Story time /b/
The story of smudge the autist
>Was in high school
>There are a group of autists in our school
>they spent most of their time in a place called "The core"
>most of them were pretty chill
>except for one
>smudge
>he got his nickname because one time he was caught wiping shit over the bathroom stalls once
>he didnt seem to mind the nickname
>he thought people were being nice to him
Anyway I have a few good stories about Smudge I'll post as replies.
Part 1 the trip
>One time we went to a park in the woods to do some activities like kayaking and wall climbing
>the tards were brought but kept separate from the normal kids
>was my classes turn to go kayaking
>the tards were supposed to go at the same time as us as we were the smallest class
>we all go into the changing room to change to water proof clothing so we dont get our school stuff wet
>tards are kept in a separate changing room
>after a while we hear screaming from outside the door
>wtf.jpg
>smudge suddenly bursts through the door, screaming as a tard guard trials slowly behind him
>he starts screaming at individual people and dodging the tard guard
>his flaccid penis swinging around as he finally runs out of the room
And that was my first interraction with Smudge, the start of many more
Bump
Also hump
Me so howny
More pleS
Part 2, home economics
>was our first time in home ec
>School thought it was a good year to integrate the tards into normal classes because they recieved complaints from parents
>we were making rice krispie cakes today
>teacher pairs us up with tards to help them cook
>guess who gets paired with smudge
>teacher gives us all a bit of chocolate to melt
>fucking smudge eats that shit as soon as he was handed it
>teacher hands me a piece
> I melt the chocolate and start mixing the cereal into it
>"I WANNA MIX"
>wtf
>smudge instantly sticks his hand into the mix of rice krispies and chocolate, swirling it around the bowl
>he even fucking takes his hand out, licks the chocolate off it and continues to fucking mix
>Did I mention he stinks like absolute shit 24/7
>you can smell the pure stench of shit beforr you even see him enter the room
>teachers forces him out of the class and the tard guard comes collect him after he rapes the rice krispies
>>751547447
Did it SMUDGE all over him?
cont pls im digging these stroys
Part 3 The school dance
>In our school we had out christmas dance coming up
>live in scotland so its usually just a bunch of dancing with grills
>smudge wants a date
>he keeps asking girls but keeps getting rejected
>he goes to the dance anyway
>he looms like complete shit on the day, dirty polo shirt
>fucking cargo shorts
>my school has two halls
>one hall for the dance, other hall for some snacks set out, like a buffet
>in the middle of the dance, smudge keeps asking girls to dance
>they all reject him
>he eventually goes into a tard rage, pulling down a curtain
>pumpedupkicks.jpg
>he runs into the other hall and starts tipping over bowls of crisps, dropping orange juice to the floor
>teachers close the door and wait for tard guards to arrive
>guess who was one of the students locked in there with him
>its ya boi
>guess who also got covered in orange juice and had to go home
>ya boi
>smudge was suspended for a bit but wasnt forced to pay anything because of tard-ness
It's not a long story but also worth saying it that smudge once was caught jerking in class
>>751548083
Did he shoot a load or did he just SMUDGE A LOAD
>>751547655
Guess you could say that lol
Part 3 English
>I was in the same English class as smudge
> this was before we got separated for our abilties in subjects
>the desks were arranged so that two students could sit at them and look at the front
>english teachers puts me and smudge together because she knew I worked with him in home ec
>she doesnt know anout the "incident"
>nearly gag every second I'm sitting next to him, I didnt know one human could smell so much like rancid shit
>the teachet used to go around the class and and make us all read out one at a time
>she gets to smudge
>smudge can barely read takes ages to read out words
>he starts getting mad at the book
>literally rips pages out of the fucking book and spits in it
>teacher yells at him to get outside
>this only causes smudge to become worse
>he starts screeching at the teacher
>tearing my book before he runs out of the class
>teachers eventually found him in the bathroom
Screencapped, hope this is Neil level tard posts.
REEEEEEEEEEE
Part 4 the talent show
>Our english teacher thinks it would be a good idea if we do a talent show for the rest of the school
>she gives us the option to either perform or help with the production
>ya boi is on the lighting
>smudge loves magic
>he wants to do a magic act
>no one has seen his act
>tells everyone its a "surprise"
>its on the day
>im in the booth at the top so I have a perfect view
>a girl playing the violin comes off and smudge comes on to the stage
>literally all of school is there
>tard guards on standby just in case something happens
>He is wearing a shitty cape that has shitty stars glued to it, he brings out a magicians hat
>everyone on edge, he pulls out a stuffed rabbit from the hat
>what
>this is too normal for him
>he then scrambles around, looking for something, he looks like he is panicking
>he must of left something at home
>he just stands there, doing nothing
>english teacher telling him to come off
>he just stands therd
>was told by my friend who was sitting at the front that it suddenly smelled like even more shit than usual
>did he just
>he did
>he just literally fucking shit himself
>he just starts runs off stage, knocking over the girl that was getting ready to go on next, can hear crashing behind the curtain and screaming as tards are suddenly in pursuit
>they found him in the toilet again
>shit literally smeared in the toilet
>he grabbed the shit from his pants and tried putting in the toilet
>the janitor is good friends with my mother so thats why I know this
>smudge is suspended once again
>the principle questions the if the tard guards are doing an effective job
>one is fired
Nice one anon
Part 5 Smudge gets a girlfriend
>Smudge eventually starts hanging around with the other autists
>one is a small, downy girl
>she is pretty chill, she speaks to me on occassion
>smudge cums in his pants about the thought of having a girlfriend
>he constantly asks her to date
>she eventually says yes
>he does not leave her, just by walking by you can tell she is extremely uncomfortable
>we sit down in history
>he immediately sits down and shouts at someone for trying to take the seat next to him since he wants his gf to sit next to him
>tard guards eventually come in to sit next to smudge
>"Oh have you got a new friend?"
>"SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND" he screams out, downy girl looks like she's about to burst into tears
>"WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX AFTER AND GET MARRIED"
>downy girl runs out of room
>smudge is in swift pursuit, followed by the tard guards
I still don't know what happened to downy girl after that, as she was moved out of all of smudge's classes and guess who at this point was in all of his classes
>ya boi
>>751549946
Top kek
>>751549946
This thread got me fucked up
Last one for now, /b/. I'll be back later though.
Part 6 Smudge and the canteen
>Smudge usuly sits alone in the cafeteria
>for some reason he decides he wants to come over to my table with my friends
>"HEY GUYS"
>jesus christ what
>smudge never learned his indoor voice
>tard guard sits down too
>" I told 'smudge' to come over and make new friends since he knows you!"
>how dare you throw us under the bus thot
>" i can get you food"
>"No it's fin-"
>smudge ignores and runs over to the cafè
>he runs past the line
>tard guard says to me "Look? He's trying to do something nive for you all."
>smudge grabs a bunch of food with his bare, probably shit covered handd
>lots of it
> i mean
> lots
> he stands by the cashier and gives her a £5 and just walks off
>" Hey that isnt enou-"
>smudge fucking spits at her, some of his dribble gets on the food
> tard guards run up, grabbing him and attempting to get the food off him
>smudge refuses, screaming and throwing mini pizzas, brownies and shit like that
>a good £50 worth of school food on the floor
>he runs towards our table, dropping mushed up brownie as he sprints out of the cafe, probably towards the bathroom once again
I need to go for now but the best it yet to come /b/. This next "saga" is when smudge meets his first bully.
