Help me out /b/. >Financially forced into living with a
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Help me out /b/.
>Financially forced into living with a family friend for the past two years after parents moved to japan for business.
>Guy is a 57 year old virgin with no social skills. Super paranoid, die hard glenn beck supporter, and fucks with me and my shit all of the time.
I can't take any more of his shit guys. Anybody know of ways I could fuck with him that wouldn't obviously be traced back to me? I'll bump with stories of this guy's craziness
pic related: the guy looks like an even more unlikeable kevin james.
kill yourself
Bumping with stories about how crazy this guy is, but first a little back ground on the guy
>dad and him have known each other since 3rd grade.
>the guy has serious social anxiety and basically my dad was one of the only people who were nice to him in school.
>guy fails out of college because he can't bring himself to do group projects/participate in class.
>contacts my dad, who is going to school and puts in a good word with the dean to let him in.
>the guy gets super depressed after a couple weeks, locks himself in his room and doesn't come out for two weeks.
>dad basically forces him to go to class to save face with dean, basically becoming the only reason this guy ever graduates
>guy basically owes my dad so he let me stay with him in a spare room for $200 a month.
now for the stories
>>710027902
>spare room turns out to be his mom's bedroom.
>literally everything is exactly the way it was when she died over a decade ago.
>lipstick, perfume, jewlery, even floss is still on dressers where they were left.
>gets super angry if anything is disturbed or moved. Basically have to keep this room looking like his mom is still living in it.
>If anything is out of place, he'll leave two-three page long letters and hide in his room after I come back from work or class at around 11:30pm
>shit happens at least once a month
>I've tried talking to him about it but he always acts like nothing is wrong.
>>710028337
>When I leave for a day or more, I always come home to find my shit "cleaned up". AKA gone through.
>things in drawers will not be where they were, clothes in dresser will be moved around
>if I leave anything, like my contacts case or something out on the bedside table, It'll disappear. when I ask if he's seen it, he'll act like he has no idea, but a couple days later, It'll magically appear under my pillow or some shit
>Have tried to talk to him about it, but he always gets super upset and runs in his room, slamming the door while yelling about how I need to respect his mother
Ya banged, anon. I'll await the news story featuring this guy wearing your skin like a housecoat.
>>710028780
>guy is super paranoid
>doesn't allow friends over, but ok, I can respect that, it's his place
>doesn't want friends picking me up because they might "case" the house.
>always calling the cops on "suspicious cars" that he's never seen parked on his street.
>has double sided locks and a different key for every single entrance to the house
>won't go to bed most nights unless he thinks I've gone to sleep
>>710029005
no joke, this thought's crossed my mind lots of times. I lock my door and keep a swiss army knife next to my bed. like that's going to help lol
Post more stories.
>>710029205
>dude is always watching fox news.
>literally ALWAYS
>in two years, have only seen him watch fox news, and a few episodes of some shit on nat geo.
>only listens to classical music and enya. fucking listens to enya while he lifts in his basement.
>back to fox though, he records all the fox news shows he misses during the day and watches it nonstop when he gets home from work, skipping through the commercials
>blames everything bad on liberals.
>saw me watching a football game one day. sits down with me.
>See a bad call and complain that the league is becoming more and more pussified
>guy looks at me and says, yea it's probably all the liberals complaining and making it that way
>one day, making small talk and told him about how some antibacterial soap was being taken off the shelves.
>"yea its probably all part of the liberal's agenda"
>literally anything perceived to be bad is liberal's fault, doesn't even have to make sense.
>>710027390
Apologize to your parents and move back in with them you edgy 18 year old.
Break the tv so he can't watch it anymore
>went on vacation with gf
>cleaned my car up before hand
>since I try to spend the least amount of time in the house and around him, I keep a lot of shit in my car so I don't have to go home in between class and work
>While cleaning my car, throw away any old half full or full water bottles and stale snacks I have stashed in the back.
>all in all, there's about 11 water bottles and an assortment of chewy bars and crackers. Throw all that shit in the trash
>come home from vacation to find all the stuff I threw away on top of newspaper laid out on the floor in my (his moms) room.
>little envelope with 5 page letter addressed to me in it.
>the guy is hiding in his room and won't answer when I knock
>>710030052
Apologize for what? they moved to japan to handle their english teaching business because the economy over there is shit.
I stayed here to finish school, going full time while working 35 hours a week to pay for my own education because my parents can't afford to help.
believe me, if I had the option to move back in with them or had the finances to afford my own apartment, I would be all over that.
I'm also 21.
Move out and stop being a little bitch
>>710030823
Transfer to jap college then
>>710030448
Turn on parental controls, block fox news and pretend you know nothing about it. Block a new fox affiliate every time he's not looking. Watch the paranoia take hold.
Financially forced? Or you're just stupid and lazy so you can't provide for yourself?
>>710030514
>the letter basically said that he found this in the trash and that he doesn't appreciate that I throw his water and perfectly good food away.
>None of that stuff was purchased by him though
>dude literally went through a tied up trash bag inside of a trashcan in the garage while I was gone.
>next day, get a letter from my dad telling me that the guy had emailed him this huge long letter about how I was throwing away his full water bottles, his food, and not paying my rent. even received pictures of all the stuff I threw away.
>none of that shit was true, told my dad who believed me.
>Woke up the next day, tried to talk to him about it, and he acted like nothing was wrong and that he was wondering if I mean to throw it all away.
>When I said yea, and all of that was bought by me and was in my car, he said "oh, yea just was making sure" and then helped bag up and throw everything away
>>710028337
post letter
>>710031156
I work 35 hours a week to pay for my education. tell me what else I can do
>>710031340
Take out a loan, financial assistance, same thing everyone else does.
right now you're mooching off this guy, 200$ a month is insanely low
and you want to fuck with him, when he's obviously unwell mentally?
I hope he skins you.
Guy sounds mentally ill, possibly suicidal.
He doesn't need to be suicidal. Just needs to sound it.
You have all those letters he wrote you. That's a large sample of lettering you can trace over. Does he also sign them?
Wills added to suicide notes frequently hold up in court.
>>710031263
>like I said, guy is super paranoid.
>always complaining about money, but went out and bought 8 HD infrared security cameras with 8 terabytes of memory.
>cost close to $3k
>now his new hobby is to watch fox news while going through all of the past day's security footage on his laptop
>one day come home from work and find some dog shit in front of his mail box
>tell him about it to see what happens
>guy gets a flashlight and goes out at midnight, analyzing this dog shit for a good 10 min.
>comes back in all out of breath saying his going to get who ever did this
>Starts combing through security footage and finally finds the perp
>Takes about 20 min to find so I go back into my room
>Come out at around 2 in the morning to get a drink and before bed and he's still in his chair, rewinding and watching the same clip of the dog shitting with the owner holding the leash over and over again.
>ask him what he's doing
>Oh, just going through all the tape to make sure I have the right person. The mail box is in the way so I can't actually see the dog defecating.
>go back into room and lock the door
>2:30am, finally hear him go into his room to go to bed.
