I'm a mormon ask me anything
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
I'm a mormon ask me anything
>>752837553
who the hell is that?
>>752837592
That is our lord and savior Jesus Christ
NIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGER
Your religion takes standard Christianity and add a drizzling of a con artist named John Smith.
>>752837679
But that's a white guy? Jesus was middle eastern, you dipshit.
>>752837553
what´s your fetish?
>>752837772
interesting point
Lets see the underwear of the brotherhood.
How many times do you pray in the direction of Utah before lunch?
Did you go to church today?
Do you really believe in all the dumb shit or just wanna fuck multiple pussy
>>752837553
Can you fuck off and die?
>>752837915
People have different color skin because they are being punished for being against God
Send photo of you in your fukken magic undies, you glorious ecumenical faggot
>>752837553
Butthole, how do you clean it? Repent...you are in a modern days cult, not a religion.
My ex was a mormon. She was still a whore though. What is a mission? She said she had to go on one after she graduated Highschool. What does a mission entail?
>>752838036
Whats albino then?
>>752838167
Mormons go on missions to spread the word of God. The age to go was 19, but a few years ago it was changed to 18.
>>752838036
Is that why mudslimes are so dark? Wait...
>>752838295
Thanks man, was curious.
>>752838065
I wanna see this. Fucking deliver, OP you gay homosexual
i fucking hate you and utah
i fucking hate utah and how cold it is and dry
Son, are you having unclean thoughts? Do you ever engage in self-rape? You know that Jesus wants you to keep the law of Chastity, right? Now son, you need to me me if you are having problems with masturbation, because I am your bishop. Have you been visiting pornographic websites like this one for a long time, or were you just curious? Now we can pray together about these transgressions you are having trouble with, but I need you to tell me more about what you think about when you masturbate. Do you think about pressed white shirts? Scratchy rope on the walls instead of wallpaper? Son, would you like to try on my garments?
>>752837553
Why do you believe in so much weird shit?
The "get your own planet" thing
The belief that society is out to get families
The weird "clips-on" underwear thing.
Science is bad but it's good.
Why the hell do you guys have the most boooooring stories? Going on for 38 minutes about how deep a kiddie pool is...
Why is it that you can be sold almost anything? If a guy has a bucket of sand, he'll sell it to you as magic food and you'll throw it into your "supplies".
Why do you make fun of JWs so much?
What do I say to get you people to stop coming to my house
>>752837553
What's the third allowed movie in your collection?
the fucks a mormon
>>752838601
I'm only 18 years old I'm not yet eligible to start them yet
When did Jesus visit New York?
Jesus did nothing wrong!
>>752837553
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.
For real though. Why do you belive these outlandish claims?
>>752838877
What do you mean "start"? Is it like diapers in reverse? What purpose do they serve?
check out www.cesletter.com and save whats left of your life.
>>752837553
Utah Mormon or not?
>>752837553
How did you sneak away from the patriarchy long enough to end up on /b/?
Why aren't you delivaring?
>>752839074
they have to go through the "endowment ceremony, which either happens when they get married or when they leave on a mission heres the hidden camera of the whole thing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ErdgY6FkxI
Richard Dawkins Upsets A Mormon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWL6g3ZZBw8
>>752838014
only 2 very small Mormon sects still practice polygamy
and both of them don't recruit men
>>752839074
You have to have something called the melchizedek priesthood. I will have to start them when I start my mission in a few months.
fuck you
>>752837553
Seeing as how Mormons only comprise about 0.02% of the worlds population, wouldn't you say gods plan is a complete failure?
join discord teC344Q
There will be music bots and just plane hell on earth in ffa chat
You can even plan "meet ups" /b/ ;)
shitpost and everything
>>752839167
Life is getting boring being a mormon. It's the same thing every week
>>752839268
So when do you wear them? All day errday, or just in the church...? Why, what do they represent?
>>752838295
“The word of God”
Can you prove it with demonstrable evidence and facts? And “the word of God” does not inherently provide its own proof. Prove it like you’re one of Trump’s attorneys. Go!
>>752839292
Hahahaha, at least that's what they tell you...
>>752839341
my god, get out now. do not give your life to this sham.
>>752837553
It’s spelled “moron”. BTW, do you know what the founder of your religion was doing shortly before starting his church? Jail time. For fraud.
