Cringey shit you used to do.
I'll start with two:
>played sonic adventure and watched sonic x when I was younger
>started running like sonic with my hands behind my back at PE
>did this for about 2 years
>everyone laughed at me for it
>gangnam style became popular during freshman year of high school
>friend would turn the song on
>we'd all dance like faggots in the middle of the commons hall at school
>same shit would happen with harlem shake
bumpo
>>711662948
>>started running like sonic with my hands behind my back at PE
I did this too, but only when playing outside in recess with my "imagination". I ran like normal in PE.
Emmerson?
>>711663740
I even used to imagine hearing the fucking speed shoes music when I ran. I'm such a faggot.
>>711662948
>>711663740
>>711664473
Nah, you were just kids who were excited by the idea of going fast through obstacles and stuff. It's like the flash, but geared to an even younger audience.
I remember I drew a picture once where sonic and his friends, who I mostly made up, got girlfriends who looked somewhat similar to them. I ended up giving it to a pastor who stopped by my house occasionally for some reason. That was the only time I did that, which was when I was fairly young, say 5 years old--7 at most.
Social Anxiety- didn't play with the other kids. Just sat in my desk at recesses from grades 4-11
>>711662948
Please die OP
>What about the supposed tenth season of Seinfeld where they go on a boat cruise and it gets wrecked so they're on a deserted island?
What did R9K mean by this?
OP again, I'll post another one:
>a couple years ago
>didn't have a computer for a while so I'd go to the public library
>would always go to upstairs computer lab that only sometimes had people in it
>would wait until everyone left the lab
>use secluded corner computer with screen facing away from door
>bypass filters and fap
>almost got caught a couple of times
>did this for months until I bought a used computer
>go back there one day with a friend
>notice they put a camera in that room now
kill me
>>711665517
What did you fap to?
>>711665517
So the camera was there while u was fapping?
>>711665738
Mix of different shit from time to time. Some R34, some normal porn, etc.
>>711665742
If it was, I never noticed it and was never confronted about it.
My guess is they just do what schools do and have them record and only look at them when needed.
>>711662948
>Gangnam style
>Freshman year
What the fuck
>>711662948
>walk around school in small group of nerds
>sneak up on teachers
>grab them
>WE WILL ASSIMILATE YOU INTO THE COLLECTIVE
>teacher resists
>RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
>teacher punishes us
>start doing to to students
oh my god. what the fuck was I thinking.
>>711666140
>when his birthday starts with a "1"
>grade 9
>School spirit day or whatever
>im an Awkward and lanky faggot behind a group of stacies
>Fart since no one can hear
>Forgot about the smell existing
>Stacies turn around all at once and give me a dirty look
>Next week hear one of them talking about me and how I farted and looked super embarrassed.
I was embarrassed ya fucking cunt, screw you I hope when you're pregnant the kids turns out retarded or you end up stuck working at Walmart forever Reeeee!
>>711666269
I hope Chad beat you up and called you a dickless retard for that.
>>711666371
I was embarrassed ya fucking cunt, screw you I hope when you're pregnant the kids turns out retarded or you end up stuck working at Walmart forever Reeeee!
>>>/r9k/
>High school, in a rural town.
>Open campus for lunch.
>Go to a football field where no one ever went.
>Sit on the bleachers, alone, with a couple of clementines.
>Watch the cars drive by on a distant country road for a whole hour.
>Wishing I was one of the people in them.
OP yet again, just remembered anther shitty one. I was in some fucko Christian private school because my parents hated me or some shit. I was a huge fan of Mario 64 and such.
>in third grade
>would always be drawing instead of doing work
>got the idea to draw a super mario comic
>made some terrible comic but whatever, I was young and shitty at drawing
>had a binder full of shit drawings
>friend comes up to me
>after school
>during some homework club thing
>"hey man you're good at drawing"
>asks me to draw him princess peach
>draw princess peach the best I can with my inexperienced hands
>"looks pretty good"
>get an idea
>ask him to wait a minute
>turn away from him and start drawing something
>show it to him
>I fucking drew huge tits and an ass on peach
>he fucking asks me to make them bigger
>erase and make the edit
>we laughed about it and showed it to a girl nearby
>she looked as us weird and walked away
>still had that binder for years until I tossed it out
>>711666556
chad was my cousin and I used this power to humiliate him
>>711666698
The fuck is a Clementine? No cringe whatsoever just say youre chilling.
>>711662948
>be me, 6th grade
>out of elementary no more playground equipment
>just an open field
>all the different groups hang out around doing stuff
>like this weird girl
>ask chad "friend" how to get her
>he tells me how
>walk up to her while shes alone sittong on the ground
>walk up behind her
>airhump the back of her head
i know cringe at sweaters because she was wearing one at the time.
>>711666700
Rule 34 and dubs
>>711666823
Clementines = mini oranges or something.
I was the kind of person who was voted both "funniest class clown" and "most likely to shoot up the school". I think just about everyone liked me, but no one actually wanted to be associated with me.
That, and everyone thought my name was Cody. It wasn't. I never corrected anyone because I thought it was amusing at first, but when it caught on and I told them my real name, they thought I was making shit up.
...I became Cody.
