ITT: We describe movies badly and others guess what they are.
Volume II
>>750641459
"Lord of the Rings is about elves and bad guys."
Guess.
>>750641459
>Bitch finds dino bones
>Dude falls in love with dino bitch
>Go down on dino bones with bro
>Go fight Dinos
>go home after with bitch
>>750641544
Clerk's 2
>>750641637
Naw, it was the first one.
But close enough. Your turn.
Gonna copy/paste a few unsolved mysteries from last thread.
Movie 1
>>Be cute shota walking home from school
>>Pedobear in human form appears, kidnaps shota
>>Shota gets butt fucked for years
>>Shota grows up to become alcoholic; dies
>>Based on a true story
More hints
>Takes place in America
>Movie made in 80s
>Shota named Steven, born in 1965
>Kid died shortly after the movie came out
Movie 2
>>A kike beats up a white kid
>>Sex and the City before Sex and the City
>>Is my cunt here?
More hints
>Takes place in high school
>Movie set in Florida
>One kid has big dick, other has small
>Hooker and nigger involved in practical joke
Movie 3
>Have giant cock
>Literally skullfuck guy to death with it
>Everyone dies
>Then more fucking
Movie 4
>American who is supposed to be British
>Brit who is supposed to be American
>Running around in a jungle
>Asians with guns
Movie 5
>Frog and Tonto know kung fu
>Fido wants snacks
>Incest and bondage for good measure
>summer Resort
>50's Chevrolet
>watermelon
>Kid wrecks his car
>Travels to the past
>Comes back, car is truck now
>>750641712
Dirty Dancing
>>750641710
I got Movie one before the update it's a movie called my name is Steven. I remember watching it as a kid it was a sad movie.
>>750641710
Movie 3 is A Serbian Film
>>750641833
Correct! I thought that was too obscure a choice but here you are proving me wrong. And yes, it was sad. Even sadder since it was true and the kid died.
>>750641710
Is movie number 2 Fast Times at Ridgemont High
3 a Serbian film
>>750641931
Yes!
>>750641710
Movie 4 tropic thunder?
>>750641779
Correct
>>750641710
Movie 2 is Porky's. And it's not a big dick, it's a deformed dick.
Reposting another two unsolved mysteries. Will give more hints if they're needed but the thread was dying as these were posted, so I bet people ITT get them.
Movie 6
>Niggers take over an entire planet
>That planet is Earth
Movie 7
>A man makes his way to Chicago
>Later, he carries a suitcase
>>750642008
No to 2.
Yes to 3.
>>750642131
Yes. And she says "He's deformed!" to mark her surprise at how fucking ridiculously hung he is. That's why he's called Meat.
>>750642063
No.
>>750641770
Back to the Future
>>750641988
Before I saw the update I wasn't going to waste my time even answering no way in hell someone else had actually seen that movie I thought but after I saw the update I decided to answer
>>750642257
Movie 6 Planet of the Apes
>>750642369
You shouldn't insult Apes such as gorillas and chimpanzees
Movie 6 planet of the apes
>>750641459
>Dinner with gf's parents
>Mom go "gf pergant", kisses me
>kid's a freak
>fuck hot neighbour
>head now part of pencil
>>750642482
You are, of course, right. My apologies to our Noble Cousins.
>>750642490
>>750642369
Yes!
>>750642311
I'm an oldfag and I suspect you are as well. I was here for the original "We describe movies badly threads." The first one I participated in was in fall of 2008 and I suspect they were around even longer than that. Back in the day, we used to use movies even more obscure than I Know My First Name Is Steven, if you can believe it. And people would get it right away! Like, in three posts. This generation of anons is kinda weak at this stuff. People tend to use the same three movies over and over again and then they're surprised when people figure out it's Fight Club, The Shawshank Redemption or The Big Lebowski. In summary, they need to lurk moar.
I used this one the other night but it was around 2AM and most people had left by then. Don't spoilt it if you only know it from that thread, please.
>A shadowy overlord departs
>His servants behave erratically in his absence
>A depraved psychopath tortures people to death, then dismembers and desecrates their corpses as he stuffs his obese face with marshmallows
>A Machine God hovers ominously overhead, reveling in its obscene power. Innocents are crushed to death in a kafkaesque nightmarescape rivaling scenes of genocide from the Old Testament
>>750642504
I got this one before but I'll let someone else get it this time.