>guy literally watched a dog shit by his mail box on repeat for 2 and a half hours
>>710027902
>>710028337
>>710028780
>>710029205
>>710029901
>>710030514
>>710031263
more stories please
also, post a pic of the room
Room with timestamp
>>710031519
it's a favor for my dad because the only reason he's not dead is because of him
trust me, I've been so respectful of him for the past 2 and a half years. took all of his shit with a smile. but ever since he emailed those pics to my dad and lied about me not paying rent and stealing/throwing away his stuff, I'm pissed. tell me you wouldn't be too
>>710031340
Scholarships, loans... If you're no longer supported by your parents there is financial aid available to you that won't need to be paid back. Maybe you're not stupid/lazy but there are much better ways to do this.
>>710027390
if the unlikeable kevin james dude is in japan ive met him :D
>>710027390
OP, this guy has mental illness, and to pick on him just makes you a monster since your only paying $200 a month and he has KNOWN problems. My suggestion is this : Move out, because if you do something stupid >which you probably will do
you'll be on the streets and kicked out or in jail for something stupid, and your parents will think less of you just as I do.
>>710031970
>>710032279
Pics of the room
>>710033513
more pics
>>710033609
one more
Why do you care if he's wasting his life doing stupid shit? Worry about your own shit.
>>710033513
>>710033609
>>710033760
better burn that letter before he reads it
>>710027390
if your router allows it, throttle his internet speeds based on mac address. just slow enough to annoy him
>>710032380
Yup, I've done all of that. Up to my eyeballs in loans and use my grants and scholarships to pay the rest of the tuition and books. I make about 450 every two weeks at a shitty retail job since i can't get reliable hours after class at a higher paying place. I also have to pay for my cell phone bill, car insurance, health insurance, food, gas and any utilities he thinks I was responsible for which ads about another $100-$150 depending on the weather onto rent. I'm on a $50 a week for food budget and I barely scrape by. Really can't afford to move out and I'm feeling trapped at this point.
>>710033772
when he starts going through "my own shit" and starts affecting it, that's when I get worried
bump
More stories . he sounds like quite the character
go on "vacation" and while away shit in his mail box but leave a note about how know about the cameras and all the locked doors. i bet he'll freak
It starts to get real boys...
>socially incompetent
>has an engineering degree but was jobless after graduating so my dad hired him as an english teacher. flew him to japan, gave him his own apartment for free, and a competitive salary.
>quit after a year because he freaked out when talking to female students.
>even starts stuttering when talking to teenage girls manning the registers at the super market.
>loves japan though.
>found some girl who is on the national curling team for japan and literally falls in love with her.
>Saw him watching curling one night and asked him about it since he always watches fox news.
>tells me that he's watching the love of his life
>lol what?
>tells me he found this girl and starts asking me if I can find her email address since I know about computers. Tell him i have no idea
>bought a custom made poster of her since he couldn't find any to buy. close up of her face
>has that hanging up in the basement, next to his bench and dumbells
>>710027390
how about you grow a pair and move the fuck out you ungrateful fuck
>>710035399
he knows i know about the cameras and locked doors
and he'll be able to see me taking the shit since there are fucking cameras
>>710035468
read the rest of my posts explaining my situation and tell me how to move out and I'll do it.
please
>>710035734
don't you have any grandparents or other relatives that could help you?
How does he pay for the house if he has no job?
Op you are better off in the streets. op your gf can help you move out? op maybe you are better out in the streets.
>>710035734
Oh no! you can't afford to pay for school and have your own place?
yes, by all means, continue fucking with the guy that puts you up you ungrateful fag
>>710035423
short one
>left some basketball shorts and tshirt that I use to sleep in under my blankets once. completely not visible unless you took off the covers and looked.
>bed was made
>come home to a letter telling me that he found my dirty clothes and that it only takes 5 seconds to put them in the hamper.
>Also said that there's no need to go through the trouble to hide things like that from him because it takes even less effort just to put my clothes away.
>guy apparently checks my bed every day while i'm away at work
>>710035989
he has a job now. he works as a privately contracted electrical engineer for the military
also, it was his mom's house
>>710036168
did you read anything about my situation?
also I haven't fucked with him at all yet.
>>710035984
i guess that's a no then
>>710036159
She does. only problem is, she's a dietitian at a hospital in the opposite direction. the only apartments in between school and work and her hospital are close to $2k a month. Can't afford that shit.
>>710036205
Op i was in a similar situation with my mother 11 years ago. I met a girl online in a videogame and after a few years of online"dating" she decided to pay my way to texas. we are happily married and im fuckinh free from that torment.
>>710036569
My grandparents from my dad's side are in a nursing home several states away. My grandparents from my mom's side are dead
>>710036670
no aunts or uncles or other relatives either?
>>710036622
awesome for you man. I have another semester and a half of school left and then as soon as I get a high paying job, I'm out of this shit. But it wears on you after a couple years you know?
>>710036572
explain situation. maybe lie a bit make it sound worse. tell her you fear for your life. if she loves you that much she will help you. just commit and promise to get a better job. sacrifice has to be made or you will end up like that loon, whim has literaly nothing ib his life besides watching dogs shit in his mailbox in his sec cams.
>>710036754
Most of my aunts and uncles are from my moms side who is japanese. My dad is from philly and only has one brother who we're not on great terms after some disagreements after my dad gave him a job with his company like 10 years ago
>>710035521
well wear a mask then
Fucking liberals always rowing water away.
>>710037056
lol good idea
>>710036818
da. you need to make a sacrifice man. That man can turn volatile the moment he finds out you are conspiring. much like my mother whom gave me a head injury. she was exactly the same but spiraled into violence much so.
>>710036382
I have tried to read, but I almost died of boredom.
Yeah, I can see the guy is a total douche, autism does that to people. It is not like he has come looking for you though, you are invading his home and making his life hell just because he owes your dad.
Your options are to shut up and do what he tells you in his house or, as I said before, grow a pair and move out.
If I am still missing whatever the fuck your "situation" is, please spell it out, I see nothing in this thread
>>710027390
I swear to god if this punk son of my friend blows this heist in going to kill him myself. Can't believe the little shit throws away water like that.
>>710037357
ok, why are you still here then?
>>710027390
register the address with girl scouts' associations and similar so they come by often to sell cookies and shit. let him work on his social skills and creeper skills.
>>710037357
this man has no privacy, anything he does is perceived as either hostile or destructive according to ceazy man. then crazy man plays victim card with no evidence or cause to cause damage in retort to his perceived hostility.
das guud man. kill the fucking pig.
have you tried medicating him?
op has gone silent. crazy fucker prob kicked his door down because he found out.
Op - why haven't you fucked with his toiletries?
Piss on his toothbrush.
Jizz on his soap or in his shampoo.
Christ man start thinking evil-like.
>>710038160
hed prob just blame liberals... though i think it would be funny to get him high somehow
>>710037692
if he was a man he would have the privacy of his own home, instead of coming to /b/ to ask how to fuck with the guy who puts him up because he owes his dad
I think burning the house down might help him, but it would cost you a lot, and it seems he's some advanced level of irredeemable so....
Do dumb little things. Leave strange objects in full view of the cameras. Do it in disguise. Hide them in blind spots, too, sometimes.
no no no.....
Wear his mother's perfume and touch him frequently.... nah
Leave him notes? No.
OOH! Fake being his curling love. Say you found the email. Fuck him over through advanced impersonation technique. Maybe get him to fly to Japan.
