Technology related YLYL thread.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Technology related YLYL thread.
Before reading what's in the picture, let me start this off..
So a few months ago, my Company has hired on a new Manager. He has proven himself to know the bare minimum to scrape by in the field and has asked multiple times about changing the input on a monitor. It also took him 7 hours to change between desks when he has no data that's stored locally. His official position- "Technical Resource Manager".
Last week I was given a raise as well as a new Job Description which is a fucking joke. Keep in mind that he is now in charge of handling most HR tasks as well is now my Manager who makes the SOPs and forms going forward. I also asked him consistently for any type of job description 2 weeks after he started when he announced that he will be making new forms, descriptions, and SOPs.
1st Sentence:
>Is it Systems or System Administrator?
>>Summary sounds like a bad cover letter
>>>Trying hard are we?
3rd Sentence:
>No Supervisor in Company
>>TRM and can't change input
>>>I'm supposed to report to this guy
Essential Job Functions:
1st Line:
>If currently on a call I'm getting a write up
>>Supposed to tell the customer to hold the fuck up and put them on hold because the phone is ringing.
>>>This is for Helpdesk
3rd Line:
>Have complete CRM Ticket System but get told to work from Mailbox directly
>>Can email from CRM where the Company Mailbox(Helpdesk@) creates a Ticket
5th Line:
>Network == Wireless
6th Line:
>Company GOAL is 6 hours per day
>>Owner always says there's not enough work to truly get 6 hours each day
>>>Going to get a write up every day
7th Line:
>Supposed to QC own builds
9th Line:
>5th Line in less words
10th Line:
>He must've forgot about 5 and 9.
>>Analyzing, Diagnosing, and Determining the Root Cause
>>>Maybe if I throw a few big words then they'll think I'm serious
>>707424304
Additional Responsibilities:
1st Line:
>Identifies*
2nd Line:
>Goes on a Resume
>>We support Apple Devices as well(sadly)
3rd Line:
>Good luck Grammar Nazis, an Aneurysm awaits.
4th Line:
>Goes on a Resume
>>What an Engineer is for
5th Line:
>Must've forgot he's writing a Job Description and isn't applying for a job with his example Resume from Google.
7th Line:
>Systems Administrator only needs Basic Skills. Lol
9th Line:
>Forgot about the 3rd Line.
10th Line: >Shit, I guess I’m getting a write up for not REQUIRING HELP at a Client Site.
11th Line:
>We have never and will never do classes or training.
Preferred Qualification/Skills:
>Qualifications*
3rd Line:
>Isn't this Helpdesk?
4th Line:
>Would never hire someone with a Bachelor's in CS
>>Couldn't afford someone with a Bachelor's in CS because they'd want a lot
>>>Don't need programming other than basic scripts for mapping printers and shares
All in all I've decided to give myself a new Job Title-
Helystem Admingineer
>>707424087
>>707424335
Waaaaay tldr
>>707424087
print ('Cringe')
>>707424304
if you don't lie in your resume in america you're a cuck
>>707424908
So if I like it I'm not a cuck?
Sweet
>>707424304
An essential job function of a sysadmin is to be a SME? WT actual F?
Has anyone else at the company seen this? I hope this guy doesn't make client facing materials.
Maximum cringe material.
>>707424335
>Helystem Admingineer
>>707424766
wtf lmao
>>707425318
Apparently he has said that he's run it by the owner and he approved it. Doubtful.
I've shown it to one other person that also believes he needs to be fired, we have some good times laughing at him almost daily.
It's hard not to just tell him to sit down during our meetings because he's always the only one standing during the whole thing. He also says soap box a lot when he's done talking.
>>707425957
>>707425935
>>707425905
>>707425869
>>707425840
>>707425814
>>707425783
>>707425749
I've got some but I'm getting errors about not being able to post audio streams
>>707425957
This one was my favourite!
>>707424304
>Additional Responsibilities: assist client issues including....
So, your manager wants you to assist the issues client's are having instead of resolving them?
>TFW you have been called to a higher purpose
>TFW you finally get to fight the system
>TFW client issues finally have an ally
You know what you must do.
>>707426493
I'm glad you like them! This one is my favorite: >>707425814
You can see the frustrated mouse shake when the wrong number is selected. Gets me every time!
>>707426068
There's at least a few more, but I don't have them. Too bad, really.
>>707425941
start looking for new job? Bad managers can really run a company into the ground. Guy sounds like a tool.