>>752839461
they have to wear them all the time. they are even sometimes instructed to wear them during sex
>>752839461
You wear them all day everyday. It's to protect you from the bad things in this world. It deflects Satan's evil energy.
Fucking Jesus Jammies
do you like being mormon?
Do you believe that Joseph Smith is a prophet? And that the modern prophets are a link to God?
>>752839427
>same thing every week
for the reeeest of your liiiiife.
Go join Scientology. It seems they're a little more sane than LDS.
>>752837553
So, you believe Jesus came to see a tribe of heebs that left Israel for North America some many hundreds of years before Columbus? How retarded are you?
Do you believe that Jesus Christ is our lord and savior, that his will was of God? That the word of Christ is the only path to paradise?
>>752839622
>>752839597
Fucking what? And you go along with this? Do you fully believe this or do you just go along with it?
>>752837679
lmao
ONE of them atleast.
Filthy pagans worship a man who supposedly dug up gold plates.
AND believe in trillions of formerly mortal gods.
Who have a fucking council
And that god beamed down from his space station to fuck mary and make jesus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3BqLZ8UoZk&t=387s
>>752839808
cooler uniforms at least
>>752839376
>>752839427
I was Mormon for many years and left in my mid-twenties when I realized that the church was a complete failure if it was "true". According to Mormon logic, about 99.999% of the worlds population needs to be converted in the afterlife (spirit prison) in order to be saved. Their life here on earth was pointless.
Did you know that Joseph Smith was arrested for harassing the public by claiming to be a necromancer two or three years prior to him before receiving his divinations?
>>752837915
Middle east wasn't arab yet during the time of rome. Islam combined arabs and blacks along with the rest of the middle east to make arabs.
>>752839622
Doesn't seem to work for the Mormons I know. Getting knocked up before marriage, lying their asses off, just untrustworthy dudes you don't really want to have any dealings with.
>>752837553
What is your view on the great State of Missouri?
t. A Missourian
>>752839495
>>752839511
if the largest sect still did, then I'd still be a member
my grandfather's family are all mormons since the 1850s
they converted and moved to utah and were told to take multiple wives
then the church sent them to mexico to avoid prosecution in the US
then the church said "we don't need to practice polygamy anymore" and my great-grandparents were the last in my family to be polygamists
then poncho villa said "mexico is for beaners, fuck off white mexicans"
so my ancestors fled mexico, divorced all but one of their wives, and my grandfather only had one wife, and my parents only had one spouse
>>752837553
I got a question. Why u mad?
>>752837553
Kek I forgot you weirdos existed
>>752839945
they really believe this shit. they also buy literally anything that someone else in the church sells them, because the entire church is basically a controlled breeding program with the aim of creating maximum gullibility while still able to survive to breeding age. Inbreeding's a hell of a drug.
>>752837553
What is "Blood Atonement"?
Did you know that a group of Mormons who had been ordered by the church to attack and kill a group of people, men woman and child, while dressed up as natives?
>>752837553
What's up, Mormon nigger? How closely do you follow the Word of Wisdom? I can't imagine life without booze and coffee.
>>752840027
Didn't his wife start up an even loonier version? I don't hear much about that part of it. Something about she stole the books that Smith found in the woods and made her own interpretation.
>>752839292
So you do believe in the dumb shit
>>752837553
OK, I actually do have a question.
So the other day I was stopped by a chick-missionary. It made me think, what would the best way to fuck a missionary be?
Take her book and ask her over to explain me the message of God, then maybe make her a nice dinner with wine and tell her how sensitive I am?
>>752840277
I was feeling really dangerous and put a little coffee in my hot chocolate at the gas station.
>>752840306
Joseph Smith was a con artist through and through.
But I do love how Mormon girls are more than willing to do freaky shit just to piss of their parents.
>>752840404
Best fuck her raw in the missionary position to best knock her up. Get her kicked lol.
Just act interested in her cult and be "open minded".
>>752840306
But I don't know much about the crazy wife thing.
>>752840257
lol modern mormons don't know about that, or the danites, or the kirtland safety society, or the kinderhook plates... basically all of the church history this 18 year old has heard is one version of the first vision, that Joe was the most perfect human to ever live after jesus, and that he was so good he was martyred by agents of the devil. Any history beyond that is just no faith promoting.
