologne, but the bottle was shaped like a phallus. Anyway, I was about 13 and started trying anal stimulation so that I could have a more intense orgasm. I got into a habit of straddling on top of one and grinding my anus on it while I masturbated. I kept it under my bathroom sink in a small drawer. I never really washed it. I maybe wiped it off with some toilet paper occasionally.
Well one day one of my friends came over and opened the drawer. I was like "Oh, that's my cologne. That's how you smell like Shawn."
Without saying anything, he picked up the cologne and put it right in his face. He took in a deep sniff and was like "Wow! That does smell like you!"
Yes Seth. Yes it does. I didn't have the heart to tell him. My close childhood friend had a whiff of my asshole.
>>675395174
Odd. I've been depressed a lot lately too. Today I feel pretty good.
Seriously. I found that having novel experiences makes life more meaningful. Don't do weird pervy stuff like I do, but find something interesting, weird, and novel and you'll feel a lot better.
>>675383803
Talk to her annon. You have nothing to lose
>>675386245
>>675386493
And I got a raging boner
>>675394466
Yup, pretty much.
>>675395630
Hahaha, alright I'll try not to do weird shit. Thanks for the advice. I've just been depressed about my job. At first, it was because I wanted more than fast food. Then, lately, it's been because I almost got fired from my job and I've been feeling if I can't even do fast fuckign food, what chance do I have at my dreams? and other jobs? I'm alright now, though. I had a talk with my boss today and I think I'll be okay. I'll try to find some novel experiences like you suggested
>>675391882
how old is she, how old r u?
>>675396158
25 years old suffer from delayed ejaculation and erictile dysfunction secret is that i always tell my friends that i have had sex with the girls i go home with, even though i seldom do...
I'd make my cousin give me hand jobs while she slept when I was a kid
I grabbed and raped a young'n in a quiet part of a huge water park junior year of HS, on vacation with my family. She was maybe 9. Never get caught.
>>675396547
See a doctor now. Untreated, it will only get worse. Take it from me.
>>675395213
how did this start?
>>675396611
Go on...
>>675396226
Yeah but you're only 19. Assuming you don't blow your head off, you'll probably switch careers or at least become a manager eventually. Also, don't buy into the hype. A lot of "prestigious" jobs are actually easier than fast food.
What I mean is that people assume you're an idiot, they treat you like shit because you're replaceable, the expectations upon you and your team to make orders are usually unrealistic time frames, and nobody cares because it's a "fast food job."
Imagine if you were a priest or lutheran pastor. You get your house provided for you, you get a paycheck every two weeks, there's literally nobody holding you accountable besides the bishop (however frequently you see that fuckin' guy - a couple times a year?), everything you have to do in your service is provided for you with the exception of the sermon, and you literally work one day a week. The only original content you develop is like 2 hours a week.
That's a "prestigious" job, but take it from a seminary drop out who worked at McDonalds that plenty of priests and pastors wouldn't fucking make it in fast food.
>>675387689
>"....here are artistic works of fiction...."
>"....here are autistic works of fiction...."
Im a closet bi with a gf of 5 years that i love but every now and then i crave sucking cock. Tfw i cant because i dont want to be a scumbag cheating bf. What do i do b?
>>675396735
I came home from work early once and she must not have heard me come in because I heard her masturbating in her room saying things like 'daddy fuck me with you big dick' and stuff like that. That was when I decided to drop my pants and enter her room. She freaked out at first but once I assured her everything was ok she asked if she could touch my big dick and here we are now :-)
>>675396755
That's pretty much the story. Grabbed her from behind: one hand over her mouth, other pulling her suit to one side. Pulled out and came in the water then bolted.
>>675396786
Wow, thanks man, that actually made me feel better. I can't wait until I have a real job, It's going to be fucking awesome. Good luck with your life and your depression, we'll both be fine, I know it. I'm not suicidal or anything, I promise. So there's no worrying there. Have yourself a good night.
Fucking girlfriend in the woods by a state park lake after army basic on pass, clomp-clomp-clomp wtf???
Amish family walking horses down a trail staring at us. Girl busts out crying, i cant stop laughing.
>>675381304
I lie toy gf amd her family about being in the Marines. She amd her family asked why I had the blues and uniforms and I said they were dads. Idk why I lied I got out and just want to stay out I guess
>>675397600
Wow, seeing that makes me happy. The only good thing I can feel is when other people are happy.
Sorry to pop in unannounced. ^^
>>675397590
But what was the intention and did you knew her?
>>675397581
wow. how long has this been happening? did u plan on this before or just stumble upon it?
>>675398038
Intention was to fuck her. Didn't know her, just saw her and got super hard.