>>707424766
> TempleOS
> thread
>>707424087
KarlieKlossKode
KkK
Koencidence?
I think not?
>>707424087
People have no clue either. This is disgusting.
>>707426710
Yeah that one is probably my second favourite >>707425814
The mouse shake is classic!
>>>707425749
>>>707425783
>>>707425814
>>>707425840
>>>707425869
>>>707425905
>>>707425935
>>>707425957
These are officially my favourite part of the internet. Thank you.
>>707424304
>>707424335
>>>/g/57022364
you should join us
>>707425749
>>707425783
>>707425814
>>707425840
>>707425869
>>707425905
>>707425935
>>707425957
This make me feel weird..
>>707430490
Banzai Buddy! That was the very best virus I've ever owned. I missed him so much that I had a Windows 98 VM that I would use to run him on. SO cool.
>>707430916
This Google is using readyboost, like a fucking boss! Living life on the edge too, I never took that readyboost USB out of my computer. I was convinced it would kill everything if I did.
>>707431376
WinAmp! It really kicks the Lama's Ass!!!
>>707424087
Is that a hello world script in ruby?
That is literally the first thing this bitch has done.
>>707430916
I love seeing debate shit on 4chan.
>>707431114
Still going with that operation google cringe?
>>707434140
It's fun for me. =D
>>707432785
policy fags in the hizzy...
>>707425935
>Dem Strowager switches
>>707424766
>>707431123
Fuck. I nostalgia'd.
>>707423891
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcR-EbHx3Tk
>>707423891
love it and i lost hard
>>707436801
future linebacker right there
>>707425935
>webm
>>707425905
>>707425878
>>707425869
>>707425840
>>707425814
>>707425783
>>707425749
Those are gold! THanks to whoever did these :-)
>>707425935
this is actually a good idea. would serve as a captcha replacement while entering phone number.
>am i a bad person?
>>707431123
Ahh memories.
My first net connection (dial up) was 1996. My ISP gave me everything I needed such as browser, mail client, IRC client, Newsgroup client etc on about 7 or floppies. I also got a complementary book entitled "Navigating the world wide web with Netscape". I dont know what happened to that book. I wish I still had it.
>>707426523
OP you must tear down the network. It is in your job description OP. proceed to police all EF and AF41 traffic to 1% throughout the access layer.
It is your duty OP. GodSpeed!
>>707438974
this
>>707425957
>>707425935
>>707425905
>>707425869
>>707425840
>>707425814
>>707425783
>>707425749
im fucking dead
>1
>2
>3 4
Enjoy, /g/entoomen
>>707431721
Whips* c'mon man
>>707424816
I read it and wish that I didn't no one cares.
>>707424335
>>707424304
Who the fuck cares?
It's good enough.
It's a job description, not a requirements specification for a tokomak.
>>707436801
seriously tho is that lady just trying to run across the road to dodge it, or is she a bitch?
>>707426068
>>707436801
dat wilhelm
>>707424304
>>707424335
>>707444044
malware
>>707444141
>>707444044
>444044
Even 4chan's trying to tell us to avoid it. That's the god of all 404's.
>>707444044
![ND6AyZl[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/MJBup47.jpg "ND6AyZl[1].jpg")
>tfw have an assignment for tomorrow that I haven't started and tried to caffeinate myself for that power boost
>>707424304
dude no waaaaaay
Shameless bump, some of these are gold.
>>707424304
Smile an take the mony u cuck
>>707423891
driving in russia
>>707424304
Why do some words get the "(s)" treatment and not others?
Why are random words capitalised?
What is "file security"?
If this guy's working at your company, I think you're better than this company.
>>707444395
lel. teh usual. what assignment is dat
>>707446918
Some shit with Active-HDL on Lattice Diamond, for university
>>707445704
As an electrician the only thing it's missing is pennies.
Otherwise made my fucking night.
>350 amp audio visual alert
My fucking sides.
>>707445906
In real life, there are no black people there.
>>707447401
thats the joke
>>707432138
That's not really the issue. The issue is that people are praising her for doing something that you could teach a monkey, and even considering hiring her despite the fact that she has no programming skills yet.
Maybe she'll be the best programmer in the world in a few years, but right now she will not contribute to your company in any meaningful way.
>>707447401
that, and there were no women
>>707424087
TRIGGERED
>>707430916
kek
>>707424087
Just the fact that she would post this proves she's full of shit. This shit is literally babby's first coding lesson.
