ITT: We describe movies badly and others guess what they are.
Volume VI
>A bad cops summons all the cops to kill a guy with a 12 year old girlfriend
>>750859004
Not yet guessed:
1
An alien pretending to be an Englishman wreaks havoc across Europe, abducts a young boy, becomes the greatest filmmaker of all tiem.
2
Jenny does a pretty good English accent.
4
Man falls in love with a heartless woman. Heartless woman leaves man for heartless man. Sad movie is sad.
5
Pre-teens steal a car, a nice man is framed for murder, the little girl did it.
6
Then how are they supposed to eat cereal?
7
A lonely whore reads too much Nietzsche fucks her way to the top, then throws away a hundred grand for a guy who treats her the same as all the others.
8
Bald guy's girlfriend gets him off his meds, nig dies in race car accident, midgets everywhere, bald guy looks at the sun.
9
A herpetologist with frequent flyer miles has the best day ever!
10
A writer's lawyer rapes an artist. Get's away scott free.
>Be me, literal savior of humanity
>Get sick
>Stupidly ingest random bottles of pills
>One of them may or may not be used for chemically sterilizing dogs
>Also, there's a hot chick who wants me bad.
>She just doesn't want me the way you want a girl to want you
>>750859099
Leon the Professional
Good luck
>college student owes massive debt
>gets hunted down by debt collector
>goes on a long walk to get money
>>750859150
>Leon the Professional
You beat me to it.
>>750859119
Number 2 Is Shrek. Jenny is a name for a female donkey so donkeys gf is jenny. And they speak English cuz you know they're English.
>a redhead has consumption
>>750859214
No, but there is a giant ogre in the film... sort of.
>>750859150
Is it one of Rob Schneider's lyrics?
I think it was called animal Maybe?
>faggot is so obsessed with a manchild that he makes the manchild work himself to death
>>750859290
Oh duh it's Forrest Gump
>>750859304
>lyrics
I hope to fuck English isn't your first language, anon.
And not the Animal. But that character was about as stupid as the one in my movie.
>>750859353
No... Jenny didn't have an English accent in that.
>>750859356
It's fucking autocorrect
>>750859392
What was it supposed to say?
>undercover cop infiltrates gang of thieves
>become good friends with most of them
>switches sides
>>750859119
9 snakes on a plane.
>>750859415
Movie
Guy works at construction
talks with funny guy that commited suicide
He tells him it's not his fault
Guys defend his friend in a bar but with words, not punches
Guys quits his job at the end
The other guy can finally seat in front of the car
>>750859473
Yes.
>>750859489
Wow.
>>750859461
Beyond the law with Charlie Sheen
>>750859119
>A herpetologist with frequent flyer miles has the best day ever!
raep on a plane
>>750859522
Nope.
>>750859461
Point Break
or
21 Jump Street
or
The Fast and the Furious
I'll bet you were thinking of Fast and Furious
>>750859150
I am Legend?
>>750859495
Good Will Hunting
>>750859119
>A herpetologist with frequent flyer miles has the best day ever!
The Man?
or was he a dentist?
>>750859555
>Fast and Furious
You got it.
>>750859568
yes
its not your fault
>>750859568
its not your fault
>>750859150
hernetator
>>750859150
>Leon the Professional
also yes
>>750859191
sosad.jpg
>>750859570
>>750859545
>>750859473
I've never actually seen Snakes on a Plane. I just assume that that's what it was about.
>>750859391
princess bride
>>750859624
Bingo.
>>750859119
2 down. 7 to go.
>>750859617
It is and it's pretty fucking stupid too.
Stupid normies like it they think it makes them cool I guess.
dudes learn karate fast and talk on phones and he beats the crap out of everyone easily at the end.
>>750859513
fuck yeah, i got the Grinch too.
>>750859708
The Matrix
>>750859676
Is number 6 of The Human Centipede?
>>750859329
mad max 3
>Smartest person on planet
>Everything is sponsored
>MFW it's what plants crave
>>750859742
Look at the brain on Brad!
>>750859787
No, but that's funny. 6 is one that was solved in this thread.
>>750859796
Nope.
Ready for a hard one? This is not a joke and I am not trolling. This is a real movie and I promise you that 90 percent of the people ITT have at least heard of it.
>Green guy is main character
>He has an animal sidekick and they go on an adventure together
>Animal sidekick looks like a donkey but it can talk
>Animated movie but not traditional 2d animation like The Little Mermaid or Aladdin
>Not Shrek, The Grinch, Monsters Inc or The Mask
>>750859826
Idiocracy
>>750859708
woah
>pussy is new in town
>gets guy out of rut
>guy and friend kill people for this pussy
>goes to jail
>happily ever after
>>750859600
it's not your fault
>>750859833
What was the answer to 6 I can't find it?