>>752840306
loony referring to religion is very subjective
but yes
after Joseph died the elders decided the most senior elder should become prophet-president
but Joseph's wife thought the leadership should be like the Abraham-Isaac-Jacob-Joseph succession in the old testament
so she left claiming her oldest son was the new prophet
and there was a split before that over polygamy (the smaller sect thought polygamy was wrong) I think the name of their church is "The Church of the Silver Beaver Island"
then there were 2 sects that split off in the 1890s when the church officially ended polygamy (FundamentalistLDS and ReformedLDS)
>>752840085
OP please answer I'm genuinely curious
>>752840514
Hol-ee fuck! It's like giving sugar and firewater to the Indians (NA). I knew a fucking mormon borch that got drunk for the first time, colored herself black with a Magnum44 marker, stapled the fuck out of her arms, then tried to blow me.
>>752840605
Yeah, but can these chicks meet men unaccompanied after hours?
>>752840605
Not anon.
So how would this conversation go?
"I see what you're saying. I think the lord needs a new child follower and we should make one now."
Like that? Kek, I can't even believe I'm going this direction.
>>752840514
Being raised Mormon I can confirm that the young women's relief society must give classes on handies and blowies. Those girls will keep you happy whilst keeping their vaginal virginity intact. A couple of them that I knew were anal queens too.
>>752840818
Missouri is a faggot state and all ppl from missouri are faggots. fuck them in there faggot asses.
>>752840845
One girl fucked me during a singles retreat. Texted me where they were and I went balls deep in her. She even let me cum in her. Shit was cash.
>>752840306
there never were books, no one ever saw them, the "witnesses" who claimed to see them all later said they never actually saw them, that they were covered with a cloth in the room and then they saw them with their "spiritual eyes". Apparently he tried at one point to have some made, but it would have been too expensive and might draw attention to the fraud.
>>752837553
I think you spelled moron wrong
>>752840377
no
for me religion has never been anything other than family and community binding rituals
I left once the president instructed Cali bishops to advise their congregations to vote for prop8 bc my family were forced out of the US bc of legally defining marriage as between "one man and one woman" and I saw their support of any bill giving a legal definition of marriage as hypocritical
I still go to my nieces' and nephews' baby blessings, baptism, etc
>>752840676
You have some good info, anon. Give us a breakdown of all the goofy shit. And really, your own planet?
>>752840982
She might offer a bj, and if she does suggest soaking (look it up?). Just mention some perverted things and ask her how to deal with them.
>>752840785
>The Church of the Silver Beaver Island
Wow... thx anon.
>>752841159
the best resource of the insanity is www.cesletter.com
he breaks down every issue in pretty good detail
>>752841159
Different poster, but in Utah. I was discriminated against because I wasn't Mormon but I love fucking their goodie two shoe bitches. They would try to convert me and blah blah blah, but I'd be able to get them to blow me, then I'd "return the favor" then mid way eating them I'd go in with the dick.
>>752837553
Question, are you an active mormon
>>752841183
Whoa whoa. What is her perception of all this? Does she think she's making a sacrifice in the hope of gaining a member? I mean, obviously I can't answer the door, listen to the speech, and say, "I'll think about it for a BJ." Or can I?
>>752840085
only been there for basic training (Ft Lost-in-the-Woods Misery)
the thick brush and hilly but not mountainous terrain made me uneasy
never met anyone from MO except my grandmother and her parents
ggdad was a fucking awesome great depression hobo, always loved his stories
ggma was and gma is bitter mean bitches that are only concerned about looking attractive
when ggdad died and ggma was put in a home they had closets full of clothes and dishes that were still in unopened packages
I guess extreme poverty turns people into hoarders
>>752841159
the "own planet" thing is actually getting retconned now, though it still gets taught a lot within the church it is no longer official doctrine, along with the "black people were less valiant in the war in heaven" stuff. But that just begs the question- if prophets are speaking from and through god, why is god changing his mind?
>>752841340
Thanks anon.
How,do you reconcile being a member of such a hypocritical cult? Truly the bastion of homosexuality, judgmental ness, righteous hypocritical liars. Every single one of you.
Is it okay If I eat you
>>752841159
But in order to get their own plant they need to be a good practitioner, but if you get married in the temple and get sealed you get your own universe or some crap like that. I think there's another thing but I honestly didn't pay much attention.
