ITT: Awkward sexual experiences. I'll start. >Be me,
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: Awkward sexual experiences.
I'll start.
>Be me, britfag.
>Talking to girl on tinder for a few days, just the usual flirting and shit.
>Pretty cute face, in the pics that I saw she was a little chubby but not obese or anything.
>Conversation naturally turns towards sex, turns out she's into the same stuff.
>Skype for a bit, never saw more than her face, didn't think much to it at the time.
>Arrange to meet up.
>Day eventually arrives, catch train and wander the mile or so towards her flat.
>MFW stops answering texts when i'm like 200 yards away from the door.
>After 10 minutes, get a text saying she's sending a flatmate to open the door for me, since she can't be bothered.
>Get into flat eventually, quickly ushered into a room by mystery girl.
>Realise it's her, it's the girl.
>OhFuck.jpg
Cont. 1/5
>>711975155
>Sit on bed awkwardly, trying not to make it clear I'm surprised.
>Turns out she's still quite nice to talk to, but looks completely different in person.
>Lie on bed next to her, faces quite close to each other as we talk.
>Her phone goes off, she moves over and looks at it.
>Minutes pass, girl is still scrolling through her facebook feed for some reason.
>Be 15 mins later, about to get up and leave.
>Puts phone down, starts talking about kissing.
>Weigh up my options: Either go through with it for another notch in the bedpost, or leave and humilate the poor girl.
>Fuck it, kiss her.
>She barely moved her mouth, pull away thinking she was joking or something.
>Turns out, nah, completely serious.
>It's really weird, worry that she'll think I'm the weird one.
>Feels super wet between her legs. Guess I'll just go for it.
Cont. 2/5
go on
>>711975195
>10 minutes of fingering later, figure twice for her is enough for it to be my turn.
>Carry on kissing, move her hand to my crotch.
>She fumbles with belt clasp for solid minute before I do it myself.
>Girl grabs limp penis.
>Looks me in the eyes with a 'Yeah you like that don't you?' sort of smile.
>Starts jerking me off, but just the base, so basically pointless.
>Puts it in her mouth and sort of moves it around a bit.
>Get maybe a semi.
>Another 10 minutes later, begin to get worried I'm taking too long to cum.
>Tensing like crazy, calling forth ancestral spirits to help me fucking nut.
>In an effort to not seem entirely autistic, start fingering her again and just do it myself.
>Finally come on her, since she asked me to.
>Girl starts complaining and shouting about rapidly cooling jizz.
>SquealLikeApig.WAV
>Forced to clean up.
>"So anon, you wanna...?"
Cont. 3/5
>>711975814
Why would you continue after that? Jesus.
also, bump
more more
>>711975195
>>711975978
A mixture of self-loathing and pity. Anyway.
>Somehow get a semi again, put on condom.
>Looks dumb as fuck but whatever.
>Have some fairly normal but decent doggy style sex.
>Girl comes, I come shortly afterwards and pull out.
>Fall beside her, panting.
>Make a joke about how she'd never know that was my first time (It wasn't)
>Looks at me and says it definitely wasn't my first, asks how many people I'd actually slept with.
>Tell her she's my 4th, she looks shocked.
>"Don't look at me like that, it wasn't *that* good"
>"No no anon, just that's nothing compared to me."
>For fuck's sake.
>"oh haha how many for you then?"
>Puzzled expression as she calculates the number.
>37.
>Thirty fucking seven.
>Must've spent all her SeXP on some other useless skill tree, instead of one to actually be any fucking good at it.
Cont. 4/5
>>711975195
>or leave and humilate the poor girl.
she totally deserved it.
>>711976222
Yeah, but which bit makes you say that in particular?
>>711975155
sauce
http://javsex.net/watch-movie-1pondo-092415-159-aoi-shirosaki.html
>>711976359
I just stopped reading at the quoted "poor girl".
>>711976570
I dunno, I'd feel pretty shitty if a girl just upped and left.
>>711976186
>Awkwardly clean up and have some idle conversation.
>Somehow ends up rating me a 'solid 8' out loud (Not really but it's nice she would say that)
>"What would you rate me anon?"
>Most awkward conversation of my life and least convincing response of "oh like, definitely an 8 too yea" follows.
>Gets her phone out again whilst we're talking, begins swiping on tinder.
>FuckThis.gif
>Tell her it was about time I left anyway
>Be walking through the city with her to the train station.
>Pass fancy new clinic
>Comment about since it was for students, the only thing they'd do would be constant STD tests.
>"I wouldn't know haha."
>Sudden bolt of fear as I realise she probably hasn't gotten tested, ever.
>TFW I put it in her mouth.
>TFW 37.
>TFW stings when I pee.
>TFW
>>711976520
nobody asked for that
>>711975814
>Tensin like crazy
>>711976732
oh dear...
>>711976654
oh, you poor delicate PTSD fagits
>>711976732
>>TFW I put it in her mouth.
>>TFW 37.
>>TFW stings when I pee.
>>TFW
confirmed -- you totally deserved it.
>>711975155
> Meet girl, friend of a friend. 7/10 but pretty cool
> Drinking and hanging out
> Start kissing. Fumbling. Move to bed
> More kissing and groping. She's completely passive
> playing with her tits. start rubbing her crotch through her pants. She's not putting her hands on me at all.
> She's still kissing back though, so she's clearly interested.
> Put hands in pants. Insert finger....what's that?
> oh-its-a-tampon.jpg
> Remove finger. dafaq? She didn't say anything about being on the rag
> Confused about next steps, ask "what do you want to do tonight?"
> "play with me"
> lolwat?
> "play with me"
> "What does that mean?"
> "play with me"
> Kiss and grope more, until I forget about tampon.
> Take off pants, start trying to get my dick in there
> Oh right, tampon.
> "I guess we can't have sex tonight, plus I didn't bring a condom. What should we do instead?"
> "play with me"
> "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"
> "play with me"
> SRLSY WHAT DAFAQ DOES THAT MEAN?
> Losing my shit.
> It's the only thing she says. Repeats it over and over again
> How many times? It's over 9000!
> Is this real life?
> She's not using her hands still, isn't acting like she wants to blow me. I'm not playing with her tampon anymore
> Not even in the mood at this point.
> Eventually, give up. Go to couch. Sleep.
Weirdest night of my life. I wish I had some kind of clue about what she wanted. Sometimes booze makes it easier, sometimes the booze just makes things weird.
>>711975155
No one cares, post pics or fuck off OP
>>711977126
She probably wanted you to be her Daddy. Chicks into age play are fucking weird.
>>711977126
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Play_(BDSM)
>>711977126
my LEGO trains always tell me "play with me". Pic totally related. YAY!!!!!!
>>711975155
> Be me, 18. virgin as fuck
> Decide to see hooker about some business
> Call the agency. Have one "girl" left
> How old?
> "42"
> fuck it, send her over
> She shows up. well, it's a woman.
> Talk money first. Pay her 100$
> Oh, and she needs cab fare.
> She gets undressed. Puts condom on me. Starts blowing.
> totally-unerotic.jpg
> It's been a long day, so she asks me to rub her shoulders.
> Why isn't she paying me? At least she can feel what I'm doing.
> Gets on bed, starts doing doggy
> can't feel shit. She's loose. First time with condom.
> At least I can see her dirty immigrant asshole. Oh wait, that's not a good thing
> She rolls over, start doing the missionary
> Can't see her asshole, but now I can see her face, so....no improvement
> Pump for a while but it ain't happening
> "Not gonna make it with this equipment"
> Just be done with it.
> It's only been 20 minutes. Paid for an hour, but don't want more.
> She leaves.
> Now I'm a real man.
>>711976732
I've gotten the clap to before pal. They give you some pills you take, don't have sex for a while then it's gone.
Got one for you fags
>be me 17
>dating gf for 2-3 months
>go to her house for big BBQ her parents are throwing
>10-15 people there mostly her fam playing horseshoes and drinking eating hotdogs you typical Amerifat shit
>gf decides she is ready to fuck finally
>almost blow load from excitement
>go downstairs there is a sliding glass door leading from hallway to outside a little bit away from her fam
>close sliding door and curtains
>being retarded teenagers we decide to fuck on a futon in the hallway in front of sliding glass door
>she takes shorts and panties off climbs on top of me throws blanket over us leaves shirt on
>finally shove it in that wet tight hole
>hurts for her she is virgin
>2 min in hear sliding glass door open
>why the fuck didn't we lock it
>it's her dad he sees us immediately drops in opened bud light can on ground
>gf sits up blanket still cover my p in her v
>screams out "we are just laying here!"
>father says sorry while basically sprinting out door
>surprisingly lets me keep going after
>mfw that was 8 years ago and we are now engaged
>mfw my father in law witnessed me deflower his daughter
>>711977949
>Now I'm a real man
Fucking kek
Hey guys! Who likes a flaccid penis? Srs Do I have Phimosis? This is as far as I can pull the foreskin back.
>>711978573
>>711978684
Fuck off.
>>711978573
Keep trying everyday, Anon. Each time until it hurts.
Eventually you would be able to uncover your glans completely.