>>751551002
When will you come back op
>>751551585
Few hours?
>>751551642
11 or so?
>>751551002
Anon i want more give me moar
dude... this....
this is amazing
Why was this waste of life allowed among normal people..
I haven't seen a rare thread in a while, don't let it die
>>751552151
*tard thread
Keep the thread alive or abandon?
OP, this thread has given me keks aplenty.
I'd screen cap this, but I'm too fucking lazy...
>>751552298
If you have more to say, then do.
>>751552360
Not op, just a lurker
>>751552533
>dubs of accurate statement
Ah, you have any stories to tell? I'm trying to think of one bit I can't myself.
This is impressively good
>>751552701
I do actually.
>be me
>15
>am in acting class because it's easy as fuck and easy a
>there's a tard I'm the class
>fuckingperfwct.webm
>we are all doing monologues from movies or tv shows
>she does one from frozen or some shit
>It's a singing one
>I'm fucking done already
>she starts and sounds like a nail on a chalkboard
>off key and screechy as fuck
>starting at me the entire time
>it's the one song how love is an open door or some shit
>she finishes it
>she walks up to me
>"will you go out with me anon?"
>I'm just staring at her jaw dropped
>"Um, no you have too many chromosomes"
>she leaves crying
>teacher tells me to apologise
>I leave the class and go to Taco bell
>mfw someone was recording it
Op here can do another quick one whilst girlfriend is watching a movie
Part 7 Smudge and bully
>we were all mean to smudge
>some people more than others
>there were a group of kids that always loved to pick on him
>one day smudge had decided he had enough
>he asked to go to the bathroom during class, >the teachers always had someone escourt him since he always gets up to shenanigans
>I volunteer because I needed to go too
>as soon as we leave the class smudge had sprinted down the hall
> I would of chased after him but I didn't care
>I eventually got to the bathroom
>I found smudge hanging over some lockers
>wtf
>I come after, finally realize what he was doing
>he was literally pissing in one of their lockers
>oh christ
>run to get tard guard
>when we return, smudgr was no where to be seen, piss all over this one kid's locker
Got in trouble for letting him do it, worth
>>751553202
No fucking way any chance to see the video?
>>751553202
Lets see that recording, anon.
>>751553403
>>751553419
I wish I had the recording but sadly it was never saved. You know snapchat and all
Fuck it I'll post a tard story. I think this guy is going to grow up and either develop into a full out schizophrenic or just kill people women.
>be me senior year
>there's this sophomore Devin
>he's obsessed with basketball, and delusional stories
>he thinks we are friends
>playing against him in pe
>everyone destroys him
>he gets buttblasted
>i-i went to curry camp this summer guys my coach was Rocky Bennet
>goes on and on about how the coach of the Golden state warriors personally trains him every week
>Google Rocky Bennet
>not the fuckin golden state warriors coach
>he sticks to his story
>go over to bro teacher
>fill him in on this kids delusion
>he keks and calls him over
>we called him Larry harddick because he was obsessed with Lary bird
>"Larry harddick, is this your coach?" Teacher shows him pic
>he says yeah
>it was a fuckin mug shot
>teacher keks harder and tells him he's dumb
>kid just runs out of fuckin class and didn't show up for a week
>reappears, turns out he was playing basketball in the other gym alone
I'll post my senior prank attempt on this kid in a minute
Part 8 smudge and the new black kid
>We had a new kid in school
> he was of africna descent
>he comes into our geography class
>lets call him darkie
>"darkie would you please introduce yourself"
>"uh yeah.. My name is-"
>"AHAHHAA CHOCOLATE PERSON"
>Oh no
>literal screming from the back of the classroom
>its like he has never seen one
>to be fair, we live in scotland, the blacks wouldnt survive here
>darkie just stood there, completely embarrassed
>our geography teacher calls the tard guards, guards escort him out
>can still hear him screaming out in laughter "chocolate person" as he goes to the office
Me and darkie become good friends, still talk to him
>>751553731
>be me last week of hs
>fake friendship with Larry
>he starts showing up at my house randomly and shit
>says he fucked two different female sports teams
>try not to kek in his face
>playing against him in pe
>tell him to play as hard as he can
>he runs down court dribbling the ball way the fuck out in front of him and up by his shoulders
>cut him off and steal ball, run up court and wait for him to try and block the shot, drain it in his face
>everyone starts chimping
>he gets pissed as we all just keep destroying him
>someone asks me why I'm playing so hard because I usually just fuck off
>"my senior prank is going to be causing this kid to shoot the school over basketball"
>top keks
I graduated 2 weeks later and figured I'd never see him again. God damn I was wrong kept showing up at my house and messaging me on social media. You really just have to meet this faggot to understand the tard levels and delusions. He made himself a fake fucking jersey and acted like he was on the team.
Aight, I'll pitch in too.
>8th grade
>one day twin tards are put in my class
>loud, large twin tards
>react to everything with shouting and loud tard laughter
>no wranglers at our school
>classmate keeps annoying them on purpose
>shit's funny
>sneaks up behind them, taps both on their shoulders
>their heads snap towards each other, eyes filled with rage
>in unison
>WHY DIDJU DO DAT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>fists are slowly flying in retarded rage
>teacher tries to stop them, but tards are too strong
>lets us go outside while the tards finish
All in all, a pretty good day.
They stayed in our class for a week, and then we never saw them again.
>>751554516
Top kek. Why are tards allowed to live?
>>751553339
I've got another one. Kinda short though
>back in hs
>freshmen
>sitting at lunch with the guys
>across from our table is the tard table
>we sit in the back of the cafeteria, and so do the tards
>we are talking about some dumb shit like girls and the election or something
>the yards are just staring at us the whole time
>didn't really notice until someone pointed out
>we stare back at them
>one of them stands up and walks over to us
>It's a short fat tard that always smells like ranch dressing
>"GIVE"
>he's talking about the milk on the table
>give it to him
>opens it and starts loudly drinking it in from of us like he's a goddamn king
>"so can you like fuck off now?" Said a friend
>He slams the milk down, getting it everywhere
>He didn't even swallow the milk
>"WHAT? "
>saying that he spiled milk out of his mouth and on my friend
>friend decks the shit out of him
>the tards start coming at us like an army
>we dip
>mfw
>>751548562
there will never be another lightning raptard
>>751553202
>mfw people use mfw and there's no pic related
>>751553339
>locker
>Scotland
What kind of posh cunt school did you go to.
>>751555925
There was an okay school in inverness I went to, had to pay for lockers tho
>>751555834
My bad
>>751546749
>>751547038
>>751547447
>>751548083
>>751548523
>>751549373
>>751549946
>>751551002
>>751553202
>>751553339
>>751553731
>>751554101
>>751554215
>>751554516
>>751555343
>Bully an autistic kid
What a virgin asshole, get a life
>>751556914
found the bullied autistic kid
>>751556914
I've smashed but thanks for the concern.
