What's the dumbest shit you did while horny, /b/?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
What's the dumbest shit you did while horny, /b/?
>>750713564
MODS MODS MODS
>>750713564
I raped my couch
Fucked a chick 20 yrs older than me
>>750713564
I have panties of literally all of my friends. I consider that dumb because i was almost caught several times. One of them caught me tho
>be home alone
>sister has used bathroom before she went out
>toilet is playing up
>hasn't flushed properly
>one of her turds in the bowl
>rubbed it all over my dick
>painted my nipples brown
>licked it
>scat tastes salty btw
>beat my dick like it owed me money
>came buckets
>felt guilty even as the jizz was erupting from my balls
>had a shower
>had another shower
>and another
>never did anything like that again
>>750713781
I assume she was underage considering you're posting it on this thread
>>750713564
i was so horny one day that i tried to warm up ham and fuck it. did not work at all
>>750713564
sniffed my mom's panties from the laundry hamper. She had only just gone to bed and taken them off. They were damp in the crotch.
I've also worn and pissed in her dirty panties before while jerking off.
Have pissed and jizzed on the floor at work when I've closed up. Left a stain on the carpet.
I've pissed and jizzed in my own mouth many times.
>>750714117
guess your mom's panties smelled like heaven. Did you lick them as well?
>>750713564
>be me
>looking after my neighbours cat
>start to stroke it
>get a semi
place the cat on my crotch (I was wearing pyjamas)
>get full on erection as I hear the cat pure as I stroke it even more
>pull my pants down and start rubbing the cat all over my erect cock
>tried to make it lick my dick but didn't
>I lasted 5 minutes and after it there was cat fur everywhere
>get home and think about what I just done
Tried fingering some girl while dancing in the middle of at least 50 people. Couldn't keep my hands away tbh
>>750713865
I also did some dumb shit like that and regret when i came. Once my bestfriend was changing her tampon (i knew bc she told me) and 5 minutes later i went to the bathroom and sucked the shit out of that tampon while masturbating. Then i looked myself in the mirror and i looked like the fucking joker with all my mouth red. Instant regret. I had to wash my face with soap because to the blood smell was notorious
One time I was so horny I left a guy fuck me in a bar's bathroom... I'm not gay or anything. I don't really know why did I do it.
Went out and bought a stroker.
Also fucked the couch and my mattress when i was a teenager.
>>750714225
I have done a couple of times.
got my wife pregnant
I put a plastic bag between the couch cushions and fucked it as hard as I could
>>750714246
Fuck.. I still cringe at this shit.
Fingered a half cast Abo chick at my year 10 formal.. on the dancefloor.
Had the PE teacher come up and tell me to stop.
As soon as I walked away another cunt got in there and resumed the process.
By the end of it, we were all outside having a smoke and feeling her up at the same time.
Good times, but super fucking cringeworthy.
She was a fat 4/10 Abo.
>>750714227
>>750714410
I'm so sorry
>>750714410
touché!
>>750713564
Constructed a gelatine pussy in a big glass cup, it felt Good first But I didnt let it cure enough, So the pig Bone, skin, gelatine started to "melt" kept going But I ended up with cum and gelatine juice from stomach to legs
>>750713781
did the same thing ... but she was a doll ... had the jaw of a sailor ... ex cheerleader
man ive had so many opportunities to hold on to good women at least get everything I could out of them ... and I just fing dont give 2 shits
cest la vie
photoshopped my sister's face into boy CP then beat my dick like it owed me money
>>750714073
Did you read? He said older not younger
Traded blowjobs with a friend when we were teens.
Also, I've cum in my mouth many times, and have requested snowballs while girls suck me. Always hate it afterwards.
fucked a chubby friend. not particularly great face but I had visions of an excellent body. saggy tits and barely no arse. would not recommend.
I guess she enjoyed it tho :[
I've sniffed and cum on so many dirty tampons. Roommates, girlfriends and strangers. I've done it in restaurant bathrooms where they're single stall unisex ones. I always check the sanitary napkin bins when I'm in there.