>>711977126
I was expecting this to be a joke about a talking dolls with a string for the longest time.
>>711977497
>Date girl for 2 years
>Epic sex
>One day she asks me to not ask questions
>Ok, go on
>Fuck me and hit me harder than you think I can handle
>harder
>HARDER
>Tears drop and she does that breathing crying thing
>Calls me daddy
>She comes hard and loud
>Happens every other week
>mfw
I don't know and i don't want to. She got off, I got off.
>>711978840
>>711978867
Maybe you guys need some more pics? Thanks for your input, I genuinely need to figure this out.
>>711978867
>>711978867
>>711978209
That is an actual great story of youthful indiscretion with a happy ending. Congratulations anon.
>>711979058
gtfo cancerdick
>>711978912
I was disappointed when it wasn't
>>711978912
Now that I re-read it, me too
>be me last week
>meet 8/10 on tinder
>talk to her a lot for a week
>talk leads to other talks
>talking about fucking A LOT
>she asks if i'll get drunk with her
>ok
>she invites me over to her place
>ok
>she mentions it'll just be us
>nut
fast forward to weekend
>show up
>not awkward at all seeing her
>get drunk
>end up laying down together in her bed
>she starts flirting hard
>i go in for the kill
>she wont even kiss me
>mad.jpeg
>get up and leave her
>haven't talked since lol
>>711977949
This story isn't real
>>711976732
I bagged some Asian chick and she ended up having an STI got that shit taken care of at a local clinic just one pill and a shot and I was good to go in a week. But now I use condoms and never eat girls out or kiss them once they have sucked my dick.
>hooked up with a 30 something lady
>6.5/10
>gave one of the best blowjobs in my whole life
>"anon you can put it in my dirty hole"
>diamonds.jpg
>fucked her ass like there is no tomorrow
>cums and pulls out
>condom is covered with brown stuff
shit i am never doing that again
>having a threesome with a friend of mine and this slutty south american girl we know
>we're all quite good friends and have known each other for a while so not really awkward
>started off slow but slowly getting more into it, changing position easily and getting more intense
>at one point we're doing doggy and i'm fucking her from behind while she blows my m8
>i eventually bust in her and move to the sofa for a bit to smoke
>my friend stays on the bedd and the girl gets on and starts riding him
>at one point he shouts like ''what the fuck?!?'' and starts spazzing out telling the girl to get off
>apparently since she got on top of him all of cum i'd just blasted inside her oozed out all over his dick and balls
>we laugh about it now but at the time he was pretty upset
>masturbate
>bust nut
>clean up and resum life
mfw when virgin
>Pick up girl at bar
>bring her to my fancy hotel room
>she insists she wants to fuck on the armchair near the front door
>i'mokwiththis.jpg
>she's riding my cock reverse cowgirl
>datass.png
>she's really into it, moans and screams
>something is off, i can tell by the way she moves, she never watches me
>move my head to the left
>mfw she is watching herself in the mirror
>mfw she's watching in her own eyes
>mfw she starts dirty talking to herself
>mfw she calls herself a dirty slut.
>she comes clamping hard on my cock while shouting at the mirror how she's just a bitch in heat
>she just says thanks and leaves me there without making me cum
>>711981058
how is this awkward?
>>711978209
Haha that reminds me of a similar story!
>be 16
>every weekend go to best friends house because his parents are cool and dont care if we smoke weed and drink
>smoke weed and drink every weekend
>bring our girlfriends most of the time
>this time its me and 2 friends, and our 3 girls
>we all decide its time to fuck
>have to figure out who gets where...
>i am able to win and stay in the party room out in the garage.
>best friend whose house it is goes to his bedroom
>other friend goes to thier nice new camper attached to friends dads truck
>start gettin hot and heavy with my gf, we have been dating for a while, so nothing new
>after foreplay finally get it in, right as I do..
>the fucking door opens
>friends dad, stares at me on the couch fucking this bitch, drops his beer.
>i yell out "were not fucking" ... like what the fuck else are we doing, he sees my dick in her lol.
>he leaves, i finish as fast as possible, make her get dressed and go yell at friend.
>he told me his dad wouldnt be home for 2 more hours.. he was wong...
Shoulda picked the camper...
>>711981058
I'd fucking "rape" the bitch. I need to nut too.
>>711980052
wait wut
>>711981386
my friends dad was like this too. Except he said "if you ever want to bring a chick to my house and fuck her. Just call me and I'll go to the bar for a few hours". That man is a legend to me.
>>711979149
>>711979058
I think it's because you're like fucking 13 and your foreskin is still atttached to your penis. Doesn't like that tight at all
>>711981938
What a great guy. Hope I'm cool like that.
>>711981938
Yeah friends dad is really cool, i was like a second son to him. And he didnt care, it was friday so he just wanted to get wasted and play guitar hero, but i delayed his plans haha
>be me 6 years ago
>25 yo
>not virgin but not getting much play either
>cum too quick always and have complex about it
>start dating a chubby 6/10
>good personality and qt
>2 weeks go by, taking it slow but she's way into me
>the time comes
>making out in my bed
>start feelin dem titties
>hand moving lower
>start rubbing pussy
>get inside her panties and find the clit with my finger
>30 seconds later she shivers and cums
>wat
>roll over and she pulls my pants off
>sucks my cock for 30 seconds and I cum
>we cuddle all night after that
>last month was our 2nd wedding anniversary
>now have 3.5 months old son
Found my fast cum soul mate lads
>>711979149
Fuck i want going to respond but dont listen to this guy.
>>711982149
Just do some stretching exercises by pulling the skin, but make sure it doesnt hurt as that might scar it. Do this for 20 minutes every shower with hot water. After a while of this practice pulling it back while fully erect to get an even stretch. Only took me like a month
>>711982584
Forgot to mention she trimmed down and is now 8/10
>>711980404
That makes no sense. You fucked her in the ass, what'd you think was gunna happen?
>>711980772
really enjoyed that, great story
>>711983194
This.
Unless she got an enema. Expect to be packing at least a little fudge. And thank the Lord if you don't.
>>711982584
Sir, my highest regards and congratulations.
Wife and I are your black 'n white opposite. We go for 20 minutes bare minimum with a casual fling... holding record is 150 minutes give or take. Married 16 years.
Finding the right one is golden.
>>711975155
>>711983429
Thanks bro, congrats to you too
>>711983375
Tbh I don't much care myself. I don't like shit, but it doesn't make sense, to me, to get all worked up about shit on my dick when I'm fucking some bitch in the ass.
>>711976186
>Must've spent all her SeXP on some other useless skill tree, instead of one to actually be any fucking good at it.
Fucking golden OP, thanks for the belly laugh
>>711980772
another
>having threesome with different friend
>girl is some romanian girl we know
she's on her side im behind her friend is in front getting head
>at one point i look at my friend and he's just got his phone out and he's recording the whole thing
>not sure what to do so i smile and throw up a gang sign ironically
>friend shows video to multiple friends and girls
>not sure if i'm cool or not
>>711984483
Where do you live with all this diversity
>>711976973
>imagine having feelings and human emotions, what a snowflake SJW
>>711984649
the netherlands
Somebody screencap this story. This is prety gud
>>711976359
she's scrolling through her facebook feed while you're there
>>711984924
same actually, i know quite a few eastern euros now that i think of it
>>711984483
one more
>me and friend from first story are at his playing super smash on the game cube
>sister of one of my friends messages me
>shes kinda punky/gothy looking, lot of piercings and a dread
>we'd hooked up once before, shes like 23 i was 17 and friend was 16
>i invite her over and she comes over with a friend who leaves at one point
>we're in bed watching something on the laptop and i tell her to go under the sheets
>she goes under and starts giving us head
>at one point she's giving my friend head and for some reason i dont know why i just get out of bed and go to the game cube
>start playing smash
>probably cause i couldn't get hard
>she peeks up over at the blankets and asks what i'm doing
>say im just playing smash
>mood is sort of ruined
>friend joins me and plays smash
>girl sits in bed confused and starts getting pissed
>me and friend sort of ignoring her and getting into smash
>girl leaves angrily
>still regret it to this day
>>711985322
there are loads, specially in groningen
>>711976520
Tha k you been looko g for that 4 a while
>>711981386
didn't know being a shitty parent was cool
>>711985596
Im in eindhoven. The universities here attract a lot fortunately
>>711985838
anythings better than dutch girls am i right
>>711985535
waveshines > girls any day anon great choice
>>711986139
haha yeah. Currently with a nice indian girl
>Be me
>21, virgin
>Get drunk at school one night
>Decide to order pizza
>See group of libtards
>Except one girl mexican looks normal
>Solid 7/beergoggles
>flat chest but the ass was fat
>I ask if they wanna go halfsies on pizza
>´Sure whats ur name´
>Make idle chat
>Devolves into sex experiences
>Got none, lie about bdsm
>Mexican likes hair being pulled
>Liquidcourage.jpg
>Rub back of head and pull like in the movies
>She moans
>Hard.avi
>Ask if she wants to go back to dorm
>We walk through the front because beer
>Male dorm crowded
>Nobody cares about girl
>Weird.webm
>Go to room, nobodies in
>Start kissing
Cont
>>711986641
>She wants anal like 7 minutes into it
>Diamonds.jpg
>She pulls her pants down before pussy shown
>A bit hair but still damn
>Grab lotion from under bed
>Lube ass and cock up
>Slides in decently tight
>She spreads her ass as pound for >10 minutes
>Supersoaker cumming in her ass
>She said she came
>Goes to bathroom
>Doors open
>Whips tiny cock out
>Vomit
>Black out
Mfw Turns out that she had a thin mustache and was known to be on hormones. Now everyone thinks im a faggot.
