I'm curious... What is the worst sexual experience you've had?
Example: Banged a whale, accidently farted during oral, etc.
>Lose virginity to a 6/10
>We make out in front seat of the car
>She recommends we get in the back seat
>She lays down on back seat.
>Whip out dick while she pulls up skirt and takes off panties
>Horrible smell fills the car
>She acts oblivious
>Smells like a rotting corpse
>Decides to put the dick in because I don't want to be a virgin
>Smell gets worse
>Take her home.
>Reach in pants and grabs dick, then smells hand
>Pulls off to the side of the road and vomits
That experience messed me up. I can never go down on a girl because of that.
Banging hot chick with lube, skin kept making fart sounds, constant turn off we kept looking back at each other shrugging our shoulders and pushing on. 2 hours of lame sex later I fakes an orgasm on her face. it worked. she went home
>banging this teen
>big booty
>tiny waist
>im hittinf it from the back and get wiff of ass
>she didnt wipe
>latex smell mixed with ass
>cant stop my self from sniffing it.. like watching a teain rekt
>i use my willpower to cum as fast as possible
> that was the first time I ever had sex for under 4 hours, it was like 2 mins
>dump her stank booty
> Ex girlfriend was about to suck my dick
> be me super excited
> peed a little doubt before she put it in her mouth
She laughed about it and the mood was gone but other than that she was pretty chill about it
Anything interesting happened to you today, anon?
>>711662264
> first time
> left boxers on
> haven't shaved in awhile
> couldn't get hard, was too nervous
> just kept viciously jerk in it and trying to stick it in in time
> couldn't do it
> laughed and just accepted handy
> convinced her to give blowjob, she spit it onto my blankets
> afterwards she got picked up and told everyone she basically got raped
>>711662264
REPLY TO THIS AND YOU WILL HAVE A GIRLFRIEND BY TOMORROW
>>711663622
Nah kroger keeps giving me pound and pounds of turkey cheap. You see a fucking bird bigger then your fucking waist cheaper then noodles you buy that fucking thing. Its cheap meat carcass.
So shopping, it's been peaceful well as much as it gets.
>>711662753
did you spit on her face of something? How do you fake a facial?
>>711663983
> afterwards she got picked up and told everyone she basically got raped
this is happening way to often
Childhood crush saved herself for me. I broke her cherry. She bled everywhere and we freaked out. Never got in more than half in inch. Then she broke it off with me because my cousin said I raped her.
>meet up with girl I haven't seen for a year
>never saw each other romantically before but texting and distance made it happen
>go to gym together beforehand to look impressive, swim and sauna together for that in public touching
>she says she wants to shower at my hotel instead of the gym
>go to hotel room
>she gets naked
>8/10 from the other side of the room
>up close she has nipple hair
>armpit hair starting to grow back
>turn her over
>hairy asscrack
>literally could not cum from the sight of her
>pretend to cum
>tell her to shower
>say I'll meet her at her car in 10 minutes
>stay in room and avoid her messages
>>711665101
>>711665101
Also wondering this
>>711662264
Sex with my boyfriends mum, Part 1: a fistful of regret.
My boyfriend drank too much and went to bed early. I decided to sleep on the couch. Then I heard sobbing upstairs and saw his mother sniffling and rolling a joint. We were both very drunk and she asked me to follow her out to the balcony. We had a long talk about my bf/her son, how he's been doing so well lately, about my negative influence(smoking pot but she does too!). Moments later she kissed me. I kissed her back. She led me to her room where she went down on me. My bf had a beard so it was a really different feeling and I was kinda disappointed. Then I tried to finger her. it took all my fingers, and I remembered she had two kids.Jesus christ I never want kids ever.
Somewhere between her wanting me to plough her with a strap on and me deciding I was too drunk, I fell asleep. My bf walked past in the morning, but didn't check the room. I began to sneak back downstairs while he was smoking on the balcony. He can never know about this, I thought. He caught me. He didn't talk to me all day. Then that night next to the fire he said "I love you". We got drunk again and I blew him. I still don't think he understands what happened, haha.
>>711665101
No I might have a heart. You are the real devil tonight keep that up. No we had fun it was great did it again the next day so what ever.
>Girls in my dorm bring a few friends from home
>Get a message from a girl saying her friend is looking for sex and fancies me
>Laugh it off because ehh she ain't my type
>Few hours into the night
>Everyone's drunk
>Friend who recently broke up with gf ends up talking to girl lookin for my D
>They both leave for a about 10 minutes
>I send him many texts telling him that this is not the path to recovery as he's a bit shaken up by being dumped
>She comes back
>He stays in his room the rest of the night
>Texts me back saying he stopped things before much happened because he didn't feel okay with it
>She starts getting flirty with me
>Booze and dick takes over as I think "hey, she's pretty cute"
>Fast forward to us sitting outside sharing a smoke
>Start making out
>FF again to my room
>Undressing and she says "well, you're definitely more well equipped than your friend"
>Feelsgoodman
>She has a fuzzy rug which doesn't bother me
>Skip to doggy
>Ohgod.jpg
>Her butt crack/taint is just sealed with coarse, dark hair
>Didn't even look like normal pubes. was straight, thick, dark
>Thought to myself that I need a machete to hack away at this stuff to find her vag
>Try very hard not to laugh
>Already in too deep so I finish as fast as possible
>She leaves me room
>I drink more in hopes to forget about what I've seen/done
My friends and I now joke about it but my god.
When I fucked your mother bl
>>711662264
Farted during oral then banged a whale.
nothing terrible actually. a friend got farted on by a hot chick during doggie once, he said it was the worst smell imaginable. damaged him psychologically (sexually).
a chick I knew snarfed a dudes sperm out of her nose (no big deal)
I've run into hard poo with my fingers and broner b4, when I've been fingering and buttfucking chicks. also my first time it was dark, and I ate puss -- turned on the lights afterward and I was covered in blood, she'd just started her period all over my face.
>>711665966
Part 2?
