The tale of Smackey, a legendary boy
>be me
>freshman year, private school
>artfag, punk fan (and not the new screamo shit, the good stuff), geek
>has about 5 close friends, is acquainted w/ everyone in the grade
>reddy to start the year, usually get straight A's, or A's w/ a few B-'s
>tons of new kids
>some are thots
>geeks
>jocks
>the list goes on
>it's a madhouse
>kids are coupling up left n right
>only the social misfits are left out of this
>we stay in our groups, standing tall among the frenzy
>things keep going well
>one day, a new kid comes up to me and starts talking
>we'll call him smackey
>doesn't take social cues
>fuckhe'sautistic.jpeg
>keeps talking to me
>he has this signature 'eyy, wassup anon? wassup dude?'
>every fucking morning he comes up to me and talks before classes
>couple days later, I'm drawing a figure (male)
>I hear 'eyy, wassup'
>fuuuuuuuck.jpeg
>'whatcha drawing, anon? is that *gasps*'
>I realize what he's about to do, but I can't stop him
>'is that a PENIS??'
>he yells it so fucking loudly
>he starts screeching 'PENIS' for everybody in the grade to hear
>I can hear his screech to this day
>people start to look at me
>shit I gotta do something
continue?
>>752173044
Hahaha please continue
>>752173445
ok one sec next will take a lil while
>>752173044
>grab smackey by the shirt and pull him down to eye level (I was sitting at the time)
>'smackey, could you please be quiet'
>he's still repeating penis but at more of a whisper level
>holy shitballs everyone is looking at me
>what the fuck do I do
>I just try to act like nothing happens, and eventually it all calms down
>my friends come up to me, we start talking
>smackey walks away to talk with the Jocks
>friend one, we'll call here GG, asks me what the fuck happened
>I show her the drawing and say that smackey freaked out when he saw the d
>kinda turns into a meme among my friend group
>every morning, I walk into the halls, fearing the dreaded 'eyy wassup'
>every morning, something like this happens
>one morning, smackey comes up to me and asks 'hey anon, are we friends?'
>bcuz I'm a nice person and don't want to hurt his feelings (also was low key scared of his autistic strength) I say we are
>smackey then starts saying really unfunny jokes and showing me family guy clips that he happens to find funny
and so ends chapter one, the befriending of smackey
Bump
>>752174006
chapter two: the gatorade
>so smackey is on the school's cross country team
>he's really fucking fit, but walks really awkwardly since his legs are always sore from running
>he drinks gatorade CONSTANTLY
>he has a little semicircle of red above his upper lip from the fruit punch flavor
>fruit punch is the only flavor I've ever seen him with
>he did a fucking presentation on fruit punch poems for his english project
>one morning, I'm sitting in my friend group's area of the freshman hallway
>smackey comes up with his gatorade
>'eyy wassup anon, whatcha doing?'
>'nothing much, just passing the time drawing'
>'hey anon remember that time that you ran around the halls screaming penis? that was really funny'
>'smackey, I think that was you, not me'
>'hehe yeah dude I'm just messing with ya, that's all, just kidding around with my friend anon'
>he says that last part really loudly
>holy fuck I hate this child
REMEMBER THE GATORADE
>remember when I said that everyone in the grade was coupling up?
>well, there was an asian girl that I was SUPER attracted to in the 8th grade
>no one else was going for her, but I'm a pussy and a freak
>she was semi-hot, probably a 6-7/10
>but holy fuck was she funny, and incredibly talented at the cello
>so I started to flirt with her in october of freshman year
>things were going smoothly
>I muster up the strength to sit one seat away from her at lunch
>it's not obvious that I'm going for her, but I can easily talk to her
>I've been flirting for about 3 weeks now, and I think it's working
>I start talking to her
>then...
>'eyy wassup dude!'
>fucking smackey sits across from me.
