Ask a Schizophrenic anything.
I may take a while to reply sometimes, be patient.
Free (you)s for all posters!
>>768857358
How does it feel to talk to another of your kind?
>>768857358
A read somewhere that schizophrenia is almost always comorbid with a personality disorder. That doesn't ring true to me. Thoughts?
>>768857439
>How does it feel to talk to another of your kind?
Just feels like talking to someone I can relate to.
>>768857461
>Thoughts?
It makes sense. There are a few personality disorders that are like the "prerequisite" to Schizophrenia. Our brains are pretty fucked up, so it's not unreasonable that there's also an underlying flaw in the personality as well.
I don't know if I have a personality disorder myself, though I suspect I do.
>>768857708
>Our brains are pretty fucked up, so it's not unreasonable that there's also an underlying flaw in the personality as well.
Good point. Thanks for the (You).
>>768857358
Have you assaulted or harmed anybody?
Why shinobu?
>>768857936
>Good point
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4939030/
Here's a paper that goes into the statistical data of it, if you're interested.
>>768858106
>Have you assaulted or harmed anybody?
Yes, I was an extremely violent teen.
>>768858142
>Why shinobu?
Is this even a question?
Sometimes i see people and my friends say they're not there. The first time was an old lady that everynight from 3 years ago till today, always sit in my closet looking to me. The second guy appeared when i was at school, like 2 and half year ago (20 yo now), and he too sat in some places, behind the board, or under a friend's table, things like that (if someone want i could describe him). The thirt one is a kiddo that ride his skateboard whenever i came out of my home, and when im with my friends they say that cant see him. I stopped telling this to them like 2 years ago, because they would took me as a liar or a crazy or anyshit like that. The fourth one only appeared once, when i met an old friend from elementary school. It was a clown, he first was far away, i saw him cause i've just turned back at the right time. Someway he then was hanging in a tree with his hands, giving me a big smile. My friends then asked me what i was looking by half an hour, but to me they seem'd like 2 or 3 minutes. I never saw him again.
The last one appeared the other night. When i was going to the park, i though i saw something following me, but i ignored it. Then, i dont know why, i've seen him hided behind a tree. It was like a black coat with a face, but i didn't seem him good. Then i stood in the park for like 2 hours (4 AM- 6 AM) and he just appeared in front of me several times, so i just decided to go home. This last happened the other night (11/5). Please don't threat me as a crazy man or anything like that
>>768858262
>https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4939030/
tyvm have bookmarked for a closer look later
>>768858262
When you were violent, did people try to peaceably restrain you, or just kick the shit out of you?
>>768858262
>>Have you assaulted or harmed anybody?
>Yes, I was an extremely violent teen.
Nice, tell me more.
What was the worst thing you have done related to your disorder
>>768858315
Maybe you'r not schizo just spacial kid with super power
>>768858352
>>768858416
>>768858504
Sum them up in a green text
>>768857358
is OP a fag?
>>768858315
>Please don't threat me as a crazy man or anything like that
I don't think you're crazy, anon. Just sounds like you suffer from some hallucinations. I would keep an eye on that if I were you though, it could develop into something more malicious.
If you notice things getting worse, I recommend you see a doctor.
>>768858334
>tyvm have bookmarked for a closer look later
No problem, friend.
>>768858638
I dated a schizo for awhile a couple of years back have you ever had anything similar
>>768858352
>>768858549
>Sum them up in a green text
>When you were violent, did people try to peaceably restrain you, or just kick the shit out of you?
No, no really ever tried to stop me. I was a big kid, and whoever was getting pounded could not resist.
The only person who ever really tried to stop me was my mom.
Even if shit happened at school, no one intervened people just ignored it and went about their day.
But, I also went to super ghetto schools and fights happened literally daily.
>>768858416
>Nice, tell me more.
>In 7th grade
>Just finish eating lunch, walking in the outside lunch patio area
>Annoying Mexican "bully" kid. (about half my size, not in height just weight)
>Walk by him and wave as a greeting (I did this to just about everyone)
>He says something and I stop and turn to him
>As my eyes meet his he grabs my head and tries to make it look like I'm sucking my dick
>I upper cut him right in the jaw and push him to the ground and just start pounding the ever loving shit out of his face
>There's a teacher sitting literally 15 feet from us making sure none of the kids leave the lunch area
>Stand up
>Walk away
>Mexican kid never looks me in the eyes again
>>768858315
Sory anon, but you are crazy.
>>768858262
>Is this even a question?
Yes, Snake is slightly better
>>768857358
Can you talk us about your alucinations.
>>768857358
Oh holy shit you're back
>>768858504
>What was the worst thing you have done related to your disorder
I don't really know. I've never blamed the "bad" things I've done on my disorder. But, I've done a lot of fucked up things.
Beat up a retarded kid, used to shoplift, got in fights, some sexual deviancy. You know, the whole nine yards.
>>768858619
>is OP a fag?
Nope, I'm straight.
>>768858905
>have you ever had anything similar
What do you mean?
Have I ever dated a Schizo?
If that's what you mean, no.
>>768859084
>Yes, Snake is slightly better
>SNAKE
>SNAKE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WORST GIRL
>>768857358
>>768857708
>>768858262
>>768858638
>>768859009
>>768859239
Who's this girl? And what is she from?
>>768859166
>Can you talk us about your alucinations.
Sorry, can you be a little more specific?
>>768859173
>Oh holy shit you're back
For now.
>>768859271
>Who's this girl?
Oshino Shinobu
>And what is she from?
>Spoonfeeding
Google is your friend.
>>768859313
Good to see you again, even if im too awkward to message you on steam
>>768859313
(not OR) have you ever had harmful hallucination? if so, how you manage them?
What is your disorder? Temper issues? What problems do you face related to schizo
>>768859313
just tell us about an interesting one
>>768857358
anon do you hear real voices?
what I mean is are they outside your head and indistinguishable from a "real" sound?
only ask because I have some mental issues that I'm trying to determine if theyre severe anxiety or early schizo tendencies
>>768859428
How'd things end up going with your gf? Last I remember it wasn't so great
Why shinobu? Cuz she's the smuggest of them all?
>>768859428
>Good to see you again
Glad you came to say hi.
>>768859471
>have you ever had harmful hallucination?
I have had violent hallucinations. They usually involve blunt force trauma.
But they're really, really rare. I haven't had one in about 2 years.
>if so, how you manage them?
I just let them do their thing. Those ones only really happen when I'm alone.
>>768859491
>What is your disorder?
Schizophrenia.
>Temper issues?
I used to have very bad temper issues. Anyone who pressed my buttons just immediately got the shit beat out of them.
I've made a lot of progress in that regard though. I haven't lashed out at anyone in about 8 or so years.
>What problems do you face related to schizo
Mostly just lack of desire to partake in society. I don't leave my house, but to go shopping. I've cut off a lot of my friendships, and just generally became a hermit.
>>768857358
What do you think about rule 13?
>>768857358
Your cool dude you just had sex with someone who had the thing from (It Fellows) attached to them which means its attached to you just go out n rape randomly your mom and dad will finally love you n stop hurting you
>>768857358
We're the other voices in your mind and we all agree we don't like you and we're voting you off the island
>>768859972
Fuckin wat
>>768857358
Shut up, Faggot.
how bad was ur schizophrenia and how well did you recover?
>>768859514
>just tell us about an interesting one
Here's my go-to interesting hallucination.
I was on the front porch with my friend. We were chitchatting about some nonsense, I don't really remember. Something to do with space.
Then the idea of a blackhole popped into my head and I looked down the street at a streetlight, and it flickered then got sucked into what I can only describe as a black hole.
So I walked down the road and started examining the black hole I could see the light being sucked into it and it felt extremely strange to be by it. So I stuck my arm into it and then I was on the porch with my friend again, and only about 15 seconds had passed.
>>768859517
>anon do you hear real voices?
No, not really.
>what I mean is are they outside your head and indistinguishable from a "real" sound?
They're inside my head, but I can hear them in my ears.
It's like the sound originates from the inside of my head and leaks out of my ears.
>>768859557
>How'd things end up going with your gf?
We broke up last year.
>>768859736
>Why shinobu?
She a best
>>768859239
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WORST GIRL
no, crab is worst girl
aslo fuck you
>>768860173
(It Fellows) is a much better movie then be people give it credit for and if you would stop touching children you could see that
>>768857358
Its OK Davy you let the fire put you to sleep now
>>768857358
Hello!
It's been a while.
Too long, really.
It's good to see you!
>>768857358
hey retard, smoke pot, do exercise, and read books=cure, retard fuck, if u cant do these things, dont be violent because of it
>>768860236
>last year
Holy shit it has been awhile then, is this your first thread back or did I just miss them all?
>>768857358
Do you have friends IRL?
>>768860522
I think you might be the retard
>>768859919
>What do you think about rule 13?
It's a pretty reasonable thing.
>>768859972
>All of that
Uhhhhh...
