I've got a story for you guys cause you’ve helped me through the hard times, so I thought you guys could get some entertainment out of my misery. This is the story about my first love, how it sent me to the psych ward, how I got assaulted by a nig nog, and how I rode my bike up hill one mile drunk to eat some pussy.
I'll start from the beginning.
>Been depressed.jpg since the day I was born
>My dad never really loved
>bullied at school
>no one likes me
>the few friends i have actually hate
>you know all that generic shit
>i'm sure all you tards have experienced it
>one fat kid named Reese
>Reese is big and likable and really good at baseball
>moi ne so much pas
>treats me like shit
>everyone knows the story
>he's not even the worse to me but for some reason him hating me bothered me more than anything else
>somehow made it through junior high without slashing wrists
>really hit my stride in freshmen year
>got lots of real friends
>even get a couple girlfriends.
>meet qt 3.14 named Ally
>Ally and me become best friends in December
>start getting some feelings for her
>her boyfriend dumps her in April
>cool nig nog friend talk me u telling me how i could sweep ally off her feet
>start building myself up
>Fall hard for her
>she falls for me, but things weren't right, timing was bad
>i still regret not moving faster
>she fall in arms of catholic kid named John
>ally a complete freak in bed
>john wont even pull her hair
>get told all about their sex life throughout the summer
>still love her
>at least I thought
>she still loved me but emotional couldnt risk it
>finally she says shes leaving him for me
>changes her mind the next day
>tell her I cant do it anymore
>end friendship
>that wasnt even the first time she done that that month
>she got some emotional problems cant be a part of that
>my depression and anxiety was destroying me
>finally get hooked up with some meds.jpg
I'll continue if anyone cares enough to hear the rest
>>674664280
Go on
Maybe end it? Pain is a virtue.
>>674664470
>Get the meds
>suddenly cant sleep
> or eat
>depression worsen
> ally texts me out of the middle of no where
> says 'Me and John broke up"
>thisismychance.gif
>we start talking again
>back to best friends
>feelings still there for her
>need that pussy
>we fooled around before her and john got together
>damn them tites
>ally doesn't have those feelings for me anymore
> She just wants to use me when she's horny, but even that's not constant with this bi polar bitch
>We start having hour long conversations at night about shit that teenagers think are deep
>really fall for her even more
>still cant sleep
>still cant eat
>still in love with her
>ally goes to a mutual friends of ours to get wasted, I go the next morning
>No one wasted
>I start slamming shot after shot
>get drunk
>ally there
>then john shows up
>fuck me.jpg
>things get emotional between the three of us
>just want to give up
>The friend who’s house we were at takes me to the kitchen
>I slam back another shot
>start crying
>friend takes me in her arms
>tell me I need to lose ally
>shes right
>decide I have to do it
>get ride home
>text her that I cant do this anymore
>friendship/friends with benefits is done
>can't keep doing it
>she calls me
>>674664614
I'm okay. Thanks for the offer though
>>674664280
Is there spaghetti or na?
Continue
>>674664876
A little bit of autism towards the end.
>>674665043
>she’s sobbing
>oh fuck me
>ally crying hurts something deep inside me
>she fucked me over so much over that year and a half of our friendship, but if i heard cry even to this day my heart would hurt
>I can't console her
>I start telling her that we can be friends
> no more sex or flirting or anything else just friends
>I'm going to need space
>but i think we can fix this
>She’s happy and she’s done crying
>she says she’s eating lucky charms
>drunk me loves lucky charms
>decide Im goin to her house
>get on my bike
>bike one mile up hill to her house
>drunker than I had ever been in my life
>I had taken the same path a couple times before to get that pussy
>make it alive
>get there
>she a hot mess
>her long black hair was put into a weak pony tail
>she was in a robe and pj short shorts
>her make smeared all across her face
>her blue eyes look tired
>GOING SMASH THAT PUSSY.jpg
>go inside eat lucky charms for like an hour with her
>she takes me into her arms
>looks me in the eyes, those beautiful eyes
>says “I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay.”
>drunk me to weak
>cant resist
> eat that pussy
> bike home
>get in shower and smell of cheap liquor and pussy
>Know as I sober up how much Ive fucked up
Walk the dinosaur/10
Just chill op, it hurts I get it but things will change. I assume you are still young and believe me these are the moments that shape you. Even though it hurts you'll grow to appreciate this moment eventually because it will have made you stronger and wiser. Just hang in there and don't sweat girls too much, espically when you're young. You're going to meet and lose a lot more; but that's the fun in it. It's all about the human experience, so hang in there and eventually it will be alright I promise.
cont plz op
>>674665153
Thank you that means a lot. Keep reading as I have came to a similar conclusion a year or two ago..