>>752837553
What do you think of Catholicism.
>>752837553
How come archeologists have never dug up any of those swords in the Book of Mormon?
Where did those sheep come from in the Book of Mormon? How come they disappeared and no bones have ever been dug up?
How come there is wheat in the Book of Mormon? But no other evidence that wheat was cultivated in the Americas?
Ironic you are on a site that has porn as the primary ads at the bottom of every post as well. Must be in the scriptures eh?
>>752839597
False
But I got a laugh out of it
>>752840982
not really any conversation involved
mormon girls are taught from a really young age that sex is good, but only in marriage for making babies, and it is ok to use sex as a carrot for converting men
so many get this real twisted mentality about sex where they are super willing and want a million babies, so they will do anything as long as they believe that you will not tell anyone and marry them eventually
>>752841479
You ask her about caffeine and things and other 'bad' things you enjoy, then ask about masturbating. Push into how to solve personal desires without affronting God. Then after a few days tell her how hard it is going without masturbating and that you might not be able to make it.
>>752841615
>>752841534
This goes deeper (weirder) than I thought. Don't know if you are 1 or 2 anons, you left the church? What age and why? What broke the "illusion"?
>>752837553
How come Joseph Smith's Book of Abraham doesn't match the actual scroll he "translated" from?
>>752841183
>soaking
fucking batshit mormon girls
>it isn't sex bc he isn't hard and neither of us enjoy it
>>752841777
I never had to promise marriage, only that I might convert for them.
>>752841882
We're two different annon, but I'm guessing we're both in Utah.
>>752841765
How come Joseph Smith died when he got shot? Was he not wearing his underwear?
>>752841858
>few days
Sorry, can't string her along for that long. Is it just the women taught this way? Oh man, what if a male missionary was trying to convert another male? Fag=bad, but new members=good.
>>752842051
But yeah, I was never part of the cult. I'm just a sociopath who enjoys corruption, quote from one girl after she found out that I fucked her friends. I use their sense of 'power' to get into them. They think they're smart but they're easy to play.
>>752841765
lol it actually used to be a thing
>>752842176
Hmm try to hang out with her for a day, ask her how she deals with her desires.
>>752840997
how hard is to bed a mormon girl, and can I get them to do anal? Im thinking of moving to Utah for school.
>>752837553
Does Isaiah 43:10 mean anything to you?
Ye are my witnesses, saith the Lord, and my servant whom I have chosen: that ye may know and believe me, and understand that I am he: before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me.
>>752841534
>if prophets are speaking from and through god, why is god changing his mind?
yeah
that was my first crack when I was a kid
I couldn't figure out why Fielding-Smith said "god changed his mind about polygamy" instead of "gad said we should obey the laws of the land, so until the law is changed or if you live in a nation where polygamy is legal no polygamy"
the articles of faith already stated why US mormons shouldn't practice polygamy and it was given years before polygamy was criminalized by the US or adopted by the mormons
>>752842304
Most will do anal because they'd still be a Virgin.
>>752842066
Whoever said wearing them was gonna keep you from harm?. Jeez, I've known tons of LDS people who have been killed
>>752841972
just because you never promised it and they never asked for it doesn't mean they weren't expecting you to marry them
>>752842262
Well I can tell you, never worn em fuckin
>>752842385
Not enough though...
>>752842304
Easier in idaho than Utah
>>752842444
That is true, they kinda get clingy after the first fuck.
>>752841882
Stopped believing at 11 when I looked at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Smith_Hypocephalus and real translations of it, realizing old joe couldnt read egyptian and obviously was making the whole thing up. left at 18 once I couldnt be bundled off to a reeducation camp or some shit like that (mormons react badly to their kids leaving).
>>752842451
Like a condom, am I right!
>>752842459
Hahaha
Well if you want us all dead, you're running behind and need to get started
>>752837553
Did you misspell moron?
>>752842384
Neato, having to keep up the act might be annoying but if mean having an anal only gf for a few months it might be worth it.
>>752842494
do tell
>>752842560
Fuck that, I'm not into having 3+children
>>752842642
Not all of you, I still need easy to manipulate women who think they're only good for sex and pumping out kids.