Usually blow the biggest loads doing that.
>>750714506
Also once on holiday with my aunt I found her panties, we where driving on the road, They in the front I was "asleep" So I jacked in her panties When I was 13
Jacked off in my pants during school.
A fat ugly chick
>>750714227
Dude wtf.
Pic most definitely related. Probably makes you hard though doesn't it? You sick bastard.
>>750713622
did this also when i was 15, it was a leather couch and it was gooood.. until afterwards when i had friction burn on my dick.
>>750714751
Also went for fat chicks just to get rid of sperm, dressed up in swsuits of everyone I knew to just Jack it
>>750713622
>>750713865
>>750714087
>>750714227
>>750714382
>>750714410
>>750714441
>>750714506
kek'd
>>750714805
well I have this porn video called Jungle Heat on my pc, its a 3d animated porno of a leopard girl fucking a human cock
>>750713564
Just did my dumbest, had unprotected sex with a very attractive masseuse. She was gorgeous, but not worth it
>>750713865
>shit tastes salty
No it doesn't. It tastes bitter, and a bit chalky.
https://www.xvideos.com/video28629193/teen_skinny_sissy_play_dirty_with_her_panty_in_public_toilet
>>750714990
go get those anti aids pills you can use the day after, clean yo dick
Bought a dildo and cock rings on amazon, then went out to a sex shop and bought another dildo
>>750713564
Rode my gay friends dick like I had ass cancer and the cure was in his sperm.
>>750714339
>Everyone is a little gay.
heres a fun one
>watching tv
>get super horny and strip completely naked
>get into bath and turn on shower
>lay on my back while jerking off
>start pissing in my mouth, still jerking it
>gets washed off by water but i keep some in my mouth
>cum in my mouth
>immediately regret all decisions
>spit everything out and wash my mouth with soap
never again.
Looking up details of some of the shit that's posted here.
"What does this [Made in Sibera] image mean...?"
Yeah, shit like that is "NOPE, MICROWAVE COMPUTER THEN CRUSH IT!!!"
I bought some condoms to jerk off with to prepare for sex later that day... I ended up running out of condoms and then had to buy more
>>750714339
>I let a dude fuck me in the ass
>I'm not gay though
>>750713784
What happened?
Jerk off while sniffing shrek theme underwear.
Not proud of it...
>>750715075
Yep, cleaning my dick. I'm not worried about HIV, this is a woman we're talking about. The chances of receiving HIV via vaginal sex are pretty low. I'm more worried about Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and Hepatitis, honestly
>>750715055
I'd like to do something similar for a serious master
>>750715279
Her mom was changing her nappy before nap time
>>750715273
Yeah he is gay
>>750715430
Lol umm no vaginal sex is 80% u get hiv bro. Who told you only anal sex gives you aids?
>>750713936
Moar?!?!?!?!
>>750715430
O shit anon thinks fucking bitches in the pussy won’t give you aids OMFG
>>750715575
>>750715640
No, I know it can, but the "top" partner has a lower chance than the receptive partner. The number of men who contract HIV per year in the US from vaginal sex is much lower than the risk of other infections, some of which are pretty high.
>>750715236
???
>>750714339
Guess what?
I send my mom a dickpic
>>750716535
Did you score?
i put a taco bell burrito in the microwave ate half and fucked it felt good. i would say messy pussy.
>>750716535
Did she send one back?
Used to jerk off in foreclosed houses when I was a property manager. Sometimes using panties they left or while sitting on the kitchen counter. Got caught once by a dude from the bank. He literally completely ignored me, thankfully didn't report me.
>>750713936
Good thing this isn't a you ylyl you lose thread! Cuz I woulda just lost!
>>750713564
is this a straight shota thread?
>>750715780
he saw something very, very illegal
>>750713865
you need to be locked up in a nut house
>>750714712
now that is some shit right there. what the fuck anon
Got married.
>>750714073
>math is hard
>logic is hard
i put my dick in a vacuum hose.
>>750713865
You retarted
>>750713564
fucked a 2/10 fatty and gave her my actual number.