>>768860131
>We're the other voices in your mind and we all agree we don't like you and we're voting you off the island
Bitch, I am the island.
>>768860173
>Fuckin wat
I second that.
>>768860177
>Shut up, Faggot.
No.
>>768860222
>how bad was ur schizophrenia
Well, was is the incorrect word. I still suffer from it.
It's not the worst, but it's not "easy" either. There are definitely people who have it way worse.
>how well did you recover?
I haven't recovered.
>>768860263
>no, crab is worst girl
What is wrong with you. Crab girl is #3.
1. Shinobu
2. Monkey arm girl
3. Crab
4. Snail
...
...
...
9999999999999999999999. Snake
>>768860625
schizophrenic
>>768860522
You will never know the struggle of 6 deferent people trying to use the same keyboard at the same time
>>768860626
>It's a pretty reasonable thing.
why you dont follow it?
>>768860421
>Its OK Davy you let the fire put you to sleep now
Do you mean the carbon monoxide?
>>768860427
>Hello!
Hey friend, how's it hanging?
>It's been a while.
>Too long, really.
It has.
>It's good to see you!
Same to you.
>>768860522
>hey retard
Hi.
>smoke pot,
I do.
>do exercise,
Too hot.
>and read books=cure
I'm reading right now.
>>768860559
>Do you have friends IRL?
Yeah, a few. I'm going to hang with some later this evening.
>>768860715
>You will never know the struggle of 6 deferent people trying to use the same keyboard at the same time
Uhm, Anon. That isn't how it works.
>>768860892
>why you dont follow it?
Why would I follow someone else's rules?
I follow my rules.
>>768857358
How do u know your schizophrenic
>>768860931
>Yeah, a few. I'm going to hang with some later this evening.
They know about your shit?
>>768861029
>How do u know your schizophrenic
Psychologist.
>>768861070
>They know about your shit?
They know I'm not right in the head. They don't know the specifics of it.
How's life been going for you the last year?
>>768857358
We are the sub committee in your mind that manages your thoughts we would like to ask you stop fucking dogs n watch the movie (it Fellows) its a really good movie just give it a chance
>>768860715
im telling you schizophrenia is a mind-mind split, right?
rene descartes shilled a lie for the church 300 years ago that mind is a seperate matter from body, creating an artificial mind-body split narraive
cannabis fills the endocannabinoid system, which connects mind-body, and seeing as mind=body, remedies schizophrenia.
after this, you build muscle memory of a connection between mind and body under the effects of a full endocannabinoid system, either by doing a technical job that involves the brain body connection, or hell even exercise while listening to an e book (or god forbid thought be a requirement during physical exertion, technical manual labour -etc)
the 6 voices are you, stuck in distortion - read alphapub tower of babel for more on this, solve your distortions, cannabis again will facilitate this (bob marley - weed reveals yourself to yourself)
if u need more? why are u distorted - alduous huxley brave new world revissited (google it its online for free or buy the penguin little orange book paper back like i and others did, then u can read it everywhere and ull get a break from computers which some people cant handle/control can make some worse etc)
dont believe in cannabis?
read terrence mckennas food of the gods, same as above for reading advice, online pdf search or buy paperback.. paperbacks better but maybe ur too lazy to go to a book store or scared or whatever...
if u want additional reading (doubt it by this stage, but those 2 books are essential, plus tower of babel as a third if u need to understand distortions)
read for extra rene descartes meditations
read for extra cannabis the first 12000 years
so again to reiterate: super simple cure, ebook in your ears + some form of physical exercise (30 minute jog 3-4x a week) while high before u do it=cured
dont make up shit. thats u talking to urself with a shit control of volition. its pure physiology, active endocannabinoid system is solution
>>768860931
>>do exercise,
>Too hot.
your life is meaningless and the world will not care if you were not here, only you have the power to change that
>>768861150
>>>768861029
>>How do u know your schizophrenic
>Psychologist.
get off any meds ur potentially on and stop seeing them, a good doctor is one you dont go back to
>>768861344
Tl;dr
>>768857358
>Schizophrenic
prove it
>>768860626
>Crab girl is #3.
I kind of hate you now
Have a good day, i'm out
>>768861413
You sound like a snake oil salesman
>>768861425
>>768861516
if u still have this retarded bullshit madeup narrative in ur head, do harder exercise, do sprints, then hiit sprints, then hill sprints, then hill hiit sprints, then weighted sprints, then weighted hill sprints, then weighted hill hiit sprints, take you 2 months
>>768861344
just kys
>>768861654
not before i kill you first nigger cunt
>>768860931
I'm doing well! I'm having ordinary, unstressful days here. I hope you are doing well too!
>>768861652
Why cant you spell
>>768861715
shutup retard and stop talking to urself infront of others in a public forum, schizophrenic
>>768861763
I'm not even the schizo but why can't you spell
>>768861652
and study progressively harder more complex material, go to mises.org they have heaps of audio books on what the world needs, healing from the evil austrian by the good one, like twins.
>>768861686
ok anon.
it seems like pot and fitness are not working right
>>768861251
>How's life been going for you the last year?
Up and down. Overall it's been okay though.
How've you been?
>>768861255
>we would like to ask you stop fucking dogs
Why?
>n watch the movie (it Fellows)
I am unable to find this movie you speak of.
>>768861413
>your life is meaningless and the world will not care if you were not here, only you have the power to change that
Okay... What are you getting at?
>get off any meds ur potentially
I don't take meds.
>>768861425
>Tl;dr
I like this guy.
>>768861426
>prove it
/b/ - Random
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You can choose to believe me, or not.
>>768861450
>I kind of hate you now
>Having shit taste in women.
Good riddance.
>>768861868
blacklisted
>>768861897
blacklisted
>>768861898
>Okay... What are you getting at?
having a good meaningful life, u might just be stupid u kno
>>768861970
You're on /b/ telling people to have a meaningful life
>>768861689
>I'm doing well! I'm having ordinary, unstressful days here.
Good to hear.
>I hope you are doing well too!
I'm okay. Just really tired.
>>768861970
>having a good meaningful life,
A meaningful life on whose scale? I care not how others view the "meaningfulness" of my life. I spend it who I wish.
>u might just be stupid u kno
And you might just be a genius, you know? But, probably not.
>>768861898
Just kinda stagnant the last year, no real ups or downs just boring
>>768862074
send nudes
>>768862121
>A meaningful life on whose scale? I care not how others view the "meaningfulness" of my life. I spend it who I wish.
anyones, if ur gonna be a piece of shit be an extreme piece of shit about it so i know which end ur on
>>768861936
ok anon. Don't worry.
Everything is gonna be ok.
>>768857358
Is the whole voices tell you to do evil things thing real or is that just a stereotype?
>>768862297
it doesnt matter what u tell urself now bic
>>768862138
>Just kinda stagnant the last year, no real ups or downs just boring
Ah, I know how to that goes.
Hopefully, something changes for you.
>>768862201
>anyones, if ur gonna be a piece of shit be an extreme piece of shit about it so i know which end ur on
Anon, I'm not even sure what you're on about anymore.
>>768862303
>Is the whole voices tell you to do evil things thing real
Yes, it is real. But, it doesn't happen to everyone. I myself do not suffer from this.
>or is that just a stereotype?
Largely, it is just a stereotype.
>>768862513
blacklisted
>>768862513
ill give u 48 hours to jog for 30 minutes or ur blacklisted
>>768862734
blacklisted
Maybe schizo's are actually seeing spirits and such like Shinobu?
>>768862734
>blacklisted
>>768862753
>ill give u 48 hours to jog for 30 minutes or ur blacklisted
You're a bit late. I've already been blacklisted.
>>768861425
>>768861654
>>768861897
stop bullying retarded people!
>>768862889
Sorry dad I didn't mean it
>>768862821
>Maybe schizo's are actually seeing spirits and such like Shinobu?
Sure, it's possible. But I don't think it's true.
Is this your first post back on /b/ or did I miss some?
>>768863039
>Is this your first post back on /b/ or did I miss some?
It's not my first, I post every now and then. But with no sort of frequency.
I made a thread yesterday.
>>768862988
I gotta run now, but I'm very happy to see you are still doing threads!
I'll talk to you again soon!
Have a wonderful day!
>>768862777
whitelisted
Op here posting from my phone, so no shinobu. It's hella storming here and my power is getting rekt. I gotta abandon for a while. If the thread is still up when it calms down I'll be back. May make another one if it dies.
Should be back in 30 mins or so.
>>768863575
Bye bye OP>>768863575
>>768863575
blacklisted
>>768863533
im
02/64th black
16/64th jew
46/64th white
>>768863678
>>768863533
blacklisted
>>768862889
ur all retarded compared to me thats the problem but when u wont take my fucking advice by gawd
>>768863842
blacklisted
>>768863969
someone give this down syndrome cunt turbo cancer
>>768864041
stop pretending that you are retarded.
is not funy.