>>710037505
I want to make sure you know you are sounding like a little bitch.
yeah yeah, you are now going to insult me in a completely unrelated way and feel good about yourself, I won't respond, making you feel even better.
there's a chance that you will think about this guy in a decade or two and see things in a different way, so it is still worth it
Sign him up for every door to door appointment you can.
Kirby vacuums
Jehovah's witless
Mormon
Etc
>>710038281
> get him high somehow
You think he's paranoid now?
Get into something of mama's and leave your special touch.
Piss in the perfume.
Jizz in the lotion.
Fuck, I'd be licking her picture.
Sneeze on his goddamned food in the fridge.
Something man...
>>710038554
>Wear his mother's perfume
What a mindfuck.
GG anon.
>>710038554
lol do the last one that's fucked up he probably would fall for it too
OP MORE OC
I want a pic of this guy. Or of his monitor and a camera. Maybe one of the TV y'all watch.
This thread is gold. Your stories of this fucker are making me angry. It's great.
>>710027390
You should make weird ghost noises through the house at night acting like you're his mom really freaking out
>>710038991
>>710038160
>>710038119
Im back. at work so on mobile now.
These are great ideas. don't know about actually fucking with his food and getting him physically sick. That's a little too fucked up for me.
I think the door to door subscription shit might be perfect
>>710039416
totally. Do you have his email address? Start signing him up for things.
Op you seem like a cool dude. I'm going to mourn the day the guy murders you
>>710039343
lol the guy literally has no pictures of himself and I'm not chancing taking one of him. other than the back of his head or something but what would be the point of that.
and got a few more stories. just gotta type it out on the phone so it takes a little
Op - that one anon who said "wear his mom's perfume" was a top answer.
Spray some on his bath towel. Plant the seed. Then start asking about her and complimenting how she must have been a great lady.
Get inside his head.
Make that fucker sweat until you have to call 911 because you're concerned how he's acting.
Get that fat bastard 5150'd.
Hey OP, if this guy has a lot of security cameras and enters your bedroom everyday while you're away, he is probably recording you
>>710039745
Bumping for these stories.
>>710040615
Fuck you
>>710036205
This is less of a crazy story and more of a sad, stupid one
>wants driveway redone.
>Contractors quotes are too expensive
>contacts his old ass handyman neighbor who is the oldest of 13 kids. no joke
> handyman, whose done a lot of work on everyone's houses in the neighborhood and is actually a pretty solid guy, says that he doesn't work with concrete but his brother does.
>brother is sketchy though and handyman says he's had trouble in the past, but he'll give him a good price. just get everything in writing and tell him everything so he can keep an eye on his brother as well.
>like I said, handyman is super solid guy
>so the guy I'm living with, call him Craig, contacts handyman's brother.
>pays him 3k to do his driveway.
>in cash
>with no receipt
>even though handy man said you should
>oh well, if his brother is anything like handyman, I can trust him 100%
>ends up the guy does half the job and splits
>handyman tries to get a hold of him but can't
>even some of the 11 other brothers and sisters can't find him
> no writing so the police don't give a fuck
> Craig keeps texting handyman's brother but keeps getting excuses and that he'll finish the job soon
>won't call because autistic
>after 6 months a neighbor catches me before I head to class and asks me why the driveway has been fucked up for the past year.
>tell him
>neighbor introduces me to a guy on the next street over who is a cop. Cop says that he'll look into it and see if he can have a talk. especially if craig still has the texts of handymand's brother acknowledging that he hasn't finished the job
>go to Craig that night and tell him about my convo
>oh no, I delete all my texts to keep my phone clean
>dude has a fucking 16GB iPhone 5 with no music, pics, nothing. Just sits there empty in his $60 leather belt clip.
bumping for stories
>>710040615
This sounds quite likely. OP do you assume this when you're in there?
>>710041173
what a god damn moron
>>710041173
I'm sure if I lived alone long enough and lost that self awareness being around others gives, I could easily turn into this guy OP is living with.
Gas light him
>slowly move mamas stuff around little by little
>convince him that nothing changed
>over and over go further with the stuff
>eventually he will go insane and kill self
>>710041173
cont'd
>Craig also likes to turn off his phone when he's at work, driving, or at home. AKA he only turns it on when he wants to use it for 5 min at a time. But I'm getting off track
>deletes all text messages.
>I tell him to text him now and get an answer and then screen shot that shit
>texts him
>next day ask him if he heard back
>oh, I haven't checked. I didn't turn my phone on.
>wtfdoyouwantyourmoneybackornot.jpg
>there's a reply with all the evidence Craig needs.
>I have to contact the cop and let him know things are in place because "I'm more familiar with him"
Two weeks later, Craig magically gets his money back. I literally got his money back for him because he's too autistic to do it himself. All he'd do is vent to me about how "i guess bad things always happen to good people", and that "he'd like to hire some guys from the sopranos to fuck him up for his money. My dad even did the research and found a reliable contractor for him to finish the drive way. While still in fucking Japan.
>>710041887
also, I had to convince him to even screenshot the texts. he kept saying that i could teach him another day. I kept telling him that the cop wants the pic and that it literally takes one second to screen shot something.
Ended up having to basically take his phone from him and do it myself because he kept trying to put it off.
Fucking unbelievable.
>>710041824
All his mom's stuff is in my room. He'd just think that I was doing it and get mad
>>710041887
Your dad sounds like a good guy. Makes you wonder how much Craig has lost in the past due to his anxiety without you there to get the social ball rolling.
>>710042178
you should allow him to die
why do you prolong this idiot's agony and the race's burden?
>>710042178
Does he ever drink or smoke weed? Seems like he could really use a day of loosening up. Once he's chilled with you, he might find it easier to relax in the future.
Maybe slip a Xanax in his food, bet it would be hard with a paranoid tho?
>>710027390
This shit is hilarious
>>710042258
short one
>finds out I enjoy the sopranos
>one of his favorite shows
>offers to drive me all the way to new jersey to see the "soprano house" they used in the show
>politely decline saying I'm bust
>Big fucking mistake, thinks I actually want to go see it
>keeps asking every weekend for the next month
>keep telling him no
>finally corners me and asks me if I'm lying to him and that I really don't want to go.
>is visibly upset
>no... no I do, I've just been so busy
>great! then lets pick a date so you can keep it free and we can go! We can go to a golf course I used to play at with your dad when we were younger on the way back too!
>ok, I guess this won't be too bad. At least I can golf
> Wake up at 9 in the morning and drive three and a half fucking hours to jersey to drive by this stupid ass house.
>Ok whatever, golfing is next. Don't have my own set of clubs but my friends taught me how in school so I used to go with them and loved it.
>get to the course after another hour drive.
>yup, here it is. Where your dad and I used to play golf...
>not getting out of the car.
>just sitting in the parking lot looking at the driving range
>alright, you hungry? we can stop at a popeye's on the way back
>Can't believe I spent my entire day driving to jersey to look at a house then to philly to look at a golf course while listening to enya and glenn beck podcasts.
Would have thought this was a huge troll if it wasn't for the fact that it was fucking Craig and he's crazy enough to think that this was fun
>>710042178
Got any more OP? I feel for you /b/ro, but thanks for sharing. A semester and a half left, you're in the final stretch now, just gotta power through.