>>750641459
>ayy lmao
>Young faggots interpret Freddie Mercury song under moonlight
>Also, telecommunications
>>750642668
this
>Blonde milf has big tits
>There's a plot?
>Something happens?
>More tits
>Movie ends
>Guy in a cave
>Steals bomb
>Bomb go off
>a hero an hero
>not really, went on holiday
>>750643270
American Pie
>>750641613
Jerassic park
>>750643430
That definitely also works but it's not the movie I'm thinking of.
The big titted blonde is the star of my movie and it was made before she was thought of as a milf.
>>750641710
Movie 4
>American who is supposed to be British
>Brit who is supposed to be American
>Running around in a jungle
>Asians with guns
Sounds like Tropic Thunder.
>>750643270
>movie ends
well, that narrows it down
A guy is good with money so he helps get a library built for his community. Then retires to the beach with his black friend.
>>750642504
Gj almost didn't get it. Eraserhead!
Lynch fan here. Lost highway is my favorite movie/film.
>>750643393
Dark Knight Rises
>>750644096
Well we know it's not the never ending story now.
>>750642932
Ghostbusters
Hell mode: activated
>Protagonist is a green ogre called shrek
>Theres a donkey
>A princess who ultimately becomes an ogre too
>A dragon and a mirro
>>750644160
The Shawshank Redemption
>>750641459
Administrative error made him a terrorist, now he's insane
Good luck with this one!
>>750644347
Reservoir Dogs
>>750644347
>mirro
I thought I had it but NVM
>>750644380
Office Space
>>750644347
Donkey get out of my swamp.
>Bad MF nigger pimp
>Fights whitey
>Cleans up streets
>Best friend dies
>Gets revenge
>>750644380
District 9
>>750644347
LOTR
>>750644380
Brazil
>>750644316
If you said Ghostbusters II, that would actually kinda fit.
But no. I'm thinking of a very different movie from the same decade.
>>750644501
That was gonna be my second guess after Office Space.
We're probably both wrong, obv. But still.
>>750644684
I've never even seen Brazil but I read about it and it sounded close enough.
>I was treated poorly way back in the past, so I'm angry.
>I'm going to kill all these stupid college kids
>Maybe I'll bang the ditzy one first before I kill her
>Wear her dad's face as a mask
>>750644380
The Barack Obama chronicles
>>750643593
Nope keep guessing
>>750644075
I already guessed that and was wrong
>>750645040
Yeah yeah. Cut me some slack, jack! I hadn't seen your reply.
>>750644951
I really want to know what this one is
I'll guess Silence of the Lambs.
>>750644075
>Sounds like Tropic Thunder.
No.
Perhaps it is time for some hints.
>>750641710
Movie 4
>>American who is supposed to be British
>>Brit who is supposed to be American
>>Running around in a jungle
>>Asians with guns
Maybe I fucked up by saying the American and Brit are supposed to be each others' nationality. That's an allusion to the book the film was based on, which was, like the film, much darker than Tropic Thunder.
Hint: Stars actor and actress who would both go on to win Oscars for separate films years later. It was also directed by a man who would later win an Oscar for best director. It is hands down one of the worst films any of the three ever worked on.
>>750644835
>I've never even seen Brazil but I read about it and it sounded close enough.
Same. I like the director, though. He's the guy who directed 12 Monkeys.
>>750644448
Sweet Sweetback's Badass Song
>Boy meets girl
>Girl loses boy
>Boy finds girl
>"What about the ROUSes?"
>>750645286
>12 Monkeys
The movie is called "12 years a slave" anon, and they weren't monkeys, just black.
>>750645220
Predator
>>750644501
Ding ding ding we have a weiner!
It is 40 minutes to midnight what am I?
>>750645517
The Princess Bride
>Brand new spaceship on maiden voyage, full to capacity with people.
>Spaceship Captain has hot wife on home planet.
>New guy fucks up spaceship, they miss rendezvous.
>Oxygen running low, everyone on board close to death.
>Hot wife on home planet in tears.
>Crew overcome personal differences to work together and save the ship.
>>750645220
OK, #4 is Apocalypse Now.
>>750645528
Dude, how could you? Predator was a fucking awesome movie!
>>750645586
Hell yeah and I haven't even seen the movie.
>>750645525
Kek! Well played.
>>750645682
Yes!
>>750645399
Nope.
>>750645666
Bored and watching the clock
>>750644501
Yeah you got it, let's try another tough one:
A Jew saves Hitler from Germans.