Was cheating on girlfriend, banging large land whale, girlfriend calls in the middle of a legendary titty fuck, land whale gives me gonorrhea, moral of the story don't be drawn in by a fat bitch who bring's pizza pot and pussy
Met a post-op tranny on dating site, single since forever so I drove hours to see her. She kept making cat noises at random, took me shopping but turned out that she was stealing. Back in her flat she gave me some sort of sedative (benzo I think) and the rest is a blur, I woke up tied to a radiator with the word "meltdown" written on my stomach. I have a vague recollection of going down on her "vagina". Needless to say left the next day and blocked her.
was licking a hot chicks butthole, went in a little too deep and got a tiny piece of poo on my tongue
tasted tart.
I lost my virginity to a random guy I met in a bar my friends let me leave with this stranger we go to his apartment pool bathroom an fuck. Then we fucked in his dad's car after.
The worst part he tried anal with just his spit an a quick prayer.
>>711662487
Did you catch anything?
This one time I was at a party thing an i was half dead piss drunk and this guy put his dick in my mouth then almost raped me but a week later I fucked him in my backseat in a Chinese super markets parking lot
>>711670153
gonorrhea and the worst urinary tract infection + yeast infection ever
>>711670387
Feel your pain...
>>711670368
show your butt hole and vag
>>711669999
your dub-dub-quads have been witnessed
sorry about your bad sex.
>>711670449
my penis smelled like a feces-filled rectum for about 1 month. worst experience of my life.
Shagged a fat lass that had the hairiest fanny ever. Also had a girlfriend who shagged like a mattress on valium, was like she was dead... Ugh... Every other girl was fine, and my magic number is 30
>>711669293
>her
>>711670608
second
>>711670509
Disgusting did you see that bitch ever again?
Kind of my best and worst at the same time:
>Have two older brothers
>Go to lots of parties with them
>Was at said party, one of my Brothers old school-friends about 3 years older than me (i was 17-18) was looking at me all night
>Kinda chubby, zero tits, literally zero
>slips me her number at the end of the night and says i should come hang out.
>righto
>texted her a few days later
>just went over at night, didn't tell anyone about it because she was pretty average
>turns out shes a freak, loved sucking my dick and being pounded raw.
>Asked me to come in her every time
>Did this a handful of times just random NSA texts to come over, over a couple of years, even when i had other long term girlfriends
>Got a text one night with a picture of fake-tits she jsut had put in
>looks good
>fuck it, told my GF i was working all night, went over and pounded her bareback, came home late and GF sucked my dick. \\
feel super bad about some of it but she was just so filthy
I went over to this guy's house while his girlfriend wasnt home an i sucked his dick while watching stranger things but his girlfriend texted him that she was gonna be home soon so we drive to an elementary school parking lot at 4am an i let him fuck me doggy in my pulled down backseat of my car. (Same car I fucked a rapist in lmaoooo)
>>711670694
no, a friend did - she was junked out on heroin
>>711670758
Yeah kinda what I expected
Seriously dude you should have run
>>711670806
I should probably get tested for hiv, but I'm too scared to
>>711670743
Tell me more about that rapist story
Hair ball
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SayTCWttywU
>>711670851
Gotta do it dude, trust me i sat with gonorrhea for 5 months before I knew i had it
>>711670851
Better know it now so you can get medication
>>711669241
fuck this is legendary anon,
I must congratulate you and say wow what a great story I learned so much...
bravo good sir godspeed..
>>711669293
>>711671086
>No.711670883
Salute
>>711670883
I was basically black out drunk on the floor an he got on top of my an shoved his dick in my mouth he only stopped cause my friend pushed him off me but the rest of the night he kept trying to grab me an finger me through me clothes lol
Fucked my m8s ex she gave horrible head had a hairy ass that smelled and im pretty sure i poopped her cherry while fingering her smh worst experience
>>711669999
you must show tits or gtfo
>>711662264
I accidentally a jello pudding pop.
>went home with a cute guy at a bar
>both of us were shitfaced
>he starts complaining about his ex girlfriend while drinking vodka out of the bottle
>lays on the bed like a dead fish during sex
>wouldn't even kiss me
>went on for like 20 minutes before I put a stop to it
>tried to buy me breakfast the next morning
>>711671179
>He raped me because I was drunk
Fuck off you SJW
>>711671285
rapist.
>ayy
You know, it's kind of funny reading these as I'm almost jealous I never got to have any good/bad sex with randos stories as I've only had sex with one person in my life.
My wife and I have been sole partners and we lost our virginities together so our gauge of what is good and bad is a bit different. We've had bad/awkward sex before, sure, but in general our view on our sex is kind of like pizza.
Pizza is either good or fucking amazing.
I think our absolute worst sex story though was a time when we both had the flu together.
>Flu dad enough that we kept a plastic tarp over the bed.
>Usually when we're not feeling well, like stressed or something we just have sex to take our minds of things.
>We decide maybe sex will help our situation so we try it.
>She's riding me because she's getting over her flu more than I am, so she has more energy. >We're nauseous but hey, feels great.
>Getting close to cumming, but nausea is increasing with shaking
>I'm about to cum, but god damn it do I feel sick
>I cum, hugging her as she sits on top of me
>Before I finish cumming I vomit runt onto her chest and tummy
>She cums and vomits right onto my head
>we roll off of each-other, feeling both relieved and horrible
>We leave the bed and shower without saying anything to each other for a long while.
>Finally silence is broken by hysterical, uncontrollable laughter
>Fall asleep afterwords and never speak of the event again
>>711671397
S'all good i fucked him a week later backseat of my car fam lmaoooo
>>711671599
Newfag
>>711662264
Doing anal for the first time with my ex and she shits all over my cock and legs, the shit coupled with the lube (I probably used too much) turned it into a pure liquid and it actually covered my bottom half. I never felt the same about her again tbh
>>711671635
TOPKEK
>>711671632
Hell yeah
>>711671635
With you there friend
Analing my girlfriend (now wife) in prone position and she wants me to stop just as I'm starting to build up to release my jizz. Then she cries and we argue for ages.