Bump
>>751557333
>>751557366
>Think autism is a mental illness and think it's bad
HAHAHAHAHA you can't be more patethic
>>751557438
nice bait
>>751550151
It's fun to laugh at yourself
>>751557438
Well my story was about a potentially prodromal schizophrenic but whatever helps you sleep at night.
>>751553202
Fuck me!
I'm so glad I asked.
>Um, no you have too many chromosomes
I have to use this line at some point in my life.
Don't die. Bump
Bump
I will also throw in a story
>Be in middle school
>there is a tard who everyone at the school assumed he had aspergurs but not sure
>Since school was small he ended up sitting next to us
>the tard was fat and tall, obsessive over pokemon and anime
>one day during lunch out the blue "hey guys look what i can do"
>takes a fucking banana tries to deepthroat
>the fuck?
>Next day ends up telling us how he has fucked his coach and ate is cum afterwards
>DA FUCK IS HE TELLING US THIS
>Had a friend that shared a bus with him, friend tells me the tard has a crush on a qt
>later find out that the tard says he will break into her house and rape her
>tard actually confronts her and tells her that
>doesnt get report or repremended for saying that shit
>fast forward, tells her the stuff he told us previously to the qt and then proceeds to ask her on a date
>qt obviously rejects him and ruins his day
>had english that day,tard is in my homeroom unfortunately so i share classes with him
>teacher asks him to read something that the entire class was reading
>says no and proceeds to flip her off and everyone in the class
>gets taken to the office
>few months later my friends and i decide we can sit with this fucking tard and move to a new table
>he sits alone
>principal notices AND HAS THE AUDACITY TO CONFRONT US TO TELL US THAT WE NEED TO SIT NEXT TO HIM
>end up sitting with him for the day
>afterwards we decide to snitch/tell/explain why we dont want to sit with him
>JEW PRINCIPAL SAYS NO, WE HAVE TO SIT WITH HIM
>the principal also hated me for no reason that year so he knew this was a punishment not a school bully schpeal
>we ignore his requests
>after middle school, tard goes to a different high school
This is just part 1
Bumping with pic
>>751559777
Part 2
>interested if that was actually true
>go on his facebook to look
>find out he has a girlfriend
>Turn out the gf is not even in middle school
>disgusted at the thought, decided i will never again look at anything related to him
>also did end up finding pokemon tentacle porn on his wall
>>751559961
fuck. That's a good way to end the story. And unless anyone has something else to say- a good way to end the thrread.
But I'm bumping again just in case.
>>751549373
>Must of
guess they teach english better in serbia than scotland
>>751560980
This is /b/, not an essay. Fuck off.
This is op, I have some SUPER autistic stories from people when I used to play yugioh if anyone wants to hear them.
>inb4 youre autistic for playing yugioh
I'm well aware
>>751561416
Fuck yeah go ahead
I don't have any stories about issues with tards at school (potatoes were kept in the basement classroom away from people). But I used to volunteer at a special needs school on the weekends if there's any interest.
Just keep bumping and i'll get to it
>>751561292
It's your national fucking language,you should use it properly
>>751562365
eat shit lol
I'll pitch in too
> About 15 at the time.
>Going on a shitty geography trip to a place called Slapton in South West England.
> Rooms worked out so it was me, my friend and this kid called Toby.
>We think he can't be that bad
>Get there and unpack
>Seems normal enough. A bit over the top but they assured us he was fine.
>Walk back in room at about 6:00PM after our groups activities were over
>I brought a small amount of vodka in a water bottle and my friend brought some gin
>Get glasses out and start pouring.
> In the corner of the room: "I WANT TO DRINK OUT OF LITTLE GLASSES"
>haha...no.
> I see him run off to get dinner with his caretaker
>Thats that. Me and my friend pour it into some coke since it was too strong
>We leave to go talk to our friends in next room
>Get back half our later.
>Coke is gone
>What
>Toby is standing there.
> "YOUR COKE TASTES FUNNY!"
>oh god.
>We had to deal with a tipsy autist for the next 6 hours
> He smears shit on the bathroom walls
>I see the poor cleaner coming in and avoiding eye contact the next morning
Op here, yugioh story time
>back in 2015 I spent most my time playing yugioh
>Even went to prague to play
>I enjoyed playing at my local store but there would just be this one group of people
>I would always get matched against them
>ALWAYS fat, disgusting, smelled like complete shit 24/7
>they would pick their noses and then touch their opponent's cards
>but there was one
>one worse then them all
>literal piece of shit
>called himself the dragon duelist
>I have his yugiiog youtube channel if anyone wants it
>He'd literally scream at people for using meta
>he has actually been banned from card stored purely for his stench
>uses play mats with nude anime girls on them and plays against children
>he would NEVER wash his hands either
Can post more about him if you want
>>751563074
Any more smudge stories? I want to make another pun
>>751563074
What's his YouTube channel? I've got to check this shit out
>>751563074
Yes please
>>751563074
Would like to here more of this guy.
And what >>751563284 said too.
Also, bumping and Reddit spacing.
Kek this thread brings me back to high school 8 years ago. I got some funny stories to pitch in
>be me 16
>was one girl me and 2 friends in math class
>one girl, call her wolfie (because she was very violent and took no shit, something seriously wrong with her)
>she would seriously power walk down the hall almost sprinting to the cafeteria
>me and friends decide to fuck with wolfie
>bell rings, we run out of the classroom to the hall perpendicular to ours where she runs down from
>we lock arms and take up the whole hallway
>wolfie comes charging and clotheslines herself
>cantcontainlaughter.rar
>continue walking down hall
>wolfie gets up without us knowing
>wolfie punches one friend in the back of the head
>laughing even harder now
>other friend gets hit with a encyclopedia in the head
>ribs hurting from laughter
>wolfie looks at me and i just seen pure hate
>tries kicking me in ribs
>fails hard and busts her ass on the floor
>tears of laughter at this point
>take off running to other side of cafeteria
Hold up lemme find it
>>751563492
Anon please post more
Also top kek
>>751563852
Just thinking of this shit is fucking hilarious bro i got like 3 more good ones i can think of hold on im on mobile so itll take a sec to type
>>751564077
Please. I'm also a phone fag
Here you go, took a while but enjoy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5r3lk36ky4&feature=youtu.be
>>751563852
>be in 9th grade
>this huuuge ass retard, lets call him tony, hes about 6 foot 4 240 pounds of pure retard
>constantly wearing those cringy type shirts that have some super lame jokes on the front
>had a few words that would literally set him off, im talkin ape shit nanners
>so im walking down hallway see him the the tard wrangler
>the worst word to say near him was "teletubbies"
>walk behind friends and duck down
>hallway is completely packed with student mind you because its in between periods
>scream at the top of my lungs "TELETUBBIES"
>his eyes turn fucking red and becomes enraged
>starts screaming unintelligible shit
>scream it again
>friend starts laughing
>tony locks his eyes on him
>targetaquired.mpeg
>hes about 100 feet down the hall
>like a raging bull he just puts his head and shoulders down and charges friend
>friends eyes are as big as diner plates as he tries to run but its too crowded
"At this point im up against the lockers
>tony is going nuts as he mows down anyone in his way
>gets ahold of friend and tosses him like he weighed nothing
>friend flies back a good 10 feet and is in shock
>tard wranglers corral him into retard room
>friend gets 3 days in school suspension, tony gets nothing, i get a good laugh
>>751548083
>>pumpedupkicks.jpg
I laughed harder than I should have.