>he takes a sip from his gatorade and I prepare..
end of chapter two
bumping this shit
BUMP
BuMp
Bump
>>752174938
chapter three: chaos ensues
>smackey puts his gatorade bottle on his seat
>'save my seat, anon!' he yells, as he gets up to get more food
>the girl I like (let's call her S) says to me:
>'I think what you're doing is really kind'
>heart skips a beat
>'what do you mean?'
>'you know, talking to the autistic kid. I think you're being much nicer to him than anyone else'
>I'm literally the only kid unlucky enough to ever speak to smackey
>'thanks, I guess. I'm just doing what I think is right'
>realfuckingsmoothkiddo.jpeg
>smackey comes walking back with a burger and 573 bags of ketchup
>he sits down at his spot and proceeds to smash the ketchup packets on his tray
>the ketchup is flying
>S and I get bits of ketchup all over us
>'Smackey, what the fuck man??' I yell
>I don't yell it super loudly, just loudly enough for people within 5-10 feet from me can hear
>'haha, dude it's a joke, haha! KETCHUP!!'
>he starts screaming ketchup over and over again
>S starts to cry, and I say to her
>'cmon, let's go get cleaned up'
>she nods through her tears and walks out of the lunchroom with me
there's definitely some autism in this thread
Bump
More Smackey plox
>>752173044
Walk the spaghetti dinosaur incoming
You're gonna post it anyways so get it done. Are we going home to Bel Air, walking the dinosaur
Keep going, OP! I'm hoping for some mega payback for Smackey!
>>752175791
>my school has two floors
>the lower floor consists of the gym, the cafeteria, and the elementary school
>the second floor has the high school and the middle school
>S and I are walking upstairs to get to the bathrooms so we can wash up
>I can hear someone running about 50 yards away, and they're getting closer
>I say to S
>'cmon, follow me really fast!'
>she's confused, but I take her over into the middle school, where you can just barely see the entrance into the high school
>we see smackey, covered in ketchup and gatorade, running away from two teachers
>I say to S 'let's just use the middle school bathrooms'
>she responds with an OK
> I meet up with her about 15 mins later, both of our heads soaking wet and our clothes smelling slightly of ketchup
>'you feeling better?' I ask her
>'yeah'
>I look at the clock
>ohshit.jpeg
>she looks too and realizes we have 5 mins till our classes start
>what follows was an extremely confusing 5 minutes of rushing to get my binders and run to class
>#madeit.jpeg
end of chapter three
>>752176276
>>752176200
don't worry, I'm not a jackass
BUMPAN
I stopped doing it at the part where your crush blindly agrees and follows your lead
>>752176200
checked
Bumparoo
I am autist with no patience. MO SMACKEY NAO! REEEEEEEEE
bump
>>752176354
bumperino
how big is smackey's autist occk
>>752176354
Why the fuck does any of this matter? There's no story to this so far.
>Go to school
>Meet tard
>Tard is a total potatoe
>Tard yells shit
>I like a girl
>Tard fucks it up
Maybe you're the tard...
>>752176354
chapter four: god fucking dammit smackey
>so I'm pretty much unable to talk to my crush for the unforeseen future
>I don't think she wants to have anything to do with me, since she's experienced the wrath of smackey
>I'm waiting in resentment for smackey to do another thing
>I want a fucking excuse for that kid to get suspended; I really need a couple days off
>I keep rolling with it
>one morning, 4 days after the kekchup incident
>Smackey spills his fucking gatorade on me in english class
>almost gets on my nerd notes (gotta grade fAsT)
>I bite my tongue
>I was so fucking pissed off
>kids start inventing names for me, like tomato boy and fruit punch
>S kinda cuts herself off from everyone except her closest friend
>I am fucking pissed off at smackey
>>752176903
faster op, we need dem juicy details.
>>752176903
GET TO THE FUCKING POINT.
starting to be anti-climatic...tf man
Based smackey kek
Include me in the greentext screencap bois
>>752176903
you're starting to lose me OP
>>752177166
Checked
>>752176903
Smackey!!!