>>750645694
Apollo 13
>>750645722
No but on the right track. It influenced my bad movie and the author of the novel it was based on, which was pretty good. On a side note, I can't believe it took this long for someone to venture that as a guess. So many underage fags on /b/, it seems.
>>750645857
That one Tom Cruise movie? Was it Valkyrie?
>>750645694
Pandorum
>>750645735
Just sounds like predator is all
>>750645749
How the fuck?
>>750645868
yep. Nice
>>750645940
Nope
>>750645970
I haven't seen it either and that was my second guess, after Office Space. I just remember hearing about it and thinking it sounded cool.
6 men, a woman who might as well be a man and a nigger
>>750646051
Well, that DOES sound like Predator.
>>750646051
Ok, NOW it's Predator!
>>750645666
Before Midnight
>>750646135
>>750646153
Wrong. Here's a hint: they really hate niggers and bounty hunters
>>750646051
That porno where obama and his top brass gang rape caitlyn jenner
>>750646051
No, wait. It's a Conan flick.
Grace Jones may as well be a man.
And there's Wilt Chamberland.
>>750645970
Because I check out a lot of movies on IMDb to see what I want to watch and you pretty much described it the same way imdb did.
>>750646217
Hateful 8. Boom.
>>750646217
Still going with predator
>>750646273
You got it, gay boi
>A smiling man loves children
>Dresses colorfully
>Tells jokes
>Eat your happy meal or he'll fucking kill you
woah wait go back. pause that. enhance. enhance. enhance. oh my god...nice.
>>750644951
>>I was treated poorly way back in the past, so I'm angry.
>>I'm going to kill all these stupid college kids
>>Maybe I'll bang the ditzy one first before I kill her
>>Wear her dad's face as a mask
Hint: I'm a turkey
>>750646153
>Ok, NOW it's Predator!
>>750646135
>Well, that DOES sound like Predator.
Dat hivemind.
>>750646256
Well then try this one on for size
>>750645857
>>750646327
Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory
>>750646209
No. This is something only an older person will get.
>>750646342
Blade runner
>>750644448
>Bad MF nigger pimp
>Fights whitey
>Cleans up streets
>Best friend dies
>Gets revenge
Hint: Once you pop the top, the panties drop.
Hint: Woooooooooooooo!
>>750646501
Boss Nigger
>>750646396
Torn between texas chainsaw massacre, and face/off, but doubt it's either
>>750646396
Chicken run
>>750646485
nope
>>750646327
Kevin Spacey
a man does a thing in a place
robot thing in outerspace with fat people
>>750646602
the martian
>>750646548
Nope.
>>750646550
No sir.
>>750646506
Nope
>A man walks into town with his cock in his hand
>What he does with it is illegal in 49 states
>>750646579
Well, that also works. Works for this one too.
>>750646564
Not Chicken Run. Not animated even.
>>750646727
Louis the di CK.
>>750646396
A literal turkey?
What decade was this film made in?
>>750646730
Not an animated killer turkey?
>>750646636
Wall-e
>>750646847
Yes. An actual fucking turkey. Made in the last 10 years.
>>750646827
Those sluts wanted the D.
>>750646904
Not animated.
Hint: Gobble gobble, motherfucker!
Here's another tough one for you guys
Troubled psychic raped by dad and his scary friend
Here's an easy one.
>12 men in a room.
>>750646971
I agree NY Times pisses me off how they'll convince the sheep any thing a guy does is wrong.
>Happiness is childhood.
>>750647141
12 angry men
>>750647103
Friday the 13th Part 7 but he wasn't her dad.
>>750646999
thankskilling
>Depressed, unmotivated NEET has alcoholic friend
>Meets girl
>Alcoholic friend's girlfriend wants to fuck NEET
>NEET later attempts suicide
>Fails
>Movie ends
>>750641770
The Heavenly Kid
>>750647215
That's probably why it's wrong
>>750647237
Finally somebody got it. Thankskilling!
>>750647110
Yes! I thought it was so obvious. Surprised it took this long but good job.
>>750646999
Fucking Gigli?
Angry bald man goes away for a long time. Comes back but then goes away away again. Still away. Paints.
>>750647212
Yes can you guess the other one?
>>750647294
Fair enough but I had to give it a try.
>>750647363
No. See above where otherfag got it right. Thankskilling.
>>750647103
More hints?
>>750641459
Black woman trying to raise her kids gets killed by a white woman who adopted a girl that was orphaned by the black woman.