Op here, will post more Smudge stories when I get back home, they're getting kinda long now
>>751562046
Better start posting m8
>>751564574
He sounds exactly how I thought he would. Do you have a picture?
>>751564758
I'm fucking dead.
My sides omg
Part 4 the talent show was my favorite part
>>751546749
Anyone saved ROB WEAVER'S pic? He is such a hero.
>>751565586
Agreed
>>751565405
I'll need to try check his fb, he's one of the people who only posts anime shit
>>751565680
Check ROB WEAVER on fb. Such a legend.
>>751565818
This is now a ROB WEAVER thread.
>>751565680
is this it??
>>751566082
Nope, dragon duelist is extremely obese
>>751566082
That's certainty not the ROB WEAVER.
>>751566247
nvm thats his "team leader"
kek
More about dragon duelist quickly
>He got into an argumebt with a group on facebook because they called his deck shit
> argument goes on for a bit
>the grouo starts calling him a faggot and shit
>he does not take this kindly, he hates gays
>proceeded to dox his own girlfriend and post ger nudes on this group for everyone to see
>she is just as disgustung as him
>she breaks up with him.shortly after
He is legit chris chan of the yugioh community
>>751566526
I cannot even describe the cringe I'm feeling
Sorry for all the typos by the way, was walking home in pouring rain trying to type that.
Here you go, the dragon duelist.
>>751567282
oh god ew
>>751567282
>>751567282
Yeah, that's about what I pictured
Anyone have anymore stories?
>>751567282
Youtube pls
>>751562365
You're right they teach English very poorly in America, source I'm an American with hs diploma and the college required english courses and i still can't speak English very well
>>751546749
My turn.
>Be me
>be 16 in highschool
>there was this girl, we'll call her gnomes
>the most fucking awkward retard ever
>went to school with a white coat at all time absolutely covered in some kind of brown shit
>stunk like an orgy in a fucking tank
"carried a tiny notebook arpund like from Blues Clues and tons of crayons in first grader artbox at all times
>constantly wrote teacher shitty little comics which the always threw away when she wasn't looking
>I tried to be nice to her as people generally considered me nice.
>I come in late to Biology one time and we're doing a group project
>shes the only one left without a partner
>now im her partner
>"Hey Anon, who's your partner?" asked a friend of mine.
>"Oh, my good pal Gnomes here.
>she gives the ugliest, most hateful stare i've ever seen.
>"I'm not your friend. I hate you. I hate being your partner."
>Whatnigger?.esm
>I almost never speak to her
>never say anything mean
>we have been partners for all of 20 seconds
>she goes on and on the whole time about how she's better then me and she doesn't need me
>I don't care
>Then fucking stabs me with a pencil
>like ten times
>I take it and snap it
>she spergs out and starts crying to the teacher
>"A-anon brek my penzel!"
>teacher looks at me like i'm a piece of shit
>I tell her what happened
>my friends back me up
>doesn't believe me
>makes my sit in back of class for two weeks
>I get called to office later that day
>got written up for bullying
>bullshit
>talk to guidance counsaler instead of principle for some reason
>tells me i got reported for bullying
>tell her what happened
>she cares
>if it happens again i'm in big trouble she says
>translation, "Go fuck yourself."
>Get on with the rest of the day
>Feud for the rest of the year
I'll post more if anyone gives a fuck.
hey put me in the cap
>>751568886
Do tell
>>751556914
Loooool
>>751568886
I'm all ears.
I must know what file-type .esm is?
>>751568886
Post!
>>751569293
>.esm
google it faggot
>>751569593
no, twat.
>>751549373
>the janitor is good friends with my mother so thats why I know this
Lololol, guess who got his dick wet with ya mom. Hint: it's not smudge
>>751568886
Post more faggot
>>751569813
At least as we know...
That would explain his fetishes about shit and pee
Put me in the screencap
Alright, I got one
>be me
>5th grade in gym
>it was like the second to last gym of the year >and the teachers decided to bring in the tards
>for the first half of gym everything is good
>but then it happened
>at first it started out as a low groaning
>then it escalated into full on retarded moaning
>everyone turned their heads in awe
>two of the tards started fucking in the corner
>the entire gym went ape shit
>the tard guards were actually afraid to break it up
>eventually the two tards were sent out and >the rest of the day went on peacefully
>both tards were suspended
> eventually found out that the female tard got pregnant
>fucking preagnant
many keks were had.
>>751553645
Stop posting Dan
>>751568886
Back do to popular demand, Gnomes.
>From that day onward she had a goddamn hair trigger with me
>I was rapping with my friends
>I was popular because of the rapping even though I suck
>thatsthejoke.exe
>Gnomes has this bike she rode everywhere
>corniest thing ever
>gay little bell, tassles on the handlebars, shitty little basket mounted on the front
>she says some shit about how my raps aren't good
>i don't take that shit
>tell her she keeps going i'l steal her fucking bike
>she laughs like she just killed my family, "My bike has lock." She says with as much smugness one human could muster
>tell her i spit fire on the lock, melt that shit and scarp her bike
>she immediatley begins to cry not being able to counter that logic bomb.
>"Teacher! A-Anon say he stel mi bik!"
>teacher gives me the exact same look as last time
>don't get in trouble this time
>"Haha fuck you Gnomes!"
>Oh shit i'm in trouble for that
>Talk to the equivalent of a trad rangler at my school
>shes actually pretty chill
>"Anon, you cant keep picking on her like that."
>"I'm not she just cant leave her shit on her coat."
>she tells me that she knows Gnomes is a bitch but the schools going to automatically side with her due to her retardation so I should stay away from her
>anything I say to her by this point is going to set her off
>Have idea
>make it my goal to piss her off once a day
>one day she'll sperg out so much that they'll have to put her in trouble
>and I won't even have to try hard
>???
>profit
Wheres fucking OP?
I want more smudge
>>751570676
So what happened... what did you do? Tell us Anon.
TELL US NOW
>>751570183
Fuck off
>>751571361
>you posted after I just told you not to
>>751570676
continue please
Someone screencaped smudge stories ?
I'll pitch in too I guess
>In seventh-grade GT geography class
>Infamous tard kid that's been in my class since 4th grade is next to me
>We have a geography test on the US States and their capitals
>I'm sweating as I didn't study shit
>Look over at tard kid
>The fucker is using an atlas
>wtf.jpg
>After the test WAS OVER, the teacher came over and told him off
>"Oh, I thought it was an open note test"
>Nearly slapped him
>Tard didn't get punished
>>751570676
>Through out the whole year it only took one sentence
>"How ya doin' Gnomes?"
>"Don't call me Gnomes."
>and one stunt, didn't matter how trivial or minute
>one time she was reading a book about a talking spider
>she felt the whole class needed to know this and proudly announced
>Anon comes in, "Nigga i'm a talking spider watch." then I'd pull a piece of gum and stetch it out of my mouth
>she tells on me
>didn't do anything wrong can't punish me
>she would sneeze
>I would pretend to sneeze loud as fuck to cover her sneezing up
>she was mad that no one blessed her because they only heard and blessed me
>she would talking to on of my friends and i'd pop up and say, "Are you talking Ceara's boyfriend?" loud as fuck
>i'd rap on her and the whole class would hype me up because they always did.