Absolute worst was when I decided to be politically correct and discover if true beauty lay within. Yeah..... I fucked what we Aussies call a bush pig.
Fattish, plain, attention deprived and DTF. She could deep throat, cook and desperately wanted to gain acceptance by fucking.
I tried, I really did and I did her twice just to be sure, but..... I'm shallow.... I confirmed it. No piggies for me.
>Be me, 19
>Two weeks ago
>Go out to club on weekend with friends like usual
>Having good time, drink bottle of wine before leaving pre-drinks
>Get to the club dance, smoke, continue drinking
>All the usual shit
>Take 400mg of exctasy
>Couple hours into the high spot 5/10 who has had a crush on me for ages
>Would not bang sober
>She comes up and dances with me
>Grinding against me, trying to engage a kiss
>Obviously dtf
>Think "fuck it"
>Walk to hotel she was staying in
>Get in, strip off straight away
>Foreplay is good
>Penetration time
>limp.jpg
>Penis is like over cooked pasta
>Attempt to penetrate but it's like trying to pack a sleeping bag
>This goes on for an uncomfortable amount of time
>Mood is dying, starting to get awkward
>Lying on my back, she's on top of me, try to pull her forward
>Still drunk and high as shit
>I put my hands on her thighs and pull her forward
>Suddenly she keels over and rams her head into the wall
>mfw
>She cowers in her hands for ages while I sit not knowing what to do
>After what felt like an eternity she emerges from her hands to reveal a gigantic black eye
>ft. Huge swollen lump
>Sit in awkward silence as she panics
>Make joke about her explaining this to her parents
>Joke is poorly received
>Have to ask her where we are because I have no memory of how I got her
>Swiftly exit and go home
>>711671635
yeah that'll leave a mark.
I've had some poocidents too. Sometimes I feel like chicks get way into scat.
Shit, I've had several bad ones.
> Fucking a 31 year old married lady when I was 16
> Show up to throw a shot into her like I had many times before
> Do the deed and pull my clothes on and head home
> Get there and figure I'll wash my dick so I can go over to my gf's house for seconds
> My dick has this yellowish slime all over it and it smells like the inside of a hobos rotting asshole
> Jump in the shower and wash my dick like I'm trying to remove paint from an old car while holding my breath
> Never see her again
I don't know if she gangbanged a pack of wild monkeys before I came over or what, but it was nauseating and I avoided ever talking to her again after that.
>>711671800
Slow clap
>Tried to fun on fAce of chic
>pissed in her mouth
>>711671836
>>711671727
>>711671691
She thought I had cum and it was leaking out of her and I don't think she even fully realised what had happened, my dick smelt like shit for days
It was a normal blowjob and sudently she put my dick out his mouth and I came over my face
I...
I threw up on her face while doing missionary. Similar to when you run for a long while and feel like puking your guts.
>>711665397
Seems like a nice family
>>711671892
> my dick smelt like shit for days
Learn to wash. I've had shit on my dick more times than I can count and a soapy washcloth fixes it in seconds with no lingering smells.
>indian bitch with a fat ass and perky tits walks by
>I get her attention and flirt with her and proceed to get her number
>hit her up probably a week later
>she comes over to my house and we smoke weed and get really drunk
>she just keeps staring at me shy so I just went over and kissed her and we started making out
>take her to my bed and fuck the shit out of her
>omgsomeofthebestpussyofmylifeever.jpg
>next day she wants more so I'm like fuck yes
>We met up again and I bend her over my couch
>the light is on this time so I get to see her pussy and ass pretty visibly..
>I then smell poop and the smell of rotten vomit and dead people
>her asshole had poop and toilet paper stuck in her asshole hairs as balled up dingle berries
>I somehow came because I held my breath and would try to breathe out of my mouth
>I told her to clean up and we would go have dinner and I would met her there after a shower
>she agreed and left
>I then scrubbed my dick in the shower for about 40 minutes and still felt nasty
>then told her to meet me at mcdonalds because lol and blocked her
>that fucking she whale nasty stinky indian poopy vagina was awful and I am ashamed of myself
>moral of my story never be deceived by a fat ass because everything is never perfect
god I have too many stories like this :[
I was sucking this guy off an he shoved his dick too far down my throat an i puked on his dick
>>711671892
yeah, you don't want to get poo on you. I've had poop dick from several women. some smelled much, much worse than others. but poop is never going to smell like candy.
>>711671967
You don't understand, I washed my dick 3 times that day until it was raw and it lingered. Only time could heal those wounds
>>711671987
Hug shhhh it'll be ok
>>711672039
What i am taking from this, men are better at taking it in the ass.
>>711662264
>be me
>18
>sneak into girlfriends house
>make the sex
>"knock knock knock"
>her dad walks in
>it's dark so he doesn't see me
>hide under the doona
>dick still balls deep in her vag
>he sits on her bed and starts talking to her
>what kind of weird fucking cunt father comes into his daughters room at 1am, sits on her bed, and starts having a conversation with her?
>he still hasn't found me
>as he keeps moving, my cock is getting more friction in his daughters cunt and I explode in her pussy
>no condom
>she feels it
>"WHAT THE FUCK?" she yells
>pulls off the covers
>her dad just looks at me whilst I've just finished filling his daughters pussy with my cum
>I say nothing
>he goes off
>I grab my shit and leave
>>711671987
Fat/chubby girls are the worst. Even when they try and be clean the skin rubbing together mixed with sweat and anything else is a recipe for disgustingness. A fucking fart can leave their ass crack smelling like something died covered in shit crawled in and made a nest. At least little skinny girls don't have any real folds and shit to get stanky, except their cunts.
>>711671812
exctasy is no good to make your peepee hard
>>711672043
Fuck, know what she ate? was it partly solid or all just piss out the ass?