>be a year and a half ago
>got a friend request and a message from old friend from high school that i hadn't seen in years
>i always had a huge crush on her, we hung out all the time but i got friend zoned
>she talks about how she passed my house earlier and thought of me
>talked casually for a while and then things got flirty
>arrange for her to come hang out at my house to catch up (i live alone in my own house, btw)
>she shows up, hasn't changed a bit, physically
>9.5/10 blonde, green eyes, petite tits, cardiobunny with perfect ass and toned af
>all my virgin high school masturbatory memories flashing before me
>we drink some wine and talk for hours
>she's completely changed as a person
>hardcore born again christian (she was kind of a slutty anarchist back in high school)
>still really flirty, so we eventually start fooling around on my bed
>no sex, but hardcore makeouts and grinding
>after fooling around she talks about how her last relationship, her bf was hardcore religious like her
>vowed not to have sex before marriage
>tell her im an atheist, and that's gonna be a problem
>says she always liked me in high school, and isn't that adamant on the no sex and wants to make it work
>is VERY specific in telling me it's not going to happen any time soon though
>idgaf, i used to be in love with this chick, she's still model hot, and now she's "a good christian girl"
>think i found the jackpot, and bear with the no sex as we dated
cont...
>>711986804
ew lost your virginity to a dude
>>711987473
Felt so good though
>>711978036
umm it is never gone faggot, just managed. How many pussies have you ruined for the rest of us thinking it was gone. FUCK!
>be me
>21 y/o lad
>chick I like to probe is into some nasty stuff
>Start banging the breast carrier
"Call me dirty names Anon"
>First thing comes to mind is slut
"You're a dirty slut"
>She likes it, continue calling names
>mid sex now
>"What is your name, you slut"
"Sabrina"
>stop having the sex
>everything is quite
>mfw mom joke
>>711987309
>fast forward 3 FUCKING MONTHS
>nothing but make out sessions and over the clothes rubbing/grinding
>she's fucking perfect, but it's starting to not be worth it anymore
>she can tell i'm becoming irritated whenever she stops my advances
>try to act ok with it for a little longer to make it work, since i may never get this lucky again
>one night she goes out with a friend to a country bar to go get shitfaced and dance while i stay home
>wake up to a text at 2:AM
>10 missed texts: babyyyyy, baaaaaby, are you awake?, baaaaaabeeee etc.
>i call her, and she's clearly drunk as balls
>she asks to come sleep over
>realize this is my chance
>she stumbles in to my house and gets into bed
>we make out for a bit, and for the first time, she licks her hand and puts it down my boxers
>starts talking dirty to me, acting like a little slut
>never seen her like this before in my life, completely different person
>go to finger her, and she tells me she's on the rag
>heart drops instantly, but then is resuscitated when she takes my boxers off and starts blowing me
>ball sucking, face rubbing, no gag reflex, the works
>no idea what got into her, but was loving every second of it
>it was like one of those cock worship porn videos, glorious
>i cum, she swallows, and we both pass out
>next morning i wake her up because i have to work
>immediately starts crying as soon as she opens her eyes
>says it was too soon, she feels like a sinner and she shouldn't of done it
>hints at me that it's my fault for taking advantage
>it's kind of true, so i apologize to try to make it work, and say i'll wait
>as the next few weeks go by, we get less and less intimate
>to the point where she rarely even kisses me because she's afraid she'll get too horny
>after 4 months and a single blowjob, i tell her im breaking up with her
>she starts crying again, and apologizing, but i'm done, so i just tell her to leave
So much wasted time, but at least i got the best blowjob of my life
>>711986139
What's wrong with dutch girls? amerifag here, always heard that they're bombshells
>>711983429
Seems like it would just become boring after awhile.
>>711982584
Sauce on that gif?
>>711988473
wat?
>>711988528
Why wouldnt christians be allowed to give blowjobs the fucks wrong with her?
>lose virginity
seriously, there is no more to be said than that. It was awkward as shit, and I went into it knowing it would be the most awkward experience of my life and it still was even worse than I thought it would be
>>711988382
If you weren't a virgin you'd know that just isn't true. Go back and take middle school health again faggot, if you're not in it right now.
Nice picture btw, I see you saved it from a clickbait article.
dont try to pull out anal beads like you would try to start a lawn mower
>>711990234
Holy kek.
You only make that mistake once, I'll tell ya. Did the same shit with a buttplug back in high school.
>>711989787
She was just a crazy religious nut, dude.
I'm glad I left her, it was the right decision but my penis still regrets it.
Whenever I see her pics or am reminded of her, I cringe on the inside thinking about that ass and what could have been.
Fml. I still kind of feel like a badass breaking up with a chick as hot as she was, though. Just an old notch in my belt, now.
>>711990540
post a pic
>>711978209
> yfw
>>711975155
> be 21 fucking 35 yr old brunette fatty with short hair
> only fucking her cuz she looks like my mom and my mom won't fuck me
> her pussy is loose and I can't come
> pump away for an hour and can't come
> be in missionary ask her to roleplay mom . . . she freaks out
> I pretend I was kidding . . . we both know I wasn't
> flip her over and put it in her ass
> MUCH tighter than her pussy
> start imagining that I'm fucking my mom up her ass (they look a lot alike from behind)
> between the tighter hole and imiaging my mom I can finally come
> "MOMMY!" . . . didn't even give a fuck that she heard me
>>711978209
her dad is a cuck, who deserves to have his daughter fucked in front of him.
actually, idk... thats kinda weird now that i typed it out.
>>711990733
kind of reluctant to do that on here...
>>711976186
>>711976732
>37 dicks
>>711980066
"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
also, checked.
>>711991233
the thread will disappear soon anyway. you can't say how how she is, then not post a pic, bro.
>>711991266
In a row?
Dubs checked.
>>my fiend introduces me to a girl,
>>he's got a girl, great, double dates n shit.
>>months of dating and spending time, she won't "be girlfriend"
>>nothing wrong, can't figure it out.
>>after a year, she finally wants to be girlfriend
>>we date for 2 (more) years, I leave her cause of different life goals n shit.
>>friend had left girlfriend a few months back
>>2 single dudes again, house mates too
>>2 months later, come home early from work
>>friend banging my Ex
>>meh, I was done with it, why not have his ride on the merry-go-round
>> 1 year later found out he had cheated on his girlfriend with my girl before she n I got together.
>>she didn't want to get with me, I was just being used.
>>she was trying to get with my friend, for a year
>>I was given seconds, and I was seconds.
>>TFW
>>711977949
This is the most accurate hooker story I've read here and i know cus i lived something similar
>>711976732
>>TFW 37.
bro. you were 38.
>>TFW stings when I pee.
when you're so bad guys don't come back I guess your numbers go up fast.
>>711975155
草泥马
>>711991531
Meh, fuck it. i doctored them a little bit. Who really gives a shit?
>>711991815
man... that's shitty anon...
>>711985715
now you do
>>711977126
Omfg u fucking moron
Bitches like that are the fucking best
They will fuck u whenever however and yes u can fuck them on the rag and it will probably score u bonus points to just raw dog both her holes while slapping and choking her. She wanted u to fuck her like a little bitch doll dude
What a fuck up
I had a Mexican chick like that and it was fucking awesome and she even brought her dat bootyed white friend over for me
>be me
>16 at the time
>i have a big dick, won't apologize for it
>all the girls we hang out with know it
>hanging out with friend, We'll call him Justin
>justin and i just sitting around bullshitting
>his cousin texts him, we'll call her S
lil backstory on his cousin, our third best friend, dated her for months, they must have fucked at least 50 times. He's no longer our friend at this point. Solid 7/10, no tits but rockin ass and a good enough face.
>she says she's just home alone with her friend and asks if we want to hang out
"Sure."
>we drive over to her house
>shitty trailer, 2/10 house
>open the door
>theres a fucking 30 year old beta man sitting on the couch watching tv next to a 300 lb goliath welfare addict
"uhh.. i thought you were home alone."
S: "they don't care what we do, they're cool."
>we go to the back room she looks at me
S: "Anon... I heard you had a really big dick..."
me: "uhh yeah.. that's what they say haha"
>she invites me to sit on the bed with her
>i do
>friend and her friend are sitting on the floor 2 feet away from us
>she starts rubbing my dick thru my jeans
diamonds.jpg
>SHE FUCKING TAKES MY DICK OUT, BEGINS SUCKING, 2 FEET INFRONT OF OUR FRIENDS
>few minutes of the worst blowjob of my life go by
S:"fuck me anon"
>fuck it, i'm already here.