>>768857358
What was the first signs. I really need to know this coz I suspect myself and I once had a "conversation" inside my head with unknown thing that looked like a black posture in the red background. It happened about 3 years ago when I smoked a really small amount of weed and decided to go on a walk at 9 pm. I had a "vision" recently as well of me middle aged in underwear under a shower with a really fucked eyesight and then I heard something creepy in my thoughts but I can't remember it coz I was stoned as hell. I easily get lost in thoughts and I start to get more chaotic everyday. I lost feeling of being horny, hyped or just feeling of being sober. Can you relate to this if yes then what I can do to prevent being fucked in the head. And if you want a question from me then does it affect your dreams?
>>768864318
cunt if u dont stop hitting urself then i will
>>768864318
blacklisted
>>768857358
>heyy dumbs, go in shit, look at this!!!
>>768864484
visual psyche association=visual
memory recall not in first person = audio
non inflamatory diet will help, smoke weed with the mental and physical exercise - triparte
>>768864484
do bucketlist shit
>>768864724
schizophrenic
>>768864848
ask me anything
About how long have you been collecting Shinobu pics? I admire your dedication.
Alright, I'm back, storm has calmed down.
>>768864484
>What was the first signs.
My first signs were extreme paranoia and anxiety. Followed by night terrors and depression. The hallucinations didn't come until later for me.
>It happened about 3 years ago when I smoked a really small amount of weed and decided to go on a walk at 9 pm
The chances are that the weed caused it. THC is a psychotic drug, meaning it can induce psychosis.
If you're worried stop smoking weed and see if the symptoms go away. If they don't, see a doctor.
>And if you want a question from me then does it affect your dreams?
I don't really dream. So it's hard to say.
>>768864777
>smoke weed
You give the worst advice.
>>768864989
>ask me anything
Yes, or no?
>>768864484
just smoke more weed and do some exercise.
that can cure even cancer and down sydrome
>>768865112
>About how long have you been collecting Shinobu pics?
Created: Sunday, August 24, 2014, 3:17:35 AM
About that long.
>I admire your dedication.
Thanks, I guess. My collection isn't that big though.
>>768865149
No but sometimes yes
>>768864484
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association_(psychology)
>>768864989
stop speaking start listening to someone other then yourself, find a idol, youtube jiddu krishnamurti
>>768865149
>You give the worst advice.
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT CUNT YOU HAVE ANOSOGNOSIA AND ARE PSYCHOLOGICALLY PROJECTING (TALKING TO YOURSELF) - IGNORE THE YES NO SWITCH IN YOUR HEAD AND JUST DO THE FUCKING ADVICE
>>768865151
almost true minus the infertility bit, imagine what it does for normies?
frederick neitzsche On the Genealogy of Morals is another awesome read, supermen, super citizens.
>>768865301
is that Shinobu pissing?
>>768865428
(not op) i just noticed that it could look like that...
Well I lied, my power is D.E.A.D
I'll be back in a few hours.
Op signing off
>>768865410
>stop speaking start listening to someone other then yourself, find a idol, youtube jiddu krishnamurti
That's not a question anon.
>also i'm not speaking
>>768865814
yeah well good thing cause most people have a subvocalisation habbit that essentially allows satelites to read thoughts. which is fine. whats done with them is what matters. the dangerous part is when a schizophrenic incurable retard starts weilding billions in infrastructure to assault you every half a second of your life for 5 years straight. omerta schizo. omerta.
>>768864777
I eat as much as necessary and I love fruit. I'm quite active riding a bicycle everywhere unless it's further than 20 km or I'm in a rush. I had a lot of deja Vu in my dreams too. I sometimes find myself having a quite standard a bit weird dream and the next day I find myself in a situation that is identical to that happened in my dream. The deja Vu happened a lot of times when I was tripping on synthetic marijuana. And I can tell you that smoking this shit makes you regret it 30 seconds after a hit but you will still come back 2 days later and smoke it again.
aye, glad to see you back mate.
How was your day?
Every thought about using your disorder to boost creativity? Like draw what you hear or make a melody out of the voices tones or something like this?
Would be really fucking interesting to see.
Love, the lazy fuck from yesterday.
>>768857358
Is Taylor Swift stalking you?
>>768866130
you just need to smoke more
>>768866130
synthetic marijuanna is a poison or next to it lol and has nothing to do with cannabis
if uve got problems eat a bit less sugar. probably worth studying what economic utility (see mises.org) is too, only you know whats worth in ur life, we pick our own guidelines, the rest are just suggestions and reprecussions and explanations/logic.
get the fuck off synth marijuanna lmfao!!!! not even close to real cannabis not even in the same conversation
>>768866130
tobaccos another one that can make u more /schiz/type bs, more poison
cannabis can cure even dead people
I've seen videos like that supposedly are accurate to the things you "hear", for example:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qb8wQjwVu2g
Is that exaggerated or is it really that terrifying?
>>768866369
I quitted smoking this shit after I found myself screaming in some pit in forest that some block is falling on me. The worst thing is that I thinked I said "block is falling on me" to my friend while he was ignoring me even though I was in a pit screaming it. Quite surreal and I thought it didn't happened until my friend told me.
>>768866589
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvAnGgk65tE
>>768866718
examine reasons why ud be so guilty to have this anxiety and get straight with urself, this can require courage, see my 3 point program or w/e ive already outlined. get confidence. these voices are urs. ur likely internalising a projection of care or unresolved/unexamined interaction you have towards another problem, or some underlying point of unresolved conversation between those people.. what are the sentiment.. what does it have to do with you... bring it back to tangibility.... do bucketlist shit... get a 300kg deadlift.. whatever... set a fucking goal... live once in ur life u worthless worm... and find love
>>768866952
synthetic marijuana is literally the opposite of weed... u want one ounce of why government is insane just look at the cannabis subject.. what a fucking embarressment
I've seen videos like that supposedly are accurate to the things you "hear", for example:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qb8wQjwVu2g
Is that exaggerated or is it really that terrifying?
>>768866718
you're so weak to be yourself and have your own voice you hide behind the yoke of pretending to be anothers
I want Shinobu to sit on my face!
>>768867085
retarded as fuck
>>768866718
>>768865410
study this shit and the related links at bottom, understanding is often integral and crucial to solving any problem... less ur placing roullette with a human dealer, try blow in his ear
look at communication people... look at jiddu krishnamurti, a man who talked to the world.
>>768867381
you dont know the half of it (schizophrenic pun)
some are also victims, and require healing all the same, true healing, not double speak shit
alduous huxley brave new world revissited
cannabis is neuroregenic, any age
>>768857358
Why do you're kind think black dicks are taking all the white women?
pretty sure im developing paranoid shcizo. had a paranoid episode a few days ago that lasted four days, thought my stepdad was a evil socio. not gonna go into detail.
you ever automatically start categorizing people in your head? i did a lot of research on personality disorders and now when im hanging out with people if they exhibit weird behavior i instantly jump to that.
exercise and cannabis beats all this shit...
destroy urself
heal
saiyan
>>768867893
you just need to smoke weed
>>768868247
recently went on SSRI's. trying to get my hands on some to see how it effects me. i smoked yesterday and it was like a whole new experience.
Op here again still posting from my phone as the power is still out.
Probably won't be able to really reply for about an hour and a half which is around the time the power should be back. If the thread is still up when it comes back on I'll get all the replies I missed.
I'll still be around just wont really be replying very often as my phone is low on power.
>>768868589
The power company trucks just rolled up. Should be back up in 10 or 15 mins
>>768868589
you just need pot
>>768867734
You're the worst kind of stoner
>>768869232
He is probably retarded, Anon
Okay, power is fucking finally back online.
>>768868985
and exercise
>>768869232
my activities involve getting high, playing vidya and fucking underage virgins, and im fucking awesome at both, possibly rank 1 in the world, especially when u consider my temporary golf handicap
>>768869295
retard
>>768870530
post nudes
>>768870530
what was your most terryfying experience? it would be nice if the story was detailed
>>768865410
>GOD FUCKING DAMNIT CUNT YOU HAVE ANOSOGNOSIA
No, not really. I think you're the one projecting onto me, here anon.
>>768865428
>is that Shinobu pissing?
Haha, no. I never noticed that though.
It's her shadow.
>>768866138
>aye
Ayo
>glad to see you back mate.
Thanks, friend. Glad you stopped by.
>How was your day?
Hasn't been bad. Mostly just tired and dealing with fucking Florida weather shitting on my power.
>Every thought about using your disorder to boost creativity?
Yes, I have. I've tried drawing and making music. But, I lack the physical skill to do so, and I lack the motivation to actually learn said skills.
>Love, the lazy fuck from yesterday.
Nice to see you're not as lazy as yesterday. heh
>Is Taylor Swift stalking you?
Yeah, she keeps writing songs about me too. Like, bitch, I dumped your ass. Fuck off.
do you go by the nick jelly?
>>768871094
ur more retarded then schizophrenic
>>768871094
>>Is Taylor Swift stalking you?