>>711672043
Its okay anon I DO understand, the smell of nasty stank box should be forbidden and bitches should be forced to douche and clean their pussies everyday!!
>having hard sex with gf
>about to finish
>it'sabigone.jpeg
>pull out to cum on her face
>pull out RIGHT AS I'm cumming
>I look down cause I didn't want that shit landing in her
>by the good grace of god, I some how cum all over MY face
>literally all over my own face
>not a drop on her
>some landed on my mouth
>50 percent in my nose
I was fucking sneezing out cum for a solid ten minutes. not the worst, but holy fuck it was embarrassing.
:^(
>>711672150
It was literally fucking pure liquid, she said she'd cleaned up before hand but she's a fucking filthy liar
>>711672126
Oh i would not dare eat my land whales pussy i could smell it the moment she took off her pants, plus she worked in a pizza kitchen and had just got off work
>>711672182
I hate when girls give handjobs, they seem to always aim your dick at your face like they're trying to get you to plaster your own eyes. I shot so hard once it splattered all over my pillow and face, I was pissed.
>>711672187
always enema before anal
>>711671405
he initiated it, took my clothes off and everything. I think he was just really fucking bad at sex
>>711672163
Her gash smelt fine, probably the best tasting I've had wtf are you on about
>>711671850
How did you find that bitch in the first place?
>>711664120
Omg rly
>>711672272
I know, I'd told her to do it but she assured me that she was clean and had prepared that way before (wasn't her first time but the last guy had a tiny dick so I guess it makes sense)
>>711672227
I hooked up with an absolute whale from here once. Nice girl and was super cock hungry, but I wouldn't get my face anywhere near her holes. She was pretty boring to fuck, but eager enough that I'd dump a half dozen loads a day into her and not have to waste time with foreplay or kissing.
>>711672354
However, they eat dick like a fucking black hole.
>>711672338
Online. Many years ago the area I lived in had a lot of online parties where people would show up at someone's house and hang out. This lady took a liking to me for some reason and practically begged me to fuck her. So every time her husband was at work, she'll call me up and I'd oblige. I never kissed her if I could help it, but she was down for more than my retarded teenage brain could handle. She's probably dead from AIDS or something by now. She tried to message me months after the incident I described to tell me she was pregnant but pretty sure it wasn't mine.
>>711672126
I don't know man. There are some fat girls that can be pretty clean and have a nice smell to their sweat (I notice the smell is worse with non-whites but I can't tell if that's hygiene differences or genetic difference in smell)
I like the way a fat girl feels and the smell and feel of sweaty flesh is a big turn on for a freak like me. Sweaty pussy isn't as good a smell obviously, but if you get a girl who gets really wet easily, enough girl goo flowing and it washes the sweat smell right out, then you're left with that delicious buttered ale smell.
But, I'm a fatty fucker, so I'm probably biased and used to things, I dunno. Probably an acquired taste.
>>711667174
Fucking pronouns man
>>711672437
Not her. Couldn't suck dick properly if you held a gun to her head. Best head I've ever gotten has been from skinny girls who are desperate to please/looking for validation. Fat girls being good at it is a myth in my opinion.
>>711672039
But why do I still want to put my dick in there so bad anon.. why
>>711664120
But why?
>>711672486
I can find chubbies attractive, but unless they're straight out of the shower, I'm wary of any smells.
>>711671540
Relationship goals man frfr
Why am i out here fucking hoes when i could have that
>>711672565
I don't know. My pecker's been violated by chicks' butt-vomit too. and yet... I still wanna go right back up in there.
>>711672264
yeah it's always that, or that awkward "oh it's like a joystick controller" action.
that or I have shit luck with girls.
>>711672666
Maybe hidden treasure in their!
>>711672685
Plus they mostly suck at it. I can jerk my dick better than any girl can. Suck it or fuck it, those are things I can't do myself.
>>711672666
My new girlfriend wants to but she's afraid after that story lmao
>>711664120
Plz I need 1
>>711665397
Should've raped the cousin
>>711672716
I've dug around for years in chicks' asses. I've NEVER found treasure.
>>711672765
lel i'm sure she'll be fine, 'accidents' are rare
Virgin here, but to hell with those stories man...
Not the experience you want, but it's part of life right.
>>711672944
To be fair accidents for me have been 100% and the numbers don't lie /b/ro
>>711672973
I'm glad I had the experience, it's a great story at parties
>>711662487
Chances are she had a bit of broken tampon in her. That shit stinks and is gross.
>>711672997
damn.... really? I've gone for some looooong stretches with no hint of poodoo. maybe you're super hung, and you're up in the small intestines?
>>711671540
that is actually really cute anon. i hope you two the best.
>>711673024
True
>>711672634
>>711673337
Thanks guys.
It can be hard finding someone you can share even your most embarrassing moments with and only love them more afterwards, but trust me when I say its worth it.
>>711673073
Slightly related, but I remember this time forever ago when my wife and I where having sex on her period, because, well she gets horny and it relieves pain etc.
Anyways.
>She takes out her tampon
>We have surprisingly blood free and good sex
>She feels relieved and happy, but mentions it didn't feel like it normally did
>I go and clean up when I hear a gasp from the bedroom
>She tells me she thinks there's a second tampon in there
>turns out she had forgotten to take out the old one when she went to sleep the night before
>being groggy in the morning she just stuffed another one up there
>She needs me to examine her, so I spread her open and see the mashed up tampon deep inside her
>She expresses that this explains why shes felt so much extra pain and tightness in her pussy throughout the day, despite general period troubles
>she tries to get it out but can't reach it because her vagina is narrow and there's no longer a string to pull it out with
>I have to use my skinny skeleton fingers to dig it out of her and we just play it up all medical and shit to embarrass her more and play with her
The whole situation was actually pretty funny, just weird. She was so embarrassed, but I thought it was cute in a weird way. I dunno man. The moments you share and remember are weird.
>>711662264
>I was with my ex
>she's on top of me doing anal
>get's used to it and wanna switch position
>she lifts her butt and as my dicks come out she start shitting al over me.