>>675397791
And come Rumspringa, that girl is going to insist on getting fucked in the woods like she once saw. You're an inspiration.
>>675381304
My tea is full of liquor.
I make lots of tea and everyone is so proud of my sobriety but yeah
Nobody really checks it and stuff [due to the weird teas i tend to enjoy], so I'm pretty happy with such. Helps me deal with a lot of people.
>>675397909
:^)
>>675398295
did she see u? what did she say?
I have a cuck fetish and would like nothing more than to see my GF creampied by a handsome bull, preferably without any birth control.
i sexually assaulted a 10yr old girl with d cups when she was asleep.
did that to several other girls that slept over. i should kill myself
>>675397514
You suck dick, and hope to god you dont get caught.
>>675398584
If she saw me it wasn't well enough to describe me because I made it out of there and this was three years ago. She didn't say anything with my hand over her mouth, but I felt her scream into my hand as I slid into her.
I have a job that pays me a steady income.
>>675394330
Protip: they know you're lying and aren't saying anything because they feel bad for you.
I traveled back in time to kill two of my best friends.
>>675399047
how did no one else see u?
>>675398094
Stumbled on it. She started developing quite young and she began to really turn me on. It's been several years now and we've never been caught. I'm kinda hoping my wife would catch us and then want to join in but that probably won't happen.
>>675399306
It was in this spot where you could get behind a waterfall and no one on the other side could see through the water. Good timing. And I blew my load in like 30 secs because I was so turned on.
>>675396239
I'm 25 she's 22. It wasn't a molesty-rape sort of thing. It happened last year-ish. Like I said, we had always been.. Touchy? Idk. Being overseas as an Army kid can really isolate you, so there were a lot of nights we stayed up and talked for hours, and developed a relationship that we were struggling to get outside our bubble.. Idk man. It's a weird situation, because there are a LOT of people that think incest is a rapey sort of thing, or a mental retarded thing. So I can't ever talk about my views on incest without everyone looking at me weird.. My thoughts are thus: What two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own rooms is their business.. Siblings, gay people, etc.. I do want to know she is a slim, atheletic build with small tits, and is conventionally attractive.. I'm a lumbering retard, so I guess she likes me for my personality. Haha.
Either way, it's a secret both of us will take to our graves. I'll be seeing her later this month, I'd be a liar if I didn't say I wouldn't mind fooling around again.. I guess we'll see.
>>675399480
Have you ever worked it into any of your dirty talk with wife? Have her call you Daddy, anything similar?
My cousin found out she was pregnant a few weeks after i came into her panties, i know it's unlikely it was mine but i'm glad she aborted.
>>675398910
What's the angle on that fetish? where's the appeal? i never got it, it goes completly against every instinct i have as a man.
>>675399480
>I'm kinda hoping my wife would catch us and then want to join in
That right there
probably the strongest and most ashamed fetish i have
>>675385404
stream it m8
I love my gf down to her core. She's basically perfect for me, almost like she was tailored to my every taste. There's nothing I'd ever do to fuck things up with her.
But I miss flirting with random girls all the time. It felt good, for whatever reason, even if it never went anywhere.
>>675385404
Same
>>675395444
More. I agree with your outlook on weird situations and living an interesting life.
>>675399480
how often do u hook up? does she fuck anyone else?
>>675382726
Fire doesn't get rid of bones and teeth, if bones/teeth are found can be traced
i consider myself straight and have a girlfriend but i have a fetish for sucking cocks.
>>675400128
You can flirt, as long as you don't cheat. Do you think she stoped flirting with guys just because she couldn't fuck them?
>Pro tip: No, she didn't.
>>675399786
Nah. I've been too afraid I'll fuck up a good thing. My dream is the wife and daughter 69 with the daughter on top. That way my wife can watch my cock fuck our daughter's tight pussy and then she can lick up my cum that oozes out of her. I'll take that over winning the fucking lottery.
>>675400317
>I'm straight but i want to suck dick
Let me guess, only if it's femenine?
I stayed with a friend out of state, I basically lived in his sister's room for a week (she was away at college) and I literally wiped my dick on everything. I wrapped all her hair bands around my balls, jizzed in a different pair of panties every night, and rubbed my dick on the door knob for fun.
>>675399717
don't have a kid with her anon and you'll be fine...do u think this will be a regular thing for th rest of your lives? like even if u are married to other ppl u will still hookup since no one would suspect ?
>>675400510
I'd do the exact same.
>>675400468
Any indication that wife is bi/has been with women in the past? 'Cuz I'm really hopiong you can make this happen.
>>675399480
so how long has she had a daddy fetish? is it just you or other older guys?