>Yeah, she keeps writing songs about me too. Like, bitch, I dumped your ass. Fuck off.
Meant for >>768866259
>>768866369
>synthetic marijuanna is a poison
At least you get some things correct.
But, as the saying goes, even a broken clock is correct twice a day.
>>768866718
>Is that exaggerated or is it really that terrifying?
It's exaggerated a bit, at least in my experience. I don't doubt that there are people who experience it worse than that though. Just not me.
>>768867358
>I want Shinobu to sit on my face!
Too bad, she's mai waifu.
>>768867734
>cannabis is neuroregenic, any age
No, no, it's not.
Cannabis can lead to plenty of psychotic disorders, especially if used by children, or young adults whose brains are undeveloped.
>>768867873
>Why do you're kind think black dicks are taking all the white women?
Why do you think it's "my kind" who think that?
if 99% of the world including literally 100% of people reading my words dissapeared tomorrow it would be a net benefit gain
>>768871634
>Cannabis can lead to plenty of psychotic disorders, especially if used by children, or young adults whose brains are undeveloped.
wrong ur a fucking dangerous retard spouting misinformation now, shut up schizophrenic, ur on a list nigger
>>768867893
>you ever automatically start categorizing people in your head?
Yes, paranoia is a bitch. It used to be extremely bad. I always thought people whom I'd trusted were out to get me. I still have the thoughts. But they don't completely take me over anymore.
>>768868247
>you just need to smoke weed
Don't listen to this guy. If you're actually developing Schizophrenia one of the worst things you can do is smoke weed.
If you want to smoke weed for fun, more power to you. But it won't cure Schizophrenia if anything it will accelerate its progression.
>>768868453
>recently went on SSRI's. trying to get my hands on some to see how it effects me.
Don't mix weed and SSRI's. It's bad practice.
Can you tell what’s real and what isn’t?
>>768871798
is not funny any more anon
just stop pretending
>>768872005
imhaving a hard time coming up with utility to respond to u faggot
whats not funny
elaborate for me tardtato
>>768872109
blacklisted
>>768872155
hahahah an algorithm with every human in the world in a databse on it has a little asterix next to ur name and every other name I and I alone have blackmarked. no joke nigger. better then a coin flip
>>768870861
>post nudes
Why would I do that?
>>768871017
>what was your most terryfying experience?
Night terrors accompanied by hallucinations.
Not fun.
>it would be nice if the story was detailed
There's not a lot of detail to it.
I just wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat and my heart racing usually start seeing shit like spiders hanging from the ceiling. Or animals in my bed.
Then I freak the fuck out trying to get whatever it is away from me.
>>768871109
>do you go by the nick jelly?
Uhhh..?
>>768871513
>ur more retarded then schizophrenic
You're 100% retarded.
>>768871798
>including literally 100% of people reading my words dissapeared tomorrow
That includes yourself, retard.
>>768871975
>Can you tell what’s real and what isn’t?
Most of the time, I can.
>>768872253
i could murder u in the street myself and i have the will to do so you stupid retarded dumbshit retard
>>768872243
are you serious?
>>768872331
>i could murder u in the street myself
Literally anyone could.
What's your point?
>you stupid retarded dumbshit retard
How superfluous.
What does Shinobu's butt smell like
>>768872395
blacklisted
>>768872460
shutup retard and kill yourself
>>768872460
he's trolling
nobody can be so retarded
Oh, it’s this fucking faggot again.
>>768872460
Is this anime even any good? Or do you just have a thing for little girls?
>>768857358
Why does it have to be Shino though?
Snail loli is obviously better
>>768872661
when ur rank 1 person in the world not all others combined equal me
also blacklisted
>>768872689
blacklisted
>>768872621
>blacklisted
i'm sorry anon
please forgive me
i´m gonna smoke weed everyday
>>768872802
you better cunt
>>768872600
>What does Shinobu's butt smell like
Donut glaze.
>>768872661
>he's trolling
Obviously, lol.
He's doing a really poor job at it too.
>>768872689
>Oh, it’s this fucking faggot again.
Hey, friend.
>>768872706
>Is this anime even any good?
I think it's pretty good.
>Or do you just have a thing for little girls?
Kind of.
>>768872749
>Snail loli is obviously better
See >>768860626
>>768872802
i can suck your dick
i can even wear a skirt and fuck your ugly ass
that's what you really want right?
>>768872935
I wouldn't know.
I haven't actually watched Monogatari
>>768872941
blacklisted
>>768873311
Bully ass mothetfucker looking ass bitchass bully mothetfucker bully sounding ass mothetfucker
>>768873022
>I haven't actually watched Monogatari
You should give it a try. It's pretty decent.
>>768873311
> I think I'm worth taking to
>I'm going to show this guy how he's not worth talking, by talking to him
Ya got me.
>you are just the only self-important one right now.
You're projecting a little too hard, Anon.
I never claimed to be important, nor do I think I am.
I'm just here killing time talking with some anons.
You're welcome to project your own insecurities about your self worth onto me though. I don't mind.
>>768857708
>Just feels like talking to someone I can relate to.
OP confirmed liar. I know what I'm talking about
>>768873814
>I know what I'm talking about
Shit, this guy is too smart. I'll never win now.
>>768873878
pw3nd
>>768873676
I'll be sure to try it Anon
>>768857708
>someone I can relate to
Full of fucking shit. Attention seeking liar. No more need for any (questions) in this thread. Fucking disgusting
>>768873676
>You should give it a try. It's pretty decent.
Monogatary is not pretty decent.
is que best chinize cartoon since Cowboy Beebop
>>768873942
>pw3nd
Damn, I better go cry in a corner.
>>768873986
>I'll be sure to try it Anon
Do tell if you enjoy it (or not).
>>768874013
>Full of fucking shit.
God damn it! I've been found again!
Where are all these smart people coming from?
>>768874016
>is que best chinize cartoon since Cowboy Beebop
I wouldn't go THAT far.
I think PsychoPass season 1 is better.
>>768874203
Be sure to make another thread sometime and I will report back in
>>768857358
Do you consider yourself to be in need/looking for attention?
Are you capable of being alone for extended periods of time? if not then why are you not actively taking measures to be with others?
Have you considered suicide? If so, did you make any attempts (albeit unsuccessful ones)?
What do you consider to be a hard question to answer? From the perspective of the answer being hard to admit, rather than you simply not knowing the answer.
>>768857358
I can relate man I got multi pal personalities got the bad side the quiet side and the happy side
diagnosed with bi polar Schizopherina and DID (dissociative identity disorder)
From one to another do you find it hard to trust people, If i meet someone with a friend ill always think about stabbing them i feel like its stuff from my past "i can get them before they get me" kind of thing as soon as i get to know someone though ill be loyal to that person
>>768857358
what severity level is your condition
>>768874266
>Be sure to make another thread sometime and I will report back in
There will likely be another one.
>>768874338
>Do you consider yourself to be in need/looking for attention?
Not particularly.
>Are you capable of being alone for extended periods of time?
Yes. I spend the huge majority of my time alone.
>Have you considered suicide?
Yes, I consider it every now and then. Never made an attempt though.
>What do you consider to be a hard question to answer?
The only questions I struggle with are ones that require me to look back into psychotic episodes. As, they're often very fuzzy and hard to remember with clarity.
>From the perspective of the answer being hard to admit, rather than you simply not knowing the answer.
I don't really have any issues (as far as I can tell) admitting things. I'm aware of my flaws for the most part. I can usually tell when I've made a mistake, or if I'm in the wrong. Or even if my behavior is not the most healthy.
I am able to identify bad behaviors, but I am unable to change them.
>>768874533
>diagnosed with bi polar Schizopherina and DID (dissociative identity disorder)
Something doesn't sound right about that, Anon.
Are all these diagnoses from the same psychiatrist? Or all different ones who came to the same conclusions?
I've never heard of someone being diagnosed with 3 different psychotic disorders.
I suspect your psychiatrist(s) may be drug pushers.
>do you find it hard to trust people
Yes, I have a lot of trust issues. I'm not sure why though. I always feel as if the people around me are out to get me.
>>768874598
>what severity level is your condition
On average it's about a 6/10. It stops me from doing a lot of the stuff I should be doing, or want to do.
On bad days it's like 9/10. Everything in my head just turns to static and I can't think or focus or even hold basic conversations.
>>768874785
What makes you believe you are unable to change your easily identified 'bad behavior'?
You have mentioned that you were once a violent adolescent. However are now a loner of sorts whom avoids confrontation (actively or not). Is this not change? Even if it is change due to circumstance and time, it is undeniable evidence that you are capable of changing.
In light of this, would you consider it possible that your schizophrenia is something entirely mental, and has no root in your birth? Are you open to the thought of losing such a self identifying trait?
>>768857358
Yes I have a question.
Why is it that some people tell me I should rinse my potatoes after I cut them up before cooking to rid of some of the starch, but when I don't do that step, my potatoes usually come out fine?