>>750713622
I did this too. When I pulled out I had 2 M&Ms and 23 cents stick to my dick.
>>750713784
greentext?
Wore my mothers panties and came on my face
>>750714227
I found out the hard way that a cat's tongue is like sandpaper... Never let a cat give you head.
>>750714445
4/10 Abo is litteraly a man
>>750714703
chubby with no ass. Fucking blow chunks
>>750713564
Fapped into my own mouth cos I though it would be hot as fuck but as soon as I started swallowing the warm jizz shooting out of my dick I almost threw up and an heroed out of sheer self loathing. Never did it again.
>>750716997
>nice
>>750713564
I fucked my gf.
never again
I'm a monster
>>750717201
fucking kill yourself
>>750715198
My ex boyfriend would eat his own cum. Saved me the trouble of having to swallow.
>>750715273
but why, then?
>>750718044
You fucking faggot.
>>750716997
I used to jack off in new homes that were being built or just finished being built. Jacked it in most of my neighbor's houses and wiped my cum on their new carpets. Never caught though.
>>750713564
Hi. I am Louis CK and I have nothing to contribute to this thread.
>>750717258
Fuck off
>>750718628
that written statement was pretty dumb. shoulda kept your mouth shut like the rest of em, bud.
>>750718447
It's not gay if it's your own dick
>>750719035
>sucking dick
>not gay
>>750713614
It's just a midget sissy.
>>750713564
>What's the dumbest shit you did while horny, /b/?
Stalked a hot teacher
"Cybered" on AOL . . . which could've gotten the dreaded email to my mom that I was involved in inappropriate activities.
Used a teen emergency hotline for phone sex... I'd call in with a story that I was having an affair with my stepmother.
Store manager for att. Figure out glitch in cameras. They aren't recording
Move the two rear cameras up just in case.
Bring best friends wife in through back and fuck her raw on the uverse display couch.
Fill her with cum and let it drip on the couch.
Get dressed eat her ass a bit
Move cameras down leave.
Worked there for another 2 years and no one found out.
Still with att making 6 figs.
She still let's me fuck occasionally. Husband gets drunk and passes out after poker games and we fuck and she let's me fill any hole I want. Good times
In my old high school they made a bathroom for the retarded kid. Everyone knew it as 'kevin's bathroom". That was also the bathroom where all the girls went when they had their period. I used to sit out of the bathroom to see which girl go in and then masturbate to their dirty pads.
>>750713564
paid an african prostitute 5 Euros to suck my dick in a park.
>wore a condom
>couldn't get hard
>she was sucking anyway, bored
>kept asking me to hurry up
>i pretended to cum and she left
sometimes i wonder about myself.
>>750715575
>Lol umm no vaginal sex is 80% u get hiv bro. Who told you only anal sex gives you aids?
No. Read "The Myth of Heterosexual AIDS" by Michael Fumento.
In it he discusses the New York Health Dept method of in depth interviews and medical histories which showed VERY few heterosexual cases.
What happened was gay men got HIV and claimed only to have sex with women.
Per one health dept. worker, "They'd admit to having sex with a dog, but not another man."
Under pressure from gay lobbies, NY health dept. stopped the investigation into the origin of HIV infections and the incidence of heterosexual HIV suddenly went through the roof.
>>750714369
Keeek
>>750715774
>The number of men who contract HIV per year in the US from vaginal sex is much lower than the risk of other infections, some of which are pretty high.
It's super low. Gay men who bareback anal 100s of men a year go in for HIV tests and claim to have only had sex with women and it's counted as a heterosexual transmission.
If that were actually happening there would be an even higher proportion of heterosexual women who were infected by sex with men.
It's just not happening.