>>710042668
I brought it up once while listening to fox news rant about how detrimental weed was and he said that he tried it once but it didn't work so he thinks he's immune to it.
but he drinks one guinness and like 5 or 6 miller lites a night after work and does not loosen up at all. He just gets drunk while watching fox and gets super angry. I try to avoid him around this time because if I say anything, he'll some how turn it into a huge rant about liberals and obama that'll last a half hour or longer.
>>710043253
das kinda sad
>>710035423
Pic of weight set and dumbbells
>>710043537
Damn I thought he was just uptight. Sounds like a fucking prison. All you can do is think about the day you get released.
>>710043962
Also wanna see the portrait of the female curler he loves
>>710043537
On the plus side when HRC wins he might have a heart attack.
>>710043539
yea it is. but my frustration over spending the one day a week I have off from work or school driving around listening to glenn beck and enya in pretty much complete silence really had me feeling some type of way.
Like you'd think after the third and fourth time of declining, that he'd get the message. I guess it's my fault for not telling him straight up. But it's hard when you're dealing with someone like this. idk
lace his food/drink with some lsd, pop open a brew and get some popcorns
>>710044171
Kek
>>710044434
pretty much retarded tho that i have to reply on my own post but you can also fuck with his mind during the period of time the lsd affects him. make him believe that he is not real
>>710043962
>>710044148
thought she was a race car driver until he told me lol
>>710044588
lol like I said, I don't really want to fuck with his physical state. After he came down from the lsd, I feel like I'd be pretty fucked
>>710044770
oh shit nigger i thought this was all a lie
>>710044770
Every few days replace the photo of his curling waifu with a slightly more close-up version. Only use very small icremants. Don't zoom in more than a 1/4 inch or so each time. After about a year or so, it will just be a giant slanty jap eye.
>>710044770
OP. This thread is fast becoming legendary.
Please, continue.
>>710045390
That would cost OP way too much, he's already said he's on a fixed income.
bump
have a couple more stories left. just give me a few min since I'm on my phone
>>710045323
>>710045477
yea no way i can afford that shit lol
>>710043537
Here's what you do:
Keep a diary of this on your phone (so he can't snoop). Every detail, every day. Keep living with him. After a year or two write a book. Sell said book. Leave.
>>710045323
lol I don't think I could make this shit up if I wanted to
>>710027390
Where do you live bro? If close by I'll do something good
>>710045755
Hey OP. Does Craig have any living relatives? Anyone other than you that he interfaces with regularly?
pic related, mfw reading this man's antics
>>710045862
He's in a 3 1/2 hour circle from Jersey.
>>710029901
How does he work though if everything you say is true?
>>710044770
You think he would be a /b/tard if he was a little more technologically inclined?
>>710044770
>gf used to visit, but only for the day. Craig didn't want her spending the night and it was already a big deal that he was letting her come anyway since he didn't let any of my friends any where near the house because they might "case" his place.
>no problem, I can respect that, plus it's his moms room. Can understand completely.
>so generally I'd visit her for the weekend since we live an hour apart and it makes more sense for me to go. She knows my situation and helps pay for gas and what not, even though I hate having her take care of me. I know, stupid macho pride bull shit whatever.
>One weekend, she comes for my birthday to drop off a homemade cheese cake. we eat a slice and then we go out to the movies and then dinner afterwards.
>End up going back to her place after dinner
>come back and basically 5/8 of the cake is gone
>mother fucker ate 5/8 of my birthday cake and left one slice left for me after two days lol
>>710046344
Yes, I'm confused as well. Where does he work?
Does he actually work or does he just go somewhere and lurk all day to seem "normal" around you?
Fuck, this is scarier than any Halloween ghost story.
>>710045712
This is a good idea, it'd make a good dark comedy movie actually.
>>710046549
Shit man! This dude has zero awareness, he probably has no idea that there's anything wrong with eating someone else's birthday cake.
Anon, what you need is an attitude check. Ignore these autists, they are the proto-form of what you are dealing with; struggling through their retardation to the point that they may one day have a full house of their own to sperg in. Anon, your father gave that man everything worthwhile in his adult life, never act like you owe this man for letting you stay in the house his mom owned that he presumably pays for with the job your father got him after he failed getting a job with the degree your father secured him.
To start, every time you see one of those letters now, crumple it up without reading it and throw it away, possibly publicly. Most likely he will silently have autism fits but will be too much of a pussy to talk to you about it face to face; force the ultimatum where if he has a problem he will have to say it to your face, and if he's as socially afraid as you say, you'll probably stop hearing about his dumb shit.
Second, keep pointing out "weird" things around the house, or even make some up. This will distract him in general, amuse you as he spergs out, and strengthen your bond after relations may be tense after first step. You see showing concern for his property, and showing that you and him think alike/have similar thoughts will endear him to you.
3rd Start keeping some form of documentation of his behaviors, even a little footage of him obsessing over surveillance footage or harassing neighbors over trivial things will go a very long way toward establishing his character in legal proceedings. Not gonna say why you need that, but hell if worse come to worse you can tell him you'll go to the liberal judges with the info and they'll take his house. A man like this only needs to believe himself at the mercy of his "tormentors" and the facts and logic will fade away.
>>710046549
>not eve the first time he's done this either.
>bought a big pizza after midterms once to celebrate from a local pizza shop.
>got high by myself and ate half of it.
>next day go to the fridge to eat some more for lunch
>only one slice left
another time
>made some fried rice with special seasoning that my mom shipped over from japan.
>Made a bunch hoping to save it for later
>Came back from work looking forward to leftovers
>All fucking gone
when I confront him, he gets this bewildered look on his face and says that since we share the house and especially the fridge, that he thought it was for him too.
I never eat any of his shit. He also doesn't make extra, always enough for one serving. So i have literally never eaten one mouthful of his food ever.
>>710047049
You asshole.
He had to eat all that cake to see if there was a bug in it and someone was casing his house from the inside.
OP was LUCKY Craig was kind enough to save him a piece.
Jeesh - you're not good at paranoia.
>>710027390
what is wrong with you, leave him alone
>>710047344
Damn you're right dude. Sorry Craig.
>>710029205
and yet he let you live in his house
you should respect that before he kicks you out
>>710027390
I bet if you got a fucking job and moved out that would really fuck with him you fucking loser
>>710046344
>>710046559
He's an independent electrical engineer contractor for the military.
He commutes like 2 1/2 hours from home to NJ on Tuesdays through Fridays and works varying hours, but usually 12-7 or 8pm. He makes a good chunk of change but spends it on stupid shit like security cameras and always has to buy the most expensive thing for anything he gets.
He also has a bad habit of listening to sales people and taking it as truth. Dude's HDD died on his old macbook so he took it to the apple store. They told him he needed a brand new computer. Comes home with a brand new 17in macbook pro with an expensive case and all this other shit he doesn't need.
>>710047078
You trying to get OP fucking murdered?
>>710047655
I do respect it. have you not read anything I've written?
>>710033513
>>710033609
>>710033760
and no respect for his privacy, i hope he kills you
>>710047683
I work 35 hours a week while paying all of my personal bills, rent, utilities, and also have been paying for my own education.
please tell me what else I should do so I'm not a loser
>>710047617
>Sorry Craig.
