sup, /b/. I'm killing myself here within the next hour or so. Gonna combine straps from my saxophone and cello cases, leaning forward under my keyboard stand, cutting off bloodflow to the brain. Any tips on how to make it easier? My last attempt, survival instinct kicked in, I was found by a flatmate, and I was put on suicide watch for two weeks
blabla bla bla next
why dont you try and make some music before you die. at least come out with 2 albums before you off yourself. thats my goal at least.
Don't kill yourself anon! :(
>>767267146
I've been in school for music for years now. Piano, cello, sax, guitar, and voice. I wrote a few songs, but nothing I'm satisfied with. I've done a few covers, built a computer and got the equipment for a home recording studio, but it just doesn't make me happy. Romantically, occupationally, financially, and academically, my life's turning into a joke and it's gotten to the point that I'm a walking pharmacy on the different meds they've put me on, and every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I'm being driven an hour away from home to do electro-convulsive therapy, so my short-term memory's gone to shit and I can barely remember the names of some of my closest friends. I'm just tired and done
post setup
>>767267518
too lazy for pictures
my sax case's strap is about a 5-foot strap with hook clasps on each end. Cello case strap is similar, but it branches off into a Y shape (so it can be worn like a backpack). I'll loop the straps together, and I have an X-shaped keyboard stand, so I'll suspend myself from my neck, hanging from the middle-point of the X shape, leaning forward while on my knees. The position should be fairly comfortable, with just a bit of discomfort from being unable to breathe and the strain of the straps on my neck, for about a minute or so before I pass out. From there, brain-death will result within 8-10 minutes
>>767267040
Interesting way to go.
You sound too smart, like you've got something still to offer. I hate it when people don't fulfill their potential. Pity, seems like with the right direction and focus you could probably join a symphonia and make the world a better place.
>>767267323
leave school. i have a music degree and am going through the exact same thing. seriously if you like music then go make some music. dont let school ruin the one thing you love the most about life. seriously. trust me. keep writing songs. you will hate every one of them. but the initial moment of creation will make you happy. also cut the medication and just smoke some weed.
>>767267720
btw im a bass trombone guy. seriously fuck college. you don't need some asshole baring down on you to teach you how to make your own art. fuck em.
>>767267646
I've been in choirs, performed across central Europe, performed with local symphonies, etc. Every year of college, I've had to take out $10,000 in private loans at a 12% interest rate, and I'm looking at at least a 6-year plan, since two years running I've been put in suicide watch. At the end of my fourth year, there are sophomores passing me in credits and potential, after interest my private loans will be $100,000 debt (add on $50,000 for the next two years), the education classes are the bane of my existence (Music Ed major), and I've got like $10 to my name at the moment. Looking forward, shit's not gonna get better any time soon, so I'd sooner just be a coward and kill myself than hope that the "music will set me free" or whatever
>>767267720
>>767267795
>cut the medication and just smoke some weed
I'll pass, but I've tried it in the past. Over the last 4 years, I've been on like 7 or 8 different meds, currently on 150mg Amitriptyline every night, 200mg Lamotrigine every morning, and a plethora of other things.
Thing is, I really fucking like the piano/cello professors where I'm at. They're really helping me to become a better musician. Sax professor can fuck himself, voice professor switched out last year to a new guy, and honestly, I don't think I'm up to writing the music I want to. I'm being funneled between a future that seems too much to handle, and one that seems too depressing to even try
>>767267720
>>767267795
Also, I've made music. I've got an AKG P420 mic, a Behringer audio interface, and a few other tools I've used to multi-track some original stuff before, but I wouldn't be where I am if not for the professors I've had so far, and I would be COMPLETELY lost without them, and I'm nowhere near ready to just drop them and try to do it on my own. So I can't go it alone, but I also know that I'll be more and more miserable over the next couple years, ad infinitum into the rest of my life. Shit sucks, bruh
>>767267040
Don't forget to stream my dude and leave a last thing interresting in this World btw if there is an afterworld make sure to inform us.
>>767267040
I probably won't be able to convince you to stop, as I'm just a random anonymous guy on the internet, but I'd hate to see you go. Cut the medication and try to live life the way you see fit, like making music.
Even if you're unsatisfied with it (Fellow perfectionist here), just put the best you can on the table and see if others enjoy it. If they do, it'll be a drive to improve and say to them: "If you think that's good, just wait until I'm done with [project]!"