>climb on top of her
>her friend freaks out
"OH MY GOD ARE YOU HAVING SEX ON MY BED"
>we tell her to shut up, go away
>she stays
>my friend stays
>apply condom... literally my cock is too big, won't fit in her
>spit on it
>finally get it in, we fuck for like 15 minutes straight, missionary only
>finish, throw condom at her friend, hits her in the face
>she throws a bitch fit and threatens to tell her parents when they get home
>S convinces her to just chill
her friend has all of her shoes laid out infront of her door
>spit in each shoe for keks
>leave without saying bye with my friend
>text third friend i fucked his ex for keks
>>711993999
What a bullshit story faggot, it's a shame them trips were wasted on fictional garbage.
>>711994371
"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
you must be new here...
>>711993999
Terrible story, not even a punchline for that joke?
>be me
>be 18
>unifag, britfag and autist
>friend from college who I always kinda liked talks to me again
>says how she wants a fuckbuddy since she is never getting dick at home and is a useless slag
>nice.jpg
>we sext a lot and can tell she is a full on sub slut
>arrange meetup at the college(3rd year retarded college student)
>go to woods behind college to walk and talk
>kiss a few times
>k.jpg
>go behind a tree and kiss her neck
>she heavy breathes and can tell shes into it
>pull down her leggings and start to try fingering
>go full blown autist because I had never done it before and could never properly find the hole
>starts raining and I shit myself and stop
>she goes "wtf are you doing, it'll be fine just carry on"
>in my infinite wisdom I say
>nah the moment has gone
>she storms off
>never talk again
in hindsight I know I would have been sticking my dick in crazy so dodged a bullet
>>711986804
Fuxking kek dude omg lol
not really in the league of you gentlemen but here goes
>be 16 with a 14yo gf
>laying naked in her bed in the middle of the night
>watching one of the chucky movies
>she has her head on my chest and arm around me
>"i'm so comfortable right now"
>"i can make it better"
>grab her
>lift her up on my dick while i'm on my back
>no penetration yet
>"see, much better"
>she giggles
>about to pull her closer in for a kiss
>wait, what is that in the corner of my eye?
Her fucking mother stood in the hallway and watched us with a creepy fucking smile that haunts me to this day
She watched her 14 year old "virgin" daughter being lifted up and placed on her boyfriends cock and walked away with a smile
>MFW
>>711992371
thanks anon, bummer you had to experience that. dat ass doe. fucken hell
>>711995105
wow youre a retard
>>711981058
Sounds like a Gunshow comic
>>711977126
Should have rammed it in her ass.
>>711995327
Dude what if she was watching you the whole time?
Also why were your naked bodies visible from the hallway
>>711995655
I know, that was a year ago and a lot has changed. always nice to look back on your past retardations and see how much of a useless cuck you used to be
>>711995385
No problem bud
>>711995105
Yeah you're an autist dude there's nothing wrong with boning crazy gals
>>711995845
she probably was, and my girl never saw her even though i tried "signaling" that someone was at the door but when she looke her mom had gone away
because we were laying in her bed and were naked most of our time together, and it was in the middle of the night so we didn't think anyone were up
>>711995940
there's crazy and the suicidal, "the world is against me"
"i have no friends" "why does no one like" gullable useless mouth breather.
but still tight pussy is tight pussy and
I should have fucked it if given the chance
>>711995327
wow, that' awkward as fuck. did you tell your gf at the time what happened? if so, what did she think about it?
>>711976186
SeXP, I'm crying
>>711983429
Wife and I are complete opposites. Takes half an hour to make her cum with my fingers then I enter her and cum in 3 strokes.
>mfw
>>711996605
when i saw her mom i completely froze
i tried signaling with my eyes that she should look behind her, but when she did her mom had left
>>711996859
but did you tell her afterwards that her mom was there?
>>711978209
>
bravo
>>711989787
They are...
Show me ONE FUCKING SENTENCE on the Bible which forbids it.
It's just the Church who makes all those fucking bans and boundaries
>>711996996
yes i did, but she responded with something neutral like it wasn't a big deal, can't remember exactly what she said
her mom never brought it up, i never brought it up and i had some difficulty looking her mom in the eyes at breakfast
>>711980052
wtf you saying you killed her?
>>711978209
heard this one before m8
>>711997517
fuck, haha that's wierd as hell
I randomly will laugh during sex. She'll feel awkward and wonder why I'm laughing. idk. I just laugh like I'm crazy.
I wanna get laid so bad. I'm in a 4 year LDR with a girl I love but not being able to fuck on demand and waiting forever is driving me insane. Holyshit I just wanna get my dick wet
My younger brother and I found eachother on grindr
>>711998105
did you swipe right?
>>711998286
Yeah, I love my brother.
>>711998286
We met up talked about and I jacked him off
>>711997517
she was probably completely fine with you fucking her daughter and felt like she could trust you not to nut and run
if you didn't marry that chick, you probably missed out on a potential threesome with that milf
>>711998105
is Grindr anonymous ??
I wanna use it to meet traps but I'm afraid of being caught
>>711998779
Yea
Reason he know it was me was because a distinctive mark on my dick that he regonised
>>711975155
So, back in high school i had a ridiculous crush on a girl i had known since the 8th grade (bestfriend zone), and long story short i ended up fucking her friend.
>Be me, junior in high school and slight betafag
>crush asks if i wanted to go to the mall with her
>decide it couldnt hurt, grab some cash and go with her
>She didnt tell me shed bring her friend
>she introduces me to the 5/10 friend
>her friend, for the sake of convince, i shall call Shi
>Shi is a sophmore and I am a junior
>shes major beta
>Slightly chubby with huge tits and not bad ass
>Entire mall day goes by with those two
>I end up having to walk the dumb bitch shi 3 miles home because she literally spent all of her cash at the stores and me and crush only had enough for 2 bus fares
>crush takes the bus and leaves me with 5/10
>mfw we when get to her house and she takes off her shirt and bra in her kitchen in front of me
>"My parents are asleep, want to play, daddy?"
>I shouldve just fucking left right there
>Instead I figure why keep going for crush if shes just gonna keep leading me on
>Lose my virginity
>Not what I expected, but I got to play with her tits so
>Leave her house about 2 hours later
>Crush calls me
>"Did you fuck her"
>Panic
>Say I had a crush on 5/10
>Crush says she was planning on asking me out because she says she knew I had a crush on her for a long ass time
>So tempted to kill myself that night
>4 years later and crush and I still are in touch
>broke up with shi several weeks later
>what couldve been, /b/?
>>711975155
What vid is the pic from?
>>711999228
>for the sake of convince
u sure ur not still in highschool op?
>>711999679
I said i was in high school, i never said i actually learned anything
>>711976186
>high mileage hoe
But Apex Zozzle on the sexp tree
>>711999228
sounds like a textbook case of having a beta orbiter "almost" get laid from your crush. then she just says she want to ask you out to mess with you
get over it
>>712000454
This. Bitches man. They play too much.
>>711991815
> >>
>>711991266
I'm fucking dying thank you anon.
>>711975155
Alright this one is kinda long but here you go
>Ex-Girlfriend called me out of the blue saying she was drinking and wanted to chill for a bit
>free booze hadn't gotten laid in a while why not fuck it
>end up stuff gets all hot and heavy and she is super fucking drunk
>She starts crying saying she cant do it and this isn't right blah blah blah
>I'm hard as diamonds and ready to go she is blubbering and crying in nothing but a pair of panties and all i have are some shorts
>Beta the fuck out and respect her wishes and watch as she gets more upset and kills off half a bottle of vodka
>we cuddle up and pass out
>I wake up after like an hour cuz still horny start poking her and slapping her trying to wake her up
>not a single stir
Cont.
Pic related looks a lot like her
Shutup i like fat bitches alright
>>711976186
>>712002904
On another note she would never let me put it in her ass like ever.
>roll her panties off and notice how she had a pad on welp that option is out
>Roll her on her side and spit on my hand rub it into her asshole
>rub some spit into my dick and go straight for the pooper no resistance straight in
>feels fucking good man
>pump into her for about 5 minutes slowly blow load in her asshole
>pull out clean as a whistle fuck yea
>wait about 10 minutes go for round two
>shove it back in start pounding away this time kinda hard
>she wakes up gets super pissed starts yelling at me and tightening while flailing her arms i freak and blow my load again while holding her tight
>realize how blackout drunk she is and she passes out again
>roll her over going for round three blow my load a third time then cuddle up next to her after pulling her panties up.
>pretend nothing happened in the morning as she has the "shits" i laugh as i drive home and life was good
>>712003577
>spontaneous anal sex
>pull out clean as a whistle
i'll take shit that never happened for 300, alex
>>712003859
man i've fucked myself in the ass spontaniously with a dildo and not gotten shit on my dick. Not everyone has a bad time when pooping friend
>>711976186
>>Must've spent all her SeXP on some other useless skill tree, instead of one to actually be any fucking good at it.