>be me, happy, energetic kid
>1st grade
>always hyper at lunch
>oh shit I need to go to the bathroom
>raises hand
>waits 15 minutes
>peer that clearly didn't give a fuck arrives
>you can't use the bathroom before lunch ends
>shit pants
>really shit and release what my body was made to do
>I smell like shit for the rest of the day
>flies buzzing
>piles and weight in pants
>tumor of processed food bulging in underwear like a greasy head of cabbage staying in place
>kids made fun of me
>teachers made fun of me
>dad made fun of me and created song about it
>never got along with a person again after thst point
Pretty sure that subconsciously followed me and I was unaware of social situations including it. Fucking underpaid niggers
Sjsjsjdjdkdkdd
My stupid freshman self decided to make a liter of pepsi + a million mentos blow up in the hallway
Got caught almost immediately after as a teacher witnessed me doing it and was looking for me in the cafeteria
Made me clean up the mess, and was cursed at by a bunch of juniors/seniors because of how stupid that was
>2012
>Grade 9
>Admitted Brony and atheist and le meme master
>Try to act cool and funny and edgy
>Everyone just mocks me till grad calling me AppleJack.
>Bottom 5 in popularity in HS
>Sat in stalls at lunch
>Fapped sometimes
>Kids started to notice I just sat in their
>Panic and find a new bathroom by metal and wood shop.
>Bathroom was least occupied and pretty comfy.
>>711666700
amazing lol
>>711667133
Iktf, people either tolerated me or picked on me or even both.
>>711662948
> church family
> mom dragged us to church every Sunday
> dad never had to go
> started going through puberty
> getting random bones
> nervous in church because get boner, and try to tame it before everyone stood up to sing
> rarely worked
> needed back up plan
> push my little bone against the pew infront of me
> mmm, feels good
Did that for awhile, only stopped when someone caught me. Old haggard ass woman calls for my attention, I look over and she's waving me off. Signalling for me to stop sexually harassing the pew
>hangout with stoners for a year
>One of them I went to elementary with
>Turns out they're more than stoners, they do hard drugs too
>Edgy skids
>The one kid already smoked himself stupid and did acid every weekend and didn't grad on time
>Got arrested stealing chips and soda from Safeway with weed in his pocket
>One guy was swag fag
>Other was try hard wanna be rapper
Glad I stopped ganging out with them, they knew I was a friendless loser and just felt bad for me but they never invited me to anything. In fact they just used me to buy smokes and to rip on me, fuck those losers.
>>711666371
>Stacies
>Reeeee
Fucking autistic faggot, go back to /r9k/.
>>711662948
>gangnam
>freshman
Fuck you young pleb why are you here
I remember one kid who wore a Zelda graphic tee, pacman meme tee, COD tee, and had severe autism. He was with the normals and tried to mingle but always failed to do so, like him destroying people's projects cuz someone else told him to. Poor kid had a semi unibrow and a really bad speech impediment.
I feel like everyone on 4chan is under 24.
>>711668025
>freshman year
>gangnam style
>class of 2016
>young pleb
>Junior Year of highschool
>assigned seat in the back of Statistics
> Teacher in the front was a good looking 6/10
> fresh out of college woman from TSU
> her class was easy as fuck so I spent the entire time imagining her in lewd ways
> decided to wear gym shorts to class one late day in may
>particularly hot outside so everyone is wearing loose clothing
>Teacher strutts in a light blouse and short skirt
> insta boner emerges
> fit boner between legs and start rubbing legs together to make a fire
> look down the aisle to a sea of whale tales
> rubbingintensifies
> eyes rise up to make contact with teacher
> everything she was saying my mind turned into a dirty fiction novel
> pull up right side of shorts and stick my harpoon out
> unload white whales all over the floor
> not a soul noticed.
> continue pretending like nothing happened as I ride the wave of extacy till the end of class
I would do this almost every period in Statistics. The worst days were when I wore shorts and had to walk in line out of class hoping no one would notice the change in colors running down my leg.
>Be 12
>realize bitches make my little Weiner hard
>no internet, no porn, no tv
>draw pictures of what I thought was a vagina
>believed girls have balls and no dick
>you put the wee in between the balls
>there is an opening in there or something
>we'll call them "ballginers"
>drawing more ballginers on the bus
>some kid sees and asks wtf is that
>I tell him a giner
>he starts drawing them
>other kid sees
>he draws them
>we start a bus club for drawing ballginers
>Fellow ballginer drawing club taken off bus by parents
>ask why
>we can't talk to you any more
>giners don't look like that
>they gave me the rest of their drawings
>I still have hundreds of pictures of ballginers in a box somewhere
>we never talked about it again
>literally no negative social interactions from this
>I am now a sucesful, home owning, married guy with 1 kid
>I now know what giners look like.
Grade 7
Fuck Gangnam style Ray William Johnson is epicer!
Reenact fav episode for drama
Best time evar!!11!1!1
>>711668130
I'm not sure what point you're trying to make
Is he? Or not?
>>711662948
I thought I was a faggot...
>>711668200
What I meant was wearing jeans to be the hardest to cover up. Just now realized the class probably stinks of spunk.
>>711668301
OP again. No, I'm 18. Still just as much of a faggot as anything under that though.
>>711668200
how the fuck did no one smell anything. fake and gay.
>>711662948
>be me
>be 10
>boys pull girls hair
>i do it too
>but like extra pulling
>i get my hand away with a fist full of hair
>i grab the air and fucking jump and lean on that hand to rip the most hair out
god damn i was such a fucking moron
>>711668276
I might have been 11...