You have close friends, what would they think if you went out that way? Have you told them what you have told us here? (Other than the whole suicide plan of course)
Anon, this is directly from my heart trying to reach yours. Live on. Even if you are facing challenging times now, and it seems like there's no way out, there is. Your friends love you. I love you. Please try to love yourself.
>>767268149
you either make a change in your life, or you continue being miserable. i have the akg 420 too bruh.
>>767268038
Thank you for your reasoned reply.
Anon, I appreciate your response. Hope my 'just play beautiful music' advise didn't come across as being shallow or lightweight.
Like most anons I've been in your postition. Details, reasons why etc may differ but had the same end goal as you. For whatever reason I wasn't successful.
Whether that was a good or bad thing im still unsure.
If you've made your decision it's not for me to stop you, although I have to admit I feel compelled to at least question you.
All I would say at the moment is have you tidied up your loose ends? Will you be leaving an overwhelming mess for someone else to tidy up? Financial, physical, emotional?
>>767268231
>cut the medication
last time I tried that, it made shit way worse. fuck that
>live life the way you see fit
I'd like to, but I'm already $100,000 in debt and studying to become a choir director because that's the only logical path I see forward with my skillset
>just put the best you can on the table and see if others enjoy it
Again, maybe that'd work if I was full-time songwriter/performer, but I'm too deep into the education path
>what would they think if you went out that way
I've been on suicide watch twice in the past 2 years. This last time, I was in for 16 days, they visited once, and since I got out (March 30th) I've seen them maybe twice, if even that. They don't reply often, and at this point I feel like a whiny bitch who's hypersensitive to interpersonal rejection on account of my atypical depression disorder, borderline traits, bipolar traits, etc
>>767268353
I understand, but it's just not that simple. I can't redirect my entire life at this point in the process
>>767268365
I don't know what the process is as far as my financial debts to private loan companies. I've patched things up with about everyone I can come to care about, and I've written my note already. Hell, I've even deleted any saved porn or anything off my computers/phone
>>767268612
>I can't redirect my entire life at this point in the process
believing this is why you want to kill yourself. killing yourself is the biggest change you could make. and some how you want to do that. it could be as simple as tell someone to fuck off.
>>767268612
speaking honestly from the heart, I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for my friends and the faculty at my university. I've gotten daily reminders tattooed onto my skin ("I am enough" tattooed on my right forearm, sheet music for the Beatles "All you need is love" on my left, "Music keeps the demons at bay" on my chest, etc), but there's too many days where they just feel like words. I've made some really valuable friendships within the past month, after getting out of the hospital - two of the piano grad students especially. One from Brazil, the other from Malaysia. The professors have shown nothing but support, and the Dean of Students has been working with me to get my shit in order.
But, I just can't do it. I can't bring myself to go about the daily struggle, watch people progress past me, amass the debts that are already more than I'm willing to endure, keep up with ECT procedures and watch as I forget my best friends' names... I just can't do it
>>767267040
Play something on the cello first.
>>767268612
>Hell, I've even deleted any saved porn or anything off my computers/phone
Believe it or not, that's becoming a thing with people now. No one wants to mess with their family members heads. "He was into what??????!!!!! Wtf is that even????!!!!"
>>767268857
the suicide note
>To Whom it May Concern.
I guess, at this point, I don't know what to say. This wasn't caused by anyone or anything specific, really. I'm just becoming more tired as the days go on. Things aren't really going too well for me, be it romantically, academically, financially, etc. They feed off each other, and soon they each become too much to bear. I'm 22 and I've only been in two relationships, both of which ended in complete disaster. I'm "finishing up" my fourth year of college, and I'm falling behind the sophomores at this point. I have about $10 to my name - factor in the growing debt from private loans, and I'm at about $100,000 in the negative, after interest, so far. I've been on suicide watch as many times as I've been in love. I'm a walking pharmacy with trust issues. I'm starting to slip. There's not much else to say - I'm sorry that I'm leaving my friends this way. I know it's selfish, maybe even a little immature. I'm ashamed that even the little things lately are beginning to become too much for me to handle. Looking forward, toward the amassing responsibilities, the growing debt, the physical pains, the many years of potential mental abuses and social disappointments... if I can hardly handle it at 22, how will I be able to handle it when I'm 38? Or 47? or 59? Hell, with the ECTs, the amitriptyline, the lamotrigine, I can't even remember my age, my best friends' names, what all I need to do in a day,
>>767268612
>I understand, but it's just not that simple. I can't redirect my entire life at this point in the process
That's just wrong.