>I randomly called her a lesbian in English and for some reason I thought it was so fucking funny I laughed for five minutes straight which made everyone else laugh
>the whole classroom was laughing with me cause I called her a lesbian
>even the teacher
>it wasn't obsessive
>just one thing every day
>she was so goddamn easy to annoy
>and no one like her so no one would help her out
>then one day she finally sperged out, the thing i've been waiting for
>it happened it English class....
>>751572468
Then post it if you have
this is my favourite thread I've seen in a while
Bump
>>751573195
I've been in it since I woke up, many keks have been had.
>>751571657
I told you to come in this thread cunt
Loving this thread. I have my own tard story to share.
>be me
>16
>science class is going strangely normally
>Look around to see why it's so oddly quiet
>DOOR SLAMS OPEN WITH THE FORCE OF AN ANGRY BULL
>turn head toward door so quickly my neck nearly snaps
>enter, The Grand Aspie, his name was similar to Jay-Jay, so that's what we will call him.
>drew a picrelated to help describe his grandeur
>he has bacon in his left hand and two slim jims in his right
>Jay-Jay has what he believes to be a refined clothing taste
>cream striped fedora, yellow polo, red and grey striped tie, white trench coat, nametag, green gym shorts, knee-high socks and crocs.
>oh yeah, and he's a nignog
>walks to his desk in the cartoony way that he does
>he has a speech impediment where he says TH as D and his Ls and Rs are Ws
>sits down loudly and addresses the ladies in the room in his horrible Stewie Griffin impression
>"good ahfdahnoon, wovely wehmen"
>bites all three meat snacks at once
>teacher already not having it
>"you're late again, Jay-Jay, but this time there's only 15 minutes left of class"
>class groans because we know what's coming
>Jay-Jay grins with delight
>Stewie impression: "wahnderful, den I can commence my pwe-postclass pewformance"
>teacher grabs phone to call wranglers
>Jay-Jay:"Ah-ah-ahh, nod so fast"
>jumps out of seat and begins tap-dancing while singing "Blue Moon" very very poorly
>half the class is laughing and half cringing
>he's now moved on to his Shakespeare segment where he is Juliet in the window
>door slams open once more
>tard wranglers have arrived
>sweetjesus.jpg
>Jay-Jay chimps out, tard style
>pulls off gym shorts and jukes out the two wranglers but slips and manages to pull the fire alarm
>school evacuating
>Jay-Jay took off down the hallway, now pants-less screaming "WHERE FOW AUT THOU WOMEO"
>My fucking sides have reached orbit
I'll contribute.
>Highschool, PE class.
>Main Basketball gym is closed for resurfacing or some shit.
>Class ends up in a newer and smaller gym for a couple days.
>Rando ffa basketball game going on while some kids are walking laps or bouncing balls against the wall.
>Doors open to the gym and the special ed class is escorted in, occupying the other half of the joint.
>Apparently this is where they're normally tucked away for activity.
>Best friend and I team up in the ongoing basketball game, he keeps going for 2 or 3 pointers and whiffing.
>Start to get agitated with him, I can actually shoot and I'm open.
>He get's the ball again and I've got a clear shot.
>"Pass me the fucking ball RETARD!"
>All commotion in the gym abruptly comes to a stop.
>Silence
>only the grinding sound of a motorized wheelchair slowly turning my direction.
>He's absolutely staring at me.
>The rest look to him as if he's their leader.
>Feels like time stood still for an hour, no sounds; everyone's watching to see what he does.
>He slowly turns back around and everything returns back to normal.
>Was fucking really weird.
I got a little story
>this tard in hs has asbergers
>always hopped on medication to the point he thinks he has a succubus in his head
>every one thinks this kid is nuts and makes fun of him
>one day he decides it's been enough
>tard brings a fucking sonic grenade to school
>let's it go in the cafeteria
>either a fake or he forgot to pull the pin bc nothing happened
> principal gives him 3 day suspension
>fucking tard privileges
Fucking retards are seeming to cause more and more problems why dont we fucking eliminate then so this shit doesn't happen?
>>751548083
>ya boi
Fuck off underage
DOA
>>751575230
Fuck off faggot I'm 20 and have used ya boi.
>>751574627
That guy seems rad as fuck
Last one. I've got to leave for practice
>freshmen year again
>this girl in our class is fucking bat shit
>always talks about anime, yaoi and hentai
>also always brings a 2 litter of diet coke yo class even though she's fucking 200 lbs
>brings this stuffed cat to class everyday
>one of my friends decides to hide it from her because it smells like horse shit
>she freaks the fuck out
>REEEEE.pepe
>teacher comes in and gets mad at my friend
>tard ends up finding it and goes over to my friend
>fucking bites him in the arm
>she gets shoved over and starts crying
>teacher suspends friend
>tard privrilges man
>>751572818
Gnome v Anon 3: A Waxy Conclusion
>That day I was feeling friskier then usual
>I decided that i'd exclusively communicate to her via finger bending to mouth my words out
>all day long
finger pops up two inches from her face, "How ya doin' Gnomes?" in a raspy voice
>I even got some other kids to do it to
>nineperiodsofconsistentfingerfuckery.jp
>we're at the last class of the day
>we're at the ten minute period were the teachers out of shit to talk about so we get to dick around
>I creep up behind her motherfuckin jaws
>daanadaanadana.txt
>"How ya doin Gnomes?!" Loud as fuck making her damn near jump out of her chair
>"Thats it Anon, leave me alone or bite you finger off!"
>"You want."
>gets bitten
>didn't lose finger fortunatlye
>whole class sees except for teacher
>everyone freezes
>my move
>I pull out and run over to the dish of melted candle wax my teacher has her desk
>dip infected finger
>sanitized
>"Goddamnit Anon, I said keep your finger out of my candle wax i'm done saying it!" says teacher
>"Gnomes bit my goddamn finger!"
>my friends back me up
>"Gnomes thats assault
>Gnomes shrugged
>"It was self defense."
>everyone stares at her in awe of retardation
>I go home
>go back the next day
>go to office
>Gnomes is there
>accuses me of sexual harrasment
>fucking what
>Don't know whether to laugh in her face strangle her
>principle who is a dick even knows shes retarded
>she says I took candle wax and put it in her mouth
>no
>tell them what happened
>they believe me
>get off scott free
>in-school for the rest of the year for her
>all my friends congragulate me for being the cause of the first disciplinary action takin against her ever since she started going
>nobody makes fun of me for getting bitten
>they think it's hilarious
>mfw when I antagonize a retard for a year and she gets punished and I get praised
>>751576335
Honestly, he was pretty fucking great sometime, I've got one of him in P.E. If there's enough interest
>>751576868
Post
Bump
Bump don't die
>>751572818
Is that where you get so many typos?
Spergy ruined the class?
>>751578200
Rekt
>>751572818
Is that where you get so many typos?
Spergy ruined the class?
>>751574627
After you pointed out the speech impediment I could only hear Tyson
>>751549373
>hey rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my ass
Low effort tard stories.