>senior year
>Drama
>Assignment was make up a character and act it out with depth and feeling
>I was a dude playing princess fartypants
>I farted on everything and said le before everything
>As cringe as it sounds
>Mostly improvised
>Sat on teachers lap and pretended to fart
>We were both cringing on the inside
>got a B-
>be Junior in HS
>Start a new HS, start dating a somewhat emo girl, who cuts. Cute other than that
>Tells me I'll never understand her depression, or how good cutting feels
>Go home, use scissors and trace my wrists several times sideways, but barely break skin and hardly even draw any blood.
>Wear hoodie the next day, and hide wrists from everyone but I kinda of "accidentally" let my wrists out so she can see I did it on her own, as if I did it for me and not for her.
>"Anon what the fuck did you do? Did you really do that shit? Did you do it just to mock me?"
>I don't really know what to say, other than I wanted to see how it feels.
>We fight about it, and I break up with her.
>>711668423
Oh I had to look it up.
You were 14/15 doing that shit? The fuck?
Over here HS is like 11 and up. I was banging 15yos by the time I was 17.
Christ
>>711667293
wat
>>711668701
What a petty cunt, wrist slitters are the cringiest and most annoying people.
>>711668276
My sides
>>711662948
I use to listen to rap, hip-hop, and had the first two eminem albums.
I thought being a degenerate rebel or edgy teen was cool.
Told people the truth about my beliefs and desires. This may not be cringey, but it's certainly regrettable.
>>711668677
Kek and dubs
>>711668803
yeah, and people associated me with her for like 3 months, even though we dated for like a week.
I flirted with a couple girls who said "Oh aren't you dating that one girl? What happened?"
Didn't wanna explain.
Actually never told that story ever now that I think about it.
This one fuck boy who was like oh I love u girl and your feelings, Im deep too and thoughtful, when in actuality he just wants to fuck her and brag about it to his moron friends.
>>711662948
I used to call my girlfriend's parents and tell them whenever I found out that one of my girlfriends was cheating on me.
5 separate groups of parents.
Yeah, I don't do that anymore. The last time my girlfriend cheated on me, I just took it like a man and didn't tell anyone.
>be me
>year 9
>ask girl to be my gf
>she is the hotter of twins in the same year level
>everyone congrats me
>think im the coolest
>next period after lunch in same class as her and friends
>want to show off and be gentleman
>pull her chair out
>whole class goes "wooooo.."
>don't care show these assholes a real man
>she goes to sit down blushing
>don't know what happens in my head
>pull chair out as she goes to sit down
>she falls down flat on arse
>class burst out laughing
>chivalry.png
>she stands up and calls me an asshole then runs out of room
>turn to friends
>"that was hilarious dude, what were you thinking hahaha"
end up losing first gf ever had lasting like 15 mins.
>
>>711662948
I knew a black weeb that did this but he pretended he was a naruto instead.
>>711669098
lol.
I fapped in the bathroom of a Catholic school to furry
>>711669098
>>711669098
Are you a cuck? How big is your dick?
I taped videos of my cat and posted them on 4chan
Also check this out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SayTCWttywU
19 year old cuckold here, too late for me?
>>711669262
fuck you
>>711669333
>>711669357
My dick is average. It's 5.5 inches. No, I'm not a cuck. I break up with them every time I catch them cheating.
>they're all whores these days
>if you think you have been cheated on less than me, then I believe you aren't very observant
>>711667820
Make me ya basterd ya sonnafabi... What is that? Ahhhhh!m! It's a mossjsjsisosnsnsoodnnrbdd soorryjfxhlxldrcvjpfy hellp m Mee!! Ahhhhh!!!
>used to dick peak all the time in middle school at the urinal
>one time one of the potatos from the special ed class comes in next to me
>seemed like he was a few years older than me, not really sure how those programs worked by he must have at least be 16+
>he's kinda standing a good distance from the urinal, and whips out his dick, completely oblivious to his surroundings, doesn't even glance in my direction.
>I look at his cock, it's enormous. Probably 7 or 8 inches. He's fully erect just taking a piss.
>can't get the image out of my mind for years. He's still slightly bigger than I am, and I'm in my mid twenties now.
>>711669511
Damage control
Anon confirmed cuck, prep the bull and stretch that boipucci ya faggot!
>>711669615
What the fuck is wrong with you? Fucking weirdo.
> gangnam style was popular during freshman year
youre either underageb& or fucking retarded
>>711666823
baking
>>711669750
Ldhl DG d
HD help me I'm being eating by a.. a... A.. b-big Kinomoto Sakura vagina!!!! Rule 34 of her too plz ah god ckgxgldy
Fu
Fufu
Fupfturotsitsotufspufsitdyo herpaderp!!!!!!!!!!
>>711669726
>Damage control
because my reputation would be affected someone if I didn't try to control damage?
This is an anonymous image board, new guy. You can't damage me here.
>>711669816
when was that going on? 2011 or 2012? he should be over 18 by know. unless im being a retard and did the simple math wrong
>>711669098
Damn. That's pretty bad.
>>711669615
Fuckin ritallin kids
>>711668677
In all honesty that sounds cringy but the kek type. I hope someone recorded it, I would pay to watch that
>>711669925
Fine you got me, for the first time in the history of this website, someone admits they're wrong and sorry. On behalf of the chan, myself, and moot, I apologize with all sincereness.