There have been 80 yo that changed their lives totally and lived their last 10-20 years completely different than before.
Think about it.
>>767269090
and it's all on a downhill trend from here. So, in summary, I am incredibly dissatisfied with my life thus far, and the future doesn't appear to hold anything in the realm of an improvement. I can't keep going like this. I can't keep up with the resorting to fast food for my employment, with the inability to perform academically, with repeatedly disappointing the people I care about. I've hit my limit. I'm becoming a husk of what I used to be - an empty shell with a breaking back and a swelling gut. I asked for some kind of meaning or purpose, and what I have sitting in front of me... It's just fucking depressing. What I've had thus far just doesn't paint a great expectation for what's to come. So, again, this is all on me. No one is at fault for what's about to happen. Except for myself, of course. I'm taking the culmination of my depression, the results of all my shortcomings, the realities behind all my failures... and I'm bringing them to a head. So I'll have one last drink, play one last song on the piano, say one last goodbye, and take that one last breath.
Time to go.
>>767269237
I'm sad to see you go Anon.
See you, space cowboy.
>>767268937
I've only played for a year and a half, but I joined the Cello Choir at my university. We haven't done anything yet, since the professor has tourettes and the medication she's on gave her 30 seizures within a week, so the department's been on a search for a new professor. I do love the cello though
>>767269215
>$100,000 in debt
That alone is more than I'm willing to put up with, especially if I give up on the 4 years of education I've done so far.
>>767269090
I'm ok with what you've written except this line
>I'm 22 and I've only been in two relationships, both of which ended in complete disaster.
Comes across as beta af because it reads as though you're the problem, when the reality is its probably the stupid bitches you've gone out with. Recommend you rewrite it as
>I'm 22 and the relationships I've been in havent been successful. I don't want to go for a third time.
>>767269237
quit being such a faggot. seriously. you piss me off. get some help before you ruin the lives of other by killing yourself. what a horrible person you are.
>>767267040
I heard the best way of doing it is livestreaming it.
>>767269237
Anon, I noticed you've been focusing on all the bad parts. Can you name 3 good things in your life for me?
stop listening to all these faggots and just do it, if you are going to do it you are going to do it. Stop looking for attention and get it over with already or shut up and get on with your life you massive faggot, there are too many people with shittier lives to care about whatever is making you end yourself. At least entertain and stream the shit. I remember when this place wasn't so shit and just told people to deliver or fuck off.
>>767269386
First relationship, I was 19 years old, after 5 months she broke it off and fucked a new guy (who I was worried about) within a week, and then told me about it while I was on suicide watch. Second relationship, we were together 14 months, then she broke it off. She called me 4 months later, while I was on suicide watch for the second time (for unrelated reasons), to tell me she's entirely written me out of her life. I would say those both ended in complete disaster
>>767269426
I know, right?
>>767269449
Contemplating it
>>767269475
>I've got some cool friends, and they do care about me
>In the grand scheme of things, I'd say I've got a fair bit of musical talent under my belt
>I'm a considerate person. I have others' best interests at heart, unless it's completely self-destructive
I guess I'm just at a point where the good things are outweighed by the negatives I've got going on
>>767269475
I also want to know this. Anon would you mind answering me a couple questions? You're on the way out, so can probably spare 2 mins giving me a (you).
> What's your favourite food?
> Is there a place in the world that connects and resonates with you?
> Was there a moment you look back on fondly when everything was in the right place and it all was going well?
>>767269557
>stop looking for attention
see my original post. I came here to ask if there is any way for me to make it easier, so survival instinct doesn't kick in again or ways to make it painless/effortless
>>767269688
10 bucks at a hardware store, a hellium tank and a tube with a mask.
>>767269671
>favorite food
Cottage pie, with a good amount of thyme in the recipe.