>>707424335
If you're wondering whether upper management knows that this guy is pants-on-head incompetent: They know.
This is an opportunity, if you want it. If what you actually need is a competent person doing what he ought to be doing, then you need to brace yourself for some rocky times ahead, because my experience has been that upper management will wait always wait until something fails before replacing it, meaning things will have to go in the shitter before your shitty boss gets replaced.
To protect yourself from the fallout, you MUST start communicating in ways that are recorded, asap. Any information you give him, give him via company email (assuming your company has its own email and keeps good backups). If your company uses Sametime or some equivilent interoffice instant messaging system, turn on chat history and make your own backups.
This is a good idea anyway, regardless of your boss, but absolutely necessary when your boss is a prat, because when shit goes south, the prat always blames others. Having your communication documented and organized means that when he tells you, in the presence of upper management, "Anon, you never told me about this." You can say, "Actually, I did. Here's the message I sent you and here's the follow-up I sent."
You can't make other people smart, and you can't make upper management choose good middle management. It's out of your control. What you *can* do is be good at your job, and make yourself bulletproof through thorough documentation of all communication.
I suffered through a buffoon of a boss, and then his mistakes and ineptitude cost the company a lot of money, and then one day his office was empty and we never had to deal with him again, and his replacement is a fucking pro. I thought I was good, but holy shit, my new boss could do absolutely anyone's job in the whole department if he had to.
So hang in there and cross your fingers.
>>707445748
>the egg
>an ipad
>mac and cheese
My sides are not here anymore
>>707425869
I remember at highschool there was this huge poster with 50 or 100 decimals of pi. So we picked the first phone number that came up and called him and bascially told him that his phone number apperead on pi's decimal.
>>707445867
kek
>>707423891
man I fucking love to kek and I just rofl'd hard at this.. But wow if I wanted someone to act like a retard in public then have a good laugh at it.. then I would've gone to 4chan.org
>>707424087
>AMG we code but now
>Literally struggling with the Linux CLI equivalent of the 'previous folder' button
>>7074478522
2003 I actually bought norton anti virus. Kek
>>707447852
I've always kept well away from Norton. What's its problem?
>>707446030
In my defense, absolutely no one in my country calls this anything other than "pendrive"
>>707431721
I still use winamp
>>707448966
Havent used it since 98 maybe early 2000
But it slowed my shit down completely and didnt block viruses at all, didnt notify you until it was already too late
It doesnt really prevent anything and there is better, free software to remove once you fucked yourself.
>>707424087
>>707424087
Wait if she had both hands on the keyboard, who took the pic?
>>707449313
OMG I KNOW RITE?
>>707443602
insurance fraud
>>707430916
i lel'd
>>707443602
Insurancy scam in Asia
>>707449646
>>707449313
>what is a timer
>>707449241
> I really like Norton
Picture of a Duck
>It makes my PC slow so i know it's doing the hard work.
Can't be bothered to search the picture of TI Duck
>>707436801
>>707449646
#trippy
>>707450556
how is it possible?
>>707449093
this. hunfag detected
>>707450654
The net is so fine that cause light diffraction. So the scattered light doesnt show the W
>>707450779
is its like cloaking it? science is awesome
>>707424087
but who took the picture?
>>707451023
She was holding the camera with her mouth
>>707445704
top kek
>>707445826
well he tried to blend in, this niggers alright, ill kill him last
>>707445826
this got me off-guard
>>707449179
Its better to have had fun and crash and burn then to be poor and never had fun at all
-Paul Walker 2016
>>707451112
Who took the pic doe?
>>707425749
>>707425783
>>707425814
>>707425840
>>707425869
>>707425905
>>707425935
As a UX designer these kill me
>>707451355
>>707449179
This is surprisingly accurate.
>>707451689
a bit outdated piece of technology, but lost
>>707446030
>zip diskette
Holy fuck
>>707447401
or women
>>707430916
lost at "handfaggot"
>>707451956
fucken lost m8
>>707452096
nice open tabs faggot
>>707452302
Its a dead meme from 2009 newfag
>>707452096
>>707430862
adware* get it right faggot
>>707450779
>>707450654
what the fuck this has to be bait
the w doesn't show in the shadow because it doesn't physically exist, it's just the the color of those strings. shadow has no color, therefore you won't see the w in the shadow.