>>750713564
-jacked off in a pillow cover in a hotel room with my dad. 2 separate beds
-jacked off into coworkers lotion bottle
-chatted and traded pics with a girl on sc. ended up jacking off for her
-stole neighbors panties
-shot upskirt video on multiple occasions
>this fucking threas
>>750714613
That's the joke
>>750713564
I have raped my drunk Sisters, i'm so happy they never found out
I’ve worn my mom and sisters panties when I was a teenager
>>750713564
your mom
tried to cum in my mouth and came in my fucking eye effectively getting some sort of pink eye.
god dammit i hate myself sometimes
I dipped my dick in milk and had my cat lick it off. Didn’t feel good. Cat wasn’t into it
>>750720369
story time?
I'd post the greentext but im too lazy. Basically, i saw a girl sleeping in her car in my neighbourhood with her feet hanging out of her window. I sucked her toes for like 10 seconds while touching her pussy. Bitch started screaming and i i hide behind some trees in the park for like 1 hour because like 3 police patrols were searching for me. 1 week later all my neighbours instaled cameras in the streets kek. I was 16 or 17 i think. Also, later i found out shes cousin of one of my friends. I follow her on insta
>>750713564
Fell in love
>>750720636
Lololll
let my friend's dad put it in my butt and cum in me when i was a teenager
he was hot so i didn't really care
>>750719878
That's just nasty, man.
I fucked a cereal box and a loaf of bread
>>750713622
It's not rape if you're in love.
>>750713564
I'm in something right now potentially...I'll copy paste from another thread I posted on...
So 22 yo virgin here.
>Just call me Jay-chan
Just found a Christmas Cake that wants fug and take my virginity. She's trustworthy and everything and I'll only be in the same place for a handful of months. This particular cake is in her early 40's. I'm posting this because I want to hear your thoughts because after I was done messaging her, I started feeling conflicted whether I should just lose my v-card
>or hold it until I am granted powers of the fabled Wizard!
But in all actuality, what do you guys think? Is it a good idea to lose it, or is it overrated?
She said she'll let me do whatever I want.
>>750713781
See
>>750721048
Was it a bad idea?
>>750717525
doofy?
When I was at uni and my housemates would go back home all the time, I used to go into this cute Welsh chicks room who I was trying to Fuck for 3 years but she was frigid as Fuck, anyway used to grab her dirty panties and sniff them whilst jacking off, shit got me diamonds. I've also spunked in my eye before almost blinded myself it was so powerful.
>>750713564
had sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation
>>750721463
you sick disgusting monster
>>750715640
*if* she has aids, and *if* her viral load is high enough to infect, insertive vaginal sex has a transmission rate of 1 per 110,000 exposures.
>>750713865
Nasty
>>750713564
minority, in a minority, sucking another minority
yo dawg
>>750714227
I get hard when I play with cats and they show me affection because nobody shows me affection like that
>>750720631
Not much of a story, whenever one of my sisters is passed out drunk (i'm great at making cocktails) i use them for my pleasure. Most of the time Just touching, but i have put my Dick Inside them a few Times, im just to afraid to really fuck them hard. But the fear is very exciting.
>>750717522
>Jokes are hard
Fap on open webcam.
>>750714445
4/10 is pretty good for abbo
logged into my moms email account and fapped to pictures she sent guys and her conversations about sex
>>750720636
Post her pic
>>750714339
Alex Jones....
>>750713614
fuck off, man. Gnomes can get a nut if that want too.
I fucked a landwhale, i mean a LANDWHALE 3 years ago in the girls bathroom in some shitty bar in the next city. Till this day all my friends still make jokes about it.
>>750713865
Jesus fucking christ
Jerked off on I-95 going 100mph in the carpool lane at 2pm.
>be me, 14
>local channel music shows the texts that people sends
>'foreign girl trying to make friends.. text me at 6739...
>me and friends
>it was actually a girl, not a 55yo dude
>meet
>fuck her in the woods 1 by 1
>first time, came inside her
>OMG, you came inside me. What should i do?
>ehhhrrr.. pee? So the cum would get out
>bitch actually did it
>mfw 0 knowledge about female anatomy
>she was 17 and also didnt knew shit about it
>next day we call her and tell her: "haha fuck off bitch" and another racial slurs
She getted preg that day but she was way too embarrased to say something
>mfw im 24 and my mixed bastard child is 10
>>750723520
>She getted preg
If you ever find a time machine, go back to your past self and tell him to stay in school.