>I'm covered in shit, she cries
>I somewhat manage to mantain my cool and go in the fucking shover while she cleans up the mess, crying.
>>711662264
>be 16/17
>start hooking up with 7-8/10 blonde
>she's horrible at everything
>one day throw a party
>fucking her doggie style in the bathroom.
>she keeps moving awkwardly
>go for the finish thrusts
>on the out stroke, she sorta stood up
>I slip against the pussy, and slam my tip into the sink
>kick her out
>years later she refuses to admit sleeping with me
>everyone called her out on her bullshit every time.
>she finally got fed up and moved to the south.
too lazy to green text this
dating a girl thats a notorious slut for weeks/months. she wont put out. dunno wtf is going on. she says she doesnt wanna ruin it and wants it to be special. this girl is a troll though as in likes to constantly be fucking around and talking shit. shes cute though so im like w/e
anyways we finally do it after weeks of hanging out and the whole thing feels like a troll. shes half assing the fuck out of it, at one point shes shoving a dirty sock in my face, and doesnt even take her pants all the way off. the whole lasted minutes cuz i had been blueballed for so long i just bust immediately. after that she doesnt wanna have sex anymore cuz she thinks im bad at it, and tells her friend, whos also my friend, everything. i later find out from a friend that he also fucked her (before me and her dated) and she always wanted sex. the whole thing pissed me off like crazy because it didnt even make sense. so i give her another chance. we go to coachella together. she wont put out at all in the tent the entire weekend. she keeps wanting to hang out with friends instead of any alone time together. after the fest I broke up with her over it and she was begging for me back. came to my house begging. wouldnt stop blowing me up. tried to get her friend to make me take her back. bitch was fucking wack and i hope noone ever has to go through this bullshit.
oh found out way later from her friend that she was doing tons of heroin at the time and had 0 sex drive. fuck heroin junkies
>>711662264
>Get hammered at friends party
>Fat ugly chick from some of my classes comes and sits next to me
>2/10 after a few drinks 6/10
>Beergoggles.jpg
>party quietens down, she's been talking with me for ages
>almost alone, she slips her hand down to my crotch
>close my eyes and pretend that it's someone else
>she unzips me and moves down for my dick
>starts to demonstrate awesome mouth technique
>I am impressed!
>She tells me that she likes the taste of cum
>I let her do her thing
>she's doing everything right, she must watch porn like an instructional video
>Getting ready to cum, inform the demon
>blast away for what seemed ages, she's still sucking
>achieve the orgasmic equivalent of nirvana
>she's licking my balls again and starts from the top once more
>Jesus!
>Go thru procedure once more
>second time still good, result not quite as mind-blowing but still in my top five
>The next week she tells everyone that I am b/f
>I deny all knowledge of incident
>girl becomes very insistent and I deny to her and everyone else that this happened
>fast forward 2 months, everyone thinks she's mentally ill, totally obsessed with me
>I complain that she follows me everywhere
>Dean summons us both, finally tells her to leave me alone and basically stop making up lies
>She leaves the college, moves to another state
>3 months later she an hero's
>Dean informs me in his office and tells me she was obviously disturbed etc
>FeelAbsolutelyNothing.webm
>>711662264
>worst sexual experience you've had?
I once came while putting the condom on.
here goes
>be 17
>call girl I lost virginity with over
>tell her it's just sex, no relationship
>fine
>she comes over
>reluctant at first
>I have to use the bathroom
>comes back
>switches off the light
>we start making out
>since it's my 3rd time having sex ever in my life, I decide to eat her out
>go down on her
>tastes like coins and salty milk
>I'm eating her out like there's no tomorrow
>door opens
>was forbidden to have a door lock on my door
>blinding light
>see mother standing there
>she looks at us in shock
>slams door
>I hear her puking
>doesn't matter, commence actual intercourse
>finish, get up, turn on light
>everything is in fucking blood
>couch, carpet, blanket, my face, literally everything is soaked with blood
>look in mirror
>thisisnthappening.jpeg
>I look like a bad interpretation of the joker
>feel the urge to vomit
>hear extreme yelling
>door gets kicked open once again
>mother storms in and literally pushes my gf outside of the door
>I'm naked all this time, covering myself up with a bloody rag that I used to clean up my face and my dick
>mother grabs me by the arm and leads me to the bathroom
>toilet is overflowing
>get dressed, start plumbing
>after a good few pumps the nasty clogging reason finally surfaces
>it's a bloody, soaked maxi-pad
>puke all over the place
left me a bit traumatized
>>711675106
Dude you're a dick
>>711675819
Who are you to judge me, on /b/ of all places.
Pic related.
>>711662264
I once had post-marital sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.
>>711669999
dub dub quads, bit timestamp or gtfo
Gf sucked me the right way in the shower and I thought I was coming but turns out I pissed extremely high powered straight in to her mouth.
mfw I just told her it was cum, she doesn't know I pissed in her mouth to this day.
>away at college
>play varsity ball
>hook up with this 10/10 at a party
>flip her over
>that's when I see it
>a fucking mole on her shoulder
I almost puked couldn't cum
all these virgin stories about pissing with an erect penis, which is physically impossible :^)
>>711676803
How do you piss in the morning you fucking autist
>me lurking pron theater for anon cock
>hook up with anon guy , diamond
>small crowd watching me eat his meat stick
>he turns around I bury my face in his furry ass
> ummm delicious licking startfish
> tounge goes in starfish, 4 or 5 other guys >jerking off watching
>stroking my steel I feel him push out
>thinking I am getting a nice firm shit to eat
> anon explodes in goopy wet diarrhea
>covered my face and body in nasty wet poo
>crowd decides to gtfo
>me alone covered in diarrhea left to take walk >of shame out of theater
>all anons looking at me covered in shit
>get in car drive home
>car still stinks of that fateful experience
>day did not turn out better than expected
>>711662264
got a blowjob from a dude for a free place to sleep for few days.. I'm a dude and not gay and couldn't really stay stiff, even though i closed my eyes and tried to imagine sthg nice
>>711664120
>>711676876
and then the whole theater clapped
>>711662487
haha faggot should had used a Condom
>>711676117
How do you sleep at night you sick fuck. Get out.