>place in the world that connects and resonates
Central Europe, especially southern Germany and eastern Austria
>moment you look back on fondly when everything was in the right place and it all was going well
I wouldn't say there was any moment when everything was going well. My older brother molested me when I was 5/6 years old, he was 10/11 at the time. I was awkward/depressed through middle/high school, so I was never popular by any means, but I had my circle of friends. Freshman year of college, in the middle of our Chamber Singers tour through Europe, I had the realization of my brother's molesting me, and I was robbed of any enjoyment for the rest of the performance tour. From that point on, it just kinda kept going down
>>767269688
>find a bridge or tall bulding
>jump
>splat
>profit
Goodnight sweet prince
What's your diagnosis?
It's a bit extreme that you've been put on suicide watch before. That's not exactly run of the mill shit.
Are you a regular everyday depressed person or have you got something hardcore like BPD?
>>767269892
this is also an option but make sure to do a flip
>>767269892
I live in South Dakota. No buildings tall enough until Omaha or Minneapolis, but I have considered a bridge over the Missouri, but I hear drowning sucks ass and burns like a bitch. I'd rather do it in my apartment
>>767269983
Even better, yell see you tommorow om the way down
No one will ever understand
>>767269880
>My older brother molested me when I was 5/6 years old, he was 10/11 at the time
Bingo!!!!!!!
This is why you are in the shitty position you're in now. Fuck I hate it that this crap happens to kids. Really messes people up. Sorry that happened to you anon.
Sounds like you've had counseling for it. If so, bad move. Just makes things worse. You're better off dealing with that shit in house.
Update your suicide note and include the abuse you suffered as a major contributing factor.
>>767267323
Try getting a job playing music, like at a restaurant or something. That might be easier than writing music
>>767269880
I loved Salzburg. Vienna, Budapest and Munich are the shit too.
>>767270100
i agree, bring down your brother and make him pay for his crimes. or at the very least, call for people reading the note to spread the message to large companies that will spread the message against this kind of shit or atleast let more people know the absolute damage that kind of thing can have on someone of that age.
>>767269957
Diagnosed Atypical Depression Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar, Stress-Induced Fibromyalgia, General Anxiety Disorder.
Two years ago, I was put on Cymbalta to combat fibro pain and sleep issues, as well as depression. Bad reaction and three days later I was on suicide watch, where they put me on Zoloft and Trazodone, which I was on for half a year before we decided it was just making me nauseous more than anything. Then, this past December, I went in and they started me on 25mg Amitriptyline, since its properties as a tricyclic combat the pain, sleep, and depression, and I started on physical therapy at about the same time. Since then, the prescription's gone up to 150mg, physical therapy's bled my bank account dry, and after venting to a Double Bass grad student, I went in to the doctor, and they prescribed me with 150mg of Bupropion. Another bad reaction, two days later I was on suicide watch at a different facility than the one before. While in there, they put me on Remoron, doubled that script, then took it off completely, and bumped up the Amitriptyline again, then started me on ECT procedures. I haven't been to any classes since mid-March, and honestly I feel devoid of who I used to be as a result of all the trial and error
>>767269640
>>767269880
Anon, you mentioned you're just 22. There's a ton of other good moments waiting to happen for you.
Please do not do it. Your friends care about you and don't want you to die. You might be able to visit southern Germany and Austria again. You can always start playing music, you don't have to push yourself to write your own. The inspiration will come when you least expect it.
Your life will take a turn for the better. Don't give up now!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxGRhd_iWuE
>>767270100
>>767270228
It happened repeatedly over the course of several months while he watched me while my parents were at work. He didn't necessarily develop mentally in the most orthodox way - he was duct-taped to a radiator by a babysitter a few years prior, while we lived in Chicago, and he has pretty severe ADD/ADHD. He's the kind of person who will take a bite of food and forget it's in his cheek for a few minutes. I've told a couple friends, a couple professors, a couple counselors, and my dad. Honestly, I forgive him for the sake of, I know he wasn't in the best state of mind, and I know he probably doesn't even remember, it, and I know that nothing could come from me spreading the news about it. But at the same time, I've basically written him out of my life, and I'm not gonna be his friend in the slightest. He's 27 now and JUST learned how to drive for the first time.
>>767267040
Why not just get on disability and veg out and play video games and get high all day? your going to die anyway, why cut it short, when you can just get high everyday?