Wait... how did you know my name?
*smashes router*
Introduce dildo, say you found it behind a cabinet while looking for something you lost. Make sure to "grease" it down with chilli. Wait until he cant resist and have mutilated himself with it. If no effect in due time, repeat but with fleshlight. Maybe use hair remover cream instead of chilli... he might be hospitalized, win for you.
Lmaoing at the people in this thread.
>omg let him do what he wants get a job you fucking loser
Shows me exactly the kind of retards I inhabit this world with. Luckily these kinds of people stand out very much so we can laugh at/avoid them.
I mean it's basically how "Craigs' get created.
Actual lonely austists should unironically kill themselves instead of shitting this world up with pony porn, extremist political rhetoric, and pedophillic tendencies.
>>710047997
......get your own place?
>>710047898
well this is the room that I'm paying to stay in. but can't change or move around
thanks though
>>710048143
how?
I'm already just scraping by financially
>>710031962
fucking gold
>>710048306
Don't ask that pimple faced tween how to do something
>>710047187
More stories?
>>710048306
>>710048368
faggot...I had my own place flipping burgers working 35 hours a week.
stop eating fast food, cut your cable and be a man
>>710048306
These guys are just adhd skimming through this thread. You've justified not moving out. Just gotta ride it out man, a semester and a half is like 5 months? Euro fag so not sure in US.
Better hope he doesn't browse /b/
>>710047187
Well if you want to kill him there's your angle.
>Make food for yourself while he's away, eat part of it and then put powdered acetaminophen in it, mix thoroughly, I suggest soup or some kind of stirfry with plenty of meat.
>make sure the food has a strong enough flavor to cover the ~8 grams or 16 extra strength Tylenol (double the overdose threshold so he doesn't have to eat all of it).
>His liver will be destroyed and he'll die inside of a week.
>Throw away the leftovers somewhere other than your own garbage so he thinks you ate the rest, or just eat it yourself as there shouldn't be enough to OD you from what you've said about his eating habits.
There are blood tests they can do to see if it was acetaminophen but from what you've said about this Craig fellow he's not going to have the courage to call an ambulance until it's too late.
Keeping him from seeking medical attention for the first 48 hours should be easy.
>Symptoms are flu-like in the first 24 hours: Nausea, vomiting, stomach pain, loss of appetite, Paleness, Tiredness, Sweating
>Just say there's a bug going around and he won't think twice about it, might even take some Tylenol (which will just speed up the process immensely as it's adding more acetaminophen to his already dying liver, don't suggest this though because plausible deniability and all that)
>In the first 72 hours he might have some of the more telltale symptoms: Pain in the upper right side, Dark urine, Urinating less often than usual, Skin and the whites of the eyes turn yellow
He should die or become bad enough to require hospitalization around the 72-96 hour mark (day 4).
Congrats OP. You're free.
>>710035734
I was homeless after being in a similar situation
Fuck all that I'd rather live in my car
>>710038723
Are you the guy?
>>710047187
another one
>Back when I first started staying there with him and didn't realize how crazy shit is
>He's watching fox news during breakfast while complaining how bias and fucked up CNN is and that everything they say is a lie
>agree and say yea, but fox isn't too much better though haha
>Craig turns and stares at me
>what do you mean...
>I mean CNN is known for being the channel for the left wing and Fox is for the right, you know?
>Craig gets gets a look of confusion, astonishment, and anger all mixed into one and starts shaking his head while stuttering.
>N-No! Fox is the most unbaised channel. I-Its the ONLY channel that tells the truth! They ALWAYS have both sides come on when they're having a debate.
>still don't realize how crazy he really is so i say that yea, they do but so does CNN. Aren't the opposing opinions just brought in to be punching bags?
>Craig starts to get red veins start popping out. That's when I started to realize
>NO! FOX ALWAYS HAS EQUAL SIDES OF THE ISSUE REPRESENTED. ITS THE ONLY CHANNEL THAT HAS THE BALLS TO NOT PROTECT THE LIBERALS AND SHOW HOW WRONG THEY REALLY ARE
>I shut the fuck up after that and went into my room.
No joke, I honestly thought people like that didn't really exist and that it was kind of a caricature portrayed by the internet and some media. but yea...
>dress up in pants suit with Hillary halloween mask
>walk up to random security camera and make the throat slitting gesture
>Pull pants down and poop in yard
>wipe with copy of the constitution
That'll probably get his goat.
>>710044262
Well he's autistic u retard so obviously he didn't get the message, and lol u don't even have the balls to just straight up tell an autistic man u don't wanna go on a trip with him
>>710048555
I cook my own food. Basically living off of the cheapest shit I can find. Beans, rice, chicken once in a while, and spaghetti. Eat one big dinner a day, I'm lucky if I eat twice a day during the week. My gf's family feeds me during the weekend. I also don't have cable, but Craig does. I don't have it hooked up in my room though. So I'm only paying him for internet. I have my gf's netflix account and I feel like a piece of shit already getting all the other help from her and her family.
and you had your own place working 35 hours a week? what was your rent? utilities? insurance bills? gas? food budget? cell phone? etc?
did you also go to school full time?
I'd really like some advice, not being sarcastic. If I could somehow manage to get out on my own, I definitely will
>>710048555
AHAHAHHA, guys come look at this part time mcdonalds cook telling us to be men bwahahhaa
>>710049791
>had
as in my first job...most teens flip burgers as a first job..builds character. maybe you should get some
>>710049642
Yea, I admitted I fucked up. I just didn't have that much experience dealing with autistic people at the time. maybe it might come naturally to you
Blow your own head off, that'll show him.
>>710049890
Yeah and the character it built you into was "Whiny Faggot" so good for you burger boy
I feel for you OP, I really do. You're in a difficult situation, but it sounds like you have no choice but to tough it out. Especially if your parents aren't coming back any time soon. :(
Have you tried explaining what's going on to them?
>>710049890
so are you going to answer my question or what? I genuinely want some advice.
here's a link to what I answered if you missed it>>710049722
>>710049943
how?
>>710050167
A gun, I suppose.
>>710048900
Do this
>>710050046
>telling someone to man up is being a whiny faggot...not the loser bitching about the person that is giving him a roof over his head
yeah, ok
>>710050084
thanks man
and yea I did. Both my parents are pretty fucked up over this. I gave my dad the password to my amazon prime student account that I have for free for the next few months so he could stream shows over there too and i saw the other day that he forgot to delete some of his recently viewed items. One of them was a book on how to deal with guilt. fucks me up to see them hurting over the situation because they're doing what they have to do, so I try to keep the complaining to a minimum when I talk to them
>>710050238
how would that show him though?
Anon I figured it out, your roommate is on /FIT/ (you said he lifts weights too right?) Right now but its his past self looking for advice, go and send him on a different path >>>/fit/39274406
Tell him he's fucking unreasonable in the most polite way possible. While doing this tell him you want to move his mothers things out of the room when he refuses tell him its a favor for your father if he still refuses i read about a way to kill him with Tylenol that's your only option after
If someone could screencap thread that'd be great. Also include me.
>>710050263
Thank you for supporting my proposal but I would only advise OP to do this should he have no other option. Taking a life is not something to be undertaken lightly.