>>675400508
no only if i dont see the person its attatched to
i fucked my best friend's wife 3 times and he has no idea about it....
I run a motel. I sometimes spy on the guests and occasionally drug and molest/rape the girls if they're cute
>>675400857
is that her? how did it happen the first time?
>>675400857
Wow, you're a shit head, anon. Don't you ever feel bad about it? I wouldn't be able to look at my friend in the eyes.
>>675398380
RUMSPRINGA!!
>>675400270
At least twice a week but usually more. It's always in the morning after my wife leaves. Sometimes I wake her up, sometimes my alarm goes off and she's already climbed into bed with meach taking my wife's spot. She's so tight so I tend to not last very long in her. We take a shower after since I have work and she has school. Hate the days when I wake up and my wife has called sick :-(
>>675401198
how do u pull that off? story pls
>>675400270
Oh and she doesn't date anyone else. She's shown no interest outside of me.
>>675401416
wow sounds like a goer.. does she have a bf?
>>675381304
I Jack off in public on occasion. Or while driving the highway.
>>675401695
so u were her first?
1. Watched gay porn with best mates girlfriend.
2. Best mate in kindy sucked my dick regularily.
I swear I'm not gay, just had a lot of gay experiences.
>>675400837
I actually never asked. She's never really shown interest in guys other than me.
I have a rape fantasy. I wouldn't ever do it, but I love watching those fake rape porn videos.
I'm tired of being a sex addict. I'm going to cut my dick tomorrow.
>>675401416
what do u guys do (in detail)?
>>675402235
Cutting your dick off won't fix it. Your problem is testosterone. Nix the testicles.
h
>>675400715
We actually watch porn together and our favorite videos are mff threesome so she might be. Believe me I want this to happen more than anyone but this could so blow up in my face so bad. Probably end up in jail.
>>675402486
i still want my testosterone. don't wanna be less aggressive or start growing boobs
im leaving for the Army soon and my girlfriend of 1 year says she is sad about me leaving for long periods of time and says she is fine with a long distance relationship. she has given me no reason to think this, but i think she is going to leave me before i finish basic training.
>>675402557
will most def blow up in your face
>>675402881
she will prob just cheat on u. why would she break it off if u r gonna come back with $$
>>675402881
You're being paranoid. Chill.....
>>675403154
thanks for that thought
>>675401615
Mainly sevoflurane.
Fairly vanilla sex, no anal or anything that would leave them sore. Usually I just feel them up or finger them.
>>675381304
gf claims shes bisexual
"sure, they all say they are"
one day, she brings home her female friend and they fuck around a bit. then they both jump on me.
now-thats-pretty-freaking-awesome.
but then the other girl starts telling me she really wants to have sex with me.
"ummm... ok. you, me, and my gf?"
"no, just you"
shit.
this has happened twice now.
its frustrating. when i'm single, no one will even look at me. when i'm dating someone, every girl wants to fuck like theres no tomorrow.
wtf? its frustrating as shit.
>>675402881
shes going to leave you or cheat on you and pretend she didn't. and if she doesn't leave you, there's something really wrong with her.
>>675403367
don't they notice they were drugged and fingered?
I absolutely fucking hate humanity. Most of the time when I talk about it people just shrug it off and it bothers me that they do. It's not some complex where I think I'm better than people for seeing it, it feels like a disorder, like nothing makes me happy, and it's never gonna change. I hate most of the things in life but I keep going just to make one or two people's lives a little bit easier. If it wasn't for my brother, I'd have killed myself years ago.
>>675403434
Part of female sexual arrousal is that they want what other women want. Being desired by your gf make another women want you. Be single, and no one does. Nature doesn't like the idea of monogomy.
>>675402881
Literally all girls that have boyfriends who go off to war cheat on them. You're fucked
>>675399801
Because he's an estrogen filled faggot
>>675403792
No I sneak into their rooms when they're already sleeping
>>675381483
You male m8?
>>675402238
We usually start with 69. When I fuck my wife it's always at night so my daughter says she likes to suck mommy's pussy juice off my cock. She loves to ride me and that way she can still ride me as I'm cumming. It's so fucking hot.
>>675403434
did u fuck her and her friend? story please...
>>675401775
No she doesn't. Hasn't shown much interest in anyone but me.
>>675404150
i don't get it. how do u drug them once theyre asleep? do u eat them out?
I've never been comfortable as a male. In all my dreams I am a female.
But I'll probably never transition, so no one will ever know. No one but you, /b
>>675383408
Almost raped? Did he try to force himself on you in a movie theater? Wtf.
>>675384058
Different anon, but I had a dental thing where they used a laser to burn off some of my gumline, and it smells like burning hair but ten times worse.