>WW2 some Brits have to get led by some American
>Sergeant Britbong watches his best friends and squad mates die.
>Becomes friends with Captain Anericunt
>Almost fucks 9/10 French slut (Americunt wingmans)
>Nazis cockblock
>Heroes leave next day and Sergeant Britbong gets fucken merked by Nazis and Americunt is made a hero
>also britbong major is a fucking Nazi and almost foils the entire operation
Lot of detail because I think the movie is a little obscure because shit cinematography and never heard of it.
>>750647518
Is this a question?
You need to greentext it.
>>750646501
>>>750644448 (You)
>>Bad MF nigger pimp
>>Fights whitey
>>Cleans up streets
>>Best friend dies
>>Gets revenge
>Hint: Once you pop the top, the panties drop.
>Hint: Woooooooooooooo!
You fags still can't get this one?
Fine, I'll help some more.
>Code Kansas
>Creamed Corn
>Kotex
>Tastee Freeze
>Chocolate Giddyup
Gonna go hard mode on you anons.
>Be me, depressed Japanese man
>Meet qt 3.14 thai girl
>Wash her dishes
>The lizard is lonely when he realizes he's alone
>>750647518
Kill Bill
>>750644075
ia that with Jackie Chan and the guy with big nose? (Owen Wilson i think its his name)
A shithead meets a bunch of boogers in space.
Saves family
amusement park rides
>>750647509
His scary friend wears her dad's face
>>750647726
That's so Raven
>>750641459
>Hunter finds money in desert
>gets hunted by guy with silly hairdo
>>750647627
Twin Peaks
>>750647684
No. It's got Robert Downey Jr, Ben Stiller, and Jack Black for starters.
some dickhead gets really strong and kidnaps 3 girls
>>750641459
Over rated shit movie.
Fucking piss synth music throughout.
80’s.
Not Star Wars
>>750647854
Not even fucking close.
>>750647840
Burn After Reading too fucking easy loser
>>750647921
Split
>>750647141
> 3 criminals commit big heist among other crimes
> they fuck up
> one dies
> one ends up in jail
> last one in witness protection
>>750647943
Well that narrows it down to about a million movies, nice job fag
>>750647921
Split?
>>750647963
Yeah I know I've probably never seen the movie you're talking about but Twin Peaks hass cream corn so I gave it a try.
>Some guy stabs a bitch to death
>He gets arrested
>Other people get stabbed
>Woops.jpg
>He was innocent
>Annoying teenage faggots disguise selves as famous painting
>>750647943
Labyrinth
>>750648051
GTA 5
>>750647627
SHAFT
>>750641459
>lady lives in a shed with her son for years
>son helps her get out of shed
Rockstar with big package kidnaps baby bro. Sister gets him back. Stoners rejoice.
>>750648065
Sci fi psychological analysing dreams.
Flying cars
>>750648207
fuck I know the movie and I can't remember the name
>>750648125
>movies
>>750648207
Charlotte's Web
>>750648275
Fucking hell
>>750641613
Jurassic World
>>750648103
Nice try
>>750648051
Hit and Run?
>>750648207
Room awesome movie.
>>750648207
Room
>>750647972
Did you even watch burn after reading
>>750648321
Besides in gta, no one ended up in jail.
>it's 8 Minutes to Midnight what am I?
>>750647943
Scarface
>>750648356
You got it
>>750648344
Nope.
>>750648420
Fuck you faggot. What else would you call Brad Pitt's hair?
>>750647766
I was going to ignore this trash answer but noone else even tried
>>750648420
Yes the movie is No Country for Old Men it was made by the same people you stupid faggot.
>>750648170
No, it's not Shaft, but at least you're on the right track.
Obviously nobody on this thread has seen it, or all those clues would make it ridiculously obvious what the movie is.
>>750648472
Moonlight
>>750647627
Wrong Hole Fool
>>750645184
Scream
>>750641613
Super Mario Bros
>>750648502
I mean, it's not Heat or the Town right? I don't recall anyone going into witsec in those.
Guy who’s a teacher gets manipulated by the US government to go to an island with lots of other guys interested in his career/bobby and ends up fucking whores every night and during the day meets for group activities.
>>750641459
>man goes on vacation
>not really
>>750641459
>possibly autistic guy drives cars
>offers kid a toothpick
>stomps guys head in scaring away chance of pussy
>>750648721
total recall
>>750648051
Hint:
> "it took two days to thaw him out for the autopsy"