>>752842494
from my experience utah and idaho mormon girls are just as easy to bed
the double whammy of the confusing sex message and not being able to use the "i'm mormon" card
mormon girls outside those two states are used to not dating mormon men and so it is easier for them to use the "I'm mormon" card
>>752842709
Utah is getting to be more diverse so it's just easier to get with a non member.
Idaho, well it's still small towns and eastern idaho is high concentrate of Mormons. And some still think anal is better to do than vaginal. Virginity and all that
>>752842709
If you can get one to do anal ask if you can soak. Then when your in just keep 'adjusting' and she might let you keep going.
>>752842710
One girl I know wanted 13 kids...
>>752837553
I. Do you wear the magic undies?
II. How seriously do you take the caffeine restriction?
III. Any weird/creepy stories from inside the Church?
how can I get this goddess to let me fuck her in the ass.
>>752842837
I hear ya, I still think idaho gets you into no, handy, and anal faster than Utah
>>752842917
That's a hard egg to crack.
>>752842935
That's cause non Mormons are more exotic lol.
>>752842754
Yeah if you snag a Mormon girl for a wife, and you get the ultra conservative ones. You'll score a stay at home wife that will do everything to make you happy.
And will want tons of kids
>>752842886
My grandma went for that, on number 11 her uterus basically fell out and had to be removed.
>>752842304
Just pretend to be interested in their bullshit and bring up a man's"needs"on the third date. Guaranteed Bj and some buttsecks if you're good looking and have a little game.
>>752842864
Man, if a girl falls for "soaking" she is incredibly fucking stupid
>>752842886
Fuck that, in done at 2
>>752839341
How do you react to the idea of someone giving you a tender footjob through your magic undies?
>>752842385
>Jeez, I've known tons of LDS people who have been killed
Wow! I thought that underwear with there magic would protect a Mormon. I'm amazed that they don't really have any magic.
>>752843076
is her name Pat? was your grandpa De?
>>752842917
tell her you are worried you are gay and need help getting straightened out
>>752842892
I do
The caffeine restriction is taken way out of context and people have made it into something it's not
Nothing really crazy, I've known a few to bang inside the church house but that's not really major
>>752837679
When did he turn German?
>>752843194
lol nope, guess it isnt that uncommon of a utah story
>>752843089
Had two fall for it so far. One didn't fall for it right away and forced me to stay still. So hard, but when she wasn't game I pulled out and got dressed still erect and implied that she was useless as a woman. She started crying and kind of begged for it afterwards.
>>752843031
It's true, I'm a convert with tattoos and a history. Some of them loved dating a "bad boy"
>>752842917
1. Hold a gun to her head and tell her you'd like to fuck her in the ass. (the meat will then go inside the hole)
2. Brutally rape her as you muffle her screams.
>>752843191
I don't get where all these people call them magic. Shit makes me laugh all the time
>>752840037
Yeah, about that …
>>752843458
Good suggestion...
>>752843293
Really? I guess Joe Smith didn't know about Coke.
>>752843365
That s crazy, but I'm sure it speaks for itself when you were with those girls
>>752837553
nigga, if you mormon then how come you even using a computer? Those motherfuckers aint even got telephones.
>>752843477
>the special cotton clothes repel the devil's spells
That's why.
>>752840276
You learned about that from a movie.
>>752843244
just don't be too convincing like my friend
>friend starts using the "I might be gay" pick up line
>it gets him a couple dozen mormon girlfriends
>he plays gay too well
>they all start to set him up with their brothers or cousins who are also mormon and gay
I think he went so far as have a 3some with one chick and her cousin with him as the meat in the middle
the chick was always talking about how she was happy she could help my friend and her cousin "be themselves"
and my friend always desperately and urgently changed the subject whenever it came up
>>752843530
Nah man, people went crazy with interpretations with the Word of Wisdom, which many say focuses on caffeine
I love my coffee and coke
>>752843372
>I'm a convert with tattoos and a history.
What compels you to believe Joseph Smiths?
>>752843593
Hahaha is that it. Man no one even mentioned that to me. Ever
>>752843293
the WoW never mentions caffiene, tea, or coffee
it just says "hot drinks"
and it doesn't forbid them
it just gives the same restriction as red meat
>use sparingly
>>752843549
It's kinda easy, be curious and nice at first, then bring up issues you have with it, then once they're invested in you start being a dick... I guess that formula works on most women...
But any sexually repressed group will be easy to manipulate for sex.