>>711976973
You know a lot of those soldiers S'd the D in the tranches right?
>going out with a girl a few years younger, about 20ish.
>go home to her parents one weekend. She's ultra-nervous, never had any partner home before.
>perfectly civilised time. talk lots with her father and get on well with both her parents and sisters (and the cat, the important member.).
>next morning, wake up, she's turned on.
>normal actions. realise she's desperately trying to be as quiet as possible.
>do my best to make her want to scream. she was a sub, its the sort of torture she'd love.
>she'd never been into giving oral, it hurt her jaw badly. not a big issue. I can live with that tbh.
>she's getting seriously turned on, close to orgasm.
>breathless, she talks quietly;
>"come in my mouth, anon, come in my mouth."
>pull out of her, grab her by the hair at back of her neck, plunge into her, balls deep. slip fingers inside her as I do.
>eyeswideinshock.gif
>come right down her throat.
>she comes too, shaking
>collapses off the bed, onto the floor.
>looks up at me.
>"I said COVER my mouth, Anon."
>oh. Awkward.
My first time with a girl
>Been dating this girl for about 2 1/2 months
>Never been with a girl before
>Still lived with parents (she thought it was kinky to be somewhat in public)
>Boob play and cop shows up (we were in my car)
>We go to different park and I start eating her out
>She starts yelling Instructions like a coach on what I should do
>It sounds like she was getting into it
>She stops making any kind of noise
>She is having a seizure (she told me earlier that she sometimes had siezures)
>I freak out, pretty soon she comes out of it
>My boner is gone, drop her off home
>Apparently she did cum
Spent like 10 minutes looking for a pic of her but looks like i dont have any nudes anymore
>>711975155
>be me >syrian cunt
>go to acting classes once a week on saturdays (don't ask why, i'm into acting.)
>first class
>nervous.jpg don't know what to expect
>get in it's a medium sized room the teacher is sitting on a table with another student next to her and i had already met 2 other students outside.
>teacher introduces herself and starts giving the class some relaxing excersizes
>a girl barges in late puts on her acting shoes lmao some ballet looking like shoes
>petite as fuck tightest waist you could ever see (probably Guinness record holder) curves like a tsunami ass of a goddess not so much on the tits still made me diamonds blonde blue eyes and pale pretty cute imo.
>i'm transfixed at her but trying to concentrate at what the teacher is saying
>I get paired up with her
>diamondsonceagain.jpg
>I consider myself to be a good actor she didnt seem bad herself we end up hitting it off teacher is quite impressed
>class ends we go out it was raining she had no umbrella so i offer to walk her to the nearest station
>we walk and talk
>i add her on fb
>gameOn.avi
>try not to text her for the following 3 days
>text her on 4th day saying "hey X i'm thinking of creating a small gig, want it?"
>she responds 10 minutes later asking for details but generally wants it
>we meet at my place
>she comes in and i tell her the cameraman is coming
>mfw there is no cameraman i tell my friend to text me back and forth playing the camera man and i call him once to add to the realism
> hey cameraman we've been waiting for 30 minutes here, you comin? "oh no sorry i forgot to tell u i cant make it, got some paperwork to do.
>look at anonette tell her he's not coming and im sorry to have had her come for nothing but she's welcome to stay and watch a movie or something if she wants
>says she got nothing to do at home anyway, whynot.jpg
>put some shitty comedy movie on, we get bored and turn it off 30 mins in
>we start talking just random chitchat
cont.
>>712005734
Actually I did find a pic of her
>>711986804
Pedro for president.
>>712005760
part 2.
> i had recently just read a book about how to attract women and that vulnerability is key
>decide to be vulnerable lmao
>she's talking about some random bullshit drama she has in her family
>i wait for her to finish and i say, i know this is off topic but i cant help but say that i think ur really attractive
>she kind of smiles shyly and says thanks but she seems uncomfortable
>i tell her i know this is out of the blue but i like being straightforward
>she says she thinks im manly and likes my acting
>lmao power of vulnerability
>i wanted to go in for the kiss but decided to get us some drinks first to ease the tension
>grab a bottle of half empty whiskey sip us drinks with some coke
>i sit closer next to her she doesnt move away
> we keep talking with laser eye contact for what felt like an hour but was a min or two
> i go in for the kiss she doesnt move
> ayy lmao im making out with a girl at my place that i had just met 4-5 days ago
> girl is completely passive
> doesnt stop me at all
> i had thought she'd say something like "too soon" but nope ok then i go for the clit
> start rubbing her down there groping her
> all good
> i take my shirt off
> take hers off
> kissing and shit
>5 mins later we're both naked
> we bang right there on the living room couch
> its around 11pm
> i actually like the company of this girl so i tell her to spend the night if she wants
> she says sure
> we spend the night together
> next morning wake up bang again make breakfast she leaves
>5 days later its today
>we're chatting probably gonna bang her again soon
THE END
Heres a story of my first time!
>Be me
>16
>average dude
>meet a 8/10 qt at school
>she asks me out
>i don't really know her but whatever shes hot
>start dating consistently
>prom night
>flirting alllllllllll night
>the rich fag booked a hotel room and invited us and some other fags
>we stay until around 2am
>everyone's gone
>she starts rubbing my crotch
>fuckyeah.jpg
>just stick it directly in her pussy
>things going smooth
>think im bout to nut
>she cums
>take dick out her vag
>deepthroats
>jizz all the way down her throat
>She starts gagging
>ohshit.jpg
>she vomits with my dick inside her mouth
>the smell makes me vomit too
>vomit and my jizz on the hotel rooms bed
The fag who rented the hotel room asks me about it later
He told everyone at the highschool and the girl never talked to me again
>>712006345
thats horrifying
>>712007036
someone's gotta bang em, right?
>>711997097
Genesis 38, the part about Onan. Onan won't nut in a woman to give her children, God gets mad at him wasting his "seed" and kills him. That's where the no sex not for procreation comes from.
>>711986804
Oh my God. Kek
>>711976186
In a row??
>>712003859
Shit that never happened? Literally, I guess.
>talking with gf about our ex'es
>she told me that her first bf fucked her in the ass
>wtf I want that ass too
>I dont really feel that I own the bitch
>eventually trying to put it in her ass
>with fingering stretching and stuff she's still in pain
>says it's too big compared to her ex dick
>I feel kind of proud
>still dont really feel that I own the bitch
>eventually rape her in the ass
>she screams in pain and begs me to stop
>keep on raping
>cum in her ass
>what to do now?
>saying she's a whore and I dont need her
>leaving immedialtely
>hour later
>what the fuck is wrong with me
>>712006948
nothing really awkward about that anon
>getting off with this retarded friend of my gf
>Mfw right hand notices I getting handie from left
>>712006955
ouch, bummer m8. i'd hate myself for months if i did that
>>711980220
Daamn an asian grill driving a subaru
>find a decent looking girl at a party on campus.
>talk for a bit and we someone get on the topic of medication.
>list off the scripts I get filled monthly.
>Turns out she love Adderall and Xanax.
> decides to follow me home so she could get a few pills.
>She begged for some Xanax. She must be have been used to a lower dosage, because my 2mg xanax bars put her down pretty quickly. She took three. 6mg total.
>before giving them to her I said it would cost her. I hint at fooling around.
>we get into heavy petting before the shit kicks in and see get all droopy.
>most awkward sex ever.
>>712007036
The thing is she know how to dress, I remember a bit before that some nig i knew asked how I ended up with a "babe" like her
>>711980404
>anal with a condom
wheres the fun, the best part about anal is pulling your dick out and watching the cum flow out
>>712009421
Nah the best part is having a piss the next morning and seeing the poo work come out of your japs eye before the piss
>>712009611
>poo worm
>>711993999
>Check Trips
>>711991266
kek
>>712009988
TRIPLE DUBS CHEEEECKD
>>711985535
i couldn't get head from a girl trying to please 2 guys at once either man
so don't fret
also your friend and you are a fag
>>711980052
Man, not everyone wants to fuck on the first date. She's lucky to be done with you.
>>712010333
not that anon but buy why would she get your hopes up like she did then not do a single thing in person? sounds a bit autistic to me
nice trips by the way
>>712010577
is there hot oil in there?
best part about it is being a white boy and pretending ur a nig-nog every time you look down
>>712009838
Doubt your the poster, but the op is a goddamn American hero
>>711975155
>be 18 yr old virgin
>meet girl through a friend pretty tight 7/10
>end up being texting back and forth for a couple of weeks coz both busy to catch up
>meet up and go for a feed. She asks if I want to watch tv at her place
>uh... sure
>walk in house and her mum and dad are in the living room
>walk straight into her room with her. Mum and dad don't even look up.
>watching tv for a while not saying shit coz too beta to make a move
>she asks why don't I like her? Uh.... wut?
>she wants to know how come I'm not kissing her
>lean over for a kiss. After a minute she starts heaving breathing.
>roll on top of her and start dry jumping her leg while I'm trying to get her too and bra off
>get those perfect cans out holy fuck they are perfect
>she's kissing my neck talking dirty shit like she is really wet>still dry humping her coz still too beta to whip the little fella out
>oh shit I know that feeling. No stop. Stop.