>>674665176
>call my friend that night crying telling her I messed up and did the exact opposite of what she told me to do
>calms me down
>tells me I need to end it
>decides she’s right
>decide I will end it for real tomorrow after school
>make it to the end of the day
>she texts me first
>oh no.jpg
>”My parents arent home and im not wearing pants”
>”... Ill be there in 5 minutes”
>get best bj of my life 10/10
>immediate guilt
>think maybe we can still be together
>she starts talking to an autistic
>not literal,but I still got my bets he is
>they started dating on 9/11
>way worse than actual 9/11 for me
>I can't keep being friends with her
>me and her thought we were great romantics and so much smarter than anyone else
>wrote letters full of symbolism(shitty teenage type)
>write her one last letter
>its ending our friendship
>place it in her mailbox
>bike home
>the same road I traveled to fall in love with her
> emotional destroyed
>still cant eat
> or sleep
Plz continue
>>674665421
>pushed only person I cared about away
>lose all the enjoyment in my life
>Feel alone despite lots of supportive friends and family
>all I want is her
> cant have her
>think im dying cause of a brain tumor
>cant eat or sleep
>I plan for a month to kill myself
>extreme detail went into it
>take all my antidepressants, my mom's and my dad’s pain meds
>My dad’s hunting knife
>break into dad’s guns
>receive 12 gauge
>get weights and rope
>go to near bridge
>take all the drugs
>tying myself to weights
>slahs my wrists
>Blow face off off
>fall into water
>overkill.90000000
>couldn’t fail
>ended up failing
>day I picked was september 24th of that year
>So close
>only 6 days
>Im sitting in pe one day and dick nig nog kid is a fuckin dumbass nigga
>We have to run extra cause of Nig nog
>Im upset
>mutter that alec was a dumbass to myself
> his best friend heard me say this
>go back to gym locker room
>His best friend(Raven) come u to me and asks why I said that
>trying to explain
>shoves me straight to the ground
>wtf.wtf
This gets a bit autistic
>>674664280
wanna know where you went wrong? You were friends with a girl.
Never be friends with girls.
>>674665391
We are here for you, OP.
>>674665561
aweh man you just ruined it
>>674665561
Cont, OP. Even if you are a major beta.
>>674665629
Truth
>>674665655
Thank you
>>674665717
???
>>674665891
>start sarcastically fake crying
>gets up and jogs away
>not run or walk
>jogged
>go out back door of locker room
>realize its cold as fuck outside
>knock on door to be let back in
>Raven is standing there with another Chad
>Ready to be beat to death
>takemenowjesus.jpg
>let me in without a fight
>raven leaves his ending remarks, “I dont’t why you gotta say stuff like that anon behind his back… like grow a pair and say it to his face”
>Icanfixthis.jpg
>nig nog walk by right then
>call him a dumbass
>Thought I had solved the problem
>obviously had not
>go back to changing
>nig nog pushed me down without my pants on
.shitshitshitshit.jpg
>yell just fucking kill me already
>all the emotions hit me hard
>start crying
>think he may actually hurt me
>praying he does
>out of nowhere
>not a noise made
>flys in outta nowhere 200 pound Reese
>He scares nig nog off
>picks me up and bro hugs me 8 times and gives me a pep talk
>holy shit
>finish changing
>go home
>start thinking about stuff
>ally texts me
Cont
>>674665960
Are you genuinely autistic?
>>674666304
Unfoutanely not.
>>674666288
>fuckme.jpg
>Long ass text about how sorry she was being so ‘toxic’ and fucking me up and all that bullshit
>realiz how much I had been hurting her
>break down
>imafuckandalwayswillbe.jpg
>tell her the plan
>i'm too tired to broke, to weak to keep going
>crisis team called
>my parents told
>they start preparing to send me to the hospital
>sit down and talk to my dad about fixing our relationship
>He breaks down and starts crying
>”Anon this might be sad, but I really dont have any friends anymore and you are the closest thing I have. I love you. Please dont leave me anon. “
>Just thinking about it makes me sad
>fix our relationship
>go to hospital
>work everyday to get better
>make it and survives
> not only did I survive, but I lived and I still live every single day to the fullest
>>674665960
ouch, the part of "kill me already" cut me. gotta watch those edges...
Moar plssssss
>>674666520
>It wasnt easy and for the first couple months after the hospital shit was hard
>Learning to cope and deal with everything.