Are traps gay?
>>752843606
Never happened, if I'm gonna get some I'm naked as fuck
>>752843596
What movie? I learned about it in a history book.
>>752837810
>doesn't even know the founder of the religion
It's Joseph Smith. If you're going to criticize mormons, do it right.
>>752843477
Do they have symbols on them? Why do you wear them if they are not magic?
What does the Doctrine & Covenants say about your "garments"?
>>752837553
why do you wear "magic" underwear
I left the lds church a few years ago. My wife is still lds. I'll answer questions and no shills.
>>752843775
Yes
>>752843750
Exactly, it's about moderation but people took it to the extreme
>>752843346
if we were related it wouldn't have surprised me that I've got a /b/tard cousin
us descendants of Pat are current over 400
local mormons (U.S.) say that as long as there is consent without coercion that its ok to sleep with kids as young as 9. how do I become mormon?
>>752843900
Hi huni. Glad to see you here lol.
>>752843975
If you want to go younger go be an orthodox jew.
>>752839495
It cannot be proven, such is the inherent nature of religion. Neither can it be disproven, as the concept of a "God" has no discernible goalposts, and any event's occurrence can be attributed to said god's divine will.
I really want to know why people are so interested in the underwear Mormons wear.
I mean, who gives a shit. Plus just so everyone knows, they're not magic
>>752843900
Have a hard time converting her or just not trying?
>>752843900
Also, dubs will be checked.
>>752843715
It's like if a guy was in the park with a trash can lid and a speaker magnet, yelling and pointing it at the sky, saying how he was redirecting comets, we would call him Pete and his magic shield.
>>752843975
Not true, if you're looking for that orthodox jew or muslim
>>752844115
It's 4chan, how can we not be interested in undies?
>>752839567
That actually occurred during the founding. Point does still stand though.
>>752844213
Jew is only under 9 or over 13. Mudslime is... Well no age of consent in parts of the middle east...
Why do morons want to kill original inhabitants of what's
known as the US, and why are they worse than witches. ?
>>752844155
So a trashcan man directing comets is on level with what kind of underwear someone wears
>>752844116
She left the church before we met. Then we married and both joined again together. Lots of hypocricy and lies. I couldn't stand the b.s.. She is staying with the church. Was hard to leave. They don't let you go easily. Like being in the mom minus they kill you if you leave part.
>>752844115
>I really want to know why people are so interested in the underwear Mormons wear.
because it's ridiculous.
*mob not mom
>>752840099
>>752843861
lurk moar
>>752837553
Seems like you aren't interested in answering the hard questions.
>>752844356
Fuck my gf still gets calls for asking if she wants to come back. Or what ward she moved to, or... Anything
>>752844232
Figure Utah or idaho nudes would be more interesting.
>>752837592
>>752837679
Charlton Heston.
>>752840405
#thuglife
Move aside you worthless heretic. Ask a witness of jehovah anything
>>752844494
Hmm yeah, tits or gtfo! Don't care if you're a guy.
Why'd joe smith want the nefti dead ?
>>752844528
What's his dick taste like?
>>752843975
that is not supported by direct scripture or revelation
it can be argued that because you can only baptize those capable of understanding and consenting, and the minimum age for baptism is 8, and a husband and wife are expected to have sex, and there is no explicit prohibition on marrying an 8yo
then it is OK to marry and fuck any one that is 8 or older
but that is a fuck ton of reading between the lines
although, about 90% of what I was taught in church as being official doctrine turned out to be batshit local members reading between the lines
>>752844356
Man you must have a really diligent wars. I've seen some friends leave the church and it was as easy as not going back
>>752843530
But he did promote Mormon tea, the source of ephedrine.
>>752843596
I've never heard of any movies about John Gunnison.
>>752844598
Holy fuck I didn't even know that...
>>752837553
Your religion is a giant fucking hoax how does that feel?
>>752844382
So are Jehovah witnesses, orthodox jews
Catholics
>>752844331
The fuck are you on about?
>>752844346
If they claim that they protect them from the devil's influence, then yes, it's about the same to me.
>>752844528
I prophesy the JWs will convert all the Mormons by March 23, 2023.
>>752844748
Something about red men deserving death for crimes of their ancestors? I'm not sure if that's what he was talking about.