>>711669098
I think that's pretty cool, if a girl is going to be a bitch at least let her burn
>>711662948
hey op i used to run like sonic too. probably my first 'canon', even though that's the first time i've ever used that word. then captain planet and dbz
I remember watching survivor and the award was they got to watch a movie, which turned out to be Jack and Jill, underrated cringe, especially on their faces during the screening.
>>711670042
>The Chan
God I hate that
>>711669098
>girlfriend cheats
>calls up her parents and tattles
>does this more than once
I lost. This is the most cringe I've experienced in a long time anon.
>>711667575
whats a pew
>>711669948
OP here, yeah that was during 2012-2013. I'm out of high school now, mates.
Fdturfgkdlhchlchldlhdhccvcxfjxgkckghlclckckgclfh
Rywtowyoeypfjvilovejojolizzardadmingjdndndjsosjsbsjossonssbdbiddbsiosjnsaosjsnbcmksiuisisjno
Theres a secret message in that.
>>711670218
People are cheated on once, maybe twice during the course of an entire lifetime.
This guy is saying he's been cheated on by 6 different girlfriends. SIX
>>711670456
Right, he acts like a bitch and rattles like a 9 year old girl and tries to control the situation like he's a cool guy on a Chinese stone throwing club on the internet.
>>711670567
Well I guess it depends on where you live, but with all this "girl liberation" shit that has been going in the last years I have been proven that when they are let loose girls are more prone to cheat than guys.
>>711670489
the long seats in a church
>>711667133
Sorry to burst your bubble but no one really likes the class clown they just laugh at you and make fun of you ,you are just a clown for them who is there for their amusement
>>711671349
Yep. I can attest to this shit. No one likes you (really) and most people will ignore you to gain favor w/ the teacher/mob. Try to get the teacher in on the meme, ya know?
>>711670489
It's the sound a blaster makes when discharged.
>>711662948
>be me
>not allowed to watch tv
>not allowed video games
>going to christ school
>have 3 friends
>dad dies, mom no job
>money runs out
>have to leave school
>lose contact with friends
>public school's cash
>i sell shit to the kids
>start making friends
>now highschool freshman
>mom reads edgy christfag lit
>tinfoil consp for mind control starting in highschool
>im in for a month then out
>homeschool.jpg
>stay there until 18ish
>mom always going on about how i never do anything
>whyuthinkthisis.png
>get a job
>go to college with young bro in another state
>he flunks out in a semester
>im doing ok
>school thinks ok not enough, cuts scholarship
>work full time on side
>grades are shit since i never have time to study
>2.0 gpa now
>always tired, no time for friends, no gf.
>fuckthisshit.jpg
>quit go back home
>hi mom
>lets me live there, but now im dead inside
>threatens to throw out
>i don't want to but ill fucking kill if i have to
>she shuts the fuck up
>staying till i can get my own place
>fyi she finally got a part time job besides being a whore
>>711673155
How is this cringe? Besides the fact that you seem proud to be a freeloading autist and a low life
>>711673278
It's trans-cringe
>>711669098
kek
>>711662948
the sonic shit isn't cringe. Every one who wasn't a nigger did that. It's pretty normal.
Dance fads however are for the autistic and I wish a million deaths upon you.
>>711666958
You didn't do it right.
>>711673514
Don't worry, I already wish death upon myself.
>>711669098
this is funny
>>711670489
a gunshot
>>711668119
They're not
>>711668119
I'm 42.
>>711668803
Honestly.
Personally, I think I get the whole "pain feels good". I think...
I box, and I kind of enjoy the first few punches to the face. Before the head pounding. Just the solid whacks.
I also like going for the heavy bag bare knuckle, but I don't like doing it cause I've broken my wrist before.
>>711667143
I think I know you. .
>>711669511
you've planted the seeds of doubt.
Time to go kill myself
>>711669511
>get cheated on by GF
>not a cuck
Pick one.
>>711674539
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ggnzsj5P3I
>>711674708
"view locations"
Holy shit. You put this on your girl's phone mate?
>>711674898
Of course not. It's illegal to put a spy app that CANNOT BE DETECTED BY ITS USER on a phone you do not own without the owner's consent.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A57uWryfaLk
>>711675049
Cringe/9000
>>711669925
Jesus Christ. You really are autistic
>>711675321
No I'm not. I was tested.
>>711669511
>5.5 inches
>average
Sure
>>711675414
Femanon here
This is your daily reminder that pornography is harmful. Growing up watching porn every day has giving you a false understanding of what a normal penis looks like. Watching porn throughout your adolescence has given you a negative body image and has made you very insecure. This insecurity has made you unattractive, because confidence is what turns us on.
93.4% of men have a penis under seven inches in length. The horse cocks you see in porn are very painful. We don't want boyfriends that have penises that large. Don't believe me? Here, watch a video that shows you what having sex with a big cock is actually like:
>http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=191982256
There is nothing wrong with your penis anon.
>>711675567
>93.4% of men have a penis under 7 inches in length
Bullshit. I don't believe you. That can't be right.
>>711675414
>>711675597
>>711662948
I was a phone phreaker and a hacker in the 80s. When I was blueboxing or cracking a game or something, I used to put on a domino mask. I released my warez under the name "Captain Computer" and saw myself as a supervillain.