>>710050453
Awh geez that's genuinely shit. :( I guess the only solution is to grit your teeth and spend as little time there as you can. And that's a pretty bad solution. I know it's tempting to fuck with someone who's pissing you off/invading your privacy so much. I'd be unbelievably tempted. Maybe jizzing in his shampoo would make you feel better, but don't do anything to genuinely harm him/fuck him up more... Definitely don't poison him either!
>>710050695
>your only option after
lmao yea idk if i could actually kill him or anyone for that matter. at least under these circumstances.
He seems, or his mum seemed quite religious.
Get a Jesus statue/ figure and slowly alter it over time so it starts to look more and more evil.
Just little bits at a time so he doesn't notice any big changes and suspect you. If he really is paranoid he might think that God is judging him.
Make fake Jehovah's Witness pamphlets convincing him that his way of life is sinful and will lead him to hell.
>>710050867
haha yea, like I said, I definitely want to stay away from fucking with him physically. So I agree with you there.
That's why i really enjoyed telling him about the dog shit and watching him go nuts over it. More stuff like that would probably be what i would go for
>>710050446
Telling someone to man up is literally the go to "bitch" move. No one in history who isn't a little pussy has ever told someone else to "man up". You got a little pissy at working omgtoomanyhours (35 kek) and thought it built character and made you manly huh? I'm 100% sure you are a video gaming, anime watching, death grip masturbating nu-male who based masculinity on how many hours you give your boss a week and thinks a fancy expensive car means he's worth anything. The reason I know this is because literally everyone has to have a job. It's only little faggots like you who think their baby service job is hard and makes them an adult. The rest of us do our work without flaunting it as an achievement because that's life.
>>710050453
We feel for you OP. I hope you can find a way out of your situation soon. Nobody deserves to live under a neurotic host.
Stay strong OP.
>>710050453
How's teaching ESL in Japan like? What are the requirements in your parents' company? I've done a little foreign teaching and it seems like fun.
>>710050938
>>710050938
Maybe you should tell him to fuck off and not go through your shit. When he runs into his room insult him. Become the fucking alpha OP
>>710049722
My college had dorms which could be paid for with grant/scholarship money, the catch was you had to move out over the summer, Christmas, and spring break. Do what I did, find 4 friends and split an apartment. Just for God's sake make sure they will pay their rent and don't steal. Other than that look on Craig's list, ask everyone you know about living situations, house sitting, garage lofts, squatting, whatever.
>>710051168
you know what's really funny?
he says that he now follows both judaism and christianity. He keeps all his moms religious shit up and has crosses by every door, but also owns a yamaka and those jewish candles that he puts out around christmas time. Also gets mail from the "International Fellowship of Christians and Jews".
back when my parents were still in the states, and right after he "converted", my dad bought him a cheap yamaka off of ebay or something as a joke and gave it to him for his birthday, thinking they'd have a good laugh. Dude took it with a straight face and thanked him. Even said he was looking for a good one like this everywhere but since the area is full of catholics, it's hard to find jewish shit anywhere
>>710032867
Do you have a bigger size for pic related? or do I have to look for it myself
>>710051826
Read up on some Jew conspiracy theories and start fucking with him that way. Every time he says the liberals are behind something, say "Yeah. Could be the Jews, though."
>>710051515
I mean, I'm still relying on this guy for a roof over my head. Which is why I've put up with all his shit with a smile. He also has a big gun safe with at least three rifles and a pistol from what I know and also makes his own bullets. Has the scale and gunpowder and empty casings and shells and tools and shit in the basement.
>>710051515
>the fucking alpha
I've been in this thread since the beginning and have to say I'm disappointed in myself and all the other anon's who haven't suggest OP bending Craig over and fucking him in the ass to assert dominance yet.
>I feel like a betafag
>>710051826
I found an off campus gf with her own place, shit was cash, just make sure you break up before you graduate.
>>710051643
Yea, I used to go to a big expensive school in philly. Shit just became too expensive and I was in over my head in debt which basically forced me into moving in with this guy and going to a satellite campus of a state school. Trust me, as far as friends and family, I've gone through all of the options and have received so much help already from those around me. Call it stupid if you want, but I just can't bring myself to accept any more charity from people. I really hate it
>>710052024
Should've mentioned the gun thing. DON'T fucking do what i said. Does he think you like him and does ge like you?
There's really no point fucking with him, life already fucked him big time, do u really wanna make his shitty life even shittier ?
>>710027390
Legendary post. Top!
>>710027390
If you must pay rent, it is your space. Grow a pair and stand up for yourself.
>>710052024
Build a bomb with his shit and set it off at the local democratic hq. You get the house to yourself until he gets out of prison/gets foreclosed.
>>710052325
Yea, he thinks I like him and I'm pretty sure he likes me. I'm pretty much his only form of social social life. My dad told me that he feels more comfortable commuting knowing that I'd be around as well, but that was a while ago.
I think he's still cool with me, he just gets super paranoid and crazy
>>710052024
Okay mate, seriously. I know you can't stand this guy anymore, but whatever you do, keep him as a friend. If shit breaks loose, he'll be the first guy you can talk to, because he's prepared. So don't kill him, but rather solve your own problems and get a proper job which pays your own home. That's the reason you're in his house in the first place, so go and make your own life better rather than his life worse.
>>710052297
>$200 rent
This guy is giving you charity.
>>710033760
Zoomed in for you guys. All you have to do is enhance the pic and then you can find his identity and do your raid thing or whatever you guys do
>>710052517
lmao this is actually a funny one. But i need some serious replies guys. something little like the dog shit incident that I could set up that would drive him crazy
>>710052617
He's a college student paying for his own shit he can't do that
>>710033760
Random question, Is this in Texas?
>>710052546
Call your dad put him on speaker and talk to him about it. If this doesn't work when he goes to sleel spray paint hillary Clinton was here somewhere on his house and car
>>710052853
Texas is not within 3 hours of New Jersey
>>710052673
More like $300-$350. but yea I know its super cheap. Which is why I've put up with all of his shit and not said a word to fight back. did you not read anything else?
I've been super respectful of him and have done everything he's said. I recognize the favor he's doing by letting me stay, regardless of whether he owes my dad or not. It's just that having no privacy and living on edge, getting anxiety every time you come home from class or work starts to wear on you after a couple years
Fuck dude, honestly I wouldn't fuck with him, just tough it out another 7 or 8 months. He sounds extremely unstable and if he realizes that you're the one fuckin with him he might turn on you. Just let it go bro.
>>710052853
nah PA
>>710052713
lol that's actually a picture of his mom and her coworkers
>>710027390
Pa fag here you can live with me
>>710052747
Instead of being "cool with each other" try to establish a (fake) real friendship. Make him think you like him just as much as your dad does. Then, you'll be able to actually communicate with him and establish rules.
Tell him he shouldn't be going through your shit, but also tell him you won't have anything he won't approve of.
He can't eat your food, and you won't eat his
And lay out any other rules you'd want, but make sure it can also benefit him.
It's best to have him as an ally instead of constantly trying to sabotage him or get revenge. Instead, use him and keep him under your thumb.
If all else fails, ask your dad for advice.
>>710053355
oh word!