>>711664120
Omg rly xdd
>>711662264
I came in agirls mouth and she almost choked to death
>>711664120
Gibe de pussi, b0ss
>>711672043
Should have washed your nostrils.
>>711672110
My fucking sides
>>711677380
the answer was so simple all this time
>19
>hot chick from social group wants to hang out
>gonnagitsum.png
>after hours of flirting/touching on couch, move to bedroom
>messy as fuck, but pussy so who cares
>clothes coming off, she grabs dick and starts wanking
>it's like she thinks it's made of stone, gripping it like fucking Thor
>ripping skin up and down, feels like she's about to tear it off
>wtf.jpg
>decide to eat her out to let dick recover from abuse
>pull panties off
>oh lawd, roastie town
>in the middle of dry spell, decide fuck it
>massive smell of piss
>turns out she never wiped because 'it was uncomfortable' with 2 inch roastie lips
>mfw
>>711672110
legend
>>711662264
>Friends and his gf are over
>He starts being abusive to her (trying to physically drag her out of the house)
>I get all alpha throwing him out
>she wants to have gratitude sex
>we start getting busy
>"wait im on my period, just fuck me in the ass"
>holy fuck yes plz
>but it had been a long day. i IV'd 2400mg of oxy in the past 12 hours
>couldn't get my dick up, trying for an hour
>fucking fuck fuck fuck
>she says it ok she'll come over tomorrow
>drive her home
>never see her again
fml. normally a lot of oxy just stops me from cumming, but 2400mg was so obnoxiously over the top (that's 80 blues).
this thread has garnered so many keks
>>711662264
>with friend who recently got sexually assaulted
>made her a massive slut
>had been wanting to bang for a year
>making out in her room
>finger her
>get a HJ
>she starts to cry
>cuddle her until she stops
>hang with her for a few hours
>at chick I worked with's place
>she had me sneak past her parents, so that was awkward as fuck, especially considering she was 28
>it gets hot and heavy
>she unzips my pants, starts to give me a blowjob
>USES HER FUCKING TEETH, dragging them along my dick
>try to push things along to the sexy bits, end up taking off her pants
>she parts her legs, smell of rancid fish and unwashed ass enters my nostrils, bitch must've not showered in a month
>puke all over her (the anti-depressants I was on gave me nausea)
>zip up pants, leave
She had been fired before this encounter for just being dumb as hell.
>>711678625
nice guy well done
>>711678625
Good on ya for not being a giant asshole at the end there
>>711675546
oh damm annon sue her for trauma
we guys should realy be able to sue girls for this i mean its traumatic like an rape
A chick was using her teeth like a cheese grater on my cock.
That was the first BJ I ever received.
>>711662264
told this before
>I'm a guy
>see ad on craigslist from guy offering BJ's nit 5 minutes from my office
>arrange to meet him at lunch time
>go to his apartment. 12th floor overlooking park/river. very nice
>has me sit in chair
>pull my pants down
>he starts sucking my cock
>sucks for a minute, takes a hit of poppers, hocks up a mouthful of phlegm on my cock and goes back down on me
>does this several times
>cockhead has burning feeling by now
>hands me a lollipop to suck on
>has me lean back in chair and lift my legs so he has access to my asshole
>starts rimming my asshole, then sucking my cock, then poppers, phlegm, cock, asshole
>takes the lollipop from me and starts fucking my asshole with it
>continues to rim me, blow me, fuck my ass with lollipop
>I'm just weirded out and he isn't getting me off with this routine so while he's sucking my cock, I jerk off and cum in his mouth
>say thanks and leave
>all afternoon my asscheeks were stuck together with lollipop juice
>literally have to peel my underwear off (taking numerous asshairs with it) because of dried lollipop juice
>he wants me to come back
>>711671836
Expand on the scat thing
>>711671540
>>711673559
Things like this make me miss the one that got away. Thanks for the stories anon, nothing compares to someone you're attached to.
Beat this
> be me,17, virgin
> watch porn so I know my dick is a bit different than the ones I see on the screen
> the small part of skin that connects the head to the shaft is too short, and it sometimes hurts when very erect
> google a bit and find out I have "frenulum breve" and that this shit requires surgery.
> Read also that stretching helps and it should fix itself eventually, but read that sex can hurt
Should have gone with the surgery, fucking should have gone with the surgery.
> Go out with friends and pick up a QT at the bar
> she wants the D and I don't want to be a virgin forever so I invite her over as my parents were away for the weekend
> conditions are perfect
> we do a bit of 69, I get hard as diamonds and she is all giddy that she is going to be my first one
> she mounts me
> asks me "How does it feel" "It's awesome"
> It's not. It's shit. Is my dick supposed to hurt this much?
> she really gets into it and starts to ride me like a pro cowgirl
> Suddendly... SNAP. Just like the sound of snapping your fingers, just LOUDER
> PAIN PAIN OH MY GOD THE PAIN
> THE BACK OF MY DICK JUST EXPLODED
> she stops, gets off me, and BLOOD starts pouring out of my fucking dick
> WHAT THE SHIT
> she panics, I try to reasure her that this is totally normal for a virgin guy, all the while my dick is doing an impression of the niagara falls
> Eventually the pain mellows and the blood kind of stops, but I have an open fucking wound on the back of my fucking dick so I convince her to go home, even though she was concerned
Next day went to the doctor, got bandages for my dick. That shit hurt for like a month straight. Eventually my dick tore itself three more times, but it wasn't painful as the first time.
>First time with past gf:
>my absolute first time, not hers.
>foreplay all right
>fuck her 3 hours long and can't cum bc of nerves and having fapped 12 times before going out cause I knew that was the time and was nervous as shit
>she cums an unknown number of times
>I feel like shit and had the numbest cock ever.