Take a 5k loan, go to Mexico, spend it on cocaine, MDMA,etc and hookers for a couple of days and then call it. Might as well have some fun before you go
>>767269996 drowning feelz great if u dont fight ut. Also if its tall enough youll die on impact, but ud suggest a highway overpass really shake up some bystanders
>>767270432
The choir's going on tour to London and Paris next March, so if I can save up $3500, I'll get the chance to sing in Notre Dame and with the King's College Cambridge Choir, but right now, with $10 to my name, shit's not looking likely at all
>>767267040
but a 1970s shitty car and drive into the mountains with crap tubing duck taped from exhaust to window and take some ativan or sleeping pills.
>>767270504
I smoked weed from ages 16 to 20, and I don't really plan on doing that again, unless SD legalizes it
>>767270525
no
>>767270543
I've thought about getting on top of a 1-story building, tying some fine fishing line to a pipe or something, super-gluing my hands to my head, and jumping off. Short fall would mean little body damage, and the line would slice through my neck, making it look like I ripped my head off with it still in my hands
>>767270597
If my strangulation plan doesn't work, I'll find a garage, take all the prescription meds I have left, and let the engine run while I listen to music
>>767270558
That's great! You have +- 10 months to save up $3500! No matter how unlikely it may seem, if you put your mind to it and work for it, you can do it!
I've been in Paris recently and the Notre Dame is such a beautiful cathedral!
I sincerely hope you won't do it. You're a musically talented individual like you, who has the opportunity to sing in these amazing places. Don't let depression get the better of you, show it who's boss!
I used to go out with someone who have borderline personality disorder. Why are you guys such hard work? The unnecessary shit you put yourselves and others through. Life doesn't have to be non stop drama.
Are you still with us OP?
>>767267323
Listen here you son of a bitch, man the fuck up. I’m drunk as shit with two children I didn’t want sleeping in the next room and I’m making it work. Life is about difficulty, it’s how we grow. Literally every person on the planet has had rough patches, grow some balls and fuck life in it’s stupid face, then when you meet death decades from now say fuck you and cum in his eye socket
>>767270930
A big part of Borderline is a hypersensitivity to interpersonal connection issues. Like, shit can go from really good to really bad if eye contact isn't met on the sidewalk or something as simple as that. It's a complex, and it's not really controllable. There are plenty of different mitigation tactics, like I've been through extensive Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Dialectical Behavior Therapy, because I know a lot of my issues come from distorted thought processes and reading things that aren't there, but in our minds, it is SO easy to draw conclusions and connect inconsistencies, at the sake of our own happiness and our connections with other people
>>767270916
I've sung in St. Stephens in Vienna, Mozart's baptismal cathedral in Salzburg, and more across the area. I've toured through St. Vitus in Prague, Lukaskirche in Leipzig, etc. I've had a good run, and just looking at things financially and realistically, I'll likely not get the chance again.
>>767271194
read my suicide note above. I know that I'm selfish and cowardly and immature by thinking this way and by wanting to kill myself. I don't like it for a second that I think this way. But I do, and it gets in the way of every last bit of my everyday life, and I'm just not up to dealing with it much longer. I've got my limits, and with my multiple diagnoses and failed trial-and-error medication attempts, I'm inclined to just fuck off and end it
>>767271126
yes, was typing these >>767271227
>>767271340
>>767267040
Reading this post has blown me away man, i doubt there will be anything i can say to stop you from doing what you see is a solution. But ive gotten a general idea of the kind of bloke you are and i feel like we have some similiarites, i feel like i resonate with you. Im also 22, had a couple of relationships, 2nd one i loved like i never had at 17, she left me for another guy who she had ended up being raped by. Broke my heart man, led me to be disillusioned and angry all the time you know? Amongst other shit. About 2 years ago it had occured to me that what my grade 2 teacher was doing to me all those years ago was shit he can be convicted of, cunts a pedo. Id never thought anything of it, almost like it was just blocked out, im not sure.
I dont know what helped me throughout any of this. All through grade 10-12 i was training in tae kwon do and brazilian jiu jitsu, i found that and music to be my best motivator for me or motivator if you will. I never had to please anyone or meet someones expectations while training, i could just focus on my own improvment. It was fucking great man. I got an apprenticship straight after high school, ive been working for a little over 4 years as a fitter machinist. Im now qualified. I work 5 days a week, i live out of home in a 1 bedroom apartment. My dude, time heals. I wish i could take the pain for you man, help you see that there is a path forward. YOU must find it. Only YOU can make this, do not say cant. I love you man, Anon loves you.