>>752176903
>Smackey starts to try and talk to S
>I don't know why he's fixated on her, but I'm pissed about it
>sit down at lunch, 2 weeks after the kekchup incident
>I see S sit down about 3 tables away
>I look at her, hoping for an 'eye contact by accident'
>she never looks back
>then I see smackey enter the lunchroom
>he's fucking walking up to her
>fuckshitfuckshit.jpeg
>I talk to some of my friends
>'you see this shit?'
>they all think I'm an idiot
fuck you guys I'm typing as fast as I can
somebody screencap pls. include me
>>752177148
this shit is old as fuck you loser
nobody's going to put you in anything
I'm a tard wrangler I got some stories too bud.
What a tangled web. Great work OP
>>752177253
bump, waiting for the point
>>752177259
fuck u if anything i deserve to be in the screencap.
>>752177253
Fuck you, type faster faggot.
*Let's out autistic REEEEEEE*
might as well be in the screencap
>>752177290
Source then, FUDder
>>752177253
> I convince them to help me plot rEvENGe
>it all starts with his beloved gatorade
>we think of ways to stigmatize it, ways to turn him off from the fruit punch
>we think of ways to use the fucking ketchup
>I think we have a fucking plan
and so ends chapter four
>>752177253
then fucking type it out before posting faggot
[Spoiler]
Smackey fucks OP's crush
walking dinosaur spagetti etc
>>752177460
Can you please just post until line limit, dont taunt us like this, and dont make an individual fucking comment to reply "ok" to this, just add it to the same post
>>752177471
No one is like.. forcing you to stay here anon.
>>752177460
and you lost me
>Smackey runs up to S
>shoving his huge tard cock inside her
>she screams...
>it's a scream of joy as she squirts all over smackeys throbbing dick
>I run over to lick up austi-juices
ITT: OP drags out a boring story that could have been told in 2 posts
Just me laying down in bed on my ipod touch 4 generation.
>>752177703
/thread
Hurry up OP, goddamn
Intardasting
>>752177717
kek
>>752177717
I am off to the bathroom, better be more story when i come back
>>752177845
thx
>>752177460
chapter five: revenge tastes like ketchup
>My friends want me to execute the plan right away
>gotta wait for the right time bois
>smackey continues to fuck up my connection with S
>I'm starting to think that I'm too pussy to actually do this
>then he nearly pukes on me during my study hall
>'too much gatorade'
>eugh
>i execute the plan
>the week after, I have stage & tech practice for the play
>i'm gonna be leaving school later than usual
>I smuggle in ketchup and start squirting it into his locker like no tomorrow
>'this is what you get for fucking with my life, smackey'
>I then use a funnel to pour gatorade into his locker
>I hear it splash at the bottom
>excellent.jpeg
>now I wait for tomorrow
>>752177965
By the way, are you saying you're 15? Is that the implication of the prior posts about being a junior?
>>752173044
Type faster
>>752177965
Type faster cunt.
>>752177965
still bumpan
Dont die on me now thread
>>752177965
>the next morning I walk into school
>smackey is literally running around the hallways, pants off, underwear in his hand
>he's screaming 'FRUIT PUUUNCH! FRUIT PUNCH FRUIT PUNCH!'
>fuck yes
>everyone thinks it's the jocks
>they got busted for pouring pee into a nerd's locker after he pissed them off
>fuck
>yes
that's it guys
that's all I have for smackey
long story short, he moved away the next week, I was never caught, and even tho I never got w/ S, I got my fucking revenge
sleep tight jackasses
THATS IT?????
>>752178259
ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?
>>752178259
Fuck off and die
>>752178259
TYPE FASTER YOU GODDAMN FUCKING CUNT. BEFORE I TAKE OVER THIS THREAD.
>>752178259
Ugh. Fuck your lame ass ending
>>752178259
Put me in the screencap!