>>768875079
It's been so long friend, it's nice to see you again.
>>768857358
does it run in your family or did you is it just you that developed this condition, I'm curious since I'm going to be studying to become a psychologist and learning more about conditions interest me.
>>768875377
not op, but its because you don't care about the difference between 'fine' and 'fine but with less starch'
the majority of the starch is in the flesh of the potato anyway. washing potatoes is likely done to remove dirt and nonbeneficial micro-organisms; not to remove a negligible amount of starch.
>>768875079
got diagnosed with EUP when i was 16 by a Team in England called CAMHS... some stuff happend with the police at 17 made to see therapist still under CAMHS they diagnosed me with bi polar this time instead of EUP they also checked me out for DID but never said if i had it all good for a year was on some medication for my bi polar but always had outbursts and stuff never thought too much of it
to skip a long story short
>stuff happens where i live (police again)
>18 now have to pay for a adult psychatrist and NHS
>go to a few therapy sessions get diagnosed with DID
>now I did forget the mention since i was 16 iv taken hard drugs
>be me 22 very paraonid doing drugs alot (mostly acid and weed)
>start trying to get off hard drugs can see how it changes me
>still on my meds (but normally forget to take them)
>I was getting awful sadistic dreams about people who have hurt me in the past and thoughts in my head when i was around new people ( i never got this)
>got my self checked out I have drug induced schizophrenia
Hope that helped
>>768875079
What type of music do you listen to?
>>768875322
>What makes you believe you are unable to change your easily identified 'bad behavior'?
The fact that the behaviors still exist, despite the fact that I've tried many times to change a lot of them.
>Is this not change?
I don't believe it is, no. I would still react the same exact way today. The only difference is I'm able to restrain myself a little more. If someone starts pushing my buttons I'm more likely to tell them to fuck off rather than just lose my shit and start being the hell out of them.
It's an improvement, not a change.
Like putting a patch over a hole in a tire. You didn't change the tire.
>would you consider it possible that your schizophrenia is something entirely mental, and has no root in your birth?
I don't quite follow?
>Are you open to the thought of losing such a self identifying trait?
I don't really self-identify as a Schizophrenic. It's part of my life, but not who I am.>>768875459
>It's been so long friend, it's nice to see you again.
Hello again, Anon
How has it been?
>>768875377
>Why is it that some people tell me I should rinse my potatoes after I cut them up before cooking to rid of some of the starch,
Because if you make fries, or whatever you'll have the starchy flavor leftover. It'll taste more like a raw potato. Some people like that, some don't. It's up to you.
>>768875764
Jesus fucking christ, I came here for answers from a schizophrenic and I get a reply from a regular old anon. Fucking asshole. This site is such garbage nowadays
>>768876274
>>768875768
>Hope that helped
That does clear it up quite a bit, thanks.
>>768875775
>What type of music do you listen to?
I like a lot of different stuff, here's a list of some of my favorites.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgoAgYR4584
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5M-jOZRe0-8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycYewhiaVBk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql_P7DvyvcM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQ406b9ljM4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nlSDxvt6JU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7bKe_Zgk4o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9F4SbKfLv5A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ANzhPJZ2U0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCXsRoyFRQE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5G76zD7lbGA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0_ardwzTrA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55JUpfyPeg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZDOJ_tBEDw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zECISXSYOw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuJqUvBj4rE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhHGDOgjie4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPrQLqYvRf8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzGFEr9oy14
>>768876274
>I came here for answers from a schizophrenic and I get a reply from a regular old anon
You got your reply, Anon! Don't be mad.
Do you enjoy how having schizophrenia gives you a uniqueness in the world? Think about it, so many people are boring "clones", with the same opinions, experiences and beliefs as the majority. But you, you're special. You experience life in a way no one else does, you get to see things other people can't. Sure it's hard to concentrate sometimes, but your mind is never empty. It must be so amazing, always subconsciously digesting thoughts and experiences, visualising events and ideas, without even trying! Schizophrenia may seem like a curse, but I think with the proper training, your brain can achieve amazing things! A lot of people struggle to visualise things they've never seen before, but you, just by thinking about it, can see anything!
You probably don't agree with me, but I'd rather lose control over my thoughts, and use it to explore things I wouldn't even think about, than be in total control and struggle to recall everything I know.
Tl;dr schizophrenia gives you an incredible subconscious that, while you have no control over, can allow you to drift through life painlessly.
Of course, I just made all that up. But...it would be so cool if it were true! It's true.....right?
And don't say "Oh I don't really have control over the voices and they don't help me out that much" because that can't be true! It just seems too interesting a phenomenon to be random gibberish, and even if it is it can't be that bad!
I...just think that people with schizophrenia are really cool...alright? They go around seeing things, hearing things, just being better than everyone else. Everyone I know with a mental disorder (especially psychotic) is always so interesting to be around. Why are the only interesting people "mentally ill"!?
It just doesn't make sense, if someone is really passionate about something and ignores people because of it, then they get labelled with autism. If someone has a powerful brain, able to think many thoughts at once and see what they're thinking about, they get labelled with "schizophrenia"!
Why are the only good people broken ones! I..I don't understand...
I wish I had a mental disorder, preferably schizophrenia. To be that in and out of touch with myself, never sure of anything but always sure of nothing...ahh, it's a dream come true!
You must be such an interesting person, I bet people get scared off initially but then when you talk to them more they find out that you're actually an amazing person who they fall in love with just like an anime...
It must be so beautiful, you are so beautiful...
I just wish I could be too...
>>768857358
what is schizophrenia for you?
>>768877204
>Do you enjoy how having schizophrenia gives you a uniqueness in the world?
I do enjoy the concept of being different. Being part of the unwashed masses does not appeal to me.
>But you, you're special.
I wouldn't go that far.
>but your mind is never empty.
I don't think that's a good thing, the majority of the time.
>It must be so amazing
It has its times. But for the most part, it's not.
>can allow you to drift through life painlessly.
Painless, it is not. I've suffered a great deal of pain in my life due to it. It's not something I'd wish on anyone else.
>>768877280
>And don't say "Oh I don't really have control over the voices and they don't help me out that much"
They really don't help very much at all. It's more of a nuisance than anything else. They just get in the way of me being able to process thoughts.
Here's a little experiment, get a pair of headphones. Turn them all the way up, go to YT find a video of just a big group of people talking and listen to it. Try to think about something. It's far harder than it would appear.
>I wish I had a mental disorder, preferably schizophrenia.
You really don't. It's not good to glorify things like mental disorders.
>I just wish I could be too...
What makes you so sure that you aren't?
>>768877476
>what is schizophrenia for you?
Can you be more specific?
.
Bumpo
.
when i smoke weed occasionally and do certain drugs I hear voices.
they're like people I know that sound like they're talkin in the next room over and commentating on what im doing and are always brutally mean in a cutting accurate way that no one in real life would never really be.
am I almost schezo and is this what it is like?
never had any visual things but the audio thing I just described is really bad and sometimes I get it when I dont do drugs.
>>768879991
>when i smoke weed occasionally and do certain drugs I hear voices.
It's probably just because of the drugs.
THC is a psychoactive drug, that can cause
acute psychosis.
>am I almost schezo
Doubtful. It's more than likely just a side effect of the drugs.
>and is this what it is like?
Regarding the voices, yes. That's quite similar. But there's a lot more to it than just hearing voices.
>and sometimes I get it when I dont do drugs.
The thing about a drug-induced psychotic state is that it can linger, or even onset a while after you've done them.
I have no idea what I have, I probably have something as normal people wouldn't write an essay that slowly gets more sad and depressive while also showing a horribly misguided mindset slowly crawling out, starting with hints, but getting more excessive until full blown "people with mental disorders are better than me".
Do you ever get so engrossed in writing something that at the time you think is true, but later you realised it was just completely false, Even though it felt true at the time?
Do you think it's possible to give yourself a mental disorder? Let's say that I really, really want schizophrenia, not because it'll give me headaches and make my life harder, but because I see schizophrenic people as beautiful. So I pretend to have it. Some people are better at this than others, most people have concrete personalities that don't vary much, but some people can competely change who they are at any point. But within this category, there are the real people with mental disorders, and "fakers".
People who think that life is too boring to live normally, so why not pretend to be anyone? Who needs concrete personality traits and defined morals? For example, most people think of me as asexual, as I ignore women and pretend to become very uncomfortable even sitting next to them, but some people know me as the most disgusting pervert they've ever met! I've done BDSM, (dom and sub), cbt, even sounding for fucks sake!
Some people know me as a quiet nerdy person who would never go outside, and some people know me as a party-loving drug addict thats done a whole lot more than weed and cocaine.
Is this a mental disorder, do I have DID or something? NO, of course not! Why? Because I was in control the whole time. I chose to play those roles, I chose to live that. I know what I'm doing, and I'm doing what I enjoy!
>>768857358
Hi Mr. Schizophrenic, hope you are well.