>>750859868
I'ma fuck your mom's ass with a rake.
>>750859868
>>750859562
>I am Legend?
No.
>>750859605
>hernetator
Close enough.
>>750859751
dude, you're good. yes
>>750859833
this is a tasty burger.
>>750859915
I worded that poorly. It was someone else's clue.
>>750859894
its not your fault
>>750859868
Rango?
>>750859981
Give me another clue I can't figure it out?
>>750860020
holy fuck that movie sucked so much ass i forgot it existed, and i even saw it in theaters with a friend of mine
>robot fucks a decapitated bitch.
>>750859868
The hunt for Red October.
Max is not happy
John Leguizamo at his most annoing. There is only one movie that fits this.
>>750860046
What would prevent you from being able to eat cereal?
>>750859985
fuck you anon
candies. they burp, that's hilarious. they all die but one.
>>750860078
winrar
>>750859119
>Pre-teens steal a car, a nice man is framed for murder, the little girl did it.
Josh and S.A.M.
>>750860096
Being fucking poor
>>750860098
its not your fault
>>750860131
Never heard of it, no.
>>750860096
fuk... the matrix
there is no spoon.
cherlie and the pedorast factory
>>750860020
>>750860078
No.
>>750860127
>winrar
You should at least tell them it's Shrek.
>>750860057
I saw that in the theater to, are you Tom?
>>750860178
>trollface.jpg
>>750860185
nah
i saw it with a grill
A crew of Germans sing It's a Long Way to Tipperary.
>>750860089
Romeo and Juliet??
>>750859119
6 to go.
>>750860096
Being out of milk?
Getting my head chopped off?
The wife won't quit nagging?
>>750859868
>>750860184
Okay there's no way you're not fucking with us if it's not any of the movies you've mentioned.
What else could it possibly be?
>>750859119
>Man falls in love with a heartless woman. Heartless woman leaves man for heartless man. Sad movie is sad.
Magnolia.
This will be my only guess. Fuck you.
>>750860096
The eye hole man? a lack of spoon?
>kangaroo and lesbian kill rich white men
>>750860089
The Pest
>>750860258
Is the answer The Matrix?
I've never seen it why can they not eat cereal?
>>750860268
Fantastic movie, but alas! no.
>>750860295
Because there is no spoon.
>>750860184
it's not your fault
Serial killer kills man's family and kids.
Doesn't get the physically deformed son
Son later gets kidnapped
Father has to travel thousands of miles to find physically deformed son with help of mentally disabled woman
>>750859578
I didn't realize that movie had a plot
>>750860211
I can be a girl.
>>750860255
I promise you, you've heard of the movie or at least the TV show. It's an entire series too.
Big hint there!
>Dem biches can't drive
>>750860234
can you update list?
>>750860345
Bambi
psychic girl saves her brother
>>750860319
It's there cereal and milk and bowls?
>>750859119
#6 The Matrix?
>>750860274
Kangaroo Jack?
>>750860345
friends?
>>750860098
its not your fault
>>750860407
No. Sorry, it was Shrek.
>>750860233
no
>>750860287
he knows, he knows the pain
>>750860357
hot
>>750860403
>Not yet guessed:
>1
>An alien pretending to be an Englishman wreaks havoc across Europe, abducts a young boy, becomes the greatest filmmaker of all tiem.
>4
>Man falls in love with a heartless woman. Heartless woman leaves man for heartless man. Sad movie is sad.
>5
>Pre-teens steal a car, a nice man is framed for murder, the little girl did it.
>7
>A lonely whore reads too much Nietzsche fucks her way to the top, then throws away a hundred grand for a guy who treats her the same as all the others.
>8
>Bald guy's girlfriend gets him off his meds, nig dies in race car accident, midgets everywhere, bald guy looks at the sun.
>10
>A writer's lawyer rapes an artist. Get's away scott free.
>>750860407
Yes
>>750860347
The first couple did. After that it was just OMG CARS GO FAST
>>750860295
No spoon
>>750860345
Finding nemo.
>>750860401
the force awakens
>Former thief plays detective with his homosexual acquaintance
>>750860455
>An alien pretending to be an Englishman wreaks havoc across Europe, abducts a young boy, becomes the greatest filmmaker of all tiem.
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
>>750860478
yez
>>750860488
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
>>750860509
>Superman
>Englishman
No.
>>750860451
Kek
>>750860476
Why don't they just use a bowl like a cup?