>>711675567
>pornography is harmful
>here, watch this pornography
lol, wut?
>>711675383
You make it sound like that's a good thing.
Kek
>>711675717
>you make it sound like not having a disease is a good thing
Are you fucking retarded?
>>711675619
Well shit, I stand corrected. I thought I was average with 6.5
>>711662948
When I was about 9, my friends and I used to spend lunch time and recess fighting trees to raise our power levels.
>>711668119
maybe everyone on /b/
>>711675755
If YOU have to be tested to know if you have autism than it's not a good thing
>>711675861
better to live in ignorance like you?
>>711675895
Kek. But i don't have autism, neither do i do borderline autistic shit like you.
>>711669948
>should be over 18 by know.
Well, you fucked up simple English, so maybe your math is shit also.
>>711676064
>But i don't have autism, neither do i do borderline autistic shit like you.
Are you sure? because this post seems extremely autistic to me.
>>711676112
I don't know. I've met heaps of people with poor English skills that have above average math skills.
>>711669098
good lord.
>14
>had to make a PowerPoint on s subject of our choice
>going through edgy atheist phase
>stood up in front of the class and did an entire PowerPoint on how God wasn't real and how stupid people who believed in him were
>acted like a smug faggot who constantly argued with the teacher about it because I was enlightened and "awake"
>>711665376
why?
>>711669098
This is hilarious.
>>711676393
I went through that phase when I was 11. Made a protest sign in scripture class with a picture of Jesus with his intestines hanging out. I taped it to a ruler and lifted it above my head while shouting "Gods not real! Gods not real!"
I got sent to the principal's office and had to apologize to the scripture teacher the next day.
>went through a goth phase in early teens
>refused to go out in public without all my goth shit on
>all the black clothes, jewellry, big boots, floor length jacket etc
>thought it was all soooo cool
>got roasted by strangers almost daily
>didn't have the thick skin for it
>the fuck was I thinking?
>>711667133
"most likely to shoot up the school" sounds like kind of a reason to shoot up the school
>>711662948
>Watched Death Note
>Started crouching on my chair instead of sitting
>>711674495
You don't
>>711669511
Are you sure that they all cheated?
Did you have hard evidence, or just suspicion?
>>711675567
I dunno femanon, she seems to be enjoying it.
>>711667293
You must be around 18 by not. Still a bronie or did school teach you the lesson?
>>711669098
>Yeah, I don't do that anymore. The last time my girlfriend cheated on me, I just took it like a man and didn't tell anyone.
I refuse...this has to be bait
>>711667754
Are you me?
>>711676813
He's probaly an insecure prick that broke up with his girlfriend because of his severe autism and paranoia. Thats why he is afraid of being called a cuck and feels the need to brag about his literal dick.
>>711676813
I'm sure. After the first girlfriend cheated on me (she confessed) I become really suspicious, controlling and insecure of the women I dated after her. About once or twice a month, I would intentionally create windows of opportunity for my girlfriend to cheat on me by making fake appointments that would force me to work late or claim that I had to go out of town on business only for my flight to be "canceled" at the last minute, forcing me to come home instead of leaving town for the weekend as I had told my girlfriend at the time I was going to do.
I caught three girls cheating on me using this method. I walked right into my apartment and discovered another man in it.
>>711677373
>complains the whole time and makes him stop
>because it feels good.
>>711662948
using ^^
>>711669089
thats your average guy nowadays...?
>>711669089
Neck beard spotted
>be me
>teen, somewhat around 15-16
>just love Michael Jackson
>one day when too horny, I think myself I need to spice things up
>put Beat It playing in the background while I fap
>Imagine eyes closed a lot of people are watching me masturbating furiously
>this becomes a habit for 2 years
>think about it now after several years
>cringe as hell
>>711669089
That's not even a story, that's just describing someone. Are you retarded or something? Or are you still doing cringey shit and this is just more of it?
>>711677776
Are you aware of the term 'self-fulfilling prophecy'?
>started running like sonic with my hands behind my back at PE
pretty sure we all did this.
>>711669127
Similar story, was ~12 or 13, literally in the front of class doing some kind of group presentation, and saw a girl about to sit down at the back of class (narrow class, it was probably 20 feet from front to back). For whatever reason I booked it back there and slid the chair out from underneath her and she fell flat on her ass. The teacher basically said "what the hell is wrong with you?" and gave me detention on the spot. I'm sure some people laughed but I felt like a complete jackass when she immediately hurt herself and I realized I interrupted a presentation to pull the shitty gag.