Really funky smell, and makes you kind of want to puke.
>>675404191
that is unreal. has she ever tried to hook up with your wife? does she swallow? what does she look like? is she hot?
>>675404510
sweet ol' /b/
I sexually identify as atheist.
>>675403952
i dont like monogamy either. actually, i was thinking how in the world do married couples stay together for so long? ive been in a few long (several years) relationships and after a while, i get bored. i know this is my problem not theirs but i don't get how anyone can say, 'till death do us part'...?
>>675403888
I feel the same as you do.
>>675403888
>>675404902
Staying on /b/ isn't going to improve your outlook, that's for sure
>>675404510
Your secrets are safe and screenshoted.
Just kidding. ^^
>>675389404
>>675389404
>>675405084
>>>675403888
>>>675404902 (You)
>Staying on /b/ isn't going to improve your outlook, that's for sure
Unfortunately won't. You're right. But I have nothing to go for in my life.
>>675404890
Your spouse is supposed to be your best friend. Someone you can tell anything to and also fuck
>>675405215
>>>675405084
>>>>675403888
>>>>675404902 (You)
*it won't
I sexually molested my little cousin when we were kids. She was about 5-6 I was about 9-10. She became depressed and suicidal and shit when she got older, she also liked girls for a while, still does. Idk if any of that is my fault, but I wouldn't be surprised. I'm a cowardly person, so I never had the gut to approach and apologize to her, but there is a kindness in my heart that doesn't want her to remember those memories. It eats at me ever so slowly. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock....
>>675403952
do u think her friend would tell your gf?
>>675405391
does she remember. I went to apologise to my cousin and she didn't even remember. All I did was kick up dust unnecessarily.
>>675386006
You need a girlfriend for jobs like that anon
>>675405315
you don't always hang out with your best friend and your best friend changes over time.
if humans are naturally change over time then doesn't marriage hamper that and ultimately make you less than you could be?
>>675381304
Im in love with this 18 yo dude.. He already realized and so my husband... Hurts that I want him so much and even knowing husbs doesnt allow me...
>>675405653
But what pro tips do you have for anons who can't get a girlfriend?
>>675381304
I want to be forced into sex slavery, but i don't want to want it.
>>675405789
Some people are just so compatible with each other that they never change for each other.
>>675399087
when this happens and you're telling the truth
>>675404890
thats why 50% of marriages dont work. just think of all the ones that stay together that are unhappy. so pretty much 75% of relationships aren't good.... better to be single or with someone who lets u fuck other ppl then u won't get bored...
Kek
I do the same thing
im mexican and i want trump to win
>>675404191
how long do u plan to carry this on for?
>>675406593
Trump doesn't hate Mexicans. Just because he wants to deport illegals doesn't mean he hates Mexicans.
>>675403434
what did her and her friend do?
>>675406028
how would you know? i mean, before when people died in their 40's, it was pretty easy because life was rough. now you live with that person for decades and you have something most people never had before -- leisure time.
how can anyone remain compatible for decades?
>>675406551
you're supposed to reference. Do the same what?
>>675392395
Thats probably not a secret. People probably call you bitch all the time.
I had a gay experience when I was 15. I started hanging out with this guy who was 10 years older than me and he was uber gay. Guy even went drag. He had a lot of lesbian friends who were hot and thought I was cute, so I would go to parties at his house and fuck all these lesbians, but then sometimes he wanted to kiss me and shit and he was kind of aggressive about it so I would just give in. Then one time we went to a motel where he wanted to have sex and we almost did but I felt uncomfortable and just left. Nothing like that ever happened again since then, strictly pussy, but I can't shake the memory, no matter how hard I try and tuck it away. I feel so ashamed of it. I don't feel like a man. I'm deathly afraid of being gay, because I've built up my personality as a straight person, I only get aroused from females. I'm 22 now and I still have doubts about myself, about my character. If there ever comes a day that I realize that I am gay, I would slit my throat from ear to ear, because then the only dignity I could allow myself at that moment would be a beautiful death, to let my pain and denial the colour of crimson flow from my neck and stain my white sheets, like a heavy oil paint dripping down a blank canvas. But I tell myself I am not in denial, that I'm straight and that's the end of it. I wish I could find that guy, I want to kill him. I don't know what that would solve. I barely even know myself these days.
>>675406807
You don't. This question is like finding the key to happiness. It's different for everyone but you can't explain how it works because it won't make sense to anyone but yourself.
NEED NEW THREADDDDDDDDDD
>>675381304
My secret is this: Superman dies.
>>675406768
yea but youll get a shitstorm coming your way if you say that as a mexican