>>707452940
>the w doesn't show in the shadow because it doesn't physically exist
dont be stupid, if it didnt exist then how come we can see it?
>>707446030
I usually call it a flash drive. But i'll occasionally call it a jump drive.
>>707453068
i call it a memory stick
>>707452302
>>707451956
too spooky for me
>>707453068
jump drive? really?
hmm that's a new one, i grew up callin it a warp drive...
>>707446030
I refer to it as "the usb" and people seem to know what i am talking about
>>707448137
you what
>>707426710
Please explain these to me. I don't understand what is funny
![tumblr_mb4rotKKtz1qmkl87[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/nCL25uO.gif "tumblr_mb4rotKKtz1qmkl87[1].gif")
>>707436472
>>707450654
>>707450779
>>707450826
I know you guys are just meming but my jimmerjammers are still wrestled.
>>707448966
It's barelly better than Mcafee
>>707451729
as long it does the work...
>>707453706
I dont understand your point? Science is amazing
>>707453625
Pretty advanced Boston dynamics drone
>>707451023
thats a polish guy
>>707436472
this is pretty cool, sadly, when you try to lift the beer, it breaks your back and strangles you
>>707445906
You know why
>>707452991
because it's only the color of the strings you idiot.
during a solar eclipse, the shadow of the moon is black on earth not white.
likewise, the shadow of a racquet will show only the strings, not their color.
>>707452991
>>707454470
stop please ur not funny your just making the aliens fuckin hate you
>>707448408
>I'm a bore; avoid me
>>707454781
Nobody likes you.
>>707454470
oooooh rly?
>>707452302
Welcome new friend
>>707430490
Gonna win that lobster dinner tho
>>707453295
Kek
>>707423891
I'm proud of my country... Beautiful France...
>>707455734
why did this make me kek
fml
>>707456747
AUGH
>>707449120
But like, why? They did have sweet amp skins.
>>707424087
i don't get it, what does this mean?
>>707446030
minnepinne ftw
>>707438653
I don't think you understand what a captcha does. this wouldn't help at all
https://youtu.be/QHLIckF6NdY
>>707425935
There was a time when this itself was a vast improvement over what went before.
>>707424304
>>707424335
>>707431123
good times.
>>707458511
just did this
WTF
>>707454215
who says the beer is attached to the platform?
>>707424087
What the shit
>>707431123
Sexy
>>707457522
programmers are pussies. they want it to seem like their job is hard or requires intelligence and that they're not just a bunch of scientist rejects, so any time someone posts something about it they flood in and shit themselves trying to show they know a couple more lines than the poster. on an anonymous board.
>>707430916
ASS DRIVE
>>707446030
DONGLE
>>707451956
I lost, good shit anon
>>707451023
The other blonde bitch who come up with this shitty idea.
>>707456767
What's up with John Callahan
>>707424087
I don't know a shit about coding but I can see there's a lot of "command not found" there which means total failure
>>707431123
>comic sans in the title bar
>>707460799
2spooky4me.
>>707424087
>having a function to concat 2 strings
eghhhh fucking end yourself
>>707460714
>Callahan
>>707446030
we call them digisticks at my work
>>707445748
gets me everytime
>>707453379
same here, but i guess i switch to not-so-floppy-dongle now
>>707451524
Meh. The only cards that failed me were ATI or AMD.
>>707448536
I like you
>>707445704
My friend use to have to de-nigger rig the electrical meters in North Philly.
He said he found one of the shiny plastic knifes melted once trying to be used as a jumper.
>>707446030
i call it how it is... usb stick.
>>707460210
Quite defensive there anon.
>>707449646
The sun rays bend around it, its how they discovered black holes n sheeit.
>>707462397
let's be real here. i know you aren;t supposed to carry anything with you in case of a fire in your house, but bitch.. i'd carry as much ou as i possibly could. starting with my pc and ending with my wif-... nah. she can stay.
>>707426523
>client's are having
It's funny because everything else you said suggested you might be literate.
>>707449646
rly makes u think about life and govrnment u know
>>707449646
>niggers
>>707454470
you fell for some serious bait there friend
>>707462822
Eugene?
Well shit. This was a man on man thing
>>707441170
FUCK you now I'm mad.
>>707463054
Family guy does shit web comics now huh?
>>707445826
>>707464416
Lmao
>>707454470
>Wow.
Pls get off the chan newfriend
Chimpin' out on twitter
>>707424087
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxxJEslpcg0