>>752844721
And if they wore special underwear people would become pre-occupied with it.
>>752844615
>>752844615
I sent fed ex letters to salt lake city demanding them to remove my name from their members list. They sent me a threatening letter back saying my soul will be forever ruined it some shit if I don't stay. It was kinda harsh.
>>752844751
They don't claim that. It's purely symbolic, and it's presumably also to provide a maximum amount of skin you're allowed to show.
>>752844346
the "magic" underwear protecting anyone from anything is on par with Santeria in Catholicism
official doctrine is that garments are nothing more than a worn symbol the covenants made with god
>>752844710
I mean even if religion is bullshit, if this helps them live a better life and positively impact the world/community who gives a fuck
>>752844912
Fucking what
>>752843824
Not sure, probably September Dawn (2007).
>>752844912
I just got a letter back saying that records are kept at the ward level and redirecting me to another address that could help me find which ward has my records
>>752837553
Still got my Free Mason... er, I mean Mormon temple clothes.
>>752844912
Mind showing us the letter
>>752845079
Best site to help Mormons leave or for non Mormons to get facts is www.hotm.tv
>>752844615
I stopped going in Cedar Rapids around 1983. I was contacted by the church attempting to confirm my identity in a small town in Washington around 2005. Tell me that the Mormon mafia doesn't keep tabs on a brother. I will tell you that you're full of shit.
>>752845010
I honestly don't care that they're Mormons, but I enjoy making sure they know that Joseph Smith was a con.
>>752844528
The Hall has no windows. Would it be the best IRL rekt ever? Have you ever brought up adding windows? I would think JWs would want to see that. The last "I told you so."
>>752845003
Symbolic yes, magical, last time I checked I still can't levitate or pull a rabbit out of a hat
>>752844960
This is more on par
>>752845143
I'll have to check that out
>>752844528
Why is there a bitter resentment between your two churches? They'e both batshit crazy.
>>752845178
Why not get rid of em
>>752845299
those are like the easiest tricks to do
learn a bit of slight of hand and start raising rabbits
>>752845279
Odds are it's not even going to impact them
>>752845278
Of course. You stopped pay tithes.
>>752845460
I'll get started
>>752844799
not likely, the end of the end is already upon us. God shall destroy them
>for reference the End times actually began in 1914
>>752845525
Yeah, but it's good to know that they know.
>>752845604
>>for reference the End times actually began in 1914
For your reference, the End Times began when Jesus of Nazareth hung on a cross.
>>752843507
>Descendants of Ham
I knew they were a bunch of pig fuckers.
>>752845688
Got ya
>>752845538
LOL. I was 13. I gave ten percent of what I made bucking hay and driving corn trucks. I'm sure they missed that shit.
gotta put in that Utah mormon girls are hot as fuck
a large portion of converts up to the 1890s were from greater Scandinavia
so many tall, busty, blondes and redheads
then there was a mass conversion from Tonga and various Pacific islands and Latin America in the first half of the 20th century
so there are a fuck ton of hot brown girls, just don't marry those ones bc they turn into blimps around 30yo
>>752845982
>I'm sure they missed that shit.
They have a long game.
>>752845748
>>>for reference the End times actually began in 1914
>For your reference, the End Times began when Jesus of Nazareth hung on a cross.
for your reference the end of times began when god divide the darkness from the light and called them night and day
>>752846000
This is also true
>>752845748
Common misconception. The end times revolve around a great change in the system of things that begin with all the worlds great nations in perpetual turmoil. This was predicted.
>now tell me what even happened in 1914 that matches this description :)
>>752846000
Nice trips
>>752846107
>for your reference the end of times began when god divide the darkness from the light and called them night and day
Does it say that in your JW Bible? Or do you have the Joseph Smith one?
>>752846175
>>now tell me what even happened in 1914 that matches this description :)
Beats me I don't follow modern false prophets. Only the last true Prophet, Jesus of Nazareth.
>>752837553
What is the worst Abrahamic religion and why is it Mormonism?
>>752845178
Why keep them
>>752846569
lol he means the world wars you inbred peice of shit. Ive been reading on jw beliefs and predictions and while I dont completly agree with them they make a hell of a lot more sense than you delusional faggots.
>>752846227
At least it's circumcised and not wearing a turtleneck.