>>752178368
hey u want me to make up an ending? cuz I can fucking do that, I'm just saying what happened in real life
>>752178259
MOAR TARDY TARD STORIES
>>752178259
What??? You are a real fucking cunt mate. You wasted MY time and everyone elses too. You must thought, oh shit, I am a wise cunt and got away with this cunt attitude so I'm gonna make it funny and greentext it. You better find a new hobbie cunt because this shit is not for you.
>>752178259
Just kidding! Theres more!
>Gets called into the principals office. We only have one for all three schools.
>Smackey is just sitting there with tears running down his face.
>feelsbadman.jpeg
>Principal asks me if I know who may have done this, since I've been seen around smackey the last few days.
>Tell him that I have no idea. Principal (lets call him PE) sends me back to class with smackey.
>Its Chem, and we have those tables that are covered in the front... Spankey goes under the table and...
Make up an ending, and make it fucking good, cause that one was fucking garbage. Don’t waste my time anon
>>752178259
welp, that was kinda shit. it seemed like it was going somewhere but nothing happens. my best advice to you op is to stop being a cuck and ask girls out before u let autists ruin the fun
>>752178604
"just kidding"
>>752178620
oke man I'll make one
>>752178604
also shut the fuck up
>>752178448
You shouldn't have even posted the fucking story. Waste of time.
>>752178448
>>752178582
What a little fucking cunt you end up being OP
>>752178259
You fuckers wanted a make believe ending
Here ya go
This'll take a while
>smackey runs up to me, underwear in hand
>'ANON SOMEONE GATORADE KETCHUP'D MY LOCKER'
>I act surprised and try to run away from him
>I run into my friends, and they're laughing their asses off
>GG says
>'you actually fucking did it man. you are a fucking legend'
>I enjoy watching teachers round up a half naked smackey
>two days later, the principal holds a meeting with the whole high school
>'the other day, someone dumped ketchup and gatorade into a student's locker because they thought it would be 'funny'
>he brings up a crying smackey to where he's standing
>'Do you all think this is funny? that this type of behavior is a joke?'
>everybody says 'no' in a monotone
>'Now we WILL find out who did this and they WILL face the consequences'
I can keep going if you assholes want me to
Include me in the screencap fags
>>752179180
you want me to continue or not, fuckers
do it fag
>>752179180
cont.
>'Now we WILL find out who did this and they WILL face the consequences'
>knees heavy
>staff are walking through the rows, sniffing for a specific smell as smackey shits on the floor
>palms sweaty
>one of the staff members stops right in front of me, bending down to smell my pockets
>mom's spaghetti
>>752179180
>my friends and I vow to never tell anyone who did what
>people start calling the culprit "the smacker"
>>752179608
FUCK OFF
>>752179700
>after a long day of getting fucked by the jocks, mommy drives me home
>in my room, i find S riding smackey's engorged tard cock
>i get real sad and decide to end it all
>>752179700
>rumors of how the smacker did it are hazy
>there was a football game for our team, home, the same night I the the kekchup shit
>everyone thinks it was a jock
>this is fucking gold
>people start connecting dots to who usually did what,
>such as this one asshole who used to pour pee and god knows what into other people's lockers
>nothing is solid, and eventually the official search is called off, since the school can't decide who did what
>one day, I look at my school email and I have an email from the head of the high school
>its subject is smackey
>sweatingbullets.jpeg
>I open the email, and I'm greeted in the warm embrace of happiness
>>752177253
pre-type it in notepad before posting the thread next time newfriend
>>752180123
>email reads
>'we want you to help us find out who did what and when. talk to smackey. ask him about who might do something like this.'
>I'm heading my own fucking investigation
>I relax for a couple days
>lie low, don't really talk to anyone outside of my friend group
>grade is tense
>everybody's waiting to find out who the smacker was
>now's the time to tell em
>my email back reads
>'Dear head of school (let's call hi shittytits), I've been talking to smackey about who might have a grudge against him.
>I am sure it was Mark (a member of the football team). He was able to access Smackey's locker after hours, due to the home-game, and smackey said that Mark calls him names, like Gatorade boy
>*sends email*