If he's Jewish leave a note in his mailbox denying the Holocaust
>>710053447
thanks man. some solid advice
>>710027390
i would not be surprised if he was channer
>>710053026
Texas is not within three hours of any place that is not also Texas, unless your from El Paso. If you are, fuck you.
>>710035423
Well now I just feel sad for the poor crazy fuck. He'll never have that. The "love of his life" probably doesn't even remember him. He's going to die alone. You're probably the closest thing to a son he'll ever have. And you hate his guts. Try to remember that the next time he does something retarded.
Tell him that on the 2nd of November true fox loving jews are going to take a massive shit in public to protest CNN. Then see truly how much he loves Fox
>>710053649
Anytime. I genuinely want to know how your future will look like haha. The possibilities of the scenario you are in could end so many different, horrible ways or might lead to something great. Your life is a huge fucking gamble right now, play your cards right or you might end up making a thread in the future about how your current situation fucked you for life.
Is he buff anon? You said he lifts.
Man I can only imagine some crazy buff guy that could murder you for moving his lamp.
HAHA, IT WOULD BE SO HORRIBLE LIVING WITH SOMEONE LIKE THAT. LOL. sorry op.
Write fuck fox news somewhere on his house
Sign up for a shit ton of liberal mail in his name and watch him flip when he checks his mailbox
>>710032297
Pay him with a money order then you dumbass. Or get a receipt
Shit in his room while he's at work
But him an anime body pillow
>>710049165
One more unless I remember another one...
>neighbor across the street has a water pipe break
>water company comes, finds out that the layout f the piping is all fucked up and they're going to have to dig into Craig's yard to fix it
>leave a note on the door notifying him
>of course he's upset, yelling about how nice guys always finish last.
>seriously repeated that at least 5 times when I was talking to him that night
>talked to his lawyer who said that water company is liable for the damages to his property and had to fix it.
>they also destroyed the curb in front of the house too
>water company said it's not their responsibility but the county's to fix it.
>makes no sense and lawyer tells him he can sue
>craig agrees and so what does he do next?
>Fucking wake up the next day to see him filling the hole back up with soil from Lowes and planting grass.
>Oh shit, nice Craig!did you get money from them?
>no, I just couldn't stand looking at this big hole in my yard, I had to fill it up
>Oh... did you take any pictures of the damage?
>No but I figure the curb is enough. And you can see where the hole was.
>Lawyer hears about it and basically tells him he fucked up and to expect only a fraction of the money
>Craig gets depressed and doesn't sure for the curb because "it's not even worth it any more"
what the fuck
If you want living at his house tolerable, first you're going to have to improve communication, especially about the things that annoy each other. Although I realize that is a monumental task with such a person.
>>710054366
I mean my dad believes that I pay him. so it's not a real issue
Have a drink together wgile drinking act like his friend and try to reason with him if he still refuses got to your room where he obviously records you and jerk off into his moms underwear then leave the underwear outside his door
>>710053927
lol the love of his life has never even met him. I'm not even sure how he found her. like was he just watching the winter olympics on tv and happened to pick her out? I really have no idea.
>>710043253
I thought the curling story was sad. I was wrong. So fucking wrong.
>>710029901
>literally anything perceived to be bad is liberal's fault
Well at least he's perceptive, then.
>>710031030
kek
this is hilarious
>>710054081
Yea he is. My dad's super into it and has competed in amature weight lifting competitions over in Japan in the past when he was younger. So he's been helping craig out with a tailored program. The dude can bench six plates without a spotter
>>710031962
Holy fuck my sides. I haven't laughed in days and then this.
>>710031030
Fucking do this op but i have a feeling his while house is under surveillance so he might catch you
>>710031894
Underrated post
>>710027390
I gather from your description of him and your parents that you're Asian and he is too. I had 3 Asians on my dorm floor in college and they all fit that description to a tee.
There must be a roommate hookup section in newspapers or online for your area. Three or four people in a $2k apartment makes it reasonable - that's how I got through college. Fuck this guy by renting a room with others close to campus and move out without telling him. Let your parents tell him from Japan.
>>710054692
remembered another one
>Craig always thinks he knows best.
>always trying to one up you with facts and shit if you mention something interesting
>basically wants to make sure you know he's smart
>In High School, I used to work for a landscaping company.
>Offered to help Craig with some landscaping work one summer because I'm living with him now.
>Want's to redo the entire trimming of the property around the house. Put a stone border about two feet out from the house and fill up the space inside with fresh mulch
>First, we pull all the old shit out, level the ground, put down a weed tarp, dig a trench, fill it with sand, level that, and then place the stone border on top of that.
>Next is the mulch
>I have a lot of experience with this shit so he asks how many bags we need.
>Tell him we'll probably need to buy in bulk instead of bags.
>dismisses it, next day shows up with 8 bags
>literally barely covers the 1/10 of what we're trying to do
>calls the mulch guys and orders a truckload
>weekend is done so I have work the next morning. Before I leave, he asks what the best shovel to use is.
>I tell him the metal shovel we've been using
>You don't think a snow shovel will work?
>No, they're plastic, and you wont be able to get your shovel into the actual pile easily. mulch is solid, it's not like snow.
>oh yea, ok
>walk outside to head to work, see him with the snow shovel
>when i get back, I see the metal shovel I suggested laying by the pile.
why the fuck would you ask a question if you're not even going to listen to the answer unless it's the one you want to hear.
>>710030823
Why dont you stay in your parents (your) home like when they are in country
>>710054706
This. This x 1,000
>>710056706
because they sold the house when they moved to Japan
Hahaha, u really wanna mess with a mentally retarded person in his own castle ? A very angry and severely autistic man will not think twice about shooting you in head 10 times if you piss him off enough, good luck to you
>>710054706
>>710056777
I already went over this here >>710053447
Why not just move to Japan?
>>710056669
remembered another short one
>Craig has been paying for mackeeper almost a decade.
>for you pc people, it's well known spam that tries to get you to download it on shady sites claiming to provide security for your mac
>He's been paying that scam a monthly or yearly subscription for years and was about to reactivate it on his new computer before I saw and told him to stop.
>>710057291
because I'm a semester and a half from getting my degree. i also have have gf who I've been with for the past 5 years who has a great career.
move out
>>710027390
>parents move out of town
>move in with virgin family friend
>not fucking him
wtf kind of doujin is this?
>>710057450
how?
and please read about my situation before you say some dumb shit. Since I've already gone over it multiple times
who /Team Craig/ here?
Sounds like a cool guy.
>>710057445
Why not live with gf
>>710051643
..craigs..list
>>710057445
Why not move in with gf?
>>710056346
Lol no, he's from philly, is white, and looks like an autistic kevin james. My dad is also white and from philly. my mom is japanese
>>710057726
check my explanation here
>>710036572
>>710027390
your craig is sound like typical poltard
plant heroin, scales and small bags in his car call popo and rat on him
>>710038723
Autism at its finest lads
The guy is mentally retarded and should already be in a home
He owes his life to OP's dad because the guy is too scared to do anything for himself
OP just try and fuck with him however you can, maybe disable some cameras if possible and leave notes around the house outside saying that you are coming for him. After all, tonight is Halloween
>>710056669
Get a job at a decently busy chain restaurant, cash tips in hand are what you need.
Live off barely anything.
Get a studio or one bedroom.
Live this way until you graduate.