>>750860363
Gumby
>>750860541
You should probably just watch the movie. It's a classic.
>>750860434
>>750860535
Superman IV had a Superman clone played by an English actor.
>>750860560
If they're not smart enough to just drink out of a bowl I'm not sure the movie could be too good.
1
>Timetraveler destroys killbots that murdered his family and kills biochemical lab monster.
2
>Overpayed american professionals travel to mexico and kill gangsters with a dope clothing swap.
3
>Man wears a daiper, turns out to be a mega genius and kills everyone.
4
>Sheriff goes on long journey to assassinate a man who threatens his home life.
>He fails and moves to a new home.
a dude is forces to shoot a bunch of guys and then the guys shoot back and the dude gets mad and shoots the fellow who forced him to shoot the guys and now everyone and their dog wants to shoot the dude.
>>750860529
Yup!
>>750860554
YES!
Good job, anon.
>>750860642
1: terminator?
>>750859150
Terminator 3
>>750860595
I raffed, and therefore I roose.
>>750860622
Oh. Never saw it.
>>750860627
You're right.
>>750860658
First Blood?
>>750860689
i didnt realize they made a movie but holy shit makes so much sense
>>750860716
He's lying, it was Shrek.
>>750860226
I bet you guys know this one, it's a sad movie
>>750860708
>First Blood?
nope
Danny Trejo as Danny Trejo
>>750860738
das boot
>>750860738
Is it a Tarantino movie?
>>750860765
machete
>>750860782
yup
>>750860765
Danny trejo biography ez
>>750860803
No it was Spy Kids
>>750860805
a great classic, worth every minute
>>750860696
Nope. Good guess though.
>>750860642
>3
>>Man wears a daiper, turns out to be a mega genius and kills everyone.
scary movie?
>>750860840
indeed.
Top 5 of war movies
Basically Town of Salem (the video game) The movie, a sheriff, a jailor, a mafioso, a disguiser disguised as executioner etc.
>>750860846
Last year's presidential election
>get off the pinball machine bish
>>750860846
Did Doofy wear a diaper? It's been years since I watched that
>>750860883
Hey-o!
>inna desert
>strange shit happening
>car gets eated
>building eated
>hawks NBA champions and .50 bmg
>bunch of shit sequels
another one:
Selma Hayeks glorious tits. There was some singing, some shooting, but most importantly dem tiddies.
>>750860889
That movie came out when I was a kid. I got in trouble for watching it at a friends house. Good times.
>>750860936
Transformers
>>750860846
Not what I was trying to describe, but that does fit the bill. I'll add some details.
>Man wears diaper, learns to read, turns out to be a genius who is the next generation of evolution, and subsequently kills everbody.
>>750860941
Wild wild west?
>>750860955
no, way too recent
>>750860994
I was going to say that but there's no singing. Is it one she did with Antonia Banderas?
>>750860698
Yes
>>750860941
Desperado
or
Dusk till Dawn
>>750860994
did she show them puppies in WWW ? I dont remember that. Also that was years later. The movie I think about she was under 30
>>750861015
desperato
>>750860886
brooke shields was begging for dick before that movie.
>>750861039
She did not. She showed her ass kinda.
>>750861035
>Desperado
>>750861044
>desperato
I was thinking about that but DtD would probably fit too
>>750861039
Naw no tits in www, I just remember seeing her the first time in that...diamonds
>>750861085
mmmm
>>750861085
did have her in skimpy shit and a corset
made dem tits even bigger looking
[spoiler]Testing the spoiler feature.[/spoiler]
https://www.xvideos.com/video1319630/salma_hayek_-_desperado
this scene is in xvideos now .. lol
>>750861051
wait wut? also no
>>750861150
this aint [insert other not shit chan here]
>>750860880
This was Hard Eight
>>750860658
This was John Wick chapter 2.
you guys fucking suck holy shit.
>>750861190
>john wick 2
makes sense in hindsight, maybe one specific plot point of that would have helped, like saying inna giant temple thing or bath murder
>Some retards escape a mental facility (I assume) and rob a house. But they don't do it well.
>A fighting couple become an accessory to robbery.
>A bank heist goes right, and fuck the jews (until the end of the movie).
>A bank robbery goes right, so a guy is all "I can do that.", but learns that he can't, so he gets help from the first robber.
>Some guy puts on weight and some other guy falls off a roof.
>A guy gets hit by a car (kind of) but doesn't get injured. Also, Nazis.
>>750860803
yes.
>>750861157
most movie nude scenes end up on pornhub or xvideos until the studio has them taken down
>>750861280
>>750861280
>>Some guy puts on weight and some other guy falls off a roof.
