Ylyl >Greentext edition
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Ylyl
>Greentext edition
>>767445760
Why do I always lose to dumb shit like loop zoop
>>767445760
Lost
>>767445760
>had wisdom tooth removed
>asked the nurse what they gave me, got her to write it in my phone because I was too fucked up to remember
>look at phone and see what what she wrote when she gives it back - fentanyl and ketamine
>don't know what fentanyl is but pretty stoked to be on ketamine
>buy a cheap bottle of wine to scull make the most of it
>go home listen to techno and drink
>look up fentanyl
>oh shit it's an opiate 50x more potent than heroin
>best night I can't remember in ages
>pic related
>>767448403
Took her leg and butted down her throat.
I like the cut of your jib sir.
>>767445760
either a liar or a lightweight
>>767448110
yeah man goddamn that shit is a good time.
>>767448544
checked for classics
>>767449051
>cut of your jib
Nice
>Be me
>Coming home from a good weekend with friends
>Drank a lot ate lots of greasy food
>Driving down a rural highway
>It hits me
>I gotta shit
>I GOTTA SHIT BAD
>No rest stops, nothing for awhile
>Get heavy on the gas trying to speed to find something
>Probably doing close to 90mph
>My stomach and insides are churning
>Feels like they are being tied in knots it hurts so bad
>Red and blue lights
>FUCKKKKKKKK
>Move over and slow down hope the state trooper goes around
>Nope he wants me to pull over
>Pull over
>I'm basically in a cold sweat I gotta go so bad
>Waiting for him to come over
>Fuck it I have to go I'm not passing this shit in my car
>Get out
>He starts yelling at me to get in my vehicle
>Nope not gonna happen
>Walk to the passenger side of my car
>He's still giving me commands
>I'm on auto pilot
>Lord Shitus is in control now
>Hope I don't get tased and pass out in my own feces
>I drop my pants and squat he has worked his way over to me now
>Shining his flash light on me taser drawn
>"Sir I need you to calm down"
>As soon as he says it I unleash
>Atorrent of liquid foul smelling shit explodes from my ass
>It's like the brown Niagra falls
>I feel my body draining everything this is the way I die.
>Trooper has put his taser down started gagging
>Actually vomits
>I push out the largest steamiest dense log I have ever shat
>Feels like I have been raped with my own log
>Basically trembling at this point I feel weak
>Clean with what little napkins and sanitizerI have
>I have never felt so empty, so concave
>Trooper has retreated to his cruiser
>Probably trying to process the horrors he just witnessed
>Walk over to the trooper
>Say "I'm sorry I had to poop"
>He asks if that unholy thing I just did was the reason for driving fast
>I tell him it was
>>767450966
Part 2
>Gives me a written warning
>Says had to use the facilities as reason for speeding
>Can tell he's trying to keep a straight face
>You have a good night now
>Drive to nearest rest stop and wash profusely
>Change clothes
>Try to forget that night
>>767445760
>Hmm, I found who was behind of it...
>>767451338
I would like to point out that double bladed axes are made that way because it allows the axe to still be weighted for swinging while also having a backup side to chop with when the first starts to dull. That way you don't have to stop and sharpen or switch axes.
>>767448650
lost
>>767448277
Boi
>>767451530
Thanks was wondering myself
>>767451640
No problem. A chopping axe, like the one pictured, has a thinner tapering blade. It's made to dig deep and come out easy. The only axe that necessitates a flat back would be a splitting axe. It has a much thicker, heavier head. It's meant to drop straight through a log, top to bottom. If it gets stuck, like will tend to happen with newer logs that haven't dried out properly, you can smack it with a sledge to finish the split.
>>767450966
ty anon, made my day much brighter
>>767448277
Kek
>>767451097
Incredible
>>767448110
>Had wisdom teeth stolen
>Best night in ages
Make sure you're registered as an organ donor.
>>767448762
Fake. 9/11 happened on a tuesday, what kind of person hosts a house party on a monday?
>>767451851
Lost to yours
>>767448277
Dem
>>767448277
>>767452615
The kind of person on a gap year or high school/college/university holiday? I've been to plenty of house parties on weekdays
>>767451483
One of my all time favourite greentexts lost hard.
>>767452448
men...
we know how to say "fuck me man, amirite?"...
without saying a word.
>>767450563
any of you fags tried this yet?
>>767455559
>>767445760
Gee gee
>>767448110
Hey James
>>767448277
Why do Amerifats get these drugs from dentists when here in Ausfalia they pretty much just give us a local anesthetic? Any med fags can explain? I dun get it
>>767448277
fucking foggot.
>>767456209
>>767448277
Cunt
>>767448858
>>767448973
Lost in the most patriotic fashion
>>767448277
Dirty cunt sniffing nigger
>>767456636
TBH in this one, I always got the vibe that this guy was probably an even worse neighbor than crazy old cat lady. But jesus H christ canadian geese are grade a assholes. They shit and shit and shit, and then shit some more, and make no less noises as they do fecal waste.