Obviously you are not making enough at your current job and it sounds like a pretty toxic environment.
Also, see if you qualify for any academic scholarships. When I was in school and in a similar situation like you, I got a 5k a year scholarship just for having over a 3.4 gpa.
It paid my rent for almost the entire year.
This is exactly what I did when I was in a similar situation to you, I had a crazy fucking roommate, but not as bad as you.
Good luck!
Where in philly?
>>710057829
I think after all the 'just move out' posts, OP might be starting to find Craig less annoying compared to these tards.
>>710058004
This if you have access and aren't seen on any of the camera beforehand. Try to find blind spots if any or disable them
surf kiddy porn on his pc
>>710058114
He could mask up (pref. hillary mask) and cover up one of the cameras while Craig is at work. Don't do anything else, but he will go nuts trying to figure out why they did it.
>>710057732
Hmm, an autistic Kevin James but can bench 6 plates without a spotter? I think Kevin James would have difficulty getting back up if he fell over.
I would definitely pick the move-in-with-gf or find-4-roommates options in your position. I lived in some shitty-assed student ghetto apartments with lots of other roommates in college, and would have taken that over what you describe of your dad's friend. I also had a chance to rent from a woman while in grad school who wanted to oversee my life like your friend (Imake here), and noped hard. Keep looking, any real college will have a suitable student ghetto nearby.
>>710027390
You are such an ungrateful little shit.
>>710027902
Your dad was a nice guy, how come he is related to you?
>>710057332
Think I might be all out for the moment after this one...
>Craig can't function around women but for some reason will go above and beyond in niceness when he's around other guy's wifes or gf's.
>When my parents were still in the states, he'd always flirt with my mom in a super beta sort of way.
>Tell her how amazing she looked, comment on her hair, clothes, etc. Would rave about her cooking to the point it would get really weird.
>mentioned this to my dad and he said he's always been like that
>remember he used to buy my mom jewelry for christmas and her birthday until i think my dad told him to cut it the fuck out.
>dude will stutter and freeze up around women or girls in public but if they're with a guy, he gets super clingy and weird.
>First time my gf ever comes to visit me at his place.
>craig buys lobster and steak and cooks a surprise surf and turf dinner
>had reservations at a sushi place but he's trying to be nice so i discretely call and cancel.
>go to eat, he lights a candle, turns on music, and dims the lights. Then goes over into the next room to watch fox news
>we're sitting there at this tiny table, surrounded by rooster plates and crucifixes, next to his trashcan that reeks and suddenly the lobster doesn't taste quite right
>its cold on the inside and slimy
>can't see because it's so dark so I pull out my phone and shine the light
>our lobster is half cooked, inside is basically that clear milky color.
>cut into the steak, shit is totally raw on the inside.
>I love my steak rare, but this shit was ridiculous, like I could still see the puncture holes from the tenderizer he used. Shit was not cooked at all.
>we sit around for a bit and then i roll the food up in paper towels and try to toss it.
>push it underneath the garbage already in the trashcan trying to hide it.
>next day, he asks me if my gf didn't like the food?
>I say no, she loved it!
> He stares at me for a minute and then walks away.
>>710059182
come on, theres got to be more!!
>>710059008
well you know, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they like to hug and kiss. sometimes, if they do it enough and when they're naked, this hugging and kissing will make a baby.
>>710035423
>loves Japan
He probably frequents 4chan anon, what if he's lurking in this thread?
>>710059711
Holy shit that'd be amazing
Hope you didn't like having your skin not be a jacket for people named Craig OP
It's funny because he probably already has perfectly planned your murder, be careful anon, u think he's an innocent little happy retard don't u ? But u dont know wtf is going on inside his head, he might just hate you as much as you hate him
>>710059711
I doubt it
He didn't realize that they sold golf bags or window blinds on amazon
Up until a year ago, he also didn't know you could stream netflix on your computer. He thought it was only DVD's.
There's no way he knows wtf 4chan and if he does, all the shit on fox about how 4chan is full of terrorists would probably scare him away any way
>>710060166
Oh, I wouldn't be surprised.
The one time he was out shopping and my gf left while he was gone. he sent this big long email to my dad about how unappreciative she is and how she didn't even wait for him to come back to say goodbye. Said that he noticed we don't really talk to him too much when she comes over and that she probably thinks he's a hermit. He also said that he knows she's probably thinking "evil thoughts" about him because he says she "tenses up" when he tries to talk to her.
Dude has never initiated conversation. She's always the one to say hello, goodbye, and make an attempt at small talk.
So he's delusional.
But that was about two years ago, she hasn't been back since that day
>>710046698
pretty spooked
Op is either bait or a huge loser.
Man up.
Get a life.
Leave the guy's home.
Or just kill yourself.
>>710056862
You aren't loved. Die.
>>710060780
Anyways, I think that's it for now.
Hope you guys enjoyed sharing my shitty life
honestly, telling you guys about all this bull shit helped a lot. Gonna put the blinders on for another 8 months and grind till I can get the fuck out
Ehh, OP, I empathize. Everyone flaming you is full of shit, either jealous, misguided, unempathetic, idiotic, or simply a troll. No need to explain yourself to these idiots more than necessary to continue the great stories.
Don't fuck with him. Ruining the status quo could be bad for you; it seems like he's genuinely.... if not autistic, then sub points on the social intelligence and fluid intelligence scale. Either improve communication or leave things be. Malevolence will not help anyone. Unless it provides great stories, then it helps us.
>>710027390
Cover his yard with Trump signs. Stickers on his car. Start with a couple and every time he freaks out and removes them, add more.
>>710061394
lol i'll try to remember some others because there's tons. hopefully someone screenshotted this one because I sure didn't
Mfw when Craig probably posted on /b/ when OP moved in asking how he can fuck with his best friends kid who is living with him
>>710061592
Shillary signs would be better. He's autistic, but at least he's intelligent enough to see though Shillary's corruption. He'd like Trump signs and go bat shit over evil queen signs.
holy shit Craig is autistic as fug, OP thank you for the laughters i had in this thread..
but i waaaant mooooooooore
Man OP I feel sad for you my dude,
I hope you are able to find a way out soon. I would have killed him by now.
OPs host reminds me a bit of my father even though he is not as autistic as Craig.
Only lived with my father in a two room apartment for a year when i moved to another country. Then i couldnt stand it anymore.
i feel for you OP
>>710050453
Fuck dude, that's a spectacularly shitty situation. Hope you're finished soon, just keep your head down and try not to get involved with his autistic shit as much as possible. Keep us updated though, because as much as I feel for you, this shit is fucking gold.
Inb4 OP gets degree and realizes he still can only find job at shitty retail stores and lives with "craig" for many more moons
>>710062502
Kek
>>710027902
Bumping with stories about how crazy this OP is, but first a little background on the guy
>be OP a faggot that is so useless that he can't carry his own weight and has to live with a mentally sick person that watches over him.
>Due to lack of own relations, has to use his fathers favours so he has a place to sleep
>So useless that he has to underpay a mentally sick person so that he can have a roof over his head
>So stupid that he shits where he eats and tries to find ways to fuck up the person who helps him
>literally so dumb that he can't come up with original ideas and has to ask in an anonimous board
but yeah sure, jokes on the crazy guy