>>711673559
Did something like this with my wife
>fooling around
>she tells me to get grapes out of fridge
>puts one on her pussy and has me use my tongue to get it out
>then I feed it to her
>do this with about 5-6 grapes
>put one in and it slides too far in
>have my fingers inside her. I can feel the grape but she's so slick I just can't grab it
>trying for about 10 minutes and suddenly she moans, grabs my hand and spasms
>think I hurt her but realie she just orgasmed
>she tells me to try again and this time I get the grape out
>I tell her probably no more fun with grapes
>she says "yeah, but that orgasm..." with a smile
>>711662264
My ex-if had a fucked up menstrual cycle. Once she thought her period was over, so we spent the evening fucking for hours in the dark. It was actually pretty good sex. When the lights eventually came on though, we were both smeared in blood, and my sheets were ruined. So was the mood. It was pretty nasty.
>>711662264
>What is the worst sexual experience you've ha
Probably the pis enema
>dating girl for a few months
>she's pretty wild sexually. we've tried almost everything
>one night we're fooling around in my bed and she tells me she wants to try a piss enema
>OK. Not my ass, so...
>fool around more, finally flip her over, lube her ass and my cock and fuck her ass
>when I cum she tells me to keep it in her and piss inside her as soon as I can
>wait a few seconds while I start to deflate and then let go with piss
>she's telling me she can feel how warm it is inside her and she feels "fuller"
>I finish and she says to take it out so she can go to the bathroom
>as soon as I pull my cock out she looses control
>mixture of piss, shit and and cum shoots out of her ass onto the bed
>she screams, jumps up and runs to the bathroom clenching her ass cheeks with her hands
>she's leaving little Hansel and Gretel shit crumbs all the way to the bathroom
>she shuts the door
>noise coming from the bathroom sounds like a bear drowning in the toilet
>meanwhile, I've loaded the bed sheets into a trash bag to be incinerated and I'm wiping the floor with Clorox cleaners
>about 10 minutes later she comes out
>gets dressed without a word and leaves
>never answers my calls or texts
>>711662264
I hooked up at a club went to hers 10 mins in she vomited on me
>be me
>be 17 and at girlfriend's house
>parents aren't home
>bonar.gif
>she starts sucking me off
>sucks me off in the kitchen
>sucks me off in the bathroom
>sucks me off in her parents room
>sheeeeit I'm gonna cum!
>we hear the front door unlock
>oh god no
>she pushes me into the closet
>a shirt sleeve swipes my dick and it goes off
>cum, cum everywhere...
>her father walks in
>"hey hun I just need to grab a tie real quick..."
>yougottobekiddingme.avi
>he opens the drawer instead of the closet
>phew
>wait wut?
>he's tying a half-windsor
>I can see everything and the man-child is tying the most crooked ass sloppy fucking half-windsor
>"how does your old man look? huh, kiddo?"
>"you look great, dad!"
>I can't take it
>jump out of the closet
>dick out
>start slapping the shit out of him
>she's hysterical crying and shit telling me to stop
>"no honey it's okay he's right"
>I end up tying a full-windsor for him
>mfw I no longer date his daughter anymore but whenever I see him now he's always rocking the full-windsor
Milf wanted to pash after sucking my cock then tired to force it on me.
Dumped a gf cause she had an aborition it her ex while with me - to get revenge she posted on social media that I was violent against women, ruining many many of my friendships.
>>711662264
>went to an adult arcade
>found booth to watch porn and fap
>knock on door
>open door
>very cute trap standing there
>asks to be let in
>horny I say yes
>she kisses me and his breath reeks of alcohol
>blows me gets me hard
>wants to fuck, he bends over
>no condom no problem
>insert cock
>immediat smell of shit fills the booth
>Chunky bits of shit and lube are all ov er my cawk!
>holding vomit in I pull out
>he apologizes and proceeds to clean up my dick by sucking on it
>makes me want to puke even more as he cleans me off
>pull pants up and leave
>get home and nasty slimey goop with chunks of shit are on my shoes!
>last time I had faggot sex
>>711681411
>she kisses me and his breath reeks of alcohol
>>711669293
Epic thanks for sharing
>>711671812
>last time
>Invite 7/10 girl i've been texting over for a "Movie"
>I pick her up and drive home
>Never met her in RL and she's so fucking weird
>We get to my room and watch the movie
>I've had blue balls for months so i need to this
>Make my move
>It works
>The forplay is good
>Fast forward 10 mins.
>She's on top
>As i'm enjoying the great feeling i grab her tits and moan
>She does the same as acting as me
>What the fuck?
>I stop and look confused at her
>"ehhhhh..."
>Should i continue or pull my dick out.
>Decide to continue.
>Finish fast and drive her home
fucking hell
>>711675251
>>711671987
>dingle berries
LOST, was it an YLYL thread?
>>711675106
>>The next week she tells everyone that I am b/f
this is exactly the reason why I had to dump-before-pump a few girls in the last years.
When they offer some sex action, they're already planned the outcome -- either you're a rapist, or you're their bf.
The reason I love this kind of threads is:
- I'm virgin
- I hate Chads getting easy free sex action
- I love to read lots of guys who eventually had sex, hated that moment
>>711676803
full retard
>>711662264
vigorous dry humping with ex gf.
lasted longer than it should have and ended up unable to get on the floor to do the dinosaur due to burning sensation on the dickeroo. could not sex for days afterward due to scab that formed
Always mean to reply to these threads - my life has been one long sexual disaster - but I just "me-too" about 50% of what gets posted - but with added drunken bonor-fails with fat/ugly/issues/psycho/skank mashups. Too old to matter now.
>kill me
>>711663293
> under 4 hours
>>711663293
Stop bullshitting. First time sex lasted less than 4hours........ just stop
>>711662264
>banging gf of the time
>really givin her the rough dickin
>pull out, demand head
>5min in lose boner for no apparent reason
>"it happens, anon"
>tells all her friends about it over the next week or so
>forced to dump her ass to retaliate
>>711681130
Amazing. 10/10.