>I had to take everything one day at a time
> At first hated moving so slow
>realized I was living life better cause of it
>was improving
>”Yesterday, I was the least shittest version of myself so far. Tomorrow, I'll be the best version of myself up until this point.”
>Gay quote I tell myself
>Work towards that goal everyday
> Been 1,258 days since that day in September 24th in which I planned to kill myself
Thanks for reading. The fact you made it all the way through this means a lot. I hope you got some enjoyment out of pain. It makes it feel like maybe all that pain was worth. Just to make a couple people smile. I want everyone to know suicide isn’t the answer. It never is. Rage against that dying light. Keep fighting. Never stop fighting. That is all.
>>674666516
Dude I really was that edgy as a 15 year old
Good, inspirational story. Enjoyed
>>674666520
don't think he has moar.
>>674666460
it's fine anon, we've all been depressed. i've been really depressed lately about how i can't work up the courage to ask this girl i've known for two years out. half japanese, half brazillian. think about that for a moment, total 8.5 (at least) right there. now i have to wait for the college's spring break to end, which is like a week. least i got money now to ask her to go on a date, right? except for idk any good first dates besides the shitty movies.
shit, this turned into me asking for advice. well shit, if anyone can help out, i'm open.
>>674666768
Glad you got through your shit OP. I'm working through some similar bullshit right now, I won't lie and say this inspired me to stop wallowing in self-pity because I probably will for a good while, but hopefully I won't end up dead either.
>>674666768
Glad to hear you doing better, bro.
>>674666768
OP, you may be a tad autistic, and a huge beta, but I'm glad you made it out. /b/ is always here for you. Thanks for sharing.
>>674666768
in all seriousness OP, hope you do good. even if this story was fake, someone probably experienced it before at some point. it's sad, and it's good you got through it. what happened to that bitch, though?
>>674667014
Honestly as long as you make whatever date you take her on fun and memorable, it'll work for her if she's interested in you. Make her laugh, ask her about herself, talk about similar interests. Also, don't pay for both your and her ticket, not on the first date, unless she's homeless as shit or something.
>>674666958
Thank you.
>>674667014
You need to ask yourself if its worth the risk. If she says no will it hurt you to much? If think you have nothing to loose ask her dude. Go for it. Life is too short to sit around and wonder what could of been.
>>674667124
Thank you bro. Know that one losing one person in your life is never enough for you to give up.
>>674667161
>>674667194
Thank you guys for reading. Keep fighting.
>>674667317
Unfourantely its too true. I wish it wasnt, but Im better because of it.
>>674667344
Completely agree with this guy.
>>674667762
so have you talked to or seen A at all since then?
>>674668662
Yeah I was wondering about this too
>>674668662
yeah, have you?
anon. i just wanted to say that Sept 24th is my bday. and last February 24th i tried to kill myself but failed. i figured i was born on a 24th, i would die on a 24th. I've gotta say i'm glad i didn't die, and i'm glad you didn't either. i love you anon, keep crushin life. you've got this.
>>674668662
>>674668754
>>674668851
I have. At first it I couldn't even look her in the eyes. Her and and austic are still together(relation is still shit and abusive). I see her around town everyone once in awhile and stop to talk about books we are reading and how we are doing. Sometimes really want to fuck or just become friends with her again. Can't let that happen though. Ive grown to strong.
>>674669190
honestly dude that sounds like pretty normal feelings to have about an ex. especially an ex where closure was such a tough thing to get. But 'grats on getting to this point, stay strong etc.
>>674668906
Im extremely glad you're alive anon. I love you too. Keep fighting brother.
>>674669190
Yeah, my advice is to tell that bitch to fuck off if she tries to contact you again. I'd like to take my own advice but my girlfriend left because of shit I did, this girl just sounds like she didn't give two shits about your feelings.
>>674669442
At times I didn't care about her feelings too. And I really believe she cared a lot about me, we were just two really shitty manipulative horny teenagers. We thought we were smarter and better than anyone else. Even each other. I don't hate for everything. Its hard not to and all, but I think that's been a huge part of getting better. Thank you for the concern and I hope you can figure stuff out with ex gf.
>>674669398
Etc. to you too.
>>674670333
haha, i didn't mean to sound dismissive. i just really came to say that you sound good where you are now, and that's great.
I mean >>674669944
is pretty spot on dude
>>674666768
Handled it better than i handled some shit that's for sure. At least you didnt join a gang and end up in jail cause nobody loved you and you thought the gang would.
>>674670751
I was just joking in >>674670333
Really thank you. Stay strong.