>>750722117
.......Not that guy but more pics?
>>750713865
>>750714227
what the fuck anon
>>750720005
I've read the chances... its like 1 out of 10000 vs 13 out of 100
You can get AIDS from straight sex, but it is not likely.
>>750723648
Yeah, i'm too drunk to english.
>>750721048
do it. do everything to her, let her be your guide
>>750723655
This is my youngest sister
>>750722117
Mods!
>>750723655
And my older
>>750724030
Since when is rape a bannable offence
>>750713564
Last week i was drunk as fuck and i started messaging via instagram all the girls i fucked when i was a teen. Something like: remember that fuck? We should do it again ay. Most of her responses were like: fuck off im married... my bf gonna kick your ass... that was 10 years ago dude... we're not kids anymore asshole. And then they proceed to block me lol
>>750724077
Since a while
>>750713564
-tried to fuck a cow
-tried to get my dick sucked by a cow
-fapped to my sis and her bf having sex
-fapped to my friend's mom's used bra
-fapped after my friend Chad told me about a bj some slutty chick gave him in a bar's toilet
-fapped on the dentist's chair while waiting
-fapped in class (I was 12 at that time)
>>750723520
Hot
>>750713564
I fapped with toothpaste
https://xhamster.com/videos/very-hot-prostate-milking-3416013
>>750721048
I used to bull for an older married couple. She was about a 7/10, great body, just a bit old for my tastes generally speaking.
First time I'd dp'd a chick, shit was cash.
Ultimately got bored of the whole thing. Would do again with new couple though
>>750724013
If you look like her then you're one ugly motherfucker. But ayyy... i'm into 3/10's.
>>750713564
I window peeped on my oneitis while she took a piss. She saw me.
>>750717522
>But my dick was harder
>>750723909
I asked this in another thread
I'm afraid if it's not that great and then I'm just disappointed? Should I use a condom for a 40yo, I don't know if my seed is strong...but I want the first time to be without a condom. Also how hard is sex? I heard it's more tiring than it looks. Is just gapping really better?
>Is she at all appealing?
I set the bar real low in order to catch one that doesn't get a lot of traffic/no traffic that's hungry for dick and attention. So she's a bbw with an acceptable face. But I wouldn't want people to know due to the age difference of 20 years.
When i was 14 i masturbated in a public bus in the last seat. I wasnt caught but shit man
Jerked off to team America sex scene when I was 10 was not my proudest fap
>>750724318
>>750723909
I meant fapping instead of gapping
>>750724013
>>750724041
Would smash them both like a nuclear bomb. Too bad you can't fuck 'm for real, would be hot.
Stupidest thing I did was answering an ad on FetLife from an Indonesian girl and her sister that were visiting my country and wanted to get dominated by a guy. They said they were 18 and 19, I was foolish enough not to ask for ID even though they looked hella young. Turns out they weren't legal age, at all, and I only found out after a long night of fun. Reason they were able to have the room by themselves at all is rich as fuck parents that stayed on a different floor, so it could've ended badly for me if they decided to check up on their girls. The girls apologized, but whatever, truth be told I'm into younger girls so it only made for a nicer goodbye-fuck.
Agreed to pay $1000 to have sex with an 11 year old. Show up, cops everywhere. Do time. Not fun.
>>750724157
Shit man. Im currently doing that shit. Since i moved to the other site of the country i dont give a shit about my old life. So i ask all the bitches i knew for nudes. Profit: 6%
>>750724200
I dont believe you
>>750724013
Lucky bastard I'd be hittin that daily if it were my sister
>>750724013
A nose job and she would be hot, would still do her tho.