>>711664473
>CWOSONT
>>711669889
So you're 11 is what you're saying
>>711678697
no, just millenials
everyone else has this thing called "dignity"
>>711662948
>be me
>third grade
>girls decide to ask us to play kiss chase
>pretty fun
>decide to ramp it up
>sneak up on girls with two pimply speccy kids
>slide under them as they stand and grab their legs
>look directly up their skirts
what the actual fuck was i
>>711662948
i used to bite people when i was in 3rd grade either for my own fun or because i didnt like them , i only stopped when they threatened to kick me out
When I was in year 3 (third grade) I started making a comic called Doctor Moo which was a rip off of Doctor Who but the doctor was basically Itchy from the Simpsons. It was so rude for a 7 year old with a lot of cunts, fucks and bitches.
i used to piss in library books
>>711679282
MORE PLS
>>711679282
lmao wat
>>711679282
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f7112b01fb/ass-pennies-from-greatest-comedy-sketches
>be me
>must of been 11 or so
>during lunch times i used to get a sponge cake for desert and leave the cafeteria
>i dont even like sponge cake
>this was for another reason
>a more autistic one
>I used to shove a shit load of sponge cake in my mouth then fucking spew it out at random students
>id even make the noises for it as well while i fired sponge cake out of my mouth
>BURHRURHRPHRRURHPH
>i was feared in the playground during lunch period
>if you saw me with a sponge in hand you knew to run
>i didnt care if you was 1 or 5 years above me id still cover you in spit soaked sponge cake
>>711679282
>>711679881
what... the fuck?
>>711668276
Goodbye sides
>be me in Jr high
>emo, edgy faggot that listens to alternative rock and shit of the like
>wants attention
>always telling everyone I'm gonna kill myself on th bus, in class, everywhere
>had drama
>when acting out a skit, would pretend to slit throat
>did this every single time until I had to switch to art the next semester (some electives were only a semester long at my jr high)
>would act like a fucking angst faggot at home too even though I was fine
>parents get worried and introduce me to a psychiatrist to talk about my feelings
>would go every week and act that I was sad
In high school I was a typical awkward loser never talked to girls. Once in college it was a whole different world and some girls actully liked me..I got some numbers for the first time. Problem was the only experience I had texting and talking to women, or anyone for that matter, was online sites like this or similar. The first few girls I ever texted I would text a shit ton of emoticons like...c: :3 ^_^....and I would text role play like I would say goodnight *hugs you*...they all stopped talking to me
>>711680359
you still are in highschool faggot
>>711680873
No that was 10+ years ago retard
>>711668495
Lmao
>16yo me
>live in rural area
>be the only "trve black metalist goth" dude in 156² miles around
>the only one wearing spikes and stuff like that from head to toe
>"how comes nobody wants to befriend me ?"
>i understand people who wish time travel would exists.
This is kind of OC because it's mine but I posted it before.
1/2
>be me
>be son of parents who disapprove of japanese cartoons
>mommy and daddy are gone out
>two new english dubbed episodes of one piece are out on kametsu
>ilikewherethisisgoing.dll
>confront freezer
>fight freezer for five minutes that seems like a lot longer for some reason
>defeat freezer
>defeated freezer surrenders frozen tendies and french fries
>into oven with you, jewish frozen tendies
>be 25 minutes later
>tendies and french fries are now done
>one piece episodes 481 and 482 are downloaded
>so stoked that luffy finally rescued ace from the scaffold
>whatcouldpossiblygowrong.jpg
>confront freezer once again
>slice freezer open in one swift move
>obtain frozen peas
>boil frozen peas until they are no longer frozen but still crunchy
>justthewayilikesthem.psd
>combine tendies, french fries and peas on plate
>take upstairs to bedroom
>start watching one piece 481
>wait
>something is missing
>tendies seem dry and flavorless
>fuck
>forgot mayonnaise
>go back downstairs
>open fridge
>no mayonnaise
>open cupboard
>no mayonnaise
>contain rage through superhuman effort
>look for salad cream instead
>no salad cream
>only one option left, cream cheese
>take tub of cream cheese out of fridge
>take butter knife from drawer
Continued...
2/2
>walk past front door on way to bedroom
>knock knock
>open door holding cream cheese and knife
>it's the mailman
>he sees cream cheese
>a curious look flits across his face for a brief moment
>what am i going to do
>how do i explain why i am holding cream cheese
>can't tell him the truth
>he might tell mommy and daddy that i was watching forbidden cartoons
>in a moment of desperation, i think to myself "what would /b/ do"
>now i have the answer
>open tub of cream cheese
>fix gaze on mailman
>slowly spread cream cheese up and down my right arm
>his eyes widen in disbelief
>why am i doing this
>what was i thinking
>how do i explain this now
>once again, i wonder what /b/ would do
>open mouth
>i know exactly what to say
>"i...i'm d-dangerously creamy!"
>fuck i meant to say dangerously cheesy
>now he won't understand
>mailman takes a step back
>places package on the ground
>backs away
>shit now i weirded out the mailman
>if only i'd made the reference properly
>close door
Still continued...
3/2
>go back to bedroom
>eat delicious tendies and watch one piece
>cream cheese on arm starts to melt and stick to arm hair
>strangelypleasurable.wmv
>have idea
>write up story for /b/
>they will love it
>it mentions memes and everything
>start to write story
>want to clean cream cheese off arm
>can't leave until finished writing
>all stories must have a proper ending
>but i can't tell a story about something that didn't actually happen yet
>so i can't finish writing until i leave this spot
>but i can't leave this spot until i finish writing
>mfw my life is a paradox
>i've finished my tendies and i can't get more
>mfw i'm going to starve here
>better watch one piece 482
>ace is gonna fight admiral akainu
>disgonbegud.m4v
help me /b/
daily reminder anti-hill mods at /pol/ made posting pic related bannable
just a reminder :^]
>>711666346
You meant with a 2 I suppose
>>711666371
It's enough if they get pregnant and are going to shit themselves
>gangnam style became popular during freshman year of high school
>friend would turn the song on
>we'd all dance like faggots in the middle of the commons hall at school
>same shit would happen with harlem shake
This.