>>751575775
I'm thirty and only goozma from Pokemon has used that phrase since the 90s
>>751578615
Contribute then faggot
>>751578733
>almost like phrases and the way people speak varies by area
It's used in my area m8
>>751578733
this is used where i am, in liverpool, england
>>751546749
>be this autistic kid
>obsessed with cleaning
>3rd day he was found cleaning the toilets because there was shit'n'piss everywhere
>>751555834
>mfw
>>751579422
This thread if fucking killing my sides, I'll share one tard story too:
>Be me in highschool
>We have this tard but quiet partner
>Everybody was nice too him cause he was actually pretty calmed
>Sometimes the guys joked on him but not reaching the point of bullying him
One day in gym class...
>We had to use this stupid uniform that consisted in a white polo shirt and floppy pants
>Guys are joking on the tard
>One of them, pulled the tard's pants off
>He's using fucking tight boxers
>deepsilence.mp3
>Everybody had scared faces
>His fucking penis was like 7 inches... flacid...
>He putted on his pants and run with the principal
Like my father says: "Sometimes God gives meat to those who doesnt have teeth"
>>751570167
Thats some next level tardness
>>751578200
wooza, i'm being corrected on grammar by a raisin brained dunder head. This is a day for sharing indeed
>>751579040
>>751578922
So are you a nigger or just wish you were?
Include in screencap
Pugler be famous
>>751580070
>getting this upset over a fuckin phrase
Try going outside every once in a while man
>>751579623
>mfw
Ok so this isn't technically my story, but it happened to a mate of mine on a trip I was on
>be my friend, let's call him dan
> goes on a school trip to one of these adventure course kind of places
> Rooms have like 4 kids in them, dan gets dumped in with the tard
>one night the tard needs to take a shit
>next morning dan goes to the showers which are right next to the toilet
>dan gets in the shower and smells shit
>there's a fucking turd in the shower
>nobody used the shower for the rest of the trip
>>751574627
>"Ah-ah-ahh, nod so fast"
My fucking sides holy shit
>>751572086
do not fear anon i screencaped
>>751581367
Just smudge, or all? Cause alot of these are fucking gold
>UK highschool Y7 - Y11
>North West
>Tard called Matty inhabits the school
>Tall and gangly with black hair
>Built like a shaved chimp but woth mega hairy arms
>Complete tardo but sly enough to know he's a tard so he can play the system
>Goes APE SHIT over loose change
>If you ask him to sing you a song he'd say "Gis 5p" and if you did he'd sing like baman from baman piderman about onions and shoes and shit
>In our first year one of our Spanish teachers died amd if you ask him where she is he'd shout "DED!"
>If you picked up loose change he wantes he'd fucking charge you for miles and try and force it out of your hands
>In his last year he would shave about 1cm of hair from the front of his head so after a few weeks he basically had a reverse mohawk
Bumpiddy bump
>>751581780
Because he had a wrangler throughout his whole education he managed to pass uni even though he can't spell table
>>751581478
just smudge
we need to save more stories!!!!, this autistic heroes need to be remembered as they were
>>751556914
Found smudge
>>751546749
Where.Is.Smudge
pic related
>be me 21 yrs old
>bet with autistic boi facebook password
>win bet
>joy.png
>login on incognito mode on chrome
>autistic didnt notice notification that someone login
>saw all of his rolplay
>he wants the dick from his rolplayer partner
>sends pic
>at same time he was picking on a 10 yrs old for a meating in local park
>wtf.jpg
>girl doesnt want to
>he uses religion and math
>then he want nudes
>girl doesent reply
>meanwhile dude sends dick
>wtf.jpg
>he returns to his persona and rolplaying with the dudes dick
All of this must be screencapped, amirite?
>>751583625
need help screencaping
>>751583625
oh absolutely. I've taken a few of my favourites but I have a feeling someone is taking all of them
>>751583724
We have to be sure though or some quality keks could be lost
This thread is just pure Top KeK
>>751583858
this is true.
Speaking of autist fucking tards
This is the hardest is kek'd to a thread in many moons
Christ, far too many of the posters in here are pathetic.
>Oh man guys, this thread is so epic save it all so I can say I was in that thread
The only retards I can see here are you lot.
President Tyrone would be proud
>>751584192
You have idiot
Where are dem tard stories /b/?
>be me
>>751584192
>>751584322
Dubs confirms
You have idiot
>>751584705
get me in the screencap pl0x
>>751551002 this is amazing
>>751584798
Fuck you
>public school in england
>first day in third year
>ohshit.jpeg
>autist walks into school
>goes to his 'flex' class (retard class)
>escapes from flex and invades our french room
>nigga must be playing mgs because he sneaks in and hides under desk
>teacher doesnt notice
>everyone goes fucking nuts
>still stealth mode,sneaks out of classroom
>teacher still has no fuckin idea
Next day
>comes into school with autist
>has an empty bottle
>stands near school pond
>pleasefuckno.png
>fills up his 500ml bottle with pond water
>i hide
>he chugs the whole fucking thing
>everyone is bewildered yet amazed
>no one talks to him
>he loses all friends
>gets expelled for telling a teacher to fuck off
It was a very eventful day
Can i be in the screencap anons?
If i see this at a later date then hello me from the future.
bump for Smudge
>>751586139
Im newfag what is bumping?
>>751586210
bumping is when you post so the thread doesnt get archived
>>751586274
Ok thanks
need more SMUDGE!!!
>be me
>14 freshman
>be in moderate IQ biology class
>teacher give assignment
>says we can listen to music
>awwyiss
>listening to ICP like a emo
>look across my table
>see this semi-autism kid
>he's capable of speech, as far as i take
>most of the time can form rational thoughts
>has to take tard tests in class though
Basically they just took him and a bunch of other tards to another room to take "speshul" test
>the tard has headphones in
>hes on youtube
>screen has some anime fan art
>cant read the title, its in Japanese
>question him about it
>"ITS NOT ANIME ITS TOUHOU(?)"
>being normie, no fucking clue what that is
>he was known as the Anime kid
>constant bullying
>never physical, just "Touhou is anime" either said it or whispered
>one day in locker room after gym
>tard is really skinny, greasy hair, pedo stash
>fat friend says "Touhou is ANIME" right behind him
>He unleashes the mighty Tard Screech, of which ive only read in Tard threads.
>You laugh when you hear that sound
>Not me
>Not Fat-friend
>not anyone else in that locker room.
I graduated 3 years ago, and i sometimes see him in the "adult daycare" in my town.
I want more smudge dammnit
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE9O 8QJSJFHDI RJEIEBDOWUE JSOSHKSUSVDORKWPWHRLWURCKEI
>>751581478
I got smudge and some others going to make a picture with all of them but it won't be itt
Sorry OP but smudge stories a let down. Not sure why others are calling it “fucking gold”.
Dire at best
>>751555343
Sounds like something the goth kids would do to me and my friends (preppies) in my HS that was as close to tards as we would get i my schools ot many real ones though
>>751587315
>someone doesn't like watching train wrecks
>>751567282
That kid is a god
Bump
>mfw I've been itt since 10:30 and it's 7:15 now
Bump until OP returns
bamp fer smudge
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Pray.for.smudge
>>751588533
Same anon. This is the longest thread I've seen
I can post more of the cat lady if any intereat
>Tard Guard
>>751553202
>mfw this underage faggot should keep lurking
BUMP
Bumpan
Bump in the night
Keep this thread alive
LKJLKJ:LKJ:LKJ:LJK:LKJ
>>751586210
What's with the huge influx of newfags.