That's all.
That is the key difference between mental disorders and personality quirks. I love personality quirks, I'm infatuated by them. But real mental disorders, where you're not in control of what's happening in your head, now that's terrifying.
That's why I only love the idea of schizophrenia. But here's the thing, there comes a point where, as you've been acting as so many different people, that you forget.
You forget...who you are.
I don't remember who I was; it's certainly not who I am now. The mold sticks, and it's hard to get out of.
Here's my question: If you spend long enough idolising mental disorders, replicating them, engraining them into your soul, can you lose control? And fall...deep into the pit of madness.
I'm not scared of many things, but out of everything, this is my greatest fear.
Biw many hospital stays didbit take before you realised you had a psychiatric disorder?
>>768880947
>Do you ever get so engrossed in writing something that at the time you think is true, but later you realised it was just completely false,
I don't really write, so in that regard, no. Other than the stuff that I post here.
>Even though it felt true at the time?
This I can very easily relate to. I often have thoughts I get engrossed in and cannot fathom them being untrue. Then some time later I'll recall the thought, and cannot understand how I even came to believe it.
It's something that happens to me a lot.
A lot.
>Do you think it's possible to give yourself a mental disorder?
Very much so, not in the sense that you can just be like "I wanna be crazy" and then turn crazy.
But, in the sense that if you lie to yourself enough you'll eventually believe your own lies. Which is essentially willfully deluding yourself.
People who suffer from things like DID actually create the disorder(usually). They make themselves the way they are. Although not by choice.
Once you do something like this, there is NO going back.
>Is this a mental disorder, do I have DID or something?
No, you have a personality disorder more than likely.
>>768880990
>Hi Mr. Schizophrenic,
That posting style.
The use of Mr.
Capitalization on Schizo.
Did you post here yesterday?
Also, hello, friend.
>hope you are well.
I'm doing okay. How about yourself?
>>768881013
>can you lose control?
Yes. You very much can lose control.
The fact that you ask that question, and that you're afraid of it happening, proves that you're well on your path.
I suggest you change your behavior before it's too late.
>>768881185
>Biw many hospital stays didbit take before you realised you had a psychiatric disorder?
Phew, there anon. That's a big ol' mess.
I have never been committed to a mental hospital.
>>768882037
>That posting style.
>The use of Mr.
>Capitalization on Schizo.
>Did you post here yesterday?
Nope
>>768882256
>Nope
Oh, carry on.
>>768857358
Nice to read you again, Anon!
I was some kind of impressed yesterday, how calm you seemed to me in your reactions, but that's also true for the unexpectedly low level of general nonsense and brain flatulency, which for today, seems back to normal proportions. And still, you're at best a bit more distantly sarcastic, but overall manage to stay polite. I for myself am probably (that's how it seems to me at the moment) way more emotional and can only imagine it as intensively exhausting.
What ever your motives may be, to host such threads, I really do appreciate your effort. I do believe, that the way, you're granting insights, does change prepositions much more effectively, than any kind of general source could achieve. Respect and thanks for doing so!
Do you ever find that, even with things you've spent hundreds of hours on, you sometimes forget you've ever done it? I find this happens so often it's unbelievable. It's like my "self" is fragmented, I forget the parts that don't fit the scene.
Fuck, I came here to have fun and relate to a schizo, not to have an existencial crisis about how my life is a lie...
now i just want to cry....
>>768858315
I would recommend seeing a mental health professional immediately for your own well being. I dont think you are crazy, I see a mental health professional and I only have depression.
>>768882740
>Nice to read you again, Anon!
I eagerly awaited your return.
>I was some kind of impressed yesterday, how calm you seemed to me in your reactions
I do try my best to remain calm in everything I do. If I can manage to stay calm, everyone around me seems to follow suit. It seems to make a more enjoyable experience for everyone.
>but that's also true for the unexpectedly low level of general nonsense and brain flatulency, which for today, seems back to normal proportions.
I don't quite understand what you mean here.
>can only imagine it as intensively exhausting.
It's actually quite the opposite, I find.
>I really do appreciate your effort.
I'm glad that you've enjoyed it.
>I do believe, that the way, you're granting insights, does change prepositions much more effectively, than any kind of general source could achieve.
That's partly why I do this. Even just the chance that someone could learn something.
>Respect and thanks for doing so!
You're quite welcome.
List your fav animus other than monogatari series
>>768882929
>Do you ever find that, even with things you've spent hundreds of hours on, you sometimes forget you've ever done it?
Yes, my memory has gotten pretty bad. It doesn't happen often that I forget things on that scale. But it does happen.
>Fuck, I came here to have fun and relate to a schizo
Is that really why you came here? That's not what your actions say.
>about how my life is a lie...
We all live lies, Anon.
>now i just want to cry....
Sometimes crying is for the better. The fact that it has had an emotional response for you shows that the way your life is, isn't how you want it to be.
So change it, you're the only one who can.
>>768871798
What's it like knowing OP is more sensible than you are.
>>768857358
Who is "they"?
And why are they watching you?
>>768857358
>greentext any stories
>>768883925
>List your fav animus other than monogatari series
(in no particular order)
Nichijou
Azumanga Daiyoh
Kuragehime
Isshukan Friends
Madoka
Sayonara Zetsubo Sensei
Blood-c/blood+
PsychoPass
Mirai Nikki
EurekaseveN/AO
Yuru Yuri
I'll be here all day if I keep going....
>>768884405
>Who is "they"?
They are the watchers, obviously.
>And why are they watching you?
It's what they do.
>>768884508
>greentext any stories
>A few days ago
>I walked outside to check my mail
>The mailbox was empty
>I walked back to my yard and pet my dog
>Then went inside, and let my dog inside.
The end.
I...don't remember why I came here. After reading yesterdays thread, I just couldn't concentrate throughout today. I didn't know why, but I felt like everything you said related to me in some deep way that I didn't understand, and that I could easily write essays worth of words about. I..don't know what to say anymore, other than sorry. I know everything I've said doesn't make sense, because I don't make sense, but...you still read it. And now I'm crying, and I don't know why. I've been such a stupid person, trying to be everyone to do everything. I suppose the only thing I could say is thank you. You helped a fellow anon in more ways than you can possibly imagine.... You know what I'm going through, and...I...I'm going to go now, I hope that one day in the future, we'll meet again, and I'll truly be myself.
describe your personality?
and whats your favorite games?
also good choice in waifu
>>768885701
>other than sorry.
You've no need to apologize, Anon.
>and...I...I'm going to go now
I hope to see you around again sometime.
If you decide you want to chat, you can add me on Discord: Laxeris#4748
Take it easy Anon, don't beat yourself up too much.
>>768886077
>describe your personality?
I've been told that I'm a calm and easy going person. "Chill" is how people describe me in real life.
>and whats your favorite games?
Dark Souls is my all time favorite.
DS3 is my number 2
and D2 is my 3rd.
The Amnesia games, as well as the Penumbra games.
Some old games from early consoles, like Dark Cloud, Conker's Bad Fur Day, GoldenEye. The early Resident Evil games. RE2 was my favorite. 1, 3 and 4 were also great.
I'm sure there are loads more, but that's all I can think of off the top of my head.
>also good choice in waifu
Thanks, Anon.
>>768886437
i struggle to believe you know people that didnt know you when you physically assaulted everyone as a teen.
why do these people call you chill when you have said you have not changed from the person you were?
chill people dont easily have their buttons pushed and then tell people to fuck off or physically assault them.
this sounds like youre full of shit or you are so mentally imbalanced that you self identify as something different, every time you think about it. You have a personality disorder anon.
>>768883768
>I eagerly awaited your return.
Feeling a bit ashamed about that. Just hoped to see you hosting a new thread today.
>It seems to make a more enjoyable experience for everyone.
For sure it does, but that alone won't make it achievable for everyone.
>I don't quite understand what you mean here.
Jep, I'm sorry, there's something missing: *flatulency "in your thread" (meaning the typical "rude" /b-style commentary culture or those practicing it).
>That's partly why I do this.
And that's what honors you!
>>768886437
nice! i used to love watching amnesia playthroughs when i was younger because i was way too pussy to play them myself. i remember how excited i was for machine for pigs to come out. good choice in games!
how about music?
>>768886864
>i struggle to believe you know people that didnt know you when you physically assaulted everyone as a teen.
A fair few people in my life know about my past. But, that's what it is. My past.
>why do these people call you chill when you have said you have not changed from the person you were?
Presumably because they find my presence enjoyable. I don't go around beating the shit out of people anymore. Most people don't care about what happened.
>chill people dont easily have their buttons pushed
That couldn't be further from the truth.
>and then tell people to fuck off
On the scale of "chill reactions" telling someone to fuck off when they're being annoying is pretty low. It's not like I start shouting and yelling at them to fuck off. It's just a calm "fuck off" or something to the extent of "go away, stop doing that"
>or physically assault them.