My time to shine
>Hooked up with a whale/ogre i met on tider
>invites me over to her place
>go to her room
>trying to put it in
>she just want so make out
>she goes for a piss
>i grab some of her panties
>smelled like shit and piss
>nearly puked
>told her i need to go too
>took a huge shit in her bathtub
>gtfo'd like a startled gorilla
Never again am i gonna hook up with a fatty.
>>711662753
Ohhh you guys were wondering about how I was hitting it so long? I'm a supreme alcoholic and you can't nut or even get that hard when your drunk, called whiskey dick sometimes. how did i fake an orgasm? with a lot of sadness watching her bob her head up and down gaging some 20 30 minutes later you know it's not going to happen. So you say oouu ahh that good. she only wants to please but it's hard maintain a boner black out
>>711681130
Gold
>>711664120
Doesn't work like that.
>>711665966
>Part 1: fistful of regret
What is this a metal gear solid sequel?
>>711685013
Yep at some point while her pretty face is turning red and revels a serious forehead vain You begin to think. "This was someones beautiful daughter before i started smearing her makeup with a limp dick." Then your grinch ass grows a heart and you got to do the impossible.
>>711672110
No pregnancy scare?
>>711664120
Fuck it
>>711671226
>implying anon isnt a little gay fag who got ass fucked over a sink and a car
>>711674502
>too lazy to green text
>types a fucking novel
Are u literally fucking retarded or something? Green text is just a shortened version of what u jist did.
>>711686837
ur such a gent anon
>>711689588
Nope just really sad. The scum of the earth ha. Thanks though.
>Having bad feels with current gf
>thinking its about time to break up with her
>friends stays down mine for moral support and goofs and gaffs
>we buy some drinks and get smashed
>play some stupid anime games while joking
>run out of drink so raid parents spirits
>get even more smashed
>start telling each other how much we value our friendship while slurring
>Friend gets a bit touchy feelly a little bit huggy.
>Shrug it off
>friend is bi btw
>later decide its time for bed
>we discuss girl issues and such
>I start joking about sexploits with current gf
>friend says dudes know what dudes want >goes for my dick
>in my drunkenness and my frustration of gf being shitty my brain turns off and my dick takes over
> start making out with friend
>we get undressed piece by piece
>jerking each other off and shit
>friend blows me and half passes out
>if he hadnt passed out probably would fucked him
> we cuddle up and get in bed properly
>after a little while I sober up
>cant believe whats happened
>sleep on the floor
>when I wake up in the morning the I have the biggest feel of self hatred I've ever experienced
>feel like being an hero
>friend wakes up naked with no recollection due to drink
>have to explain to him what happened
>he laughs it off and says he thought I wasnt bi
>can barely look at him
>tell him I'm not was sad and drunk
>hate my friend so much even though its not his fault
>he leaves later that morning
>I spend all day hating myself from hate of gayness, weakness and cheating on gf.
Im broken up with my gf now which is good
but my friendship with my friend is fucked. we pretend were still good friend but really its dead.
Still feel pangs of self hated form that night
>>711664120
Are you sure about this?
>>711665569
wow
I was 11 when my cousin started to molest me. He came in my mouth so many times. I remember the smell of musk from his dick. He would lie on top of me till he came on my stomach. I don't even hate him or hold any
resentment towards him. Now, I think all my sexual fantasies revolve around the stuff he did to me.
>>711676803
Its not impossible it just takes a while
>>711664120
kys fag
>>711662264
OK here's a chunk of one of mine.
>Party with friends/workmates, pretty drunk, this one icelandic chick been pretty friendly, party draws to a close, no transport.
>Iceberg offers to crash in her room.
>Mkay
>Unannounced she strips down, doesn't bat an eye
>itson.mp4
>She gets into bed
>Turns over
>Goes to sleep
>I'm too drunk to even WTF - and tbh she's a 6/10 at best: weird lank blonde hair like a baby, face looks like it was hit with a frypan, bandy, hairy legs
>flipside I'm an overweight 3/10 on a long drought since the last fucked-up long-termer. 'evs - I don't care enough to fret
>Days go by
>Another work social, hook up again, cos dry spell and poor judgement
>Snogging turns to groping turns nekkid turns into the blandest sex I'd had to that point
>FFWD
>couple of dull humps down the line and she starts to come clean
>"I don't really like sex anon" "I don't orgasm anon" "don't ever try to make me cum anon"
>and the clincher
>"I still expect regular sex anon"
> . . . . . .
>Captain NoSelfEsteem here is wearing his Cape of Long Dry Spell and decides to stick with it for a while
>areyouretarded.tiff
>If I thought I had no self-esteem well Iceberg turns out to be the neediest, attention-whoringest, most treacherous cuck-makers ever to have drawn breath
>The sex remains irremediably bad - she lays there like a board, pretty much checking her watch, no technique on gods earth has the slightest effect ever and she makes NO effort ever
>At least her personal hygiene is bad and her personality crap (loves to start fights with errryone, lazy, self-obsessed, boring, childish, intensely annoying)
>The bad sex got slowly less frequent and the other people we fucked behind one-another's backs got more numerous
>To my eternal shame and damnation this cancerous stupidity continued for 9 years
>NINE Motherfucking Years
>And that's the joke, laugh away - you won't despise me more than I do
>>711693429
Sounds like you have no self respect or self control anon. All too common these days.
Got a handjob and only lasted around 2 minutes.. how do I last longer?
>>711694066
Round two. Why be asshamed of having a quick splurt? Usually means you were just incredibly excited at the time. Previous partner of mine loved when I orgasmed easily for her.
>>711677380
>Should have washed your nostrils.
I'm fucking dying
>>711671540
Shes a keeper
>>711693917
True on both counts - well done for stating the blindingly obvious.
>>711664120
Doubt
>>711664120
The dream