A 15yo wants to have sex with me. Shes turning 16 in January. I told her to please to January so i dont get in any trouble (16 is legal here). But im afraid that she will probably gonna lose interest but hell no! Im not going to prison.
came in my own mouth
instantly regreted it
>Met chick who was in HS while in early 20’s
>She was lonely and had some issues, got attached quick
>Decent looking (6/10) and big D tits
>Had gf at time, addicted to other chicks
>At house party and drunk af
>gf couldn’t go, want some bad
>Texting HS girl, she’s @ home with her mom upstairs
>Doesn’t want to risk me sneaking over, will wake up mom who is nuts about her dating, esp older guys
>I can barely see @ this point
>Finally she relents
>I sneak out of party, get behind wheel piss drunk
>Drive 40 minutes on highways to reach her house, continuing to text her while I do
>Miracle I didn’t hurt myself or someone
>Sneak in her downstairs, don’t even bother to greet her or cuddle
>Do everything but sex, she’s afraid of noise, cum buckets from head in her mouth
>Drive home around 3:30 AM still drunk
>Freezing out, have to keep windows rolled down to stay awake
>Finally make it home w/o hurting anyone thankfully
>superluckyman.jpg
>>750713564
was in a car with a girl i met on cl and claimed was 18. but as we're driving to my place she told me she was actually 17. then when we get to the bedroom she tells me she's fucking 16, but will be 17 next month. ...
>>750720505
>Cat wasn’t into it
it might have to do with it, that the cat just wanted the milk, not the dick
I masturbated with raw egg, and developed some kind of fucked up problem with my prostate that made my dick go numb. It's been numb about 4 years now and my prostate feels uncomfortable frequently.
put a sharpie in my dick, about 4/3 of it
>>750724758
you're paranoid. Police aren't like all around watching in the windows bro. Pretty sure you'd be safe as long as she's on the pill. be sure 100% she is taking that shit before you fuck her. and don't wait, she'll lose interest.
Jacked off in a car in the middle of Fort Knox, surrounded by lots of on-base military people.
>>750724954
if some 15 year old girl wanted to right now I'd do it, if she's on the pill and really ready to go, I mean I woudln't force anyone to do anything.
>>750724013
guy who asked for more pics here
your younger sister a cute
thanks anon
now stop diddling them and be a better brother
>>750713865
thanks anon. now i feel normal that i like smelling feet.
>>750713564
I used to paint warhammer models when I was younger, while watching some trap hentai I saw the "girl" had a silver dick plug in "her" dick and I wondered how that felt, so I used the precum to lube a thin paintbrush up and shoved it down my cock, it stung like a mother fucker and I probably only made it 0.5 inches down
Here's one
>be 17 and virgin
>look up homemade sex toys
>see creation where you fill 4 water balloons with hot water
>put them 2x2 to make a "pocket pussy"
>go to local grocery store
>spend 10 minutes trying to not look suspicious
>trying to steal fucking water balloons
>emerge successful, go home to try out my findings
long story short, it doesnt work
>>750724797
Same, man. I didnt even make it to came in my mouth but i gave myself a nice facial. Instant regret.
>>750724890
When i was 16 i did that for 4chan. I'm 22 now.
>>750725053
I know, but it is so much fun, and they are so fucking thight.
Plus its only for a few more years then everyones going to be living seperate, so in going to take it while i can
>>750724318
>how hard is sex?
as hard as you want it to be. If she's bbw then she's probably not going to be all that athletic either. I'd say, like most things you'll pick it up as you go along.
>is fapping better?
Good question. Mechanically, not greatly different.
Emotionally, sex with others is generally better.
>I set the bar real low
this bit worries me anon. She, in turn, has probably set her bar even lower if you're the gallant knight in this situation. Def wear condoms. Check her for sores around her mouth and vag and avoid sex if you see any. Make some lame excuse like you have upset guts or something.
I do however predict awesome bj potential because bbw. It's pretty much their best chance to attract you long term
>>750725285
I like the way you think anon
>>750724954
>>750725052
The problem, my friends is that im 22. She would probably tell her friends about it and everyone will know. We live in a pretty small town. So probably some sjw would came out talking shit about me and the throubles would come to me. At least if she was 16 they can talk shit about me but hey, is legal. Remember, shes 15. Shes pretty stupid.