>>711682231
4/2
>be 2006
>nintendo ds is all the rage
>want one
>want one bad
>mommy and daddy say it's too expensive
>grandma says she will buy me one, but no christmas or birthday presents for two years
>worthit.png
>go to store
>am allowed two games
>pick zoo tycoon and pokemon trozei
>grandma says pokemon is for little kids and retards ,i should pick something else
>hmm
>i don't like any of the other games on the shelf
>shut my eyes and point
>little sister shrieks in pain
>i poked her in the eye
>pretend it was my other little sister
>shut my eyes and point again
>pick battleships/monopoly/yahtzee/boggle combo game
>4 games in 1, seems like good value
>go home
>play around with ds settings
>discover pictochat
>mfw no-one to pictochat with
>theorize that since pictochat message data is sent via radio or infra-red or something, even if it isn't received by another ds it will carry on into space forever
>have idea
>write down all my deepest and darkest secrets in a pictochat message
>"sometimes i like to dress up in mommy's clothes and pretend to be a pretty girl" and "i wish i could see my teacher poop" and things like that
>press send
>imagine that message being picked up by aliens in thousands of years
>pleasure myself to the idea of strange eldritch beings from the depths of space discovering my perversions
>>711682245
9. There are no real rules about moderation either — enjoy your ban.
>>711682512
5/2
>a dingaling sound interrupts my reverie
>message recieved
>it's the middle of the night
>i'm in bed
>who could be messaging me
>the range on this thing is pretty short
>they must be like next door or something
>message says "nice ;)"
>immediately throw ds out of bed and hide under the covers
>hear more dingalings
>shudder with fear until i fall asleep
>next morning
>battery has run down
>also top screen damaged
>go outside to take out trash
>"morning anon" says next door neighbour
>"morning mr anon's neighbour"
>he stares at me while i take out the trash
>think nothing of it
>that evening
>playing monopoly on ds
>actually quite a good game
>my thoughts drift whilst computer players are taking their turns
>recall neighbour
>big 70's-style moustache
>slightly overweight
>always seems to be smirking
>looks a bit like a pedophile
>suddenly realise who was sending those messages last night
>drop ds again
>top screen damaged even more
>pick it up because i don't like leaving the game unfinished
>suddenly realise that i used my real name as the ds username
>drop ds again
>one of the hinges snaps on impact
>fuck, that cost a lot of money
>>711682559
6/2
>see neighbour most days for the next three years
>behave perfectly normally (as far as possible despite autism) whilst knowing he wants to finger me
>then one day he disappeared
>mommy and daddy said he and his wife moved away
>by the way, his wife was clearly a crossdressing man but we were too polite to mention it
>i wonder if he actually moved away or was taken away
>still have ds today, it still works but it's hard to make out what's going on on the top screen
>play pokemon firered on the bottom screen
>who's a little kid and a retard now, grandma?
>>711662948
Your name Matt?
>>711667143
That's why you don't do what teachers say
Most Teachers are not intelligent humans, that's why they are teachers instead of scientists
>>711682678
But what about science teachers?
>>711672155
Underrated post
>used to think I'd meet a girl, have a family, be happy
>>711669098
holy fuck
>>711676594
Crouching on chair feels good. I do it all the time for some reason kek
>>711675567
Titsorgtfo
>>711682678
>scientists are intelligent
cringe
>>711662948
>Always been a bit of a show off
>Friends younger sisterd ask for ride (I just got my license, they were like 13-14.)
>Halfway through the drive I began driving with my knee for no reason.
>Lift my hands in the air like I'm fucking awesome for being able to do that
>I was 17 but still every time I think about it I wanna fucking shoot myself.
>>711662948
How's school, kiddo?
Do kids your age know what paper is?
>>711666346
Even somebody born 100 years ago could have a birthday that starts with a 1.
EVEN in the retarded date format that the USA use this is the case.
>>711675619
That has to be bullshit
I know my 21cm cock isn't on the small side but that would make me Hercules
>>711666700
And thus shadbase was born
>>711685881
That chart is in inches, dipshit
>>711669697
>he is fully erect while taking a piss
Bullshit
If you are erect the bladder closes off so you don't cum into it
>>711685604
If thats all you cringe about at night then you're a bit of a pussy
>>711685994
I know
Now convert 21cm into inches dipshit
>>711670567
Do you know how averages work you fucking moron
>>711683248
They still studied teacher and not science, they just learn the same they already had In school + some pedagogic stuff that's basically common sense
>>711685259
Ow the edge
>>711667143
BJ?
>>711686341
4
3
8
9
-----
24 / 4
-------
6
>>711686341
What does averages have to do with that post? That anon never once mentioned averages.
>>711668495
>be me, 12
>freshman in high school
>never fit into any group or make real connections
>Had massive crush on grill
>Totally cunt, but first crush so it got me bad
>sent notes to her in class about dumb shit
>actually think we're becoming friends, send notes every math class
>keep all notes from her In side pocket of my backpack. Hundreds of them.
>keep this up for a while
>one day she tells me she has a by who is 10+ years older
>play it cool, act like I don't care
>starts asking in notes how I jerk myself off, what feels good for clocks, etc
>describe in great detail how I'm always doing it and what feels good.