>>752846175
>all the worlds great nations in perpetual turmoil
so the beginning of the Napoleonic wars
which were a continuation fo the 30 year war
which was a continuation of the 100 year war
which began after the the crusades
which were in response to the Islam expansionism sacking Byzantium/Constantinople
which began during the barbarian invasions of Rome
which began with the Roman wars against the successive Persian empires
which began during the Punic wars
which....
>>752839461
The garment is sybolic of the clothea that God gave Adam and Eve when they left the garden of eden.
They are a reminder that God is providing for you.
>>752846376
in Abrahamic mythology time began when god divided the darkness from the light
therefore any Abrahamic cult that believes in an end of existence believes that the end of time began when time began
>>752846755
>mormonism
how can you be this retard. They're loons but they shit in there own backyards and generally respect others boundaries, meanwhile Jafar will behead you and rape you daughter if he catches you eating a blt
>>752846810
Keep on reading. You might want to try reading a Bible that wasn't translated by an occultist. Just saying.
>>752837553
How prepared are you fir the coming war between the Mormons and the Evangelicals?
You're better stocked on weapons and supplies, but there's a lot more of them than there are you, and lets face it, they're fucking psychos.
>>752845299
>pull a rabbit out of a hat
You put a rabbit in a fucking hat, you yank that bastard back out. What's so difficult here?
>>752847219
I see. I guess that goes right along with the 2nd law of thermodynamics.
>>752847377
>You might want to try reading a Bible that wasn't translated by an occultist. Just saying.
Um.
>>752847715
>Um.
That goes for both Mormons and the JWs. Joe Smith and Taz Russell were both occultists. Of course, Taz didn't translate the JW Bible (New World Translation). That was another occultist.
>>752837553
lol, godmakers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q6brMrFw0E
>>752847599
>What's so difficult here?
making idiots think that there isn't a rabbit in the hat to begin with
>>752847715
Like the King James version?
It's just a history book. History will always be rewritten by those who were victorious.
>>752837553
>I'm a mormon ask me anything
for fuck's sake, WHY?
>>752843750
So you can't drink too much hot water? What if you are in the desert and the only thing you have is hot water? I guess you will be on your way to meet Xenu.
>>752848219
>implying anyone who wrote/translated the bible isn't an occultist.
>>752837553
Looks a little like Matthew McCoughnahey.
Of the five Christ characters referenced in the Bible badly amalgamated into one, at very least, one is a Spanish Moor. That's a spaniard of African import, and a black one at that. Moor is actually a literal translation of the word "Black", for which they were named. Another is a sephardic jew, and another is Greek, a repackaging of Socrates. None are Northern European / Scandinavian blondes.
>>752848219
>Like the King James version?
I would recommend a more modern translation that uses better Greek manuscripts, but the KJV and modern translations should agree on doctrine with original signature manuscripts.
>>752848317
in cold deserts there is usually plenty of ice on the ground, if not you can just wait and the water will cool off
in hot deserts drinking hot water is almost as bad as drinking no water, you would be better off waiting until night and letting the water cool before drinking it
but the key phrase in the WoW is "sparingly"
that doesn't mean "don't"
it means only use it rarely or if in need
>>752848402
The King James version was translated by scribes of the Catholic church. I wonder who benefited from that?
>>752848203
touche, anon.
>>752848755
don't forget that King James had an almost pathological fear of witches
>>752848927
So do I. They really creep me out. I would much rather have buttsecks with a Mormon girl than deal with a witch.
>>752849189
hmmm, buttsects with a witch?
>>752849189
well you'll fit right in with mormons
most don't allow their kids to play D&D bc witchcraft
>>752849189
Witches can be pretty cool. They tend to be somewhat crazy though. Most that I have run into are rather weak since they follow newage witchcraft.
>>752849386
All forms of witchcraft or paganism are strictly prohibited in the Mormon church.
As am I. Just had a wank tho, anyway second coming is almost here. I think maybe 50 years, prophecies are showing.
I'd like to thank all the answer-givers in this thread. I don't believe such an informative exchange to have ever been delivered upon /b/.
>>752848702
This is news to me. What are the problems with drinking hot water in a desert?
What does WoW stand for? Probably not World of Warcraft. Words of Wisdom?
>>752849619
Well yeah but... butt. seccs.
>>752849480
I always thought that was because they didn't want their kids to be nerds.