>mfw I blew my load in my pants while I was dry jumping her.
>mfw I hopped up and bailed
>mfw I had to walk through the living room past her parenta after only being there for 20 minutes with a wet spot on my jeans
>turns out she thought it was funny and now we have been together for almost 10 years.
>>712004665
Ok, I laughed pretty hard at that one
>>712008719
kek
>Dating a girl in my last year of Highschool
>She's a dancer, flexible, really snarky.
>Exactly the kind of girl I hate now
>Anyway, we were in my room at home
>Getting hot n' heavy
>Grinding all that good stuff.
>Starts to lick my cock, I like this
>Keep in mind I'm a really tall/big guy and she was really short and thin.
>Could barely fit my cock in her small mouth without hurting herself, poor thing.
>Eventually she starts enjoying herself with it.
>How unusual for us.
>Hear stuff going on downstairs, parents or sister.
>They're leaving to do groceries.
>Girlfriend still has entire cock in mouth
>Suddenly from the bottom of the stairs.
>"Make sure Bree has something to eat!"
>She snarfed out her nose real hard all over my cock from the humor of it all and the moment was ruined.
I don't think i've ever had a "perfect" sexual experience, but I've definitely had some interesting ones.
fucked a fat chick once
she gave me monster head but the sex was horrible
like so horrible she couldn't keep her legs up while I fucked her because she got tired
or she would ride me for 2 mins then start hyperventilating
I facefucked her and came 5 times between 1 and 2 am
she fell asleep and started snorting like fucking snorlax n shit
spent the whole night in a shitty hotel room in a drug infested hood waiting for dem 6 am rays of sunlight so I don't get jumped in the street by some mexican
when I got to my friend's house I lied about my whereabouts
fuck fat bitches
>>711978573
I can smell that thing from here
>>711975814
>Tensing like crazy, calling forth ancestral spirits to help me fucking nut.
>>711975155
>In bed with girl, very dark room.
>I'm at the bottom of the bed, going down on the girl.
>Shes super wet, slide finger in.
>insanelytight.jpg
>After a few minutes of going to town, she's moaning, I say "fuck you're so tight, I can barely get my finger in".
>Long pause. "Anon, your in my butt."
>mfw
>>712011291
>Same girl
>It might have a been a couple months later, or maybe just weeks.
>I was in her, missionary, like the boring fuck I was
>Keep in mind I was way too long to fit the entirety of my cock inside of her.
>Trust me I tried..
>Anyway, while fucking her we made out
>Getting way too into it
>Start thrusting even harder and trying to go further into her.
>"Anon, you're too rough slow down"
>Slow down for a sec, she was right that must have hurt.
>Too bad making out makes me diamonds.
>Thrusting hard again.
>"Anon, softer please!"
Nope.jpg
>Continue breaking this small creatures insides.
>She sucks on my tongue and doesn't let go.
>I'm really hurting her at this point but damn does it feel nice.
>Suction doesn't let up, in fact she does it harder.
>Feel something in my tongue snap.
>It was the tendon at the bottom.
>Blood fills my mouth.
>Blood fills her mouth.
>Jump out of her and out of bed with my hands clasped on my face.
>Run to the bathroom to look in the mirror.
>Bloodface
>I expected this.
I think I broke up with her a couple weeks later. Sad but true. She was a terrible girlfriend, I was really nice to her... When I wasn't ruining her pussy.
>>711988382
>you've never had sex have you?
>>712011785
Yeah all that natural lubricant the asshole produces sure does the job
>>711981058
wut
>>712012015
So wait, did she bite you hard enough to draw blood? Or was she clamped on to you, and you kept moving, and ripped something?
>>711983544
Damn lol
>>711991266
KEK
>>711978988
Checked and wtf'd
>>711978209
thats a cute story grats bro
>>711982584
Another cute story. I like this thread
>>712007156
Wrong
>this weekend
>got a bootycall from a girl I met partying last month
>at her place, watching seinfeld
>starts making out
>shes got really bad breath
>bad at making out
>just lays there, doesn't seem to be interested
>go down on her to make her more into it
>smells like shit
>ask her to bend over on her knees
>even bad in doggy
>losing my boner
>"must be because i'm so tired"
>go to sleep separately, say goodbye next morning
>>711975814
>Calling forth ancestral spirits to help me fucking nut.
>>711985535
that's why that call it Smash Bros? Because instead of smashing a chick, you and your bro smash those fucking buttons on the gamecube controller.
>>711982584
Godspeed you beautiful son of a bitch, godspeed.
>be me, 19
>bf has been asking about anal
>super persistent in a nonchalant kind of way
>i'm not so eager to try
>our one year anniversary is coming up, booked a hotel for the weekend so we can be alone
>want to do something extra special
>figure he already got my virginity, why not give him my anal virginity too?
>at least try it once, and if i hate it, never again
1/6
>>711976186
>SeXP
My sides.
>>711978209
LMAO 8 years later damn
>>712013171
contd
fast forward to anniversary
>we're in the hotel and things are heating up
>he's way too excited, ready to fuck already
>"i want you to fuck my ass this time"
>he's diamonds
>suddenly feel much better about my decision
>i flip over while he gets ready
>wants to go in raw
>hey, why not? might be the only chance he ever gets
>he lubes up real good
>gets in position and starts pushing himself inside me very slowly
>i appreciate the caution but holy fuck
>this fucking hurts
>i figure it's like vaginal
>hurts at first but worth it
>i want to go ahead and get the pain over
>"ram it in"
>he somehow manages to get even harder
>doesn't miss a fucking beat
>slams his cock inside my asshole with no mercy
>i'm in literal tears, clawing at the bedsheets
>>712013372
contd
>he thinks my sobbing is moaning and it fuels him
>he starts pumping away like there's no tomorrow
>i want to die
>but i'm not a little bitch
>we've come this far, might as well finish it
>i can feel my ass cheeks getting wet
>ohshit.jpg
>i'm bleeding
>asshole is literally ripped
>panic and start screaming for him to stop
>"i'm bleeding oh god"
>he's worried af
>pulls out
>dead silent
>"is it bad?"
>i'm too scared to look for myself
>no answer
>i turn to look at him
>he's just staring at his dick with the widest eyes
>i look too
>literallyohshit.wav
>fucking mortified
>run to the bathroom to clean up
>>712007308
The killing of those men was actually about disobedience to God. Sexual activity outside of marriage is generally considered a sin because it incites lust.
>>712013529
contd
>he comes in after i get in the shower to clean himself up
>he's super chill now, already laughing about it
>i hate everything
>i don't know what hurts worse, my pride or my asshole
>thankfully he was really cool about it
>we spend the rest of the weekend playing games, no sex
>eventually have anal successfully
>stay together for three more years
>never mention it again
>>712013667
Not sure if you a girl or what but that does remind me of some shit
>>712005734
When we did manage to make love she was super tight we wern't sure if I was hard enough but we eventually figured it out I had to finger her, about 4 fingers at a time so that I could fit my dick into her.
>>712007866
Nice Dubs
if this story's true, i hope you die.
if it's false and you need validation from randoms on an internet board, i also hope you die.
>>712012394
She was kind of biting kind of sucking on my tongue, but hard enough that it ripped at the tendon. Sucked. Literally.
My tongue was never the same.
Slight lisp forever.
>>712006955
>Checked
And I'm sorry anon, that sucks.
>hook up with cute girl on OKC
>name's melissa
>talk a bit
>take her out to a local chinese joint
>asks if i wanna come back to her place
>fuckyeah.jpg
>we go up to her room, she lives with a roommate and her brother
>we turn on LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring
>start making out eventually
>hand's down her shorts, curling a finger inside of her slowly
>she grabs my dick
>her eyes go wide
>she kinda shuffles her hand down the length and back up
>she stops me
>starts crying
>her ex boyfriend Jordan had a tiny dick
>she's now crying harder since she's thinking of him
>is still stroking my cock for some reason
>insanely turned on at this point
>cum all over her hand
>she asks me to leave
I fucking. What.
>>711975155
>Not sure if you a girl or what
I am.
>>712014386
lmfao
God damn I love this thread
>>712014448
If we weren't on 4chan I would ask you some details for sure
>Pic unrelated
>>712009873
Check dubs
>>711985535
you did the right thing anon. proud of you
>>712010333
its tinder, the hook up app, you use it if you are looking to fuck.
>>711980052
Persistence, maybe you're not seductive enough.
>>712004322
>dyxked myself in the ass with dildo
>no shit on my dick
>dildo
>dick
>no shit
No shit, Anon. Dildo is not = Your dick
>>712012987
Theres a fine line between awkward and disgusting
>>712014386
Actually laughed, well done.
>>712014386
I laughed
>>711995327
you should have banged the mom. or rape her
>>711980052
I guess you were a rebound
>>712016023
>>712015788
I still get a boner when I hear the song that plays when the Ringwraiths are hunting Frodo. Which is pretty fucked up, I guess.