The Santa Clause
>alientraps
>>750861169
actually other boards have spoiler just not /b/
>>750861280
>>A fighting couple become an accessory to robbery.
Does this have Kurtwood Smith at the end?
>>750861245
i could have said a LOT more, but i was supposed to describe a movie badly, morpheus having pigeons doesnt describe the movie.
A fucking lobbyist ends as a protector of the first amendment. At the end opens a firm that teaches people to lie.
>farm boy kissed by sister in front of bff and his pet dog.
>>750861339
Yes.
>Man stays at a hotel with his daughter and long-time friend
>A man finds furniture in strange places
>Hitler takes himself too seriously
>A model isn't just physically beautiful
>He can actually levitate
>>750861417
No, but it does describe it badly.
>>750861427
star wars
>>750861474
>No, but it does describe it badly.
this.
saying :minigun rain black man brain scan" also describes the matrix
>>750861481
hell yea
>>750861401
Not that I remember. I really want to say no.
I should be more specific, I suppose. It's more that the couple harbors a fugitive.
>>750861511
And is also a nice little poem. :3
An eccentric aristocrat's long lost family member returns after being lost in the Caribbean. A botched heist plot ensues and the family is removed, then reinstated to their home after love and lightning restores memories.
>There is more H2O on earth than any scientist would reasonably believe.
>>750861555
The movie I'm thinking of is a comedy, so I don't think I'm right.
>>750861579
water world?
>>750861579
Noah
>>750861421
it's not your fault.
>>750861562
The Addams Family
>>750861629
Bitch, it might be.
>>750861467
Indiana as the last Deus Vault
>>750861629
nope
>>750861662
winner.
>>750861421
Thank You for Smoking
>>750860642
I'm going to sleep and this board doesn't support spoilers so I'm just going to post the answers.
1. Dragonball Z: History of trunks (Meant to lead you to think it is terminator)
2. Three Amigos (a little bit obscure due to it's age)
3. Zardoz (who even remembers the plot of his movie??)
4. Toy story
I am the best puzzle master and all knees shall bend at my command. Git fucked, see you later.
Love,
0nnA
>Guy becomes a pirate, then turns out to be a good guy.
>A lobbyist doesn't get cancer.
>>750861610
>water world?
Yep>>750861624
>Noah
Noaj
mentally unstable man tries to get free plastic surgery to look good for a prostitute
>>750861592
What I'm thinking of is a comedy.
>>750861743
fuck you, weebshit
>>750861743
Dragon ball Z!? That shit don't count. Eat shit and die puzzlemaster flash.
>>750861743
>Zardoz
I don't remember him being a genius.
>>750861692
...no. lol
>>750861773
The Switch or something like that?
>>750861736
bingo
>>750859119
1 is Mr beans holiday
>>750861849
Uhh, close. Can you name some actors?
>>750861801
because he wasnt.
he was essentially a neanderthal who had guns and could fuck up the cuckboi smart people in the floating space pyramid
>>750861849
>>750861773
Quick Change. Bill Murray?
>>750861895
CORRECT!
>>750861919
Puzzlemaster a shit.
I guess this is going to be easy.
>Bunch of teens defeat an army that collapsed US army
A man watches his father die
Fights with his brother and sister
Is kidnapped by a crazed king and then beaten by an old friend
He escapes and saves the day with his brother and old friend but loses his home and likely his sister.
Ends up in a spaceship with one eye and a million refuges that he is responsible for.
>>750861965
lol
red dawn. you better mean the original not the garbo remake
>>750861760
Charlie Sheen: A boy's life.
>>750861474
does "i cant see one right now" describe a banana?
>>750862009
Badly.
>>750861983
Star Wars or Dune
>inna jungle
>surfing
>fat fuck cult leader
>boats
>>750862048
Apocalypse Now
>>750861994
there is no remake, we do not talk ab out it, it did not exist.
I knew this is going to be too easy
>>750862071
damn i made it to easy by putting surf in didnt i?
>>750862002
no. this takes place at christmas
>Long as fuck, boring as fuck, old as fuck (but not as old as citizen kane), for some reason a classic, made a song popular. Holy fuck, why did people like it? Also, they did not blow it up, so don't damn them.
>>750861959
>Quick Change. Bill Murray?
No.
>>750862048
Acropolus Now
>Is this the real world? Or is this fantasy?