Holy shit you guys are weird. We'll when I was around 17 I stayed at my friends place a lot. Usually overnight. Hehe had a small dog. While friend slept next to me I whipped my dick out. Had idea to put water on my dick and let dog lick it up. Hldamn did it feel good. Rock hard when nibbled on for skin. After I came, doggo licked it up licked it up like a hungry slut. Felt guilty but did it like 5 times.
>>750724318
I always fuck without a condom
I always make sure the chick has no STDS and is on the pill
With a condom is pretty plain
without is better
sex is pretty physically taxing, yes, but it depends on your physical abilities too and the more you do it the easier it gets.
fapping is better than sex in every way.
it's safe, no chance of STD, no pregnancy, the sensation is exactly what you want and how, no emotional ties. Nothing beats fapping.
fucking someone who is ugly will make you last longer but won't really be worth it, better to have sex with someone you are attracted to.
>>750726049
exactly, let it go for now.
>>750713564
Let some random dude sit on my cock with no condom while I was blowing a cop in a bathroom stall
Steal
>>750726049
if you don't trust her, why are you even considering a relationship with her?
>>750726218
When i take a shit i spread my legs and let my doggo clean it for me.
>>750724268
>oneitis
wat
>>750726717
post vid
Well, one night when I was younger, like 12 or 13 and my dad was away for business, I drugged my mom. That night I had one of the best nights of my life, I played and sucked on my mom tits for a good long while, before I took off all of her clothes and started to touch her pussy and eat it out. My penis got hard, so I started playing with her tits with my dick. After another little bit, I wanted to see what it felt like in her pussy, so I slipped it in, and fucked her for a while. I had to come after about 15 minutes because it was my first sexual experience. I came on my hand, but fucked her until I climaxed. The rest of the night, I just made out with her while she was completely knocked out. I french kissed her, and just licked every last bit of her. So basically I just kissed her and sucked on her tits for the rest of the night. I still do this sometimes while my dad is away.
>>750726887
post pic of mum
>>750726439
>relationship
Nigga, i just want to smash that young pussy. I forget to say: shes a 10/10 for her age. Im sure half of the dudes in that highschool have masturbated for her. Im sure shes interested in me because 'oh an older guy' also im not ugly... i think.
>>750727035
>>750726887
also how old are you now?
Jerked off sniffing shoes from multiple girls. One was a friend, she was showering at home, couldn't resist, had to jerk off smelling her sneakers. One time, I was homesitting for family friends, sniffed and licked the inside of the woman's wedges shoes while jerking
>>750714939
i know this one. it's good though
>>750727057
what the fuck is wrong with you? I thought you were like, a real man, not a pussy. You have some serious issues dude, just walk away from her then, she's too good for you. leave her be. If you want to redeem any integrity or honor, just let her go. I thought you really cared about this girl.
>>750726887
this is obviously made the fuck up.
You can tell you don't even know what you're talking about.
especially
>I came on my hand, but fucked her until I climaxed
nigga what
>>750713564
Done a few dumb things. Used to go on cam with old men and masturbate when I was like 14. And when I was 16, I started getting my mom's dirty panties and jack off with/sniff them.
>>750715273
>>750717626
there are pills for that shit anon, get your dick checked
>>750727309
Oh, jerked it in a Hospital bathroom once too. And outside a clinic while I was waiting in the car.
>>750714689
>have requested snowballs while girls suck me
Hot, how did they respond?
>>750723909
>>750724257
>>750725787
>>750726278
So this is her. Should I smash?
>>750725787
I don't think I set it that low though.
>be 18
>at friends house in the basement where girl and guy that have a thing for each other are sleeping on the same couch as I am
>I’m right next to girl as guy has been asleep for hours as we talk about stupid shit
>we start flirting
>we get closer to each other and tensions rise
>guy “wakes up” in a rage yelling about how she’s two-faced and how he wants to walk home
>his house is miles away
>no one wants to drive him home
>girl goes upstairs to try and calm him down
>he leaves
>girl comes back downstairs, we make out and she gives me head
>isthisright.jpg
>guy comes back and is cool with everything that happened
>still hangout
>occasionally would get head from the same girl while he’s around
Not too stupid, but dude still hasn’t realized that the girl is a complete whore. Couple sucks and a fuck and I was outtie.