>>712010333
it's fucking tinder, not okc, not eharmony. it's an app for people that want to fuck. that's why it's just pictures and a chat.
tl;dr you don't look for "boyfriends" on tinder. it's for fucking.
>was fucking my gf one night on the floor (I live with parent and they were home, and my bed squeaks like a sonofabitch)
>I had her laying on top of me, with one of her legs pulled up to her chest, hard to describe
>was fucking in this position for a good five minutes
>she starts to get really into it
>start fucking her real hard
>she's about to cum, and a good one, I can tell
>suddenly she farts, not a tiny one but a solid audible one for like a solid second.
>she freezes and just has a look of shock and horror on her face
>start laughing my ass off while still inside her
>she gets off as I'm still losing my shit laughing real hard
>she's embarrassed as fuck but also mad that I think it's so funny
>i don't give a fuck
>we stopped there because the moment is gone
>go back at it 10 mins later and finish
>when we finish she looks at me and says "we NEVER speak about this, this DIDNT happen. If you ever bring this up again, I'll just start over with a new person"
>teased her about it occasionally, she would get ultra butt hurt when I did.
>many keks were had
>>711991266
I was waiting for this post while scrolling.
Thank you anon.
>>711977126
hey its geg
>>711990822
Pics of mom
bumparoo
>>712011009
That's cute as fuck dude lol
>>711977201
I posted this literally hours ago. How the fuck is this thread still active? 404 this garbage already
>>711978209
>be me 18
>gf 16
>always watch movies together in basement
>always led to fooling around
>gf mom is somewhat hesitant on leaving us unattended for long periods of time
>getting shlopped like a dog on peanut butter
>mom walks in flips on light
>"OH, sorry."
>proceeds to go upstairs
>later a very awkward conversation happened.
Her dad never cared
>>712018038
No
>The Spice Is Life
Ok I got one thats pretty good desu
>be me 11 years
>on trip with parents with car driving across europe n shit
>parents friend brings his family,cute blonde blue eyed daughter, 11 yrs too
>call her Blondie
>pretty interested.jpeg but maybe she is not
>ffw few weeks
>parents decide to give us a room deciding to save money on room rent
>bring my own bed cuz "IM NOT GON SLEP WITH GIRL IN A SINGLE BED"
>pretty shit motel desu, a cockroach comes out every night and the girl screams making me wake up
>get up, squish it with a sandal, get back to sleep
>this goes on for two days
>third day she says hey anon do you like me?
>lolno
>she starts fucking crying
>"why do boys that i like dont like me, but boys that i dont like like me"
>Ok ok i like you just dont cry pls
>she gets silent, dead fucking silent
>starts crawling towards me
>get on my bed
>starts kissing me
>wtf feels breedy good desu
>hey anon want to do the real thing?
>what real thing
>sex
>ah.. sure
cont
>>71201033
This thread is still alive? Fuck.
She was sending me nudes saying that she wants to fuck and all that. It just didn't make sense. Maybe I'm just ugly.
>>712019641
>wait blondie what if it gets stuck in you and your father comes in
>oh you are right, lets try with underwear for now
>she gets on top of me jumping up and down
>feel nothing
>ok anon lets try without underwear
>breety scared but ok blondie
>starts jumping on top of me
>cant remember if I felt anything
>she says " i think we are putting it not in the right place "
>completely lose interest
>turn around
>go to sleep
>MFW now I realise that I cant remember if something happened or not
>ffw morning
>anon give me good morning kiss
>cringe, ok
>most awkward breakfeast with parents
>her dad started calling me his son-in-law after that night
>didnt knew what that meant
>later that day, hanging at construction site
>anon i dont like you anymore
>wtflol
>didnt had a single sexual experience since, im 19
>mfw i realise that im not sure if im a virgin or not
>>711992371
looks like the gulf coast
>>712008301
underrated post
>>712020140
>not sure if i'm a virgin or not
kek
>be me
> come back to homeland after a nice trip with buds
> having a night with friends, this girl I don't know shows up
> at a moment she's being annoying so I playfully scold her
> we dont talk again for some time
> fastforward to the bar, am drunk>
> she pays drink to another frien, I come and jokingly ask why I'm not invited
> she actually feels bad and pays me a drink to drink with her
> we chat for 3 mins, I go with other friends
> fastforward next bar, am close to wasted, and I'd like to smoke
> find this girl and make this retarded cute/cat look and ask kindly for a cigarette
> she gives and we go to smoke
> I leave here in smoking room
> 15 mins after she finds me
> "anon your friend wants to leave"
> go to say bye to friend, she's right behind me
> friends leave, I turn around
> "anon, can I do this"
> she just kisses me wildly in the middle of the bar>
> tongue and shit
> wasted me goes straight for inside her panties
> "too soon anon" but she still is wild
> fastforward to a friend's place
cont
>>711975155
The most awkward sexual experience right here
>Be me about to fuck gf with my amd a dildo at same time
>She goes to bathroom to get ready for some double penetration
>Im horny as fuck pacing back and forth with this dildo just sitting on the floor
>With 5mins going by i continue my pacing
>At one point I trip
>Oh shit son
>Swear my asshole just eats this 8inch dildo and balls
>I sit there with the dildo no where to be seen but definitely can feel it
>Girlfriend comes out asks where it is
>No fucking idea bitch lets fuck
>After blowing a load and after she left
>Take biggest shit with this 8inch dildo flying out with about another 8 inch shit log to back this dildo up like a wingman
>Still have the dildo to this day
>>712020818
> we joke that I will sleep on the couch and that she can go sleep on the floor
> sheobviouslywont.jpg
> we go at it on the sofa
> I reach for the sole condom I still have with me
> she is wasted too, and hugs me as I try to put the stuff on
> the condom falls, cant find it
> she REALLY HORNY and keep stroking muh dong
> "dont worry anon, am nurse, I get tested every 3 months"
> amIabouttodothis.png
> hardon disappear I am still torn
> she whispers to my ear "don't think about it, I want you, I want you now"
> mind blank
> we fuck like teenagers on crack
> cum in her pussy
> we relax and chill>
> she starts getting horny again
> fuck again w/o condom
> she is actually nice to fuck, active and trying to get pleasure
> we came both
> sleep for 1 hour
> she wakes me up by stroking me
> we start fucking her on top
> suddenly she goes on y side, doggy style
> she says "now anon, I want you to fuck me hard, really hard" with an extremly slutty voice
> mind goes berserk, satan guides my cock for the next 30 mins of pussy destruction
> REEE like scream as I came again in her pussy
> we're both exhausterd and fall asleep
cont
>>712014265
woohoo, you seem to be female
yep, it's true. sad, but true. it would be nice for you to learn that she was unable to quit our veru abusive relationships even after that, and eventually we were a couple again. I've ruined her. I fucked her, humiliated her, cheated on her, and it was never enough to shoo her away from me. Only when I'am turned out to be an addict for real did she left me. I've spent a year in rehab and got out and guess what I did in the very first month of my freedom?
I came to visit her and...
I fucked her in the mouth!
Turns out that I made a real whore out of that girl.
>YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH.JPG
Ю
>>711981386
>>dad runs off to find his son
>>finds son fucking a girl in his room
>>drops his beer again
>>runs out to the camper to escape the fuckfest in his own home
>>two random kids fucking in the camper
>>drops his beer again
>>breaks down into tears
This is a story my friend had told me back when we were in high school.
>be my friend
>go to boyfriend's house to watch a movie with his family
>sitting next to boyfriend under a blanket on the couch
>his mom is sitting on the other part of the couch (it was one of those L couches)
>family decided to watch Narnia
>boyfriend is obviously over the whole movie bullshit and wants to do something else
>grabs my hand and pulls it to his crotch
>I start rubbing his cock through his pants
>he unzips his pants and pulls out his cock
>I start playing with the head, I don't want to make it obvious that I'm giving him a handy
>apparently just playing with the head was enough because the climax of the movie was also the climax of my boyfriend
>not knowing what to do I naturally try to block it with my hand and push it back it
>obviously this was not a solution
>cum is everywhere, credits are rolling
>boyfriend's mom says "wow, wasn't that a great movie guys?"
>boyfriend responds with "yeah it sure was"
>not knowing what to do with the cum I realize I only have one option at this point
>start scooping it into my jacket pocket
>we get up, mom never suspected a thing, but my jacket pocket is now a cum dumpster
>mfw my dad did the laundry back then
>mfw it would be weird to come home and just wash the jacket
>mfw I have to wear it to school the next day because it was the only one I had at the time
>mfw
>>712020818
YEs
>>712021208
> somwhere near 7am
> I feel like fucking again
> fingering wakes her up, she asks me to go for missionary
> going at it for some time
> suddenly here steps noise in the room
> situation : we are fucking on my friends' sofa since 2 am, in their living room
> they are 2 guys that need to go to work for 8am
> we stop, I'm in her, we cover ourselve with sheets
> friend seems he did not hear us
> he goes to their kitchen, we hear him preparing breakfast
> I look at her, she is clueless
> I whisper her
> "oh, but we are not going to stop now, are we ?"
> start moving slowly
> "anon, wait I'm ..."