>>767457124
*honk*
>>767451901
I miss moot
>>767457764
Really?
cause he doesn't give two shits about you...
>>767448110
Fucking liar faggot
Fuck off
>>767448858
Fucking lost
>>767457860
How do u kno roody-poo
>>767448277
Dick
>>767448277
Dicktwat
>>767457917
They use it during surgery they dont prescribe it for pain management after you fucking mongoloid catamite.
>>767448277
Immunity Cat protects me nigger. Eat a dick and die.
this is a funny thread, you're doing gods work OP
>>767452014
What haven't libtards done at this point?
>>767458914
accept reality?
>>767445760
https://www.instagram.com/p/BiRLG3oHbrw/?taken-by=adi_edri9
>>767448277
OOOOOFFFF
>>767451288
Soooo he was the one fucking your wife?
>>767459498
Jackie Chan?
>>767459498
why do you bother answering to a bot?
>>767456636
>>767457708
What a bunch of savages.
>>767458431
>she starts to get annoyed that i won't smoke with her
>Few days later, feel an urge to smoke
classic.jpg
>>767459753
>>767457708
I was going to post the chinese food webm but it's more than 2mb
fucking /b/
>>767450563
thats a newzealand flag though
>>767450973
MFW I can identify with all of this.
Requesting greentext of anon who gets cheated on by his wife, and she begs him not to divorce him, and he says he won’t, only if he can do whatever he wants with her, whenever, for exactly 365 days.
>>767451288
why do you keep trying to force this you fucking autist.
boring newfag trash.
get some fucking OC you boring cunt.
>>767461581
It's a bot, you flaming faggot
>>767451556
goddamn that's an old one but it gets me everytime
>>767457917
I pulled a muscle in my back and they gave me Fentanyl at the ER. The doctor literally winked at me as he was about to administer it. It's not that hard to get.
>>767445760
>SO.o...HE was behind of it..
>>767450563
site exists, dude is hairy, seems legit
>>767451097
Beautiful
>>767458165
where is this from anon? Which board has so much fun RPing?
>>767462360
Old /tg/, now it's pretty much no fun allowed
>>767445760
>>767445760
wavetitan pls shoo
>>767451846
>2018
>Not splitting logs with a maul
>>767448277
only shit like this that i will reply to
>>767448858
Lo$t
>>>767457917
>you fucking mongoloid catamite.
Kek
>>767451530
Yep. Great uncle was a logger and explained this to me the same way.
>>767448525
That's just poor cropping.
>>767457860
moot loved and cared about every single one of us anon... pls no bully
>>767450966
Capping
>>767448762
>’second plane crashes into tower’
Bullshit
>>767450966
>>767465710
>>767466170
Fuck messed up, hold on
>>767466170
>>767451556
His profile is still there lmao
>>767448277
fuck you fuckface fag
>>767449368
Every greentext about tripping is fake
>>767450231
lost @ 'battery psychopath'
>>767450966
Stopped reading after 'i gotta shit'
>>767458122
what the shit is this
>>767468094
Looks like fapfiction about Elves
>>767448277
Well played.
>>767458612
this is great
>>767448277
Fuggg
>>767450814
lost
>>767448277
ffs
>>767448110
I had mine taken out last week, the stuff wore off pretty quickly, as in, I could walk out, but still feeling high. Listened to yes while coming down, shit was awesome
>>767450231
lost
>>767450357 >>767470151
LOST IMMEDIATELY AGAIN
>>767450814
When I was a kid, phones still worked in a power out.
>>767451556
"so u gonna give my mate his stuff back then?"
>I'm not sure you understand how burglary works.
kek
>>767448277
nicee
>>767458612
Lost
>>767448709
The other version was better. Would post if i could find it
Ok guys, here I go
>about 5 years ago or so we got new neighboors. They build ugly ass house.
>have a daughter about my age
>said daughter lives directly next to me. She can look into my room from hers
>dont care
>I know she sometimes watches me when I undress/ change clothes
>I like the attention but shes not my type so meh
>Always close my blinds when masturbating because well... Kinda obvious anyways but better than showing of my unmasked genitalia
>Surf 4chan regularily
>dont close blinds for that
about a few days back
>meet her on way home.
>try to be nice-ish and start convo about random stuff
>we eventually come to the fact that she can stare into my room
>she gets a bit shy because she prob thinks I will tell her to stop watching me or something
>suddenly blurts out that she knows what happens when I close the blinds
>Was obvious anyway...so shrug it off
>she stops walking, looks me in the eye and says she also knows what Im doing here on 4chan
>ohfuck.jpeg
>She saw my history of gore threads, my trap fethishes and the other beatifully fucked up things
>*engage pants shitting mode*
>"dont tell my parents about this!!"
>She laughs and tells me to not worry
>She will think of a "price to pay" for me
>>767448277
well
>>767451097
Glorious
>>767449992
lol these are great