>teacher notices us passing notes at the back of class
>urgently try to cram It into my pocket
>she's coming over
>Hundreds of notes start cascading down out of my bag
>everyone just picking them up and laughing
>teacher gives disappointed look and takes jerking note from my hand
>her face drops when she reads it
Whole class knew all about what we were writing about, and teased us for Fucking ages. Teacher kept us both back afterwards to make sure we were having safe sex, and to offer support.
The thought of giving tips for that to a girl who you like is unimaginable. Especially when her bf is a pedo.
>>711668119
I wish I was
>>711687126
Fucking spelling errors. Its meant to be about cocks, not clocks.
>>711669511
ok now im sure this is bait
>>711668276
Screenshot red. Top kek
>>711686161
That's always confused me. I've always been able to piss while fully erect, it's just a little uncomfortable to aim for the toilet.
>>711687126
This is win not cringe, fag. Sounds like girl wanted your peen.
>>711687678
I probably could have fucked her if i realuzed at the time what this meant, but i was too 'nice' and put pussy on a pedestal. Then again, we were only 12, so..
>be chinese moot
>decide to become superjew
>add cringy ads to site to make it less useable
>>711675693
Hahaha that's awesome. Kinda cringey, but awesome
>>711668276
Dude if you can find those drawings it may consume 4chan for a while. Ill be watching for ballginer thread dont let me down
>>711667133
In high school kids started abbreviating my name eventually both first and last names became abbreviations mfw my Facebook reflects this because noone knows who the fuck I am otherwise. I am become that guy who goes by his full name abbreviated because I would rather be a tool than no one at all. I am no one at all I wish I was clever, if I could travel back in time my only deepest desire is to murder my younger self with bare hands as excruciating as possible. Am I interesting yet? All those people I'm pretending not to care about while their opinion of me is paramount. Tl;dr I'm a whiney millennial who completely understands the irony of being a complete tool but being to much of a coward to an hero so instead I post my wittiest banter to literally impress no one with anything but utter and complete pathetic dribble of the most cancerous tier. >Tl;dr forreal this time I hate me as much as you do probably more I didn't ask to be born but I share your desire for my death.
>>711689285
I did not so much as backspace let alone proof read any of this yes I'm dyslexic, autistic, a waste of oxygen etcetera I have no where to go I exist unfortunately until that stops I apologize.
>>711688782
>it may consume 4chan for a while
>may consume 4chan
>consume 4chan
Try again
>>711669089
This is you.
>>711689285
Reading this now I feel I need to say I wasn't fishing at the time of that post for sorry feels but as I read it I realize no matter what I do or say I will always a heinous toolbox, hanging on everyone's opinion of me and my sudo-intellect. tl;dr I literally cannot stop sucking dicks
>>711662948
When i was 8 yo i used to act like tomb raider.
>>711662948
Listen to mincraft parodies, some of them i put at like 200% speed and tried to sing along
>>711689909
I have become shit post the whiner of the
Whiniest generation. I am a soulless monkey watch me dance anonymous internet onlookers I am so fucking sad I'm pandering to b in a cringe thread literally the cringiest possible being in existence. I... Cant.... Stop.... Shitposting
>>711689285
>>711689446
Woah there pal, a little too edgy for me. How's about we just chill the fuck out and smoke a joint or something?
>>711690218
If no one responds to me replying to my own posts for the entire thread I will screen cap with timestamp and all personal info, yes this is a nypa request although elaborate do not be deceived this work of fiction simply needs one good push in the right direction, will bank account info as well 58$ USD a friendship incentive. Help me die b
>>711690518
I already fucking replied to this shitty bait you retard, on the off chance that this shot is real, I suggest once more than you chill the fuck out and smoke some weed.
>>711690442
Hey listen I understand your unimpressed my incredibly deep and mysterious persona just doesn't do it for you? Can't say I blame you fifty smackaroos will buy you a bunch of joints anon
>>711690678
Listen I'll drop the pretentious childish catty girly attitude, this morning after my fourth day of no sleep I had a epiphany we are all bags of meat and this principle whether true or not just being in the realm of possibility is enough for me just be like fuck it fam you don't care I don't care no one ever cared ever will feel sorry me give me purpose, are you cringing yet?
>>711691165
I would love to smoke a joint, ruin everyone within earshot's high with my 4edgy5me feel me baitshit
>>711691165
Shut the fuck up, you absolute retard.
>>711666698
this sounds lonely but in a good and comfy way.
>>711662948
>Cringey shit you used to do.
>I'll start with two:
>>played sonic adventure and watched sonic x when I was younger
Acceptable cause it's just a game and show
>>started running like sonic with my hands behind
>my back at PE
>>did this for about 2 years
>>everyone laughed at me for it
LeL u GeEk
>>gangnam style became popular during freshman year of high school
>>friend would turn the song on
>>we'd all dance like faggots in the middle of the commons hall at school
>>same shit would happen with harlem shake
Acceptable cause everyone was doing it so it's a social situation
>>711692070
You realize you're responding to that with ... That... Honestly anon wish granted I couldn't agree more I apologize for the gun to your head which forced you to read everything in this thread and become butt devastated... Not even the original intent you have some self loathing issue of your own I assume
>>711667754
Woah that sounds like my future if i dont get new friends soon, like exactly my future
>>711667754
Koonce?