> pound her suddenly, she enjoys a lot
> hear my friend leaving while she is screaming under serious pounding
> I came, we fall asleep again
> woke up in the afternoon, fuck a last time (god I was fucking horny)
> say goodbye
> look at my phone
> friend sent me a text
> "you naughty boy ,) "
One of the best nights I had. Met this girl two times more. Last time she got back with her bf, but we met in a bar. The night finished at her home, we fucked on their sofa and bed, and had a cuddle/chat sesssion on the morning that was interrupted cuz her bf was coming back on short notice. While it could not have been a serious relationship, she was super fun and a blast to fuck.
>>712021578
Pocket-O-Cum
>>711985535
Have you considered that maybe you couldnt get hard because you wanna smash your bro?
>>712002904
The potato face is the problem here anon
>>711983429
Another curious opposite. My wife has post-orgasmic shame. You know like when you jack off and you feel bad about it? So she mostly just wants me to be selfish.
>But I'm not.
>Sometimes I even get her off and then don't let her return the favor. And she gets furious.
>>711975814
>calling forth ancestral spirits to help me fucking nut
Finally someone understands my plight
>>711989868
Eh, I've had worse than my first time.
>first time, high school
>dating girl for couple weeks, 8.5/10
>skip school. Stay at my house while parents are out
>foreplay for an hour or so
>expecting glorious dick magic to happen inside a pussy
>stick it in, raw.
>eh... its tightish, soft, wet, but...
>not as tight as hand. Not as tingly as I had expected
>pump for 10-15min. Lose all sensation
>change position. Ah there it is.
>eh, lost it again. Still hard though
...
>proceed to fuck for literally 9 hours (with some breathers)
>still have not nutted
>girl is FURIOUSLY DETERMINED
>in retrospect, possibly insulted?
>finally succeed
>time to take her home
>mom has been home for probably 4 hours
>notifies me like a year later that my bed hits the wall when I have girls over and she can hear it from the living room
Lesson to ye virgins. If you masturbate sufficiently, you will train your dick to expect something more like a hand than a pussy actually is.
Luckily I've learned what works for me in a pussy now (thrusting up into the wall rather than in towards the cervix), but I gotta make it relatively quick or I get bored and flaccid (or hurt my back like the middle aged fucker I am).
>nb4 fag
I'd consider it but I hate feces and teeth near my dick. So its pussy or nothing for me.
>>711976359
>>711976654
yeah but fuck people who post photos that don't look anything like themselves. they know what they're doing
>>711985535
everyones missing the point
playing smash bro is a metaphor for him turning the action into gay stuff with his buddy. they "played smash bros" and the girl got upset cause she wanted some and left.
decent use of metaphor, anon.
>>711976186
>>711976186
SeXP
>>711977126
.... and you didnt fuck her ... because...??
>>712010333
I don't even use tinder and I know its for hookups. Get the Fuck off if you aren't looking to fuck
>>711977126
>play with me
Sounds like one of those toys that make sounds if you press them
>>712022629
>and she gets furious
kek
>>711975155
>Be 17
>Rock up to an open house party with no intention of getting laid or talking to girls, just went there to get hammered
>Start talking to this girl & hit it off real well
>Conversation slowly steers towards relationships and whether or not we were single
>Conversation quickly turns to sex
>Instant boner
>Make out with the girl for about 10 minutes
>Decide to take it upstairs
>Continue making out for a few more mins before she grabs my cock
>Pulls my cock out of my pants and starts stroking it
>Gets on top of me and dry fucks me for a moment before we get up and go inside the bathroom
>She sits on top of the sink and I start eating her out
>She hadnt shaved and I could feel her muff on all over my lips
>Asks me if I have coundom
>nope.jpeg
>Look of slight dissapointment on her face, but she quickly gets over it and sits me down on the bathtub
>Pulls my pants down completely and starts sucking on my cock
>She uses lots of tongue action around the head
>feelsgoodmayne
>This look of terror hits her face
>She stops
>She peels back my foreskin completely
>She sniffs my cock
>Hesitantly starts sucking my cock again for a brief moment before she stops again
>Gets up and walks to the toilet
>Starts spitting like a fucking sprinkler
>Realize I hadnt washed my dick in bout 3 days
>Realize there must have been a clusterfuck of dickcheese under my foreskin
>Realize this poor 8/10 just ate all my dickcheese
>She leaves the bathroom and the party
>Cold replies to all my texts and facebook messages
>>711976775
How fucking nice is it that someone posts sauce and you don't have to ask. Be grateful for people like this anon
>>711978209
Things that never happened
>>712010333
and here's the cuck
>>711981003
>mfw when
>Be me 18
>Be virgin
>Go on tinder and match with a pretty attractive 8/10 blonde girl with big tits, let's call her Sarah
>Flirt a lot and tell her to come over and stay the night cause my parents were away for the weekend
>She agrees
>Meet her at my local train station and go back to mine
>She looks even better in person
>We get to mine and turn a movie on and cuddle on the couch
>We flirt and start making out
>She's a good kisser and is very confident
>Pulls my dick out blows me for a while
>She gets out of her dress and spreads her legs
>I lick her out for a while, best pussy i've ever seen
>Perky D-cup tits with nice nipples
>MFW I know ill never get a girl this hot again
>She tells me to fuck, so I start
>Dick slips out and go to put it back in, accidentally push it against her asshole
>She says "Next time"
>Almost nut there and then
>Keep fucking her and nut on her belly, she runs her finger through it and licks it clean
>We clean up and cuddle naked for the rest of the night and fuck again when we get into bed
>We keep chatting and we get along really well
>We have a lot in common, actually considering a relationship with her
>She says she wants to fuck me when im in a suit
>I reply she can cause I have my uncle's wedding the next weekend, and I'll pick her up after
>She says she cant cant cause she has her mums wedding that weekend
Fast forward a week
>Get to the wedding
>Find my seat
>Ceremony starts
>And who the fuck is the maid of honour...Sarah
>Turns out she's my new auntie's daughter
>We have awkward eye contact for the entire wedding
>I now see her every christmas and every family event, and we havent said more than "Hi how are you" in 3 years
>go on tinder, swiping right to everyone
> TFW never gets a match
>>711975155
>be me, 20
>meet 30 year old woman with big tits in bar
>she's hot as fuck, but kind of shy
>get her number
>ask her out
>she and i and a couple of friends drive to the city to go to a club
>she has to be home by two
>still lives with mom
>about 1AM
>we're driving out of the parking lot
>drunk driver smashes into the side of our car
>driver has whiplash and she got a black eye
>we get a cab back to my place
>we can still get her home before 2:30 if we hurry
>"anon, i can't go home like this"
>she spends the night
>she's got a pretty good shiner
>plus it was our first date
>i figure i'm not getting laid
>she asks me why i'm not making a move
>oh, ok
>we fuck
>she's wincing in pain
>ask her if she's OK
>get the go ahead
>dump my splooj in her
>pull out
>blood everywhere
>"looks like your period started"
>"no, it's not due for a couple of weeks"
>"are you a virgin?!?"
>"not anymore"
to look at her you'd never have known she was a virgin
>>711981003
hows life with no face anon
>be me, 16
>18 year old cousin
>we're white, just wait until that's relevant
>he has 18 year old fiancee, black
>cousin is 10/10 push over, just wants to be accepted
>fucking kek . Jpeg
>"so you and your girl into freaky shit or what?"
>through enough drunken prodding, he passes off some b.s. threescore story
>I joke and ask "will she be down for it now?"
>this good goofy motherfucker seriously says yes
>I try to reassure him, just to make sure
>mfw going to mix the paint
>perkele
>he goes in, talks her into it or someshit
>it's cool anon, let's smash
>kek
>drunk, so I really don't care at this point
>he pushes her down playfully and starts fingering her
>just watch in a drunken stooper, never had this bullshit happen before
>he goes to the bathroom, pats me on the back
>see box of condoms, she is pant less at this point infront of me
>put on condom, we get into it in missionary
>this isn't so bad
>he comes in, suggests she rides me, he sits down by the door
>he doesn't join in
>he is giving me tips on how to bang his girl, she is going on with it etc
>"how big is he? "
>"about as big as you"
>some bullshit banter
>at one point, tried to go in anak
>the sphincter patrol reminds me, exit only
>no slipping in there
>go through life after that night, not knowing I accidently played into cucking my cousin until typing this story out
>just thought she wasn't all that into a actual threesome but wanted us separate
>never dawned on me they never fucked in front of me or anything
>mfw
>>712026290
To avoid b& I'm 19 now, this was 3 years ago.
>>712022629
It happens to me too. When she's done, she's done. As I love foreplay and last at least half an hour screwing, she spend the whole time fighting against it ant trying not to cum. And I love it. Sometimes I don't get to nut, but I don't really care
>>712006948
Pics you dick.
You know the rules
>>712008301
>>711978988
awesome
>>712010133
Quads killed the gigga nigga
>>712004594
You're thinking of your dad's birthday party
WWII soldiers had pussy a plenty because when the going gets tough all women become whores
>>712021402
I'm female but I have a bigger fucking dick than you