>>750723909
>>750724257
>>750725787
>>750726278
Here's her pussy. Should I be worried?
>>750724834
... and when you came she told you she was 15!
>ay caramba
>>750726887
Kek
>>750728265
You should grow a pair, ram her and end your life after
>>750714445
>group fingering of a fat abo chick
Threads' over guys
>>750728469
Thank you for your support.
>>750714445
how do people do this shit in school lmao
maybe I'm just a fucking nerd
>>750714227
Ive done similar stuff except with a dog..
>>750715098
...and then caught actual ass cancer.
>>750728627
Any time anon, before your suicide of course
>>750726887
I hope shit like this isn't real. Why do so many of the sick fucks have sexual thoughts about your mother?
Are you seriously that deprived of female attention that you start considering fucking the person that gave birth to you.
>>750713865
no one will top this insanity
>>750715236
Goats are like mushrooms.
If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters.
>>750715489
It is as if you don't understand greentext responses to things...
>>750728352
jokes aside, i was having fucking anxiety attacks thinking i was going to jail. in 3 more years the statute of limitations will kick in. can't fucking wait for that to happen.
>>750729034
agreed
>>750729183
>>750728054
It's like this, I wouldn't tell anyone about her because she's fat, not because she's older. I don't into fatties so while I would not it's probably fine for you to accept.
At moment I'm shagging a girl but not telling anyone about it. It's complicated but in a nutshell I'm not that into her, the sex is a bit boring, she's close by, she doesn't seem to mind that I keep some distance, always up for a fuck though.
>>750728265
looks clean enough anon.
>>750714319
I remember hearing this exact same story before. Is this the first time you’ve shared this experience with us?
>>750718391
I was going to an hero tomorrow, but now that you've asked me to, I will live on.
go through my girlfriends computer when she was sleeping looking at her old conversations with ex's and random one night stands. and see how much of a slut she was and it turns me on so much. After I cum I feel so bad.
>>750728000
One said "that's kinda kinky" and went back to sucking. I came. She delivered, by just letting it fall into my mouth (was laying on my back) without even kissing. Was gross.
>>750715198
how the fuck can you piss and jack off at the same time, are you that fucking retarded?
I've shared pics of my exes and my GF and as I get hornier, I get more daring.
I posted her name in a thread.
Then I posted her nudes with face in a local state thread.
Then I posted name and nudes in state thread.
She got recognized a few times and I felt like shit but came so hard.
>>750714445
I would rather fuck a man than fingerblast an abo! The fuck's wrong with you mate!?
>>750728857
youre fucking stupid. enjoy the vagina cancer. they piss on ya and have no g spots
>>750729307
Thanks man
>>750723909
>>750724257
>>750725787
>>750726278
Thanks for the advice guys!
>>750722994
Oh fuck, read that in his voice lol
>>750713564
>/B/ me
>See 'Sounding' thread.
>Got curious.
>Tried it.
>Really fucking aroused.
>Not sure why though.
>Its hot as fuck so I continued.
BucketsAboutToBeSplit.jpg
>Get a bit overzealous.
>Poke the inside of my urethra with the pen I was using as a 'sound'
>Sharp pain for a split second.
>Little bit of red'ish pre-cum.
>Lose my shit, go into panic attack.
InstantPeanutPenis.rar
>I was nearly fully inside myself.
>Convince myself I'd ruptured my urethra.
>Gained some self control, swallowed my pride & went to hospital.
>Thank God for the NHS.
>Had to show my shriveled dick to triage nurse.
>She laughed.
>Had to show my shriveled dick to the doctor.
>He said its fine.
>Probably shriveled since I was stupidly anxious/nervous.
"Be careful next time, bud."
>Told me he'll let my G.P know why I was at hospital that day.
>Mfw I still get aroused by 'sounding'.
>>750724030
Stories here artistic fiction only a fool your a faget.