As I said, I've not assaulted anyone in over 8 years.
>You have a personality disorder anon.
You're probably right.
>>768887120
>because i was way too pussy to play them myself.
Playing them was the best way to experience them. The raw emotions they invoked was the best.
>how about music?
See: >>768877035
If you want some more I'd be glad to post.
>>768877204
As another schizophrenic I understand what you are saying the highs are fantastic and interesting and unique close to the best thing in the world sometimes and worth it to a point but you've never had the lows the lows aren't worth it and u wish everyday I could be normal again
>>768887033
>Feeling a bit ashamed about that.
Why? You're the one who stuck out the most to me yesterday. You're the one who I enjoyed talking to the most, even though our conversations were short.
>Just hoped to see you hosting a new thread today.
And I hoped that you'd join me again today.
>but that alone won't make it achievable for everyone.
Sadly, it won't. But, not everyone wants to join in, you know?
>*flatulency "in your thread" (meaning the typical "rude" /b-style commentary culture or those practicing it).
Ohh, I see. I try not to practice that sort of /b/ehavior. Unless for comedic effect (usually).
>>768887720
>but you've never had the lows the lows aren't worth it and u wish everyday I could be normal again
This anon speaks the truth.
>>768887620
>thats what it is. my past
Then youre a changed man, anon. Its ok to accept you have changed for the better. Learn one day that change comes in many forms. In every case, you are not the person you were.
You havent assaulted anyone in over 8 years, is that because you are no longer in an environment where assaulting people is common place, or because you have changed. choose one anon. Hell you can choose both if you want, but you cant choose neither.
>>768887620
i was about 12 when amnesia came out, and i had a shitty computer that wouldnt even run the demo. though i have it on my current pc, but ive yet to even play it! i agree though, raw emotions are best
oh! sorry i totally missed that post. eternal youth is great, and ive loved snails house for a long time! also good taste. post moar
When I listen to music I will hear my mother my name, whether or not she is home she doesn't ever do that though.
>>768888167
do you ever regret cutting off your former friends?
Also studies show Weed seems to bring out schizophrenia early in some people, there is a rapper who killed himself and I believe this is why he just wasn't aware
>>768887720
When I smoked a hell of weed for several months it brought about a psychotic episode and I experienced feelings much like this. At times my life could feel blissful, peaceful, pure ecstasy... and then I'd sooner or later become the worst fit of fear, panic, doom, and gloom I wouldn't wish on anyone. Glad that's all behind me; I really did convince myself I was past the point of no return.
>>768889271
I smoked a lot of weed when I was young and I don't actually know if that contributed to my condition but it was better than having headaches, anyway I'm smoking a different strain of weed and it seems to be helping me now before it was just making it worse
>>768888167
>I try not to practice that sort of /b/ehavior
For sure you don't. Sorry again for offering this meaning! On this item it was /b, I was impressed by ;) - the picture, I was getting from your writing, couldn't have been farther away from that.
English isn't my first language (probably obvious by now) and beeing tired, doesn't make it any better. It's late here and I'm off now. Surely will read you again.
All the best!
>>768888926
>Then youre a changed man, anon.
I don't believe that.
It may appear that way on the outside, but on the inside, I'm still the same person.
To use the tire analogy again: Just because the hole has a patch, doesn't mean the hole is gone. It just means its been superficially patched, and pushed to the side. If ever the tire were to give out again, it would likely be in the same place.
People don't change, they just pretend to change.
>is that because you are no longer in an environment where assaulting people is common place,
It's mostly because I don't interact with many people, and when I do, they don't push my buttons.
>>768889023
>i was about 12 when amnesia came out
Aww, you're just a little kiddo.
>sorry i totally missed that post.
No worries.
>post moar
I'll post some more in a bit.
>>768889087
>When I listen to music I will hear my mother my name,
That's somewhat concerning, Anon.
>>768889271
thats called depression, anon. most predicked teen girls will have this in the form of needing to cut themselves and put the wounds on Instagram so that they can validate that they do exist.
you had it in the form of being afraid of yourself being altered by drugs permanently. That because you were now so mentally mutilated, you would be unable to continue a life worth living. everyone eventually works it out and gets that catharsis feeling for a while.
the thing to take away from this is, weed isnt the problem. its the human condition. you should be glad you something as simple as a weed binge to blame, instead of something like a fucked up childhood or family; something that takes til your late 50's to disperse from casual memory.
>>768890055
I meant to say, say my name, happens often tbh, not even loud just blends in with whatever noise is going on
>>768889853
>Sorry again for offering this meaning!
No need to apologize.
>On this item it was /b, I was impressed by
I realized that after I posted it.
>English isn't my first language (probably obvious by now)
Actually, your English is better than a lot of people I talk with here. I only realized that it probably wasn't your first language from this line "Sorry again for offering this meaning!"
If you're still around, what's your first language?
>The picture, I was getting from your writing, couldn't have been farther away from that.
Are you referring to the picture I posted?
>It's late here and I'm off now.
Sleep well. Hope to see you again. Sweet dreams.
>>768890634
Nah nigga fuck that, if this path turns down this street I know the only exit, mental illness does run in the family but no cases of schizophrenia
>>768890055
>little kiddo
how old are you, shinobu-non?
i look forward to the music!
>>768890055
>people dont change, they just pretend.
Thats literally just incorrect. Humans age/mature physically and mentally. You change every time you learn something new. You change as soon as you dont do something in a situation where you would have done that something if it were even mere minutes ago.
Dont inhibit your own growth (though you can never truly stop it) by telling others and believing that you arent capable of change. I think if you met the same kids that you assaulted a few years ago today, you wouldnt act the same way. Maybe you would still push him aside and yell, but I think youre able to discern a line somewhat, that if you were to cross, the consequences would far outweigh the catharsis from the assault, even in your rage.
I asked earlier if you were open to the thought that your schizophrenia was a purely mental disorder, and has no root in your birth. I believe you should explore that thought. Even just momentarily, whenever it suits your environment. Just think that maybe you have the physical potential to be a totally 'normal' dude in your own eyes.
>>768889023
Not really music, but it's a neat little video I found scrolling through my favorites.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmPvjZKBNYY
>post moar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XpQI0ztOic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ws3Xd6SWFCs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zJJidE17Ks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9vpfq82LJ8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDgdoPSkPnM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSRLHccN7hU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ijd5Lxfa53I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgRf_IJJzPc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2de2MHIzNbg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1dOovoMlRs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbQgXeY_zi4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lVOzOBcrm0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6ih1aKeETk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZdsmLgCVdU
This list gives a bit more variety to what I listen to.
>>768890898
>Nah nigga fuck that
Suit yourself, friend.
>>768890936
>how old are you, shinobu-non?
Turned 26 last month.
>>768890085
I was certainty depressed, as I was before and after abusing THC and other substances, but there's a lot more to what I experienced that I intentionally want to leave out. Some features still linger with me to this day, although they have drastically improved and I hope that continues.
>fucked up childhood or family
Checked.
I couldn't function in nearly any situation, and I lost control, lost all of my friends, and made my life hell. Getting on the happy pills and living without any intoxicants has been the only way I have regained control and re-balanced my head chemistry. I did several months without any drugs or intoxicants before I got on SSRIs but I was wasting valuable time waiting to get better without any results.
>>768857358
wanna fug?
I like this thread, it makes me feels confortable somehow.
Yet IDK why, any idea about Why could ir be?
-salu2
>>768891647
because youre diseased. dont sign your comments on 4chan with an anon id.
>>768890963
>Thats literally just incorrect.
>You change every time you learn something new.
Oh, to be so naively optimistic.
>I think if you met the same kids that you assaulted a few years ago today, you wouldnt act the same way.
I don't. Sure, I may not jump to violence as the first course of action. But it would very quickly devolve into violence.
If that's what you define as change, then I have changed. But, that's not how I see it. Violence will almost always be my first desired reaction to a negative scenario. It's who I am, it's ingrained in my being. There is no changing that.
I can pretend to change by not always acting on that desire. But deep down, it will always be there.
>I asked earlier if you were open to the thought that your schizophrenia was a purely mental disorder, and has no root in your birth.
I still don't really know what you mean by that.
>>768891276
>wanna fug?
Well, look who it is.
>>768891647
>I like this thread, it makes me feels confortable somehow.
That seems to be a recurring theme.
>any idea about Why could ir be?
That, I don't know.
I can't believe this thread is still up op are you even here?
>>768892100
>op are you even here?
Nope. I'm not here. Are you?
>>768892015
>Well, look who it is.
You don't remember my name do you
>>768892542
>You don't remember my name do you
I'm really bad with names, give me a hint?
I've give a guess....
Kek?
>>768891120
i thoroughly enjoy this music! theres a few in there that i listen to myself. i feel like youd like pendulum, have you listened to them?
>26
ah i see, i turned 20 a few months back
>>768892766
It starts with M
>>768892015
>dont know what you mean
How do you feel about you not being born with schiz. That you may have developed it and have been unable to purposefully shake it off for extended periods of time.