>>751553339
I'm from Scotland, so I know how the school system works.
You must be fucking retarded if you are in all of this tard's classes.
Seriously, classes are split into levels, and you've said you're inall his classes. You dumb piece of shit. Are you Smudge? Is that the joke?
Put me in the screencap
>>751590752
Fuck off attention whore.
>>751567282
>>751590752
Contribute something worth it faggot?
Op has returned
Part 9 top anime fight
>Was a normal day in school
>was gym
>teacher decided we should do badminton
>gay I know
>the "core" has a new tard
>he wasnt so bad
>just very hot tempered
>lets call him drool
>he likes to drool
>he grabs a badminton racket
>"HEY THAT ONE IS MINE."
>drool looks confused
>smudge comes storming over, demanding for his racket
>teacher sends a student to go get the tard guard for the brewing shit storm
>drool refuses to give up the racket
>no joke, smudge then picks up another racket and hita drool across the head
>drool starts to scream in anger
>drops his racket and musters up any sort of tard rage inside him
>smudge also decides to scream, trying to assert his retard dominance
>but like an autistic hulk, drool lets loose a retard punch of the century, knocking smudge to the ground
>smudge's screams were mixed with cries as the tard wranglers eventually come in to break up the fight
>that moment when drool was separated from all of the classes smudge was in
>smudge tried to brag to females that he was in a fight
>gets rejected obviously
>>751554101
Based smudge
>>751567282
>>751591184
Oh shit nigger.
>>751590711
If you look before I said that this was before we were separated bh ability. The first two years are randomly put together classes until the teacher recommends what level you will be put in.
>>751591184
Bumping with god-tier album
>>751591184
Glad you're back op. I'm Milk anon
>>751591671
They're amazing live, man.
>>751558033
Einstein was autistic dummy
God Emperor get
>>751592115
Really want to see them live, but I can't deal with the crowds
Part 10 Smudge has a birthday
>Smudge for some readon thought everyone had liked him, and decided he was going to throw a party at his house
>he came up to me and my friends table at lunch with his tard guard and gave us small invitations
>"Little smudge is having a celebration for his birthday... And he really wanted his friends to come."
>he also handed out invitations to girls in our school
>initially none of my friends or me was interested in going
>but we thought it must be funny to see what his house looked like, plus we were told we'd be taken out for dinner later
>we were also told a bunch of people were invited, so it couldnt of been too bad, right?
>boy were we wrong
>literally only me and my 4 friends showed up.
>his house was surprisingly nice, when we arrived his mum and dad greeted us and told us smudge is in his room
>we go up to the room, already considering leaving but we thought people were just late
>the closer we got to his door, the more it stunk of complete shit
>we knocked on the door
>smudge opened it, he was completely fucking naked
>what the fuck
>without even saying anything we just go downstairs but are stopped by his parents
>"MUM WHERE'S MY SHIRT"
>"In your bottom drawer honey"
>"I CANT FIND IT"
>we suddenly hear a large smash, followed by a scream
>..."It's probably best you go.."
His poor mum, this story isn't the best but just wanted to highlight how much his mother wanted him gone
>>751592588
If you see them in a club, just stay to the top of the venue away from everyone. If at an ampatheater, buy seats.
>>751592687
I feel bad for his parents.
>>751563284
You sick fuck
>>751574627
I need every Jay-Jay story you have
i have a short one
>transfer to new hs after moving
>second day here, still trying to find a good lunch table to sit at
>table i sat at the first day was full
>spot open table in the middle of cafeteria
>think it's weird because there's full tables surrounding it
>still go for it
>what i didn't know is that this table is "reserved" by a downy
>he wasn't there at the moment so i just sit down and do work
>downy walks up to table, has a really small face with exaggerated features (big lips, droopy eyes, etc.)
>have earbuds in so i don't notice him
>he's mumbling something in tard speak (somehow people understood him even though 80% of what he said was too slurred to be intelligible)
>ignore him, think he's talking to someone else and that a tardwrangler will prevent anything
>out of fucking nowhere he throws his body on the table
>slowly turn over to him, see his eyes staring through my soul
>collect things, leave as fast as possible
i eventually saw him again after he graduated. nigga was sporting a goatee
Guess I'll contribute. Nice thread btw
>be me
>be freshman (Amerifag)
>it's PE
>Tards are allowed to walk around the gym and do what the fuck ever they want for, "Exercise"
>Most just sit around and make weird tard noises
>Nothing fun really happens
>Then some Stacy decided to bring in McDonalds or some other fast food.
>This one giant nigger tard that usually is quiet and doesn't say much decided he wanted the McNuggets
>Tard charges at Stacy
>Stacy panics, tries to run
>Tard doesn't slow down, fucking rams stacy full force.
>The food bag falls out in the floor
>Tard manages to shove a few fries in his mouth before wranglers grab him
>Screams, then runs
>Wranglers chance after him
>Stacy got back up and bitched to the teacher about the tard
>Never knew what happened to the tard
>>751568889
Get cancer and then die you stupid nigger
>>751592687
You could call him stain instead, since his mom could not wipe away the smudge
>>751592791
I imagine all parents with tard babbys want them to die, or rather that they've never been born. Obviously you can't say this though. You put on a brave facade and pretend that you love the drooling little shit heap.
>>751593155
>brings mcdonalds to pe
>be amerifag
You don't say.
>>751592691
I'll see if something like that comes up, thx for the tip
>>751593497
NP. Metal crowds are hectic. I can deal with them just because I've been to so many metal shows.
>>751556914
dont knock it till you try it
>>751593155
>brings McDonalds to PE
Are you sure she wasnt a tard too?
>in highschool
>no classes with tards but always see them at lunch
>one stands out from the crowd
>dresses in micheal jackson shirt and black slacks
>has one glove on
>bunch of preps get him to dance around and touch his junk
>puts a show on every lunch break that hes aloud out
>hilarious
this thread is fucking great haha!
Part 11 the smudge dance
This is one of my favourite /b/
>everyone in the school is gathered to the main theater
>school thought it would be cool to get a christian rock/rap group in to perform for us
>they spoke for ages about christianity and loving before playing anything
>they just had generic rock shit
>literally everyone was seated, not doing anything
>everyone didnt like having this shit forced on them
>except for one
>that's right, based smudge
>he stood up in the middle of the aisle of seats and starts dancing to the music
>it was either that or he was having a fit
>he was clearly making everyone around him uncomfortable
>this went on for a few songs before they eventually invited smudge on stage to talk
> all the teachers shitting it
>smudge happily goes up on stage
>"As a pastor, it warms my heart to see kids your age enjoying our music."
>"I LOVE PASTA"
>oh no
>chriatian rock guy confused, everyone sitting in stunned silence as smudge then goes up to the keyboard player
>"CAN I HAVE A SHOT?"