You are not alone, there is always a path forward.
My 2 cents
>>767270930
>>767271194
That's another thing with mental illness like this. I know that everyone deals with bullshit in their lives. I know that everyone goes through struggles and shit. With my depression and borderline, I have it in my head that I don't deserve to get better, when there are other people who have it worse. They deserve it far more than I do. I know that that's distorted thinking, and I deserve to get better, but with the interjection and interruption of my mental illness, there's a big difference between knowing and believing.
>>767271340
We all have our limits young one, when you were five having ice cream taken away was your limit and you would cry, then you grew and pushed your limit. Your literally in the middle of a growth period, in the middle of growing stronger and you want to end it?
>>767271445
A few things: I know what my brother did was wrong. He was also 10/11 at the time, and to my knowledge, he hasn't done it with anyone else or at any other time. I love him because he's my brother, but at the same time, I have no respect for him, because he's my rapist, and I will never make an attempt to be his friend again. I also did Tae-Kwon-Do through middle school, made it to second-degree black belt before I quit. I guess, as far as employment goes, I'm already four years into a degree that's eating away at my will to keep going, and at this point I don't know if being a choir director is gonna be worth it in the end. I went into it knowing it was my path, and now I'm too far in and unsure of who I am
>>767271468
In discussions I've had with grad students, even some professors, other patients at the behavioral health hospitals I've been to, I've come to the realization that I've been through some shit when I take my age into consideration. There's 40-50 year olds in my part of the nation who end up going into one of those hospitals, and they've told me that they haven't gone through as much as I have, and they still end up there. Does that mean that if I make it past this point in my life, I'll be stronger? Probably, but at the same point, I'm mostly just done. I'm sick, and I'm tired, and I'm in physical and emotional pain as a result of shit I shouldn't have gone through in the first place, and I'm not ready to see where the trend is leading
>>767271775
I understand its easy for me to say but we cant let that break us, just decide that its time to roll over. The path may look like its running out of light, but there may be a fork at the other end, if not, make a path.... I wish all the best for you brother, wherever you are. I love you man.
>>767272262
Don't do it, OP. There is always something you can live for.
Mods, get in here. Let's save a life.
>>767271456
If anything, you've taught me some things I didn't know. Thanks for letting me walk with you for the last hour OP. I have a deeper appreciation of some things now thanks to you.
You're a strong person. But you know this already.
>>767272307
Ech, don't say it like that.
OP cut the ECT, go bankrupt. Live your life on disability untill you regain your sanity. Write /b/ somewhere if you do decide to anhero. We can hear the afterstory. Suicide is just cutting it short, you can work around this. Goodluck OP.
Do it, faggot
dont do it anon, live
Time to go.
I love you, /b/. Always have, always will.
>>767272906
Breaking my heart anon. I wish i could stop you. Im so sorry.
We love you
>>767272906
Peace to you. Hope you decide to fight another day
>>767272906
One last thing.
Play something on the saxophone for us
>>767272906
Don't give up. Please, anon. Don't do it.
>>767273121
Lisa, stop playing that damn..... saxophone.
>>767273358
Kek
>>767273358
I swear these aren't tears coming from my eyes...
>>767272906
>always will
well not if you're dead faggot
>>767272906
FUCK. No man, fucking don't. Man my gf of 5 years broke up with me a week ago, I'll feel sad with ya
Goodbye, anon. I'll remember you.
Suck ur own dick bfore dying
stream it
>>767267795
Euphonium guy concurs.
Don't do it. But if you're really going to, just get a gun, place the end of the barrel behind your ear and aim towards your face from behind, none of the thick parts of the skull will impede the bullet from shredding your brain.
Op is kill
>>767272906
Anon, I'm so sorry that I couldn't convince you to not do it. Rest in peace.
>>767274982
Possibly. But I really hope not.
I've expended some emotional input in OP this evening. I'm going to check SD papers over the next few days for any news stories that might relate back to him.
>>767272906
OP I hope you find peace, life is a tough ride
>>767273358
Lel
If you end up doing it
( which I don't advise ) you should wear one of these & keep the suicide tradition going.
Keeping this alive in memory of Anon. Rest in peace.
>>767277637
Good call.
I'm gonna be back in 24 hours and see if there's news. Hopefully he comes back.