It may be possible for you to one day find yourself to have truly changed. To be in a position that would have once, without a doubt, thrown you into a wild fit of hallucinations of imagery and feeling, but instead you feel nothing but the logical response you would expect a "normal" person to experience.
Even if you are physically inhibited, and you will never be able to truly lose the trait, schizophrenia; I think you have enough mental fortitude to one day find and hold onto the belief and/or knowledge that you influence your inhibitors, more than they influence you.
>>768892015
>It's who I am, it's ingrained in my being. There is no changing that.
I think that earlier you said that someone can induce mental disorders to themselves, don't you think that someone can induce changes to his personality?
Bump what is the symptoms for schizofrenia ??
Do you here voices of a girl and a guy thet corse you tell you are a zero and you should kill your salf ?
Do you think some one follow you ?
Do you love greek filosofia ?
Do you see demons and Satan ?
Do some girl and guy tell you to jump tell you good morning ?
Do you feel the malncholic ?
I am schizophrenic to :) tell me about your problems ?
>>768893196
>i feel like youd like pendulum, have you listened to them?
Yeah, I don't listen to them too frequently anymore though.
>ah i see, i turned 20
Oh, not as young as I thought. Still pretty young.
>>768893208
>It starts with M
M....
M.....?
Come on man, I'm crazy! You gotta give me more than that!
Hey scitzOP, DID anon here!
>>768893210
>How do you feel about you not being born with schiz. That you may have developed it
The idea doesn't invoke any sort of emotional response if that's what you mean. I just believe that's more likely that I was born with it due to what I've experienced in my life.
It's quite possible that I am wrong and I developed it.
>It may be possible for you to one day find yourself to have truly changed.
That is something I simply cannot believe. All evidence contradicts that. Nothing changes.
>you influence your inhibitors, more than they influence you.
You know, I might believe that. If I didn't also give people the same advice. I know it's a lie. Just something to cling on to. The light at the end of the tunnel you'll never be able to reach.
Everything in the world points the opposite way.
>>768893261
>don't you think that someone can induce changes to his personality?
No, I don't.
>>768893591
>Bump what is the symptoms for schizofrenia ??
Google would be your best bet for that.
>Do you here voices of a girl and a guy thet corse you tell you are a zero and you should kill your salf ?
Nope.
>Do you think some one follow you ?
All the time.
>Do you love greek filosofia ?
Yes, Diogenes is my top Greek Philosopher.
>Do you see demons and Satan ?
Nope.
>Do some girl and guy tell you to jump tell you good morning ?
Nope.
>Do you feel the malncholic ?
All the time.
>I am schizophrenic to
Sorry to hear that, Anon.
>tell me about your problems ?
That's too broad. I have a lot of problems.
>>768894157
>Hey scitzOP, DID anon here!
Holy shit, it's been a minute.
How's it hanging?
>>768894549
How many NEETbucks do you get each month OP?
>>768894635
>How many NEETbucks do you get each month OP?
Just enough to pay my bills and eat.
>>768857358
Op can you give me your Kik or mail I wanna ask you something ??
I have the same problems but I don't know how to tell this to the world
I am 30 old allready and I never had a gf bcoz the voices in my fucking head
What your Kik ? Maybe you can help me ?
I see crazy things some days like spiders and really tall trees I see people in the mirror or some ports of them like eyes and hands :( and no one can help me
I don't want to go to doctors I definitely can deal with it myslaf but I need some good advice from people like me
One day I sow evrey porsen from the master and margarita book by Michel bolgakov I sow Satan as the cut I sow the naked women's it was fucked up
Please halp tell me how did they diagnosed you ? What did you told the doctors ?
Please answer I don't won't to go to the other dimension I still want to stay in this dimension and live me life please answer me op please
>>768893652
And ends with artin
Why was i kicked out of the donut hut?
>>768894549
oh you know, just hanging out with me myself and I, all 10 different personalities of myself haha wbu?
>>768857358
Now I got diagnosed with a bunch of shit as a kid, never took meds for anything, and I just decided to STOP being retarded, got retested this year, lady said at most I have ADD, so, have you ever just tried to stop not being normal? Worked for me.
>>768894705
I can't get a precise number? Lame! I wanna how well off you are with the money you get. Do you live in a shack? Parent's mansion? Basement? Trailer park? Suburbia? Do you have any nice things? Do you drive?
>>768895038
God I hope he doesn't drive, I'd hope the U.S. is at least keeping schitzos off the rode
>>768894717
>Op can you give me your Kik or mail I wanna ask you something ??
You can add me on Discord: Laxeris#4748
It's my go-to these days.
>>768894717
>I don't want to go to doctors I definitely can deal with it myslaf but I need some good advice from people like me
If you want help, a doctor is your best bet. At the end of the day, I'm in the same boat as you.
>Please halp tell me how did they diagnosed you ?
It was just a long process of talking.
>What did you told the doctors ?
I just told them what I was going through.
>>768894757
>And ends with artin
Martin..?
Not ringing any bells..
>Why was i kicked out of the donut hut?
Hm, I don't know. I've only ever kicked like 4 people, and they all got banned. Your name wasn't on that list.
>>768894769
>oh you know, just hanging out with me myself and I, all 10 different personalities of myself haha
Sounds like a party and a half. lol
>wbu?
Listening to music and posting here. Considering if I should get ready for bed or stay up a few more hours
>>768893652
i get you, i like only a few of their songs but it seemed like your type.
i either meet people on here older than me or younger, never my age.
i would add you on discord but! im full of anxiety
nice thread :)
>>768895195
Just yesterday I drove my new 3.2l v6 for 5 hours straight right after a 7 hour bus trip
u mad?
>>768895240
kinda jealous of schitzos because at least some have the ability to see the voices as a hallucinated person, whereas I am stuck with my voices being all from myself, gets crowded in here, sometimes claustrophobic
>>768894549
God damn you are me :( I have the same problems but even worst
I love filosofia and same as you I love diagenus platon I love all the Greek the German the franch filosofs it fucked my head completely
It's like I love this things and I live them it's like diagen is here
Do you love dostayevski to ?
How do you sleep ? Do you have nightmares as me of some mother fuckers coming and tell you they are your ancestors and they will stay with you antil you die or killl yourself ? :(
What's your Kik ? How can I get neet mount from thet ?
I am from Poland btw
>>768894792
>stop not being normal?
Oh shit. I never thought of that, Anon.
You should be a psychiatrist.
>>768895038
>I can't get a precise number?
Nope!
>Do you live in a shack?
No, just a little house in the middle of nowhere.
>Do you have any nice things?
I have a computer and a house.
>Do you drive?
Nope.
>>768895195
>God I hope he doesn't drive
I probably drive better than you, shitlord.
>>768895352
>i would add you on discord but! im full of anxiety
If you ever overcome that anxiety, the offer stands.
>>768895404
>nice thread :)
That picture.
It can't be.
Can it?
>>768895425
>kinda jealous of schitzos because at least some have the ability to see the voices as a hallucinated person,
That doesn't really happen for me though.
>sometimes claustrophobic
I can relate to that.
>>768895554
>Do you love dostayevski to ?
I've never read any of his stuff. But, I've done a bit of research on his stuff. I do enjoy it.
>How do you sleep ?
Poorly. Very poorly.
>Do you have nightmares
I very rarely dream, but when I do. They're almost always nightmares.
>What's your Kik ?
I don't use Kik, only Discord.
>How can I get neet mount from thet ?
What?
>>768894792
I've tried that, some times I wonder if I just woke up and chose to be a piece of shit but I literally cannot clear my head most of the time so idk maybe I'm not trying hard enough
>>768895919
Sure it can :)
Also, what is it?
>>768895919
this is DID-anon, i sent discord friend request
404
>>768896137
>Sure it can :)
Hmm. Maybe it can.
>Also, what is it?
If I remember correctly, you and I sat in one of these threads about... 17 months ago with no one else. Just talking to eachother.
Amirite?
>>768896202
>this is DID-anon, i sent discord friend request
Accepted.
>>768896565
>404
Thanks anon.
>>768896678
Oh, well it appears the thread reached the bump limit.
I may make another one after this one 404s.
I'll need to ponder it for a little while.
>>768895919
Next week I going to a doctor
To Diagnosed my Schizophrenia
How many time do I need to go to the doctor so he Diagnosed me with thet ? I wanna get money from thet to ?
>>768896678
My memory isn't really one to be trusted, but that does ring a bell. We talked about the advantages of thinking wordlessly, right?
Always nice to see one of your threads!
>>768896806
>How many time do I need to go to the doctor so he Diagnosed me with thet ?
It will probably take a few months.
>I wanna get money from thet to ?
That's something you'll have to look up. I don't know the laws in Poland.
>>768896861
>We talked about the advantages of thinking wordlessly, right?
I do recall that.
>Always nice to see one of your threads!
Glad you stopped in to say hi.