>he starts mashing keys, tard guards eventually come up to try take him off stage
>smudge literally picks up the keyboard and throws it at them before disappearing into the darkness of the stage
>was probably found in the toilets later or something
>rock group never came back
>school was forced to pay for damages
>>751549373
damn, I know /b/ doesn't have the best opinion of the mentally handicapped but I just can't help but feel bad for smudge in this story. just damn...
>Be me, car crapped out so in shop
>Still have to get to work and crap
>I'll just wear earbuds and take the bus
>Potato is on bus talking the driver's ear off
>Can't tell if Tato is 14 or 34, but telling drive "it my birfday."
>Tato is going to a bar that night to celebrate
>Tater is hard a hell to understand sober and annoying as fuck
>"I got this for tonight" Spud holds up a fifty
>Boiled Potatoes is gonna be super fucked up!
>Old dude behind me laughs about how someone's gonna wind up tossing drunk Tater in a dumpster before the nights up
...
>>751595500
continue
>>751594587
Anymore smudge stories, OP?
Bumping with nazi tits. Also, thoughts on the subject?
>>751596078
Durr fucked that up
>>751595500
>A couple days later Scalloped Tatos was on the bus again telling the driver that looks like he's on the edge of his sides fly off about his Bday
>No one would server Tats because they allready thought he was drunk
>Says he ended up at a dive bar by campus
>Not a good place for a mongo
>Sweet tater had a few drinks and I'm guessing got kicked out for annoying people
>Asked a bartender friend of mine about if he saw a short tater tot roll up on the hill.
>Friend starts laughing, big baller tato kept sending drinks to a group of girls
>Ran out of money pretty quickly and tarded out when the bartender wouldn't keep giving him drinks
>King Tato got kicked out only to come back and break some glasses
>Tater ended the night in cuffs on his way to the drunk tank
This thread deserves a bump for every extra chromosome in these stories
>>751579623
Top fucking kek on the pic, best post in this thread. amazing
>>751581780
>is a tard
>charges you down over fucking pennies
fuckkkkkkk we got kike tards now? what hell man?
There are small things left like
>In my last year of school, he pissed in the kettle in the student commonroom
>he shit in the gym closet because he couldnt wait for the bathroom
> he spilled paint over another students painting because the teacher told him to try make his painting more realistic
>he smashed a wall in the gym in a fit of retard rage which had to close the school because of possible asbestos
>smudge also decides to scream, trying to assert his retard dominance
Bump
>>751548083
>live in Scotland
+respect
>>751597438
hell yea
>>751596170
>Nazi
>freckles to hell
I...don't think that adds up...then again not any many german hoes.
Tard Dump Bump
>>751549946
Why did you have so many classes with this kid? Are you retarded too?
>>751598669
The joke is that he is smudge
>>751567282
No fedora?
>>751547038
post more smudge faggot
>>751569293
Elder scrolls master file. Its for modding skyrim oblivion and morrowind
Any other tard stories? Anyone?
>>751598669
Do you want the full story why? Its not very interesting
>>751546749
Here's my tard story
>Kid is named Pterodactyl Kid. His tard screech literally can be heard through the entirety of the school.
>We have a pool table approx. 50 feet from Tard HQ.
>Bunch of us are playing pool, and hear the battle cry of Pterodactyl Kid.
>Everybody stops, looks over. He comes running at us.
>We'redead.jpg
>Wranglers get to him before imminent death.
>Screech.wav
>He kicks this sweet old wrangler in the leg with the force of 1000 regular men.
>Fuckin' snaps her leg.
>Never heard from again.
I've heard rumors however that he has since died (after he "graduated")
>>751600122
>died
That's a weird way of spelling "been neatly disposed of by his family"
You gotta feel bad for smudge to be so f’d up in the head
But dear god continue op the ribs ar aching
>>751600122
reddit fag
Contribution Time
>Be me 17 Senior Year
>In a class for people with jobs that lets them out early
>One aspie in class 19
>Has a crush on this whore who post blatant ass pics on instagram
>One day as I'm walking to the class see him with a piece of paper standing outside the door
>Notice girl coming this way
>He perks up
>I ignore and go inside
>Later he gets called into a separate room and gets yelled at by councilor and principal
>He leaves to go to his tard class
>He also leaves his computer on signed into chrome
>Me and some friends investigate
>Our discovery was shocking
>His google drive had several files with images of whore girl
>Cringey half-finished fan fictions and stories
>A metric shit-ton of lesbian porn videos saved as slide shows
>Immediately begin a massive mission to delete it all
>I'm efficient with this shit
>After I delete it I go into the trash and delete is forever
>Friends kek each time I delete something
>Aspie returns and has a full on panic attack literally bawling
>Friends and I holding back our keks as the tard wranglers take him away
>>751600380
I have no official proof that he has died or "has been neatly disposed of" as you have suggested
thread is almost dead, quick go to this one >>751601206
>>751601026
May I ask why you believe I'm a Reddit Fag?
Op here, I just found smudge's facebook and am fucking crying at his posts. Will dump.
>>751601342
>greentext
SPACE
>greentext
SPACE
>greentext
>>751601415
Personally for me it's sometimes out of habit.
I dont get on reddit either.
>>751601415
I'm sorry for wanting my terribly written story to be somewhat readable.
Do I browse Reddit occasionally? Yes. But for whatever reason, my heart remains here, on this board.
Fuckin hell I gotta drop a story now
>Be me, 17
>Coming in from lunch to go to biology class
>Pick up notes and books and make my way over
>Bunch of people standing and taking up the hallway
>Fuck this, I'll go around
>Hallway blocked from other end
>Ask my buddy who happened to be there what the fuck was going on
>Tard was walking around and went into a laboratory class
>Locked himself in and began panicking
>Began shitting himself profusely as he ran around in his feebleninded daze
>Apparently crop sprayed an entire class floor with shit
>Initially think my friend is playing but one sniff proved him right
>Biology class was cancelled
>>751546749
Holy fuck I love story time
Love it OP
>>751570167
I call it bs, tards are sterile
>>751602371
Sterile doesn't mean the endocrine system doesn't work. Just that they (thankfully) don't reproduce.
MY TURN
>be me
>senior in HS
>midget jap aut kid with rage issues, gets into fights all over school (teachers included)
>nicknamed "squeal of terror" lets call him Squeal
>my group and i decide to be extra high one day and pick on him at lunch
>sits at table right next to us
>watching some cartoon thing
>I start screaming randomly and my friends start making monkey noises
>others are noticing and begin to do it too
>finally looks up after a minute of aut baiting
>stare at him dead in the eyes and pretend to stab my balls with a pencil (im a good actor)
>niggered.mp4
>Squeal smashes his phone and jumps on the table, stepping on lunch.
>Ultimate squeal of destruction commences
>school has thin walls so everyone hears and freezes
>we immediately go back to eating like we were innocent
>no tard guards just underpaid teachers
>6 teachers to calm down and takes whole lunch time
>our table kekd to another universe
>no cameras
>witnesses take my side
>got away with it
>ultimate meme within grade
>now Squeal is afraid of me, runs when he sees me and uses different table at lunch
I got one more...Cont?
>>751592909
Oh, there will be more when I get off work
>>751602870
Start a Jay Jay thread before this one is pruned, NIGGER.
Anyone screencapped the smudge story?