>movie is unrelated to queen and of the sci-fi genre
>>750861785
>weebshit
1. Weebshit
2. Comedy movie from the 80s
3. Sci-Fi from 70 with goddamn, mutherfucking Sean Connery in a diaper.
4. Fucking Toy story.
Pretty diverse selection, if you ask me. Not to mention DBZ is a series that is known by many non-anime fans. So I would barely call that show weebshit. Most anime fans I know think DBZ is shit, and most DBZ fans I know don't watch much other anime.
You seem a bit sore.
>>750862083
I've never seen it and didn't realize there was surfing in it until just now.
I just saw "jungle" and "fat cult leader" and remembered a documentary about Marlon Brando where it said he refused to lose weight to play the role of a cult leader for that film.
>>750862123
Wayne's World
>>750862046
nope
>>750862149
>>750862123
Oh wait. I read it wrong. Total Recall
>>750862149
nope
>>750862123
Truman Show
>>750862123
Inception
>>750862144
dude, charlie dont surf bro! as well as 'i love the smell of napalm in the morning'
Retarded guy jumps off the roof and kills himself
>>750862089
oh, die hard
>>750862029
thats not what i asked, i dont think you know what describe means.
>>750862124
Nah, you seem a bit sore. After all, you spent like fifty posts losing your shit when people kept saying Shrek (despite going out of your way to make it seem like no. 3 was Shrek).
Anyway, you were leaving, weren't you? Adios.
>>750862207
It's not your fault.
>>750862095
any other hints? im stumped
>>750862173
yup
>>750862183
I guess this works too if you consider truman show a sci-fi
>>750862194
that fits too
>>750861919
Yes he was. He was he next level of evolution and learned an entire library in a few years. The last half hour everyone tells him how he is vastly mentally superior.
Watch it again.
>>750862230
yes i know...
its the fault of your parents most likely.
>>750862095
made it too easy at the end.
>>750862228
Lol that wasn't him, it was me.
>an aged James Bond sets out to stop people from drinking.
>>750862095
The Sound of Music
or
Singing in the Rain
>>750862206
what? are you retarded?
>>750862228
I'm not the shrek guy. And I'll leave when I feel like it.
We need tripcodes back...
>>750862200
the matrix. oh wait does he surviveth?
>>750862302
No, die hard takes place during Christmas.
>>750862156
Well, I've run out of movies that take place in space. (That I've heard of, anyway).
>>750862253
>The last half hour everyone tells him how he is vastly mentally superior.
I don't remember that at all.
>>750862255
it's not your fault
>>750862231
A song (not the famous one I mentioned before) is sort of referenced in a Borderlands 2 ad.
>>750862253
no. because you are wrong
he was only smart because they basically dumped all their knowledge into his brain via science at the end
>>750859119
4 = Her. With Joaquin Phoenix. Heartless because Scarlett ain't human
>>750862280
No.
>>750862257
Then give me your guess.
>>750862347
so ddo 10 million other movies
Sorry if you've seen this clue before, but I can't think of any new ones.
A fly in a typewriter causes the High Sparrow to go insane.
>a group of american doctors are taken against their will to treat soldiers in an Asian war zone
>a comedy
>>750862330
The retard dies. A bitch cries.
>>750862353
It's not a classic.
>>750862405
Yeah... Movie broke my fucking heart.
> drugs are bad m'kay
>>750862409
>Then give me your guess.
Planet of the Apes
>stolen car
>Sing the blues
>Opens with scene of genital mutilation
>Real life S&M porn actress plays the love interest
>Her mom gets BLACKED by her step dad
>A comedy
>>750862427
MASH
>>750862427
MASH
>>750862414
so you're saying im right? gg
>>750862466
Requiem for a Dream
or
Blow
or
Scarface
Probably the first
>>750862468
No.
>>750862477
well done boys.
>>750859004
I'm sorry to go off-topic, OP, but who the fuck is that and can I marry her please?
>>750862429
of mice and men
>Group of soldiers/warriors taken from their home
>Must team up to defeat a common enemy
>A doctor repeatedly breaks his oath
>>750862513
its an older film and loved by 420s
>>750859119
Is 7 'Pretty Woman'?
>>750862515
yeah okay kid
Oh no my house is gonna be destroyed, better get my towel.
>>750862515
casablanca?
>The guy sings into a can (but he won't allow you to hear it).
>>750862553
Who's the bitch that cries?
Not many left now:
>5
>Pre-teens steal a car, a nice man is framed for murder, the little girl did it.
>7
>A lonely whore reads too much Nietzsche fucks her way to the top, then throws away a hundred grand for a guy who treats her the same as all the others.
>8
>Bald guy's girlfriend gets him off his meds, nig dies in race car accident, midgets everywhere, bald guy looks at the sun.
>10
>A writer's lawyer rapes an artist. Get's away scott free.